Quick Things --I could do without the constant mentions of Naruto, dear lord. We get it, you love Naruto. Do you need to make a reference to it literalQuick Things --I could do without the constant mentions of Naruto, dear lord. We get it, you love Naruto. Do you need to make a reference to it literally every chapter? No.
-- I'm sure it's probably just a stylistic choice, but there are a lot of run-on sentences and comma splices, which I personally wasn't the biggest fan of.
--The author is also weirdly obsessed with the number 38 for some reason? Every time a number is mentioned, it's always 38. 38 Unanswered text messages 38 seconds 38 times that a character does something (hyperboly, of course) Like... why?! That's such a weirdly specific number!
My biggest gripe... My biggest gripe with this book is that in the last 20 pages, the dad does a COMPLETE 180 from who he was for the entire book leading up to this point. Like, for the entire book the father is established as this major hard-ass who's pushing Matteo into baseball. He belittles him, he screams at him... he's borderline verbally abusive to him, to the point where Matteo's mother at times has to intervene, which just makes his dad angrier. He even refuses to take Matteo to the hospital when he suffers an injury during one of his games that is later revealed to be a broken wrist. After which, by the way, his father basically calls him a "retard" for getting injured in the first place. He is portrayed in every way to be the angry, domineering patriarch of this family for the entire book. And then the moment that Matteo comes out to his dad, he instantly transforms into a different character: being sincere, telling Matteo it doesn't matter to him that his son is gay, and giving him a hug.
Uh... What?
I'm obviously not mad that Matteo's dad is being caring and compassionate in this moment. But in relation to his character and his actions leading up to this moment, it does not make sense at all. So, he was fine for the entire book to berate his son, call him slurs... but the moment he comes out, his dad just decides in an instant to become an ally? And then, there's no follow-up. No moment where they sit down and have a long overdo heart-to-heart. No conversation where his father says, "Hey, I know in the past that I've treated you a certain way. That was wrong and I'm sorry. I should never have behaved that way." Nope, none of that. So we're just forced to accept this reality where everything has now magically been resolved. Again, I'm not against the idea of Matteo's dad growing and evolving as a character. But... let us see that! Make it make sense! Take the time to establish his growth as a character rather than just deciding in a single page to have him completely change in every way and then not talk about it. That's not good writing!
And it's not like the author was pressed for space. This book is short, coming in at 223 pages. He absolutely could have written that conversation. He had plenty of space to create better pacing and tension with regard to Matteo's dad's response to him coming out, going through his own journey in accepting his son. Maybe he really doesn't at first. Maybe he's in denial. He resorts to his typical anger response, and Matteo's mother has to intervene and protect him again, and his dad gets angrier that she's yet again coming to her son's defense--which we've already established! That's the thing, you've already established this relationship between Matteo and his father. You've established how he is at home, how he interacts with others, how these altercations tend to go. Even Matteo's mother knows better than to tell Matteo's father that his son is gay. She wouldn't do that unless she had reason, right? Because she knows how Matteo's father would react.
But then all that buildup, all those scenes showing Matteo’s father as this terrible, angry man, the threat looming over Matteo of what would happen if his father ever found out the truth… all just for nothing to actually happen.
There was just such a glaringly missed opportunity to expand on Matteo and his father's relationship, both coming to terms with the other and on where Matteo's coming out leaves them. So to see none of this executed and have it be an incredibly short book on top of that... was just a pretty big letdown for me. This book could've been so much more. Emphasis on more....more
There are no words. This is genuinely one of the most beautifully written YA novels I have read in recent history. But then again, I should’ve known beThere are no words. This is genuinely one of the most beautifully written YA novels I have read in recent history. But then again, I should’ve known better. It is David Levithan, after all. And oh, how much I’ve missed reading a David Levithan book. This just confirms to me that he’s one of my favorite YA authors, favorite queer authors…just one of my favorite authors in general. He knows how to weave a story, how to put every thought into every single word. I cannot express to you how many quotes I had to jot down because they were just so…stunning. Beautiful. Perfect.
I loved every second of this, reading about two boys falling in love, one date at a time, and just how pure and beautiful their love for each other is. Especially if you’re a fan of Heartstopper, I implore you to read this book. It’s essentially a novelized version of Heartstopper, and it will give you the same warm fuzzies that you can’t help but feel for Nick and Charlie while also reminiscent in how they show up for each other through the highs and lows, proving that love endures in a world that tries to erase them.
Oh my god, I want to cry. This was so beautiful....more
I’m sorry? THIS WAS PERFECT AND BEAUTIFUL IN EVERY WAY IMAGINABLE. Oh my god! I feel like I’ve been in a sort of drought with finding a five-star readI’m sorry? THIS WAS PERFECT AND BEAUTIFUL IN EVERY WAY IMAGINABLE. Oh my god! I feel like I’ve been in a sort of drought with finding a five-star read, especially with YA lately, but this was SO GOOD. This is the Ellie and Dina story that we didn’t get but the one that we deserved. This was…phenomenal. I spent all day reading this in one sitting, and it’s the best time I could’ve spent. No regrets. This book will continue to live in my soul for a little while. ...more
Thank you to NetGalley as well as the Epic Reads Insiders Team for an early-access copy of this book in exchange for an honest review!
Reading the synoThank you to NetGalley as well as the Epic Reads Insiders Team for an early-access copy of this book in exchange for an honest review!
Reading the synopsis of this book, I was immediately drawn in, much like the allure of the Midnight Circus that’s at the center of this new YA release. A mix between The Night Circus meets the Wayward Children series, but make it queer. What could be more enchanting!
