Great primer on mutual aid, without jargon and with clear examples. Solid advice for people engaging in any sustained group work in here, whether as pGreat primer on mutual aid, without jargon and with clear examples. Solid advice for people engaging in any sustained group work in here, whether as part of movements for social change or not....more
The gender pronoun system mentioned in this story is very much like the way I would design pronouns from scratch for a language. Love Lemberg's world-The gender pronoun system mentioned in this story is very much like the way I would design pronouns from scratch for a language. Love Lemberg's world-building....more
I was thrilled to learn, some months ago, of The Call-Out's publication. I had the privilege of reading it first in serialized form, on an email list,I was thrilled to learn, some months ago, of The Call-Out's publication. I had the privilege of reading it first in serialized form, on an email list, as it was being drafted over the course of 2018 to 2019. While it was fascinating to interact with the writer and watch the artistic process and narrative unfold, it is only more satisfying to re-read it and experience it as a complete work of literature.
It's hard to know which aspect of The Call-Out to gush about first. Of course, there is my general unceasing glee at trans lit being a thing at all. Almost a decade since first reading Plett's A Safe Girl to Love, I still haven't quite gotten used to the fact that we get to have stories written by us, about us, and for us, with an inimitable specificity. The conference, with its readings and picnics! The fucked up accountability processes! The stoned gamers, flirtatious weirdos, and special-interest intellectuals! These are trans women like those I know and love and can't stand.
Not only is it authentic, it's also genuinely very good. The Call-Out has all the elements of a great tragedy. There's an ensemble of vivid characters, each with their fatal flaw, and an arc toward an inevitable fall (mirrored by the arc of the year). The "omniscient" narrator delivers us the dramatic irony via the conceit of an internet call-out post, within which the central call-out (or call-outs) of the narrative are nested. (Hypocrisy and cynicism in the pursuit of justice within an unjust world seem to me to be major themes.)
Then there's the poetic form, which one might expect to feel dated. My previous experiences reading narratives in verse have mostly been in English textbooks, and were mostly written by Poe or some such 19th century cis straight white man of the canon; perfectly enjoyable pieces, but far removed from contemporary life, and in their narrowness of identity, perfectly inadequate to representing the full breadth of human experiences. So it is additionally gratifying that Cat Fitzpatrick lays claim to this format for telling her story about messy trans women, and our messy apartments, messy non-monogamous relationships, messy internet feuds, messy theory, messy praxis – as if to say that we, in all our messiness, are also worthy subjects of "high art."
But apart from its perhaps incidental political achievements, the book is, simply put, delightful to read. At many points, even on the second read, I laughed out loud, or felt compelled to turn to my partner to read them a particularly clever passage aloud. (Me: "the contents of the local thrift store / have been requisitioned, then dumped on the floor." Them: "I think I know that apartment.)
I think this is what impresses me most about this ambitious novel: that it all actually works. The subjects, the rhyme scheme, the satire, the tragedy, the humor – all have been ingeniously woven together, so that my strongest reaction is one of awe. I eagerly await whatever Cat Fitzpatrick does next, but in the meantime, I will be pestering all of my friends and loved ones to read The Call-Out....more
My first time reading a romance novel – apparently all you have to do is present a trans woman as lovable and I'll bite. Very shmaltsy, but of course My first time reading a romance novel – apparently all you have to do is present a trans woman as lovable and I'll bite. Very shmaltsy, but of course that comes with the territory. This was a thoroughly enjoyable slow burn, and I enjoyed getting into the heads of the two main characters. I have some minor complaints. For one, I found I had to suspend my disbelief with just how quickly the love interest was able to reconcile his previous view of his old friend with the woman he has newly fallen in love with, and to reconcile his attraction with his realization that she's trans – this ease hasn't meshed with my experiences of cis people, and while this genre is all about wish fulfillment, it's easier to remain immersed in the better reaction taking place in the story, if there are some concessions to how people behave in reality. I also didn't love how the heroine bursts into sobs every time there's a minor conflict, but I liked her character overall – the fearlessness rings true to me of most trans women I know. My other small issue is with the culmination of the romance, but I won't get into that here, because I'm sure it was exactly what others were looking for, and different strokes. But overall this was well done and long overdue. My partner said they hadn't seen me with my nose in a book like this in a long time....more
*This review is just for "To Balance the Weight of Khalem" by R.B. Lemberg*
Beautiful work. Based on what I know of the author's background, I interpre*This review is just for "To Balance the Weight of Khalem" by R.B. Lemberg*
Beautiful work. Based on what I know of the author's background, I interpreted this as pro-Palestinian alternate universe magical realism from a really thoughtful Jewish Israeli perspective. I'm pretty sure I wasn't reading too much into it....more
*This review is only for "A Portrait of the Desert in Personages of Power, Part 2," by R.B. Lemberg*
Beautifully poetic writing, only occasionally weak*This review is only for "A Portrait of the Desert in Personages of Power, Part 2," by R.B. Lemberg*
Beautifully poetic writing, only occasionally weakened by unclear syntax, which I would chalk up to English not being the author's first language, and perhaps a somewhat timid editor. A vivid, sensual, magical allegory for healing from trauma through practicing consent. Do I detect the queer-and-trans-as-hell story of Rabbi Yochanan and Reish Lakish from the Talmud influencing this narrative? We love to see it....more
I highly recommend reading this messy collision of desire for, and shame about, queerness, heteronormativity, and motherhood. This is a gut punch of aI highly recommend reading this messy collision of desire for, and shame about, queerness, heteronormativity, and motherhood. This is a gut punch of a book, the kind that's both uncomfortable and irresistible in how intensely it resonates. I love seeing trans lit get more specific and incisive in its subject matter, and as a result, only more and more relatable....more
Some spoilers ahead in this review, but nothing that should really surprise you.
