You see, Anna married “West” as a mutually beneficial convenience for both of them so they could obtain married student housing at college. Years later, (real name) Liam shows up at Anna’s door asking for her to fake wedded bliss one last time in order to fulfill a codicil of grandpappy’s will and be his date for his sister’s weeklong destination wedding to a private island. If they can pull off the illusion she’ll be handsomely rewarded. Oh, and at some point they gonna shut their mouth and run faux Isle Esme me like a river . . . .
To think I have requested anywhere I could for an early copy of this only to be denied them all. Somebody was actually looking out for me and I just fTo think I have requested anywhere I could for an early copy of this only to be denied them all. Somebody was actually looking out for me and I just failed to listen. I looooooved Crazy Rich Asians as well as Sex and Vanity, but unfortunately this time around . . .
The leading female is a doormat, the leading male a cuck, the mother is 50 shades of total b*&^% with a heaping helping of internalized racism boiling over at every opportunity. The plot could have been fun (rich people who are actually broke), but the story development was pretty much nonexistent and consisted of over explaining whatever opulence was taking place in the current setting (whether it were designer clothing or five star food or over the top wedding venues or blah blah blah), followed with just a teensie little bit of plot progression, rinse, repeat until you finally get the ending that could have easily been predicted from nearly page one.
(And once again - Dear Authors: Literally 350 pages is generally all you need. Stories like these aren't a real magnum opus.)
It’s the opening soirée of The Manor and we begin at the end with a dead body and the exclusive resort burning . . . then immediately shift back to the beginning of this luxurious weekend. Rotating narratives from the owner, hired help, husband, guest, etc. unfold the whodunit along with the lore of “The Birds” who are rumored to hold claim to this land.
It’s summer. It’s a trillion degrees everywhere. Go find a body of water to cool off in and have some fun with this one.
Anyone who has ever experienced 9 to 5 life in cube farm hell might be able to relate to Jolene’s passive aggressive email responses which she always writes in white font . . . that is, until the day she forgets to adjust the setting and lets her true feelings fly. Jolene finds herself in a mandatory HR course that will teach her how to behave in the corporate environment, but also comes with an unexpected glitch where she can see EVERYTHING going on by way of the computers. We’re talking not just calendars, but emails and even instant messaging. With rumored “rightsizing” on the horizon, maybe Jolene can use this inside track to become a better version of an employee after all.
Okay, so these hermit-y people with trauma in their past stories might seem like a dime a dozen at this point (I mean I unintentionally found myself listening to one while reading this so they are errrrryyyyywhere), but Jolene’s voice felt so fresh that I really enjoyed this one. I could have lived without Miley the neighbor kid and the drinking issues because they really weren’t necessary whatsoever to me except to add to the page count, but other than that not a whole lot of complaints.
I’ve said it a billion times that I don’t generally love magical realism . . . unless it’s in the form of a romance story. I was 100% sure this would I’ve said it a billion times that I don’t generally love magical realism . . . unless it’s in the form of a romance story. I was 100% sure this would be for me. The idea of coming home from a girl’s night out to be greeted by a husband you didn’t have when you left the flat – only to be greeted by a NEW husband each time the previous one goes in to the attic to fetch something sounded absolutely delightful. I wasn’t sure if this would be finding Mr. Right by accident or maybe a “one who got away” do-over sort of love connection, but I was certain I was going to love it.
I mean NOTHING happened aside from Lauren sending literally hundreds of dudes back up the ladder. WTF? Where was the plot? The character development? The chemistry? The romance???? I have soooooo many can’t wait to reads that have queued up from the library in the past few days I spent wasting my time waiting for something to happen with this. So disappointing! ...more
Anybody see Shelby out there? Don’t tell her where I am.
“It’s the setup that is so fascinating,” said Wendy. “Two strangers meet on a tr
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Anybody see Shelby out there? Don’t tell her where I am.
