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The Ceremonies
Jeremy Freirs is a graduate student and teacher who decides to spend his summer working on his dissertation and preparing for the class he will be teaching in the fall on Gothic Literature; he thinks he has found the perfect place in Gilead, New Jersey, is a world all to its own, the home of a strict religious sect with extremely puritan ideas. Moving into a former storage building on the farm of Sarr and Deborah Poroth, he expects to spend a productive summer free from essentially all distractions - he is quite wrong in this assumption. Meanwhile, in New York, the rather reserved Carol Conklin goes about trying to survive in the big city on a small income from her job at a library. She meets Jeremy in New York just before he leaves for the summer, and a connection is made which will find the couple developing a romantic relationship on somewhat strange terms. What Jeremy and Carol do not know is that this relationship is the work of a strange, little old man known as Mr. Rosebottom. Rosie is actually the Old One working to bring his master back after a very long absence, and Jeremy and Carol are the unsuspecting keys to his success
554 pages, Mass Market Paperback
First published July 1, 1984
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August 10, 2024
It waits...
THE CEREMONIES
by T.E.D. Klein
No spoilers. 5 stars. Many thousands of years ago, a mysterious fire fell from the sky like a star falling to Earth and landed in a grove of trees in a primeval forest...
The grove burned for seven days unimpeded. The event was witnessed by the local Indian tribes...
Amid the burnt forest was a charred, blistered tree...
A scheming, intelligent creature hunkered in the tree trunk. It was so burnt it looked like a large hunk of charcoal with claws and one eye...
The creature was far older than humankind and had a task to fulfill before it died...
Time went by...
The world continued spinning, the moon waxed and waned, and vegetation slowly returned to the grove...
The Indians still avoided that part of the forest, especially the old dead tree...
Stars slowly shifted their course, and 5,000 years passed. Settlers arrived and homesteaded the land...
Still, it waited...
On Christmas day, a young boy found his way into the secret grove and saw the monstrous charred creature watching him from the dead tree trunk with its one eye...
The boy ran home but told no one what he had seen. Six days he returned to look at the mysterious creature...
On the seventh day...
It killed him. Later, it gave him back his life twisted and forever altered. The boy fell down and worshipped the creature...
One day...
The monster whispered to the boy everything it wanted the boy to do in great detail, and then the creature died...
So begins the tale of The Ceremonies. This is the best horror novel that I have ever read (and I've read a lot of them). I have owned several copies of this book and have read it so many times that I've lost count.
In the course of his storytelling, Klein mentions many of the novels that inspired him as reference books used by the protagonist, Jeremy Friers, who teaches a course on the subject of literary horror at a NYC university. THE WHITE PEOPLE by Arthur Machen seems to be the blueprint for Klein's masterpiece and the various ceremonies surrounding the story. The protagonist reads the many classic horror books he's brought with him to an Amish-like farming community to spend his summer doing research before his job recommences after the break. He reads the books late into the night by an oil lamp in a converted chicken coop he rents from a farmer and his wife, which makes for some pretty scary nights for him (and the reader).
A pudgy, thirty year old hero, a beautiful and virginal librarian, an uber-religious farming community, a creepy old man (the villain), and colorful ceremonies for bringing about the end of the world make up the plot to this sometimes scary, sometimes humorous tale that you won't soon forget.
I hope that, one day, this novel will be available on Kindle. Pick up a paperback copy from Amazon. It may be written in the 80s, but it reads like (or better than) anything currently available in the genre.
THE CEREMONIES
by T.E.D. Klein
No spoilers. 5 stars. Many thousands of years ago, a mysterious fire fell from the sky like a star falling to Earth and landed in a grove of trees in a primeval forest...
The grove burned for seven days unimpeded. The event was witnessed by the local Indian tribes...
Amid the burnt forest was a charred, blistered tree...
A scheming, intelligent creature hunkered in the tree trunk. It was so burnt it looked like a large hunk of charcoal with claws and one eye...
The creature was far older than humankind and had a task to fulfill before it died...
Time went by...
The world continued spinning, the moon waxed and waned, and vegetation slowly returned to the grove...
The Indians still avoided that part of the forest, especially the old dead tree...
Stars slowly shifted their course, and 5,000 years passed. Settlers arrived and homesteaded the land...
Still, it waited...
On Christmas day, a young boy found his way into the secret grove and saw the monstrous charred creature watching him from the dead tree trunk with its one eye...
The boy ran home but told no one what he had seen. Six days he returned to look at the mysterious creature...
On the seventh day...
It killed him. Later, it gave him back his life twisted and forever altered. The boy fell down and worshipped the creature...
One day...
The monster whispered to the boy everything it wanted the boy to do in great detail, and then the creature died...
So begins the tale of The Ceremonies. This is the best horror novel that I have ever read (and I've read a lot of them). I have owned several copies of this book and have read it so many times that I've lost count.
In the course of his storytelling, Klein mentions many of the novels that inspired him as reference books used by the protagonist, Jeremy Friers, who teaches a course on the subject of literary horror at a NYC university. THE WHITE PEOPLE by Arthur Machen seems to be the blueprint for Klein's masterpiece and the various ceremonies surrounding the story. The protagonist reads the many classic horror books he's brought with him to an Amish-like farming community to spend his summer doing research before his job recommences after the break. He reads the books late into the night by an oil lamp in a converted chicken coop he rents from a farmer and his wife, which makes for some pretty scary nights for him (and the reader).
A pudgy, thirty year old hero, a beautiful and virginal librarian, an uber-religious farming community, a creepy old man (the villain), and colorful ceremonies for bringing about the end of the world make up the plot to this sometimes scary, sometimes humorous tale that you won't soon forget.
I hope that, one day, this novel will be available on Kindle. Pick up a paperback copy from Amazon. It may be written in the 80s, but it reads like (or better than) anything currently available in the genre.
October 2, 2018
”The tree was dead. But crouched amid its branches, hidden by a web of smoke still rising from the earth, something lived: something older far than humankind, and darker than some vast and sunless cavern on a world beyond the farthest depths of space. Something that breathed, schemed, felt itself dying and dying, lived on.
It was outside nature, and alone. It had no name. High above the smoking ground it waited, black against the blackness of the tree.
It’s time would come.”
It is always so helpful when evil is ugly, dark, demented, scarred, or deformed. If we feel revulsion, we can side step our way to the other side of the street until we have safely passed it by. If we hear grotesque evil of some such knocking at our door, we can look through the peephole and go, “Hell no, I’m not opening that portal.” But of course, evil knows that presenting itself with horns, forked tail, and cloven hooves is not going to seduce many souls to the dark side. Wouldn’t it be better if it had the face of a child, or was a beautiful woman, or a charming, handsome gentleman, or maybe….
”It has long been my conviction that, were an absolute and unremitting Evil to find embodiment in human form, it would manifest itself not as some hideous ogre or black-caped apparition with glowing eyes, but rather as an ordinary-looking mortal of harmless, even kindly mien---a middle-aged matron, perhaps, or a schoolboy...or a little old man.”
---Nicolas Keize, Beneath the Moss (1892)
Rosie is the man behind the scenes, shuffling the cards, pulling the strings, and manipulating events. He is about as harmless looking as a human being can be. ”For all his paunch and double chin he looked surprisingly frail up close, and a good deal older than she’d at first supposed, perhaps well along in his seventies. He was no taller than she was, with plump little hands, plump little lips, and soft pink skin with little trace of hair. He reminded her of a freshly powdered baby.”
Although I will say that whenever I have shaken hands with someone with plump little hands, their flesh always seems to pillow around my hand leaving it sticky and slightly damp. *Shudder* Okay, maybe not the best tip off that I’m dealing with an evil entity, but it is still an unsettling experience.
T.E.D. Klein wrote an ode to gothic mysteries, which I can fully appreciate because I have a soft spot for those haunted mansion, rattling chains, demonic evil kind of plots. In this case, he abandons all the normal locations for a good skeleton rattling tale and takes us out to the country among a religious farming cult. I can tell you that evil seems to follow around Bible thumpers like flies to a corpse. I say, if you want to avoid tangling with a diabolical fiend, you should surround yourself with Bacchus loving atheists.
