Children's Books discussion

I'm not sure how to title the topic. What I'm looking for is books to help boys grow to their full potential. My youngest son, age 27, says there is still too many societal assumptions that men are supposed to be the breadwinner, and to not cry, and to wear very specific kinds of clothing to the classroom or office, etc.

We have books to inspire girls to be smart and brave and ambitious, but what are the best books to help boys who might want to, I dunno, plant a flower garden, draw pictures of bunnies, wear pink socks, be the nursery-school teacher or the house-husband?

To clarify, I don't want a list full of books for gay or trans kids. Those books are terrific, but they're more suitable for Pride lists. I'm looking for books for boys who identify as boys, but want to grow up to be men who don't fret about the pressure to be manly or macho.

Further clarification, I'd like to focus on what's still happening nowadays. How can we help the boys who are growing up today with stories that are specifically for them? Sure, people from history can serve as inspiration, but I'm thinking the more powerful messages will come from contemporary or recent stories.

One good example off the top of my head is the classic William's Doll by Charlotte Zolotow.

Tough Guys Have Feelings Too doesn't quite hit the mark. To understand why not, see my review, and if you have a moment, the longer but much better review by Carmen: https://www.goodreads.com/review/show...

Yes, thank you. My brother and his son would benefit from books on the topic. I don't think we ever did have books like that. My mom may have focused more on books about kids who are small. Maybe books about artists and creative types?

Those could fit, I think. Especially if the child is pressured by someone to think that it's not good for him to be creative. I mean, maybe a book about a variety of kids all being creative wouldn't make the same impact on the young reader?

Oh, that reminds me of another classic, Max and while searching for that I found Boys Dance! which looks interesting.

Ok, that's a bit of a rabbit hole, as I also found Brothers of the Knight and When Langston Dances.

But I've not yet read those, either, so cannot vouch for them.

And of course I'd love to see on this list novels, biographies, graphic novels, not just picture-books.

Maybe we should also consider science biographies (as there is at present more of a focus on women, which is important, but male scientists should also not be forgotten)

Karl, Get Out of the Garden!: Carolus Linnaeus and the Naming of Everything

One Beetle Too Many: The Extraordinary Adventures of Charles Darwin

Gregor Mendel: The Friar Who Grew Peas

Blockhead: The Life of Fibonacci

The Tree of Life: Charles Darwin (did not like the small print)

Starry Messenger: Galileo Galilei (did not like the small print)

Snowflake Bentley

Johannes Kepler and the Three Laws of Planetary Motion

Alfred Wegener: Pioneer of Plate Tectonics

No, see, that's the opposite of what I'm suggesting. I'm talking about boys who feel like they are struggling against societal expectations. Most scientists irl are still men, so these, despite being good books that should be read, do not fit this thread at all.

Thank you anyway though!

CHERYL wrote: "No, see, that's the opposite of what I'm suggesting. I'm talking about boys who feel like they are struggling against societal expectations. Most scientists irl are still men, so these, despite bei..."

But for some of these scientists, like Fibonacci, Snowflake Bentley and Karl Linnaeus, they were also struggling (and Alfred Wegener was ridiculed and nastily denigrated and was only long after his death given the credit he was due). And Charles Darwin was of course fighting both his father who wanted him to become I believe a physician and the fact that his theory of evolution went against scripture, while Johanne Kepler also had multiple issues with his three laws of planetary motion being against the heliocentric model of the solar system promoted by the Catholic Church (but at least Kepler did not have to face the Inquisition like Galileo did but only because he lived in a Protestant area in my opinion).

Ok. Well, I'm not going to delete your posts. It's good we're reminded of the issues. But it's still not what I'm going after at all.

Let me clarify by adding the word 'contemporary' as opposed to historical to my query.

Thanks.

I know exactly what you mean Cheryl and I will ask my mom if she remembers any books they read in nursery school or with my brother when he was younger. My brother was constantly told "Be a toughie! Use your manly voice!" He was a whiny, little mama's boy who grew into an angsty teen and a still angsty but artistic adult who is raising a shy, sensitive, not traditionally masculine, tiny son. I think there's actually more stories about rebel GIRLS than boys!

Some of the books labeled LGBTQ are not in fact about sexuality or gender but more about breaking down the stereotypes of the gender norms like Pink Is for Boys but that's not quite what you're looking for.

