“But no one wanted to read a three-hundred-thousand-word book that was so detailed, you didn’t need an imagination to complete it.”
This is kind of iro“But no one wanted to read a three-hundred-thousand-word book that was so detailed, you didn’t need an imagination to complete it.”
This is kind of ironic since Russell could have been cut right out. Because this is about Teagan and Hunter. (Aside: the latter is an unfortunate name choice. All I could think of was the meme. And his friend was Parker. Meh for the name choices.) Except Teagan and Hunter are not rivals. They’re just boring neighbors.
That’s why I was hung up on name choices. Because after their first date-non-date they separately agree the other is sarcastic and snarky and it’s irritating but they can’t help but like the other one. Except neither was especially snarky or sarcastic. Or likeable.
“First, it was with his sarcastic, snarky blasé attitude.” He bought you flowers for crying out loud.
“Everything about her including her snarky and sarcastic personality irritated the hell out of me.”
We are told that each of them is a NICE person. Kind. Doing for others. It’s like they’re the same person. And I get that they’ve had a secret texting relationship — albeit via anonymous, make-believe personas — for two years, but there should be a distinction between personalities. There should have been some kind of evidence of the snarky sarcasm. They even have very similar jobs, backing creative types.
Note: I didn’t understand his “strange glare” when they meet not-that-cute over her destroyed Mom-azaleas. Why is he glaring strangely? No idea.
She’s got a stack of work to do but takes off for downtown to shop at a bookstore. I get the post office, but shopping? Even as an editor. Her kind of stress “could never be outrun,” so ends the first chapter, but evidently it can because there she is shopping at her fave bookstore and getting new cookware.
She has no time for reading but takes an entire morning for frying pans and books.
Back to the azaleas, I wouldn’t have gotten over that so quickly. Not if as she claims they were a cherished remembrance of her mother. She just blows hot and cold throughout and it’s super annoying.
Also? She runs into him at the bookstore and doesn’t thank him for the Iris. He doesn’t owe her lunch. He already got her flowers!
“That’s not always a bad thing, she replied.” — the “she replied” shouldn’t be bold like the rest of the text message.
The last straw was Hunter filling a bag of pseudo trash just for an excuse to talk to his neighbor. Just asinine silly. He fills the bag with “a bookend, a frying pan, several sweaters…” and then leaves them in the trash. He could have taken a couple more empty boxes out (which really could have been recycled…) instead of tossing perfectly good items.
Take them out and donate the stuff.
OR just be a man and go talk to her! “Hey! Did you get the Iris I left for you? BECAUSE YOU NEVER MENTIONED IT AT LUNCH…!”
Now that would have been interesting.
Bottom line this was not edited well enough to keep me in the story without being aggravated at the inconsistencies and… btw, the sister’s douchebag husband isn’t technically an “ex-“ until after the divorce…uuggghhh.
I wanted so much to like this one. The first book was so good. But this hero is an idiot. And so is the heroine, 26.
“But they’re so flippin’ flappin’ I wanted so much to like this one. The first book was so good. But this hero is an idiot. And so is the heroine, 26.
“But they’re so flippin’ flappin’ big and soft and so flingin’ flangin’ there.”
She’s talking about his lips.
And he has a fake girlfriend he’s never met while he’s obviously in love with Birdie. But he’s an actor with hair more intelligent than he is.
They’ve known each other for six years.
He sees her naked breasts and suddenly has two reasons to want to sleep with her. Eye roll. Then remembers he’s Catholic and “whose ma, sister and nonna would punch in the balls if they knew” he was having sex with Birdie because of that.
I’d punch him, too.
Then he remembers the girlfriend he’s never met and considers she might be open to more but quickly changes his mind back to Birdie.
Then texts the girlfriend, telling her she’s hot.
He’s like a toddler.
“But I’m here for Birdie. And I more than like everything about Birdie. I think I’m confused.”
I just can’t with this. Interesting concept. But she goes back in time and is sitting in the hero’s lap in the next scene. And she talks just like theI just can’t with this. Interesting concept. But she goes back in time and is sitting in the hero’s lap in the next scene. And she talks just like the men do - but she’s from a different century and an educated modern woman. I couldn’t tell them all apart. And I didn’t get the urgency of saving her friend or the wrath of her work being stolen. Congratulations to the readers who four and five star loved this in their independent reviews. I don’t get it. DNF at 14%. ...more
Not even for comedy can I legit finish this. I had the image of her “voluptuous bouncing ass” - which was unfortunate. I mean, how does she work in thNot even for comedy can I legit finish this. I had the image of her “voluptuous bouncing ass” - which was unfortunate. I mean, how does she work in the narrow confines of a commercial airplane aisle with a voluptuous bouncing ass???