Jeremy Freirs decides that country air would be good for him and that maybe abandoning the city will allow him to focus on his dissertation regarding gothic novels. He brings bags full of books with him of all the usual suspects, Edgar Allan Poe, Bram Stoker, Arthur Machen, H.P. Lovecraft, Ann Radcliffe, and one of my favorite gothic novels…The Monk. Now on the Poroth farm, he stands out like a sore thumb. He is chubby in a community of people who stay rail thin working hard for a living. They don’t believe in modern conveniences, not even electricity, so farming is about as hard as it can be made to be. The great thing about candles and lanterns is they create WAY better creepy shadows. Jeremy stumbles around trying to convince himself that he is having a good time, but really he is about as happy with nature as a werewolf is with a veggie platter.
Back in NYC, Jeremy’s almost girlfriend Carol is under the guidance of the harmless little old man Rosie, who, of course, is manipulating her into going to the country to see Jeremy, as the Poroth farm is exactly the place where the diabolical reawakening of an ancient evil is going to happen.
Holy S**t, right?
Now Carol has another problem which makes her a perfect candidate for this nefarious manifestation of evil. She is a virgin. Being a virgin in a horror novel of this type is like wearing a red shirt on an away team on Star Trek. Carol has a flowing white dress, some BDSM, and some pain in her near future.
On the farm, things are getting wiggy. In a letter (for the Millenniums out there, that is how we communicated in the past...think of it as long hand texting) to Carol, Jeremy sums it up nicely. ”I tell you, Carol, this summer started off like Currier & Ives, but it’s ending up like Edward Gorey.”
And he don’t know the half of it.
Klein also creates an interesting dynamic between the two couples once Carol arrives at the farm. Jeremy has been having rather elaborate fantasies about Sarr Poroth’s lush wife, Deborah. Sarr is also showing more than a casual interest in the lithe and pretty Carol. Jeremy is more than a little jealous at Sarr’s interest in Carol, and Sarr is well aware that Jeremy has been making lustful eyes at his wife. It is almost comical the amount of time the characters are moving around the board worried about who might sleep with whom when this incredibly horrible, vile, monstrous thing is about to crash the party.
The book, unfortunately, feels bloated. I felt a bit bogged down in the swamps from time to time with sweat trickling down my back and tall weeds in all directions. Klein does bring everything together into one explosive climax and does a great job tipping his cap to those gothic horror writers who have come before him. He certainly understood the gothic elements. ”Suddenly a flash of lightning lit the sky. Freirs shouted and drew back. A humped grey shape was pressed against his screen, outlined in the light. The eyes were wide, unblinking, cold as a snake’s. The mouth hung partly open. There appeared to be something crouched inside it….
Yabba Dabba do!
If you wish to see more of my most recent book and movie reviews, visit http://www.jeffreykeeten.com
I also have a Facebook blogger page at:https://www.facebook.com/JeffreyKeeten
You can also find terrific reviews at:http://www.shelfinflicted.com/
It was outside nature, and alone. It had no name. High above the smoking ground it waited, black against the blackness of the tree.
It’s time would come.”
It is always so helpful when evil is ugly, dark, demented, scarred, or deformed. If we feel revulsion, we can side step our way to the other side of the street until we have safely passed it by. If we hear grotesque evil of some such knocking at our door, we can look through the peephole and go, “Hell no, I’m not opening that portal.” But of course, evil knows that presenting itself with horns, forked tail, and cloven hooves is not going to seduce many souls to the dark side. Wouldn’t it be better if it had the face of a child, or was a beautiful woman, or a charming, handsome gentleman, or maybe….
”It has long been my conviction that, were an absolute and unremitting Evil to find embodiment in human form, it would manifest itself not as some hideous ogre or black-caped apparition with glowing eyes, but rather as an ordinary-looking mortal of harmless, even kindly mien---a middle-aged matron, perhaps, or a schoolboy...or a little old man.”
---Nicolas Keize, Beneath the Moss (1892)
Rosie is the man behind the scenes, shuffling the cards, pulling the strings, and manipulating events. He is about as harmless looking as a human being can be. ”For all his paunch and double chin he looked surprisingly frail up close, and a good deal older than she’d at first supposed, perhaps well along in his seventies. He was no taller than she was, with plump little hands, plump little lips, and soft pink skin with little trace of hair. He reminded her of a freshly powdered baby.”
Although I will say that whenever I have shaken hands with someone with plump little hands, their flesh always seems to pillow around my hand leaving it sticky and slightly damp. *Shudder* Okay, maybe not the best tip off that I’m dealing with an evil entity, but it is still an unsettling experience.
T.E.D. Klein wrote an ode to gothic mysteries, which I can fully appreciate because I have a soft spot for those haunted mansion, rattling chains, demonic evil kind of plots. In this case, he abandons all the normal locations for a good skeleton rattling tale and takes us out to the country among a religious farming cult. I can tell you that evil seems to follow around Bible thumpers like flies to a corpse. I say, if you want to avoid tangling with a diabolical fiend, you should surround yourself with Bacchus loving atheists.
Jeremy Freirs decides that country air would be good for him and that maybe abandoning the city will allow him to focus on his dissertation regarding gothic novels. He brings bags full of books with him of all the usual suspects, Edgar Allan Poe, Bram Stoker, Arthur Machen, H.P. Lovecraft, Ann Radcliffe, and one of my favorite gothic novels…The Monk. Now on the Poroth farm, he stands out like a sore thumb. He is chubby in a community of people who stay rail thin working hard for a living. They don’t believe in modern conveniences, not even electricity, so farming is about as hard as it can be made to be. The great thing about candles and lanterns is they create WAY better creepy shadows. Jeremy stumbles around trying to convince himself that he is having a good time, but really he is about as happy with nature as a werewolf is with a veggie platter.
Back in NYC, Jeremy’s almost girlfriend Carol is under the guidance of the harmless little old man Rosie, who, of course, is manipulating her into going to the country to see Jeremy, as the Poroth farm is exactly the place where the diabolical reawakening of an ancient evil is going to happen.
Holy S**t, right?
Now Carol has another problem which makes her a perfect candidate for this nefarious manifestation of evil. She is a virgin. Being a virgin in a horror novel of this type is like wearing a red shirt on an away team on Star Trek. Carol has a flowing white dress, some BDSM, and some pain in her near future.
On the farm, things are getting wiggy. In a letter (for the Millenniums out there, that is how we communicated in the past...think of it as long hand texting) to Carol, Jeremy sums it up nicely. ”I tell you, Carol, this summer started off like Currier & Ives, but it’s ending up like Edward Gorey.”
And he don’t know the half of it.
Klein also creates an interesting dynamic between the two couples once Carol arrives at the farm. Jeremy has been having rather elaborate fantasies about Sarr Poroth’s lush wife, Deborah. Sarr is also showing more than a casual interest in the lithe and pretty Carol. Jeremy is more than a little jealous at Sarr’s interest in Carol, and Sarr is well aware that Jeremy has been making lustful eyes at his wife. It is almost comical the amount of time the characters are moving around the board worried about who might sleep with whom when this incredibly horrible, vile, monstrous thing is about to crash the party.
The book, unfortunately, feels bloated. I felt a bit bogged down in the swamps from time to time with sweat trickling down my back and tall weeds in all directions. Klein does bring everything together into one explosive climax and does a great job tipping his cap to those gothic horror writers who have come before him. He certainly understood the gothic elements. ”Suddenly a flash of lightning lit the sky. Freirs shouted and drew back. A humped grey shape was pressed against his screen, outlined in the light. The eyes were wide, unblinking, cold as a snake’s. The mouth hung partly open. There appeared to be something crouched inside it….
Yabba Dabba do!
