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St. Nacho's
Cooper has spent the last three years running from a painful past. He's currently moving from town to town, working in restaurant kitchens, and playing his violin for tips. As soon as he starts to feel comfortable anywhere—with anyone—he moves on. He's aware that music may be the only human language he still knows. Ironically, the one man he's wanted to communicate with in all that time is deaf.
Shawn is part of a deaf theater group at the nearby college. Shawn wants Cooper as soon as they meet and he begins a determined flirtation. Cooper is comfortable with down and dirty sex, just not people. As far as Shawn is concerned, dirty sex is win-win, but he wants Cooper to let him into the rest of his life as well.
Cooper needs time to heal and put his past away for good. Shawn needs to help Cooper forgive himself and accept that he can be loved. Both men find out that when it comes to the kind of healing love can bring, the sleepy beachside town of Santo Ignacio, “St. Nacho's” as the locals call it, may just be the very best place to start.
Publisher's Note: This book contains explicit sexual content, graphic language, and situations that some readers may find objectionable: Anal play/intercourse, male/male sexual practices.
Shawn is part of a deaf theater group at the nearby college. Shawn wants Cooper as soon as they meet and he begins a determined flirtation. Cooper is comfortable with down and dirty sex, just not people. As far as Shawn is concerned, dirty sex is win-win, but he wants Cooper to let him into the rest of his life as well.
Cooper needs time to heal and put his past away for good. Shawn needs to help Cooper forgive himself and accept that he can be loved. Both men find out that when it comes to the kind of healing love can bring, the sleepy beachside town of Santo Ignacio, “St. Nacho's” as the locals call it, may just be the very best place to start.
Publisher's Note: This book contains explicit sexual content, graphic language, and situations that some readers may find objectionable: Anal play/intercourse, male/male sexual practices.
228 pages, ebook
First published December 1, 2008
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 487 reviews
July 16, 2015
When I have the word “deaf” plus the word “romance” plus the term “m/m”, it immediately catches my attention. But I usually end up disappointed when I read those books. Mostly because there are important flaws. Because the authors have a tendency to portray deaf people as normal people without the hearing and forget about the consequences of that lacking in their lives and their way of thinking.
Being deaf, above all from a short age, changes everything in your life. It changes the way that person thinks. Because the human being is the animal who talks. If you are deaf you can’t “talk” with other people. You can make signs, you can communicate with people who understand them. Maybe you can say things out loud and you can lipread. But it’s not the “talking” I’m talking about. The “talking” I’m talking about is saying things out loud and hearing things said out loud. Sound that travels from your mouth and sound that travels from the other person’s mouth.
Hearing is the most important sense for the brain development. If you are blind you can compensate with the other senses, and you can still communicate with other people. But that’s not the case of hearing. Loss of hearing is not something you can compensate with other senses. Seeing can cover something, but not all of it. When you “hear” certain areas in your brain work and develop and some connections are made. But if you don’t, you miss lots of those connections.
I don’t mean they are a different species or aliens or monsters, but if you interact with some of those who have never in their lives heard a thing you notice there is something you don’t find in other people. I can hardly explain it, it’s like seeing life in a different light. But don’t misunderstand me, I do believe learning sign language is not the solution for their isolation. But in this book the author managed to make it beautiful.
I don’t belong in that world, but sometimes my relatives wonder if some issues about my personality is due to that or if I’m just being myself. As a part-time visitor, it's only fair some of it has passed on me.
Anyway, now and then I found myself remembering this book.
Because, gods, it’s beautifully intangible. When I get this kind of intimate atmosphere I am swallowed and I wonder if I am ever going to breathe again. You know that funny feeling in your stomach and you discard nausea or pregnancy? Yeah, this is it. In two pages I was sold. I could be persuaded to believe anything.
I fell in love with Shawn. I fell in love with Cooper. I fell in love with their no-words communication. I have a weakness for that, for the ability to feel the MC connection. I’m not talking about chemistry, although that’s as important as it gets. I’m talking about a deeper connection.
And, gods, they did have it.
I was lost in their story before ever beginning it. I was lost in their conversations with glances. I was even lost in their chats via mobile phone. I only wanted to know MORE about them! The most important things, the stupidest of things, where did Cooper got the piercings, what bug made Shawn deaf, their shopping list, whatever!!!
I want to learn Shawn and Cooper's language.
But…
But then Jordan appears and it spoiled the whole book!!! I was so mad when he stayed half of the book! I don’t complain about a little drama, but I HATED it when the story revolved around him! It’s not him I want to know about!
I want the pierced and tortured Cooper. I want the (deceptively) gentle and sweet Shawn. I want their touches and their gazes, their kisses and their caresses. I want them!!!
It wasn’t long after that we fell asleep, despite the music filling the room from downstairs. He and I woke up at different times through the night, always finding each other, straining together, and bringing each other off. I got to know the feel of him, the weight of him, the strength and taste and smell. He held me tightly in his arms, and when he needed to, he just got up and dressed. By then I belonged to him; I was property, and somehow he knew it. He only looked back once for reassurance that we both understood that before he left.
I was SO SO SO mad when that beautiful thing changed into this other!
A reader is the one who stands as spectator of the show, but in this case I wanted to really participate, just to erase Jordan from the face of Earth. He’s a PAIN!!! In fact, it was PAINFUL to see my idyllic relationship shattered by that stupid guy. I have no idea why the author included him here, he should have been an abortion, because really, I don’t know why he deserved to be born. I hate him even more than most baddies. Please! Am I exaggerating? I won't tell you I'm not.
The plot about Cooper’s past was a failure. You are half of the book wondering what awful thing happened to him and then you spend the other half wondering “WTF?”. The events change sharply and I couldn’t recognize the same story, it’s like it had been written by two different people, that is how shocking it was to me.
Do I sound mad? I am! Do you think I'm going berserker? You are right! It is as if I'm there saying "Oh yes, oh yes, oh yes, oh yesssssss... ein?". Seriously anticlimatic. You wouldn't believe me if I told you this is one of those times that a book really makes me angry. Or do you? Anyway, I'm team Kill Jordan forever.