But then I was informed that Nepal is in the Mediterranean.
“…while the destination is the beautiful Mediterranean vista that is Nepal,…”
I’m gonna do the math on this and…:::unrolls measuring tape:::… give the globe a little spin. Yep. Just as I thought. It’s approximately 3,000 miles from Cairo to Kathmandu. Nepal is NOT a “Mediterranean vista.”
Then there are the douchebag…I’m loathe to call them heroes…male MCs.
“Both of us could tell she was interested even though played it cool-…”
I knew going in they’d be manwhores. Playing with women for points. It’s right there in the blurb. But what isn’t there is the greasy “I can tell you want me even though your lips are saying no” vibe
This book is NOT well written. And to finish it I’d have to drink and squint past all the errors of both grammar and editing.
It’s like English is the This book is NOT well written. And to finish it I’d have to drink and squint past all the errors of both grammar and editing.
It’s like English is the third or fourth language of the author. Or it was originally written in a foreign language and was translated by a really bad AI.
Examples:
“He showed me her picture on math department website,…” — on the
“I guess Dr. Huff’s humiliating treatment pissed me and seeing her…” — pissed me off
“I could ogle her all I wanted for a full hour a time.” — at a time
“Just imagine how good it is to kiss her lush lips and bury my nose in her snowy valley.” — would be, and snowy valley? That’s no sexy.
“I’m sure she would like me to do these to her, too. I swear I see her blush, and she stared into my eyes too long, and she tried to hide her ring.” — these things, saw, and just so fucking awkward
“Fuck, she won’t be hard to get. None of them is.” — are
So then I had the thought that maybe this author is doing a Twain and having her character think in the same way he speaks. Maybe he’s an uneducated rube who doesn’t have have a firm grasp on the language? But no. Because the heroine…
“You don’t want to end up transferring to a different college and start all over.” — having to start
“…a bar and restaurant I’ve been working for fifteen years.” — working at
“…not bothering to hide his contempt over the other sex.” — contempt for
“He’s never married but is always seeing someone.” — been married
And side characters can’t speak either…
“Woman and math—I still find it hard to imagine.” —women
“You could live in comfort for the rest of your life, without working for another day.” — working another day
Set up was great. She’s 36. He’s in college. Get ‘im, girl! She’s not the smartest because she left school in her junior year to support her boyfriend-turned-husband. Who the hell does that? So weak. Twelve years later and she is still bartending to put herself through graduate school. Why not get a job teaching actual math and go to school at night? It’s what most people do. So there’s also a reality issue here that I might be able to overlook, but for the…
I cannot get past the crap writing. No idea what the 4 and 5 star reviews read because it wasn’t what I read. I think this is the second book by this author I’ve attempted. I’m done....more
I just can’t with these 25 year old who talk like they’re 40. “We were so hopeful and then life took a nosedive. Where did it all go wrong?!?”
Gag.
We’lI just can’t with these 25 year old who talk like they’re 40. “We were so hopeful and then life took a nosedive. Where did it all go wrong?!?”
Gag.
We’ll probably where you let a complete stranger fuck you from behind steps from your boss and all your coworkers. But I dunno…maybe it was your choice of latte?
GMAFB.
And the “hero” sounds like a 14 year old p@say talking to his mommy that way.
Just not for me. So this review is based on the first 4%. Take from it what you will. I’m counting it for wasting my time. ...more
This book has been in my WTR for ages. Mostly because it’s a rocker novel and the guy on the cover had a winter soldier look to him. But I never got aThis book has been in my WTR for ages. Mostly because it’s a rocker novel and the guy on the cover had a winter soldier look to him. But I never got around to it because the guy on the KU version looked less superhero-esque, and more grizzly meta. I never put the two together. Wish I still hadn’t.
I really tried to like these characters. At times I almost did. More so Deacon than Harper. I never connected to her. She’s a 22 year old, recent culinary school graduate (who somehow did her thesis - they do those in food school? - on social media) who is 5’3” and is very cognizant of her nipples. Hey, some people follow the weather report, Harper follows the girls.
