Lost in Space (TV Series)
The Sky Pirate (1966)
Albert Salmi: Captain Alonzo P. Tucker
Photos
Quotes
-
Dr. Zachary Smith : Now listen carefully. There's a very dangerous man on the hill with the boy. He's going to kill all of us unless you kill him first.
The Robot : The Prime Directive forbids taking human life.
Dr. Zachary Smith : The Directive is canceled. Now, get on with it!
The Robot : Then I will follow your orders.
Captain Alonzo P. Tucker : [Speaking to Will] Boy, you take a look and see if that there Smith feller is on his way back yet.
[Sees the Robot advancing]
Captain Alonzo P. Tucker : Balls of fire! It's a man of tin.
[Robot fires energy blast at Tucker]
Will Robinson : Look out!
[Robot blasts again]
Captain Alonzo P. Tucker : Why, that there hunk of walkin' wash boiler!
Will Robinson : We'd better run, Mr. Tucker.
Captain Alonzo P. Tucker : Run, is it?
[Whistles loudly and the robot's power pack is instantly transported into Tucker's hands]
-
Captain Alonzo P. Tucker : Now, then, you say after me: I swear...
Will Robinson : I swear...
Captain Alonzo P. Tucker : ...By this here blood...
Will Robinson : ...By this here blood...
Captain Alonzo P. Tucker : ...And all the molderin' bones of every pirate ever took this oath...
Will Robinson : ...And all the molderin' bones of every pirate that ever took this oath...
Captain Alonzo P. Tucker : ...That I will be true and faithful to the articles.
Will Robinson : ...That I will be true and faithful to the articles.
Captain Alonzo P. Tucker : And, eh, if I ever break this oath...
Will Robinson : And if I ever break this oath...
Captain Alonzo P. Tucker : ...I hope I fall down dead in my tracks and rot...
Will Robinson : ...I hope...
Captain Alonzo P. Tucker : Eh...
Will Robinson : ...I fall down dead in my tracks and rot...
Captain Alonzo P. Tucker : ...So help me.
Will Robinson : ...S-so help me.
-
The Robot : Warning. Warning. Situation dangerous. Red alert. Red alert.
Will Robinson : Captain Tucker! What's that?
Captain Alonzo P. Tucker : That's the thing from Cygnet Four.
Maureen Robinson : John? I think I understand now why there was only darkness when Will thought of us. This is the end, tonight, here. Right now. There won't be any tomorrows.
Prof. John Robinson : Not yet. We've still got the Robot.
[to Smith]
Prof. John Robinson : Tell him to go out there and try to stop that thing.
Dr. Zachary Smith : It's no use. We're all doomed.
Prof. John Robinson : Do it!
Dr. Zachary Smith : Come here! That thing out there - what is it? What can you do about it? Can you stop it?
The Robot : In order of questions asked - One: It does not compute. Two: I can perform any function of an environmental control nature, as well as...
Dr. Zachary Smith : I know that. Get to the point.
The Robot : Three: Since alien life-form does not compute, this question can only be answered by trial-and-error method.
Dr. Zachary Smith : Well, don't just stand there. Go out and try!
Prof. John Robinson : Maybe the force field will hold it. It's coming through the force field!
[the Robot fires one blast of energy at the creature, which has no effect]
-
Will Robinson : [about Dr. Smith's unconsciousness] What happened to him?
Captain Alonzo P. Tucker : Well, danged if I know. He took one look at me, he yelled and right up and fainted. Delicate kind of a cuss, ain't he?
-
Captain Alonzo P. Tucker : You ask anyone about Alonzo P. Tucker, they'll tell you he ain't got a shred of harm in 'im.
-
Captain Alonzo P. Tucker : Come down here and let's see what we got a hold o' here. Ah-ehh. Ehh. Ehh, looks like a scrubby boy. Talks like a scrubby boy. Acts like a scrubby boy - but I'll bet you ain't a scrubby boy!
Will Robinson : You bet I'm not.
-
Captain Alonzo P. Tucker : Oh, now, you are a rascal.
-
Will Robinson : Why did you become a pirate?
Captain Alonzo P. Tucker : What's wrong with bein' a pirate?
Will Robinson : It's wrong. That's all.
Captain Alonzo P. Tucker : Well, now, that depends on what kind of a pirate.