Thank you! Yes, you understand.

Big Bob, Little Bob is preachy and simplistic, but otherwise spot on because Little Bob does a lot of things that are creative, nurturing, and girly - not just dressing up and playing with dolls.

Cheryl wrote: "Big Bob, Little Bob is preachy and simplistic, but otherwise spot on because Little Bob does a lot of things that are creative, nurturing, and girly - not just dressing up and playi..."

I sent that one to my cousin as a baby gift. I related to Little Bob and my cousin was always Big Bob type in his play but he's sweet, caring and sounds like he's a nurturing, loving dad.

I still haven't come across anything specific to this type of character though. Maybe there are older books I am not remembering. I'll have to try to ask my brother and his son if they've read anything about boys like them.

Please do!

Hmm, I'm sure I've read many but how many titles can I recall?! I'm terrible at names.

The Knight and the Dragon Not contemporary, obviously, but about pressure to be aggressive. In the end the young knight does not fight with the dragon (who has done nothing) but instead they become friends and open a bbq stand.

Tomie de Paola has some autobiographical ones about being an arty little kid. And one I think about a little boy being tender with his grandfather who has suffered a stroke.

There's Bambino and Mr. Twain but cw this is *quite* sad and about his old age and depression afer the death of his wife.

Thank you for the leads!

My Shadow Is Purple got four stars from me, in part because it could be interpreted to be in support of people who identify as non-binary, and for boys who don't fit the stereotypes. And (view spoiler)[for anyone who doesn't... see the end! (hide spoiler)].

Cheryl wrote: "My Shadow Is Purple got four stars from me, in part because it could be interpreted to be in support of people who identify as non-binary, and for boys who don't fit the stereotypes..."

Thank you. I'm curious about that one now and why the teacher in Georgia is about to be fired for reading it to her class.

My Life Begins! (can't add a book on mobile, sorry) has a boy being a great, nuturing big brother.

My Life Begins! by Patricia MacLachlan looks wonderful, thank you AllieM!
---
Yes, turns out it's great for the theme, Thank you again; I enjoyed reading it.

Daddy Dressed Me by Michael Gardner looks wonderful, what a role model!


I have it requested; I'll try to remember to come back to report.

I'd recommend GLOWRUSHES, an Italian classic that was published last year in the UK and will come out in the U.S. this year.

Cheryl, if I remember correctly, you were looking for books about intergenerational friendships, no? This is perfect for this as well.

Glowrushes. Thank you, yes, I am still looking for both themes!

And today I enjoyed The Knight and the Dragon, a classic by Tomie dePaola, which fits pretty well.

Haven't read it but The Princess in Black and the Prince in Pink might fit the bill.

Ooh an Italian book that's NOT about a stereotypical Italian male? I'll have to look for that for my nephew.

Omg, I love the Princess in Black series, thank you for alerting me that there's a new one!

QNPoohBear wrote: "Haven't read it but The Princess in Black and the Prince in Pink might fit the bill.
t ..."

Yes! I'm giving it four stars. I just love the main theme of this series, that one can embrace more facets of oneself. Princess Magnolia loves decorating, and also The P. in Black can deal with monsters. Prince Valerian is a hero, and also The P. in Pink loves decorating. A new friend to the pantheon!

What flower are you? What color is your hero?

Oh! How could I forget the classic The Story of Ferdinand! If you're not familiar with it, you must read it, whether you're particularly interested or not, imo. :)

Cheryl wrote: "Oh! How could I forget the classic The Story of Ferdinand! If you're not familiar with it, you must read it, whether you're particularly interested or not, imo. :)"

I have read The Story of Ferdinand in both English and German, and love it even more now that I know the book was banned both in Fascist Spain (until Franco's death in 1975) and also of course in Nzai Germany because Franco and Hitler considered Ferdinand's story as being pro pacifism and anti violence propaganda, sigh (and I sure hope that the pacifism and anti bull fighting message, and that bulls, that males should be able to be peaceful, love flowers etc. will not now also make Ferdinand the Bull be considered as promoting gender fluidity and thus be banned in states like Florida, Iowa, Texas etc.).

https://blogs.princeton.edu/cotsen/20...

I gave Big Bad Wolves at School four stars, especially for the smile it brought to my face.