So given her age, despite being told over and over and over again that she’s tough and experienced and lost her virginity to a pop star at 17, and she’s tough, I tried to cut her some slack. She isn’t going to be a rocker’s one night stand. But she’s also attracted to Deacon. Or his body. Whatever. There’s a force there.
But it fell apart around 25% when I started skimming.
Deacon is a 6’5”, 24 year old bassist for a band he’s worked so hard for…”since January”???…and he’s into working out. He’s also really tall. Y’all, he is tall. And unmovable. I know this because he never moves when Harper pushes him, or slugs him, or elbows him. The guy’s a rock. No clue why he’s so attracted to Harper. Except she’s there. “Being near her made him feel centered for the first time in his life.” This is never shown, however. They’ve barely spoken at this point.
Harper is so inconsistent. She has to prove herself on this tour, except her bosses have known her all her life. So not much to prove there. She’s a career minded woman, a chef, but she’s serving potato salad made en masse in a cafeteria line. I guess that’s better than proving yourself in an actual restaurant. But the woman who can handle herself couldn’t handle herself getting hit on during her internship. It’s just very nonsensical. We don’t learn she keeps in shape with swimming - where? - and yoga - when? - until 20% in.
Others in band…sigh. They all wore “vintage” band shirts. But I didn’t really like them, either. Simon is a walking penis. Nick has stage fright and is also a manwhore. Jazz is a small monkey like woman who’s perky, crawls over everyone, with purple everything, including contacts. How do you have “co-lead” guitars? Not lead and rhythm. Whatever. Gray is the other co, and obviously has a drug issue. Really not unique issues in rock romances, but none of them are written to draw the reader in. Never once did I say “I want to know why he’s like that” or “poor misunderstood musician.”
Deacon lost me when Harper said he was going too fast and he seems to suddenly remember seeing a sign for a famous tattoo artist. Awfully convenient when sex is off the table for a bit. But he’s famous and the artist is opportunistic and suddenly he’s getting his entire back tattooed. His gorgeous, pristine, sexy, tanned, beautifully unmarried skin. Look. I don’t care about tattoos. But this was weird. It was also almost 30 pages. And ended with: “If he’d been smarter, he would have thought about the fact that now he had no choice but to heal up. Getting Harper under him wasn’t happening tonight.” No shit, buddy. That was the last thing you said before remembering the one place you had to check out! Guess he’ll have to make do with the finger job in the hall halfway through getting tatted. Almost forgot the second best part. The tattoo is both “tribal” and “layers of metal coming out of his flesh.” That’s really meaningful… :::eyeroll:::
The best part, though, is Harper tweeting it out for the world and immediately pissed off that every woman is lusting after Deacon. And Deacon stripping his shirt, fully aware he’s getting filmed by a TV crew and immediately regretting being objectified by the world. I guess they really are meant for each other.
Yep. Done at 25%. I can’t even skim any more of it. I can’t believe this goes on for another 475ish pages and has two sequels.
Errors: “…in his stocking feet—six feet freaking five.” — stockinged “…Thousand Islands and dumped it…” — Island “…band tour busses.” — buses “…fair to the female populous if they were real.” — populace “…for the lot of us…” — Americans don’t say this, it’d be for us or for all of us or for the table
I had to look up and was frigging annoyed about it the following: Manic Panic — hair dye Kanaka nui — big guy 1-900 — didn’t these numbers close in the early 90s? Why the reference from Harper’s POV then when she would’ve been a child?...more
Best opening pages of any book I’ve read in a long time. Hilarious. But the windup took forever, and I had no taste for watching this woman have to puBest opening pages of any book I’ve read in a long time. Hilarious. But the windup took forever, and I had no taste for watching this woman have to put up with the woman her dead husband sired a son on, her own son not defending her to said woman, and then all “rich white men” carrying the cross her husband did. Nope, nope, and nope. But the opening scene was superb and I liked the characters until the racism.
Up to that point, about a third of the way in, we have a hero on the submissive end of the scale. Not sure why this is necessary but all books now seem to have to check in on the Fifty Shades scale.
