Turnip Boy Robs a Bank Review: This Is a Carrot Stick-Up! (Switch)

Do ya’ll remember the “Yoshi Commits Tax Fraud” meme that was super popular a few years back? Pepperidge Farm remembers, and so do I. I don’t know if Turnip Boy Commits Tax Evasion, the first game in this series, was inspired by that meme, but that’s the assumption I’ve always gone with. It is one of those things that feels right, even if it probably isn’t true, like most conspiracy theories. That assumption is also why the sequel, Turnip Boy Robs A Bank came to my attention. I never played the first game, but this sequel immediately grabbed my attention based on the title alone.

Whatever his origin may be, Turnip Boy is back in a brand new adventure of crime and wacky hijinx. There’s a massive bank full of loot and mysteries, and it’s up to Turnip Boy to rob it blind. Does Turnip Boy manage to make out like a bandit, or is he a naughty boy who belongs in jail?

Turnip Boy Robs A Bank is available now on Nintendo Switch, Xbox One and Steam for $14.99.

Story: Exactly What It Says on the Tin

How many games can you think of where the title is an exact description of what happens in the game? The only other one that immediately springs to mind is the infamous Awesome Possum Kicks Dr. Machino’s Butt. In that game, (spoiler warning for the worst Sonic knockoff ever), you play as Awesome Possum, and the ending has you literally kick Dr. Machino’s butt. Turnip Boy Robs A Bank has you play as Turnip Boy, and the game has you literally rob a bank. He joins a team of many different and colorful people in a world populated by sentient fruits and vegetables. Turnip Boy fights to claim the mysterious motherlode from the bank’s owner, an evil onion named Stinky.

The game’s story, as sparse as it is, gives me a lot of Adventure Time vibes, with the post-apocalyptic backstory and a narrative that manages to be earnest and emotional at times despite how utterly insane and off the wall it is. It’s driven by its characters rather than any sort of grand overarching plot, as you encounter the many strange creatures that call the bank home, some friendly, and others not. When Turnip Boy isn’t gunning down cops, he can help these people in their struggles. From helping people find love to dabbling in illegal substances, Turnip Boy is a hero to all.

Stinky is a big greedy man who totally sucks and I hate him.

Humor is a very subjective thing in games, but I found Turnip Boy to be an incredibly funny game. The game’s cast of characters is memorable and bounces off of Turnip Boy very well. The game makes fun of the idea of a silent protagonist, with Turnip Boy just endlessly smiling at everything people say to him, and everyone claiming that Turnip Boy is an insightful conversation partner.

Gameplay: A Bumper Crop of Crimes

If you’re a fan of the first Turnip Boy game, you’ll notice right away that there’s been a major shift in genre. The first game was a Zelda-like, with a grand world to explore and light puzzle solving. Turnip Boy Robs a Bank, by comparison, is an overhead twin-stick shooter with the very lightest of roguelike elements. There’s nothing inherently wrong with a genre swap like this, but Turnip Boy doesn’t translate perfectly to a shooter. 

The cops are all made of food. Turnip Boy cannot eat them, sadly.

The core shooting action itself is very solid thankfully. It’s hardly the deepest combat I’ve seen in an overhead shooter, but combat is consistently fun and engaging. Variety is another strong aspect of the game’s combat, with dozens of enemies and a vast arsenal of weapons. You can use guns that shoot needles, fireworks, or money, throw explosive fruit, or use a gun that shoots flowers that fire bullets. The weapon variety reminds me a lot of Enter The Gungeon, which is very much a positive. 

Why Is This a Roguelite?

Turnip Boy Robs a Bank thinks it’s a roguelite, something that I feel hurts it. In every run, you must traverse through the bank, stealing everything, unlocking new areas, and escaping before an incredibly strict three-minute timer elapses. After each run is complete, you head back to the safehouse to buy permanent upgrades to make future runs easier. The roguelike elements change basically nothing, as the core layout of the bank is identical across each run. The only difference I noticed between runs is that the placement of side rooms are different. Most of those side rooms are plot-critical areas with fixed layouts anyway. The roguelike elements contribute nothing to the game, and it’d probably be better if they were just removed outright. 

