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my rating |
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| 9781633752511
| 3.66
| 1,850
| Apr 19, 2015
| Apr 28, 2015
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did not like it
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1 star Wow. Just wow. Having read this author before, and being naturally attracted to this premise, I honestly didn't expect this to be such a load of 1 star Wow. Just wow. Having read this author before, and being naturally attracted to this premise, I honestly didn't expect this to be such a load of horse shit. But it was. Honestly, it's like a meager half percentage point above Fifty Shades of Grey: PWP erotica, with a definite dominance aspect (though thankfully no abuse), with a power imbalance (he's her company's co-owner), based purely on physical attraction. These characters do not have personalities. Honestly, they meet at her desk when she has an IT problem, and then it's just physical attraction, gushing, obsession, and the "I love you"s and "I've never felt this way"s aren't far off. Why? Couldn't tell you. They don't spend a single second getting to know each other. I read quite a bit of romance nowadays but it's been ages since I've felt quite this ashamed of reading such a book. I expected way more from Megan Erickson. The nerdy details and jokes couldn't save this. At all. ...more |
Notes are private!
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1
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Nov 13, 2016
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Nov 14, 2016
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Aug 26, 2016
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ebook
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| 144242673X
| 9781442426733
| 144242673X
| 4.02
| 389,247
| May 26, 2015
| May 26, 2015
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did not like it
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1 star God - fucking - dammit. I think my review of To All the Boys I've Loved Before made it exceedingly obvious that I adored that book. I shouted my 1 star God - fucking - dammit. I think my review of To All the Boys I've Loved Before made it exceedingly obvious that I adored that book. I shouted my love from the rooftops. I couldn't wait to dive into the sequel and have more of the happy shippy feels that so delighted me. BUT NO. THIS. FREAKING. SUCKS. [image] At the end of To All the Boys I've Loved Before, we are left on a pretty exciting and promising cliffhanger: Lara Jean finally admits to having feelings for Peter and maybe they can happen for real. Misunderstandings notwithstanding, he makes her happy, and that's worth an actual shot. So she writes him another letter - which you soon learn is made of cuteness - but then the drama quickly follows. It's not happy times for Peter and Lara Jean. No. Peter is still friends with Gen, his ex and the one-dimensional mean girl who makes Lara Jean's life miserable. Gen can't seem to let Peter go, and he lets it slide because of mysterious things happening in her personal life. Yeah, they were friends for a long time, and maybe Gen doesn't feel that close to anyone else, but if your girlfriend feels uncomfortable with this, you need to AT LEAST meet her halfway. Instead he runs off to Gen the second she calls and leaves Lara Jean in the dark. That's. Wait. What? [image] There's arguably a reason for Gen's meanness - the personal stuff she's working through - but it's nowhere near good enough for Lara Jean to forgive her or for Peter to keep taking her side. Seriously, when it becomes abundantly clear that Gen leaked a video of Lara Jean and Peter making out in a hot tub onto the internet - which looks like they might even be having sex - leading to cyberbullying and actual bullying for Lara Jean? Yeah. No. That shit will never fly with me. Nothing excuses Gen's total bitch moves in this book. Peter is almost the complete opposite of who he was in the first book. He's withdrawn, inattentive, and he pushes Lara Jean away. Lara Jean makes some excuses for him, but arguably when the two are together, they have some cute moments. But there's so much tension building throughout the story, and it's untenable. This book pushed me to start to resent Peter (as much as my head didn't want to), to become tired of Lara Jean's (rightful) jealousy, and to believe the relationship was absolutely doomed to fail. So much drama. WAIT - SERIOUSLY - I DIDN'T SIGN ON FOR THAT. [image] And Josh, the other angle on the love triangle in the previous book? Swept under the table and almost never heard from again. But, we couldn't just let the romantic drama die there, right? NO. Lara Jean has to have another beau come into her life - the last recipient of her love letters: John. John comes out of nowhere, pretty much, and as he lives in a different district, he barely gets any page-time. But when he's there he's being the perfect gentleman (seriously, no negative or complex elements to his personality that we know of; completely adhering to Lara Jean's idealized image of him from three years ago) and he clearly indicates that after so many years, he still has feelings for Lara Jean. YOU CAN'T MAKE ME SWITCH SHIPS THIS LATE IN THE GAME. Honestly, this guy is here being the quintessential good guy, while Peter's being a douche, pretty much. You feel such an urge to just say, fuck the douche, Lara Jean, and be with this guy. (EVEN THOUGH PETER FREAKING KAVINSKY WOULD NEVER BE SUCH A DOUCHE.) John may be completely boring, but at least he's honest with you. But THEN, at the end of the day, Lara Jean decides she's REALLY in love with Peter, and though they don't actually talk about any of their ten billion ISSUES and just retcon a lot of shit instead, they stay... together. Seriously. Wut. [image] This book is for the people who believe that exes can (and should be able to) be friends, that drama is almost a charming part of life, that fighting serves to make a relationship stronger (even if it's not actually resolved *grumble grumble*), that teenagers do stupid shit - and that that kind of realism is fun to read about. Now I'm not saying that I don't like any of those things at certain times, but the combination was deadly and completely the opposite of the first book. This book made me confused, sad, and angry, and I expected happiness. The banter disappeared, Peter was no longer swoon-worthy, and all I got was 337 pages of (arguably avoidable) drama. That's... not what I wanted. Seriously, if all these characters insist on being so stupid and drama-laden, they deserve to all just die alone. [image] Summing Up: P.S. I Still Love You is absolutely one of my biggest disappointments of the year. It reached soap opera levels of drama, and it took a massive surge of willpower to not just toss it into the garbage with 30 pages left, never to be finished. I did finish it, but I'm not at all happy. This is the kind of sequel book that I'm going to sell secondhand and then pretend never happened. To All the Boys I've Loved Before was a standalone. Right? RIGHT?! Right. Okay bye. GIF it to me straight! [image] ...more |
Notes are private!
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1
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Oct 04, 2015
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Oct 06, 2015
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Sep 04, 2015
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Hardcover
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| 3.61
| 680
| Jun 26, 2014
| Jun 26, 2014
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did not like it
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1 star I guess this is karma, right? I read Catching Liam and I was totally in love - filled with hope for more NA books I could completely fall in lov 1 star I guess this is karma, right? I read Catching Liam and I was totally in love - filled with hope for more NA books I could completely fall in love with - and then the SAME AUTHOR just has to ruin everythinggggggggg. Teaching Roman is just blah. So bad, it's almost hilarious but for the fact that I want to cry. I can't even believe the sheer stupidity that happened in this book. But I'll try to keep calm and explain. [image] My basic problem with Teaching Roman is that it is nothing but sex. And I like my sexy scenes every once in a while - the slew of NA titles I went through in March will attest to that. But this relationship has no development, no emotion, no reason. Jess and Roman are attracted to each other physically, but I swear, NOTHING else about their relationship is developed. And thus it becomes a steaming pile of sappy crap that just makes me craugh if not rage. And that's about all I can say without spoiling the whole book. WARNING: The following spoils all the events of Teaching Roman. You have been warned. I just cannot talk about its ridiculousness otherwise. So Teaching Roman had a foundation in Catching Liam - where one certain scene made clear that Jess had a crush on her ex-professor. Now, I'm generally pretty okay with student-teacher relationships when done well, and especially since in this instance he was NO LONGER her professor, I didn't feel like a power imbalance would keep me from shipping it at all. But. I never got on board this ship. The book starts out that Jess breaks up with her boyfriend Brett because he proposed to her and she realized she wasn't really in love with him. I thought for about 5 seconds that I could relate to Jess, because I've also always been the studious type with a "5 year plan" who maybe stuck to the safe choices that ensured that plan. A passionate relationship hasn't really occurred for me. But that's about all of the character depth that we even get for Jess. At a certain point in the story she mentions off hand that her dad died when she was young. And my reaction was, "wait, WHAT?!" Jess = studious. That is her only character trait. I feel like I don't even know her. [image] But, okay, she is newly single, and her best friend Cassie is also single after being cheated on, so the two go off to Mexico for a week-long vacation. At the airport, they run into the ex-professor, Roman, who is coincidentally going to the same place. In this first scene, he already seems to be mentally undressing Jess, and they exchange flirty comments. Cassie notices and teases Jess that she should hook up with him. Jess brushes it off. When they arrive at the airport, Roman is being picked up by his grandmother, and he introduces Jess as she was standing right there. The grandmother seems to instantly think they're in a relationship or going to be or well they're going to be together forever. Er... okay. Jess's luggage gets stolen and Roman shortly runs after the guy, so she thinks he's kind of heroic and then the two part. Later that day, Cassie is completely wasted - her goal for the vacation - and almost gets arrested, so Jess calls Roman for help. (She doesn't speak Spanish and didn't have any cash.) Roman helps her out and gets Cassie back to their hotel safely... and then he and Jess kiss. And they have sex. And they agree to have a one week fling on their vacation, with the promise that "what happens in Mexico, stays in Mexico." At this point the book kind of fast forwards from sex scene to sex scene. Any actual conversation between the two is pretty much omitted, so I feel like this relationship is purely physical. However, even the sex scenes are completely bland to me. Apparently there's some spanking and biting in their relationship but... [image] Notably one of the most awkward scenes is when Roman invites Jess over for dinner at his grandmother's place. They almost have sex in the kitchen. And I swear, I am not joking about the next part. He fingers her, but he had been cutting up peppers, so when they start actually having sex, their genitals are pretty much on fire and they have