If you wish to see more of my most recent book and movie reviews, visit http://www.jeffreykeeten.com
I also have a Facebook blogger page at:https://www.facebook.com/JeffreyKeeten
You can also find terrific reviews at:http://www.shelfinflicted.com/
July 14, 2021
It has been awhile since I first read The Ceremonies by T.E.D. Klein.
I remember adoring this book as a little pumpkin seed; finding it at a small store in cottage country, loving the cover art and consuming the whole novel over a rainy afternoon.
It was an instant favourite.
But over time a lot of your favourite stories lose a little something.
When you're younger, everything you read feels fresh. Much like one of the characters in this novel, you are touched for the very first time. But you can only be touched for the first time, once. When you get older, the same tricks just don't create the same razzle-dazzle effect. You don't get the starry eyes of your youth. A lot of novels just don't have enough magic to crack through your crusty wall of cynicism and reach the juicy empathy berries within.
To my surprise, while re-reading T.E.D. Klein's Ceremonies not only did it reach my juicy empathy berries, it squeezed those berries so hard they became a rich dark wine.
I felt the spirit of Orson Welles hovering around my head on gentle cherubic wings, desperate to do a commercial about the delicious nectar pouring out of my soul.
"Aaaaaaah, the French champagne!"
In other words: The Ceremonies is really good. I think it's even better than I remembered. Maybe (dare I say it), a classic? A masterpiece of modern horror?
Perhaps! You decide.
Actually, no.
This is my book review.
I decide!
So yes, it is a masterpiece. Harold Bloom can shake his fist at me from the afterlife! I'm killing literature, baby! Try and stop me!
The Ceremonies was originally released in the horror novel boom of the 1980s. Written by T.E.D. Klein (one of his few finished works) The Ceremonies joined a legion of putrid paperback princesses that flooded book stores with a tsunami wave of ghosts, bloodbaths and beasties. Many of these books were wretched, others were pretty good, a scant few were buried gems.
The Ceremonies is one such gem.
It's a slow-burn Gothic horror novel set (mostly) in rural America and features an out of shape city slicker renting a renovated chicken coop on a young couple's farm. The couple are deeply in debt, possessing many cats (including a big jerk cat) and they're in the middle of a tough harvest. The couple also belongs to a hardcore, xenophobic, religious community and don't want to see any frisky shenanigans happening on their property. The city guy assures them he's just there to chew bubblegum and read Gothic horror and he's all out of bubblegum. However, dark forces in the universe have other plans, as the romantic interest of the city-fella is drawn to the small community and comes to visit her blushing, dad-bod beau. What's the worst that could happen?
Well, yeah.
Ceremonies features love triangles and awkward romances, sexual fantasies, naked fat guys climbing trees, weird magical trips to Cony Island, the battle between good and evil and fundamentalist weirdos enjoying bread a bit too much. It also has a sweet little old man who wants to set up a pretty librarian with a giant kinky tentacle monster straight out of Urotsukidōji.
Is it actually a ritual to bring about the end of the world? Or is it a fetish?
Only the great lord Cthulhu knows for sure.
What's that? You need more? .
How about a killer grumpy cat possessed by demons? Check.
A mystical religious grandma out to thwart the plans of Satan? Check!
Heaving bosoms
Sexy farmers
Slipped panties
Monster babies
Serial killing
Inappropriate Hymn singing
Demonic library children
Scary flowers
Angry critiques of Bram Stoker's Lair of the White Worm
The horrific origins of Eeny, meeny, miny, moe
Home renovation
Roommate massacres
Weird plant growths
Killer bugs
Forbidden fruit
Hidden bodies
And much more!!!
All this in one novel for the super low price of 19.99? That's cheaper than a meal at most fast food joints.
Has T.E.D. Klein gone mad?!
Probably!
The Ceremonies joins the illustrious tradition of horror classics, where the elder gods from beyond space and time are awakening from their antediluvian slumber. And they are horny! They're hot to trot! Or the octopus equivalent (steaming to squish?) And only one thing is on the sexual menu: human virgins!
That's right kids. Nyarlathotep has got a bad case of the morning wood and only a red-head, virgin, librarian raised by nuns and wearing white silk panties can appease him!
Hey. We've all been there. The heart wants what the heart wants.
I affectionately call this sub-genre: "The monsters are comin' fer our women!" Where horror baddies take the role of the "outsider" coming to poison the protected culture via sexual seduction, or just outright force. A stereotypical fear of most insular communities (especially regressive, Puritan ones) that usually leads to sexual panic.
The difference in The Ceremonies is that the triangle of men looking to get their claws into the poor virginal lass, are all slime-balls. In most of this fiction, the men trying to 'protect their women' are seen as honest, kind and moral to the point of absurdity. Almost Captain America types who only descend into cruelty when something truly awful happens.
In The Ceremonies each of the primary male figures are noticeably flawed, selfish and myopic. The main character is so myopic he can barely see around his own petty desires, even when they clearly endanger him. He is consumed by his wants and that becomes recognisable in his health. He physically embodies his personal failures. Meanwhile the righteous fundamentalist Christian man is wildly insecure and afraid of his attractive wife. And he's lustful towards the virgin and wants to control her. And he's also resentful and paranoid about his mother and eager to please a religious group who encourage physical abuse as a way to iron out differences in a relationship. In comparison to those two it's almost easy to forget the villain is the villain.
Each individual character becomes a mirror image of the other man's ambitions and short-comings. In one particular scene the main protagonist gets close to crossing a line with the virgin and is actually stopped by the antagonist (who wants the girl for himself). In the context of the scene, neither man really cares about the girl or her feelings. They both want to use her at the expense of her emotions. They both view the woman as an object to be won and in either case as a symbolic prize as much as a physical prize. This scene is meant to draw a parallel between the protagonist and the antagonist and soon that connection also links to the religious man. The three primary male characters of the story become a sort of sexual Ouroboros, the serpent swallowing its own tail. Wanting and desiring the woman as a key to bring about their ideal world, and trying to sabotage each other's goals at the same time. Not so much a triangle, as a circle fighting itself. And the entire struggle, the whole game is just pieces of a bigger and more elaborate evil design.
So much of The Ceremonies rests on this point.
This isn't even subtext in the novel, the whole book is about how the worst evils are baked right into the system. They don't come from the media or conspiracies or evil cults. They're just so omnipresent, they exist everywhere in the media and will inevitably spring up in everything. From cynical city intellectuals to religious fanatics. From kid's childish games to ancient rituals. The villain points out in one scene that's it not some ancient, hidden tome or Grimoire that has the spells to bring back the old gods. There's no Necronomicon. The real magic is everywhere. It's in poetry and popular novels and lyrics and board games and art. Not messages spoken backwards in Sumerian.
Just the right story read at the right place at the right time to the right person. And BINGO, everybody's naked and doing interpretive dances for Azathoth.
In the context of a story where a young woman is being targeted by exploitative creeps for their own ends The Ceremonies is clearly using that dynamic as way to confront a sort of inherent corruption. Either the protagonist or his rival the Christian fundamentalist could easily take the role of the villain. And the antagonist sees them both in that light and states it as a fact. Outright. It's not subtext. It's text.
And if that was the only thing about The Ceremonies that was interesting, it'd be an amazing book that's kinda ahead of its time.
But what really stands out about The Ceremonies is that it's one of the best plotted novels I've ever read.
The Ceremonies gets bigger and crazier and more elaborate and detailed as it reaches its final chapters. But it also gets tighter and better scripted.
It's so damn slick.
The author always revolves the events around the characters, not the other way around. Characters where you never expect to see anything but surface-level motivations get depth. Not just through dialog, but through mythos.
The author lets characters be real and sets that reality at the centre of the story. Everything else orbits around it. He lets them be unlikable. Especially the protagonist. It's not just 80s "boys will be boys". This guy can be trash. But T.E.D adds dimension and gravitas to him. So you still care about the protagonist. You got all these conflicting emotions about him, even as the story reaches its conclusion.
The virginal librarian is way more complex than 99% of the stereotype. She's not up on a pedestal, despite every character trying to put her there. You feel her inner conflict over all of her relationships. How she connects to each of the primary male characters and why she feels isolated from them. T.E.D builds a solid bond between the girl and the main villain that is at once warm and comfortable and creepy as hell.
