R.E. Sharf's Reviews > Return to the Dark House

Quick disclaimer: This review is spoiler-free for book 2 and has super minor spoilers for book 1. It's also very long. That's how many issues I have for just the non-spoilery parts of this abomination.

Yikes.

I still cannot believe that this is the author of Jane Anonymous. Return to the Dark House was very much the same thing that Welcome to the Darkhouse was, a referential non-slasher with one-dimensional characters and a plot that could have been condensed into one-third of the book's size.

I will say, it was better than book one, but only slightly so. With that being said, my rating for book 1 is three stars while my rating for book 2 is two stars. Why? Because, while the author's work has improved since, my exasperation with this series and its ridiculous (and not in a fun way) plot ruined my enjoyment of this.

I mean, here's a minor non-spoilery plot breakdown of book 2: After surviving the Dark House contest, where participants were forced to live out their worst nightmares in a very literal sense, Ivy has been placed in a psychiatric facility and then released, only for the killer to contact her and lure her to an abandoned gothic mansion (not so much as lure as he tells her to go there and she obeys like the spineless little dog that she is) in the middle of nowhere. There, she and fellow survive Taylor are now forced to partake in the killer's nightmare to save their friends, who by the way (minor spoiler for book 1 even though it was super obvious) are not dead.

FIRST of all, Ivy and Taylor don't go to the police because the killer tells them not to. Also, Ivy is afraid that going to the police again (since she's been pestering them nonstop after her escape) will place her back in the psychiatric facility.

NONE OF THIS IS BELIEVABLE. The killer is not omnipotent, he will not harm you or your friends if you share the situation with someone close to you and ask them to speak to the police on your behalf in case you're being watched.

But I get it, for the plot to work the police need to be out of the picture. So here's an idea: take a page out of every slasher ever and have the police not believe Ivy about the Dark House in the first place. After the events of book 1, no evidence has been found except a deactivated email address and Taylor's testimony (the same Taylor who disappeared in the early chapters of book one and never actually witnessed the horrors that took place).

It would be so easy for the police to claim that Ivy is not mentally stable and made up the whole thing. Also, considering that book 1 took place over the span of two days, it's very likely that Ivy wouldn't know or remember the other participants' last names, therefore unable to prove their disappearances.

Qualm 2: Where is the killer getting such resources?! Seriously, we've only seen one villain but there are actors, holograms, set pieces, drivers (?!), audio recordings, etc. involved in the projects. If the killer is working alone (something that has never been confirmed but heavily implied) where is he getting any of this stuff????

My last problem with the plot, before I talk about the characters, is the potentially supernatural stuff going on???? I understand that there was supposed to be a book 3 where we likely would've gotten a full explanation but I have to ask:

1. Is it or is it not supernatural? There are mentions of ghosts and whatever but they always come from unreliable sources and everything "spooky" the main characters personally come across can be easily explained away with the high-end tech the killer has so...which is it?

2. Why is this even relevant? If there are truly supernatural aspects to the story, they aren't nearly prominent enough to have any impact on the plot. If you take them out, nothing changes. If there are no supernatural events, why make it seem like there may be? Again, it's not relevant to the plot and isn't a big enough mystery for me to care.

Lastly, I have to mention the characters even though this review is about the same length as the essay which I am choosing not to write for my gothic literature class because I "don't have enough time."

Ivy is a boring final girl with no interesting qualities and I cannot imagine why she is so special to the killer. Nothing about her is worth all this effort.

Taylor was enjoyable until she did something so stupid and out of character that I just ????? However, the number of horror references this girl makes. Seriously, no fan of horror name drops Invasion of the Body Snatchers and Carrie in the same sentence.

Where the references in The Mary Shelley Club showcased the author's genuine love for horror, the references in return to the Dark House seem like the author's Google search results.

And lastly the love interest, Parker. He knew Ivy for two days and then wrote her letters in captivity signed "love Parker." He was also totally useless and served no purpose for the story besides giving Ivy a reason to want to return to the killer's clutches, but that role could have been filled by anyone else.

I'm so over this, when will I finally read a good YA horror?