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The 50 Worst Science Fiction movies I've ever seen
75 of the WORST SF, Horror and Monster movies I've ever Seen!
Some of the best Animated Series and Shorts
Reviews
Night of the Living Dead: 30th Anniversary Edition (1999)
Those involved with this should be ashamed
So Russo had the brilliant idea to make a classic film 'better'. Well he and the crew failed in every single way possible. Debbie Rochon and Vladmir whatever can't act worth a damn. I mean really, really terrible acting here. The 'new' footage which brings in the power of god keeping one from becoming a zombie not only doesn't match the original (which, the one thing they did right: remaster it) and is worthless. These two overacting hams have enough pork in them to feed a High School at lunchtime! Horrible, horrible waste of time. And, I'll admit: When I read about this in Rue Morgue and Cinefantastique, I was excited! I really wanted to see this and, like a doof, I bought it! I later gave it away, a decision I'll never regret. Just another horrible in a series of horrible remakes.
Night of the Animated Dead (2021)
Ignore the bad reviews. Here's an honest review.
First, I've been watching the original, beautiful, brilliant Night of the Living dead since I saw it a Halloween Spook Show in 1970. To this day, it was the only movie (I was 9 at the time) that frightened me. I didn't watch it again for ten years. Now? Now I own the Criterion edition and watch it all the time. Of all the remakes made, only the 1990 and this are worth my time. The others; the 30th Anniversary Russo led abomination and the 3D version are, like the other remakes of Romero's works, trash. This was worth seeing. While yes, the animation is barely above the level of say, Filmation studios (see Star Trek the Animated Series), the voice acting is adequate, and they really upped the gore factor. Tom and Judy face particularly gruesome ends BEFORE they get roasted! So, is this a masterpiece? No. Few remakes (and I hate nearly all remakes) are. But it is fun and worth a view.
The Primevals (2023)
46 Years later...
I remember purchasing the issue of Cinefantastique (sadly gone, but the best magazine of its time for fans looking for information on science fiction, fantasy and horror films. Unlike Starlog, an apologist magazine for Star Trek and Fangoria, an updated version of Famous Monsters without the charm, a truly great magazine) that had the Primevals on the cover. Having grown up on Ray Harryhausen, Willis O'Brien and the classic films of the Fifties like The Land Unknown and the 70's The Land Time Forgot, I've always loved lost civilizations movies. I waited years and years for this (like the never finished Conan animated film, Red Nails) and finally thought it would never come out. Kudo's to Charles Band for finally completing the long deceased Dave Allan's movie. Honestly, it was only partially worth the wait. The story really doesn't make sense, the aliens remind me of the ones from Laser Blast, and the acting could have been better. Still, the stop motion, beautiful and smooth (though, like all Stop Motion, clearly models moved by a human), is worth it. I liked the little homage to King Kong (recognized when it's seen), and I felt bad at one scene near the end (I won't give it away), but a little more effort would have turned this from a curiosity into one of the best Full Moon movies ever. Still, it was better than Snyders justice league abomination.
Hellboy: The Crooked Man (2024)
Time to stop now.
The 2019 version, as bad as that was, is far better than this. So what's wrong with it? Lemme think a second. Oh, that's right, everything about this is terrible. From the weak directing, to the poorly written story, the silly amateurish camera work. Everything is horrible. The worst thing of all? The absolutely, most terrible, mind numbingly bad thing of all, other than the slow pace (99 minutes feels like 3 hours), the thing that makes this horribly beyond human comprehension? The actor playing Hellboy. He's like Hellboy light. No bulk to him, no humor in his delivery of lines, nothing hellboy about him in any way. Where'd they find this guy? In a bus stop? Greeting at Walmart? Just one terrible waste of time.
