Am I In a Situationship?

Take this quiz to get a read on your relationship!

Ever find yourself looking at that special someone and wondering, “What are we?” You might be in a situationship, and we’re here to help you figure that out!

Just answer these 12 quick questions, and we’ll tell you where you stand. Of course, we don’t know you or your situation personally, but we can help you get a read on your romance and figure out your next steps!

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Questions Overview

1. If someone were to ask you if you're single right now, what would you say?
  1. I'm not sure what I'd say.
  2. I'm seeing someone, but it’s not exclusive.
  3. I am single.
  4. No, I'm not single. I have a partner.
2. Do you feel confused about what the relationship is, or worry about defining the relationship?
  1. Yes, I have no idea what to call the relationship! Or if it’s even a “relationship.”
  2. I don’t really worry about putting labels on anything. We’re just having fun!
  3. We’re definitely together, but sometimes I do wonder what “together” even means…
  4. Nah, I’m confident that we’re in a committed relationship, and don’t ever worry about what to call it.
3. Do you ever talk about the future with each other?
  1. No, not really.
  2. Sometimes, but only vaguely.
  3. Yes, but our visions for the future don't really align.
  4. Yes, and we talk about being together in the future.
4. Have you met their friends or family? And have they met yours?
  1. No, neither of us has met each other's friends or family.
  2. I've met their circle, but they haven't met mine.
  3. They've met my circle, but I haven't met theirs.
  4. Yes, we've both met each other's friends and family.
5. Do either of you also see other people?
  1. I'm not sure.
  2. Yes, and we both like it that way!
  3. Only one of us sees other people.
  4. No, we're exclusive.
6. How long have you been seeing each other?
  1. Less than 6 months
  2. 6 months - 1 year
  3. 1 year - 2 years
  4. 2+ years
7. How often do you see them?
  1. It's not really consistent. For some stretches of time, I see them often. Then for other stretches, I hardly ever see them.
  2. About 1-2 times a week.
  3. About 1-2 times a month.
  4. About every day.
8. Is your relationship more physical or emotional?
  1. I'm not sure. It's hard to say.
  2. More physical. We touch and kiss, but don't really talk about emotional things.
  3. More emotional. We talk about personal things, but don't really touch or kiss.
  4. A mix of both. We touch, kiss, and often talk about personal things.
9. Do you go to events together, like parties, weddings, or other important celebrations?
  1. Sometimes, but mostly casual things like parties. Not anything like a wedding.
  2. No, we never go to events together.
  3. Yes, but we don't really go as "a couple." We're just... together.
  4. Yes, we're always each other's plus one!
10. Are you still on dating apps?
  1. Yes, I still browse apps like Tinder or Hinge, and they don't know.
  2. Yes, but they know I am, and don't really care.
  3. No, but I've never been on dating apps.
  4. No, I'm not on dating apps anymore.
11. Do you post about each other on social media?
  1. No, we don't post about each other.
  2. I post about them, but I keep it vague. No names or photos or anything.
  3. I don't really have social media.
  4. Yes, and we tag each other or post pictures together.
12. Have they ever said they wanted a serious relationship?
  1. No, and they said they mostly want something casual.
  2. I'm not sure, or I don't remember.
  3. No, they've never said what they want.
  4. Yes, they've said that before.

All About Situationships

What Is a Situationship?
A situationship is a sort of undefined romantic relationship. You’re not partners or dating, but you’re definitely more than friends. You might be friends with benefits, except you haven’t really talked about the boundaries that come with that sort of relationship. You also don’t know if you should still be seeing other people, or if you have a future together. It’s like relationship purgatory. The romantic gray area. The situationship!

Signs You’re In a Situationship

  • You haven’t put a label on the relationship.
  • You’re not really sure if you’re still single.
  • You don’t really feel like you can confide in them.
  • Your communication is inconsistent.
  • They’re not your plus-one to big events.
  • There are other romantic interests still in the mix.
  • You haven’t met each other’s family or friends.
  • You’re not really intimate in public.
  • You don’t talk about your future together.
  • They say they’re not looking for anything serious.

What to Do if You’re In a Situationship
If a situationship is, by definition, a hazy gray area in a romance, then the best thing to do is to communicate and be open and honest. That way, you’ll know exactly where you stand, and where to go from there.

Find a quiet moment where you’re both in a good headspace, then pop the question. Be gentle and patient. Say something like, “I really care about you and want to spend more time with you, but I’m not sure what sort of relationship this is.” Ask them if they want a committed relationship, or if they want it to be more casual and without labels.

Whatever their answer, the choice to continue the relationship or not is up to you. You might choose to end it in order to find someone who will commit (and trust us, there are plenty of people out there!), or you might choose to just ride it out and have fun. You can always bail later, if you do find someone else.

In any case, take the opportunity to set some boundaries. For example, are both of you allowed to see other people? Can you link up with each other’s friends? Or do you want to keep your lives more separate? Establishing boundaries and answering these questions might not make you “official,” but at least you won’t be in a situationship anymore, and you’ll know exactly where you stand.

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Reader Success Stories

  • Kimberly D.

    Kimberly D.

    Aug 21

    "It put a few things in order for my crazy brain."
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