to stop. Yeah. That's so awkward. And not even funny awkward. Just cringe-cry-sigh-wince awkward. Which isn't helped by the fact that after they get themselves cleaned up, the grandmother is waiting for them and knew what they were doing and suggests for them to keep some milk on hand in the future. I swear to god I'm not kidding. [image] In some of the very brief dialogue that takes place in this novel, Roman indicates that the second Jess walked into his classroom, he knew she was everything he wanted in the world. And that it was therefore tortuous that she was his student. She will think endlessly on how handsome and whatever Roman is. But I never got the sense they actually got to know each other. I honestly don't know anything about Roman aside from the fact that he's close with his grandmother and apparently has a smoking hot body. Seriously. They are that undeveloped. Okay, so the week ends, and Jess has to go back to college, and per their agreement their involvement will end. On their last night, Jess prevents Roman saying, "I love you," but the sentiment is obvious. Then. Of course. One of my favorite (/sarcasm) plot elements: Jess has a pregnancy scare. Jillian butts in and calls Roman so he can be with her when she takes the test, and then he confesses that he loves her, he will always love her, and no matter what he wants to stand by her side. Well, haha, the test is negative. But yeah. They decide to actually give the relationship a shot - because, yeah, they're in love. Ugh. The book then speeds through a couple months of them in a relationship which mostly consists of studying together in private and having sex in between. They then make the stupid fucking mistake of going to a bar together, where of course Jess's jealous ex-boyfriend sees them together, and he reports them to the dean and the Student Ethics Committee. This is a student-teacher relationship book, so obviously this was a necessary cliché. [image] Roman then freaks out about potentially losing his job - but more importantly not being able to finish his PhD - which makes Jess think that he regrets their relationship and thinks it's just a physical thing not worth more trouble, and drama drama drama. She offers to transfer to a different school so they'll both be okay, but he refuses, she cries, and drama drama drama. They break up. HUZZAH! But I was not rejoicing for long. Jess still has to go before the Student Ethics Committee, where her lawyer sister helps her out, getting the case dismissed by insisting that they got together after she took his course, and they are both students and consenting adults. Roman is there and afterwards tries to win her back. He pushed her away before because he didn't want her to sacrifice her academics. He came prepared to offer to resign if it looked like she would get expelled. But Jess doubts his love for her and runs away again. But then. If only the book had ended then. No... then, Jess finds out that Roman rushed off to Mexico because he got a call that his grandmother was dying. She obviously goes after him. Her sister gives her a lift to the airport, where she pretty much tells her to, "go for love! I had one chance at a romance and I let it slip away, and now as a result I'm married to my job." The feminist in me is screaming. Her sister is twenty-freaking-six. And being ambitious in your work is fine. For fuck's sake, can we stop spreading this idea that you are incomplete without a romantic partner???? And that if you don't marry that one true love in college you'll end up a spinster????? [image] Yeah, you probably see where this is going now. Jess finds Roman at the airport and they are reunited. In Mexico, they rush to the hospital and his grandmother - who barely fucking knows Jess and had seen them like twice - is delighted to see her. Jess herself had said earlier that, "Aba would expect to see me." FOR FUCKING WHAT REASON!?! She also muses to herself that she can't remember the exact moment when she fell in love with Roman, but for a certainty she knew why. BUT THEN DOESN'T EXPLAIN WHY AND I WAS KIND OF HOPING SHE WOULD BECAUSE I DON'T FUCKING KNOW. Fine, after an afternoon with grandma, they go back to the hotel where Roman tells Jess he snuck her into the hospital room by saying she was his wife (it was family only). And. Of course. This made him realize how natural it sounded. And how much he wanted it. And then he proposes. And he doesn't even let her answer because he knows her answer. And then he says he wants to get married tomorrow. And I wish I were fucking kidding. [image] Jess is overjoyed Yeah. That all happened. I'm not kidding. I don't like instalove. I don't like rushing into a romance without having that foundation. There was NO foundation here, aside from the hint that Jess liked Roman in Catching Liam. I don't like early I love yous. I don't like lust-based relationships - at least, not when there's never any development on top of that. I don't like cardboard characters. I don't like pregnancy scares. I don't like jealous ex-boyfriends. I don't like marriage being treated like a totally normal, accepted thing when altogether the two have been together for max 3 months. FOR. FUCK'S. SAKE. [image] The only thing this book even remotely had going for it was the friendship between Jess, Jillian and Cassie - but then Jillian and Cassie apparently found out about Jess's spontaneous marriage - weren't fucking mad about it despite Jess not telling them at all - and surprised them with a deluxe villa for their wedding night. Real friends. Would not support. Such. Fucking. Bullshit. [image] Screw you, book. Screw you. Summing Up: This book is ridiculous. And stupid. And bad. And aggravating. Thoroughly undeveloped and unromantic. And Jess is supposed to be the fucking SMART one in the group. *concussion-worthy headdesk* To be clear, I still would say Catching Liam is worthy reading, but definitely skip this one. It's not as enraging as other NA books which promote abusive relationships and possessive love interests, I guess, but it's just so undeveloped. I'm amazed that anyone thought this was worth hitting the publish button. I mean, if the sex scenes were REALLY FUCKING HOT that would maybe be a reason, but even those weren't that good! I'm just stunned and thoroughly disappointed. I will, however, tentatively be checking out the next book in the series when it's released, hoping that Albin got all of these awful tropes out of her system now, because I know she can do so much better. GIF it to me straight! [image] Recommended To: Don't even. ...more |
Notes are private!
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1
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Mar 18, 2015
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Mar 19, 2015
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Mar 16, 2015
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ebook
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| 0062368567
| 9780062368560
| 0062368567
| 3.43
| 1,861
| Sep 06, 2016
| Sep 06, 2016
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did not like it
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1 star How... did we end up... here. After loving Brodi's Everneath series and her latest co-writing adventures in My Lady Jane ... Between all 1 star How... did we end up... here. After loving Brodi's Everneath series and her latest co-writing adventures in My Lady Jane ... Between all of that, I figured this was an author that couldn't possibly lose my love. But I guess there are still some surprises to be had in the world. Diplomatic Immunity just wasn't good. So this is a story of the uber-privileged kids in Washington D.C. Piper winds up at their school on a special scholarship and hopes that it'll be able to get her a win in a journalism competition that would get her a college scholarship. Considering her family's financial struggles, it's a dire need, and Piper has long had an affinity and love for journalism, so she ends up wanting to do an exposé of the lives of these privileged kids of rich guys and diplomats. Well, what could possibly go wrong with that idea? [image] First things first: Piper is hopeless as a journalist. I mean, an exposé of these lives is a pretty good story. But before she even starts, she already gets too attached to the people - mostly Raf, the super charming and literally "exotic" son of a Spanish diplomat. Honestly, he's kind of a douche. But from the first page, basically, it's obvious they're going to be a thing. She still throughout the whole story thinks that she can write a story about him, exposing secrets he only tells her, and that he would never find out slash be totally cool with it. She doesn't know shit about gathering good sources, writing fairly and representing both sides... for a hardcore journalism piece it sure sounds a lot more like tabloid gossip. And as the world's biggest fan of The Newsroom I basically take personal offense to it. Piper's voice is incredibly annoying. She does this thing where she has an internal monologue about something or other and then suddenly says the next line of her thoughts out loud. This honestly happens five or more times. NOBODY DOES THAT. IT'S SO STUPID. IT'S NOT CUTE OR FUNNY. IT'S PATHETIC. And as a journalist, it's horrible. Because she almost blurts out what she's working on or how she's trying to get information out of people. She can't lie, or at least tell convincing cover stories. I wanted to bash my head against a wall because honestly. [image] The romance is god-awful. Seriously, I see zero appeal in Raf, and it was a pretty big NOTP for me from the first encounter. Obviously this is because they simultaneously lie to each other and reveal too much at other times. It's just dumb. And dramatic. And not at all swoony. And Piper gets so dumb when it comes to him. She waffles back and forth about the article based on how they interacted with each other on that particular day. And then she drools all over him with such brilliant commentary as the following... "I briefly imagined scrubbing clothes clean on his washboard abs, and I was going to mention the idea, but I still had just enough wits about me to keep the thought to myself." [image] I honestly wanted to barf. Multiple times. "I wanted to savor every tidbit with Rafael. It was like a good book, one I'd been waiting for and anticipating, and once I'd gotten it in my hands, I couldn't bear to read one single page because that would be one fewer page I would get to read. [image] However, maybe the most disappointing thing of all is that from reading the premise, you basically already know 100% how this story is going to go. And it goes exactly the way you think. It's actually astonishing that Piper still thinks her story wouldn't obviously be by her when it contains information only she knows and photos only she was there to take. She's actually surprised by peoples' reactions to the story. "I was pretty sure successful reporters weren't supposed to lose every single friend afterward." Bitch, what did you think was going to happen??? Against all the odds, the romance of course manages to survive, but it seals it with a quote so disgusting that I don't even understand who exactly was supposed to find it romantic. "I ran to him and he picked me up and kissed my face all over and I kissed his face off. Clean off." [image] Summing Up: This book is a disaster. I normally try to reserve judgment and claim that a book is just "not for me" but may in fact work for somebody else. But on this rare occasion I feel like I can say that qualitatively, this book just isn't good. I don't know who would actually like it. Just... no. Diplomatic Immunity, I'm sorry. But it's not me, it's you. GIF it to me straight! [image] *An electronic advance review copy was provided by the publisher in exchange for an honest review. This does not affect my opinion of the book or the contents of the review... Clearly. ...more |
Notes are private!