“It’s the setup that is so fascinating,” said Wendy. “Two strangers meet on a train, by accident. They get to talking and we find out one of them wants to kill his father, and the other has secret fantasies about killing his wife.
“They swap murders,” said Amanda, smiling and nodding. “Right. That way each of them can set up the perfect alibi, and they can’t be tied to the crime.”
So there is 100% NOTHING wroooooooooonnnnng with this story – it’s a classic. But that also ended up being a bit of a problem for me. I will read (and read and read and read) ANY reiteration/reimagining of Strangers On A Train. Since that’s the case, it’s simply a matter of liking others more than this. If you know me you know I’m not always a giant fan of additional perspectives, so I wasn’t super in to hearing from “Ruth” (and I guessed really early on the plot twist that was going to come). Suspension of disbelief is obviously a requirement to enjoy this one, and there are some glaring oddities like insistence of using a payphone rather than cell phones (because those are on every corner still) and a seeming unawareness of how the female reproductive system works. Also, blurbing “Hitchcock inspired” on a BOOK when said inspo was first a book itself written by Patricia Highsmith and only adapted to film by Hitchcock started me off with a bit of a bad taste in my mouth. Give credit where credit is due, authors. All in all, though, this was pretty fun. ...more
In my defense the first one had potential – it just needed some work. The second and third both had great covers and I got them before Colleen Hoover’s name and blurb was plastered all over the front to serve as a warning for me. Rose’s stuff is the truly the literary/writing equivalent of CoHo’s style – only in the form of “thrillers” rather than romance. If that’s your jam, then she’s your gal.
Per usual I put a hold at the library for Tananarive Due’s newest release without knowing anything about it. I previously read and really dug The BetwPer usual I put a hold at the library for Tananarive Due’s newest release without knowing anything about it. I previously read and really dug The Between, so it was a no-brainer. And let me tell you – this one????
Twelve year old Robbie attempts to defend his sister’s honor after witnessing the neighbor kid trying to get fresh with her, but that is simply something that is not done by a black kid in the South when said neighbor is not only white, but also from a family who kind of owns the town. Robbie finds himself sent to The Reformatory – known for not only its brutality, but also its haints. As Robbie’s sister tries to devise a plan to get Robbie out, he is simply trying to survive.
I don’t have any words for this other than read it. Every Star....more
If you are trash like me, you might be familiar with the term “the sun shines on a dog’s butt every once in a while.” This could also be rephrased as If you are trash like me, you might be familiar with the term “the sun shines on a dog’s butt every once in a while.” This could also be rephrased as occasionally Kelly actually likes something that she has really been anticipating. Oh, but have no fear, friends – I’m still a wrongreader as most of my pals found this to be pretty lackluster. Me, however???
I was really vibulating with the Ira Levin sort of feels I was picking up. Be forewarned, this tale of a couple who inherit a deceased uncle’s $5M fat pad in NYC doesn’t contain many twists or turns, so it’s truly about the connection. I have no idea if the homage to Levin was intentional or not, but I was picking up on the best sort of tasty tidbits from Rosemary’s Baby and (maybe the only decent part at all) from Sliver.
The one thing I found absolutely unnecessary? The time-hop to the narrative in the past. That was 100% a lame distraction simply for “shock and awe” (and very little of that) that could have easily been information revealed while Rosie was digging through the boxes upon boxes in the storage unit to discover the “haunted” past of the historic Windermere. Also? Please don’t name characters “Chad” . . . .
This is the time where half stars would be great because I truly think this falls at 3.5. Buuuuuut, Imma round up because Lisa Unger remains firmly planted on my “don’t care how, I want it now” list and to maybe convince her publisher to not deny me every time I request an ARC since I actually read AND dig her stuff....more
This was pretty much a you had me at hello for a couple of reasons . . . .
First, the cover. As much as I despise face covers, I don’t mind this creepy peeper whatsoever. Also, I’m a HUGE fan of authors who stick with the same font/format for their books. I have soooooo many problems recalling names and titles, but I can remember cover art nearly every time.
