Women Are Reacting To The 4B Movement — No Sex, No Marriage, And No Kids With Men Until Women Have Equal Rights — And They're Not Holding Back
Warning: This post contains a brief mention of rape.
The 4B movement — a feminist protest started by South Korean women — advocates for women to have equal rights under the law by refusing to date, marry, have sex, or birth children with men until their rights are equal.
After Donald Trump won reelection last week, exit poll data showed that 55% of men voted for Trump, despite his offensive rhetoric toward women, sexual abuse cases, and the overturning of Roe v. Wade. Many women online expressed anger and questioned what next steps could be taken to hold men accountable and ensure women's rights would be protected under another Donald Trump presidency — leading us to the viral 4B movement.
We recently asked women in the BuzzFeed Community to share their opinions on the 4B movement being used as a protest for American women and whether they believe it'd be a smart idea.
Over 500 women responded to our poll. 84% supported the 4B movement, while 11% believed it to be a bad idea.
Whether you agree or not, here's what 20 women had to say:
1."I think every woman in America should join the 4B movement — especially the wives and girlfriends of senators and representatives — until they come to their senses and put Roe v. Wade back and enshrine it into the Constitution."
—Anonymous
2."It's time for us to give back what we're getting. I completely agree with the 4B movement. As a Gen Z woman, it's disheartening and disgusting to see so many Gen Z men comment, 'Your body, my choice,' which would essentially be rape."
—Anonymous
3."I think the 4B movement is an overreaction. Why would women deprive themselves of their relationships simply as a response to a political election? I am 25, married for four months, and I can't imagine hurting my relationship with my husband — who is pro-woman — simply over an election. If women think that Republicans want to 'punish' them for being women, I think they need to rethink who is doing the 'punishing.' Women do it to themselves when they create arbitrary barriers."
—Anonymous
4."I will be starting the 4B movement in my house until my husband gets a vasectomy. My body and rights are more important than his pleasure."
—Anonymous
5."I love the idea. It's not illegal, so they can't stop us. They can't do anything, even though they'll try to control our bodies again. And when I say 'them,' I mean people like Trump. I'm 17 years old and scared for my future. I nearly threw up when my abortion rights were taken away. This is what we need to prove that we have a voice and a choice."
—Anonymous
6."It's a movement that has gone viral, and everyone will have forgotten about it in two months. There was a similar movement when Roe v. Wade was overturned, and it disappeared very quickly."
—Anonymous
7."Unfortunately, words will not resonate with men, only actions. If we hit them where it counts, perhaps their eyes will open. A friend of mine had someone comment that we all, as humans in America, have the same rights. I asked him sincerely to explain what he meant. He did the typical male response of turning it back on me and asking for an example of how it is not the same. I asked him if he went to his doctor saying he wanted a vasectomy, would his doctor ask him multiple times if he was sure, or would it be fairly easy to schedule? Most men just have no concept of what life is like as a woman."
"Many simply because they are male and have not faced the fears and challenges themselves. Some because they are just plain ignorant and don't care. Though we have come far in our country, we still have so far to go, especially now, when we will likely take some considerable steps backward over the next four years and then have to regain ground."
—Anonymous
8."I like the idea in theory, but it also feels like it could be setting us up to enter a real-life Handmaid's Tale. That society was built in response to not only misogyny but a declining birth rate as well. I think the country and its leaders may just be too dangerous for this to be effective."
—Anonymous
9."I learned about this movement a few years ago and am in total support of it here in America. We obviously can't depend on men to protect us, so we have to protect ourselves. I’m worried about the potential increases in violence against women; if this movement really takes hold, we are out of options. We have to take a stand. There's nothing else to do."
—Anonymous
10."Look, do what you want, but the fearmongering has got to stop. The 4B movement is ridiculous because you're going to stop having babies while conservative women continue to. You are just depriving your party of future voters while the other side will have plenty."
—Anonymous
11."Hours following the election, this was the first thing I thought of. Separate from the internet, from social media, it was the first thought I had myself. To see that so many other women also had the same idea is so heartwarming and inspiring. And to the men who say 'like they have a choice,' they'll quickly learn how easy it is for women to defend themselves, as you gave us access to self-defense items and weapons and classes and, best of all — guns."
—Anonymous
12."I think it's clear that women are angry, and that anger should propel us to do whatever we need to in order to support other women in our community. This is especially important for women of color and trans women. I'm a bisexual woman married to a heterosexual man, and I see the privilege in my situation and know that I am more protected than so many others. What this election has taught me is that men are scared; they're scared of what we are able to accomplish when we band together."
"I support women doing whatever it is they need to do to feel safe and connected, and I hope that more of these movements come about and that we continue to build that community and share resources so that we can support each other over the next four years. I'm scared, and I know so many others are, too. Not all of us are going to survive the next four years."
—Anonymous
13."The stupidest thing I've ever heard in my life, and I am a woman! I proudly voted for Trump. This is so stupid and only makes women look weak. Good luck to anyone who thinks this will actually make an impact."
—Anonymous
14."As a broke college student in Texas, I think this is great! I will be practicing it for now, and I hope it catches on. My mom thinks it should go a step further: If abortion is going to be illegal and fetuses are considered children, paternity tests need to be mandated for every pregnancy, and when the father is determined, he has to start paying child support right away, even before the birth and all the way until age 18. Men need to start suffering the consequences of treating women like mere sex objects and baby makers. My only concern is that this movement will cause a rise in incels and violence against women."
—Anonymous
15."I just had a baby with my husband a month ago. He has already called his doctor to get a vasectomy scheduled. He is disgusted by what is happening and fears for my safety and bodily autonomy. I am all for the 4B movement. I am so concerned for others out there who are surrounded by men who do not respect them. I am aware how lucky I am to have a man that was not one of the 55% that voted for Trump."
—Anonymous
16."I'm the mother of an 8-year-old boy, and I just don't know how that can mesh with the 4B movement. If you're telling women to disengage with men, then how do we raise the young men that already exist to not hate women more if we're telling women to essentially separate completely from men."
—Anonymous
17."I think the 4B movement will be good because it will show how harmful this right-wing rape culture is. I live in a red state, and I am so fucking scared. The day after, I was bombarded on my socials with messages from men I did not know and was told, 'Your body, my choice.' I am single and will stay single until I date someone who respects my body and my life. I am not some sex object to be used. I am so tired of being scared to be a woman, especially one who's trying to find herself. Why are men allowed to make jokes like this and get off with no consequences? It shouldn't be normalized, and it needs to be fixed."
—Anonymous
18."If this is what it takes to make people listen, then hell yeah. But the pushback and threats that women will receive because of this makes it more dangerous. Unfortunately, I'm unsure if we can find a middle zone."
—Anonymous
19."You guys are acting like he's making everything illegal, but he's just leaving it up to the states. He is also planning on making IVF more affordable. If anything, it will be easier to have a family for those who want that choice as well. The way things have been going is promoting no children recently, and even our infertility rates have been going up. That is really sad, especially for those of us who want children."
—Anonymous
And finally...
20."I'm a woman of 67, and I chose not to have children, had my tubes tied at 26, and haven't looked back. A year out of an abusive marriage, and did deny my husband sex due to his constant accusations of adultery and inability to be responsible for his words and actions. The fact we're still having to deal with this crap is indicative of (seemingly) the message not getting through to their obviously thick skulls."
—Anonymous
Let us know your thoughts in the comments below.
Responses have been edited for length/clarity.