With all of this in mind, I already went in with pretty high expectations. Because as a reader, I loved The Night Circus and similar books that have this escapism, dreamlike quality, and I was ready to be swept up by the magic of it all. Unfortunately, this one just didn’t land for me. This was trying to somehow be both a YA contemporary and a fantasy, and I just didn’t think that the two blended well. In all honesty, I was much more invested in Asher’s day-to-day struggles of attending Catholic school as a closeted trans teen, his relationship with his grandparents, and feeling confined by their expectations vs the life he really wants to live as his authentic self. I absolutely loved these moments and I think this could’ve easily just been a contemporary novel and I wouldn’t have even missed the circus element at all…and that’s saying something, coming from, again, someone who ordinarily likes books about the circus.
For me personally, what didn’t work for me was the implementation of the Midnight Circus as a whole. For the longest time, I wasn’t even sure whether the Midnight Circus was actually real or not. And then when I realized that it was and how it was starting to seep into Archer’s real life, I hated it as a trope. It just required me to suspend…SO much disbelief, because now that it’s not just a dream and it’s something that actually exists in the real world, I have so many questions. I just think the Midnight Circus would’ve worked a lot better in this story being something that only existed in Asher’s dreams. Speaking as someone who maladaptive daydreams, this would’ve deeply resonated with me a lot more, and it actually makes more sense in regard to Asher’s story for the circus to be his own form of maladaptive daydreaming as a way to mentally escape to a place where he’s able to live his “dream life.”
It also took me a while to realize that the people in the circus are all real people in everyday life like Asher who are all fighting their own battles when they’re not at the circus. It would’ve been more effective if the author wrote to this A LOT more. We get a lot of Asher seeing the circus as his safe place where he can be accepted as his true self, but not a lot from the other people in the circus. There was such a missed opportunity to write more to the found family element that the Midnight Circus encompasses, but it seemed like it was mostly just Asher who was at the center of it. I would’ve loved more scenes where the characters could all open up and talk about their home lives, where they could be more fleshed out as characters and all have their own rich backstories—where we get to know them more deeply beyond who they are when they’re in the circus.
Final thoughts: This was overall…okay. Again, I absolutely loved reading about Asher’s journey of carving out a space for himself in a world that isn’t always welcoming. I just didn’t love how the Midnight Circus was implemented into the story. For me, it would’ve elevated Asher’s story so much more if it existed solely in his dreams and was used, at first as a means of escape but gradually became the driving force for him to feel brave enough to live his authentic self in his real life too and to no longer need the Midnight Circus anymore. I think that would’ve been a lot more impactful and worked better for this kind of story....more
Thank you so much to NetGalley for sending me an advanced digital copy of this book in exchange for an honest review!
When I initially heard about thisThank you so much to NetGalley for sending me an advanced digital copy of this book in exchange for an honest review!
When I initially heard about this book, I immediately added it to my TBR because--really, how can you not? The description alone left me swooning: an enemies-to-lovers sapphic love story on a flower farm? Sign me up! And while you’re at it, call up HallMark to do the adaptation because yes! Plus, the cover. The cover! This was everything I could’ve wanted in a fluffy sapphic romance and checked all the boxes…or so I thought.
Besides the fact that this is a sapphic romance, one of the love interests, Pepper, is also autistic. And while I can’t personally speak to the autistic representation myself, it is encouraging to see more of this kind of representation featured in literature, to have characters like Pepper, whose own experiences relating to their autism are referenced throughout the novel.
Another thing to note about this novel: it is verrrrry spicey. As in, very very spicy. So be aware of this going in, if that isn’t your thing. For me, I don’t typically like spice in books. That’s just my own personal preference, and I did go into this book thinking it would be more of a cute and fluffy HallMark-style story. But I will say: even though spiciness isn’t typically my thing, I actually loved how the spicy scenes were written in this. There’s so much open communication written into these scenes between Opal and Pepper. Going into their first time being intimate with each other, the two are each coming from a different place, different levels of experience, different insecurities, and it was so refreshing seeing them navigate this together with nothing but reassurance and compassion. And this honestly needs to be the rubric for people in sexual relationships in real life as well as in future books with intimate scenes.
Normalize one partner not having any prior experience. Normalize said partner not knowing what to do and not feeling ridiculed by the other partner but rather supported. Normalize constant communication and checking in with each other and making sure this or that feels okay.
I especially loved the moment when Opal opens up to Pepper about her own insecurities with her pubic hair. Again, I feel like this is something that often doesn’t get addressed in most romances but is SO important to normalize in sexual relationships. This was probably the one scene in the novel where I truly felt my heart melt for these two characters, the way that they show vulnerability and support each other in this moment.
My Hangups To be clear, I don’t think this is a terrible book—not by a long shot! I think a lot of people will genuinely enjoy this book. It just didn’t do anything for me. I really wanted this to be a cute and fluffy romance on a farm, not unlike many a HallMark movie. I’ve also read books with the enemies-to-lovers trope in the past and have usually found them really enjoyable and endearing. But this one to me was just too angsty for my liking. Pepper as a character also absolutely infuriated me pretty much the entire time, so between those things, this wasn’t very enjoyable to read because, quite frankly, I didn’t care if the two love interests ended up together. If I’m being honest, I felt the most bad for Opal throughout the entire book. It’s clear that she has trouble standing up for herself and putting herself first and is just all-around a chronic people pleaser—to her own detriment. So between her letting Miles and Laini walk all over her, and even later when Pepper makes her feel like an intruder in her own house and shows so much disdain for her even as Opal still bends over backwards to try to please her, I just wanted to shake her and tell her to stand up for herself for once. Of course we know that Pepper is going through her own struggles and we know where a lot of her anger and distrust is coming from, but I still didn’t think her treatment of Opal was fair. So to me it felt like Opal was almost going from one toxic relationship to another, where she’s yet again made to feel like she doesn’t matter, yet again feels the need to overcompensate her people pleasing as a desperate plea for validation. Not exactly the kind of relationship you’re rooting for.
