✘✘ Sarah ✘✘ (former Nefarious Breeder of Murderous Crustaceans)'s Reviews > Mind Games

This book.

➽ When I started reading it, I was like:



At this stage, I was actually silly enough to wonder why the shrimp this book had such a low average rating. Then I remembered that everyone but me had DBT™ (view spoiler)[Despicable Book Taste, remember? (hide spoiler)], and figured it all made perfect sense.

➽ Then I started feeling like this:



Which loosely translates to mean: uh-oh, my Crappy UF Radar (CUR™) is picking up some disturbingly alarming signals.

➽ Eventually, the inevitable happened, and I ended up feeling like this:



And also a little bit like this (watch out, getting my mostest favouritest gif out of storage):



Which loosely translates to mean: this freaking book has a freaking 3.51 average rating?! Were you people drunk/high/both/whatever when you read this?! Where the shrimp did this overwhelming surge of generosity come from?! Bemusement is me. Especially since a vast majority of my dearest, mostest awesomest friends the creeps I vaguely know rated this thing 4 stars. There is only one plausible explanation here: we didn't read the same book. Yep, that must be it. And I'm pretty sure this is the book they actually read. I mean, look at that cover, of course that's the type of book they would read. Ha! I'm so clever sometimes, I amaze my little self. I'm telling you, my Little Barnacles, Sherlock Holmes has nothing on me.

To be honest, I almost gave this book a 2.789-star rating (which would have been outrageously charitable on my part, I must admit), but I HATE it when Fantastically Brilliant Potential (FBP™) goes to waste, so QED and stuff. Because yes, my lovely arthropods, this could and should have been fabulous 5-star material. It could and should have been super cool and uber awesome and stuff. But it wasn't, so it wasn't. But hey, it could and should have been. Had it not been for the…

✘ Aggressive chick lit vibes generated by the absolutely fascinating descriptions of ALL of the delightful MC's sensational outfits. Yay.

✘ Predictable everything. The good thing about this is that it made me feel super clever and stuff. I mean, I could see it all coming from thousands of miles away. So either I'm superiorly intelligent (which I obviously am) or my crystal ball was in particularly sharp mood while I was reading this PoC™ (yes, I have a sentient crystal ball. Her name is Daisy, by the way. She says hello.)



✘ Increasingly Stupid, Stupid TSTL Moments (ISSTM™) on the above mentioned delightful MC's part. They kind of grow like mold as the story progresses. So cool.

✘ Instalove crap, lovey dovey rubbish, manufactured relationship drama BS and Love Triangle of Doom and Destruction (LToDD™). Aka Pure bliss.

✘ Enchanting MC that went from original and cool and deliciously hypochondriacal to foolish, fickle, exasperating, naïve, selfish, capricious, cheating, harebrained nitwit in less time than it takes to blink. I love her. She really is amazing.



» And the moral of this I Must Have Been Really Bad in a Past Life to Deserve This Crappy Non Review (IMHBRBiaPLtDTCNR™) is:



But hey, it's free, so if you're feeling slightly masochistic, go right ahead and download it. I'm pretty sure you won't be glad you did. You're very welcome.