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1
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Aug 08, 2016
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Aug 09, 2016
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Jan 23, 2015
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Hardcover
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| 0142428175
| 9780142428177
| 0142428175
| 4.37
| 291,558
| Dec 07, 2010
| Dec 07, 2010
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did not like it
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1 star [image] In spite of this somewhat happy achievement of finishing a series, Last Sacrifice was one of the most painful things for me to read. Nay, 1 star [image] In spite of this somewhat happy achievement of finishing a series, Last Sacrifice was one of the most painful things for me to read. Nay, listen to. Listen to. And check out the book info - yeah SEVENTEEN HOURS LONG. Painfully long, horrendously boring, and leading to the most clichéd and sickening ending. I should have stopped after book 3. I honestly do not know why I did this to myself. It's one of the worst decisions I've ever made. I don't even really want to talk about this anymore because for the majority of listening to this audiobook, I was yelling, "FUCK YOU ROSE!" out loud and making gagging sounds and I don't want to relive a single second of it. But, okay, here are some THINGS you have to accept if you have any hopes of liking this book and, ultimately, this series. 1. Dimitri is a GOD. And Rose will remind you of this any chance she gets. He is the strongest fighter ever. He has a god-like body. And obviously his god status absolves him of anything he did in Siberia. He was not himself. (view spoiler)[Indeed, Rose killing Victor was MUCH worse than any of the things Dimitri did. Victor was just a stand up guy, after all. (hide spoiler)] Dimitri is flawless. (Admittedly, I also have extreme difficulty finding him even remotely attractive because of the creepy and cringeworthy Russian accent the narrator gives him.) 2. Rose is the best ever. She's not annoying at all. She's hot, and every guy understandably falls at her feet. The guy at the crazy hippie commune instaloving all over her? Yeah, that was cool. I can totally get that. And it's not like she selfishly uses everyone around her to further her own and Lissa's agenda. Adrian, Jill, they're just peasants compared to Rose - tools to be used. And she makes great speeches, especially when getting to dramatically reveal a surprise murderer, and no, that certain murderer's relative didn't deserve to get a heads up about that. 3. Rose and Dimitri are (view spoiler)[meant to be together. (hide spoiler)] (view spoiler)[They are the perfect match. There is no equal. Chemistry? Meh. That guy kidnapped and tortured you? Meh. His personality isn't super boring either. He's a god and their souls are linked so none of this matters. (hide spoiler)] 4. Adrian? (view spoiler)[I mean he's nice. But he's not Dimitri. So that makes it completely okay to cheat on him. (hide spoiler)] (view spoiler)[I can't keep up my sarcasm for this point because I wanted to smash shit into walls when Rose honestly CHEATS on Adrian. Not that her emotional cheating all the time before that was okay, and yeah, the way she was using him just because she couldn't bare to be alone for five seconds also pissed me off. But she CHEATS on him. She has SEX with Dimitri, while in a relationship with Adrian. And then she hardly feels guilty about it at all, because, I mean, come on, it's Dimitri, and we're made for each other, and I'll just deal with Adrian later - after he's of no more use to me. When she finally has that conversation with him and he is RIGHTFULLY outraged, she has the nerve to sound like the most condescending bitch in the world. I hate you, Rose. I seriously hate you. You don't deserve even a shred of Adrian's love. (hide spoiler)] 5. Lissa is goodness incarnate. And that makes her so cool and interesting. Man, it's so awesome when characters are completely freaking flawless and perfect. That didn't make the plot here completely predictable as fuck. It made Lissa the opposite of the most boring character ever. I would totally give my life to protect her. SHE COMES FIRST. 6. Stories that drag on and on and on are super awesome. 17 hours is still pretty short in my eyes. And I mean, it was only like 70% romantic melodrama. God how I wish there had been more. Summing Up: This book pissed me the fuck off. Clearly. I can't even with this shit. You don't read Richelle Mead books for plot. It was so thin here, and it dragged on for ages. The twists and conclusions were either completely predictable (and thus boring) or pulled out of thin air with no basis and probably leaving plenty of plot holes behind. But I wouldn't even know that, because I stopped caring. You read Richelle Mead books for romance, and if you are not on the right ship, you will continually want to vomit your brains out. I thought I would be excited to be able to move on to Bloodlines now, and I still think I have a better chance of liking that series, but I need a break. I need space. It's not you, it's me. I just need the right kind of balance in my life. And other break-up clichés that Rose uses unironically. GIF it to me straight! Last Sacrifice, more like... [image] Recommended To: People who are on THE RIGHT SHIP. The cliché ship. The boring as fuck ship. Yeah. ...more |
Notes are private!
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1
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Sep 21, 2014
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Oct 19, 2014
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Aug 19, 2014
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Audio CD
| ||||||||||||||
| 0062272594
| 9780062272591
| B00FJ378RG
| 3.53
| 4,990
| Apr 30, 2014
| May 06, 2014
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did not like it
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0 stars I've put off writing this review for almost a month. I just didn't want to put my rage pants on, but now, with the release approaching, I must 0 stars I've put off writing this review for almost a month. I just didn't want to put my rage pants on, but now, with the release approaching, I must do it. I must finally open up and be honest about all the different ways that this book infuriated me. So get a drink and a snack, strap yourself in, because we'll be here a while. Let me start this off with a quiz: 1. Are you a fan of Europe? Traveling? Exploring different cultures? 2. Are you opposed to instalove? 3. Does stalker behavior creep you out at all? 4. Do you feel like parents should be given the tiniest bit of respect? Congratulations! If you answered YES to any of the above, this book will piss you off. Becca is a terrible main character who hates Europe. I'm not even kidding about the amount of Europe hatred that goes on here. All Becca does is bitch and moan and bitch and moan. Her dad and stepmom have DRAGGED her across the ocean for a trip across Europe, I mean how dare they. It's all HISTORICAL stuff and ew, yuck, why won't they move on and live in the present? Think I'm kidding? Apparently it was a loop around the center of Vienna, but all Becca knew was that the tour guide droned on endlessly about long dead musicians, old buildings, and more history than anyone should ever have to hear. From what Becca could gather, some family named Habsburg seemed to be tied to everything. It's not like she'd ever need to know any of this stuff. She needed fresh air, trees, and grass. - ARC of Royally Lost by Angie Stanton "The kids in Europe must hate history class. These countries go back so freakin' far. At least the U.S. is barely two hundred years old." - ARC of Royally Lost by Angie Stanton As she stood alone among the bustling crowd, all she wanted was something familiar, like an icy cold American Diet Pepsi, french fries, and music that wasn't three hundred years old. She checked out the streets jutting off the square and chose the street where she saw the McDonald's. - ARC of Royally Lost by Angie Stanton And that was all... in Chapter... 3. [image] As a European, as a fan of culture and travel, Becca's attitude just majorly pisses me off. She's surrounded by so much beauty and culture and doesn't respect it even for a second. Her attitude continues for the rest of the book, complaining about everything and generally being a stick in the mud. "Look at all those dishes," Becca said as they entered a room with floor-to-ceiling shelves filled with dishes, pulling his attention back to the present. "No one needs that many plates, and why did they save them? Because honestly, who cares about three-hundred-year-old plates?" [image] Yes, Becca, putting dishes and porcelain work on display in a museum is totally a sign that we in Europe are stuck in the past. Us miserable hicks. I can't believe I have 180 more pages of this stuff. But once she meets Nikolai, everything changes. That's not to say that she suddenly likes Europe - no. But the TRIP was worthwhile because she met the freaking love of her life. Clearly, the only good thing Europe has to offer the world is its men. Other than the couple of moments of eye candy, Becca hated Europe. - ARC of Royally Lost by Angie Stanton Becca couldn't believe her luck. Maybe she was supposed to come to Europe to find a decent guy. - ARC of Royally Lost by Angie Stanton She had started out this trip hating Europe. But then she met the most amazing guy on the planet. - ARC of Royally Lost by Angie Stanton [image] This romance is absolute sickening instalove. Nikolai first by coincidence runs into Becca twice. Being the kindhearted prince that he is, he offers to show her around. But actually he's just a creepy stalker. "No. I'm not following you." Nikolai laughed. But he might like to. She seemed nice and was certainly beautiful. - ARC of Royally Lost by Angie Stanton That was after their second encounter. Excuse me while I barf and also RUN LIKE HELL IN THE OPPOSITE DIRECTION. That shit is not romantic. But fine, he feels a "connection" to her, so he tries to keep up with their tour group so they can hang out together. Within days such wonderful bombs as the following get dropped: "You're different from any other girl I've met." - ARC of Royally Lost by Angie Stanton "I love the idea of chasing you around Europe, but at some point I need to figure out how to get my life under control, before I create an international incident." Be careful, Becca. Your co-dependence is showing. Oh, but let's not forget my favorite: He played with a lock of her hair. "If there's one thing I can say about you, it's that you're an eternal optimist." This is said completely without sarcasm, after Becca tells him he shouldn't be so hard on himself. Um. Nikolai, please reflect on previous shown passages of Becca's MEGA BITCHY ATTITUDE. WHAT ABOUT THAT SAYS ETERNAL OPTIMIST? I CAN'T FIND A SINGLE OPTIMISTIC THOUGHT - except, I guess, about you. Okay, I guess I can maybe see how this confusion arose. Maybe. But on the fourth or fifth day of knowing each other, the good stuff starts coming in. "I can't imagine tomorrow without you. I never knew I could fall for someone so fast." - ARC of Royally Lost by Angie Stanton "I thought I was running away, but it turns out I was running to you. Becca, you've made my life worth living again and now I have to leave you. This is killing me. I've never felt this way about anyone before. Ever." - ARC of Royally Lost by Angie Stanton [image] Change the might to definitely will because I'm so over this. This is the sappiest load of instalove I have ever had to witness in my miserable life and every drop of it makes me sick. This is not how relationships work. And they don't even have an electrifying chemistry to fall back on either. All they do is kiss and hold hands a couple times. Even when they're traveling alone in hostels and stuff, no serious making out, no sex. "You've made my life worth living again" because of what? My bitchy attitude? How I've torn your continent to shreds with my words? With my timid little kiss? FUCK OFF. Becca is the most ungrateful bitch ever to her parents. "Right about now they are probably downing their second glass of chardonnay with lunch. After that they're going to some summer home or fourth residence of the eighteenth King of 'I Couldn't Care Less,' and then a classical concert designed to put even the most caffeinated history fanatics to sleep." The above is one example of how Becca and her brother, Dylan, take complete advantage of their parents. And it's a conversation that strangely gets repeated almost to the DOT three pages later - a mistake I hope DEARLY gets fixed in the last round of edits. But basically, all throughout this book, Becca and Dylan skip out on their parents. She couldn't wait to escape the daily annoyance of spending time with her dad and Vicky. They were not a family unit and never would be. - ARC of Royally Lost by Angie Stanton Well not with that attitude. This is what bothers me. She complains the entire book about how her stepmother drags her on this trip because she's trying to get the family to spend more time together. Then she and her brother keep bailing on the plans and sneaking off to do their own thing and she pities herself because they're not a real family. Are you kidding me??? [image] I get that having a distant family is tough. Her dad is occupied with work all the time. BUT THAT'S WHY YOU MAKE TRIPS LIKE THESE COUNT. IS IT YOUR DAD THAT'S SNEAKING OFF AND DITCHING YOU? NO. IT'S YOU, BITCH. HE'S TRYING, HE KEEPS ASKING, AND YOU KEEP TURNING HIM DOWN. The absolute worst part is towards the end of their boat trip. Their parents had arranged that they would spend a few days in Munich together, but Dylan found some college students to party with and Becca wants to stay with Nikolai. Their stepmother has been cheerfully preaching about how awesome it is to go backpacking through Europe after high school - so they decide to ask them if they can go "backpacking together" while they really just sneak off to do their own stuff. Unsurprisingly, the parents, who have been shafted this entire trip and still want to get some family time in, say no. And the TANTRUM Becca throws then. I mean HOW DARE they say no to this completely reasonable offer??? [image] BUT THAT'S NOT ALL. Then her dad gets called back on business, but they can't all fit on the same plane. So the dad and stepmother fly back one day and Becca and Dylan are booked for the next day, but those ungrateful bitches switch the tickets for three days later so they can go along with their original plan. SO MUCH RAGE. SUCH ANGER. MUCH GRRR. I don't have the best relationship with my parents, BUT YOU DON'T FUCKING PULL SHIT LIKE THIS. (Though also: stupid move of the parents. So much stupid in one book. I cannot even.) The ending is a catastrophically happy one. After mishaps on Becca's journey alone with Nikolai, they get separated when he is kidnapped back to his country. I'm not even getting into how stupid it was for him to run away, and what a double standard he holds when his little sister copies his behavior, and how effortlessly he comes back at the end with policy ideas that no one in the government had apparently thought of before, despite them being really simple, because WHO HAS THAT KIND OF TIME and OH MY GOD THIS REVIEW IS ALREADY TOO LONG. But basically they get separated and I cheered. Then they try to find each other and I groaned. Then Becca is the most idiotic MC I've ever encountered, with the following gem: "Have you tried to contact him?" Vicky stared at the photo of Nikolai. Seriously bitch? Seriously? You can't believe that the royal family isn't posting their email or PHONE NUMBER online? "Hello, Operator? I'd like to speak to the Prince of Mondovia?" GET A FUCKING CLUE. THE WORLD DOESN'T WORK LIKE THIS. But ugh ugh ugh, after EVENTS and THINGS and more of Nikolai's STALKER BEHAVIOR, they find each other and HAPPILY EVER AFTER, EVERYTHING IS GOOD AGAIN. [image] Summing Up: No. Bad. Run. GIF it to me straight! [image] *ARC was provided by the publisher in exchange for an honest review. This does not affect my opinion of the book or the contents of the review. CLEARLY. ...more |
Notes are private!