Even Opal’s ending feels underwhelming. She spends the entire book putting everyone else before herself, bending over backward to please people. And by the end… she’s still the one to bend over backwards for others while not really receiving anything in return. So let’s see. Pepper gets to keep her family farm. She gets to go to college, thanks to the fact that Opal poured her earnings into creating a college fund for her. What does Opal get in the end? I guess Pepper is the prize? Yay..? I just wanted so much more for Opal.
There were other issues here and there that I had, which mostly came down to writing. Moments where it definitely felt like the writing was underdeveloped. Parts of the plot or certain scenes that I thought could be more fleshed out. And then just some outright cliche moments, like the fact that no one thought to, I don't know, go into Grandma Lou's bedroom and look in the incredibly conspicuous jewelry box that's sitting right on the nightstand, where her will has been this entire time. Also, as a frustrated Millennial who can't afford to buy a home in this godforsaken year of 2023, I can't begin to voice my exasperation that Opal is able to outright buy an entire farm "for the vibes" even though she has absolutely no prior knowledge of real estate, mortgages, how much houses costs, and doesn't even know how to write a check. I hate this economy. But I digress.
Final thoughts: I guess I just wanted so much more from this, and it didn't quite deliver for me. There are still so many positive takeaways from this novel that readers may find comfort in, from dealing with grief to learning to overcome the hurt from your past. But as a romance novel, this wasn't a favorite....more
Let me start off by saying, it isn’t that this book is terribly written. It’s a solid YA novel and I’ve read I want…to fling this book…against a wall.
Let me start off by saying, it isn’t that this book is terribly written. It’s a solid YA novel and I’ve read far worse by authors who have been writing in the YA genre for years, so I commend Hayley Kyoko on her writing debut. And this book did have a lot of promise in certain areas, and I absolutely felt for Coley as a character throughout the entire novel. Every emotion that she goes through is so palpable on the page, and there’s so much all at once that she’s dealing with. Her presence is absolutely what makes her a compelling character for me. Putting that aside…
… I just hated everything that transpired in this book. I was equal parts frustrated, angry, and miserable basically the entire time, which is not something I am personally wanting out of my sapphic summer reads. Like, can I just say that? Can I just say that I’m SO OVER the trope in sapphic stories where one of the love interests is horrible and emotionally manipulative toward the other? Apparently this is a common trope I’ve been seeing in a lot of wlw books and I’m ready to read books where queer girls just unapologetically love each other, full stop. Basically what I’m trying to say is that I needed this to be the lesbian version of Aristotle and Dante, and it just so wasn’t.
Don’t let the cover fool you. This is not one of those unforgettable love stories where two girls fall in love over the course of a summer and it’s sweet and tender and magical. In actuality, the love interest is extremely confused about what she wants and spends the entire novel playing absolute mind games with our protagonist Coley, flipping a switch on a dime, being extremely emotionally manipulative, then proceeding to gaslight Coley time and time again, blaming her for reading into things, having absolutely no regard for her feelings, and then adamantly refusing to acknowledge that she herself did anything wrong. Like, I’m just gonna say it: Sonya is a shitty person, which is not what you wait to say about the main love interest, but there it is. And when I tell you that I was rooting against them getting together the entire way through, just for Coley’s sake. Because god damn, she deserves SO much better than Sonya and her shitty friends—minus Alex, who deserves the world just as much as Coley. Which, speaking of, another reason Sonya sucks is that she’s not even a good friend to Alex! Even when her asshole boyfriend is being a bully, she refuses to stand up to her own friend who she’s known since they were little. Like, she’s just not a good person, so already from the get go I don’t want her to be with Coley, because Coley deserves someone who is good, and who is nice to her and who would never treat people the way that Sonya does.
What’s frustrating is that… I also understand why Sonya is the way that she is. It can be a touchy subject, delving into relationships where one is clearly not out yet and navigating that territory. So I get that Sonya is just confused and dealing with a lot of internalized homophobia and suppressing who she really is, while also dealing with a lot of outside pressure from her mom, from her friends and peers, and maybe even just how the world was at that time with homosexuality (this book being set in the early 2000s.)
And while I can understand all of this… I feel like there is a way that this could all be conveyed—Sonya being confused, afraid to speak up or show her true self—while also not being so intentionally cruel to her. This is the part that I can’t look past, is that Sonya is just a shitty person who has no regard for Coley’s feelings, who puts her through so much, is so emotionally manipulative, and intentionally hurts her time and time again… who doesn’t even stand up to her own friends? I can’t forgive that.
And the cherry on the fucking cake is… the ending. At a certain point, it almost looked like the book was going to end with Coley and Sonya going their separate ways, and Sonya promising to Coley that one day she’ll be as brave as Coley is and not be afraid to be who she is. This would’ve been a really good sentiment to end on. That even though they can’t be together because of where Sonya is at, having Coley be the representation of a happy queer person that Sonya needs and will look to when she eventually decides to make that call herself one day. Don’t get me wrong, I still would’ve hated Sonya by the end anyway for everything she put Coley through, but at least this would’ve been hope for the future and it would’ve made sense for Sonya’s character and just an overall promising send-off to end the novel.
And we ALMOST get that ending. Until, I shit you not, the last two pages, when Sonya finally decides that enough is enough and that she’s ready to show up for Coley and be with her rather than run away from who she is. And Coley happily embraces her… the end!
Like… what? Th-that’s it? So because this time she “promises,” Coley’s just going to assume that she means it and that everything’s going to be fine? There’s no moment where Sonya declares her love for Coley in front of her friends? Comes out to her mom and has that conversation with her? There’s literally no follow-up at all. For the emotional hell that Sonya put Coley through over the course of this entire book, for all of it to just be okay in a matter of two pages? I cannot accept that, and I just felt it was extremely abrupt. I couldn’t even allow myself to be happy about it because… I was still pissed at Sonya! And I needed her to have more time to redeem herself, to right her wrongs, to ditch her shitty friends, to apologize to those she’s hurt… and I didn’t get a single ounce of that. So I just felt cheated by the end. It felt like my best friend got back together with their terrible ex for the hundredth time and I’m expected to be happy for the two of them when really I’ve been actively rooting for her to move on and find someone better.
