This is such a bizarre piece of work, I'm not sure what to make of it. It started out fun, got interesting, then got bizarre, then got really bizarre,This is such a bizarre piece of work, I'm not sure what to make of it. It started out fun, got interesting, then got bizarre, then got really bizarre, and then became a full on crap-fest, theeeen it ended okay. Unfortunately the conclusion was really open-ended. No word on whether or not it will become a series.
Am I still interested in this storyline? Enough to pick up a sequel? The answer to both those questions is no.
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Whoa, folks. Not this 1% (although how awesome would that be? Owning attack hounds. Rocking a monocle. Weari
Honesty time.
I'm among the 1%.
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Whoa, folks. Not this 1% (although how awesome would that be? Owning attack hounds. Rocking a monocle. Wearing titanium shoes. Using fancy words like 'indubitably' and 'mustachioed'. I'd be the best billionaire evah.)
I'm talking about the other 1%. You know, the people who read One for the Money and didn't like it. People such as:
(I guess this means I'm officially old and boring or whatever.)
But yeah, I totally do not like this book unlike 99% of the GoodReads population. As far as I'm concerned One for the Money is a dated, exceptionally lame version of The Jersey Shore in which everyone is sporting spandex, big hair, and sexist attitudes.
So basically it's almost exactly the same as every episode of The Jersey Shore. Except with more guns.
Exactly like the Jersey Shore with lots of real guns. And a really dumb grown woman who cannot be bothered to learn how to shoot a gun even though she's carrying one with her at all times.
Why, you ask?
Because she's being stalked by a rapist. A really violent, super-dangerous raping-rapist who totally wants to rape her. A lot.
But that's not all, folks. There is also a really mysterious mystery. (A rape-y mystery.)
This really attractive MENSA candidate wrapped in spandex who can't shoot a gun to save her life is named Stephanie Plum. Stephanie is trying to solve a mystery so she can help clear the name and reputation of the guy who sexually assaulted her when they were children the smoosh-worthy skeevy man-whore love interest. All so she can haul him into jail for jumping bail and collect the $20,000 bounty on his head, or whatever.
In the meantime sexual tension is building between the two. They're tripping over all the innuendo. It's sexy and mysterious. And full of (dumb-)damsel-in-distress like situations.
How could I not love this book, you ask? I just don't. Although, I think I just proved I'm old and boring. If you're not old or boring, and you really love the Jersey Shore, One for the Money might just be the book for you.
You're not Joss Whedon. You'll never be Joss Whedon and/or J.K. Rowling, so do yourself (and everyone else) a favor: stop trying.
Yours Truly, Someone Who Deserves Their Money Back (A.K.A. Everyone Who Bought a Copy of City of Fallen Angels)
P.S. What were you thinking?
P.P.S. No seriously, what were you thinking when you decided to revive this series? Were you thinking at all? Fair question given the circumstances. Why couldn't you just leave well enough alone? Are you controlled by greed? Just curious.
P.P.P.S. I hope you enjoy swimming in your money bin filled with all that ill-gotten wealth.
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The first thing I did upon finishing City of Fallen Angels: *Headdesk*
I know what you're thinking. You're thinking that I brought this misery upon myself. To that I say: I agree with you, wholeheartedly. You're probably also wondering why I expected a different outcome then the one I got. I've spent the morning wondering that exact same thing. So far I've come up with a handful of explanations, none of which are backed with much reason.
***SECRET SHAME ALERT!!!*** What can I say? I'm that person. You know, that pathetic moron who spends way too much time and energy believing in other people, even the ones who've done nothing but let me down in the past. In my defense I love seeing people live up to their potential.
Yes, I actually believe Cassandra Clare has potential. (Now over half my friends and followers have lost all respect for me.) Or at least I did feel that way until I picked up this book. Now I don't know exactly how I feel about her. Before anyone unfriends me, please lemme 'splain.
