Relationships 101 Quotes

“The only person that should wear your ring is the one person that would never…

1. Ask you to remain silent and look the other way while they hurt another.
2. Jeopardize your future by taking risks that could potentially ruin your finances or reputation.
3. Teach your children that hurting others is okay because God loves them more. God didn’t ask you to keep your family together at the expense of doing evil to others.
4. Uses religious guilt to control you, while they are doing unreligious things.
5. Doesn't believe their actions have long lasting repercussions that could affect other people negatively.
6. Reminds you of your faults, but justifies their own.
7. Uses the kids to manipulate you into believing you are nothing. As if to suggest, you couldn’t leave the relationship and establish a better Christian marriage with someone that doesn’t do these things. Thus, making you believe God hates all the divorced people and will abandon you by not bringing someone better to your life, after you decide to leave. As if!
8. They humiliate you online and in their inner circle. They let their friends, family and world know your transgressions.
9. They tell you no marriage is perfect and you are not trying, yet they are the one that has stirred up more drama through their insecurities.
10. They say they are sorry, but they don’t show proof through restoring what they have done.
11. They don’t make you a better person because you are miserable. They have only made you a victim or a bitter survivor because of their need for control over you.
12. Their version of success comes at the cost of stepping on others.
13. They make your marriage a public event, in order for you to prove your love online for them.
14. They lie, but their lies are often justified.
15. You constantly have to start over and over and over with them, as if a connection could be grown and love restored through a honeymoon phase, or constant parental supervision of one another’s down falls.
16. They tell you that they don’t care about anyone other than who they love. However, their actions don’t show they love you, rather their love has become bitter insecurity disguised in statements such as, “Look what I did for us. This is how much I care.”
17. They tell you who you can interact with and who you can’t.
18. They believe the outside world is to blame for their unhappiness.
19. They brought you to a point of improvement, but no longer have your respect.
20. They don't make you feel anything, but regret. You know in your heart you settled.”
― Shannon L. Alder

“A person that doesn't know their worth will never know yours. Therefore, the longer you hang onto hope that they will finally see your worth is the moment you start to depreciate in value.”
― Shannon L. Alder

“The reason a lot of women can't move on from a relationship or people they love is because they need to know why. Why did this happen? Why did you do this? Why don't you care? Why did you hurt me? Why do you believe this about me? Why did you send me mixed signals? Why are these other people in your life acting like you care? Men have it all wrong. Insecurity is not why a lot of women don't let go. Women have a difficult time letting go because men don't communicate why at the level that women require. They don't back up their words with actions that are not confusing or could be misinterrupted as something else. Until, men learn that their actions and their friends and families reactions can create a questionable doubt about how they feel, they will forever have to deal with the drama they create for themselves.”
― Shannon L. Alder

“If you truly loved someone and they couldn't be in your life you won't hurt them. You will pray for them. You will hope that they find their happiness and place in this world. You will want them to have the best life because love isn't about possession, fear or desperation. When you have a grasp on eternity you don't need to feel time is running out. Time is all you have. Love isn’t a game of musical chairs--grab a partner and sit down. It is a search for the right fit for your soul and life purpose. In a life that never ends you will either find the one that sees you as much as you see them, 0r who knows? Maybe, if there are such things as soulmates, God will introduce you, but keep you far enough apart, until each of you fulfill something more important for your growth or God’s plan. Regardless, when you can face eternity alone you will know what true love is and that letting go is not an insult to your soul. You can smile because the person you loved has your blessings of protection with them and God has your best interest also in mind. You will find that person to complete you because God wants you to, as much as you do.”
― Shannon L. Alder

“Sometimes your inability to let go has nothing to do with real love and everything to do with what that person represents in your life. Why do you give them so much importance? Why do you believe that God doesn't love you enough that he would not bring someone else into your life? Why do you put up with less than you deserve?”
― Shannon L. Alder

“You will know you are in love when it doesn't matter if you sit in heaven or hell with that special someone just as long as they can make you laugh, while you put out the fires.”
― Shannon L. Alder