The author gives complex emotions and personality to the typical religious fundamentalist stereotype. He lets you see their motivations and what drives them. He doesn't let them ever be "just dumb rednecks". And it builds a genuine connection between the small insular culture and the audience. You don't like everything about these people (some things you will absolutely hate), but in the finale you're afraid for them. They're not just a crazed mob. You don't want to see them get hurt.
This even applies to the evil cultist trying to bring the world to an end. You can see and appreciate his cunning without justifying it. The villain is the biggest manipulator in the book, but in a way, he's also the most honest because unlike the other characters, he's honest with himself. It's refreshing. It's a delightful bit of writing, because the villain slips from being really upbeat and interesting, where you actually hope he shows up in a chapter, to being unbelievably disgusting. Like raising more red flags than Stalin. And that transition can happen in a smirk.
This focus on the characters is what makes The Ceremonies so damn compelling. It can be full of digressions, but they're always relevant to the overall plot. The mythos is built around the characters so every-time it is expanded, it adds to the characters, instead of distracting you from them. It makes the story feel richer, bigger, instead of making the novel feel like it's spinning its wheels in exposition to fill up pages.
The Ceremonies is a big book full of tons of ideas that works up slowly to a horror apocalypse. But it's never boring.
This book has realistic concepts (long-distance relationships, difficulty paying rent, etc) absurd concepts (cat from hell) and brutally nasty concepts (baby burning). It grounds all these concepts through tight character plotting and brings them together in a way that feels tonally consistent.
Which is nuts.
It's one thing to have a writhing bucket of strange plot elements, it's quite another thing entirely to be able to present those elements in a form that's coherent.
That is serious craftsmanship.
A lot of horror novels are tasty. The Ceremonies is gourmet.
10/10
Also: There's a character who goes from being a figurative dickhead to a literal dickhead.
And that, ladies and gentlemen is what we call literature.
Thank you, good night!
I remember adoring this book as a little pumpkin seed; finding it at a small store in cottage country, loving the cover art and consuming the whole novel over a rainy afternoon.
It was an instant favourite.
But over time a lot of your favourite stories lose a little something.
When you're younger, everything you read feels fresh. Much like one of the characters in this novel, you are touched for the very first time. But you can only be touched for the first time, once. When you get older, the same tricks just don't create the same razzle-dazzle effect. You don't get the starry eyes of your youth. A lot of novels just don't have enough magic to crack through your crusty wall of cynicism and reach the juicy empathy berries within.
To my surprise, while re-reading T.E.D. Klein's Ceremonies not only did it reach my juicy empathy berries, it squeezed those berries so hard they became a rich dark wine.
I felt the spirit of Orson Welles hovering around my head on gentle cherubic wings, desperate to do a commercial about the delicious nectar pouring out of my soul.
"Aaaaaaah, the French champagne!"
In other words: The Ceremonies is really good. I think it's even better than I remembered. Maybe (dare I say it), a classic? A masterpiece of modern horror?
Perhaps! You decide.
Actually, no.
This is my book review.
I decide!
So yes, it is a masterpiece. Harold Bloom can shake his fist at me from the afterlife! I'm killing literature, baby! Try and stop me!
The Ceremonies was originally released in the horror novel boom of the 1980s. Written by T.E.D. Klein (one of his few finished works) The Ceremonies joined a legion of putrid paperback princesses that flooded book stores with a tsunami wave of ghosts, bloodbaths and beasties. Many of these books were wretched, others were pretty good, a scant few were buried gems.
The Ceremonies is one such gem.
It's a slow-burn Gothic horror novel set (mostly) in rural America and features an out of shape city slicker renting a renovated chicken coop on a young couple's farm. The couple are deeply in debt, possessing many cats (including a big jerk cat) and they're in the middle of a tough harvest. The couple also belongs to a hardcore, xenophobic, religious community and don't want to see any frisky shenanigans happening on their property. The city guy assures them he's just there to chew bubblegum and read Gothic horror and he's all out of bubblegum. However, dark forces in the universe have other plans, as the romantic interest of the city-fella is drawn to the small community and comes to visit her blushing, dad-bod beau. What's the worst that could happen?
Well, yeah.
Ceremonies features love triangles and awkward romances, sexual fantasies, naked fat guys climbing trees, weird magical trips to Cony Island, the battle between good and evil and fundamentalist weirdos enjoying bread a bit too much. It also has a sweet little old man who wants to set up a pretty librarian with a giant kinky tentacle monster straight out of Urotsukidōji.
Is it actually a ritual to bring about the end of the world? Or is it a fetish?
Only the great lord Cthulhu knows for sure.
What's that? You need more? .
How about a killer grumpy cat possessed by demons? Check.
A mystical religious grandma out to thwart the plans of Satan? Check!
Heaving bosoms
Sexy farmers
Slipped panties
Monster babies
Serial killing
Inappropriate Hymn singing
Demonic library children
Scary flowers
Angry critiques of Bram Stoker's Lair of the White Worm
The horrific origins of Eeny, meeny, miny, moe
Home renovation
Roommate massacres
Weird plant growths
Killer bugs
Forbidden fruit
Hidden bodies
And much more!!!
All this in one novel for the super low price of 19.99? That's cheaper than a meal at most fast food joints.
Has T.E.D. Klein gone mad?!
Probably!
The Ceremonies joins the illustrious tradition of horror classics, where the elder gods from beyond space and time are awakening from their antediluvian slumber. And they are horny! They're hot to trot! Or the octopus equivalent (steaming to squish?) And only one thing is on the sexual menu: human virgins!
That's right kids. Nyarlathotep has got a bad case of the morning wood and only a red-head, virgin, librarian raised by nuns and wearing white silk panties can appease him!
Hey. We've all been there. The heart wants what the heart wants.
I affectionately call this sub-genre: "The monsters are comin' fer our women!" Where horror baddies take the role of the "outsider" coming to poison the protected culture via sexual seduction, or just outright force. A stereotypical fear of most insular communities (especially regressive, Puritan ones) that usually leads to sexual panic.
The difference in The Ceremonies is that the triangle of men looking to get their claws into the poor virginal lass, are all slime-balls. In most of this fiction, the men trying to 'protect their women' are seen as honest, kind and moral to the point of absurdity. Almost Captain America types who only descend into cruelty when something truly awful happens.
In The Ceremonies each of the primary male figures are noticeably flawed, selfish and myopic. The main character is so myopic he can barely see around his own petty desires, even when they clearly endanger him. He is consumed by his wants and that becomes recognisable in his health. He physically embodies his personal failures. Meanwhile the righteous fundamentalist Christian man is wildly insecure and afraid of his attractive wife. And he's lustful towards the virgin and wants to control her. And he's also resentful and paranoid about his mother and eager to please a religious group who encourage physical abuse as a way to iron out differences in a relationship. In comparison to those two it's almost easy to forget the villain is the villain.
Each individual character becomes a mirror image of the other man's ambitions and short-comings. In one particular scene the main protagonist gets close to crossing a line with the virgin and is actually stopped by the antagonist (who wants the girl for himself). In the context of the scene, neither man really cares about the girl or her feelings. They both want to use her at the expense of her emotions. They both view the woman as an object to be won and in either case as a symbolic prize as much as a physical prize. This scene is meant to draw a parallel between the protagonist and the antagonist and soon that connection also links to the religious man. The three primary male characters of the story become a sort of sexual Ouroboros, the serpent swallowing its own tail. Wanting and desiring the woman as a key to bring about their ideal world, and trying to sabotage each other's goals at the same time. Not so much a triangle, as a circle fighting itself. And the entire struggle, the whole game is just pieces of a bigger and more elaborate evil design.
So much of The Ceremonies rests on this point.
