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Reviews
Triangle of Sadness (2022)
A film for people who think incoherent=clever
Ok, sure. Instagram isn't life. Rich people can be obnoxious. Servants are people with feelings. But this film is puerile and unfocused. There wasn't a single character I felt any sympathy for -- not even Abigail (who, when she gets her turn, is as petty as everyone else). And does anyone really need to watch 15 minutes of vomiting? Sure, there were a few great lines and moments. (The British couple and the hand grenade were almost worth sitting through the entire film for.) But mostly this was undisciplined, self-indulgent ranting. I can see why some people felt the need to say out loud that they liked it, but did they really?
The Pale Blue Eye (2022)
OMG this is boring and stupid
Why in the world did Netflix treat this a movie with award potential? And why did such terrific actors as Gillian Anderson and Christian Bale think this was something they wanted to be associated with? Money, I suppose. The plot is terrible. The pacing is sepulchral. The score is laughably overwrought. And why are so many roles in a movie set in 19th century New York filled by British actors -- especially ones who can't do a very good accent? This is one hot mess. So why two stars? Well, some credit for being atmospheric, and at least Christian Bale manages to act as if this is worth his time and talent.
This Is Going to Hurt (2022)
Very mixed feelings
On the one hand, this is a really well made series in many ways, with some superb actors. I was completely hooked from the start. But in the end, I felt that was mostly down to the always astonishing Ben Whishaw. Two things that I thought were major flaws kept me from giving this a higher rating:
1) The relationship between Adam and Harry makes no sense. Nothing we see explains why Harry thinks Adam is so right for him. Adam is always absent, physically or emotionally. They appear to have nothing in common at all. And Adam is plainly unwilling to be open about the relationship. I just never got it.
2) Adam was a horrible human being. He was a bully, a narcissist, even something of a monster. He should have been struck off. Tracy was right to file a complaint. My only criticisms are that she chose to be anonymous and that more people didn't file complaints as well. I think the show was suggesting that he was redeemed, when for example he stopped himself bullying Al and was nice to him. I didn't buy it. Not one bit. That being the case, it didn't sit well with me to make him seem at the end like the good guy and somehow worthy of our approval.
Testament of Youth (2014)
Superficial and unaffecting
Compressing Brittain's long book this violently removes the character development and with it much of the emotional involvement. The narrative is choppy and unfocused, and it does some serious violence to the truth of what actually happened to the four men Brittain writes about. Such a pity. What saves it is a great, great cast who do their best with the feeble material.
Spider-Man: No Way Home (2021)
Some truly inspired bits
Parts are sappy (the soundtrack is the worst) but the script is well above average for the genre. It's not "Black Panther" but it's far better than most. Tom Holland is and will probably always be the best Spiderman, but it was a fantastic idea to bring all 3 of them together and the multiple-Spiderman bits were the best parts of the movie.
Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness (2022)
BORING!
Action a-plenty, dazzling effects -- but basically no plot, terrible dialog, and totally botched half-hearted attempts at humor. The longest 2 hours I've experienced in ages.
Osmosis (2019)
Not great but watchable
First, note that lots of the bad reviews are from people who only watched one or two episodes. That's unfair. Listen to those who watched the whole thing, then decide.
The writing is mediocre, and the plot thin, but this is interesting enough to stick with for the 5+ hours it takes to watch all 8 episodes. It's an interesting premise, if not incredibly original, and the production values are fairly good. Watch it for mindless entertainment.
Landscapers (2021)
Lead actors are the best part
I'm genuinely not a fan of Olivia Coleman, but she is brilliant in this, capturing Susan's many and complex emotions beautifully and making Susan very sympathetic. David Thewlis is always good, and he doesn't disappoint here. The production itself is quirky, with a lot of very strange tactics ( no spoilers) to try to make it stand out from conventional docudramas and make it more like Fargo. I didn't find them all that successful but they didn't get in the way either. The series runs to about 3 hours, and could have been tighter. There's a lot of repetition. But the acting makes it very watchable.
Toy Boy (2019)
Magic Mike, Dynasty, and The Sopranos had a Spanish baby
This show is oddly addictive. The subtitle translations are terrible and the English dub isn't much better, but this isn't a show you watch for the writing (or acting). It's just silly escapist fun.