And then I realized that Jordan has his very own book in the series. Who is going to read it? Definitely, not me. So, if you want my opinion, read this book but tear out Jordan’s pages. That would be about half the book left but it’s less of a waste. Believe me.
October 5, 2019
I feel very differently about each part of this book. I liked the beginning although it started a bit slow and I wasn't really invested in Cooper's relationship with Shawn. But just when I started to really like them together, Cooper goes back home to Jordie and things went downhill for me. I didn't like Jordie at all. I found him very selfish. And Pastor Stan drove me nuts. He gave me a bad vibe. I hated how he preached to Coop, like he wasn't worth anything because he didn't follow the church. I did like that Cooper reconnected with his sister. The last quarter of the book picked up and things got interesting. I liked the way everything was resolved and am happy with the ending. This book was much deeper than I expected it to be and had a pretty somber tone to it. I liked how it addressed a topic you don't see very often.
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October 11, 2018Ughhhhhhhhh, ya empieza mal todo con el título, St. Nacho, Nacho es Ignacio, español, con el saint... ughhhhhh. Sigue peor cuando veo que el lugar donde todo ocurre se llama Santo Ignacio, en lugar de San Ignacio... ughhhhhhhh. Y ya remata cuando conozco a los protagonistas y veo un insta love poco creíble y una forma de narrar un tanto rara.
DNF en el 20%, bah.
DNF en el 20%, bah.
September 29, 2013
I see all the reviews about this book and everyone going on an on about how much they love Shawn. Yeah, Shawn is wonderful. He’s kind and giving and persistent and has the patience of a saint. But Cooper? Cooper is amazing! He thinks he’s broken but he’s really not. Yes, he still has some healing to do but he is far stronger than he realizes. He’s not weak at all. What he is, is guilt ridden. He feels responsible for what happened in the past with the accident but he does not let it drag him down too far before he stands up for himself. He doesn’t let anyone push him around and will say how he feels in an honest and kind manner. He made a snap decision that I wasn’t fond of but after reading more, I think he really needed, if only to help him come to the realization that he is actually worth something, not only to others but to himself.
Shawn is Cooper’s rock. His salvation. He gets Cooper like no one else does.
“Leave it to someone who had never heard me speak to understand me so clearly.”
Cooper keeps referring to Shawn’s appearance as a “train wreck” and that couldn’t be more true, but that is one train that needed to be derailed. There needs to be more people in the world like Shawn.
I have to say that I enjoyed reading this book immensely. It was a slower pace than I am used to and that in itself was a breath of fresh air. It was a simple delight and a great way to spend a Sunday morning. I will be reading the rest of this series soon, starting today!
Shawn is Cooper’s rock. His salvation. He gets Cooper like no one else does.
“Leave it to someone who had never heard me speak to understand me so clearly.”
Cooper keeps referring to Shawn’s appearance as a “train wreck” and that couldn’t be more true, but that is one train that needed to be derailed. There needs to be more people in the world like Shawn.
I have to say that I enjoyed reading this book immensely. It was a slower pace than I am used to and that in itself was a breath of fresh air. It was a simple delight and a great way to spend a Sunday morning. I will be reading the rest of this series soon, starting today!
April 10, 2010
What I loved about this book was how it wasn't what I expected. I adored both Shawn and Conner as characters, and I loved their interactions. I loved that Shawn was deaf but that he was the stronger character, the more self-assured and self-possessed. I loved the way he pursued Conner but also how patient he was with him. I loved how Conner was so completely broken without being angsty or whiny. I felt his struggles were very real but also accessible; his root situations weren't ones all of us can relate to, but Maxfield invited us in to experience them, and it worked.
The setting shift was clunky for me. It recovered well, but for about twenty pages I was worried the wheel had come off. But once Shawn reappeared, all was well.
I recommend the book for the characters, the emotions, and the story as easy a cool drink on a hot day, despite the conflict of the characters. And for the first person narrative, which I mention because I'm horribly averse to first person as a general rule, so when *I* like it, you know it's done well enough to convert the unwilling.
The setting shift was clunky for me. It recovered well, but for about twenty pages I was worried the wheel had come off. But once Shawn reappeared, all was well.
I recommend the book for the characters, the emotions, and the story as easy a cool drink on a hot day, despite the conflict of the characters. And for the first person narrative, which I mention because I'm horribly averse to first person as a general rule, so when *I* like it, you know it's done well enough to convert the unwilling.
February 1, 2015
Wow. This book came totally out of left field. Tried starting a few books and none of them gripped me (I'm a very moody reader). For some reason this author came to mind. Looked her up, looked through her back list, saw this one, read the blurb, bought the book, and ended up loving it. It's a beautiful story of healing and forgiveness.
What I loved:
*Shawn. From the moment he is introduced- I loved him. Loved that he was patient and caring but had this other "dirty" side to him ;)
*Cooper. Loved the way the author developed his character.
*Secondary characters.
*Steam. There wasn't tooooo much but the ones it had were pretty hot.
*Emotionally satisfying.
*I think this is probably one of the few times that 1st person POV worked for me. I am all about a dual POV but I don't think it would've worked here.
*Loved the way Cooper and Shawn communicated with each other.
What I didn't love:
*I wish some of their backgrounds were explained a bit more.
Highly recommend this one and I've got the next on deck ready to be read. 4-4.5 Stars.
January 5, 2017
2.5 stars
I have read several of ZAM's recent stories but I never read this one. Since it was offered FREE at Amazon (per 3rd January 2017) and I won the second book on a giveaway, I thought I gave it a try. Well... maybe if I read this 7-8 years ago it would be a different reaction. Turned out, now, for me this was a disappointing read.
+ I found Cooper as the main character to be unappealing. Just didn't feel for his self-guilt slash angst attitude
+ I found Shawn, as the love interest, might be interesting... unfortunately, his disability felt on the surface only, and his character wasn't fully explored. I felt like I knew NOTHING about him. It didn't help that about halfway, the book suddenly switched focus to Cooper and his long-time best friend, Jordan.