(Dis)honorable mentions: —Fuuuuuuck Trenton. He is the actual worst
—Also… fuck Brooke too! Fuck both of them since it’s heavily hinted at that they’re hooking up behind Sonya’s back. But even on her own, fuck Brooke because she sucks!...more
This was my most anticipated book of 2024. I mean, a platonic love story about two aroace friends in college? Sign me THE HELL UP. While this wasn’t qThis was my most anticipated book of 2024. I mean, a platonic love story about two aroace friends in college? Sign me THE HELL UP. While this wasn’t quite the perfect-in-every-way five star in the end, I’m still giving it four stars because I did think it was an incredibly important novel, especially within the aro/asexual space of the LGBTQIA+ community that desperately needs more positive representation like this. There was so much valuable discourse around the aro/ace experience and queer identity as a whole, as well as other important conversations that I think readers will really appreciate and take away from. There was so much heart behind this novel and these two characters navigating their college experience while grappling with what it means to be aroace and how to exist happily in a world that continually tells them that they need a romantic partner to “complete” their life. (Spoiler alert: fooey on that narrative!)
And while I did enjoy this a decent amount, it didn’t quite hit it out of the park in the same way that say, an Alice Oseman book would. I guess I needed this book to be more…wholesome and sweet. Instead, I found the whole Wendy vs. Wanda social media feud honestly really irritating and at times incredibly cringey in that way when you see Gen-Z people trying to be bullies on the internet. Chatspeak like “lmao????” that instantly makes you roll your eyes and is going to date itself in about five years, along with other topical things like the constant references to Taylor Swift and calling the cottagecore aesthetic “cringe.” I also found Jo to be an irritating character a lot of the time…which sucks because I also deeply related to her character A LOT when it came to her opening up about her worries of being alone in life and not having a core friendship group. So I was torn between really relating to her character in these moments…but also hating that I related to her character, considering the other half of her character was insufferable.
Yeah, I could completely do without the Instagram war between Wendy and Wanda. That’s what ultimately brought the book down for me and made it less of the sweet, wholesome friendship that I went in wanting this to be. Even so, I do still think this is a really important contribution to the aro/ace space within young adult literature, and I’m so glad this book exists for my fellow a-spec readers! ...more
My only critique about this is that narratively, it was allllll over the place, which drove me crazy and gave me whiplash. I myself prefer memoirs wriMy only critique about this is that narratively, it was allllll over the place, which drove me crazy and gave me whiplash. I myself prefer memoirs written in a more linear structure, and I think for me this would've been more impactful as well as more memorable, splitting this book up into eras in Elliot's life, giving me a solid idea of what his childhood was like, what his teenage years were like, what his early 20s were like, etc. rather than having his memories split up all over the place in fragmented pieces like a shattered glass ball....more
This graphic novel series has become such a comfort read for me. I love these characters so much. I especially appreciate with this new volume that evThis graphic novel series has become such a comfort read for me. I love these characters so much. I especially appreciate with this new volume that everyone is at a place in their life where they’re growing up and starting to make big decisions about their futures and where they want to go next.
For Nick and Charlie, this means not only potentially being long-distance but also taking their relationship to the next step—and in typical Alice Oseman fashion, both were handled exceptionally well. I loved watching Nick and Charlie navigate these uncharted waters together while continuing to show so much love and support for each other. It just makes me love them even more. And while there’s still so much left up in the air for where this leaves them next, no matter what challenges lie ahead, a part of you finds comfort in knowing they’ll get it through it together ...more
No, but really, I was hesitant when I picked this up and saw how massive it was compared to They Both Die At the End. But Adam Silvera brb ugly crying
No, but really, I was hesitant when I picked this up and saw how massive it was compared to They Both Die At the End. But Adam Silvera is such a master storyteller, I shouldn't have had any doubts that this would be exceptional. Silvera has such a way of sucker-punching you with a single line and making you care so deeply about characters who you only met a couple of pages ago. And just like with They Both Die At the End , this doesn't just follow our two main protagonists but a number of other background characters whose stories we follow, however briefly in this moment in time. I've always loved that aspect of this universe, showing that even minor characters have a story to tell that will leave just as much of a lasting impression on us.
I should probably give this 4.5 stars, but I just... physically cannot give this anything less than five stars. However, I will say that one critique I have is that it's basically a rehashing of They Both Die At the End with different characters and a slightly different story. But a lot of the same elements from the first book--young love, a race against time, learning to live in the moment-- are still there. So in that way, this isn't so much a "prequel." I mean, yes, it is interesting to see how Death Cast got itself started and what those very first days were like. But we still don't really have any answers by the end. We still haven't unraveled the mystery behind how Death Cast works and who the entity behind the green curtain is, who is able to accurately know the day that any given person is going to die. So if you're looking for those kinds of answers, this book might be a bit of a letdown. But if you're wanting another great epic story told in this universe that is guaranteed to make you ugly cry (again!), then I highly recommend picking this up....more
This was everything that I wanted this book to be. I loved how this was part memoir, following Grace through her Catholic school upbringing, but also This was everything that I wanted this book to be. I loved how this was part memoir, following Grace through her Catholic school upbringing, but also partly examining early 2000s pop culture through a queer lens. As a fellow product of the early 2000s, this was simultaneously so much fun and such a fascinating, engaging read. Grace expertly weaves humor with deep, thoughtful analysis from the perspective of a queer person looking back on her favorite shows and movies growing up that, whether for better or worse, shaped her journey into her own queer identity and becoming who she is today.
