- Frazer: Captain Mainwaring. Did I ever tell you the story about the old, empty barn.
- Mainwaring: Um. No.
- Frazer: Would you like to hear the story about the old, empty barn?
- Mainwaring: Um. Yes. Listen everybody. Frazer's going to tell us the story about the old empty barn.
- Frazer: Right. The story of the old empty barn. Well. There was nothing in it.
- Mainwaring: In the words of the great E.C Cochran. "Early to bed, early to rise, no jolly good if you don't advertise".
- Hodges: [Repeated line, always shouted at Mainwaring's platoon after they've had a mishap] Ruddy Hooligans!
- Frazer: I am refusing to obey.
- Mainwaring: You'll be in charge of the liquor permits, Frazer.
- Frazer: I'm right behind you, Captain.
- [repeated line, spoken by just about everyone in the series sooner or later, and heard in almost every episode]
- many characters: There's a war on, y'know!
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