This isn't even subtext in the novel, the whole book is about how the worst evils are baked right into the system. They don't come from the media or conspiracies or evil cults. They're just so omnipresent, they exist everywhere in the media and will inevitably spring up in everything. From cynical city intellectuals to religious fanatics. From kid's childish games to ancient rituals. The villain points out in one scene that's it not some ancient, hidden tome or Grimoire that has the spells to bring back the old gods. There's no Necronomicon. The real magic is everywhere. It's in poetry and popular novels and lyrics and board games and art. Not messages spoken backwards in Sumerian.
Just the right story read at the right place at the right time to the right person. And BINGO, everybody's naked and doing interpretive dances for Azathoth.
In the context of a story where a young woman is being targeted by exploitative creeps for their own ends The Ceremonies is clearly using that dynamic as way to confront a sort of inherent corruption. Either the protagonist or his rival the Christian fundamentalist could easily take the role of the villain. And the antagonist sees them both in that light and states it as a fact. Outright. It's not subtext. It's text.
And if that was the only thing about The Ceremonies that was interesting, it'd be an amazing book that's kinda ahead of its time.
But what really stands out about The Ceremonies is that it's one of the best plotted novels I've ever read.
The Ceremonies gets bigger and crazier and more elaborate and detailed as it reaches its final chapters. But it also gets tighter and better scripted.
It's so damn slick.
The author always revolves the events around the characters, not the other way around. Characters where you never expect to see anything but surface-level motivations get depth. Not just through dialog, but through mythos.
The author lets characters be real and sets that reality at the centre of the story. Everything else orbits around it. He lets them be unlikable. Especially the protagonist. It's not just 80s "boys will be boys". This guy can be trash. But T.E.D adds dimension and gravitas to him. So you still care about the protagonist. You got all these conflicting emotions about him, even as the story reaches its conclusion.
The virginal librarian is way more complex than 99% of the stereotype. She's not up on a pedestal, despite every character trying to put her there. You feel her inner conflict over all of her relationships. How she connects to each of the primary male characters and why she feels isolated from them. T.E.D builds a solid bond between the girl and the main villain that is at once warm and comfortable and creepy as hell.
The author gives complex emotions and personality to the typical religious fundamentalist stereotype. He lets you see their motivations and what drives them. He doesn't let them ever be "just dumb rednecks". And it builds a genuine connection between the small insular culture and the audience. You don't like everything about these people (some things you will absolutely hate), but in the finale you're afraid for them. They're not just a crazed mob. You don't want to see them get hurt.
This even applies to the evil cultist trying to bring the world to an end. You can see and appreciate his cunning without justifying it. The villain is the biggest manipulator in the book, but in a way, he's also the most honest because unlike the other characters, he's honest with himself. It's refreshing. It's a delightful bit of writing, because the villain slips from being really upbeat and interesting, where you actually hope he shows up in a chapter, to being unbelievably disgusting. Like raising more red flags than Stalin. And that transition can happen in a smirk.
This focus on the characters is what makes The Ceremonies so damn compelling. It can be full of digressions, but they're always relevant to the overall plot. The mythos is built around the characters so every-time it is expanded, it adds to the characters, instead of distracting you from them. It makes the story feel richer, bigger, instead of making the novel feel like it's spinning its wheels in exposition to fill up pages.
The Ceremonies is a big book full of tons of ideas that works up slowly to a horror apocalypse. But it's never boring.
This book has realistic concepts (long-distance relationships, difficulty paying rent, etc) absurd concepts (cat from hell) and brutally nasty concepts (baby burning). It grounds all these concepts through tight character plotting and brings them together in a way that feels tonally consistent.
Which is nuts.
It's one thing to have a writhing bucket of strange plot elements, it's quite another thing entirely to be able to present those elements in a form that's coherent.
That is serious craftsmanship.
A lot of horror novels are tasty. The Ceremonies is gourmet.
10/10
Also: There's a character who goes from being a figurative dickhead to a literal dickhead.
And that, ladies and gentlemen is what we call literature.
Thank you, good night!
October 9, 2012
So, yeah, T.E.D. Klein....
Edited TWILIGHT ZONE MAGAZINE back in the day (I subscribed from the first issue) and wrote a passel of short stories which, in my limited reading experience, I found "accomplished" but did not completely grab me - with the exception of "The Events At Poroth Farm", which he later expanded into this novel right here. Klein's short fiction stands out in my mind for a singular reason - of an endless slew of horror writers referencing Lovecraft for inspiration through the decades, Klein was the first to make gestures towards engaging Lovecraft's dubious racial attitudes (although - let me phrase this correctly - not in a critical way, more as a background element).
I feel this is a pretty solid "3 stars" novel. Yes, it expands on "Poroth" and if you've read that, you may find it a bit drawn out because you've already experienced these "events" in a more focused form. This is not an inherent fault of or flaw in the novel, however, just part of the path by which it was conceived which must be taken into account.
The book is not without its strengths and not without its weaknesses. I'll get to those in a moment. Basic plot - Divorced College lecturer Jeremy Friers takes a summer rental in the wilds of Northern New Jersey (my home state!) to do research on the Gothic novel. The rental is located on the farm of a simple, God-fearing couple (Sarr & Deborah Poroth) - members of the small town's Christian fellowship sect (think Amish or Mennonites). As the summer progresses, the farm and its occupants gradually begin to fall under sway of an encroaching corruption that disrupts their lives. Meanwhile, in a parallel thread, a virginal young woman (Carol) is manipulated by a charming but creepy old man (Mr. Rosebottom, aka "The Old One") into eventually taking a role in the events (the titular "Ceremonies") which he is orchestrating out on the farm.
There's a bit of Harvest Home here, with the isolated rural religious community observing, and being observed by, an outsider. There's also a bit of Rosemary's Baby in Mr. Rosebottom's recruitment of the unwitting Carol. The book's main strengths lie in its character depth and its commitment to a methodical, atmospheric, slow-burn deployment of the threat. Events accrue in a slow, detailed manner (much as the enacting of the "Ceremonies" themselves must be approached), eventually tipping from disturbing detail to acts of aggression to apocalyptic happenings. There's two things to be said about this later point. First, that may not be what some readers want from a horror novel - no implicit judgment in that, just a statement of truth. There are lots of ways to write a novel and lots of ways to write a horror novel and not all of them work for everyone. This is complicated by the second point, however - which is that even by the standards of someone like me, who is totally willing to go along with this approach, the book drags a bit at the beginning and the climax is somewhat underwhelming relative to that slow build. It is, after all, Klein's first novel.
The book's weaknesses, thus, lie in its methodical approach eventually culminating in a sequence which - while certainly horrific in some sense (I found the literal "Yin/Yang" symbolism of the climactic altar scene visually disturbing) and suitably pulpy (roaring fires, flowers with teeth, towering mounds, an altar, a monster, an earthquake, etc.) - was also kind of familiar and in which the ultimate problem is "solved" somewhat too easily. There's another aspect which some seemed to have a problem with - the removal of the primary antagonist from the book at about the four/fifths point through a manner which some found too incidental. I actually thought that while it could have been specifically handled in a slightly better way, the actual event was not incongruous as the book had explicitly made the point earlier that the forces working for "evil" were just as fallible as the unwitting pawns - wisdom, small magics and an awareness of vast plots and powers do not necessarily overcome hubris, lazy planning and impetuousness in other words.
The characterization is another crux on which the book both rises and falls. The methodical approach allows for an extended examination of the main characters and I felt they came across as well-rounded and realistic, bearing both positive and negative qualities like most people (thus, some find them "unlikeable") and balancing each other (the basic quartet dynamic - the atheistic academic, the friendly but pious farmer, his equally pious but slightly more sensuous wife, and the virginal but worldly love interest -is nicely done). Unfortunately, for plot reasons, one of those characters is not afforded an internal monologue like the rest and when you pick up on this, you can begin to see where the story might be going. Actually, the carefully built character attention generally tends to fall apart near the end of the book, and not merely because of those plot turns I mentioned - in particular, Sarr's visionary mother basically disappears (I think it may be intended that we presume she's killed) and Carol, a major character and focus of equal-time attention at the start of the book, basically has her role diminished into that of a wordless prop by the end.