These bishes were everything I wanted them to be. Like grown up Mean Girls – or even better since they were not only wealthy, but Londoners, a gaggle of Caroline Stanburys . . .
But what is it about you might be asking. Lemme tell you. Tash is trying to navigate her way through balancing motherhood while simultaneously trying to gain a name for herself as a freelance journalist. Her latest story involves looking into a supposed accidental drowning – as requested by the dead girl’s mother. In order to get some free time to work, she enrolls her son in a playgroup containing a group of cliquey, well-to-do mothers. When they take Tash under their wing, she leans right in to keeping up with the Joneses only to discover they knew the deceased as well.
If you like a quality Lifetime Stabby Stab/Desperate Housewives sort of whodunit I’m telling you this is a winner. So satisfying to my little garbage addicted persona! The only complaint????
Come on, authors! You think we’re amateurs? We know all about this stuff – and don’t even get us started on petechiae. Or maybe I should make a note to myself if this is how police investigations/forensic pathology works across the pond and if I ever decide to murder someone, make sure to do it over there ; )...more
While this has an extremely high Goodreads’ rating, I’m happy to see a mixed bag of reactions from my friends so I’m not feeling like quite such an outlier. I was totally willing to blame myself and the giant bookhangover I’m currently experience (for the first time in eons), but really compared to some of Katherine Center’s earlier stuff, this was just serviceable.
The story here is about an aspiring screenwriter who gets paired with a seasoned vet (of the action/alien/shoot-em-up film varieties) to polish a real turd of a rom com he has committed to creating in order to get the greenlight on his passion project – a ‘70’s mafia film. Credit where credit is due, the characters were both likeable enough (although I certainly wouldn't want to be in a relationship with either one of them) and Center is great at banter. I just didn’t feel much chemistry and think her best work is more chick lit with a tinge of romance. Also, as a lover of a “cartoony cover” I much preferred when she did the floral ones – these cartoon people aren’t cute. And, as always, my Roman Empire is stop writing epilogues for every romance. So unnecessary. Just give me the happily for now and call it a day.
Despite not loooooooving The Last Housewife (to me it really was just a cut and paste of the actual Nxivm headlines from a few years ago), I really dug In My Dreams I Hold a Knife so I requested the library to buy this immediately after being denied the ARC. I didn’t know anything about it before beginning – and then I saw the cover blurb by Clare Mackintosh . . .
Yep. That was pretty spot on. Kudos to you, Ms. Winstead, for having the backing behind your fan fiction and for willingly admitting your love for all things Twilight even all these years later. ...more
If you’re new to my space let me begin with a little recap of my reading style. #1, I hate face covers. #2, I generally don’t read blurbs. I 100% did If you’re new to my space let me begin with a little recap of my reading style. #1, I hate face covers. #2, I generally don’t read blurbs. I 100% did not read a blurb here and was willing to overlook my own opinion about a face cover because ever since I read Luckiest Girl Alive I have been dying to get my hands on a new release by Jessica Knoll.
Which leads to #3, I am an idiot. As soon as I started reading this I was like “hmmmm, they’re straight up naming Florida State as the place where this sorority killer did his killing??? Usually authors tend to name a fictional place.” And then I kept reading and was like “man, this is reading like a true crime story about something that really happened.” BECAUSE IT WAS! Good lord . . . .
If you like serial killer stories and fictionalizations of true crime, this one is not to be missed. It is so quietly powerful with regard to not only the mind of the murderer, but in general with how female victims and witnesses were treated (especially back in the 1970s, but I’m sure still today). And the delivery is matter-of-fact – not preachy or TED talky – it just is what it is. Obviously I had no clue what this was about before (or while) reading, but I was fully invested the entire time.
This one had me at the cartoony cover and a blip stating it was about a family of grifters. Unfortunately, “grifter” was more like a hot bu
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This one had me at the cartoony cover and a blip stating it was about a family of grifters. Unfortunately, “grifter” was more like a hot button word thrown around to attract readers while no actual grifting was to ever take place between the pages.