This book, like much in YA, reads in some ways as wish fulfillment, buSome spoilers ahead in this review, but nothing that should really surprise you.
This book, like much in YA, reads in some ways as wish fulfillment, but it provides an accurate enough depiction of its central conflict for that schmaltzy payoff to feel earned. It's a pretty honest depiction of the trials of coming of age as a small-town, white trans girl in the 2000s, within an aggressively patriarchal, homophobic, and transmisogynist culture. It shows you all of the external and internalized shaming inherent in that; the destructive and self-destructive tendencies that can come from trying to repress the girlhood that we're certain will cost us love; the impotence of the cis people who do love us to even assure us of their acceptance across such a vast gulf of knowledge; the cruel irony of the dysphoria that can prevent us from seeing our own gender reflected back to us, even when others see it easily. There's a lot in here that feels brutally honest. The basic conceit and narrative structure may be a little gimmicky, but it effectively facilitates the two main characters' growth through such an enormous challenge over a believably long period of time.
It *is* still wish fulfillment, in the sense that many of us claw our way through this adolescent (and/or adult) destructive self-loathing to finally reach a place of healing self-acceptance — yet still struggle to find love, still struggle to be seen for who we are. The happy ending, however much it is rationalized, somehow just feels too good to be true. But this is the exact reason schmaltz was what I was looking for, and the reason I ate it up. *Because* it is so hard to find for #girlslikeus. A Venn Diagram of "highly visible stories in the happily-ever-after romance genre" and "highly visible stories with a trans girl/woman main protagonist" would be two circles — the first enormous, the other pretty tiny — that barely touch. I think this is because trans women, especially those who try to date cis men, don't tend to have wholesome romance, or loving healthy masculinity, waiting for us the moment we come to terms with ourselves, if ever. So our writers don't tend to write that. But we're starved for it. Seriously, the moment when the love interest's internal monologue instantly switched pronouns for the protagonist, I got vicarious gender euphoria.
I am aware, after finishing this book and reading some of the other reviews, that the author of this book appears to have done some awful, destructive things in her past, and to not have owned up to them. That is distressing - for the harm she caused people, for the ammunition it seems to have given some determined transmisogynists, and for all of us who, like myself, saw ourselves and/or something we needed in this book, and have trouble separating the art from the artist. This will probably affect whether I buy another of her books. Maybe the easy nature of the novel's conclusion was the result of an attempt to provide an uncomplicated happy resolution to the author's own destructive behavior, born out of her own pain. I can only speculate. Regardless, her actions are inexcusable, and doubtless the book is uncomfortably colored by the knowledge of this past.