There are brief moments, between all the stolen storylines, ill-conceived plotting, melodrama and so-forth, in which I'm able to see that Cassandra Clare does have something unique and interesting to bring to the table. Even a few moments of--dare I say--complete brilliance that, had Ms Clare expanded on, could have gone somewhere great. Unfortunately I don't think Ms Clare knows that about herself so she spends most of her time lifting ideas from other people's work, pasting it together and trying to pass it off as her own.
Either that or she really wishes she was Joss Whedon. And really, who could blame her? I wanna be Joss Whedon too--that way I could know all the ins and outs of the Firefly universe, but I digress. She failed at channeling Joss Whedon's brilliance though it is evident that she tried.
Long story short: this book was like a slap in the face given to me by none other then a very smug Cassandra Clare. Serves me right for being dumb enough to believe in her, amirite?
In-depth review to come.
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Initial reaction to the new cover to this book: Can I just say how irritated I am that Clary and Jace are pretty much front and center in this book? Clary is even on the freaking cover. I thought this story was going to focus on Simon, so what's with the return of The Jace & Clary Quasi-Incest Show? I just don't care about them anymore and I desperately wish they'd just go away. Forever.
I know I'm going to read this only to wish I hadn't. Why? Because I can't stay away from these stupid books. Kill me.
Reading it again in preparation for the sixth book. Observations this time around? Georgina is a major hypocrite and not nearly as likeable as I rememReading it again in preparation for the sixth book. Observations this time around? Georgina is a major hypocrite and not nearly as likeable as I remember her to be. Also, Richelle Mead needs to figure out how to write a less-selfish character.
Rose Hathaway = Georgina Kinkaide
Also, I sort of hope Seth dies. (Actually, I don't sort of hope it. I totally hope he dies. I hate Richelle Mead for writing a such a despicable set of lovers)
---
Richelle Mead is a very talented writer. Her books have solid characters, creative storylines and interesting plot twists. I like her books. They amuse me, entertain me. That being said--after reading this book--I'm no longer sure she's one of my favorite authors.
Here's the deal, it's not like there is anything wrong with this book, exactly. Actually, it's up to her usual standards--if not better, entertainment wise. But I can't help but feel a little bit disappointed and more then a little ripped off.
I'm disappointed because, as far as I'm concerned, the hints Ms. Mead puts out there are about as subtle as a nuclear bomb being detonated. I just didn't want to believe it until now--because, seriously, they're just so blatantly in your face I forced myself to believe they were red-herrings planted to throw us off. Because of these 'hints' it turns out I've known--or rather, strongly suspected--the "big secret" of this series before I even finished reading Succubus Blues, the first book in the series.
(By the way, the "big secret" isn't necessarily revealed in this book, but based on all the obvious hints peppered throughout this book, not to mention the gi-friggin'-normous doozy dropped at the end of the novel, you'd have to be extremely dimwitted not to see it.)
I'm feeling ripped off because the series could have easily been wrapped up in this book--the fifth book--of the series. Especially since this book--while entertaining--is pretty much just filler, nothing else. I didn't learn anything I didn't already know and I hate that.
Don't get me wrong, like I said earlier, this story is quite entertaining but very little happens to further the overall plot. Like, the progression made--plot-wise--could have filled maybe as many as ten chapters, but that's it.
This book deserves five stars because of the entertainment factor, but loses two (should be three, but I'm feeling generous today) because of the complete and utter pointlessness of the majority of this book. *sigh* ...more
Who is publishing these horribly written YA novels? Who? (every publisher, ever) And more importantly, why? (for tons of cash)
First off, I didn't finWho is publishing these horribly written YA novels? Who? (every publisher, ever) And more importantly, why? (for tons of cash)
First off, I didn't finish this book. I couldn't finish this book. I couldn't get 1/4 of the way through, even though I have the audiobook. Actually not only is this book boring as hell but the audiobook was poorly cast (more on that later). This is another book I picked up because of the pretty cover. *kicking self, a lot*
I have to admit the premise sounded interesting--not long before this book crossed my path I'd finished reading Blood and Chocolate, which is, overall, somewhat enjoyable even if it is a little weird--so I just had to read it. But guess what? Not an interesting story. Not even kind of.