+ Jordan ... yeah, he was also not interesting. He was whiny, needy, and I guess I didn't have patience for these kind of characters (who seek penance with sex or BDSM) ... Which probably means that I wouldn't read the 2nd book after all, since it was Jordan's
+ Creepy Pastor Stan is CREEPY (and how stereotypical)
+ And the sex scenes. MAN, those felt mechanical. How I dislike gratuitous sex scenes for the sake of 'moving the story along' ... and since I neither care for these characters, those sex scenes became highly annoying.
The only 'savior' of this story for me were the St. Nacho's guys. I liked them enough: Jim, Alfred, Oscar, Thomas ...
I have read several of ZAM's recent stories but I never read this one. Since it was offered FREE at Amazon (per 3rd January 2017) and I won the second book on a giveaway, I thought I gave it a try. Well... maybe if I read this 7-8 years ago it would be a different reaction. Turned out, now, for me this was a disappointing read.
+ I found Cooper as the main character to be unappealing. Just didn't feel for his self-guilt slash angst attitude
+ I found Shawn, as the love interest, might be interesting... unfortunately, his disability felt on the surface only, and his character wasn't fully explored. I felt like I knew NOTHING about him. It didn't help that about halfway, the book suddenly switched focus to Cooper and his long-time best friend, Jordan.
+ Jordan ... yeah, he was also not interesting. He was whiny, needy, and I guess I didn't have patience for these kind of characters (who seek penance with sex or BDSM) ... Which probably means that I wouldn't read the 2nd book after all, since it was Jordan's
+ Creepy Pastor Stan is CREEPY (and how stereotypical)
+ And the sex scenes. MAN, those felt mechanical. How I dislike gratuitous sex scenes for the sake of 'moving the story along' ... and since I neither care for these characters, those sex scenes became highly annoying.
The only 'savior' of this story for me were the St. Nacho's guys. I liked them enough: Jim, Alfred, Oscar, Thomas ...
October 3, 2013
Any talk of angst generally turns me off a book, but after reading all the positive reviews, I decided to give St. Nacho's a try. I'm glad I did. This sweet love story had its share of sad parts, but I wasn't overwhelmed by it and I didn't feel manipulated by the author.
The MCs were very likeable, with distinct personalities. My first impression of Cooper was of a somewhat cocky loner, but he actually turned out to be more self conscious and bashful. He was a little scared of developing close relationships with people, but he was also hopeful that he could. Shawn, on the other hand, was more self-assured, and he wasn't afraid to take charge and get down and dirty. He was perceptive, and so sweet, but he also got impatient when he didn't agree with something. He didn't take crap from anyone, and I loved that. I also loved how Cooper and Shawn each had an impish sense of humor that kept me grinning.
Most of the sex scenes were brief and almost... mechanical?... in their description. Yet they totally got me steamed up. How does Maxfield DO that? I wish there had been longer on-page scenes, though, and I also wish they'd explored more of Cooper's submissive side.
I was upset at how Cooper handled the whole Jordan situation, but based on their past friendship and Cooper's intense feelings of guilt, it made sense. I'm glad he didn't put up with the crap for too long, though. I did like seeing how strong Cooper's love for Jordan was, and how determined he was to help his friend. Jordan was such a mess, and my heart broke for him when he finally faced everything. I'm looking forward to his story.
Side note:
Cooper's sister Julie was great, but the absence of parents for Cooper and Jordan was weird.
I want to live in Santo Ignacio.
The MCs were very likeable, with distinct personalities. My first impression of Cooper was of a somewhat cocky loner, but he actually turned out to be more self conscious and bashful. He was a little scared of developing close relationships with people, but he was also hopeful that he could. Shawn, on the other hand, was more self-assured, and he wasn't afraid to take charge and get down and dirty. He was perceptive, and so sweet, but he also got impatient when he didn't agree with something. He didn't take crap from anyone, and I loved that. I also loved how Cooper and Shawn each had an impish sense of humor that kept me grinning.
Most of the sex scenes were brief and almost... mechanical?... in their description. Yet they totally got me steamed up. How does Maxfield DO that? I wish there had been longer on-page scenes, though, and I also wish they'd explored more of Cooper's submissive side.
I was upset at how Cooper handled the whole Jordan situation, but based on their past friendship and Cooper's intense feelings of guilt, it made sense. I'm glad he didn't put up with the crap for too long, though. I did like seeing how strong Cooper's love for Jordan was, and how determined he was to help his friend. Jordan was such a mess, and my heart broke for him when he finally faced everything. I'm looking forward to his story.
Side note:
Cooper's sister Julie was great, but the absence of parents for Cooper and Jordan was weird.
I want to live in Santo Ignacio.
October 8, 2011
Cooper and Shawn were dreamy, my heart fluttered when they first met on the patio it was that first glance at Shawn's hand, beautiful. The interaction between them while Cooper plays the violin is exquisite, all those little glances and touches are so tender and romantic. Then the "kiss" when Cooper rides off, so bittersweet I cried. Jordan, I wanted to shake, hug and kiss him better, such an emotional wreck. All that desperation and self destruction was painful and so sad, I wish he'd never met that weirdo Stan who did more harm than good, I disliked him intensely. Can't wait to read the next chapter in Jordan's life. I really liked this a lot.
December 28, 2013
Great first read for me from Z.A. Maxfield. I really loved Shawn and Cooper together. Shawn being deaf added an interesting layer to the story, especially how hard Cooper worked to learn to communicate with him. I also really liked how Shawn enjoyed feeling the vibrations of Cooper's violin when he played it. Those scenes were just beautiful.
I was a little thrown off when halfway through the book Cooper's best friend and ex-lover Jordan suddenly appeared. It stole a lot of attention from the original story as Cooper tried to help Jordan overcome his guilt from a terrible tragedy.
Overall, though, I really enjoyed it and I'm looking forward to reading the next book in the series.
I was a little thrown off when halfway through the book Cooper's best friend and ex-lover Jordan suddenly appeared. It stole a lot of attention from the original story as Cooper tried to help Jordan overcome his guilt from a terrible tragedy.
