Lassiter Quotes

“Aha!" Lassiter pointed at the boob tube. "You motherfucker! I knew you were the father!”
― J.R. Ward, Lover Reborn

“I want to see the front of you.”
“That’s what all the girls say.”
“Do you expect me to roll you over? ’Cuz I will.”
“Your mate’s not going to like this.”
“As if that’s going to bother you?”
“True. It actually makes it worth the effort.”
With a groan, he shoved his palms into the shimmering silver pool of blood beneath him, and flopped over like the side of beef he was.
“Wow,” she breathed.
“I know, right? Hung like a horse.”
“If you’re really nice—and you live through this—I’ll promise not to tell V.”
“About my size.”
She laughed a little. “No, that you assumed I’d look at you in any fashion other than professionally.”
― J.R. Ward, Lover Reborn

“Cowards hide [...] but warriors lie and wait [...] the only difference is whether you're motivated by fear or purpose.”
― Neal Shusterman, UnSouled

“Lassiter skidded in from the billiards room, the fallen angel glowing from his black-and-blond hair and white eyes, all the way down to his shitkickers. Then again, maybe the illumination wasn’t his nature, but that gold he insisted on wearing.
He looked like a living, breathing jewelry tree.
“I’m here. Where’s my chauffeur hat?”
“Here, use mine,” Butch said, outing a B Sox cap and throwing it over. “It’ll help that hair of yours.”
The angel caught the thing on the fly and stared at the red S. “I’m sorry, I can’t.”
“Do not tell me you’re a Yankees fan,” V drawled. “I’ll have to kill you, and frankly, tonight we need all the wingmen we’ve got.”
Lassiter tossed the cap back. Whistled. Looked casual.
“Are you serious?” Butch said. Like the guy had maybe volunteered for a lobotomy. Or a limb amputation. Or a pedicure.
“No fucking way,” V echoed. “When and where did you become a friend of the enemy—”
The angel held up his palms. “It’s not my fault you guys suck—”
Tohr actually stepped in front of Lassiter, like he was worried that something a lot more than smack talk was going to start flying. And the sad thing was, he was right to be concerned. Apart from their shellans, V and Butch loved the Sox above almost everything else—including sanity.”
― J.R. Ward, Lover at Last

“Rhage raised his hand. "Pastor Ass-hat, I have a question." "Yes, my son, you ARE going to hell." Lassiter made the sign of the cross and then looked around.”
― J.R. Ward, The King

“Tohr shook his head. "If you're going to get plastered, why can't you do it like areal man."
"I like the taste of fruit."
"You are what you drink."
The angel glanced up at the clock, "Shit. I missed Maury. But, I DVR'd Ellen.”
― J.R. Ward, Lover Reborn

“Tohr jacked forward his in his seat. "What the hell!"
As Lassiter's big body cut through the projection onto the screen, a gigantic pair of flapping breasts covered his face and chest. "Adventures in the Milfy Way. A true classic."
"It's porn!"
"Duh--"
"Okay, I am not sitting through this with you"
The angel, still standing up. shrugged. "Just wanted to make sure you know what you're missing.”
― J.R. Ward, Lover Reborn

“I have peanut M&M's up there."
"Not my style"
"Raisinets."
"Feh."
"Sam Adams."
Thor narrowed his eyes. "Cold?"
"Downright icy."
Thor crossed his arms over his chest and told him self he was not pouting like a five-year-old. "I want Milk Duds.”
― J.R. Ward, Lover Reborn

“Lassiter hit pause and clamped a hard hand on his shoulder."Sit the fuck back. Watch and learn."
"What? How much I hate rom-coms? How 'bout we just stipulate that and let me go."
"You're going to need this."
" For my second career as a pussy?”
― J.R. Ward, Lover Reborn

“Tohr took a pull of his beer. “What the hell is this?”
“When Harry Met Sally.”
Tohr lowered the longneck from his mouth. “What?”
“Shut it. After this, we’re going to watch an episode of Moonlighting. Then An Affair to Remember—the old-school one, not that stupidity with Warren Beatty. Then The Princess Bride—”
Tohr hit the switch by his hip and straightened the chair up. “Okay. Right. Have fun with this—”
― J.R. Ward, Lover Reborn

“Halle-fucking-lujah!”
― J.R. Ward, Lover Reborn

“Can you drive any faster?" Tohr demanded.
"I got the pedal to the medal" The angel looked back. "And I don't care what I have to mow over”
― J.R. Ward, Lover Reborn

“I brought us all Big Macs,” he said happily. “I know you dig ’em, remember?” “What the…” Tohr tightened his grip on his shellan, just in case . . . well, shit, with the way things were going lately, anything could happen. “What are you doing here?” “It’s your lucky day, motherfucker.”
― J.R. Ward, Lover Reborn

“You love it right?" Lassiter asked, holding his Bible high. "I mean, you told me to go on the internet. I did. I even printed out my diploma or whatever the hell it's called." Opening the cover of the King James version, he took out a piece of paper and waved it around. "See? Nice and legal-like" Beth leaned in "Wow". "I know right? Just like Harvard" "Impressive" "I'm totally framing that shit, wha-what.”
― J.R. Ward, The King