At the same time, I remain mindful of the fact that when my pen pal, also a trans woman, asked me to find her a realistic novel about a trans woman who gets a happy ending (not an "I accept myself so I don't care if you accept me" ending, but a full-fledged, girl gets the boy/girl/enby happy ending), I was stumped. This is despite my being a trans woman who voraciously consumes media by trans women and/or featuring positive depictions of trans women. In the stories where we don't die (more of a cis writer thing to kill us off, really), realistic trans women protagonists written by trans women are still usually chronically downtrodden and face constant objectification. Occasionally there's a faintly uplifting note of resilience at the end, but to be fully loved and cherished? I remember seeing a couple movies by cis men that attempted this, to varying levels of success — one from 1996, the next from 2014 — but not much else, though it's entirely possible I'm forgetting something. There's Nomi and her girlfriend in Sense8, and that is a genuinely groundbreaking TV relationship, but they start out together from the get-go, so its not quite the romantic arc I'm talking about. I did some digging and came up with a list of books with trans women finding love, the majority of which were self-published e-books, and not accessible to my pen pal. Birthday was about all I could find, and so, despite its creator's misdeeds, I'm glad we read it together, and I consider it a necessary book. I hope there will be many more equally capable and less problematic trans woman creators who are given the opportunity to show trans girls finding joy and love. Perhaps then this book can be discarded without a second thought. Give me those stories where the trans girl gets to be loved. Lord knows we need to see it, imagine what it could look like, believe we can enact it. We need to see it, and you do, too....more
There are some great insights in essays throughout the book. Many of the firsthand accounts by survivors felt very resonant in their nuance, and this There are some great insights in essays throughout the book. Many of the firsthand accounts by survivors felt very resonant in their nuance, and this in itself was healing to read. I don't know whether to feel discouraged or soothed that many of the organizers writing here seem to acknowledge that attempts at accountability for harm have a tendency to be messy, and by the fact that examples of successful transformations by those who've done harm and lasting accountability for survivors as a result of existing processes are both notably scarce in these pages. Still, the fact that such a book exists at all today speaks volumes about how far we've come to break the silence, and I'm grateful for those who have poured their hearts and souls into finding a way forward....more
A novella with an incredible premise that offers a lot to explore, which unfortunately lacks the courage of its convictions. A demon that kills anyoneA novella with an incredible premise that offers a lot to explore, which unfortunately lacks the courage of its convictions. A demon that kills anyone who tries to get power over anyone else is an amazing concept, which, in reality, would be wreaking havoc on any town (yes, even a town of consensus-guided anarchists) from day one. Even if you can get past the idea that the town has instead been more or less peaceful for a year or so, (implying either virtual sainthood on the part of the townspeople, or very low standards on the part of the demon), the twist at the end still breaks the internal consistency of the anarchist message. Either wielding a weapon against the powerful is an act of predation, or it isn't, but the narrative can't decide which. And I may have missed it, but there also doesn't seem to be any explanation for why certain characters who the narrative finally condemns as having been predatory, were allowed to live for as long as they were. Plot holes and messy moralizing weaken this otherwise thought-provoking, delightfully chilling, and refreshingly inclusive work of horror and fantasy....more
This book is honest, and painful. Many of the things it reflects are things I don't want to look at, but am grateful someone else knows about. I hope This book is honest, and painful. Many of the things it reflects are things I don't want to look at, but am grateful someone else knows about. I hope Casey Plett keeps writing....more
This was really beautiful and honest, and some parts made me cry... not something most books can do. Will definitely be looking for more Shraya in theThis was really beautiful and honest, and some parts made me cry... not something most books can do. Will definitely be looking for more Shraya in the future. And definitely need more similarly high quality trans lit in my life....more
There will always be room on my bookshelf for fiction about trans women/girls by trans women/girls. I would not normally look twice at a young adult hThere will always be room on my bookshelf for fiction about trans women/girls by trans women/girls. I would not normally look twice at a young adult high school romance novel, but I was in the mood for a quick read, and I'm really glad I landed on my copy of If I Was Your Girl.
I grew up starved for reflections of my experience, and for the longest time, all that was available were those provided by the cis gaze - showing trans women as inherently problematic, laughable, disturbing, or sensational. Mostly, these works focus on cis people's martyrdom for putting up with trans people's freakiness. It's only in the last few years that I've been able to access depictions reversing this, that speak instead to the emotional impact on trans women of having to carry the weight of those same judgments, day after day. This book is a great example of this emerging genre.
If I Was Your Girl may have its flaws: while the protagonist's idealization of "normalcy" is a realistic character trait for someone who has been told she is a freak all her life, it sometimes feels like it's being promoted by the author - despite the concluding author's note rejecting cisnormativity as the only valid way to be trans. However, the books strengths greatly outweigh any occasional straying into wish fulfillment, and these are just a few of them (kind of vague spoilers ahead):
1. A trans girl narrating her own experiences with cis society in a way that feels very real: heartbreaking self-loathing, inability to believe people's acceptance of or desire for her, sudden anxiety/trauma triggers, tension between longing to fit in in and desire to disrupt oppressive norms. 2. A nuanced discussion on the desire to be stealth, how it is compulsory, what it takes from you and your relationships. A frank examination of both the need for and risks of vulnerability. 3. A story about a trans girl learning to believe she fully deserves love, and ultimately not about getting her value from a boy's desire for her. 4. Positive, compassionate, and realistically paced growth arcs for cis people who are trying to love the trans girl in their life the way she deserves. 5. Trans friendships!!! Passes the trans lady version of the Bechdel test. 6. Not shying away from the presence of tragedy in every trans person's life, nor leaving us with a tragic ending. 7. An artful depiction of the fragility of masculinity, how it produces toxic male violence, and how it disproportionately harms trans women/girls. 8. Honest depiction of grief for an old identity, even when it never fit, not just on the part of the cis characters, but also on the part of the trans character. 9. A story that isn't a by the numbers medical transition narrative, and which for the most part only flashbacks to moments from transition when they are emotionally relevant to the current story. 10. Friendships with other girls in general, and subverting the knight in shining armor trope by replacing it with solidarity between girls.