* * *
Now... *cracks knuckles* I got a bone to pick here, so buckle in.
The biggest crime of this book is discussing our favorite DCOM gay icon Ryan Evans and… NOT bringing up the blatantly homoerotic musical number “I Don’t Dance” from High School Musical 2? Like, how do you reference Ryan Evans--nay, how do you discuss queerness on Disney channel--without discussing in great detail what is perhaps the gayest scene in Disney channel history, delivered to us by our Lord and Savior Kenny Ortega, an openly gay man himself who knew exactly what he was doing.
There is mounting evidence alluding to this musical number’s true meaning. I have studied this scene so heavily to the extent that I could probably write a thesis on it at this point. And I know I'm not alone in this school of thought, so I consider it my duty to give the people what they want and use this review as a space to discuss this scene that should have absolutely been in this book but that readers were sadly deprived of:
We know that Ryan is not only queercoded, but fully confirmed by Ortega himself in an interview that Ryan was written to be gay. He unfortunately but not surprisingly ran into red tape by Disney to not openly reveal his sexuality because at that time Disney wasn’t ready for a gay character (sigh). Lucas Gabreel, the actor who plays Ryan also suspected from the beginning that his character was gay and asked Ortega as much, who admitted to Gabreel that Ryan wasn’t straight (a fact that the author leaves out, I can only guess because she wasn’t aware that this was part of Ortega and Gabreel’s exchange) Lucas has also said that if they did a reboot of High School Musical and reprised his character, that he wouldn’t feel comfortable as a straight person, depicting a queer character.
So… there is no longer any shred of doubt that Ryan is gay. With that knowledge, then, this makes the “I Don’t Dance” scene even more heavily queer-coded. You can no longer pretend that it’s an innocent song about two perfectly straight dudes having a dance-off (despite the song’s title, I know. This is musical theater after all. Everyone dances) Now it’s become a musical number where a gay character is encouraging a masculine-presenting jock dudebro who historically balks at anything remotely feminine, that he can step out of his comfort zone and indulge in less stereotypically masculine interests like dance and musical theater. This setup alone would still make this a pretty progressive scene that opens up a discussion about resisting gender conformity. But you can’t help but think while watching this scene, “Is this about something else? Are we still talking about “dance” here?” Because it certainly sounds like there are undertones of a gay character coaxing a bisexual character out of the closet and reassuring him that he can like baseball (girls) but he can also like boys (dancing), too! Let’s just go through some of these lyrics together:
(Chad) I wanna play ball now, and that's all / This is what I do There ain't no dance that you can show me.
(Ryan) You'll never know (Chad) Oh I Know. (Ryan) If you never try. (Chad)There's just one little thing that stops me everytime
(Ryan)That's what I mean, that's how you swing (Chad) You make a good pitch but I don't believe (Ryan) I say you can (Chad) I know I can't I don't dance
These lyrics are so suggestive, and if Chad gyrating his hips while singing, “I’ll show you how I swing!” isn’t enough to convince you… I don’t know how else to spell it out that this song isn’t just about baseball! It’s also worth noting the double entendre of the word “swing” used throughout this entire song, which we all know the meaning of when someone says “I don’t swing that way.” This entire song is about Chad emphatically denying this other side of him, insisting that he’s straight, while Ryan knowingly sees right through him and says, “Not if you don’t try!”
It's the lyrics. It's the suggestive undertones. It's the gyrating and booty shakes. And are we not gonna talk about how in literally the next scene Ryan and Chad swap outfits?? Come on! It truly fills me with glee that Kenny Ortega at some point must have cheekily passed this along to Disney execs, who were so clueless as to think this was simply an innocent song about "dudes being dudes" and playing baseball, when we all know it was about so much more. And I’m not alone here. You need only to look up the scene on YouTube and see 99% of the comment section screaming giddily over how gay this scene is, with such comments like “There is no heterosexual explanation for this” and "If Chad were any deeper in the closet, he'd be meeting a talking lion."
The people have spoken. This scene is hella gay and absolutely deserved a space in this book. Thank you for coming to my TedTalk....more
I received a digital copy of this from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review
This may very well be my favorite comprehensive book on asexuality tI received a digital copy of this from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review
This may very well be my favorite comprehensive book on asexuality that I’ve come across yet. This went above and beyond any other book I’ve read on asexuality that, comparatively, felt a bit more basic and rudimentary. They would only ever skim the surface of all that asexuality is and can be for many different people. Because after all, asexuality is far from being a monolith, which is one of the points that Cody drives forward in this book, delving into all of the intricacies, nuances, and micro identities that fall under the umbrella of experiences that is asexuality.
Even just reading this myself, I came across nuances explained in the book that I myself experienced in my own asexual identity but always struggled to come to terms with because I feared that it made me “not asexual enough” or “not really asexual.” But it was only because I didn’t have the vocabulary until now. This just shows that your identity can constantly shift and grow as you gain new insight into asexuality that you hadn’t know before. This is just one of the many reasons why this book is so, so important, not only in highlighting these other micro identities that are seldom discussed about in detail, but in Cody’s insistence to the reader that your journey with asexuality is yours and yours alone. There is no “right” way to be asexual. There is no checklist or official diagnostic sheet that grants you the right to call yourself asexual. Your identity is whatever feels right to you.
I also just really appreciated that this book had genuinely useful information for asexuals in their everyday lives, from how to know when the right time is to come out that makes sense to you (or if you need to come out at all), to navigating the realm of dating and relationships as asexual. This gives so much more of a jumping off point for asexuals to even after finishing this book, to incorporate and practice in their own lives that goes so far beyond just a basic Asexuality 101 with basic terms and vocabulary.