The Flesh Eaters (1964)
An Unsung Great
From the beginning where two people swimming are the first victims of the Flesheaters, this is one great Science Fiction/Monster hybrid. Very entertaining, it was written and produced by two comic book writer/artists, Jim Curtis and Arnold Drake (known famously for the original and great, Doom Patrol). Featuring Martin Koslek as a mad Nazi scientist (are there any other kind?) continuing his horrible experiments in one celled flesh eating monsters! Pretty violent for its time, the footage of the Nazis experimenting on mostly naked women was added four years later when this hit the drive-in circuit. I've seen both version and have no preference, they're both super entertaining. This little gem is better than anything the Asylum ever pumped out. In fact, if that production company would say, take the money from five of their worthless direct to DVD 'efforts' they might make something as good as this!
The Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power: Shadow and Flame (2024)
Final Attempt at a review
Over at Amazon, I'm banned from reviewing anything. They claim I violated their standards. I say I was honest. I didn't use foul language, nor did I name names when I gave a product a bad review. Let's move on. This will be the last attempt I make at reviewing anything on IMDB. This show is not only an insult to Tolkien, it doesn't even work at being Fan Fiction. Why do I say this? First, Sauron is a Maia. He isn't building a body. He has a body. It doesn't get destroyed until the fall of Numenor. And even then, he still reformed, but he could never appear fair again. He wasn't a shapeshifter and Galadriel wasn't hunting him down. They were foes, battling with their minds. The elf who's girlfriend died - his HUMAN girlfriend, is a total fantasy within a poorly written fantasy. Only three times have elves and humans been involved, and this show isn't one of them. Why is Gandalf there 1,500 years too soon? And he's another maia, an angelic being. He certainly doesn't need to be trained by Tom Bombadil, who only exists in the books to appease Tolkien's daughter! He's not an important character and, if the people writing this, read the books, they'd realize it. Finally, halflings, periannath, hobbits, whatever, play NO PART in the second age! None a all! Zip. Zero. Nil. Nada. Hobbits live unnoticed, hiding and remaining apart from the other races of Middle-Earth, even the Ents never heard of them! Until the Third age. Well, since this will never see the light of day, I'm stopping. This is a terrible show and an insult to Tolkiens works.
The Walking Dead: Daryl Dixon: La Gentillesse des Étrangers (2024)
I can't be the only one...
Who feels its time for AMC to let the Walking Dead walk off into syndication. The original show started going downhill in season 9. They let way too many characters walk and then return. Let's look at the sequel series a moment; The World Beyond was simply horrible from the first second. The kids didn't look like they could survive a day at the mall. Dead City-really? Why would anyone remain on the island of Manhattan with what, 2 million walkers? The entire story was contrived. The Ones Who Live was dumber than The World Beyond. How, fifteen years into the apocalypse, are they still getting gasoline? How come rubber tires haven't rotted? For that matter, doesn't weather take it's toll on the zombies? Why no mention of the Nuclear explosions from the entirely stupid Fear the Walking Dead (another loser). I like Carol. I like that she redefined herself as a deadly person. But this episode; we're expected to believe someone found a beechcraft, rebuilt it with 'some manuals' and taught themselves to fly? That's really pulling at the belief factor, in fact, its similar to some lunatic surviving the apocalypse and being able to reprogram nuclear missiles from a submarine thrown ASHORE from a hurricane (and showing no damage to the exterior). That he'll free Carol and after ten minutes of conversation, become her friend and fly this tiny plane across the ocean to france? A lot of problems here; why didn't he have mechanical locks on his hideout? That whole electrical locks was just beyond silly. The best part of the episode was Carol's PTSD over Sophia. While the episode was ok, this is following the same silly ideas from the other series; lazy writing and shortcuts. Are the interns writing these now? I can't explain why I'm still watching except many other shows are worse! These continuing spin-offs are as bad as the ones Marvel is pumping out. But, as long as people watch, AMC will continue.
Alien: Romulus (2024)
Please stop destroying this franchise.