Instead we get basically zero backstory regarding the Moorewood legacy, only that Jillian has returned to the mansion where all these grown-ass people live together like some weird commune (via helicopter, because ridiculous) after a stint in the federal pen when she went down for the entire family’s sins. There’s a bevy of characters – none of which are developed so good luck getting to know much about any of them that’s not directly at surface level (a/k/a Jay = bad uncle and also philander, Emma = good sister who somehow is now a real computer wiz, Astrid and Anika = twin cousins and who even cares since there’s no story). There’s also a zero chemistry, let’s bang the newly hired bodyguard that takes center stage to muddy the waters even more on an already awkward plot. ...more
Sooooooo I requested the library to buy this book like six months ago because I was so sure I would love it after reading A Flicker in the Dark …. and then I looked at my review and noticed I gave that one 2 Stars. Apparently I rewrote history in my own brain.
However, due to my diligent publication stalking I was first in line on release day and figured what they heck - going in completely blind. All I knew was the cover was pretty and the title was pretty meh (stand behind that - the title doesn’t even go with the content). Then I started and realized it was a kidnapping tale and ….
Yeah, that’s not usually my idea of a great time. Buuuuut I’m no quitter so I kept calm and carried on.
I’m going to be real upfront and say this was some rough going at the beginning. Overly descriptive “purple” prose detailing the mundane is most certainly NOT my jam. It’s a good thing I’m not a DNFer and read fast so my suffering was fairly short lived because around the 20% point Willingham started finding her rhythm. I’m happy to report that the various timelines ended up being quality rather than a distraction, there weren’t nonsensical additives such as a random romance or too much sideline sleuthery and the big reveal(s) was especially satisfactory. ...more
Did I totally take my Bookstagram photo in my firm’s law library/coffee bar surrounded by a bunch of dudes standing in line for their afternoon pick-me-up from the fancy barrista machine??? You bet your Birkin I did!
And now for what I have to say about the actual book. Cover? 27 out of 10. Title? Fifty’leven out of 10. Content??? Wellllllllll, let’s summarize this one in song, shall we? ♬♪♬ Grab your coat and get your hat – suspend all disbelief at the doorstep ♬♪♬
The story here is about “it” girl Kitty. Social media influencer by day and serial killer whenever the need arises. “Kitty’s Code” lays out a clear set of Dexter-esque rules where only the most deserving of uggos are the ones to get whacked.
Sounds great, right? Well, maybe it works better for those who believe you can cart out an entire grownass dismembered dead man in a Balenciaga shopping bag easy breezy beautiful Cover Girl style without ever breaking a sweat, leaving a drippy trail or struggling nary a bit to heave it past the doorman. Or maybe you didn’t like sausage rolls to begin with and can tolerate this “vegan” beating you over the head about how the mincer at the local pork processing plant is the best way to turn your latest victim into upscale pigs in blankets. Or maybe the add-in stalker and big reveal will be more your jam. Unfortunately for me, by the end of this one I was pretty bored.
When did rom coms stop being allowed to simply be rom coms? I’ve been blaming myself for disliking all of the things, but I really don’t th
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When did rom coms stop being allowed to simply be rom coms? I’ve been blaming myself for disliking all of the things, but I really don’t think it’s my fault. I want to read these for the cutesie covers and titles, a bit of the slap and tickle (whether fully monty or fade-to-black style), instalove, tired tropes, witty banter, a frustrating break-up/make-up sesh and a happily forever or for now (hopefully without the addition of a whoopsie pregnancy to harsh my endorphin buzz).
What am I ending up with recently? Bait and switch. No other way to call it. So let’s go down the bullet points of why this highly anticipated release is landing on the Naughty List - and spoiler alert - it ain't for the pornstar sexytimes!