This was simultaneously the most in-depth and most validating, affirming book for any asexual to read. Cody not only brings in-depth knowledge of asexuality to his book but also comes forward with such empathy and reassurance, reminding us that our asexuality is not something to apologize for but a part of ourselves that should be celebrated and embraced. This is a must-read for anyone who belongs to the A!...more
I told myself that I would at least push through to the end, and it didn't seem in the spirit of Pride Month to DNF a queer bookOkay, I'm callin' it.
I told myself that I would at least push through to the end, and it didn't seem in the spirit of Pride Month to DNF a queer book. But it's like I put it down, and ever since I've had absolutely no desire to pick it back up again. And I can't stress how unattached I feel to this story. I have no attachment to any of the characters. I'm not invested in the love story. Hell, even the drama and politics aren't enough to grip me. I truly don't care what happens. And honestly, even before I had reached this point, I was never fully engrossed. I was sort of just coasting along until the inevitable happened and I lost all interest.
I think my issue is that from the get go I wasn't drawn into this love story. There was nothing about it that made me swoon or root for the characters or that felt all that special to me. Essentially, this read as deeply fanfiction, which I loathe. Fanfiction isn't my cup of tea, so this sort of romance was already not winning me over from the start. And I have my own qualms with fanfiction. Like, I'm just not a fan of people (*cough* mostly straight women) getting their jollies off by fetishizing gay men and writing stories that start off like, Oh my god, wouldn't it be sOoO sexy and scandalous if the Prince of England and the son of an American politician got all steamy?! which is basically what this reads as. For the record, I know that Casey McQuiston is queer, but this still just read like a page ripped out of one of about a billion fan fictions that already exist on the Internet. Like, I didn't feel my heartstrings getting tugged by their love story. I couldn't bring myself to care about either of these characters individually because it felt like they were there just to play out some fanfiction scenario, and there was nothing deeper than that. Not to mention, the whole "AU where the snarky American and the prim and proper Englishman are gay for each other" is something I've seen played out and imagined so many times in fandoms, on Tumblr, on Fanfiction sites, so already that trope is just so tired and unoriginal.
I think another reason I couldn't quite get into this was because there were a lot of aspects of the plot that I wasn't interested in. The political campaign B-plot. The high society element and "who's who" of all the different high-profile characters. Privileged rich people and their privileged rich people problems such as Ugh, we have to get on our private jet to go to this BORING charity event?! As IF. This was such a stark contrast from One Last Stop where the friend group feels so much more authentic and true to life and that they could be any other group of friends who live in an apartment together in the city and spend fun evenings together and go to their favorite diner. There was nothing about the friend group in this book that felt relatable or that I could personally connect to, and overall it just lacked that wholesome quality that made One Last Stop so charming and lovable.
Other Things —There were moments that just felt over the top to where I had to suspend my disbelief. Exhibit A: When Alex's mother (aka the President of the United States) made up a PowerPoint presentation after Alex had just come out to her, and one of the slides is titled "Federal Funding, Travel Expenses, Booty Calls, and You." Like, I can see how one would think this would be funny, and maybe it would be if it were a sitcom where you could suspend your disbelief a bit more. But the way it was executed here, it just came across as more cartoonish and not believable, which you do have to reign in a little more tightly when it comes to literature.
—Okay, this book does something that is a personal red flag for me in books, and that is mentioning famous celebrities from our world and inserting them into a scene. To me, it's fine if you mention a well-known person in a book just in casual conversation, But the second you make that famous person a minor character in your book where they interact with your story, (ex: He saw David Beckham, who looked in his direction and waved) then it just breaks some sort of boundary for me. I know in this world that Alex and Henry are high-profile people and that they WOULD be in these social settings where they have run-ins with famous people. I get that. But dear god, just make up your own celebrities that only exist in your world. Otherwise it's tacky.
–I cannot stress enough how one-dimensional the characters are, particularly Henry. His character just painfully read as being written by someone pulling from their own cliche perception of what they think British people are like because they watched, like, that one Hallmark movie and now they're like, Ah, yes, this is what British people are like! I just have to say words like "bloke" and "chap" and "bloody" a bunch of times! There was even one moment where I legitimately had to put the book down, and it's when Henry is staying with Alex at his dad's lakehouse, and this happens:
Henry: What are these infernal creatures? Alex: Mosquitos
I... can't. This whole trope of "British people are clueless aliens! They don't know anything about life in America!" is getting so tiring at this point, especially if we're acting as if Henry doesn't know what mosquitoes are. Mosquitoes. I promise you. I PROMISE you. British people know what mosquitoes are. And if this is about the fact that he's a Royal, well that's no excuse either because I can still assure you that no matter how wealthy and privileged a person is, they are not so removed from society that they don't know what a mosquito is. And this goes back to this book just being very cliche and one-dimensional when you have scenes like this that feel like they've been done so many times before of the wealthy British person who hasn't really lived and doesn't know what bugs are.
Final Thoughts
I had my suspicions picking this up that it would read... pretty much exactly how I expected, which is why I held off on reading this for so long. But I read Casey McQuiston's other novel One Last Stop first and loved it so I thought maybe I would give her a shot with this book after all! And while I didn't end up loving this, I guess I can be grateful that I picked her second book up first. Because if I had read this one first? I'm not sure if I would've wanted to continue picking up her other books......more
I picked this up on a whim, but honestly? I didn't love it. There were some cute, wholesome moments, as well as some important messages interwoven thrI picked this up on a whim, but honestly? I didn't love it. There were some cute, wholesome moments, as well as some important messages interwoven throughout. And like, it's fine, I guess?? It's not that it's bad, per se. It just wasn't anything spectacular, and it had its flaws for sure.