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1
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Mar 26, 2014
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Mar 28, 2014
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Dec 03, 2013
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Kindle Edition
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| 1444914464
| 9781444914467
| 1444914464
| 3.61
| 883
| Jan 02, 2014
| Jan 02, 2014
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did not like it
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1 star *exhales* First off, NO. I had to get that out of the way. I tried really hard to like Witch Finder. I went in with the lowest expectations poss 1 star *exhales* First off, NO. I had to get that out of the way. I tried really hard to like Witch Finder. I went in with the lowest expectations possible, because several of my reader friends were reading it just before I did and warned me that it didn't look that good. A pity, because I still absolutely adore the cover. But, as it was a review copy, I went ahead and read it anyway. For the most part, I was not amused. [image] I received this review copy rather late and was in a bit of a reading slump, so to still have my review up reasonably on time, I read most of it in one sitting. A good thing too, because if I had put it down more than once, I can't promise that I would have picked it back up again. Reading it in one sitting also helped to engross me in the story, so much so that I was quite enjoying the middle part of it and debated whether it was worth 3 stars. But overall... no. So Witch Finder promises us the story of a witch, Rosa, and a witch hunter, Luke, who is assigned to kill her as an initiation into a brotherhood of witch hunters. The plot, however, is stretched terribly thin. The beginning and end were rather boring and strayed into the realm of, "Huh? What?" Luke is on a mission to kill Rosa. You'd think there'd be more suspicion, plotting, etc., but no. He makes a couple attempts and quickly realizes he cares too much for Rosa, she's too much of an ordinary girl, for him to kill her. But where is the plot aside from that? I kept reading, trying to find it, but there was just no driving force to the story. A new plot arc is introduced in the last quarter of the book, and it was just really disjointed. [image] The world for that matter also made no sense to me. While it is our world in 1880, magic is in the world, and in the first couple chapters it's said that this is common knowledge. That fact is hardly used at all in the book. Sure, the witches are in hiding, and there's this secret brotherhood trying to kill them all, but ordinary people seem like they don't know witches exist, when according to the earlier chapters they should. And where do politics come in? There's some political body mentioned a few times, but no laws about witchcraft or anything. It was just so much missed potential. *sigh* The magic that is used in the book is also hardly noteworthy. Since Rosa has to be discrete about her magic around the house (given the normal human servants), the only spells we ever really see in this book are for things like starting a fire, mending some clothes, and making stains disappear. I mean really. [image] But for what it's worth, I did enjoy the romance between Luke and Rosa. It's the reason why I really enjoyed the middle of the book. I guess the way that Luke struggled with his fear of becoming a killer and his growing feelings for her did manage to touch my ice cold heart somehow. It wasn't instalove, really, although they do hop quickly to "I love you". That, however, I more or less accepted as part of the time period and of the dire circumstances they kept tumbling into. So I appreciated the romance, and it was probably the highlight of the book. My largest issue with this book is the rampant and blatant sexism and female oppression. You might say, "Well, duh, Debby, it's set in 1880." Yes, I know, this is set in our world more or less (plus a tiny bit of magic) and that was basically the scene in the 19th century. Female oppression was a thing. It happened, certainly. But does that mean I want to read about it? Not exactly. Does that mean it should be blatantly shoved in my face like this? No. You're putting magic in this world, couldn't you have chilled a tiny bit on the living standards for females? Even if it's realistic, this crossed the line into serious uncomfortable territory. So Rosa is from a family with good standing who recently lost all their fortune. Basically, their last hope is for Rosa to get married to a rich husband. They have their eye on Sebastian, another witch and long time family friend. Alexis, Rosa's brother, from the very start of the book commands Rosa around to do precisely as he says and more or less orders her to seduce Sebastian. Her mother basically does the same. Alexis is a prick and her mother actually slaps her for disobeying her. But Sebastian... oh, Sebastian, it turns out, is the hugest dick to ever grace this planet. On pretty much their first "date", he whips his dog to death for being disobediant. Rosa, after this, understandably is freaked the fuck out by him. She can hardly contain her fear. Her family tells her to get over it, because it was "just a dog". He then quickly, for whatever reason, decides that yes, he wants to marry Rosa. (Honestly I still can't understand this, because all throughout the book they mention that almost everyone knows that their family is broke, so why on earth would he want to marry her anyway? They don't have a good banter or talk much before he proposes anyway.) Then, he slips this ring on her finger that he magically tightens until she can never take it off. He starts referring to her as "his" and commanding her around. [image] Every second, she pretty much confesses that she's scared to death of this man. So after she gets engaged, she sneaks off to get some air and finds Luke. Luke has saved her life, and long story short, they kiss. Sebastian catches them, and BEATS HER TO A BLOODY PULP. He yells at her, screams that he'll kill her. This man is a raging psychopath. Words cannot describe the rage. [image] Do they break up after this? No. He doesn't leave her, even as he yells that he will not tolerate infidelity, and the reasoning is... he loves her? At least, that's what he keeps saying for the rest of the book. I'm still asking why. She has no fortune, which is public knowledge. She has reasonable looks. But he's wealthy as fuck. He surely could have found someone better. And then he could have gotten the fuck out of this book. [image] Like, did this happen, was it realistic in 1880? I'm sure to an extent it is. But that doesn't mean I want it in my books. Honestly, the book should come with a warning label, because there is some MAJOR abuse going on, not just from Sebastian, but also from Rosa's mother and brother. This was not at ALL what I was expecting from this book. It seriously made me uncomfortable, and every time I think about it since, I just have a hot flash of rage. No. Just no. The ending also takes a major cop out. Not only does the villain stupidly reveal his plans to obviously let the two main characters escape safely, but how they escape happens in a toss up ~fade to black~. Thanks to Christina, I've found the apt term for this: Too Stupid To Die. If my earlier rage about female oppression wasn't enough, by this time I was just yelling, "FUCK THIS SHIT," but it was too late to DNF the book. Summing Up: I can't. I just can't. Just no. I tried so hard with this book, and for a while it had me fooled, but that's only because the romance played off my emotions. At most I would maybe have considered giving it 3 stars at some point, but I just can't. While I thought it was an interesting and possibly accurate depiction of the time period, the late 19th century, it's a depiction that just makes me rage. Hence the long review. I just cannot with this book. Can. Not. No. GIF it to me straight! [image] Recommended To: No one. Definitely no feminists. Stay away. *ARC was provided by the publisher via NetGalley. Thank you! This does not affect the rating or content of this review. Clearly. ...more |
Notes are private!