To date; there have been two GREAT Alien Movies. Alien and Aliens. Two OK Alien movies. Alien 3 (Directors cut only) and Alien: Resurrection. I'm not going to mention the absolutely HORRIBLE Prometheus and Covenant, but I will say this about Alien: Romulus. There isn't an original idea in this entire movie. They took bits from the other alien movies - even the ends of Alien and Alien 2, added in a bunch of non-characters who are there just to be killed. Robbed Ripley's Alien Fighter Shoe for the 'heroine' and just went with it. The direction and writing are blase, the alien is, well, we've seen the aliens before. The final Alien/Human hybrid (SEE: ALIEN-RESURRECTION) is ugly and creepy, but it's been done before! I'm still trying to figure out how and why a human would call a repurposed synthetic her brother. And why does a synthetic have to be placed in cryo-suspension? They aren't alive. The 'hero' rain, puts herself in cryo and it's EXACTLY THE SAME AS RIPLEY IN ALIEN! How did this even get greenlit? How did it make so much money? Why is there going to be an Alien TV series? YOU MAKE THE CALL!
That's a Wrap (2023)
Sigh. Sigh. Sigh.
You know how some people say "Somewhere in the movie there's a good one waiting to get out?" Not here. Not in any way at all. Cliche after cliche. Horrible acting for the most part. Weak special effects. There is a bit of full frontal, but that didn't help keep me interested. It's another 'OH LOOK! A killer in a mask stalking people!' As usual with these (see NEARLY EVERY SINGLE SLASHER MOVIE EVER MADE) people keep disappearing and NO ONE SEEMS TO NOTICE. Here are a ton of Spoilers. First we have the professional 'actress' who is not afraid to get nude! (She dies first. Stabbed to death in the shower, her intestines (fake looking) yanked out. No one Notices, thinking she went home. The Virginal one, who wants to know how one gets nude in front of the camera! Dies having sex while spelling out all the nasty words. Gets a nail gun to the back of the head. She's hanging on the wall from ONE NAIL, blood coming out of her eyes and mouth. Her paramour gets shot in the back and has his head squished by a sledge hammer. The gay couple, a white guy and a black dude plan to meet in SECRET. The white guy gets his throat sliced open and bleeds all over (a so-so effect), while his friend, a total stoner (he rolls some big doobies!) decided to self-pleasure while waiting. Well, his favorite organ (so fake looking) gets sliced off. He looks at it in his hand, decides not to stop the bleeding, has one more toke and dies. I could go on, but I'll say this. The killings are weak. The ending is silly. Is this worth 90 minutes of your life? Probably not. Pretty sure the positive reviews are from cast and crew. It's your choice but, I wish I hadn't seen it.
Stay Close (2021)
Stay Away is more like it.
Weak. Lame. Boring. Convoluted. Silly. All of these and more fill this. Eight hours of absolutely foolish story telling. Incredibly dumb events. Not one likeable character. Some of the dumbest police ever released onto an unsuspecting public. The characters lie to one another, there's a murderous couple who look like mannequins and are, until the plot demands it, are uncatchable. The story bounces from plot point to plot point silliness to silliness all the while dragging this story out. It could have been told in 2 hours, but instead got draaaaaagggggggeeeeedddd out to 8. I've never read any Harlan Corben and, after this, I likely won't. Oh, and the final twist? Right out of left field!
Rust Creek (2018)
Waste of time...
So the production company, to help women in film, made sure all the important parts were filled by women. That's a noble idea. Know what isn't? Giving these women a tepid story that's been told 1000 times before, a weak cast since not one person was believable in their roles, another 100 pound woman taking on, defeating and escaping two larger-one WAY larger men. Why did the meth maker protect her? That wasn't clear. The Deputy was a dunce. The two geeks chasing her were caricatures of every single dang southern character ever. The plot was weak with glaringly stupid plot holes. Sometimes Netflix shows a winner and others times it shows trash like this. HORRIBLE isn't even the word for this mess. Just a waste.