Some reviewers also question the wisdom of making Mr. Rosebottom a main character as well, seeing as he is the agent of an alien, ancient evil - but I actually kind of liked this, and the small moments of rushing and mistake nicely "humanized" what is an essentially unknowable character in such a way as to make his efforts seem like "efforts" - instead of some inevitable cosmic conspiracy - and thus his downfall seems more plausible. "Truman Capote as servant of Yog Sothoth" was how I pictured him.
Of course, there's also the expected references to classic works of horror (a nice little moment replicates an image from Green Tea by Joseph Sheridan Le Fanu - and there are others), with Arthur Machen's "The White People" the primary touchstone. That may seem like an odd choice as the power of that tale comes from the observation and inculcation of ancient cultic/occultic practices as filtered through the language and worldview of a young girl - and any explication of those ominous mysteries might serve to undermine them rather than elevate them. And yet Klein does a good job with these mystery cult practices, making them symbolic and resonant without rendering them too formulated and deterministic.
Really, this is an essentially flawed but sometimes rewarding work - perhaps showing that Klein just didn't have it in him to commit to the novel structure in a satisfying way. He does a very good job with landscape and environment description, bringing the setting to life through repetition and attention to varied details. There's also some nice grace notes - Sarr Poroth's long description of his one and only visit to New York City (Manhattan sketched in realistic but cold and brutal terms as viewed by a deeply religious man) is very powerful - this scene is followed by the initial encounter with and discussion about the mysterious, Tarot-like "Dynod" deck, with its ominous and unnerving (yet oddly simple) imagery. And the whole sequence culminates in a fitful night of creepy and evocative nocturnal trance actions which cause time itself to "slip a groove". I also enjoyed the sequence with Carol at her dance class, as her fellow students unwittingly fall under the sway of the folk-magic dance she's been taught.
But there's also missed opportunities - the ending feels rushed and I thought that more would be made of such magical/psychological training as the visualization and "what if" games - it seemed likely they would figure into the climax, allowing the evil an opportunity to manifest in a more powerful form, but such was not to be.
I think if you're a casual reader of horror you could probably pass on THE CEREMONIES and not miss much (although you really should read "Poroth Farm") but if the Machen aspects, or just an interest in Klein's work intrigues you, you wouldn't be wasting your time by giving it a go, either. Neither the "modern classic" proclaimed by Thomas F. Monteleone nor the abysmal failure proclaimed by some here on Goodreads - the book does have its rewards, but also its longueurs. Proceed with caution... and keep the bug spray handy.
Edited TWILIGHT ZONE MAGAZINE back in the day (I subscribed from the first issue) and wrote a passel of short stories which, in my limited reading experience, I found "accomplished" but did not completely grab me - with the exception of "The Events At Poroth Farm", which he later expanded into this novel right here. Klein's short fiction stands out in my mind for a singular reason - of an endless slew of horror writers referencing Lovecraft for inspiration through the decades, Klein was the first to make gestures towards engaging Lovecraft's dubious racial attitudes (although - let me phrase this correctly - not in a critical way, more as a background element).
I feel this is a pretty solid "3 stars" novel. Yes, it expands on "Poroth" and if you've read that, you may find it a bit drawn out because you've already experienced these "events" in a more focused form. This is not an inherent fault of or flaw in the novel, however, just part of the path by which it was conceived which must be taken into account.
The book is not without its strengths and not without its weaknesses. I'll get to those in a moment. Basic plot - Divorced College lecturer Jeremy Friers takes a summer rental in the wilds of Northern New Jersey (my home state!) to do research on the Gothic novel. The rental is located on the farm of a simple, God-fearing couple (Sarr & Deborah Poroth) - members of the small town's Christian fellowship sect (think Amish or Mennonites). As the summer progresses, the farm and its occupants gradually begin to fall under sway of an encroaching corruption that disrupts their lives. Meanwhile, in a parallel thread, a virginal young woman (Carol) is manipulated by a charming but creepy old man (Mr. Rosebottom, aka "The Old One") into eventually taking a role in the events (the titular "Ceremonies") which he is orchestrating out on the farm.
There's a bit of Harvest Home here, with the isolated rural religious community observing, and being observed by, an outsider. There's also a bit of Rosemary's Baby in Mr. Rosebottom's recruitment of the unwitting Carol. The book's main strengths lie in its character depth and its commitment to a methodical, atmospheric, slow-burn deployment of the threat. Events accrue in a slow, detailed manner (much as the enacting of the "Ceremonies" themselves must be approached), eventually tipping from disturbing detail to acts of aggression to apocalyptic happenings. There's two things to be said about this later point. First, that may not be what some readers want from a horror novel - no implicit judgment in that, just a statement of truth. There are lots of ways to write a novel and lots of ways to write a horror novel and not all of them work for everyone. This is complicated by the second point, however - which is that even by the standards of someone like me, who is totally willing to go along with this approach, the book drags a bit at the beginning and the climax is somewhat underwhelming relative to that slow build. It is, after all, Klein's first novel.
The book's weaknesses, thus, lie in its methodical approach eventually culminating in a sequence which - while certainly horrific in some sense (I found the literal "Yin/Yang" symbolism of the climactic altar scene visually disturbing) and suitably pulpy (roaring fires, flowers with teeth, towering mounds, an altar, a monster, an earthquake, etc.) - was also kind of familiar and in which the ultimate problem is "solved" somewhat too easily. There's another aspect which some seemed to have a problem with - the removal of the primary antagonist from the book at about the four/fifths point through a manner which some found too incidental. I actually thought that while it could have been specifically handled in a slightly better way, the actual event was not incongruous as the book had explicitly made the point earlier that the forces working for "evil" were just as fallible as the unwitting pawns - wisdom, small magics and an awareness of vast plots and powers do not necessarily overcome hubris, lazy planning and impetuousness in other words.
The characterization is another crux on which the book both rises and falls. The methodical approach allows for an extended examination of the main characters and I felt they came across as well-rounded and realistic, bearing both positive and negative qualities like most people (thus, some find them "unlikeable") and balancing each other (the basic quartet dynamic - the atheistic academic, the friendly but pious farmer, his equally pious but slightly more sensuous wife, and the virginal but worldly love interest -is nicely done). Unfortunately, for plot reasons, one of those characters is not afforded an internal monologue like the rest and when you pick up on this, you can begin to see where the story might be going. Actually, the carefully built character attention generally tends to fall apart near the end of the book, and not merely because of those plot turns I mentioned - in particular, Sarr's visionary mother basically disappears (I think it may be intended that we presume she's killed) and Carol, a major character and focus of equal-time attention at the start of the book, basically has her role diminished into that of a wordless prop by the end.
Some reviewers also question the wisdom of making Mr. Rosebottom a main character as well, seeing as he is the agent of an alien, ancient evil - but I actually kind of liked this, and the small moments of rushing and mistake nicely "humanized" what is an essentially unknowable character in such a way as to make his efforts seem like "efforts" - instead of some inevitable cosmic conspiracy - and thus his downfall seems more plausible. "Truman Capote as servant of Yog Sothoth" was how I pictured him.
Of course, there's also the expected references to classic works of horror (a nice little moment replicates an image from Green Tea by Joseph Sheridan Le Fanu - and there are others), with Arthur Machen's "The White People" the primary touchstone. That may seem like an odd choice as the power of that tale comes from the observation and inculcation of ancient cultic/occultic practices as filtered through the language and worldview of a young girl - and any explication of those ominous mysteries might serve to undermine them rather than elevate them. And yet Klein does a good job with these mystery cult practices, making them symbolic and resonant without rendering them too formulated and deterministic.
Really, this is an essentially flawed but sometimes rewarding work - perhaps showing that Klein just didn't have it in him to commit to the novel structure in a satisfying way. He does a very good job with landscape and environment description, bringing the setting to life through repetition and attention to varied details. There's also some nice grace notes - Sarr Poroth's long description of his one and only visit to New York City (Manhattan sketched in realistic but cold and brutal terms as viewed by a deeply religious man) is very powerful - this scene is followed by the initial encounter with and discussion about the mysterious, Tarot-like "Dynod" deck, with its ominous and unnerving (yet oddly simple) imagery. And the whole sequence culminates in a fitful night of creepy and evocative nocturnal trance actions which cause time itself to "slip a groove". I also enjoyed the sequence with Carol at her dance class, as her fellow students unwittingly fall under the sway of the folk-magic dance she's been taught.