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1
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Dec 30, 2013
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Jan 05, 2014
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Nov 28, 2013
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Paperback
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| 1490322345
| 9781490322346
| 1490322345
| 2.92
| 84
| Jul 13, 2013
| Jul 26, 2013
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did not like it
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0 stars I was duped into reading this book. Plain and simple. I was not alone. However, the warning bells didn't start to go off until I was already pa 0 stars I was duped into reading this book. Plain and simple. I was not alone. However, the warning bells didn't start to go off until I was already past halfway. The fact of the matter is, there are sock puppets promoting this book on Goodreads, and I feel like we need some honest reviews up there (and elsewhere in the reading community) to even the score. I sacrificed myself for you all. [image] To be honest, after the rage-inducing September Girls , I really didn't think it could get any worse. I thought that 0 orange rating was a one-and-only-time thing. I stand corrected. Now at first glance, if you have not yet heard about [image] Here's what it boils down to. Adela Arthur and the Creator's Clock (embarrassingly displaying a grammatical error on the cover) is plagiarism. It is 95% Harry Potter. Now some of you, with a [image] Let me talk you through it. At the beginning, it did not feel like a carbon copy, I'll give you that. Adela is a teen in the modern world, just going through high school, when one day she learns about a world on the other side of mirrors. In fact, a chimera escapes from that world and into her own and kills one of her peers. So far, so good. The writing itself was a bit amateurish, but it being a debut, I was understanding of that. Then, things changed. After the death of Wilhelmina (and seriously at the names in this book), Adela learns about this world, Cielieu. Basically, the world consists of all manner of magical creatures, and she is one herself - a Volsin! SURPRISE. This means that in theory she would be able to control light. Whoohoo. However, the Volsin escaped from that world and into the non-magical world, because they were being hunted down by an evil dude, called [image] Now, why, you might ask. Why is this guy terrorizing everyone? Well now it becomes apparent that solid worldbuilding was not one of the goals in Adela Arthur and the Vaguey Vagueness. Power. That's a good enough reason, right? That's what's put out there at the beginning of the book, and never does it alter along the way. One dimensional villains, check. Prince Delapeur hunts down Volsin and strips them of their light, effectively killing them and absorbing their power for his own. And he killed Adela's parents. Oh and the other thing about Delapeur? "We do not say his name here. We wouldn't want to give him that pleasure." Hmm. That faintly rings a bell. Adela has a vision of Delapeur killing another Volsin, and then for some totally inexplicable reason, decides that it's best for her to travel to the magical world. Despite how her parents pretty much sacrificed themselves to bring her to safety. She feels like she needs to save the world. Or something. I dunno, even that wasn't explained well enough. So I was questioning it at this point, didn't see why she would go there (together with her bookworm best friend [image] Okay, this one's on me, and I should have read the synopsis better, but they cross into Cielieu and then... go to school. ..Yeah, no, go to the extremely dangerous world, and THEN start from scratch learning about your new magical powers. Much more logical than staying in the relative safety of the real world where your grandfather could mentor you. But I digress. They go to school! What's their school like? It's a castle. A magical boarding school. The students, Volsin, are split into four different, hmm, houses, shall we say, according to their type of light. The four are: Sapphire Falls, Emerald Dens, Golden Hives, and Red Diamonds. Those colors look familiar, you say? Hmm, wouldn't know why. In case you're wondering, Golden Hives = Gryffindor, Red Diamonds = Slytherin, Emerald Dens = Ravenclaw, Sapphire Falls = Hufflepuff. Shuffling around the colors makes it not be plagiarism right? Even though the personalities are still pretty much the same? No? Oh. Okay. As you may expect, Adela is a *gasp* Golden Hive. And for the rest, about this school: "Before everything happened, you had to be at least eleven to enter the Castle of Light." — Adela Arthur and the Creator's Clock by Judyann McCole [image] But this light magic makes no sense, and the worldbuilding around it is terrible. Obviously, we couldn't have had wands and regular witch/wizard magic. So Volsin have light in one of four colors according to their true nature, which sorts them into their houses. What can this magic do? Apparently, almost everything but it makes no sense. They can create arrows out of light, and attack that way (because, you know, light has physical properties), and they can create discs out of light on which they can then stand and float away. But some people also have additional, special powers, that are not related to light at all - like that Adela can see the future, and Jeremy can read peoples memories. It's extremely confusing, and all throughout the book, it felt like at any moment, some new magical power or property could appear, all at the author's convenience. But clearly, we're not meant to question any of it. I think Adela herself says it best. Adela would have questioned how they'd gotten the tree in there, but she remembered that she was currently flying on a disc of light and about to go to a magical dining hall where the scenery changed daily. It had taken a lot of effort to stop questioning the things she once thought were impossible. — Adela Arthur and the Creator's Clock by Judyann McCole The teachers in this school are referred to as Lords and Ladies. Because, you know, Professor would almost make you associate this book with Harry Potter, and we can't have that. The headmaster is Lord Elderberry, full name being Elwin Alfred Carnell Alvar Elderberry V. Nothing like Dumbledore at all, no. I mean, here, let's look at some dialogue to prove it: "Even one light in the dark is helpful," lord Elderberry stated as the star-covered ceiling above them dimmed until only one solitary star remained. "And when there are thousands of lights in the darkness, you forget there is darkness at all." With each one of his words, another few stars among the thousands began to shine brighter. — Adela Arthur and the Creator's Clock by Judyann McCole
[image] Now I have no clue why, but I was reminded of this. Lord Elderberry frowned. "Prince Delapeur. His name is Prince Delapeur, and if you feel so adamant about your cause, you should not fear saying his name. He is a Volsin with power that no one can understand. What we cannot understand, we fear, and that is how he gets his power, because we all give him fear to feed upon." — Adela Arthur and the Creator's Clock by Judyann McCole I digress. But, hmm, Adela should have a nemesis from an opposing house too, right? Yeah. Let's just, for the hell of it, make her a Red Diamond. Cue the introduction scene. "I am Scarlet Danewort of the Red Diamonds, and I wanted to personally welcome you, on behalf of all the Diamonds, to the Elpida Castle of Light. Our families were close, and I believe you would like to spend time with a light of higher stature." She sneered toward Fallanita with the last part of her statement before smiling at Adela once again. [image] Draco... what are you doing he-- ... oh. Anyway, so Adela's starting out at school, and the plot line disappears. She's going to classes, and the amateur writing kicks it up a notch. It was extremely hard to follow, because often, without any explanation being given, a new chapter would start out months after the previous chapter. And that would only become apparent halfway through the chapter when they reference a previous event and noted that it was a couple months ago. ... Okay...? But anyway. This school is so original, I mean, they have birds carrying messages, totally original uniforms, the "Message for miss Arthur," the bird sang so softly Adela almost missed it. She could handle the white button-down shirt, the gray sweater, and the sweater vest with the letters GH embroidered on the breast. What she couldn't handle was the skirt. [...] Adela grabbed her white cloak, seamlessly perfect by a suitor elf. — Adela Arthur and the Creator's Clock by Judyann McCole "Stygian Forest?" Hector hissed though his teeth. "How in the world did we get in the one place we're never supposed to go in?" — Adela Arthur and the Creator's Clock by Judyann McCole When she first opened the white book, she didn't find anything odd. That was until she touched one of the pictures. The minute she did, the image leaped off the page and came to life over the book, like a movie. — Adela Arthur and the Creator's Clock by Judyann McCole She opened her book and a shrill scream erupted, causing her to squeal in return. She snapped it shut. — Adela Arthur and the Creator's Clock by Judyann McCole [image] See, if we take the essence of Harry Potter, but then go BEYOND that, it's probably not really plagiarism. Right? No? Okay. Let's focus on the last thing I named in a bit more detail: the school sport. It's called Natorbi. (Quidditch was taken.) They were all starry-eyed by Natorbi, reminding her of Fallanita. — Adela Arthur and the Creator's Clock by Judyann McCole "If all the lights are equal and none is better than others are, then why do the Red Diamonds think they're superior?" Adela frowned. Okay, but so, we can't have Natorbi resembling Quidditch. The sport, however, is part of the shoddy worldbuilding. It's absolutely full of shit. It's an underwater sport, apparently. They take some kind of breathing pill so that they... can breathe. Adela literally gets onto the team, before even really knowing anything about the sport, by simply swimming to the bottom of this ball of water and then swimming through a ring. She set a record. Yep. To be fair, the ring is apparently spinning and for some magical reason, Adela just knows what to do to figure out the rate of spinning and when it's safe to cross. But yeah, she's just so special. Why? "Your mom was Natorbi champion all four years! She won the Natorbi cup her twelfth year, and the Golden Hives have not won again since she left." — Adela Arthur and the Creator's Clock by Judyann McCole Let's just take a moment there to consider four years -- twelfth year, whaaaat in the world. Oh and they're allowed to enter the school when they're eleven. This is more of the shoddy worldbuilding I was talking about. Okay, now resume about how Adela is a legacy. "Don't be nervous. It's in your blood." Elthin smiled, giving her a pat on the back and adding himself to the long line of people who kept reminding her how great her mother was. — Adela Arthur and the Creator's Clock by Judyann McCole [image] Sorry I couldn't find a gif of her saying, "It's in your blood," but this captures the sentiment pretty well. For the rest, this sport was extremely hard to understand, but from what I gather, they're in teams of five, and the game starts with them swimming to the bottom and through their own rings. After that, there's a ball or something that they're only allowed to kick with their feet, and they have to try to get that through the other team's rings, whilst defending their own. Balls through rings. Nope, this is nothing like Quidditch. Well, due to it being underwater, it can apparently defy the laws of physics, and that's new. The moment he kicked, Adela stole the momentum from the speed, flipping forward and kicking the ball straight into the golden ring. — Adela Arthur and the Creator's Clock by Judyann McCole Adela realized the ball went in the opposite direction it was kicked. [...] Adela swam up and kicked left, sending the ball spinning right. — Adela Arthur and the Creator's Clock by Judyann McCole [image] By this logic, I would have to assume that if she kicks the ball forward, it would go backward. ...Which is interesting. I doubt that was the author's intention, but by this point, I'm way too aggravated to spend even 5 minutes trying to figure this out. Oh and during the one game we see played during the book? Adela faints. Nothing like Harry Potter at all. At 80%, we're reminded that, oh yeah, there's a plot. And I mean, aside from the one-dimensional baddy passively lurking around in the shadows. Long story short: since Adela crossed into Cielieu, everyone's been impressed by her because she's supposedly the one who can beat Delapeur. Why? We don't know. They never literally say prophecy, but most likely, that's what it is. So when they hear Adela Arthur, everyone just gasps and stuff. Her parents were apparently some of the most powerful Volsin in the world, so that could be part of it. Just. Yeah. She's the chosen one. [image] Anyway, when he absorbed the light of his last victim, Delapeur (I'm rolling my eyes each time I type his name, fyi) gained the power to somehow penetrate the minds of other Volsin. ... That doesn't sound too familiar. Since he knows Adela has returned to Cielieu, and he knows she's rumored to be able to beat him, he wants to hunt her down. So he penetrates her mind and threatens her and stuff. This happens over Christmas and she's terrified, and the teachers are concerned, so... "If I were going to make you feel better, I would tell you Lord Aspen is very good with mind defense. That's why Lord Elderberry wants Lady Fern to take over his classes next semester so he can teach you." — Adela Arthur and the Creator's Clock by Judyann McCole Special... mind.. defense... classes... *sigh* (And let's not even start about how this professor is apparently dropping ALL his classes to teach her. But then when she shows up a bit late for a lesson he's like, "I'm busy.") But anyway, it's Christmas, and Adela is one of the few students who stays at the castle, while the others go off to their families. Aww. How sad. She doesn't have a family. Luckily, the school is so accomodating, in their magical dining room, they ditched the round house-specific tables for the holiday, and instead... In the center of the room was now only one large round table where everyone sat together, whether they were Golden Hive, Red Diamond, Sapphire Fall, or Emerald Den. Underneath each tree seemed to be enough presents for everyone on the naughty and nice lists - plus the elves. — Adela Arthur and the Creator's Clock by Judyann McCole Also not at all like Harry Potter. Anyway, specially for the holiday, Adela gets introduced to this magical drink - "a mug of steaming gold liquid", which is called Jumble cider. And then she gets a mysterious gift, a clock, with a note that says: "Your father found comfort in this. Maybe you shall as well." — Adela Arthur and the Creator's Clock by Judyann McCole [image] Continue to read the full review (because OOPS I surpassed the GR character limit... BY A LOT). ...more |
Notes are private!