Live Evil (2009)
Trash beyond belief
Let's see. The one positive of this absolutely terrible movie (I think the other two reviews are by relatives or stoners) is Tim Thomerson. Now Tim's been in some good movies; Zone Troopers, the first Trancers, and some horrible movies like every single Trancers sequel, all of which are made, like this, on a ten dollar budget. While this isn't as bad as the pap the Asylum grinds out, it's still really bad. Why? Well, the acting is atrocious. The SFX is extremely horrible and cheap (watch for the guy to get his head squashed, you'll be laughing hysterically). The story, what there is of it, is kind a rip off of Blade, but without any of the talent. If you watch this, just turn your brain off, ok?
Terminator Zero (2024)
Another franchise that should be allowed to die.
This was fairly lame. It's really time to allow the franchise to die out. The story was full of illogical plot holes. How can the human freedom fighter be able to stand toe to toe with a Terminator? The three kids are very annoying - a common problem with many Anime movies/series. The dialogue is weak an doesn't seem to support the story. How come all the Japanese police carry revolvers, a police side arm that virtually no police use today? This really needed some thought put into and it might have been good. Why always send a character and a terminator back in time when NO ONE has ever done the FUTURE WAR? I really hope this doesn't get a second season.
Planet Earth (1974)
Genesis II was superior
I like this, mostly because of John Saxon and Diana Muldaur. Honestly, the rest of the cast isn't that memorable. Gene once again gives a role to Majel, and Ted Cassidy is back. The Pax uniforms are the proto-types of Star Trek the Next Generation, which would premiere thirteen years later. There is no mention of Tyrannia (no surprise since Dylan blew it off the face of the earth in Genesis II by sabotaging their discovered nuclear weapon), the new villains are mutant humans called Kreeg. These are proto-klingons with their bumpy heads. They remind me of the inbred cannibals from virtually any cannibal movie; morons, but intelligent enough to keep vehicles and weapons running. This is ok, but it doesn't have the intelligence o Genesis II.
Genesis II (1973)
The better of the two.
Gene Roddenberry wasn't the most original idea man. In fact, he constantly lifted ideas from previous works. Does this make this bad? Not at all. Of the two (the second being Planet Earth), this is better. It's deeper in thought as a scientist awakes decades after a nuclear war has devastated and then changed earth-Dylan Hunt isn't necessarily a man of action, and is torn between Tyrannia (kind of a rip on a Marvel bad guy, Tyrannus-really the name should have given it away) and Pax (again, no subtlety here). The cast, featuring Alex Cord, Ted Cassidy and others is fine, as is the story. This would have made a great series as Hunt learns about the future earth he's been thrust into.
The Questor Tapes (1974)
A well done sci-fi
Gene Roddenberry could be called a 'one trick' pony. Fans of Star Trek will recognize Questor as a prototype of Data. This does Questor a disservice. This, along with Genesis II (and it's lesser follow up, Earth 2) and Spectre (which screams for a DVD release) are his best non-Star Trek ideas. This would have made a fine series, except NBC (as many producers do) demanded too many foolish changes. Robert Foxworth, who also showed up in Babylon 5 and Star Trek Deep Space Nine, is excellent as the android, Questor. Mike Farrell brings a nice touch of humanity as Jerry. Questor is seeking his creator, or, as it turns out, his predecessor. When he does, its quite thoughtful and interesting. Well worth seeing.
Xtro (1982)
Xtro! Xtro! Don't bother watching this!
I've seen a lot of bad movies. A lot! And this horrible rape fantasy fueled by (as told by the director) drugs, is worthless. A truly bad movie with no redeeming qualities other than Maryam D'Abo being naked. I recall seeing photos from this in Fangoria and thinking hey, this night be alright. Hoo doggy was I wrong! Terrible story. Terrible acting. Laughable sfx (I'm wondering if Warlock 2 swiped the death by pregnancy bit from this trash), the blood looked sauce from canned spaghetti. The only way this could make the Brits video nasties would be if someone (like me) in that nation, watched it. Just a horribly movie and, as a warning: Xtro 2 and 3... Are worse!