But there's also missed opportunities - the ending feels rushed and I thought that more would be made of such magical/psychological training as the visualization and "what if" games - it seemed likely they would figure into the climax, allowing the evil an opportunity to manifest in a more powerful form, but such was not to be.
I think if you're a casual reader of horror you could probably pass on THE CEREMONIES and not miss much (although you really should read "Poroth Farm") but if the Machen aspects, or just an interest in Klein's work intrigues you, you wouldn't be wasting your time by giving it a go, either. Neither the "modern classic" proclaimed by Thomas F. Monteleone nor the abysmal failure proclaimed by some here on Goodreads - the book does have its rewards, but also its longueurs. Proceed with caution... and keep the bug spray handy.
February 6, 2024
Dread is a word you don't see used much in association with horror fiction any more. And it's a shame, because used properly, slow building dread can be more horrific than any gore or bloodletting.
Fortunately, there are writers who understand this, and one of the best examples can be found in THE CEREMONIES, which starts slow, gets slower, but accumulates dread along the way like a wool suit collecting cat hairs. And it's a marvel of timing, precision and skill, with its cast of great characters all circling around the central motifs, each of them catching glimpses of the whole but none completely understanding what they are being shown, or why.
It's also a remarkably timeless book. It was written before laptops, before cellphones and email, but by setting it mostly in a remote rural farmscape, it feels older still, and its throwbacks to genre giants like Lovecraft and Machen in particular seem to root it even farther back in time again.
The slow build, taking care and attention to let us get to know, if not like, the main characters, gives their respective fates at the climax emotional resonance, and a depth thats often lacking in fiction in the field.
The writing itself is rich and lyrical, the handling of viewpoint and control of pacing is expertly done, and the book is one of the wonders of modern weird fiction.
It's a shame Klein hasn't produced more over the years, but kudos to PS Publishing for the fine new paperback edition I read this in, which is a lovely piece of packaging for a book that deserves to be showcased.
Watch this review read by me on YouTube
Fortunately, there are writers who understand this, and one of the best examples can be found in THE CEREMONIES, which starts slow, gets slower, but accumulates dread along the way like a wool suit collecting cat hairs. And it's a marvel of timing, precision and skill, with its cast of great characters all circling around the central motifs, each of them catching glimpses of the whole but none completely understanding what they are being shown, or why.
It's also a remarkably timeless book. It was written before laptops, before cellphones and email, but by setting it mostly in a remote rural farmscape, it feels older still, and its throwbacks to genre giants like Lovecraft and Machen in particular seem to root it even farther back in time again.
The slow build, taking care and attention to let us get to know, if not like, the main characters, gives their respective fates at the climax emotional resonance, and a depth thats often lacking in fiction in the field.
The writing itself is rich and lyrical, the handling of viewpoint and control of pacing is expertly done, and the book is one of the wonders of modern weird fiction.
It's a shame Klein hasn't produced more over the years, but kudos to PS Publishing for the fine new paperback edition I read this in, which is a lovely piece of packaging for a book that deserves to be showcased.
Watch this review read by me on YouTube
February 25, 2009
Next time I'm at a wedding reception, I want to give the groom a copy of The Ceremonies. I'd like to say something clever like, "I hope you end up happier than the couples in this book." I try to do things like that at weddings. It's worth it, because I am always out of the running for being a godparent later, which is like money in my pocket at Easter and Christmas. Did you know that if you "speak now" at a wedding ceremony the couple isn't required to take 24 hours or anything to reconsider? In fact, everyone kind of shuns you afterward. And it isn't the good kind of shunning either. (Someone actually slashed my tires at the reception later, which was probably a blessing in disguise, as I was in no condition to drive home. Though sleeping in the back of my car was no picnic either.) Too many people are in a hurry to get married. Everyone should read The Ceremonies before they take the leap.
December 31, 2013
This book was a slow burn, but when it finally got to the action, it went out with a Bang! Klein took his time with the build up. He fleshed out the characters with detail. I was truly attached to Jeremy and the Poroths. Their ways were really similar to Harvest Home by Thomas Tryon. I loved how Jeremy studied his collection of books. My tbr list definitely grew with his vintage and classic taste, though i believe he was doing it for his class. The ending was great! I was saddened by the demise of some of the characters, but it was an intense, satisfying ending. Filled with myths, folklore, and superstition you won't be dissapointed if you have an earnest interest. Can't wait to dig into Dark Gods!
June 29, 2018
A big, dull plodding novel from the era of epic-length horror works, T.E.D. Klein’s The Ceremonies is frustratingly evasive and off-putting. And while I could forgive a slow pace (some of my favorite books are slower than this), this thing is filled with unlikable, unmemorable characters. The main character, Jeremy, is especially grating as he’s so cynical and bratty.
The only thing this book has going for it is its atmosphere: Klein renders the feeling of living off the beaten path, so to speak, in a non-technological village quite successfully. I often felt I was there, in the story. It’s just unfortunate everything else is boring and predictable, and NOT SCARY.
I’ve heard Klein’s collection of novellas is better. I will try that.
The only thing this book has going for it is its atmosphere: Klein renders the feeling of living off the beaten path, so to speak, in a non-technological village quite successfully. I often felt I was there, in the story. It’s just unfortunate everything else is boring and predictable, and NOT SCARY.
I’ve heard Klein’s collection of novellas is better. I will try that.
September 24, 2012
I'm probably risking heresy by saying this: but even though I loved it, and gave it five stars, it did drag a little at the end. Because it becomes very clear what's going to happen. But still, filled with wonderful substance.
July 5, 2021
Having read it for the second time, and having also read "The White People" by Arthur Machen, which apparently has a great influence on this work, I'm correcting my previous rating to 5 stars. I liked it even more on my second read.
August 10, 2013
This is the best "Lovecraftian" novel I've read. The first third of the book is rather slow, some parts feel like they could have been discarded, but Klein establishes a good sense of place and slow-building atmosphere. He doesn't try to scare us much to start with, but later when he wants to he does an excellent good job of it while maintaining more subtlety than most modern horror. Some scenes are quite scary; the "old woman in the elevator" scene, the "rose with teeth" dream sequence and many others which become more numerous as the story goes along. And this is coming from a person who loves horror, but is pretty jaded and rarely unnerved by a book.
The story takes place in two primary locales, the small New Jersey village of Gilead and New York -- the parts in the city are often less interesting and the novel at times has a sense of the urban vs. the rural. I thought the dialogue was decent, and the story flows well, it’s not full of eloquent Victorian language like Poe or Lovecraft and frankly a few phrases here and there feel a bit ‘novice,’ but it flows well in a comfortable way and it’s fun to read. I found myself wishing I could just go on reading it even when I really needed to go to bed (a sign of a really good book). I cared about the characters too, I found myself feeling bad when, lets just say bad stuff happens to some of them.
The story gives us many points of view from the characters. The journal of Jeremy gives us those moments where we want to say “the monster is behind you!” but he doesn’t connect the dots to know what's going on. In fact, everyone remains ignorant of what's really going on until the very end. This is a very Lovecraftian tale with references to "gibbous moons" and "dhols" and other things. The story has a lot of folklore and superstitions, as well as references to classic horror stories and novels (most of which I found I'd read). Reading the critiques of the novels is pretty interesting as well. One of the few horror novels I could see myself re-reading.