For any boy (or anyone) more interested in dandelions and music than in thrilling adventures. But even the 'bad' wolves don't do anything too scary, like bite the hunters. Such a funny and engaging story, with the best art to enhance.

Cheryl wrote: "I'm not sure how to title the topic. What I'm looking for is books to help boys grow to their full potential. My youngest son, age 27, says there is still too many societal assumptions that men are..."

Cheryl, I am so sorry I missed this over our tospy-turvy summer. I really appreciate you creating this post as it is most certainly relevant to my own boys, especially my youngest. You are absolutely right that girls today are allowed, encouraged, to be brave, strong, smart, ambitious... but still there's the "boys will be boys" and so many assumptions and stereotypes and expectations about how boys should behave. It is getting better in many ways in that I am seeing many more dads involved with care-giving of their young children. I am not talking just about the dads yelling on the sidelines at their kid's sporting event, but dads actually preparing meals, shopping, taking kids to doctor appointments, walking them to the school bus, etc. etc. or even stay-at-home-dads. I think this is huge, and we are even seeing this reflected in the commercials nowadays with men in the active parenting roles. The image of the buffoon father trying to muddle through caregiving when mom had to go off for a weekend isn't as prevalent. Thank goodness! And, we are seeing more men in professions like nursing. Even with dance, the stigma has changed from when I was a girl when guys who danced were deemed "gay" (granted, many were, but not all -- there was a straight guy in our ballet class and he got all kind of ridicule from guys at school) Now we are seeing dance competitions on television with both gay and straight men. And yet, when we look at the real-world for boys today, it is still stereotypical -- at least, in a lot of ways. I have looked at dance studio websites and the dress code for classes only includes girl attire, or only girls are represented in photos, and when I called a local gymnastics studio to inquire about classes the coach automatically assumed I was calling about a daughter. At another class my son attended (with both boys and girls) he was laughed at for being vegetarian and not wanting to watch Star Wars. Breaks my heart. We see girls in the STEM section of catalogs or commercials, but do we see boys playing with dolls? No. (Unless it's something not-at-all mainstream like Waldorf.) Anyway, this may be veering too much off topic but I just wanted to commiserate with you about what is happening today and to appreciate what you are sharing and sharing from your own son(s) who have grown into sensitive and thoughtful young men. (I would love to know if there were any books that really spoke to them when they were growing up?) I definitely want books on this subject and I know we have read some and I will work on getting those posted soon. I think you are right that *contemporary* books are important because somehow there is a disconnect between children seeing these men who are in caregiving roles, or being professional male dancers or wearing pink socks to the office or whatever we want to classify as not being stereotypical "male", and the expectations on BOYS today who are expected to do "ninja class" instead of gymnastics or play with toy guns instead of dolls or do soccer instead of dance. They need to see other BOYS today who are breaking those stereotypes. Even if the majority of boys still enjoy the "typically boy" things, I believe the non-stereotypical boy is still underrepresented in children's lit today.

I'm glad to hear that things are getting somewhat better in some ways... too bad you're still seeing, and facing, expectations in dance, etc. I look forward to seeing what titles you come up with.

I don't recall any particular books that helped my boys. It was more their whole upbringing, being constantly aware of what they were exposed to and making sure they had lots of opportunities to explore anything that intrigued them.

The Blue House

This in my opinion also works, as neither Leo nor his father are typically "macho" types, and I adore how Leo is into art and dancing and that his father is a single parent who also encourages his son and joins him dancing, painting etc. (and who also reads aloud to Leo).

Manybooks wrote: "The Blue House

This in my opinion also works, as neither Leon nor his father are typically "macho" types, and I adore how Leon is into art and dancing and that his father is a sing..."

Absolutely! This is a great example, we loved this book.

The Story of Ferdinand and William's Doll are two "classics" mentioned already that I also heartily second (or third). Ferdinand was one of my husband's favorites as a kid.

Kathryn wrote: "Manybooks wrote: "The Blue House

This in my opinion also works, as neither Leon nor his father are typically "macho" types, and I adore how Leon is into art and dancing and that hi..."

I am glad you and your family all loved The Blue House. I did as well and am a bit flabbergasted that some morons actually think this book somehow promotes pedophilia because the father sits with Leon while he is bathing and that the bedding is supposedly too girly, sigh.