Overall, though, I really enjoyed it and I'm looking forward to reading the next book in the series.
November 19, 2014
What a touching story!! I am in love with Shawn and Cooper. Shawn is deaf, but has the sweetest demeanor and a smile that lights up the room. I love that he’s not as innocent as he looks!
And Cooper who’s carrying around so much guilt and regret over his past. I think he still has some healing to do, but it seems like he’s beginning to realize he’s not responsible for his best friend Jordan’s actions.
St. Nacho’s sounds like a wonderful place. I think I’d like to go visit :) Moving on to book #2!
And Cooper who’s carrying around so much guilt and regret over his past. I think he still has some healing to do, but it seems like he’s beginning to realize he’s not responsible for his best friend Jordan’s actions.
St. Nacho’s sounds like a wonderful place. I think I’d like to go visit :) Moving on to book #2!
March 24, 2017
Read this yeas ago, up to the halfway point I loved it and as a compulsive re-reader was wondering why the story hadn't stayed with me longer. But at around the halfway point the story wanders down a different track, it feels as though Maxfield forgot who the love interest was and was starting the groundwork for the sequel.
The first half of the book is a story of Cooper finding his place and settling long enough to belong. His love interest is Shawn is deaf yet not written as a weak character as so often happens. Shawn is strong, a man who knows his mind but who due to different abilities is different in his approach to the world. A great character although we don't learn much about him as regards his family...
Because the second half of the book is Cooper returning to help his friend Jordan. I'm torn between sympathy for the utter train-wreck that is Jordan at this point in the story and wanting to get back to St.Nacho's and the supposed main characters. That part of Cooper's life needed to be faced but the change of focus was too much it lessened the eventual reunion with Shawn.
Did find myself querying the big secret. The horrible crime they committed that caused so much trauma and guilt. When revealed it seemed trivial in terms of the build-up, though the result was devastating, it seemed more of a horrible accident than anything else.
St.Nacho's is a great bunch of characters that drew me to read more of the series way back when. There's plenty here to appeal though I'd probably rate this 3* now. Great potential but swayed that bit off track.
The first half of the book is a story of Cooper finding his place and settling long enough to belong. His love interest is Shawn is deaf yet not written as a weak character as so often happens. Shawn is strong, a man who knows his mind but who due to different abilities is different in his approach to the world. A great character although we don't learn much about him as regards his family...
Because the second half of the book is Cooper returning to help his friend Jordan. I'm torn between sympathy for the utter train-wreck that is Jordan at this point in the story and wanting to get back to St.Nacho's and the supposed main characters. That part of Cooper's life needed to be faced but the change of focus was too much it lessened the eventual reunion with Shawn.
Did find myself querying the big secret. The horrible crime they committed that caused so much trauma and guilt. When revealed it seemed trivial in terms of the build-up, though the result was devastating, it seemed more of a horrible accident than anything else.
St.Nacho's is a great bunch of characters that drew me to read more of the series way back when. There's plenty here to appeal though I'd probably rate this 3* now. Great potential but swayed that bit off track.
June 7, 2013
Just a beautiful story. About being a stupid kid making stupid choices, and about how to learn to move past all that and learn to love. What I loved was that Cooper cared enough to try to make it easier for Shawn. And that he wanted to learn for him to be with him and that he finally opened himself to all things Shawn. :) Yes I loved Shawn the man who wouldn't give up. I was disturbed by the shift mid book and how it started to consume the 1st half of the books story but then it all came together and showed the entire story. I will definitely continue this series. And hope I see glimpses of Cooper and Shawn in there. Thank you Natasha for this BR with me.
A little Shawn and Cooper in the shower.
A little Shawn and Cooper in the shower.
March 15, 2009
This is a good story and the fact that it is written in the first person did not bother me.
The characters are touching: i really liked Cooper and the way he's discovering himself trough the eyes of Shawn.
And that's all.
*spoilers*
What bothered me:
Shawn is a mystery and this fact won't change(I'd have liked to know more about his life...)
This story would have been better if the character of Jordan (Cooper's ex) did not steal the show in the second part of the book.
There is really 2 stories in this book: the romance part between Shawn and Cooper that is left unfinished AND "Jordan".
Grrrrr!!
The characters are touching: i really liked Cooper and the way he's discovering himself trough the eyes of Shawn.
And that's all.
*spoilers*
What bothered me:
Shawn is a mystery and this fact won't change(I'd have liked to know more about his life...)
This story would have been better if the character of Jordan (Cooper's ex) did not steal the show in the second part of the book.
There is really 2 stories in this book: the romance part between Shawn and Cooper that is left unfinished AND "Jordan".
Grrrrr!!
February 13, 2013
This book annoyed the ever-loving sh*t out of me and I almost DNF-ed twice or three times.
It is the Jackson Pollock of emo-porn.
The characters are as flat as the artist's canvas and the pluralistic plot lines and varying prose styles are a similarly terribly disordered mess.
It is the Jackson Pollock of emo-porn.
The characters are as flat as the artist's canvas and the pluralistic plot lines and varying prose styles are a similarly terribly disordered mess.
September 24, 2012
Cooper is a man whose life weighs heavily on his shoulders, he's on the road and stops for what he thinks is his usual three days in a small California town. He finds a job, meets a man and settles in more than he ever expected to and decides to extended those three days against his better judgement and see what happens. Oh the angst here, Cooper is just rolling in it and it's killer. Thankfully, there's an underlying sweetness to the story as he slowly learns to forgive himself and comes to accept that he deserves to be happy and find love with Shawn.
I really enjoyed the Cooper/Shawn dynamtic and the layer that Shawn's deafness brought to his relationship with Cooper and how it compelled Cooper to view his life from a different angle when seen through that altered perspective.
Things are merrily rolling along a rather bumpy road when we cue the phone call that changes everything. Cooper pulls out of town, leaving behind everything he's coming to appreciate and love and heads home to a bad, bad situation.