The coupling in this book? Bizarre. Boring--I mean, really boring.
Sam doesn't think like a guy. Not even a little. Sam thinks like a woman. A really boring older woman. No guy throws on a puffy coat and thinks "I look like a blimp in this thing." No heterosexual guy. No way. Not ever. I can't help but wonder if Sam ever gets around to asking Grace if his pants make his butt look fat. But I digress.
Grace is Boring. Not only that but she's also insipid, and irritating. Did I mention mind-numbingly boring? So just to review: Grace: She's Bella Swan's evil, but oh-so-very-boring twin.
And the character named Isabella (I think that's her name), that, like, pisses herself? WTF??? WHY? Seriously, WHY? It's because of the pissing scene that I stopped paying attention to the audio book. Sure, every once in a while I caught snippets of the story. But none of it was interesting. So eventually I turned it off and cursed Audible for having a no return policy--sure, it totally makes sense. But still.
Tangent: Look, I wasted one of my audible credits on this piece of trash. I can't resell it, or even trade it for something better. I'm pissed.
Speaking of the audio book: like I said earlier it was horribly cast. The female narrator sounds like a fourteen-year-old girl. And the male narrator sounds like my old elementary school gym coach. The one that sorta looked like a child molester--you know what I'm talking about, everyone had a coach like that. Everyone.
Needless to say, the audio book gave me heebies from the get go. I couldn't help but picture some ninth grade girl--because, like I said, she sounds quite young--flirting with her disgusting teacher (who has a mustache and wears tiny gym shorts). I'm still traumatized.
So yeah, I advise you don't read this book. And definitely don't buy the audio book. If you do, don't say I didn't warn you.
Anyone who has a kid has probably, at one point or another, battled with them at bedtime. That's what I do, every night. There is much yelling, cryingAnyone who has a kid has probably, at one point or another, battled with them at bedtime. That's what I do, every night. There is much yelling, crying, begging and pleading. It's horrible.
Kid #3 is out like a light, so she's not part of the problem. Kid #2 puts up a good fight, whining and tantrum throwing, but eventually she succumbs to her sleepiness. Kid #1, however... well, she's another story altogether.
At night, she's afraid of everything and feels that if she sleeps something will get her. But she's not invincible, she has to sleep sometime. So after being assured that she's safe, she'll lay down and relax--this can only happen in the master bedroom, because in her mind the master bedroom is safe from everything.
Once she's been lulled into blissful unconsciousness either me or my husband will move her to her room. Typically this goes off without a hitch. But every once in a great while she wakes up and totally freaks out, because she realizes she was tricked. By her own parents, no less. She feels betrayed. She doesn't believe us when we swear that we won't move her again (because we will and she knows it). And so, because of her her general mistrust, her fear of everything, not to mention all the sobbing, she is awake for another couple of hours, at least. The whole situation is very dramatic and it totally sucks.
How does this relate to My Sister's Keeper? It doesn't--not exactly but I do have a point. Let me explain. I spent years avoiding Jody Picoult's books like the plague. They frightened me. I don't know why. Perhaps it's the fact that every woman over thirty can't stop raving about Jody Picoult books, which means they're probably not my 'cuppa tea'. It may even have something to do with the fact that the woman has the ability to crank these insanely thick books out like she's some sort of writing machine from hell. I don't know, it just doesn't seem natural. Besides, no author is capable of writing so fast. At least, no good author can do such a thing, amirite?
But finally, after being assured that Jody is actually quite talented, that her books are intriguing and worthwhile, I relented and picked up Nineteen Minutes. And you know what? It wasn't horrible. Actually, I kind of liked it. Alright, I admit it--I liked it a lot. It wasn't the best book ever, but it was the sort of book that makes you think, stays with you after you're finished reading it. *shrugs* I happen to like that sort of thing.
So I immediately picked up My Sister's Keeper. And I liked it too. In fact, I was only half way through the book when I was positive I'd be giving it four stars. Sure the sub-plot about the lawyer and the child advocate falling in love was incredibly stupid, but could I blame Jody for throwing it in? No. I'm sure her target audience expects that sort of thing to be in every book they ever read. So I was willing to forgive it. I even forgave all the cheesy cliches.