So as you can see, there's plenty to love, and this is solidly in 4 star territory. While some story points may not always be the most realistic, the narrator's internal world always felt honest, and that's worth a lot to me....more
As a trans woman, this book hit close to home in a way that no other fiction has for me, except maybe A Safe Girl t***This review contains spoilers***
As a trans woman, this book hit close to home in a way that no other fiction has for me, except maybe A Safe Girl to Love. I picked it up because nearly every trans woman I know has been raving about it for the past couple of years. At first, I was moderately enjoying it, finding certain passages pretty relatable - most of the character's gender analysis, the frustrations with interacting with people who knew you before transition, the inability to be present for sex or fully open up about your desires, and the way that damages your relationships. But it was still someone else's story - I've never really lived in a big city, I've never been punk rock (or even thought I was punk rock), and Maria and I are pretty different people. It was a solid character study, and far more relatable than most fiction, but still at a distance for me.
Then I got to Part 2. All of a sudden I was transported back five or six years, to my days of mounting angst and self-destruction prior to transition. In James H. I was reading about a younger version of myself. The detachment, the never-ending weed, the unspoken shame, the paranoid, furtive attempts at self-exploration, the desperate hope of and fear of finding someone else like you in an isolated, small town. The fear of your true personality so great that you try to obliterate any trace of a personality, like through the adoption of other people's interests, e.g. the painstakingly curated "classic" DVD collection. It all came back, and I couldn't put the book down. It was re-traumatizing, but also strangely validating nostalgia. And I needed to know James H. would make it through okay. When Maria arrived on the scene, I thought maybe I would see James H. set off on the path to being okay.
If you've read the book, you know that it ends in a way that feels quite abrupt and ambiguous. There's no tidy resolution for either character – they don't ride off into the sunset together, reach the Pacific, get James H. started on hormones. The story closes with an abortive end to the encounter with Maria, as James H. draws back into denial. For the first few moments, I felt disappointed, like I'd been denied closure for my younger self. Then I realized, that I had been looking for a dishonest ending. I'd been reading Part 2 as a wish fulfillment fantasy, what I sometimes want to imagine, in my "what if" moments, that my life would have been if a trans woman who had her shit figured out would have magically swooped in during my confused self-hatred, told me what was what, and helped me grow into myself at an earlier age. What I half-heartedly had wished would happen for me at the time. But Imogen Binnie didn't let me have that, and good fucking thing. She kicked some sense into me with that ending. It turns out, nobody really has their shit figured out. And even if they kind of did, and they tried to tell you, you wouldn't have been able to hear it until you were ready to hear it. James H. wasn't ready for what Maria was trying to show him. In Nevada, our proxy doesn't get to go back in time and save our younger selves from the bullshit they've internalized. Our younger selves were doing what they needed to be doing to survive, and we need to learn to be at peace with that, so that we can be at peace with ourselves now....more
This is the first time I've seen the experience of being a young trans woman accurately reflected in written fiction. It's refreshing, heartbreaking, This is the first time I've seen the experience of being a young trans woman accurately reflected in written fiction. It's refreshing, heartbreaking, and inspiring. I am definitely gonna keep an eye out for anything by Casey Plett in the future.
Zoe
P.S. Thanks for signing my copy, Casey!
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P.P.S. in 2019, still a powerful collection on the re-read. Though every piece in it is well worth the time, stand-out stories for me, in order of appearance, are these four: "Lizzy & Annie," "Portland, Oregon," "Not Bleak," and "Winning." The pace in these is just right, and just enough is said and left unsaid to let you really feel with the characters instead of being told how to feel, along with the occasional hard-hitting line:
If this was all it would be, okay. She was lucky to have her at all. Who knew, Lizzy thought, the finite amount of nights in her life where she would sleep with her hand around a trusted body. That trusted hers. It wouldn't be a lot, anyway, would it. ...more
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