It was incredibly upsetting to me this decision that Cooper made to leave and support his friend, very upsetting. After being so happy with Shawn in California it was just so hard to see him try to make things work back home. That situation with Jordan was just so screwed up and sad, almost more angst here than what I could handle.
I loved how things turned out at the end.
This was a wonderfully angsty book and one that's deeply and sweetly romantic. I really enjoyed it and I'll be checking out the others in the series.
I really enjoyed the Cooper/Shawn dynamtic and the layer that Shawn's deafness brought to his relationship with Cooper and how it compelled Cooper to view his life from a different angle when seen through that altered perspective.
Things are merrily rolling along a rather bumpy road when we cue the phone call that changes everything. Cooper pulls out of town, leaving behind everything he's coming to appreciate and love and heads home to a bad, bad situation.
It was incredibly upsetting to me this decision that Cooper made to leave and support his friend, very upsetting. After being so happy with Shawn in California it was just so hard to see him try to make things work back home. That situation with Jordan was just so screwed up and sad, almost more angst here than what I could handle.
I loved how things turned out at the end.
This was a wonderfully angsty book and one that's deeply and sweetly romantic. I really enjoyed it and I'll be checking out the others in the series.
October 7, 2013
This one packs a wallop.
Cooper is damaged, a bunch of it self-inflicted, and definitely more than dented. How does one get beyond past events, find a place in the now when we carry it around like an albatross? Cooper carries a lot and he's been running for a long time until he finds a place where he can finally stop.
Santo Ignacio is the Brigadoon for gays. It's an idyllic place where happiness is possible until the outer world crashes back into it. A place of second chances and letting go for Cooper.
Cooper takes a call and answers a request, sacrificing his newfound peace to assuage his guilt--and this is where I have a big issue. I get people take on guilt that isn't there own, but it drives me NUTS. Sometimes you can't go back. It doesn't matter about good intentions, sometimes the only answer is a fresh start. Both Cooper and Jordan come to realize this, but it is a painful process.
In the end, you can never really go back--you can only keep going forwards and when you're lucky you can interweave the best of the past with now. This was an emotional read, some of it was really tough especially issues surrounding Jordan. I also find proselytizing a huge turn off and Pastor Stan made me want to strangle him which to be fair wasn't the appropriate response for the man truly believed and meant well, but the I disagree with the methods. So my personal peccadillos probably deleted a merited star, but hey, it's my opinion.
Favorite quotes:
Cooper is damaged, a bunch of it self-inflicted, and definitely more than dented. How does one get beyond past events, find a place in the now when we carry it around like an albatross? Cooper carries a lot and he's been running for a long time until he finds a place where he can finally stop.
Santo Ignacio is the Brigadoon for gays. It's an idyllic place where happiness is possible until the outer world crashes back into it. A place of second chances and letting go for Cooper.
Cooper takes a call and answers a request, sacrificing his newfound peace to assuage his guilt--and this is where I have a big issue. I get people take on guilt that isn't there own, but it drives me NUTS. Sometimes you can't go back. It doesn't matter about good intentions, sometimes the only answer is a fresh start. Both Cooper and Jordan come to realize this, but it is a painful process.
In the end, you can never really go back--you can only keep going forwards and when you're lucky you can interweave the best of the past with now. This was an emotional read, some of it was really tough especially issues surrounding Jordan. I also find proselytizing a huge turn off and Pastor Stan made me want to strangle him which to be fair wasn't the appropriate response for the man truly believed and meant well, but the I disagree with the methods. So my personal peccadillos probably deleted a merited star, but hey, it's my opinion.
Favorite quotes:
"I tried to return his smile, but couldn’t find one that wasn’t so used it was completely unworthy."
"I was covered in a kind of social rust, made worse by my age and his expectations."
"I loved him. I’d always loved him. But I would never again be in love with him."
June 7, 2013
This book was a buddy read I did with Sandra, and we loved it! This review will be pretty spoiler-free.
This book was so awesome, and I'd like to say I'm rating it 4.5/5.. and the only reason it's not a 5 is being I'm a huge perv and wanted maybe another explicit sex scene or two.
I think this was one of those story's that really pulled at my heart strings, which made it hard for me to put the book down. It was a beautiful story about Cooper, an emotionally distraught drifter finding his place in the world and finding someone worth being with. Shawn is an angel-faced "nasty boy" who steals Shawn's heart from the beginning. Their affection for each other is put through trials and tests that will probably break your heart a little bit. Cooper is a talented violin player, and Shawn is a younger deaf boy, seeming with the wisdom and patience of someone three times his age. Together, they form a beautiful bond and a different kind of language that works just for them.
This book was so awesome, and I'd like to say I'm rating it 4.5/5.. and the only reason it's not a 5 is being I'm a huge perv and wanted maybe another explicit sex scene or two.
I think this was one of those story's that really pulled at my heart strings, which made it hard for me to put the book down. It was a beautiful story about Cooper, an emotionally distraught drifter finding his place in the world and finding someone worth being with. Shawn is an angel-faced "nasty boy" who steals Shawn's heart from the beginning. Their affection for each other is put through trials and tests that will probably break your heart a little bit. Cooper is a talented violin player, and Shawn is a younger deaf boy, seeming with the wisdom and patience of someone three times his age. Together, they form a beautiful bond and a different kind of language that works just for them.
June 28, 2013
Cooper is a violinist with a painful past. He speaks to the world only through his music. Shawn is part of a deaf theater group at the nearby college and wants Cooper as soon as they meet. Cooper needs time to heal and put his past away for good. Shawn wants to help Cooper forgive himself and accept that he can be loved...
I had trouble getting into the story and feel the chemistry between the MCs. The writing style required getting used to. I don't have problems with stories written in the first person, that didn't bother me at all... but the style was kind of clipped and sometimes a little monotonous.
I'm not sure if I'll continue reading the series.
January 9, 2009
I liked this book, but I think it would have been better if it hadn't been written in first person. I wanted to know what was going on in Shawn's mind too. Shawn fasinated me. There is still so much that was unanswered about him. That drives me crazy!