The biggest reason I just couldn't enjoy this more is the fact that... aside from Annie, all of Beebee's friends literally suck. Like, from the get go they don't have completely pure intentions when it comes to their friendship with her. They want to make her homecoming queen literally for their own benefit, so that it can look good on a college admissions essay (no joke). They exclude her from group hangouts, make snide comments about her behind her back, and in general exhibit a lot of microaggressions and transphobia toward her. Like, her "friends" are just the worst?? And the one time that Annie calls them all out on their shit and stands up for her, Beebee quickly defuses the situation and doesn't want to make a thing of it—which just made me really sad that she feels like she has to tolerate this treatment rather than finding more decent friends.
Even worse... the friends don't really have a moment in the end where they face accountability. Like, the entire span of the book, they say things about Beebee behind her back (completely unbeknownst to her!) and it never comes out or becomes a thing that's fully resolved. They just... continue to be kind of cliquey and not the most genuine of friends. Sure, in the end Beebee learns to stand up for herself and has her own moment, but not when it came to her squad who should've been better supporters of her. So that was really disappointing to basically have to witness her friends being crappy to her the entire book and then not learn their own lesson. Oh, but it's a book about ~friendship~ I guess? Truly, Beebee deserves so much better.
The other hangup about this book is the pacing. It just was choppy and not well polished. Like, literally within one panel we find out that BAM! Annie has a crush on Beebee. How long has she had a crush on her, you may ask? Oh, y'know... like, two days. Yeah. Listen, I get that it's a graphic novel and that you only have so much space to tell so much story. But there's a way to properly add nuance and the passing of time and a well-paced, well-plotted out story that isn't super abrupt.... and this wasn't it.
Honestly, I was going to give this three stars, but after writing this review, I really do think it's a two-star read for me. This presents itself as being positive and wholesome and uplifting, but almost every character in this book sucks, the love story is ridiculously underdeveloped, and Beebee deserves so much better. Period....more
I was so pumped to read this. A lighthearted wlw summer contemporary involving a cross-country road trip in an ice cream truck? SIGN. ME. UP. I was reI was so pumped to read this. A lighthearted wlw summer contemporary involving a cross-country road trip in an ice cream truck? SIGN. ME. UP. I was ready for alllll the wholesome summery vibes. But mannnn, did this turn out to be a letdown. Despite the promise that this book would be ice cream and rainbows (literally, ha!), this book was barely enjoyable at all. It was so unbelievably angsty and prominently featured a trope in literature that I absolutely cannot stand: the thing where the entire conflict of the novel could've been resolved instantly if they had just communicated. So all in all, this was just such a frustrating book to read from beginning to end.
The first half of the novel is the most angsty as Fallon spends pretty much the entire time acting like a petulant child, throwing temper tantrums left and right, and being unbelievably petty any chance she can get, to the point where at times it's honestly ridiculous... llike, bringing her own separate tent to sleep in that's actually just a child's tent in the shape of a shark. Yeah. So the whole first first half of the book is basically just all of that: Fallon slamming doors, glaring, scowling under her breath, crossing her arms—the works. Yet one thing she refuses to do is actually... you know, communicate honestly about why she's feeling this way. You'll soon see that this is a theme throughout the book.
But as much as Fallon drove me crazy, I gotta say, she seemed at least somewhat justified, considering Chloe isn't much better. Chloe is pretty dismissive of Fallon's feelings. Plus, she has a signature catchphrase, which just so happens to be one that I loathe: "It's not that deep." Not only do I hate this phrase for the cringey, Gen-Z slang factor, it's also just about the most dismissive thing you can say to immediately deflect any kind of accountability for your actions or to think about how your actions may affect other people. Now that we're on the topic, Chloe overall was a very frustrating character to me. Throughout the book, Fallon is clearly hurting, and time and time again Chloe shoes that she isn't taking this seriously and exhibits a number of problematic behaviors, from deflecting blame to not being sensitive to Fallon's feelings (at times even gaslighting her) to sending her all kinds of mixed signals, thus making her feel more hurt and confused. Later, toward the end of the novel, she turns very hypocritical, getting offended when she thinks that Fallon used her to have sex and be her "first." So in Chloe's mind, it's fine for her to use Fallon and write it off as "just sex" (her words) but it's not if it's the other way around and Fallon hypothetically does the same to her? Mmk. And yet despite declaring "it's not that deep" and downplaying Fallon's feelings by saying it was just sex throughout basically the entire novel, toward the end Chloe appears to be developing feelings. So when another girl at the food fair is being friendly toward Fallon and shows interest in taking her out that night, what does Chloe do? She becomes ultra possessive: flirting aggressively with Fallon, butting in and speaking for her by saying she already has plans when Delilah tries to ask her out, and whispering in her ear, "Don't go with her, go with me." Like, literally why? Pretty sure Fallon is allowed to do what she wants, damn.
I'm just gonna say it: I honestly don't like Chloe at all. She's an incredibly messy, flighty, and at times emotionally manipulative individual who doesn't know what she really wants half the time, resulting in Fallon getting hurt because she's receiving incredibly mixed messages. Not to mention, Chloe's MO is ultimately leaving rather than confronting the situation and having an open and honest conversation. It's like, the second things get tense, Chloe simply can't deal and has to run away, which I know is very legitimate avoidant behavior, and certainly not healthy, but it's not fair of her to do that to Fallon and then have the audacity to act like she did nothing wrong and that it must be Fallon's problem. Fuck that. Fallon deserves so much better than getting yo-yo'd for the entire novel. To put it bluntly, this was... not a fun, sweet love story despite what the cover might suggest. It was messy and largely one-sided for most of the novel. Even once it was mutual, it was still toxic, and I simply did not have favorable opinions of Chloe. Like, I don't think I've ever NOT wanted two people to get together so much in my entire life.