“Temptation goes both ways. Sometimes, you can be tempted to live a half life because it pleases someone else. Don't ever live in such a way that your heart splits into two souls. You might find yourself sinning for the rest of your life because you don't want to really be in that situation, but you don't want to hurt the kids. That is a hell that your children will pick up on soon enough. Staying for the kids is possible, but it takes two people to agree that choice is their lifestyle, not one. Otherwise, you hold another person captive because of your fear of stating the obvious-- you are not in love with them.”
― Shannon L. Alder

“Some people need significance more than they need another person. Change will only happen in a relationship when you realize it is not the person, but the "emotion" you desire.”
― Shannon L. Alder

“It is better to be alone then to be in a relationship, while you are trying to figure out what love means to you.”
― Shannon L. Alder

“People meant to be together will always take detours through pain, misunderstanding and pride, but some how they always drift back to the one thing that makes them feel alive.”
― Shannon L. Alder

“If you are hurting because they hurt then they are the ONE.”
― Shannon L. Alder

“There is no failure in loving someone, only in never letting them know.”
― Shannon L. Alder

“Never believe someone cares for you because of other people's reactions. Sometimes you have to drown out the noise from the crowd, in order to figure out if there is a song playing between the two of you or simply annoying static that you thought was a tune.”
― Shannon L. Alder

“The only man worth having in your life is one that would never let you walk away.”
― Shannon L. Alder

“You have to recognize your inability to love before you can love the way God loves. His version of love is unfamiliar to the natural world; It is sacrificial and selfless and the most beautiful love you could experience.”
― Shannon L. Alder

“There really is nothing normal about being in love with someone. It's a million emotions with a million excuses.”
― Shannon L. Alder

“Love is so many things, but it is not safe.”
― Shannon L. Alder

“Religious guilt will never grow the kind of love you want in someone.”
― Shannon L. Alder

“The only healthy marriages that survive are the ones where two people became best friends and learned how to rescue one another, over and over again.”
― Shannon L. Alder

“You will know what and who really matters to you the moment you feel you have lost them.”
― Shannon L. Alder

“Fearlessness is not what you do to win, but what you don't do. When you love yourself as much as your God, you won't see other people as the source of your pain. Rather, you will see who you have become because you honestly believed that your chains would be broken through hatred, instead of kindness.”
― Shannon L. Alder

“Timing is only lack of enough emotions.”
― Shannon L. Alder

“If you have something over a person you're not in a relationship; you are in a situation.”
― Shannon L. Alder

“Choosing a mate is not a matter of can they do the job, rather will they. A partner of "potential" doesn't make for a happy marriage. Their actions have to be in line with your needs.”
― Shannon L. Alder

“Inside of you is your love, not beside you. She is just there to remind you of where you placed her heart.”
― Shannon L. Alder

“You can spend the rest of your life fighting to be respected, accepted and understood by the people you have created a life with or you can start living a life where that isn't a daily goal and ambition in your relationship.”
― Shannon L. Alder

“Relationships are the flavors of life.”
― Pawan Mishra

“Empowered Women 101: Everyone wants to be a princess, but you weren't the first princess in his life. They scrubbed his floors, washed his workout clothes, picked up his dirty socks and dealt with his issues. Always remember that history leaves a pattern of what to expect. A real woman knows that the bible is a motivator, but the real instruction manual is observing the last woman's struggle.”
― Shannon L. Alder

“Empowered Women 101: Confident women know the difference between being a meal ticket and being the meal.”
― Shannon L. Alder

“Our primitive ancestors learnt various behavioral characteristics like jealousy, possessiveness and aggression to ensure the survival of their wild love life in the harsh environment of Mother Nature. And all those behavioral responses eventually got engraved in our genetic blueprint. So, these are not the enemies in the path of a healthy relationship, rather when utilized properly they can even kindle the spark in a dying relationship.”
― Abhijit Naskar, Love Sutra: The Neuroscientific Manual of Love