3 to 3.5 stars
3 to 3.5 stars
September 27, 2014
Ok I loved this! Macky girl has been bugging me to read this, so now that I have, i will be reading the rest of the series! Cooper and Shawn are wonderful together. And i really loved that the one with the physical disability was the "stronger" of the two.
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February 1, 2017
I didn't know what to expect when I started this book and I must say I was pleasantly surprised. This is a book about forgiveness and moving forward- both Coop & Shawn carried their own burdens with Coop unable to forgive himself for the death of a child by his once addict partner and Shawn who was hampered by deafness but never allowed any day to bring him down. Shawn became the rock for Coop and even though Coop left for a while to support his recovering best friend, Shawn found a way back in. I really disliked Jordan and Stan and they way they emotionally abused Coop however I'm happy that all people found their peace in the end
October 3, 2015
I am on such a roll lately. I have hit great book after great book and this one is even better than that. It's going on my favorites shelf. This is a sweet romance about a messed up guy and the man who shows him how to open his heart.
The way these two learn how to communicate and share their worlds is breathtaking. It is completely believable that a musician and a deaf man connect on a such a deep level. Shawn is not at all what I expected and he is SO much better for it. He's Mr. Perfect. He's so patient and serene. He's at peace with himself. He's such a great contrast to Cooper, who's at war inside.
Cooper is also a sweet, beautiful man, and it takes him the whole book to see it. But the angst isn't angsty. It's very real and believable, and it's not at all surprising that he would feel and act the way he does based on what happened only a few years ago. I spent much of the book thinking,
The guys in St. Ignacious are really great and quite amusing. Maybe a little too perfect, but that's okay. It's what Cooper needed. The situation was more believable than another book I read recently where someone was given a free room above a bar in exchange for kitchen help. I'm not exactly sure why, but this one seemed possible to me.
I loved that it isn't the kind of, "I'll die without you," kind of book, either, and yet their love is intense and beautiful. I also loved the ending, although there's one piece that some might feel is too convenient:
My favorite part/quote was a little more than 2/3rds of the way through (medium spoiler):
This is a story about redemption and love and forgiveness and it was done beautifully.
The way these two learn how to communicate and share their worlds is breathtaking. It is completely believable that a musician and a deaf man connect on a such a deep level. Shawn is not at all what I expected and he is SO much better for it. He's Mr. Perfect. He's so patient and serene. He's at peace with himself. He's such a great contrast to Cooper, who's at war inside.
Cooper is also a sweet, beautiful man, and it takes him the whole book to see it. But the angst isn't angsty. It's very real and believable, and it's not at all surprising that he would feel and act the way he does based on what happened only a few years ago. I spent much of the book thinking,
The guys in St. Ignacious are really great and quite amusing. Maybe a little too perfect, but that's okay. It's what Cooper needed. The situation was more believable than another book I read recently where someone was given a free room above a bar in exchange for kitchen help. I'm not exactly sure why, but this one seemed possible to me.
I loved that it isn't the kind of, "I'll die without you," kind of book, either, and yet their love is intense and beautiful. I also loved the ending, although there's one piece that some might feel is too convenient:
My favorite part/quote was a little more than 2/3rds of the way through (medium spoiler):
This is a story about redemption and love and forgiveness and it was done beautifully.
October 6, 2013
This review was posted @ www.facebook.com/slitsread
HMMMM THIS BOOK IS GOING INTO MY TOP 5 READS OF 2013
WHY?
CAUSE IT BROUGHT OUT SO MUCH EMOTION IN ME, IT MADE ME THINK OF MY 1ST LOVE, IT HIT HOME HARD...I THINK I HIGHLIGHTED.EVERY.PAGE.OF.THIS.BOOK
HAVE YOU EVER LOVED SOMEONE WHO WAS BROKEN? WHO WAS DEVASTATED BY A SERIES OF EVENTS THAT COULD NOT HAVE BEEN IF YOU JUST CHOSE PATH B INSTEAD OF A??
ITS HARD.... A HARD RIDE FOR BOTH PARTIES, UNFAIR MOST TIMES, ANGERED ALL THE TIME AND JUST....JUST... JUST FUCKED!
"Baby, please come back
It wasn't you, baby it was me
Maybe our relationship isn't as crazy as it seems
Maybe that's what happens when a tornado meets a volcano
All I know is I love you too much to walk away though"
EMINEM
BUT YOU CONTINUE TO LOVE BECAUSE UNDER ALL THAT BROKEN F'D UP PORTION THERE IS A HEART OF GOLD WAITING TO BE FOUND... BUT NOT BY YOU, CAUSE HE ISN'T YOUR DESTINY...YOUR DESTINY IS SOMEWHERE WAITING FOR YOU TO GRAB HOLD... AND IN ORDER TO SAVE YOURSELF, YOU LEAVE... CAUSE YOU HAVE TO... CAUSE HE WAS NEVER YOUR FOREVER IN THE 1ST PLACE....
WHEN YOU RUN FROM YOUR PAST, HOPING TO FORGET. BUT THAT BITCH CALLED MEMORY DOESN'T LET YOU? WHEN YOU TRY TO MOVE ON BUT YOU'RE SCARED AND LONELY AND NEED... AND THEN BAM... DESTINY SUCKER PUNCHES YOU RIGHT IN YOUR FACE
WHEN YOU MEET HIM, AND YOU KNOW... YOU JUST KNOW.... THIS WAS YOUR PATH... YOU ARE FINALLY ON THE RIGHT ONE!
BUT THEN HE CALLS.... AND YOU GO... CAUSE YOU LOVE HIM, YOU WILL ALWAYS LOVE HIM, BUT YOU'RE JUST NOT IN LOVE WITH HIM.... BUT IT TAKES THIS, THIS MOMENT OF INSANITY TO GIVE YOU YOUR CLARITY..
YOU FOUND YOUR HAPPY EVER AFTER AND YOU JUST PRAY THAT HE DOES TOO...
THAT'S WHAT THIS BOOK WAS FOR ME, TO ME
ONE OF THE MOST AMAZING READS I HAVE READ BY FAR THIS YEAR
PS... I hope you find what you're looking for Miller, I will always love you
MARE~SLITSREAD
HMMMM THIS BOOK IS GOING INTO MY TOP 5 READS OF 2013
WHY?