Arcadian (2024)
A dumber, more boring version of A Quiet Place
Ever watch a movie and say, dang! This is SO BORING. Or watch and say, dang! This is so stupid! Well, combine STUPID and BORING and you get this. Fifteen years earlier, there's an apocalyptic event. Of course, since this trash has virtually no budget-a problem with 99 percent of all apocalyptic movies made in the last two decades, we hear bits and see little. Supposedly this pandemic was released by the WORST looking monsters I've seen in a movie recently. They look the skeletons of horses covered in black papermache. I'm not going to blame Nic Cage. He's the only one in this crap who seems to try to act. The rest of the cast are bland stereotypes there to die. So at night, no one can go out, and the monsters try to get in. These horsey looking things that live under the earth. Question: If the monsters brought a virus, germ (its never made clear) whatever! Why did people survive? And why would one family, in the post-covid world, allow someone from another to make kissy face with their daughter? Well, this is really just a cheap version of A Quiet Place, which was also a terribly stupid movie.
Humanoids from the Deep (1980)
Not for Everyone
OK. Anyone who saw this and wonders how it ended up like this; the moment you saw ROGER CORMAN'S name on the film, you had to know it wasn't going to be an Oscar worthy movie. Has Corman made some trashy (including this) movies? Yes. Are they all terrible? No. Are they all exploitation films? YES! That's the man's bread and butter. EXPLOITATION. Other than the genetic scientific bs in this, it isn't really original an any way. It's basically an updated version of HORROR OF PARTY BEACH, which, honestly, is way more fun movie. Yes, a lot of after added nudity, since the monsters aren't human, how are they breeding with humans? I'll let that go by. This is a bit brutal for the average viewer, which I am not. So here's a warning: If you have ZERO sense of Humor and are totally oblivious to Roger Corman's entire oeuvre, move on. Don't even spend a minute watching this. If you're easily outraged, remember this is a movie not a documentary. Move on. Me, I have an odd sense of humor and I enjoyed this.
Solomon Kane (2009)
So the screenplay writers didn't read any Solomon Kane?
It certainly seems this way. Rather than waste your time watching this utterly reprehensible trash film, which has NOTHING to do with the works of one of the greatest pulp writers of all time, the man who, if he didn't create Sword and Sorcery, certainly gave it its heart, Robert E. Howard. Other than wearing dull clothing as proscribed by Puritans, this Kane is horrible. He's not going to hell. He wasn't covered in arcane tattoos. He was a man who sought out and battled evil. Do you understand this? SOUGHT OUT AND BATTLED EVIL. He wasn't fighting to save his corrupted soul. Yes, he admitted he was a flawed man, and that killing wasn't the right thing to do, but sometimes, evil needed killing. Avoid this at all costs.
Justice League: Crisis on Infinite Earths - Part Three (2024)
A Poor ending to an unnecessary trilogy
My first question is; did the writers even read the comic? Supergirl as Harbinger? John Constantine destroyed an earlier Darkseid? Who approved this trash? Hopefully (and I'll wait until I see some product) James Gunn ruling over the DC Universe will prove to be better than this last batch. I've liked most of DC Animated, but they've gone really down hill with this. All three, if the long, boring, talking segments had been taken out, this would have barely been one movie. The ending was truly terrible. Using the Legion's wish machine was a poor way to end this entire thing. The Question's death was the one thing I approve of because he'd do just that. I hope the next animated movie or series will be better.
Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan (1989)
Waste of everything.
Let's face it. After 3 you know the one where Jason starts killing everyone, not just white people and gets his mask? And 4, where Tom Savini came back to kill his creation, and counting all the sequels and remakes, the series should have stopped. The whole reason they got their notoriety wasn't the acting, directing or story-all of which were mundane and predictable, it was the gruesome, beautiful gore. After 4 the producers toned it down, basically ruining any interest. This one, with a fake title, had about 5 minutes of footage in Manhattan. Once again, a weak story that made zero sense, some of the worst directing and special effects ever put on celluloid and, as usual, forgettable characters. Pass on this trash!