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1
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Jul 21, 2013
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Jul 26, 2013
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Jul 13, 2013
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Paperback
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| 1460321022
| 9781460321027
| B00DSX0OAW
| 3.63
| 770
| Oct 29, 2013
| Oct 29, 2013
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did not like it
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1 stars Dear publishers and authors, Consider the following warning label: WARNING: This book contains instalove. The protagonist falls head over heels f1 stars Dear publishers and authors, Consider the following warning label: WARNING: This book contains instalove. The protagonist falls head over heels for the love interest in less than 10% of the novel for some undeniable and yet inexplicable reason. And after that, 90% of the protagonist's thoughts and actions concern this undying love. It will be insufferable. You will hate it. Stay away. For the love of god. Please start using this label. Because I'm getting sick of going into these books expecting an actual plot and having it center on nothing but the irritating ramblings of a love sick teenager. And that was just the beginning of the immense list of issues I have with this book. Nerissa is a thoroughly unlikable character. So in a thoroughly original turn of events, Lo, short for Lotharius, is a new guy at Nerissa's school, and from the moment they lock eyes, Nerissa just can't stop thinking about him. But the way this instalove is set up becomes even more annoying when you factor in Nerissa's personality. She's so darn attracted to him, but the whole thing is set up as if she can't stand him. For the first half of the book, it pretty much goes like this: Nerissa: *stares at new guy* Lo: ... *stares back* Nerissa: YOU'RE SO ARROGANT AND ANNOYING. Lo: ...Hi. Nerissa: STOP STALKING ME. Lo: I like you. Nerissa: UGH I HATE YOU. *storms off* Nerissa: God I don't get that guy. Oh but he's so pretty. With his deep blue eyes and hair the color of wet sand *process repeats* [image] So I already couldn't stand Nerissa for her stupid and inexplicable attraction to Lo, who showed absolutely no personality - and contrary to how she asserts that he is arrogant and douchey, he displays no such behavior aside from an odd snarky comment here and there. But then this ex-friendship with Cara is introduced. Nerissa and Cara used to be friends until a guy Cara was crushing on asked Nerissa out and she accepted. However, instead of Cara being a bitch to Nerissa, Nerissa makes Cara's life a living hell, pretty much. She completely shuts Cara out during a hockey game, refusing to pass to her when she was open, and in general just keeps narrating about how rude and bitchy Cara is. Cara barely does anything aside from glare at Nerissa. But of course then Lo becomes friends with Cara, so Nerissa doesn't like that. And then later Nerissa's best friend Speio starts dating Cara and Nerissa doesn't like that. [image] Are you *headdesk*ing with me yet? Honestly I don't know why I didn't just drop this book. I knew within 50 pages that it wasn't the book for me. But it went quickly, and I guess I felt like that made it tolerable? The plot is near nonexistent, as most of the novel focuses on this annoying romance that had me rolling my eyes and scoffing constantly. There's one infodump chapter around midway through the novel where Nerissa explains exactly what kind of creature she is and where she comes from, which is all rather vague, nonsensical, or confusing... then it goes back to the romantic melodrama, because *gasp* Nerissa realizes she actually is in love with Lo. I know. Shocker. Then the end has a few chapters of battles and plot but it's way too late in the game to save the show. Sadly, all the plot twists regarding the identities of several characters I had called practically at the very beginning of the book. Yeah. So no big shockers there either. What a waste of time. About the only ray of light in this sad excuse of a novel was Nerissa's friendship with Jenna. It was actually a very healthy and nice female friendship, and it stood totally apart from any relationship/boy drama. Sadly, this was overshadowed by Nerissa's illogically intense hatred of Cara and the bitchy narrations associated with that element. And of course, all the rest of the book. Summing Up: I thoroughly disliked this book and sped read it to get it out of the way as soon as possible. It's just not worth it. Annoying instalove, hateful main character, bland love interest, minor plot, vague worldbuilding through infodumps... *sigh* I just want a good mermaid book. I know it's possible. Please. Someone. Prove me right. GIF it to me straight! [image] Recommended To: No one. **An electronic ARC was provided by the publisher via NetGalley for an honest review. Thank you! ...more |
Notes are private!
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1
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Oct 06, 2013
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Oct 08, 2013
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May 23, 2013
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Kindle Edition
| ||||||||||||||
| 0062201298
| 9780062201294
| 0062201298
| 2.97
| 2,220
| May 21, 2013
| May 21, 2013
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did not like it
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NO STARS [image] No. No no no no no. No no. No. This book is one of the worst I have ever read. Hell, it may well be the worst. Save yourself the inevit NO STARS [image] No. No no no no no. No no. No. This book is one of the worst I have ever read. Hell, it may well be the worst. Save yourself the inevitable frustration and disappointment of reading this book. Please. Do yourself a favor. Let me tell you why. Cue my longest review ever. After only 15%, my gut told me to throw my e-reader across the room and give up. But I am not one to easily DNF books, and I really felt I should review this one. So I kept on going. But this isn't going to be pretty guys. I'll throw in some gifs though. To pretty it up. And because they so adequately can depict my rage. Let me start off with this: Sam is the most annoying, douchebag main character I have ever read. Here are some quotes for you, introducing himself right at the beginning of the book. "Man, I just want to go to bed," I said. I was exhausted. I wanted to jerk off and fall asleep. [image] First thing to know about Sam: he's blunt and vulgar. I consider myself a sociable person, but sometimes I feel best being sociable with myself. I guess that's why I enjoy masturbation. [image] Why? Seriously. Why? This morning at the beach was different. I felt the muscles in my shoulders pumping with blood. I felt ocean in my eyelashes and a heaviness in my dick. I felt strong and solid, more myself--the best version of myself, I mean--than I had in a while. Okay, aside from once again mentioning his dick, "I felt ocean in my eyelashes"?? What the hell kind of writing is this? [image] And although Sasha had remained obviously into me in the weeks following the party--texting me nonstop and leaving long and pointless handwritten notes in my locker--I'd quickly decided that she was annoying and not even all that hot. [image] No. Just no. Adding sexist to the list of personality traits. I wondered if the earth was flat-and if so, where did the water go when it tumbled off the edge? [image] I think the author intended to show off Sam's thoughtfulness here, but... JESUS. NO. UGH. Think again, Sam. You definitely are an idiot. Sam also frequently cites the "wisdom" of his best friend, Sebastian. And that yields us such beautiful passages as... Sebastian always advised me to ask questions when in doubt. "Girls like to talk about themselves. If you can't think of anything to say, just ask some dumb question about nothing, and if you're lucky she'll go off and you won't have to say anything else for another ten minutes and she'll think you're a great listener. [image] I actually thought about calling Sebastian for advice, but I could practically hear his voice: Wait, this is all over some girl? Don't be such a fucking vagina, dude! I mean, dude! You go to the beach for a month and you turn into a human tampon! [image] And yet, even worse than Sam, there's his brother, Jeff, aka the most sexist pig ever born. "You sleep with some girl once, and before you know it you're like trapped in her crazy pussy-web," he said, nodding sagely to himself. [image] "You wearing some kind of special cologne or something?" he asked. "You're working some crazy voodoo on those bitches." [image] Now all of the above are completely infuriating. Every male character is portrayed to be such a huge douche (except Sam and Jeff's father, who is a total pansy). And I don't know about you guys, but the majority of the YA reader base being female, this is all pretty freaking (1) disgusting, (2) insulting, and (3) disheartening! I'm single, and thinking that every guy is like this is totally depressing. It just makes me think... [image] But the sexism doesn't end there. The main love interest, DeeDee, also has some choice words to add. "I've never read the Bible," I said. "I didn't know anyone actually read it." [image] You... wait.. what? The women think we're tacky, but we're not interested in the opinions of women anymore. We learned long ago how unimportant the opinions of women are. [image] Kristle tried to do it with me." I said. DeeDee didn't flinch. "I know," she said. "She told me. Typical ho. [image] This is the weird thing about September Girls - it's so blatantly sexist, disgusting, and infuriating, at a certain point I was wondering if I was reading it wrong. And if it wasn't just totally meant to be a comedy. A disgusting comedy, but still. I mean. Why on earth would a publisher publish this??? (I still love you, HarperCollins, but...) [image] I could go on with the quotes, but I think you get the point. I did read the whole book, and I have some choice words to say about the rest as well. The characters are ridiculous. I think from the quotes you've probably already understood that they're all sexist assholes, and obviously that kept me from connecting at all or caring about them at all. However, something weird happened too. We have these sexist idiots, Sam and Jeff, and at a certain point they both have love interests (I know, I know, HOWWW??!??!?!) and they do some kind of 180. Jeff, who admittedly made some of the worst comments, gets all defensive when Sam questions his relationship with Kristle. Sam is suddenly totally love sick after he meets DeeDee. ...It doesn't work this way guys. CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT. GET SOME. PREFERABLY BELIEVABLE. [image] Sam's parents are some of the stupidest I have ever heard of. So Sam's mother leaves the family - just one day ups and leaves. Sam then so very eloquently blames this on... feminism. Yes, through Facebook and Farmville, his mother discovered the internet, and then came in contact with a whole crowd of people there who apparently inspired her to ditch her family. What? When does this ever happen? And then she comes back. During Sam's vacation. And his father has been pining and moaning since she left, a truly pathetic human being, to be quite honest. So she comes back, and he doesn't blame her for anything, just welcomes her back, pretty much. I'm sure there's a deeper story there but the author just decides to pretty much glaze over that to talk more about Sam's melodramatic love life. [image] The plot is stupid. Wait, I should rephrase that. Plot, WHAT plot? Seriously, at around 50% I didn't know what I was reading anymore. The whole first half was basically: there are these mysterious girls. Something's up with them. Oh and Sam is completely love sick for DeeDee. And Kristle keeps flirting with him. It's just plain boring. After that, it still takes a while before anything really happens. But I pushed on. You guys don't care about spoilers, right? Eh, SPOILER ALERT. So it turns out that the oh-so-mysterious Girls are mermaids... kind of? (the world building is shit), and they have a CURSE. They