✘✘ Sarah ✘✘ (former Nefarious Breeder of Murderous Crustaceans)'s Reviews > Halfway to the Grave

Buddy read with Danae, Asya, Shelly, Mariana, Lea, Vicky & Robin (our official, cape-wearing stalker) starting Feb. 13, 2015.



💀 DNF at 74%.

Thou art not dreaming dear friends, it happened again. I'm the freak who didn't like the book with a stellar average rating.



First of all, let me say that my rating for this book has nothing to do with the book itself and everything to do with what I expected it to be. I had made some silly assumptions before reading this (don't ask me where they came from, I have no idea (view spoiler)[might be early Alzheimer's though (hide spoiler)]), which pretty much ruined everything for me. To be honest I did enjoy the first part of this book. The problem is it all went downhill very fast after I hit the 40% mark.

My name is Sarah and I'm an idiot. It's my own fault if I didn't like this book.

Silly assumption #1:
I thought that this was dark Urban Fantasy. Oh please don't look at me like that, it's bad enough as it is. Since I'm a reformed self-spoiling queen, I no longer read book blurbs. I read somewhere this was UF, saw the title for the series (night=dark right? Right.) and my brain short-circuited. My two grey cells went from PNR to dark UF in less time than it takes to blink. So here I was, rubbing my hands in anticipation, expecting wonderfully gritty times.



If this isn't PNR with Chick Lit tendencies I don't know what it is. I almost went into sugar shock from all the luuuurrrrve oozing from these pages. Oh get off your high horses will you? I'm not saying it's a bad thing and I understand a vast majority loves it but I just can't stand all that romantic crap. There, I said it. I'm the alien from outer space who wants to scream every time Bones says "I love you Kitten."

Silly assumption #2:
I expected Bones to be an aggravating Alpha male. Oh please don't even think about laughing okay? Most of my very good friends here go in heavy panting mode whenever he is mentioned (you know who you are people) so I logically assumed Bones was a total (hence irresistible) asshole. What I failed to take into consideration is that my dear friends are lovely girls who like lovely guys. Me? The bastards get me in heavy panting mode every time.



Bones? A decaffeinated, diet alpha male. I thought he was cute at first but cute gets old really fast in my book. And I didn't think he was a particularly butt-kicking lead either. Or mysterious. Or edgy. Then he went overboard with the "I love you Kitten" machine gun and I just couldn't take it anymore. Ultimately I though he was just kind of… boring? Okay, go ahead, unleash your rage on me now. Then again, you should actually be thanking me for this. Maybe even consider throwing a party here. "Why" you ask? Consider this: that's one book boyfriend I won't be stealing away from you. WOW!

Silly assumption #3:
I thought Cat was supposed to be a totally awesome badass heroine. The cut, cut, cut, slice, slice, slice type. Or better said the slay, slay, slay type. I mean night + huntress + grave that surely means total badass right? Right . Silly little me also expected a complex character (she is half-vampire, half-human after all) with lots of depth.



Cat? A badass? Please. So she kills vampires here and there. That doesn't make her a particularly fierce, butt-kicking character in my book. But that's not the worst of it. The problem with Cat is that she is so immature she makes me want to scream. Okay, I have to admit she's not as bad as dear Sookie. Because, frankly, no one can be as silly as Sookie. But I digress. Cat. The girl acts like a 15-year-old. With Bones, with her mom. With Bones because of her mom. With her mom because of Bones [insert scream here] I thought my eyeballs were going to pop out of their sockets from eye-rolling so much. And then Cat decided to pretend Timmie was her boyfriend. That just did me in. How old are you exactly? Twelve?

So there you have it. I got to 74% and couldn't take it anymore. Mostly because of all the ♫ lovey-dovey ♫ feels but also because I was pretty much bored to death. I mean, let's be honest here, the plot is virtually non-existent. If you take out all the Bones/Cat relationship blah blah there is very little left. And what's left isn't particularly interesting.



BUT. Let's end this on a more positive note. This book features pretty much everything I don't like: romance, nice male lead *shudders* and immature female lead. SO. If you like everything I don't like, there's a good chance you will LOVE this book. Besides, the mere fact that I disliked this book should give you an indication of how extremely enjoyable it is. YOU WILL LOVE IT I TELL YOU.

Still unsure about this? Make sure you go and read these enthusiastic reviews: Shelly's, Danae's, Robin's, Jo's and Vicky's (if she ever gets over her laziness and finally writes it that is). After you do you probably won't believe these lovely girls and I actually read the same book. We did. It's just that I'm the cold-hearted freak who didn't get it. Come on, off you go now!