The Acolyte (2024)
Could have been so much better
It seems that it's time for Kathleen Kennedy to go. I know, she's George's handpicked successor, but she's not doing that great a job. While I've enjoyed to varying degrees, all the other Star Wars live series, they've been created and worked on by those who were fans. Who is Leslye Headlund? A poor writer and creator by this series. The representation of the Jedi is poor. One Sith slaughters them all? Master Sol, one of my least favorite Jedi ever, an overly emotional man who allowed his emotions to overrule his common sense, and allowed a failed Jedi to choke him to death? He was that guilty at his actions or inactions? We're introduced to an entire bunch of Jedi, one of whom, Jekki, became a fan favorite, only to have them ALL killed? These aren't the Jedi I'm used to. Too Political. I didn't like Venestra from the first moment she spoke. And Indara couldn't stop two knives? Why didn't she use her lightsaber to block one, and the force to stop the other? The Wookie Jedi was virtually a waste of time. We never find out who the stranger is, and honestly, I no longer care. The poor reception killed any chance of having a second season. Amandla can really play that violin, but she needs some acting lessons before she gets another role. She was quite stiff as were the kids playing the younger versions. The disjointed story telling, which really should have been edited by someone with more Star Wars experience, barely held my interest. There were some good light saber duels, which were the highlight of the entire series. And why did the little Rat Guy stop Sol from catching Mae? That was out of left field. The senate beginning to distrust the Jedi, which plays right into Palpatines hands in few decades, was a good point, but it was too little, too late. The little Yoda bit at the end was a nice cameo, but wouldn't he have had a part to play earlier, being a Grandmaster? Quite a few plot holes and two episodes 3,7 were the same story only a little more fleshed out. So, it gets a four and most episodes get a four. The weakest of the Star Wars live action series. The defenders of the series claim its because the writer is openly gay. Who cares? What got this bad reviews was the tepidly paced story, which really needed a few rewrites, and some more explanation. Any first season of a series, in the days where better series (Jupiter's Requiem) are cancelled after one, should be written as if this is the end.
The Acolyte: Choice (2024)
Time for Kathleen Kennedy to go
So we get a repeat of episode 3. With one episode left, nothing will be settled. I didn't know who leslye headland is, but she should never be allowed to write another star wars. Her look on the Jedi is pathetic. Also, once again, men are written to be weak losers, women, except Jedi women are all bold and brilliant. Master Sol is weak, indara is too emotional. How did these oh so powerful witches die in a fire? This is some seriously weak storytelling. A disgrace to the series that came before. This is bad enough to be the discovery series of Star wars. It's makes me wonder, with 'forward' thinking Disney, will the Rey movie be this bad?
Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire (2024)
Skip this and watch Godzilla Minus One again
It really makes me sad. The giant monster film originated in American cinema with 1925's The Lost World, continued with King Kong (1933, ignore the other versions) and hit it's peak obviously with 1953's Beast From 20,000 Fathoms. In 1954, Japan let loose Godzilla (Gojira) and US interest in giant monster movies, other than a few like The Valley of Gwangi, faded away. It should have stayed like this. To me, a long time Kaiju fan, while the 2014 Godzilla was OK, the rest of the Monsterverse has been pretty abysmal. Convoluted stories like this one, where the Japanese Kaiju, including the brilliant Godzilla Minus One, have a basic story-the monster appears and humanity reacts. None of this hollow earth, lost tribes, an ape using a monster to cause an ice age... a Kaiju movie doesn't need this much story. Also the CGI in this looked a bit weak in places and some of the actors were phoning it in. A few seriously large plot holes, such as Kong getting a bionic brace on his injured arm, how did the science team know he'd need this? The little mute girl was thrown in for what? To introduce her tribe? Because she added little but pathos to this film. Well, I've seen it once and likely, I'll never watch it again.