Because sometimes I'm able to ignore stupid subplots, ridiculous cliches, irritating characters (and by irritating I mean 'so monstrous they deserve to die a horribly drawn-out and painful death'. Yes, I'm talking about the mother in this book), formulaic--that's a word, right?--writing and even the lack of good editing when a story has peaked my interest. It happened when I was reading Twilight and it happened while I was reading this book.
Besides, I'd already come to the conclusion that I'd like this book because I liked Nineteen Minutes. I even had visions of myself adding Jodi Picoult to my list of favorite authors, adding the whole of Jodi Picoult's published works to my TBR list, happily reading said books on the beach over summer break--it was going to be so awesome!
But then, when I was nearly finished with this book, Jodi Picoult went and ruined everything. EVERYTHING! I don't even have the desire to finish this book. I feel manipulated, betrayed, lied to, cheated, and totally violated! I also feel incredibly stupid for thinking that Jodi Picoult was a good writer. Because she's not. She totally sucks and I hate her.
So. Even though I've wasted hours of my life reading, and thinking about, Jodi Picoult novels, it hasn't been all bad. I've learned two things from this whole experience. First, I should trust my initial instincts when it comes to books. Second, I'm an a-hole for lying to my kid. It's no wonder she doesn't trust me, and she'll probably need years of therapy because of it. I wouldn't blame her if she threw me in a really bad nursing home someday.
I gave this book two stars because it isn't horrible until the end. That's when Picoult whips out the most manipulative, unnecessary twist, and thus ruins the whole experience.
Cyn Balog wrote, posted and eventually deleted the following morsel from her blog:
"Hi, there! I posted on twitter something that went a little like
Cyn Balog wrote, posted and eventually deleted the following morsel from her blog:
"Hi, there! I posted on twitter something that went a little like this: "PSA to aspiring authors: Do not rate books on review sites unless 1)the author is dead or 2)you like things to come back to bite you in the ass".
I got a lot of comments for that one. People asked, "Positive reviews?" and to that I say, well, positive reviews are okay, but DO NOT RATE THE BOOK. If you have to give the book stars, it had better be 5 STARS. Or else.
"Why?" you say. "Four stars means I liked it a lot. Three means I liked it. Those are positive things."
No, they are not. And I will tell you why.
Most authors hate goodreads. And with good reason. There are many trolls out there who can anonymously rip apart books with mean-spirited reviews, and they seem to thrive upon finding the most creative and amusing ways to slam a novel. They love to get comments from other trolls, agreeing with them. It appears that there are gangs of these people who enjoy crafting negative reviews, complete with funny pictures and whatnot, which must take so much time it begs the question, "do these people have lives?" A good portion of the site, which is comprised of serious reviewers, is being overshadowed by these people, which is sad. Because of this, most authors say that they never visit goodreads. Ever. I, in fact, never go there. Usually. But every once in awhile, I will be dragged to it, like a moth to a flame. And something on the site will usually burn my retinas.
Authors tell you that they don't care about reviews. They don't care what the haters think. They are liars. Because really, what sells a book is word of mouth. And if enough people are hating their book, that translates to... lack of word of mouth, which translates to lack of sales, which translates to lack of ability to pay one's bills. And all authors care about that.
Anyway, back to why a four star review is not a good thing for an aspiring author to give. Because it creates a comparison. Authors are insecure. Like I said, if you don't like one, it could mean that they don't have steak for dinner. And so, if you say, "I liked this book" and rate it 4 stars... many authors, especially the ones who have a lot of time on their hands, will check to see what your average review is. If it is 4.72, and you rate her book 4 stars, she will be upset, because it means that you liked her book LESS than most of the books you read. She will check all the books you read and see which ones you rated 5 stars and wonder why you didn't like hers as much. Negative feelings will ensue. No, she may not remember you, especially if she gets thousands of reviews. But she also won't remember you as one of her "die-hard fans" either. So when you publish your book and ask her for a blurb, she may say, "Sure..." but then again, she may say, "I'm too busy."