The editing was spotty. Missing words. “I’ll drop you off at hotel.” And incorrect pronoun here:
““Darcy…” she said, making his way…”
Of the hero, the heroine says:
“Tommy was deep, philosophical, and emotionally mature in a way I’ve yet to see in men twice his age. And I know that’s a thing that people say when they want to make excuses for their attraction to a much younger person, but it really was true with Tommy.” The age difference is 21 years.
So what’s the hold up? She also seems to be digging the taboo. Honestly, should she give a shit what the same people who toss her husband’s whore in her face think? Of anything?
Her husband willed the whore his half of her business - I’d have fought that into fucking bankruptcy. But whatevs.
Too bad this book went there, I was sort of enjoying it up to the white men line. Hopefully other readers can get past that no problem....more
Tbh at 15% I just started skimming. Every character sounds the same. I couldn’t tell the difference between who was talking. And when the trip to the Tbh at 15% I just started skimming. Every character sounds the same. I couldn’t tell the difference between who was talking. And when the trip to the bar (why does a town of 3,000 have so many bars?) sounded exactly like the trip to the barbecue place I was rolling my eyes. All walking distance.
The premise of the story is solid. She’s a teacher on her first gig. He’s a “farmer.” But she’s also a “big city girl” - as if Minneapolis is a big city, and is planning her exit back to it. And he’s not really a farmer. He’s a crop manager working for a conglomerate and living in a bunkhouse. Sure. So solid blurb quickly unravels.
Even the beginning was exhausting. Getting to her new living arrangements takes 5% of the book. Paragraph after paragraph of inane description. Stretches of undeveloped plots of soil — farmland isn’t undeveloped that time of year. It’s growing. Another example of inane:
“As I turn onto Oak Lane, it seems the stars continue to align in my favor. Rows of tall trees shade the road. Their swaying limbs beckon to me as I pass at a crawl. The quiet street is lined with adorable houses separated by large yards. I already appreciate that my neighbors can’t peer directly into my windows from the comfort of their living room. Manicured lawns, blooming flower gardens, and pruned bushes showcase a level of care that’s often absent where I come from. My initial impression of this environment gives me a warm and inviting vibe. I’m willing to admit that a dose of whimsy is already sweeping over me.”
Why are the stars aligning? Why whimsy? What’s whimsical about it? Beckon, showcase, sweeping. What is this paragraph trying to show? Cause that’s a lot to unpack.
It’s like it tries too hard. Like a thesaurus vomited on every sentence. Like Dickens got paid per word. It’s hailed as banter by most of the 5 star reviews, except it’s the same voice for every character.
She can reach everywhere by foot btw. Walking to the grocery store a couple of miles. Everything is close. So they all walk. Did you just get an eerie chill?? Snort.
“Short jaunt, as always. You’ll discover everything is super close together around here.” I shake my head at the case of déjà vu. Reeve told me the same, using very similar words. An eerie chill snakes down my spine, but I’m not creeped out. It just goes to show how accurate the description is.”
Why an eerie chill? Eerie but not creepy. By the way eerie is “strange and frightening”… what the hell is frightening BUT NOT CREEPY about hearing a second person in a small town say it’s a small fucking town? There is a serious language breakdown here.
The book actually has Friends’ references. That’s good for a few paragraphs. But it’s not the author’s banter. It’s borrowed.
He has to widen his stance constantly because of the boner.
Eleven references to small town. That’s just the words “small town” - there are a lot more reminders that we’re in a small town.
They drink a lot. More filler.
At a sort of street fair farmers market - bimonthly even, we get more description…
“Growing up just north of these parts, I’m aware that the oppressive heat will only get more intense as the summer peaks. Not that I could forget, with beams of unforgiving rays scorching my scalp.”
Wow. It gets hotter as you get into summer? Amazing. Beams of unforgiving scorching. Thesaurus vomit.
“Glancing from left to right shows several options for sale. Stands featuring a rainbow assortment of gifts and goodies beckon me closer, displaying their wares across the open walls.”
More beckoning. Wtf are open walls?
Which reminds me. There is ZERO ANGST. Seriously. The worst thing these people have to worry about is the rumor mill. And they actually don’t give a shit about that.
Five references to resting dick face. Euw.
Bottom line I didn’t like the writing style. But it was in English so a point for that. I feel like it was a bait and switch on the blurb also. What I expected to be sweet and angsty was wordy and a bit drunk. So there ya go....more
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