“Wow," she breathed.
"I know, right? Hung like a horse."
"If you're really nice-and you live through this-I'll promise not to tell V."
"About my size."
She laughed a little, "No, that you assumed I'd look at you in any fashion other than professionally.”
― J.R. Ward, Lover Reborn

“We’re vampires,” he said. “Not fairies.”
“Sometimes I’m not so sure about that. You see that study your king hangs out in?”
“He’s nearly blind.”
“Which explains why he hasn’t hanged himself in that pastel train wreck.”
“I thought you were bitching about the gloom-and-doom decorating?”
“I free-associate.”
― J.R. Ward, Lover Avenged

“There was a soft chiming sound, which meant, tragedy of tragedies, the angel had just popped himself up onto the countertop. “So, what are we doing tonight? Wait, let me guess, sitting in morose silence. Or, no…you’re mixing it up. Brooding with soulful intensity, right? What a fucking wild child you are. Whoo. Hoo. Next thing you know, you’ll be opening for Slipknot.”
With a curse, Tohr stood up and went over to turn on the shower, hoping that if he refused to look at the loudmouth, Lassiter would get bored more quickly and move on to ruin someone else’s afternoon.”
― J.R. Ward, Lover Avenged

“End of the day, the quick and the dead are the same. Everyone's just looking for a home.”
― J.R. Ward, Lover Reborn

“You can call me Pastor-and before Mr. Sox Fan gets his panties in a wad, I want everyone to know I'm legit. I went online, took a minister's course in under an hour, and I'm ordained, baby.”
― J.R. Ward , The King

“If you’ve bullshitted me, angel, I’m going to kill you.”
The other male rolled his eyes. “I’m already dead, idiot.”
― J.R. Ward, Lover Reborn

“Hey, no offense, but do you mind if you put both your palms where I can see ’em?”
― J.R. Ward, Lover Reborn

“Without time,” the angel said, “you have only the bottomless, shapeless mire of eternity.”
“FYI, philosophy bores me.”
“Not philosophy. Reality. Time is what gives life significance.”
― J.R. Ward, Lover Avenged

“The angel popped his already mile high collar. "She said she wanted the holiest thing in the house to do it." "She got holey, all right," somebody muttered. "Is that Butche's Bible?" V asked. The angel flashed the goods. "Yup, and his BoC, he called it? I also got a sermon I did myself." "Saints preserve us," came from the opposite side of the crowd. "Wait, Wait, Wait." V waved his hand rolled around. "I'm the son of a deity and she picked you?”
― J.R. Ward, The King

“I'll give them my number, too. And my brother Vishous made sure we have the best reception and service in the city. No dead zones. Unless you're around Lassiter, and that's more of a mental thing than anything about cellular networks."

"Um ... Lassiter?" Bitty said.

Rhage nodded. "Yeah, he's this pain in the ass--oh, shit--I mean, sorry, I shouldn't say ass around you, should I? Or shit. And all those other bad words." He poked himself in the head. "I gotta remember that, gotta remember that. Anyway, Lassiter's a fallen angel who we've somehow gotten stuck with. He's like gum on the bottom of your shoe. 'Cept he doesn't smell like strawberries, he hogs the T.V. remote, and on a regular basis. you think to yourself, Is that really the best the Creator could do with an immortal? The guy has the worst taste in television--I mean, the only saving grace is that he isn't addicted to Bonanza ...have you ever watched twelve straight hours of Saved by the Bell? Okay, fine, it was probably only seven, and it wasn't like I couldn't have left--my God, I tell you, though, it's a wonder I escaped with my ability to put my pants on one leg at a time still intact ...”
― J.R. Ward, The Beast

“The righteous do not always do right, but their souls remain pure.”
― J.R. Ward, Lover Enshrined

“From out of nowhere, she had an image of some poor human in a FedEx Office branch getting an eyeful and a half of the mostly naked fallen angel.

Without warning, she started to laugh so hard, tears came to her eyes. The good kind of tears, that was.

And as she gave herself up to the angel's ridiculousness, Lass just say there on the couch, staring up at "Melrose Place", a sly, quiet smile on his beautiful, deranged face.

What an angel he was, she thought to herself. A total angel.”
― J.R. Ward, Blood Kiss

“The guy was like part pro wrestler, part Toys "R" Us.”
― J.R. Ward, Blood Kiss

“Your Mama's so stupid"- Lassiter dematerialized and re-formed on the far side, spinning the rods- "she thinks a California dime is something you dial a phone with." ~ Lassiter

' The Shadows' page 11”
― JR WARD

“What the Hell happened to that angel,” Butch murmured.”It’s like he’s running out of battery strength.” Shaking his head, V went back to his phone. “Betty White did die. Maybe that’s why he’s in decline.”
― J.R. Ward, The Viper

“What the hell are you doing, waiting for your brain to show up?”
― J.R. Ward