Nataliya's Reviews > The Lies of Locke Lamora

The Lies of Locke Lamora is a love child of Ocean's Eleven and The Godfather. With blood, deaths, betrayals, money, and drowning in horse urine. With a sh*tload of non-PG humor. All for the price of one. And it's SO. GOOD.

“Some day, Locke Lamora,” he said, “some day, you’re going to fuck up so magnificently, so ambitiously, so overwhelmingly that the sky will light up and the moons will spin and the gods themselves will shit comets with glee. And I just hope that I’m still around to see it.”

-----------------------------------------------------
Warning: If you are not a fan of strong language, you should back away slowly from this book. It gleefully takes the f-bombs and casually throws them around. But, as the author has mentioned before, foul language is the least issue of this book full of violence, blood, and drowning in horse piss. Regardless, consider yourselves warned.
------------------------------------------------------------


Add the above together, and you have Camorr. A lovely place to raise children.
-------------------------------------------------------------

Locke Lamora, our lovable antihero, would like you to believe he's nothing more than a petty thief. Well, not so much. He is the Thorn of Camorr, puling one heist after another on the unsuspecting, secure in their birth nobles of his medieval Venice-like city. Until one day he gets in way over his head. There are plenty of people who would love to see him dead - if they could ever figure out who the hell he is.

"There’s no freedom quite like the freedom of being constantly underestimated."

Locke Lamora is a Gentleman Bastard who doesn't care much about becoming rich. So why does he steal on a truly grandiose scale? Of course, "because it's heaps of fucking fun." And because he is not a fan of nobles feeling invincible just because they are nobles. He loves being a Thorn in their side and giving them the taste of their own medicine.

"Sometimes I think this whole city was put here simply because the gods must adore crime. Pickpockets rob the common folk, merchants rob anyone they can dupe, Capa Barsavi robs the robbers and the common folk, the lesser nobles rob nearly everyone, and Duke Nicovante occasionally runs off with his army and robs the shit out of Tal Verarr or Jerem, not to mention what he does to his own nobles and his common folk.”

Locke is a proverbial smartass. He is stubborn, clever, and disrespectful. Basically, he has a knack for attracting trouble. After all, someone has already paid for his death before Locke even turned eight. He is not so great with weapons - unless you count wits, sheer tenacity, and enormous disrespect for authority. What he IS great with is friendship. He gets by with a little help from his friends, so to say.

“I don't have to beat you. I don't have to beat you, motherfucker. I just have to keep you here... until Jean shows up.”

Locke Lamora has only one BERSERK BUTTON (unless you also count a certain redhead) - DO.NOT.MESS.WITH.HIS.FRIENDS. Seriously, you don't want Locke Lamora pissed at you. (view spoiler)[Just ask the Gray King. (hide spoiler)] And that's what I really adored about this book - the depiction of honest, strong friendships between Locke and his gang. Formerly a bunch of misfits, they have formed strong bonds of friendship that will only be broken by death. They always have each other's back, no matter what the situation is. Locke and Jean Tannen have the best bromance ever since Joey and Chandler or Turk and JD.



-------------------------------------------------------------------------
I loved this book - so much I want to have grandbabies with it. It's a fun, fast-paced, skillfully written, smart and snarky but surprisingly touching read that had me laughing and shaking my fist in anger within a few pages. Easy 5 stars for the enjoyable ride.

“I can't wait to have words with the Gray King when this shit is all finished," Locke whispered. "There's a few things I want to ask him. Philosophical questions. Like, 'How does it feel to be dangled out a window by a rope tied around your balls, motherfucker?”