“Hey, I can cook."
"How do you know? You haven't eaten anything since before the Norman Conquest."
"I've never had any complaints."
"Given the infants you date, I'm not surprised. You could serve them sawdust and they'd eat it with a smile, dazzled by the swing of your broadsword."
"What do you know about the swing of my broadsword?"
"More than I care to. Women talk."
Which shut him up, as he started wondering who'd said what.”