- Dr. Solomon F. Moses: Don't argue with me what's crazy. I know crazy. And you're crazy. I got now hanging around with me eight fellas who think they're reindeers. So I got no time for you fruitcake. Busy busy busy. Everyplace is craziness. So quick, what do you want for Christmas Charley?
- Georgie Soloway: I'd like a new life and a day without fear.
- Dr. Solomon F. Moses: Oh that's a shame. I got you a choo-choo train.
- Allison: Time, mister, it's not a thief. It's an embezzler staying up nights, and juggling the books so you don't notice anything missing when you wake up.
- Sidney Gill: Oh, Georgie, a dum-dum, a ding-dong, her head belongs in a crackerjack box and her ass in the louvre... Where is it, Georgie, tell me, where is the right combination? I shall have to screw every attractive girl within the limits of the City of New York. It's a dirty job, Georgie, but somebody's got to do it.
- Sidney Gill: Georgie, do not make funeral arrangements until you're dead. Oh, I've seen the way these Allisons operate. It's Robespierre, man. It's the Reign of Terror. She's just looking to cop a basket full of heads.
- Georgie Soloway: Sid, if they're mostly losers, when are you gonna know when a winner shows up? I mean...
- Sidney Gill: I am Baron von Richthofen and I am flying over enemy territory. When I go down it'll be an ace who gets me.
- Georgie Soloway: There's a fella who wants to kill me, Sol. I don't know who he is. I mean, you're not paranoid if everybody really does hate you, right?
- Georgie Soloway: Some rat calling himself Harry Kellerman is calling every chick and telling lies about me. Giving me the badmouth all over the town.
- Georgie Soloway: There's a fella who wants to kill me, doc. A fellow. I don't know who it is. I mean, you're not paranoid if everybody really does hate you, right? Now, we've established that I'm ready to be loved. I mean, it's years getting me ready for that number. And I'm really ready to love myself and commit myself to another human being now. And I'm really ready to love and commit myself to another human being now because I've learned to love myself and forgive myself for how rotten I am. That is where we're at, that is the scene, right?
- Dr. Solomon F. Moses: Well, that's not exactly...
- Georgie Soloway: I mean, it cost me $52,560, not counting cab fares, and a lot of years so you could sell me back to myself. And now I'm supposed to be straight on this love thing. And now an outside force, a big gun from out of town, a person, is screwing it up. You got that? Some rat calling himself Harry Kellerman is calling up every chick I see and telling lies about me, giving me the bad-mouth all over town. Sol, please, talk to me. I mean, who would hate me so much?
- Sidney Gill: Through the megaphone from across the street as he is walking down the block away from George: Hey friend...
- Georgie Soloway: Yeah?
- Sidney Gill: Watch the skies. I repeat... Watch the skies for low-flying starlings... They ruin the motor.
- Georgie Soloway: I'll watch out, Sid.
- Sidney Gill: I tell you true, sir.
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By what name was Who Is Harry Kellerman and Why Is He Saying Those Terrible Things About Me? (1971) officially released in Canada in English?
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