Will Robinson : S'there more than one kind?
Captain Alonzo P. Tucker : Course there are.
Will Robinson : What kind of pirate are you?
Captain Alonzo P. Tucker : Nyeh... Well... I'm an HONEST pirate.
-
Will Robinson : You mean, you've got a treasure?
Captain Alonzo P. Tucker : Well, now, course I got a treasure. Every self-respecting pirate's got a treasure, and mine's big as any of 'em.
-
Captain Alonzo P. Tucker : I'm gonna have to tie ya up, I'm afraid.
Will Robinson : Tie me up?
Captain Alonzo P. Tucker : Well, you're my prisoner, ain't cha? How'm I gonna get a good night's sleep with a prisoner a runnin' around loose?
Will Robinson : Even if I promise I won't run away?
Captain Alonzo P. Tucker : Promises, heh-heh... Unless, ah... No, no. No, you wouldn't wanna do that there, even if it meant that you wouldn't have to be tied up all night with maybe a loss of circulation 'n' cramps 'n' sickness and such.
Will Robinson : Wouldn't want to do what?
Captain Alonzo P. Tucker : Take the pirate's oath. Eh... No! No, I... I wouldn't ask you to do that, nice boy like you. No! I bet you go to Sunday school and things like that back where you came from. No, I wouldn't dare ask you to do anythin' so awful and so blood-curdling and terrible as take the pirate's oath, ehh.
Will Robinson : Well, maybe you could just give me a little one.
-
[Capt. Tucker gives the Robinsons a proposition to think over in exchange for Will's safe return]
Prof. John Robinson : How much time do I have?
Captain Alonzo P. Tucker : Eh... Well, now, Skipper, take all the time you want. Take an hour.
-
Dr. Zachary Smith : Professor Robinson gives his word that he will carry out the terms of the agreement and you will not be molested.
Captain Alonzo P. Tucker : He gives his word, ay? Would you take it if you were me?
Dr. Zachary Smith : Certainly not.
Captain Alonzo P. Tucker : Well, now, that there's good enough for me. You go back there and tell 'im it's a bargain.
Dr. Zachary Smith : But I don't understand. I advised you to do the op...
Captain Alonzo P. Tucker : I figure a feller can't go wrong if he listens to your advice and does exactly the opposite.
-
Maj. Don West : [examining Tucker's ship] I've never seen a drive like this, uh... What's the principle of it?
Captain Alonzo P. Tucker : Well, I wouldn't know that. I just push buttons to make 'er go. Well, now, course, I can, now, make simple repairs, but that's about all.
Prof. John Robinson : Well, what, uh... what happens when you push the buttons?
Captain Alonzo P. Tucker : When I push the buttons? Why, then, she begins a-shackin' and a-quiverin', and I begin a-shakin' and a-quiverin' - inside I mean, like I ate too many green apples - and then all of a sudden she goes ZOOM and the stars go out. They come back on when I get where I'm goin'.
Maj. Don West : A starship.
Prof. John Robinson : Hyper-spacedrive.
Maj. Don West : Faster than light.
Prof. John Robinson : Measures speed in parsecs.
Captain Alonzo P. Tucker : Eh, now you just hold on, buckos. I don't know what's on your mind, but we've got a bargain, remember.
Prof. John Robinson : With this ship we could get back to Earth in seconds.
Captain Alonzo P. Tucker : It ain't big enough.
Maj. Don West : We could shuttle back and forth. The best brains on Earth could dismantle it, find the secret of its drive. We'd have starships that could reach the further regions of the galaxy.
Prof. John Robinson : The UNIVERSE! HOW 'BOUT IT, TUCKER?
Captain Alonzo P. Tucker : Well, now... I'm just gonna have to THINK about that, heh-heh.
-
Will Robinson : What are we hiding from, Capt. Tucker?
Captain Alonzo P. Tucker : Well, I guess you'd call it a thing. Uh, it's from Signet Four.
Will Robinson : What kind of thing?
Captain Alonzo P. Tucker : Oh, oh, arr, it's just too awful to describe.
Will Robinson : Why don't you just blast it with your nucleonic planet buster?
Captain Alonzo P. Tucker : Oh! Oh, yes. Of course, yeah. Yes, of course... my nucleonic planet buster. I... That's right. Maybe I will.