You're probably thinking, "You are not serious. No writer is that ridiculous or obsessive."
But I have spoken to hundreds of published authors... and this is what I have discovered. It's a secret we writers keep, but ratings systems play mind-games with us. They make us go insane, to the point of obsession. I, after a couple years of torment, have learned to opt-out of the insanity... but sometimes, every once in awhile, it does call me back. I'm getting better. With every book, my shell hardens, and I care less. But because it pays my bills, I still care.
You may think I'm crazy. I mean, even as I type it, it sounds crazy to me. But it's the truth. If you're hoping to be published one day and love Goodreads and sharing your opinion with the world, if you want to say, "whatever, that's nuts," feel free to go on rating books as you wish.
But don't say I didn't warn you."
This is why I'll never waste any more of my time reading Cyn Balog's books--by the way, this book is basically unreadable which is why I couldn't finish it. If she thinks the people who write negative reviews have too much time on their hands she should take a long (honest) look in the mirror. Girlfriend has way too much time on her hands if she's looking at individual star-ratings and then checking out each reviewers average rating, and then (sadly) making a comparison. Really? She's really doing this? So depressing.
Also, I'm depressed by all the other egomaniac authors who supposedly check their goodreads star status and then get all sad when they discover their work isn't universally loved.
This really happens? Ugh. Sounds like another group of people has entirely too much time on their hands even though they're 'starving artists' singing for their supper. And we're supposed to believe all these authors have some sort of blacklist? Bahahahaha--that's really funny.
Cyn, you don't like bad reviews? I've got a little advice: instead of getting on goodreads you should spend your time writing; take your writing to the next level. Don't get on the internet and cry about your goodreads star-rating. And, for the record, it's not negative reviews that ruin sales, it's lack of reviews, lack of word-of-mouth; lack of advertising that ruins sales--it has to be said: it seems your publisher doesn't even try to market your stuff. Just saying.
I know a lot of people who will go out of their way to read a book after reading a negative review just to see if it's really as bad as the reviewer said it would be. I know people who will read a book, regardless of negative reviews because the book cover makes it sound so good, or the cover was so blasted beautiful, or just because the book is EVERYWHERE (example: Fallen by Lauren Kate). ...more
This book is about a 14 year-old girl named Susie Salmon who is raped and murdered during the first chapter of this book. She spends the rest of the bThis book is about a 14 year-old girl named Susie Salmon who is raped and murdered during the first chapter of this book. She spends the rest of the book in her version of heaven, watching the family and friends she left behind. She even checks in on the man who raped and murdered her.
As with most novels that deal with a tragedy, the family struggles to stick together. Of course there is the whole cliche of a mother who freaks out and has an affair and eventually runs away. The other kids in the family seem to resent their dead sister because they feel they will always be overshadowed and defined by her tragic death.
I've noticed that people either really love or really hate this book. I don't hate or love this book (that's why I gave it 2 stars). It's an interesting story that could have been REALLY good but it seems to me that Alice Sebold didn't seem to know where she was going with the storyline so she took it in several different directions (most of which didn't seem to pan out or were just plain weird), until she got bored and gave up.
Anyway, I didn't hate this book because I can see that Alice Sebold was trying to convey an important and beautiful message. It is a shame that she wasn't able to do so. Or rather, she did but she had so much going on that it was quite easy to overlook the purpose of the whole story. This book could have been 200 pages shorter, at least.
I totally thought I would love this book when I first picked it up. I mean this is the lady that wrote 'The Secret Life of Bees', how could I not loveI totally thought I would love this book when I first picked it up. I mean this is the lady that wrote 'The Secret Life of Bees', how could I not love it, ya know?
Yeah, it just didn't do it for me. It totally rubbed me the wrong way. I found it irritating and all that jazz. Most novels about forbidden romance /finding one's self tick me off. Books about middle-aged women, gettin' it on with monks-in-training, tick me off too. So yeah, I am so glad I checked it out from the library and didn't actually buy it....more