can't leave the beach unless they... have sex with a virgin male. [image] Whyyyy? Seriously, you couldn't think of anything better? At that point, it hit me: this is a teenage boy's wet dream. It's got to be. But yeah, that explains why all these ever so slightly weird but totally hot Girls are after Sam, who has shown no personality besides a slight propensity for sexism. You know how attractive that is. But yeah, they're only after sex, so... One of my favorite (sarcasm) scenes was when a hurricane came to the beach! Not only did Sam's family very stupidly decide to stay (seriously, living in Northwest Houston was terrifying enough when hurricanes struck - being right on the shore? umm) but this very interesting passage happens. (Just one more quote, I swear!) "So why are we staying?" I looked from Dad to Mom. "If we're supposed to leave?" Everyone just sort of shrugged. "Are we all going to die?" I asked. Seriously, his parents are so stupid. After that, you know what happens? It's a couple hours before the hurricane is due to hit, and Sam's dad hands him his metal detector and tells him to go off and hunt for treasure on the beach. Right now. And Sam goes. [image] WHO DOES THIS??? Well, he goes off on his merry way, hunting for treasure, eventually finds something, starts digging, digging, digging, and then notices the hole he's standing in is filling with water and the winds are actually too fierce for him to swim back to the shore. *heavy sigh* Luckilyyyy his Girls are there to save him. Moving on, the writing is pretentious. So this book doesn't even have that to save it. The writing alternates between Sam's point of view and passages from the Girls. These short Girls chapters are the most cryptic and pretentious passages. I suppose that was intended to heighten the mystery about their identities and whatever, but most of them ended with me scratching my head thinking, "What the hell did I just read?" But that feeling wasn't only limited to those passages, and sometimes Sam had a propensity for those kinds of tangents as well. And of course, you've seen some samples of the writing already, with beautiful descriptors like, "I felt ocean in my eyelashes." The world building was just awful. There's so much potential in mermaids. I wished for so much better. But no. We get pretty much one cryptic infodump that is equal parts confusing and forgettable - I suppose because creative world building was not a goal of this novel. Here, let's see what you make of this: the Girls are mermaids. Their mother is the Deepness. Their father is the Endlessness. They have two brothers: Speed and Calm. They for some reason only really "live" in the summer and are rather dormant the other months. They get sent to the beach when they're 16 and have no real memories of where they came from or what their name was, except the knowledge that they're cursed, in fact, by their father. There's a lot of other little disjointed details, but it's like none of it really builds on each other and none of it is thoroughly developed. I mean, did it make sense to you, Sherlock? [image] Also, I feel like I have to mention that the Girls have the most ridiculous names ever. So when they wash up on the shore, they don't have a name, so they watch TV and stuff and then pick names. But I don't get why that yields them the stupidest names in history (especially when they have their sisters there who have been living there for a while and would probably know what is normal by now). Here are some of these brilliant names: Kristle, L'Oréal, Olay, Taffany, Fiesta, Jenuvia, the list goes on. I couldn't help but giggle every time I saw Kristle or Taffany written on the page. I mean, seriously. Even if they didn't know any better after just crawling out of the ocean, they could catch on later and switch to more normal names right? Names aren't exactly set in stone... Okay, this is going on for far too long. Summing Up: There is nothing redeemable about this book. Reading it can best just be summed up with this one final gif. [image] Someone hand me the brain bleach. Recommended To: I wouldn't subject anyone to this. *ARC provided by the publisher in exchange for an honest review. This does not affect my opinion of the book or the contents of the review. ...more |
Notes are private!
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1
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Apr 21, 2013
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Apr 25, 2013
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Nov 25, 2012
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ebook
| ||||||||||||||
| 0062122436
| 9780062122438
| B00DB30M2Y
| 3.55
| 3,402
| Mar 18, 2014
| Mar 18, 2014
|
did not like it
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1 star *sigh* *whimpers* Elusion, I wanted to love you so badly. I put you on my most anticipated reads list for 2014 and... it didn't work out. It jus 1 star *sigh* *whimpers* Elusion, I wanted to love you so badly. I put you on my most anticipated reads list for 2014 and... it didn't work out. It just didn't. I did not get along with this book. So Elusion is a science fiction semi-dystopia in which this new technology, Elusion, allows people to escape their daily reality and go into a virtual idyllic world to relax and find their literal happy place. Our main character, Regan, is the daughter of the inventor of Elusion - although her father has since died and passed the company on to her prodigy best friend, Patrick. As Elusion is taking off and more and more people are in love with the product, it becomes apparent that all is not as it seems. Elusion might be bad for people. Basically what made me so excited for this book, aside from the beautiful cover, is this idea of virtual worlds. I know it's been toyed with in a lot of sci-fi, so it may not have been the most original story, but as long as it was done well, I would love it. Because, actually, I haven't found one that's done it well yet. Well... I obviously need to continue my search. Quickly it becomes clear that Elusion's science/technology side and the world building suffers from a lack of research. Terms from our world, what we already know today, are used out of context and incorrectly. I may not be a computer/internet wizard, but this is not how this stuff works. If you want to use contemporary tech and science terms, at least make sure it's well researched. The world building hinged on your suspension of disbelief, but I couldn't let it go. Especially not when, at one point, Regan is hacking into a computer and apparently can find the files she needs, which should be marked by the code 5020, by using the following commands: //4DV4NC3D 534RC|-|5020// //EyE Am ph33|1n6 |u(ky5020// [image] I'm sorry, WHAT?! The last one ACTUALLY WORKED and found the files she needed. You've got to be freaking kidding me. At that point, this whole book went down the toilet for me. Seriously. I briefly considered whether this was a placeholder that would be changed in the final copy, and I dearly hope so, but I doubt it and that pisses me off. No. Just no. The rest of the plot didn't really help. Elusion's technology works as a kind of hypnosis that triggers your body to produce more endorphins than normal. And some people [image] And now you may thing, yeah, this technology sounds obviously addictive, so there would have to be some regulation about that, right? Right. Well. A lot of the struggles the company faces in the book is to get some "CIT" approval to be able to roll out Elusion to the whole of the US. But it's already out in three test cities. The whole novel I was wondering... how did they even get it to test markets? Seriously, this sounds horrifically addictive, how did THAT happen? Near the end of the book, it comes out that after the company first submitted the product for approval, within 24 hours the CIT reviewed the documents and let them do the test markets. I... no. No. NO. The world does not work like this. [image] But obviously, as indicated by the blurb, which I should have paid way more attention to, Elusion is also rather romance heavy. In fact, we get a LOVE TRIANGLE. WHEEEE. We all know how much I love those. This love triangle, however, is particularly stupid. It is devoid of all chemistry. On one side we have possessiveness, and on the other side we have instalove. Regan clearly falls on one side, so it was pretty pointless. But still the boys fight over her like she's the best thing since sliced bread. I don't get why, because she hardly displays any personality. The main romance made me cringe. It was straight out of the chapter of how to get Debby to NOT ship your romance. But there's something about Josh - with his slightly asymmetrical face and the small gap in his teeth and the barely there hair - that makes it impossible for me to get his image out of my mind. - Elusion by Claudia Gabel and Cheryl Klam That's... not attractive. Nope. Nope nope nope. I don't want to sound superficial and "all about the looks" but what the fuck is this? That is not a dreamy dream boat guy. And maybe it would be refreshing to have a romantic interest that's not a supermodel - but then it's hard to accept it when Regan raves like he's the most handsome guy in the history of ever. The romance continues to be disgusting when they have one kiss that is rather devoid of all chemistry and literally talks about him sticking his tongue in her mouth. Wow. That sounds so desirable. No feels from this romance. What irritates me the most, however, is how the romance is the dominant part of the story at the most awkward of times. I mean, there's this whole running conspiracy theory about Elusion that Regan is investigating together with Josh, and Regan claims to be suspicious of a lot of people and events. At a certain point, she's discussing some theories with Josh, and in the middle of one of her aloud strains of thought about who they could trust and who's plotting what, the following happens: "Nothing. Just forget it." WHAT. THE. FUCK. GIRL. What cue? What signal? You were in the middle of a dark discussion about suspicions! Get your priorities straight! It would have been weird if he had kissed you! That was so NOT THE RIGHT TIME. This freaking romance. Ughhhhhh. [image] It's really hard to care about a story when you hate all of the characters. So indeed, after the worldbuilding, plot, and romance already struck out for me, the characters could not make up for it. There were hardly personalities to be noted, but I was all right with them, for the most part... Until, at around 70%, the story went completely to shit. Avery, the tough girl bitch, bursts out in tears within two minutes. Patrick, who supposedly loves Regan, yells at her and acts like a right prick. Josh keeps things from her which she then forgives in about ten seconds because, what the hell, he's just so pretty. Her mother, who was in a near catatonic state at the beginning of the book, has miraculously recovered and gets on Regan's case for not communicating with her - as if she's the parent of the year. She admits to some faults, but seriously, overnight she went from near-comatose to full-time working, contributing member of society, and I'm not buying it. Regan herself completely manipulates Patrick's feelings for her and strings him along like a right bitch. And at a certain point, Regan gets injured and it reads as if it's a small scratch or something (no screaming in pain) and later it appears she's bleeding through her bandages, and Josh should leave her behind. SO MANY INCONSISTENCIES. Maybe this is because of the two authors, that they weren't in sync enough, but the end result is that I just don't care about any of it. [image] Summing Up: Clearly this book didn't work for me on any level. Nope. The best I can say for it is that I liked the beginning and how the virtual worlds were described. But that's about it. There were way too many flaws, and I could not suspend my disbelief. This romance can go to hell. And I'm going to go cry, because I was so ready to pre-order a copy and have this LOVELY cover on my shelves, but that's definitely not going to happen now. GIF it to me straight! [image] *ARC provided by the publisher in exchange for an honest review. This does not affect the rating or content of the review.... clearly. ...more |
Notes are private!