Other Things
1. There's this really annoying thing that happens repeatedly throughout the book where Fallon will say, "You're probably wondering ____" and then state the very thing that we as readers are all wondering like, Wow, why is Fallon being such a stubborn child? Why can't they just communicate? So there's this level of self awareness and breaking the fourth wall that Fallon possesses. But then it's frustrating and also kind of a cop-out because she'll bring up these thoughts that we're all wondering as readers and then immediately dismiss them like, "And my answer to that is, I don't care!" Which, first of all, why'd you even bring it up if you had nothing to contribute? It almost feels like the editor asked the author at some point in the editing process, "Hey, what if your readers are wondering these things about your character?" and she just went, "Totally got it covered..." and used this as a quick and dirty solution. To me, it was just incredibly frustrating any time this came up, and to me it doesn't make for very good writing.
2. Apparently, it isn't just Chloe or Fallon: LITERALLY NO ONE IN THIS BOOK CAN COMMUNICATE PROPERLY—not even the parents! The moms are incredibly manipulative in this book, basically tricking their daughters into driving alone across state lines together, just so they can resolve things and ultimately force their daughters to be best friends just like the two of them are. So much so that they don't even consider their daughters' feelings at all. They want to force this dream of theirs so badly, even when Chloe and Fallon are clearly uncomfortable and emphatically express this to them. Even when they make it clear that they're not comfortable sleeping in the same bed together, the moms never step in. It's so unbelievably self-centered and reeks of bad parenting. And of course in the end when Chloe and Fallon eventually learn of how they were both manipulated, the two understandably express how betrayed and used they feel, and Chloe's mom Carmen says, "Don't be so dramatic." Wow, so is this where Chloe gets her toxic behavior or what! And like, even though everything technically worked out in the end, this could've potentially been a serious situation to be forced into, especially the prospect of having to share a bed together. It was horrible enough as it was for Fallon to go through since she did lose her virginity to Chloe. But what if god forbid, Chloe had raped her and Fallon was too embarrassed to open up about it to her mom? I hate to go to extremes, but that's one possibility of what could've happened, and her mother wouldn't have remotely had her own daughter's best interests at heart because it was too clouded by her own selfish reasons.
So basically: aside from the awesome lesbian couple at the campsite who honestly deserve their own book, pretty much every other character in this novel sucked, and they all need counseling. The end....more
Please don’t take my 3-star rating to mean that I didn’t enjoy this book or that I thought it was average. I genuinely enjoyed my time with this, and Please don’t take my 3-star rating to mean that I didn’t enjoy this book or that I thought it was average. I genuinely enjoyed my time with this, and there are a lot of reasons to love it! It was a solid read. I just wouldn’t put it down as one of my all-time favorites or anything, and I will admit that I resonated a lot more with The Sky Blues than I did with this. But I definitely still think this is worth your time!...more
FINALLY, a sweet, queer summer romance worth raving about! I feel like I’ve been in a drought lately where I’ve just been picking up book after book, FINALLY, a sweet, queer summer romance worth raving about! I feel like I’ve been in a drought lately where I’ve just been picking up book after book, nothing really grabbing me. So after all that, this book felt like a breath of fresh air! Set in a small town in Tennessee, a summer romance begins to blossom in an amusement park founded by country music’s biggest star. What’s not to love about that?!
As expected, this book has all of the amusement park antics. One of the characters is in a big musical production where he is cast as the back half of a donkey costume. He’s literally the ass of an ass. Meanwhile, the other character works in the kitchen of one of the restaurants, starting out as a dishwasher but hoping to pick up some cooking chops along the way and pursue his dream of one day being a professional chef. But besides all of this fun, this book truly has a lot of heart. Both characters have their own dreams of becoming something bigger and going after what they were born to do, and there’s such an earnestness in that. Luke also has some troubles within his family that he’s dealing with, and he feels the pressure of that weighing on him and putting strain on his relationship with Emmett. You will absolutely feel for these characters as they navigate not only this new relationship but their own personal struggles as they fight to carve out a space for themselves in a world that doesn’t always make them feel welcome.
Critiques —I do wish we would’ve been given the coming out scene between Luke and his mom instead of fading to black. Like, I want to know what that looked like and how that conversation went. I also thought it was a bit of a copout to reveal that Luke’s mom was actually never homophobic after all and that it was all just a big misunderstanding? Not that I *want* her to be homophobic, obviously. It just felt a bit cheap to do that and took away from what could’ve been an opportunity to navigate a difficult coming out situation that, unfortunately, a lot of queer people find themselves in when growing up in perhaps less accepting families. It would’ve been nice to have that representation, that moment of realism, rather than just tying everything in a neat little bow and having this ultra-idealistic scenario akin to an after-school special where every character immediately accepts them without question.
—While I was rooting for Luke and Emmett from beginning to end, I will admit that I saw a little bit of Charlie (Heartstopper) in Emmett. And while I wouldn’t go so far as to say that Luke was Ben Hope, it still felt like an all too familiar dynamic we’ve all seen before. One character is already out while the other isn’t, which makes the character who’s out feel like they’re something to be ashamed of and thus feel like they have to apologize even just for existing so as not to scare the other person away. And throughout their relationship, I definitely got the sense that Emmett was the one who gave and gave and gave, bending over backwards to try to please Luke while Luke did little to reciprocate and only tried his best to hide their relationship. It just broke my heart a little to see this imbalance in their relationship. And while I can completely understand Luke’s reasons and that he didn’t feel ready to come out yet, I still didn’t think it was fair to Emmett. In general, I just got the impression that he didn’t like Emmett as much as Emmett liked him, and at times it definitely seemed that Luke was taking advantage of how willing Emmett was to do him favors.
Final Thoughts
This was such a fun summery read that I highly recommend you pick up, whether you’re a fan of country music or not! I’m not personally a fan of country music myself, but I still thoroughly enjoyed this! And you know what, after this book? Maybe I’ll have a change of heart…...more
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