1. First, the title. There is no “meet cute” involved.
2. Second, 418 mothafuggin’ pages? Christ on a cracker!
3. Third, the holiday movie premise of a would be bride who doesn’t believe in the spirit of Christmas gets sent back in time by a witch, meets a duke and falls in love? No one in the universe would watch that. Hallmark (or the Hope Channel, as it’s called here) has a formula: tightass corporate broad/dude gets sent to take over a town and falls for not only the daughter/son of the owner of the lodge/tree farm/whatever but the entire idea of small-town living and leaves corporate life behind to wear Fair Isle sweaters and Ugg Boots 364 days of the year. The end. 12 Stars from Kelly if D.J. from Full House is the leading lady.
4. Fourth, as a fat person I am 100000000% into body positivity, inclusion, diversity, whatever you want to label it. But as far as I’m concerned, the only way to normalize fat being okay is to stop beating readers over the head with the flipping’ fat talk. Say the character is fat and then just let them be a regular fucking person. Because we are. Fat authors should realize that more than anyone.
5. Fifth, having a character (who really is pretty much off-screen the entire time and whose only purpose is to bring up mental health (see my opening paragraph above about rom coms just being rom coms FFS) with bipolar disorder who is presented as completely unable to function on her own without her son’s and the government’s assistance (but who has a teenage daughter whose life is miserable due to her inability to manage her medical condition) is a pretty disgusting approach to what mental health disorders truly are like. While there are people who need a little more assistance than others, an overwhelming majority are able to hold down jobs, or raise their children, or at least could survive a few days on their own without calling their adult son eleventy-seven times per day while he's working.
6. Sixth, the little things:
(a) The porny cat is gonna get outta the bag. Unless the time traveling witch curse from the fake movie premise also eliminated the intertubes from existence. There should have been some semblance of a plan on what to do when it happened. Or at least put Bee in a wig or glasses or something as an attempt to disguise her identity.
(b) Any former boy band member whose ring tone IS HIS OWN G.D. SONG is a douchecanoe. Do not pass Go. Do not even think about getting in my underwears.
(c) I’m pretty sure you don’t need lotion in the shower to jerk off. Wouldn’t you just use soap or shampoo or conditioner???? Do I not know how sex things work? Don’t answer that. It’s probably a yes.
(d) And speaking of lotion. FOURTEEN mentions of jerking off with gingerbread lotion. Dear Bath and Body Works: It’s Julie Murphy and Sierra Simone’s fault I will never again buy one of your holiday scents.
So there you go. 2 Stars instead of 1 because I'm in the holiday spirit . . .
Talk about anticipation! I immediately requested an ARC of this and upon rejection made a super early request for the library to purchase a copy upon Talk about anticipation! I immediately requested an ARC of this and upon rejection made a super early request for the library to purchase a copy upon publication date . . . and then waited, and waited, and waited. Lisa Unger, a title/cover like this and a closed door mystery????
The story here is about Hannah (and her husband Bruce), her brother Mako (and his wife Liza) and her lifelong bestie Cricket (and her boyfriend Joshua). The three couples are participating in a weekend getaway at, you guessed it, a secluded cabin that sleeps six. The story is provided by all three leading ladies, the cabin’s caretaker (unnecessary attempt at a red herring (???) - you are introduced to the bad guy almost immediately), a stranger (dun dun dunnnnnnn) and also happens to feature a sort of story within a story type of flashback to a past by a fourth male narrator. It’s clear from the jumpstart and a surprise Christmas gift of a 23 and Me knockoff under the tree that there’s going to be some dysfunction junction type of stuff going on – you just have to keep reading to find out exactly what it is.
This slow roller doesn’t ramp up the action until the halfway point so it requires some patience. There’s also the continually mentioned threat of impending storms that will flood the roads that doesn’t come to fruition for eternity either. As I said above, you know who the bad guy is right off the bat and the remaining characters are either unlikeable or undeveloped filler just waiting for the reveals, but said reveal was quite satisfactory so I’m going with 3 Stars. (But did anyone else notice the amount of typos and omitted words in the final product? Sloppy sloppy.)...more
Kelly (and the Book Boar)
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