For middle grade, I absolutely love the Ellie Engineer books. They are so refreshing! We have Ellie Engineer, a girl who loves to build, design etc. yet also likes to dress up and do "girly" things. Her friend, who is a boy, sometimes is interested in dolls or other "girly" things but it's not a big deal and there's also no mention of him being gay or trans (not that there's anything wrong with that, just re: Cheryl's original post that that is not the point here). There's "girl power" without berating boys and, IMO, this is HUGE as another pet-peeve of mine is the "girl power" books that portray boys as oafs. Ellie, Engineer Both my boys really enjoyed the series, too.

Cheryl wrote: "I It was more their whole upbringing, being constantly aware of what they were exposed to and making sure they had lots of opportunities to explore anything that intrigued them"

Yes! Love this.

QNPoohBear wrote: "Haven't read it but The Princess in Black and the Prince in Pink might fit the bill.
.."

Yes I read this finally and Prince Valerian is a hero, a knight but his alter ego is a party planning, decorating prince in pink. Shannon Hale has gotten praise for Princess Magnolia and her girl power message but a whole lot of pushback about The Prince in Pink!

My brother is not stereotypically manly. He does most of the child care after school hours. My nephew is like his dad, small, delicate looking and not into sports. He likes piano lessons, magic, video games, science, nature, going to the beach- he JUST got brave enough to go in the water (at 9) and apparently the Renaissance Faire is a new interest. I haven't seen him to ask if he has any favorite books about boys like him.

I used to read my little brother the BSC spinoff Babysitter's Little Sister because Kristi's stepbrother Andrew reminded me of my brother. Andrew is pretty little though, I think he was 5. Karen is the main focus.

Kathryn wrote: "Manybooks wrote: "The Blue House

This in my opinion also works, as neither Leon nor his father are typically "macho" types, and I adore how Leon is into art and dancing and that hi..."

Did you notice how in the illustrations for The Blue House Leo and his father are dancing to the music of Bruce Springsteel (instead of Bruce Springsteen) and the Beverly Brothers (instead of the Everly Brothers) and that when the father is reading aloud to Leo (while Leo is in the bath), the book is The Hobbin (instead of The Hobbit)? Really cool!

Want to Play Trucks?
Similar to Big Bob, Little Bob, boys who are opposites. Alex likes dolls in pink, sparkly dresses, tutus and purple overalls (AND he likes trucks). Dolls can drive trucks and when his friend Jack, argues they can't, they come to an understanding that the doll's tutu won't fit in the driver's seat. Dolls can drive trucks in purple overalls, however! A solution that satisfies both boys.

QNPoohBear wrote: "Want to Play Trucks?
Similar to Big Bob, Little Bob, boys who are opposites. Alex likes dolls in pink, sparkly dresses, tutus and purple overalls (AND he likes truck..."

Sounds great! :-)

Manybooks wrote: "Did you notice how in the illustrations for The Blue House Leo and his father are dancing to the music of Bruce Springsteel (instead of Bruce Springsteen) and the Beverly Brothers (instead of the Everly Brothers) and that when the father is reading aloud to Leo (while Leo is in the bath), the book is The Hobbin (instead of The Hobbit)? Really cool."

I love all those little details, so clever and fun.

Kathryn wrote: "Manybooks wrote: "Did you notice how in the illustrations for The Blue House Leo and his father are dancing to the music of Bruce Springsteel (instead of Bruce Springsteen) and the Beverly Brothers..."

Yup, and it makes the book fun for both children and adults.

QNPoohBear wrote: "Want to Play Trucks?
Similar to Big Bob, Little Bob, boys who are opposites. Alex likes dolls in pink, sparkly dresses, tutus and purple overalls (AND he likes truck..."

I'll look for it!

First Valentine Cute, humorous and relatable. Sometimes the art we envision creating isn't what we are able to actually make... so frustrating! But if you keep trying, and keep an open mind, a little serendipity and a little imagination can make something even better than you'd planned. As for the illustrations, the little dog friend is adorable and the valentine craft designs are fun way for little ones to learn shapes. Also, note that the story never specifies the gender of the child, just says "little friend" The GR blurb specifies "he" yet I've seen some reviews that say "she." I feel the book itself is open-ended so it could be a little girl or a could be a little boy who likes pink. (If you notice the family pictures in the background, the child is wearing a blue shirt in those.)

Thank you, sounds wonderful!