You’ll see this same office block a half-dozen times before the game is over.

Your progress will constantly be interrupted by some random obstacle that blocks your way forward. Whether it’s a Pickaxe to break your way through statues, a lantern to see in dark areas, or a Foodfolk Separator to break apart a massive wall of Foodfolk, the solution is always the same. You’re supposed to head back to the safehouse, buy what you need from the black market, and then head back into the bank to clear the obstacle, where you inevitably find another obstacle further inside. It’s blatant padding, as the game would probably be beaten in just three or four hours without it. Even with it, the game is short and quite easy. I never had much trouble until the finale, even on the harder skill level.

The first game had items that gave Turnip Boy a lot of puzzle-solving capabilities. Sadly, Turnip Boy’s capabilities here remain completely unchanged from start to finish. He can run and shoot and dodge roll and that’s about it. I think keeping the puzzly aspects of the first game would have given the game some much-needed variety.

How do you think you get past this hamburger monster? If you guessed “Shoot at it until it dies” you’d be right.

Stumbling at the Finish Line

The finale totally blows btw. You have to run your way across the entirety of the bank, having to re-fight all of the game’s bosses in one run. Once that is done, you have to run through the bank a second time, only there are mountains of debris blocking your path, the game’s strongest enemies spawn infinitely, and an invincible monster chasing you with half a dozen different attacks that can kill Turnip Boy in three hits. In addition, you have to do all of this while the game is running so poorly that it feels like it’s about to crash. And when you do complete this phase, the game just sort of stops. No final boss, and no proper resolution for the game’s cast.

The game’s performance amazed me with how terrible it was. In all but the smallest and most contained rooms, the game suffers horrendous lag. The easiest place I saw this was in a re-occurring room filled with lasers. You have to fight through the room and turn off the lasers to break into the vault. The game lags horribly while in this room, but the moment you turn off the lasers, the game’s speed is seemingly doubled. The Switch should not be struggling to run this! Especially not because the game insists on running at a retro 4:3 aspect ratio with borders on the side. I at first wondered why this was the case, but maybe its just to help deal with the miserable performance.

So many items to buy, but they all might as well just be keys for all they do to enhance your moveset.

Graphics and Sound: Service With an Endless Smile

The game tries for a more retro aesthetic than its predecessor, with a charming pixel art aesthetic, thrown in with some retro 90’s aesthetics for good measure. Pixel art throwbacks are a dime a dozen these days, but Turnip Boy commits more to it than others. I’d argue that it perhaps commits a bit too much to a retro aesthetic, particularly with that 4:3 aspect ratio. Even prominent retro throwbacks like Shovel Knight, The Messenger, and Gravity Circuit use a modern 16:9 aspect ratio. 16:9 is an objectively better choice, as being able to see more of the play area is never a bad thing. The fact that the developers chose not to do this baffles me. 

I also take umbrage with the menu design. The menus are all displayed on a touchscreen phone, and when they aren’t restrictive in the amount of info they can display, they’re laggy, or flat-out non-functional. The quest menu would not scroll down no matter what I did. I’m all for diegetic menus, but this is a case where it didn’t quite work out. 

If you thought 4:3 was bad, wait until the third boss reduces your visibility even more with the power of memes.

The music is truly amazing, however, covering a wide variety of genres, is very well suited to the eccentric vibe this game has. You unlock more of them as you proceed further in the game, courtesy of a flaming super-death sword. Some of the game’s songs even have lyrics, an uncommon thing in a game like this. Sound design is also a plus, with a lot of unique touches. I especially like that, when you pick up a key item, you hear a voice shout “Congratulations”, which is just super charming.

Turnip Boy Robs A Bank was reviewed for Nintendo Switch using a key provided by Sandbox Strategies.