CAUSE IT BROUGHT OUT SO MUCH EMOTION IN ME, IT MADE ME THINK OF MY 1ST LOVE, IT HIT HOME HARD...I THINK I HIGHLIGHTED.EVERY.PAGE.OF.THIS.BOOK
HAVE YOU EVER LOVED SOMEONE WHO WAS BROKEN? WHO WAS DEVASTATED BY A SERIES OF EVENTS THAT COULD NOT HAVE BEEN IF YOU JUST CHOSE PATH B INSTEAD OF A??
ITS HARD.... A HARD RIDE FOR BOTH PARTIES, UNFAIR MOST TIMES, ANGERED ALL THE TIME AND JUST....JUST... JUST FUCKED!
"Baby, please come back
It wasn't you, baby it was me
Maybe our relationship isn't as crazy as it seems
Maybe that's what happens when a tornado meets a volcano
All I know is I love you too much to walk away though"
EMINEM
BUT YOU CONTINUE TO LOVE BECAUSE UNDER ALL THAT BROKEN F'D UP PORTION THERE IS A HEART OF GOLD WAITING TO BE FOUND... BUT NOT BY YOU, CAUSE HE ISN'T YOUR DESTINY...YOUR DESTINY IS SOMEWHERE WAITING FOR YOU TO GRAB HOLD... AND IN ORDER TO SAVE YOURSELF, YOU LEAVE... CAUSE YOU HAVE TO... CAUSE HE WAS NEVER YOUR FOREVER IN THE 1ST PLACE....
WHEN YOU RUN FROM YOUR PAST, HOPING TO FORGET. BUT THAT BITCH CALLED MEMORY DOESN'T LET YOU? WHEN YOU TRY TO MOVE ON BUT YOU'RE SCARED AND LONELY AND NEED... AND THEN BAM... DESTINY SUCKER PUNCHES YOU RIGHT IN YOUR FACE
WHEN YOU MEET HIM, AND YOU KNOW... YOU JUST KNOW.... THIS WAS YOUR PATH... YOU ARE FINALLY ON THE RIGHT ONE!
BUT THEN HE CALLS.... AND YOU GO... CAUSE YOU LOVE HIM, YOU WILL ALWAYS LOVE HIM, BUT YOU'RE JUST NOT IN LOVE WITH HIM.... BUT IT TAKES THIS, THIS MOMENT OF INSANITY TO GIVE YOU YOUR CLARITY..
YOU FOUND YOUR HAPPY EVER AFTER AND YOU JUST PRAY THAT HE DOES TOO...
THAT'S WHAT THIS BOOK WAS FOR ME, TO ME
ONE OF THE MOST AMAZING READS I HAVE READ BY FAR THIS YEAR
PS... I hope you find what you're looking for Miller, I will always love you
MARE~SLITSREAD
January 21, 2012
Oooh, lovely. Angsty, guilt-ridden deliciousness. Great characterisations, with an internal dialogue from the MC that is articulate and addictive. I want to be a boy who works at St Nacho's.
May 23, 2017
I forgot I was reading it until I saw it in my "currently-reading" list (two items long). So I picked it up again. But wait, wasn't it about a deaf guy called Shawn? Not that he was terribly memorable. And now there's this Jordie and he's a mess... what's going on? Oh, I see. Sorry, I didn't like neither first nor second half this book was stitched of. Shawn felt boring, and Jordie felt like... a beggar who grabs your hand and loudly demands your sympathy. And I was particularly not fond of the main character's "voice". There was no moment it felt natural for me, it always grated. But I understand why this book can be liked very much. I just think Z.A.Maxfield is not the right author for me; it's the second book of hers I read and both were a miss for me.
November 16, 2010
It would have been 5 stars if, at one point, Cooper's past lover (Jordan) hadn't stolen all the attention away from Cooper and Shawn. It would have been 4 stars, if that hadn't been a smart way to make me understand how important Shawn's positivity was for Cooper.
A few years before while they were drunk, Cooper, the narrator, and Jordan, his best friend and lover, had caused a car accident, where a little kid was killed. It was Jordan who was driving, after Cooper gave him the keys, so it was Jordan who went to prison, and in the meantime Cooper, after rehab, traveled the country, running away from the guilt. But it's like the sun goes down when Cooper, after having found a new life and love - with Shawn - in St. Nacho, decides to do the right thing and goes back to help his best friend Jordan, who's just come out of prison. Sometimes people decide to do what is good for their conscience but not what is good for themselves. It was so frustrating!
The author does a great job in describing the positive effect a place can have when you need to heal your scars: you could feel the air, the sea, the salt, the sun of the town. When Shawn is introduced, you feel like you want to be one of his friends. Shawn is deaf and Cooper's (wasted) talent is in his violin, but the two are so well suited that they overcome every obstacle, because they don't need to be verbal to communicate with each other.
The narrator is Cooper, so we never know what Shawn is thinking (and I wanted to know, I wanted to know everything about him). Shawn is an angel, always understanding, never judging, pushing Cooper to do what's right, but he knows where he stands, he fights for what he wants, and he never prevaricates.
He is in total contrast to Stan, the pastor who's trying to help Jordan rebuild his life. Maybe I'm a bit prejudiced against those who exhibit a religious fervor, but it was like the pastor was trying to save Jordan to make a point, not because he was really interested. He was like a black hole, sucking away the energy, while Shawn was radiating warmth.
The sense of guilt of Cooper and Jordan is a heavy weight and it makes for a difficult read, if you feel the angst like me, but you have hope, because you know that Shawn is somewhere between the lines, even if he's just in Cooper's thoughts, and he might save you.
It's a beautiful book. Jordan is going to be the protagonist of the sequel and I hope that Shawn will steal away his time. I want a Shawn-filled book!