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1
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Feb 21, 2014
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Feb 25, 2014
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Sep 25, 2012
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Kindle Edition
| ||||||||||||||
| 1101552247
| 9781101552247
| B005ERIS80
| 4.01
| 54,573
| Jan 10, 2012
| Jan 10, 2012
|
did not like it
|
1 star The one star rating may be a little harsh since I didn't finish it, but I just can't deal with it, and I really tried. I don't understand why pe 1 star The one star rating may be a little harsh since I didn't finish it, but I just can't deal with it, and I really tried. I don't understand why people are in love with this series. I wasn't convinced after Across the Universe and while reading this my apathy only grew. Not only do I not feel any sort of connection or liking towards either Elder or Amy, I find their relationship so asdfjkl; annoying. I just found myself rolling my eyes the entire time. It may be that I've reached my YA capacity again and need to mix it up with more adult books - that does tend to happen to me. There comes a time when my ability to accept bullshit fails. Like I'd mentioned in my review of Across the Universe I just don't understand why Amy is still attracted to/not repulsed by Elder, or refuses to show any sign of a backbone. Like, one moment she says she blames him (rightfully so) for waking her up, but then she still loves him. There's so little development to their relationship that I can't buy it. I just can't. But the characters (or should I say lack of personalities) are to me inexcusable. The personalities are so static and so undeveloped, I can't handle it. To me, if I finish a book (or in this case get halfway through the sequel) and still can't think of one good adjective (besides, in this case, stupid, annoying, or ignorant) to describe the personalities of the main characters, that book is nothing for me. But yeah, I got almost half way, didn't enjoy a second of it and just gave up. I was only growing more annoyed reading it. And while what bothered me the most was the characters, the story couldn't hold my attention either. After officially giving up, I read some other reviews and saw similar criticisms - also indicating it didn't get any better. And I spoiled the story for myself by looking at plot summaries and the "twists" sounded like plot elements I'd *headdesk* at. So yeah. TL;DR: this series just isn't for me. This is not how I like my sci-fi, or basically any series at all. Recommended To: Absolutely no one. ...more |
Notes are private!
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1
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Jul 16, 2012
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Aug 21, 2012
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Jul 16, 2012
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ebook
| ||||||||||||||
| 3.80
| 3,619,181
| Jul 16, 1951
| 2010
|
did not like it
|
1 star Why is this a classic? Why is this one of the "great" American novels? Jesus, did this book make me want to throw my e-reader across the room. I 1 star Why is this a classic? Why is this one of the "great" American novels? Jesus, did this book make me want to throw my e-reader across the room. I don't get it. So, a little bit of context: I read this for one of my book club's classics months. I had heard from multiple people that it's horrible, and that I would not enjoy it, but I was curious anyway. That mainly came from two reasons: (1) it's such a highly regarded classic, and I felt kind of bad not having read it, and (2) it's noted as having inspired (or at least a large influence on) The Perks of Being a Wallflower, which is undoubtedly one of my favorite books of all time. To point 1, I say, literary people, I don't get you; and to point 2, I say, teachers, start teaching Perks instead. This book is stupid. Actually, in going to describe it, I'm struck with the urge to use old Holden's annoying narrative style and all. If you haven't read the book, you may not understand, so I'll try to resist. You see, Holden Caulfield is one of the most annoying, idiotic, hypocritical douchebags I've ever encountered. And yeah, I'm sure that was the point. The Catcher in the Rye follows his story about how he got kicked out of his boarding school for failing everything (generally he didn't bother to try at all). Basically, he goes around New York and just has one gigantic rant about how everyone he sees, EVERYONE, is a moron and a phony - before and after and sometimes during asking these people for favors and hanging out with them. He's so hypocritical that it's just about the most painful thing ever to read. To make it worse, his narrative style is extremely juvenile, repetitive and grating. He's constantly using the same phrases: "and all", "or anything", sort of", "I swear", "for Chrissakes", "moron", ""phony", "old [character name]", "it just about killed me", "it drives me crazy", etc. I'm thinking about how people went through Fifty Shades of Grey and counted the frequencies of phrases like "her inner goddess" or whatever being used - and the same could and should be done for The Catcher in the Rye. It's - so - annoying. Granted, he is 16, so part of this could be considered his personality, and it was written in the fifties - so what the hell do I know about how they spoke back then. But if it was like this, god am I happy to be living in the now. Aside from his annoying ranting, Holden's actions speak even louder to the fact that something's not right with this guy. He calls people morons and then invites them to go out for drinks or to the movies. He meets a stranger and they talk for two seconds, so he asks him to go get a drink. He smokes about 3 packs of cigarettes in one day. He's arrogant about his own intelligence when it appears he has none. He's outraged when people don't serve him alcohol in bars, despite being 16. And it seems like he has ADD: not just in his ranting can he easily get distracted and go off on a tangent, but he'll be doing one thing and then decide, "Hey! I should call up this girl right now, in the middle of the night, because she just popped into my head." It's confusing and messy, but I suppose it did kind of keep me reading, because the hint of something being wrong with him created a mystery that I wanted solved. But the ending is probably the most aggravating part of all. (view spoiler)[All throughout the book, you can tell there's something not right with Holden. He talks about getting depressed, he even gets sicker and sicker in the last few pages, literally going to throw up and breaking out in sweats out of the blue. He references his dead brother, a classmate who committed suicide, his old teacher appears to try to molest him. And then. The freaking. Book. Ends. He seriously just cuts it out with a, "Well, that's all I'm going to tell you," and indicates that he's in the hospital for SOMETHING. Jesus, fuck, seriously?? I don't get ittttt. I'd very much like to know what's wrong with him, in hopes that maybe I could bring myself to care JUST A LITTLE about him. Maybe I could empathize. JUST A LITTLE. Buuut no. (hide spoiler)] That aside, worse is the fact that even at the end, Holden didn't learn anything at all. He ends the book complaining yet again about how people were asking him if he would apply himself next year, and explaining that he didn't know because that's only something you know when you do it. That. NO. JUST. UGH. That's a decision you are able to make in advance! No wonder you flunk - even now you won't try. You know what? Fuck you, Holden. I don't give two shits what happens to you. The way it is, this book just boils down to rich white people problems. Apparently I am unable to read any more into this. Where's a good English teacher when you need one? Seriously though, things shouldn't be THIS open ended. The set up isn't done well enough to help me figure it out, and I don't feel like I can trust Holden's voice even for a second. Again: choose Perks instead. Summing Up: In the words of Holden Caulfield: This book just about KILLED me. That old Holden Caulfield is such a goddamn moron. He doesn't even realize he's sort of the world's most judgmental prick and all. Nothing happened but this goddamn rant about how everyone in the freaking world is so moronic, and the idiot didn't even learn anything for Chrissakes. It just about drives me crazy! He's the biggest phony of them all, and if I ever hear that word again it's too soon. I swear, how anyone is able to like and praise this book or anything is beyond me. (I realize you are free to like whatever books you like, and if this is a favorite of yours - that's fine! I just don't get it. If you want to try to respectfully explain it to me in the comments, feel free.) GIF it to me straight! [image] Recommended To: Don't! Read The Perks of Being a Wallflower instead. And flip off anyone who gets judgmental about that. ...more |
Notes are private!
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1
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Aug 11, 2014
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Aug 12, 2014
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Jun 09, 2012
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ebook
| |||||||||||||||||
| 144240857X
| 9781442408579
| 144240857X
| 3.49
| 2,487
| Apr 16, 2013
| Apr 16, 2013
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did not like it
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1.5 stars Dear Elixir series, Once upon a time, I was young and naive. Your first installment, Elixir was so gleefully different and had such a myst 1.5 stars Dear Elixir series, Once upon a time, I was young and naive. Your first installment, Elixir was so gleefully different and had such a mysterious and creepy vibe that I honestly couldn't put it down until I finished. I was excited. Especially because I completely adore Hilary Duff. But maybe that made me see this in a more flattering light than warranted. But I was inexperienced! I honestly had not read much before that point, and now, the tables have surely turned. First of all, I think to an extent I would still enjoy Elixir today. But the series lost its momentum, and, to be honest, it should have been a stand alone. This is another case of a series that was poorly planned out and just jumping on the bandwagon. Because, Elixir series, why do you have to engage in YA stereotypes, like the totally absent parents, the unlimited resources (due to the main character's senator mother), teenage fights that end in noncommunication, and love triangles? The love triangle was still the best developed of the overused tropes, but its appeal surely waned after the first book ended. Also, why are you 'telling' me everything, and 'showing' me nothing? Honestly, while I may not remember if there is a clear difference between True and its prequels Elixir and Devoted, this whole book was telling. Every single paragraph read as, "I did this. I saw that. She said this. I said that. He looked away." It reads like an elementary level novel, and I've matured way beyond that. And, why is your plot so disjointed? Plot elements come out of nowhere. It doesn't work this way, Elixir series. Well-read readers will surely notice the fact that the plot is clearly made up as it goes along. Explanations for the world building and mythology are completely absent. When some new element is necessary, it appears. Very convenient, but not a good method of storytelling. Why are your characters so bland? The romance was slightly appealing (in the previous books, not this one, Elixir once again being the highest point), but the characters themselves were cookie cutter creations. Stupid to boot. Like, Clea, in this brilliant (read: boring) installment, goes to investigate why Sage's soul seems to be rejected by Nico's body and ends up at a commune specializing in soul transitions. While she's there, the whole time she's laughing at the idiots for believing the bullshit that is preached there, but still lets herself get locked up there because she believes she can find answers. Sections like this (yes, there were more) make the entire book contradict and laugh at itself. But then another convenient plot element appears to explain and drive the plot. Summing Up: I stuck with this series since there was only one more book to go, but man do I wish I hadn't. This was such a waste of my money. I'm kind of eying the other books now, wondering if even Elixir, which I truly enjoyed way back when, would still be enjoyable. But will I reread? No. I've grown up. I know better. This just sucked. 1 orange for the plot that, while ridiculous, kept me turning the pages because at least the concept was mildly intriguing, and half an orange for the twist at the end that I honestly didn't expect. Recommended To: Nope, I wouldn't. ...more |
Notes are private!
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1
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May 13, 2013
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May 17, 2013
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Jun 09, 2012
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Hardcover
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| 031606792X
| 9780316067928
| 031606792X
| 3.74
| 1,753,580
| Aug 02, 2008
| Aug 02, 2008
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did not like it
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None
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Notes are private!
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1
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not set
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Aug 2009
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Apr 09, 2012
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Hardcover
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| 3.60
| 1,980,184
| Sep 06, 2006
| Sep 06, 2006
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did not like it
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None
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Notes are private!
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1
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not set
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Dec 2008
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Apr 09, 2012
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Hardcover
| |||||||||||||||||
| 0316160202
| 9780316160209
| 0316160202
| 3.73
| 1,860,830
| Aug 07, 2007
| Aug 07, 2007
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did not like it
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None
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Notes are private!
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1
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not set
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Jul 2009
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Apr 09, 2012
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Hardcover
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