Loki: Lamentis (2021)
B+ Only
So far I love everything about this series but this episode was disappointing -- compared to the first two. Still better than 99% of what's out there. It felt like there was about 10 minutes of actual plot and character development in this very short episode. And an absurd amount of running around and things blowing up.
Cats (2019)
Wow, the haters are actually right.
I didn't think that Cats could really be as bad as the reviews said. It isn't. It's worse. Unspeakable. And not even the sort of bad that can be fun to watch. Painful. The dancing cockroaches may be the most appalling thing I've ever seen in a movie.
Bridgerton (2020)
Ignore the shade
Ignore the idiots complaining about historical inaccuracies and color-blind casting. I don't want to write spoilers, so I'll just say that they clearly didn't watch episode 3. This is not a show for people who want serious historical drama. It's just good romantic fun.
The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug (2013)
Insult to Tolkien's book
The first movie in the trilogy deviated from the book, but at least felt based on it. This movie tossed the central chapters of the book into the trash in order to create more action and conflict, and have more elves (and orcs, who aren't even mentioned in the relevant chapters).
Jongens (2014)
Sweet but unoriginal, cliched
Given the reviews, I expected to be far more impressed. This is a sweet coming-of-age film, but utterly predictable. The writing is mediocre, the editing terrible. The young actors are appealing -- really the best thing about it. But they don't get much to do. There's almost no character development. We never know who they are, why they do what they do, etc. Too bad.
The New Legends of Monkey (2018)
Such fun
This show is really silly but it is so much fun. It's really entertaining, in a sort of Xena way.
Parked (2010)
Grim, moving
I'm a huge fan of Colin Morgan, which is why I watched this. He's brilliant, as is Colm Meaney. The story is really bleak but very watchable. Mercifully, it's only 90 minutes! Worth watching for fans of these actors or of indie Irish films, but it won't be everyone's cup of tea.
Bright Star (2009)
Beautiful but boring
Yes, it's beautiful to look at, but.... First, Abby Cornish and Ben Whishaw have ZERO chemistry, which is sort of a problem for a love story. A lot of the Romantic poets led dramatic lives that would make engaging biopics. But this is just tiresome.
The Child in Time (2017)
Good books don't necessarily make good movies
Many of the critical reviews are fair. Ian McEwen's book just doesn't translate into a screenplay very well. It's just not constructed that way. I'd still recommend it for Benedict Cumberbatch's great (as usual) performance.
Beecham House (2019)
One star is generous
Other reviews say it all: cliches galore, wooden acting. If this had been made in 1980, I could understand. But, seriously, it's 2020. Haven't we moved on from this orientalist, condescending rubbish?
Ad Astra (2019)
Slow ripoff of Apocalypse Now
Slow and pretentious. It thought it was original but it felt like I'd seen it before. Some of the scenes and the general vibe were so Apocalypse Now, without the whacked-out genius of that classic. The only saving grace: Brad Pitt. He gets better with age.
The Plot Against America (2020)
Ruined a great book
To make a heavy-handed critique of current events, the people behind this miniseries ruined one of the great novels of the past 25 years. Read the book. Skip this overwrought mess. And vote in November.
Collateral (2018)
Bad writing, ridiculous characters
How did David Hate sink to this level? Dreadful, cliched writing. Characters who make no sense. Carey Mulligan is wonderful in service of a plot and script that doesn't deserve her.
The Pale Horse (2020)
Incoherent
A lot of reviewers were upset about how different this is from the book. I don't care about that, and will tend to evaluate shows like this on their own merits. Two stars may be slightly generous. This is a mess -- incoherent, choppy -- and thoroughly unengaging. I only finished it because it was only 2 hours, and I'm self-quarantining during COVID-19.
Marriage Story (2019)
Great acting but...
I hated literally every character and the whole thing made me glad I never got married.
The Hollow Crown: Henry VI Part 2 (2016)
Richard III, Part I
So much better than the previous episode! It's not one of Shakespeare's better efforts, and the edits make some of the characters do odd things, but it is entertaining. I have two casting quibbles. Tom Sturridge's Henry is just bizarre. Fortunately, he spends a lot of the play off stage! George Streatfeild is a good actor, but Edward IV was famously tall and gorgeous. Streatfeild just doesn't capture the charisma and dash of Edward. Why would anyone follow him?