A few years before while they were drunk, Cooper, the narrator, and Jordan, his best friend and lover, had caused a car accident, where a little kid was killed. It was Jordan who was driving, after Cooper gave him the keys, so it was Jordan who went to prison, and in the meantime Cooper, after rehab, traveled the country, running away from the guilt. But it's like the sun goes down when Cooper, after having found a new life and love - with Shawn - in St. Nacho, decides to do the right thing and goes back to help his best friend Jordan, who's just come out of prison. Sometimes people decide to do what is good for their conscience but not what is good for themselves. It was so frustrating!
The author does a great job in describing the positive effect a place can have when you need to heal your scars: you could feel the air, the sea, the salt, the sun of the town. When Shawn is introduced, you feel like you want to be one of his friends. Shawn is deaf and Cooper's (wasted) talent is in his violin, but the two are so well suited that they overcome every obstacle, because they don't need to be verbal to communicate with each other.
The narrator is Cooper, so we never know what Shawn is thinking (and I wanted to know, I wanted to know everything about him). Shawn is an angel, always understanding, never judging, pushing Cooper to do what's right, but he knows where he stands, he fights for what he wants, and he never prevaricates.
He is in total contrast to Stan, the pastor who's trying to help Jordan rebuild his life. Maybe I'm a bit prejudiced against those who exhibit a religious fervor, but it was like the pastor was trying to save Jordan to make a point, not because he was really interested. He was like a black hole, sucking away the energy, while Shawn was radiating warmth.
The sense of guilt of Cooper and Jordan is a heavy weight and it makes for a difficult read, if you feel the angst like me, but you have hope, because you know that Shawn is somewhere between the lines, even if he's just in Cooper's thoughts, and he might save you.
It's a beautiful book. Jordan is going to be the protagonist of the sequel and I hope that Shawn will steal away his time. I want a Shawn-filled book!
March 19, 2014
Wow. First of all, I think I'm in love with Shawn. There, I said it--confession and the soul and all that. Also, I want to visit ST Ignacio, like yesterday. Seriously, we're hitting the end of summer break here and I think my sanity might depend on it.
I had my doubts about the blurb, which is actually a pretty common problem I have with Maxfield, which just shows the challenges she gives herself in creating these stories. Messed up guys with tragic pasts are not exactly uncommon in M/M contemporary, and having one of the heroes be deaf steered awfully close to afterschool special territory. So sue me, I was an idiot. This is Maxfield--she's just like her heroes, fearlessly standing up to these crazy, risky plot set-ups, and totally coming through for her readers.
I swear I really did think I was going to lose it reading this one, and that is not something that happens to me often. Cooper's story was just that heartbreaking. Though you only learn about what brought him to Nacho's retrospectively, just the idea of someone that gifted flushing his potential down the toilet hurts--hurts like you're watching it happen to someone important to you. And then of course, you see the healing happen, and it just reaffirms your faith.
I guess it's pretty obvious by now that I loved this book. Endless gratitude to Z. A. Maxfield for creating these two characters.
I had my doubts about the blurb, which is actually a pretty common problem I have with Maxfield, which just shows the challenges she gives herself in creating these stories. Messed up guys with tragic pasts are not exactly uncommon in M/M contemporary, and having one of the heroes be deaf steered awfully close to afterschool special territory. So sue me, I was an idiot. This is Maxfield--she's just like her heroes, fearlessly standing up to these crazy, risky plot set-ups, and totally coming through for her readers.
I swear I really did think I was going to lose it reading this one, and that is not something that happens to me often. Cooper's story was just that heartbreaking. Though you only learn about what brought him to Nacho's retrospectively, just the idea of someone that gifted flushing his potential down the toilet hurts--hurts like you're watching it happen to someone important to you. And then of course, you see the healing happen, and it just reaffirms your faith.
I guess it's pretty obvious by now that I loved this book. Endless gratitude to Z. A. Maxfield for creating these two characters.
October 14, 2010
I was tempted to give my maximum vote, but I must be honest: It's a wonderful book, but also too dark in my view 
I'll not spoil the story, so the few thinks I can say is that I just finish this book, and regardless the HEA I'm not glad... or happy... I'm still sad for all the terrible things that happened...
. When you read why Cooper freak out inside cars you will understand what I'm saying.
Did I cry reading it? Nope... is a dramatic story, but is not a tearjerker in my view.
All book is only Cooper POV, so being inside his mind and his pains was very intense, but not at the point of made me cry.
Shawn was a big sun in this book. Every time he was mentioned or present the story finally was more enjoyable. Love this character.
Jourdan was ok... I don't dislike him, and I certainly don't like him either.
Stan... well, he was a huge black hole. Maybe is personal hate against who use religion to get fragile minds, but I just hate him so much that I could feel bile rising in my mouth reading his scenes. Only someone (like me) that had a close relative in the hands of nasty persons like Stan can understand my hate.
so, to be fair I'm giving 4 stars (it's an amazing book), but I'm also taking out 1. ZA Maxfield is a great writer, and I still prefer when she put some humor. This book don't have that... not even one scene that made me smile.
Dark... in one word, that's my opinion about St Nacho's
I'll not spoil the story, so the few thinks I can say is that I just finish this book, and regardless the HEA I'm not glad... or happy... I'm still sad for all the terrible things that happened...
. When you read why Cooper freak out inside cars you will understand what I'm saying. Did I cry reading it? Nope... is a dramatic story, but is not a tearjerker in my view.
All book is only Cooper POV, so being inside his mind and his pains was very intense, but not at the point of made me cry.
Shawn was a big sun in this book. Every time he was mentioned or present the story finally was more enjoyable. Love this character.
Jourdan was ok... I don't dislike him, and I certainly don't like him either.
Stan... well, he was a huge black hole. Maybe is personal hate against who use religion to get fragile minds, but I just hate him so much that I could feel bile rising in my mouth reading his scenes. Only someone (like me) that had a close relative in the hands of nasty persons like Stan can understand my hate.
so, to be fair I'm giving 4 stars (it's an amazing book), but I'm also taking out 1. ZA Maxfield is a great writer, and I still prefer when she put some humor. This book don't have that... not even one scene that made me smile.
Dark... in one word, that's my opinion about St Nacho's
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