The overall arch of the story is pretty simple. Jeremy is a New York college professor who meets a librarian named Carol. They have an immediate attraction to one another, but Jeremy has decided to spend the summer in the country. He rents a small cottage on the land of the Poroth's in a deeply-religious village which lives by the "old ways." Meanwhile in the city Carol is offered a researching job by an old man who calls himself Rosie. It quickly becomes apparent that Rosie is hardly as harmless as he seems; he's trying to get both Carol into an ancient ceremony that will summon up an evil which will destroy the earth. Back in the country Jeremy tries to adjust to country living and a mounting sense of unease and terror (I won't give away more than that!)
The story takes place in two primary locales, the small New Jersey village of Gilead and New York -- the parts in the city are often less interesting and the novel at times has a sense of the urban vs. the rural. I thought the dialogue was decent, and the story flows well, it’s not full of eloquent Victorian language like Poe or Lovecraft and frankly a few phrases here and there feel a bit ‘novice,’ but it flows well in a comfortable way and it’s fun to read. I found myself wishing I could just go on reading it even when I really needed to go to bed (a sign of a really good book). I cared about the characters too, I found myself feeling bad when, lets just say bad stuff happens to some of them.
The story gives us many points of view from the characters. The journal of Jeremy gives us those moments where we want to say “the monster is behind you!” but he doesn’t connect the dots to know what's going on. In fact, everyone remains ignorant of what's really going on until the very end. This is a very Lovecraftian tale with references to "gibbous moons" and "dhols" and other things. The story has a lot of folklore and superstitions, as well as references to classic horror stories and novels (most of which I found I'd read). Reading the critiques of the novels is pretty interesting as well. One of the few horror novels I could see myself re-reading.
The overall arch of the story is pretty simple. Jeremy is a New York college professor who meets a librarian named Carol. They have an immediate attraction to one another, but Jeremy has decided to spend the summer in the country. He rents a small cottage on the land of the Poroth's in a deeply-religious village which lives by the "old ways." Meanwhile in the city Carol is offered a researching job by an old man who calls himself Rosie. It quickly becomes apparent that Rosie is hardly as harmless as he seems; he's trying to get both Carol into an ancient ceremony that will summon up an evil which will destroy the earth. Back in the country Jeremy tries to adjust to country living and a mounting sense of unease and terror (I won't give away more than that!)
March 6, 2009
This is one of the greatest horror novels ever. In the midst of frightening us, the author also serves up a clever crash course in the history of the gothic novel of horror. Brilliant, since we are in the midst of one. It's a long, dark book, not perfect. (that woulkd be dull.) Easy to find for a pittance.
June 6, 2011
2,5 stars. "The Ceremonies" start with great promise, only to end up in a wildly unsatysfying way. Klein weaves a well-enough tale of a rural community, completely severed from the outside world, where everyone knows everyone and all day the Lord's praises are sung. To this community comes a young man named Jeremy Freis, who's preparing his dissertation and is getting ready for teaching a class on Gothic literature. Klein is obviously an expert in the field, and often quotes and references authors famous and those that are less well known. The atmosphere is vividly detailed, and one can almost hear the crickets and see the moths battling with the windowscreen. And to add to all this, there's a separate plot where an extreme evil is getting ready to reign once again....
Sounds good? It does, until you realize that he's going absolutely nowhere with it. As the pages go by and the plot thickens, you notice that the novel starts behaving like a flat tyre; the atmosphere keeps evaporating faster and faster, and the fewer pages left, the more absurdly predictable it becomes. This is one sweet gigantic buildup to a climax that never happens, and then it's over on ten pages. I've read that it's an expansion on a short story, so my advice is to read that one instead.
Sounds good? It does, until you realize that he's going absolutely nowhere with it. As the pages go by and the plot thickens, you notice that the novel starts behaving like a flat tyre; the atmosphere keeps evaporating faster and faster, and the fewer pages left, the more absurdly predictable it becomes. This is one sweet gigantic buildup to a climax that never happens, and then it's over on ten pages. I've read that it's an expansion on a short story, so my advice is to read that one instead.
Read
April 22, 2017the cover of this british edition just sucks shit, it quite kills my appetite to reading this awesome book, not the torch-burninglike bald head, not the sutra chanting posture, it's the large piece of ass comment on the front, even if it's from stephen king
December 31, 2010
This is the first work I've read by Klein. His writing & storytelling has impressed me so much in this book alone, and overall, that he has now become a fave author in *my* book. Klein's work in this book is remarkably impressive and intensely spellbinding. I intend to eagerly read *everything* Klein has published and have already checked out his other books available through inter-library loans, "Dark Gods" and "Reassuring Tales". I highly doubt I'll be disappointed with either of them. "The Ceremonies" is *highly* worthy of any reader's time & leisure, whether they be fans of the book's genre or not. Klein was BORN to weave & create through writ, born to WRITE. =-) Thank You *very* much for sharing your talent, T.E.D. Klein, for I am one appreciative admirer.
September 1, 2007
I used to think that horror novel was an oxymoron, then I read The Ceremonies. It has Lovecraftian atmosphere and dread that builds in tiny increments. If you hesitate to commit to a 500 page novel, see if you can track down a copy of Klein's Dark Gods - four novellas that pack a punch.
July 20, 2014
I first read The Ceremonies in the 80s over a long humid Michigan summer, and it suited my aspiring student mindset, and inspired the writing mind too. The horror genre is filled with aspiring pupils (I count myself as one of them, and for a long time now). Klein is a bit of a mystery himself, having only produced this one novel and then going deep into secluded woods, disappearing from the horror world like a bursting sun strong enough to only produce light during the 80s decade. This is a signature work in the horror field---circular like the ouroboros mentioned within the story---that shows how the greats of the past influenced the creation of The Ceremonies. The main character takes a summer off to study the old masters in the horror genre, referencing Lovecraft and Machen, and other obscure talents, sprinkling this trivia throughout, adding to the sense of doom that pervades the lovely prose. Having just finished a second reading of The Ceremonies, I am thrilled beyond measure. More details bloomed that I missed in the first close reading. The characters also blossomed, became three-dimensional. There are ceremonies to learn, and more evil doers plan these ceremonies, and have been planning them for decades, eons. Once more, alignment of supernatural forces and planetary movements form a background in a fully described, almost idle, farm community that will remind readers of the insular towns of Harvest Home, The Wicker Man, and Shirley Jackson's The Lottery. Klein's descriptions are fully sensual, from the fat bees, spiders, worms, and other animals that come to life, to the smells, the rot and decay that resides alongside flora, beauty, perfumes, this created world leads the reader along as if caught in a summer daydream while meditating on the banks of a deeply wooded stream. The horror elements are shocking, and crude, a welcome jolt when these moments pop up, and the fervor of the townspeople adds to the creepy atmosphere. Find a used copy wherever you can since this book hasn't been updated to kindle or rereleased by the publisher. Watch out for Lammas night!
October 27, 2016
Well, I've finally met the great T.E.D Klein, an author who's gained a transcendent cult status in the horror community by being awesome for a couple years and then vanishing from the face of the Earth. Was it worth it? Kind of. THE CEREMONIES is a fun novel, but it's a BIIIIIG and SLOOOOOW 19th century-like tanker of a book. It threw me off a little bit. It requires a lot of patience and involvement for characters and themes that may or may not seem overplayed with a thirty years perspective and a bull-bloom resurgence of cosmic horror ongoing. Sarr Poroth was my man through and through in this book. Jeremy was a classic Weird fiction protagonist, seeeking enlightenment, but Poroth was really the showstopper in THE CEREMONIES. A man tormented like a Satanic Abraham. Now THAT'S scary. I don't want to get into it too much because I will expand on these ideas tomorrow on Dead End Follies but THE CEREMONIES is a LITTLE dated yet highly enjoyable still.
November 16, 2016
¡Uy! Casi 5 estrellas.
Llevaba tiempo buscando este libro en el mercado de 2º mano a un precio asequible. Lo encontré pero algo deteriorado. Daba igual, mas terror causaría leerlo así.
Lo buscaba por la simple razón de estar considerado uno de los libros más terroríficos, y de los que acompañaban a: “La habitación de Naomi”, “the Ring”, “El canto del Cisne”, “Aquí vive el horror”. Esos libros de culto difíciles de encontrar.
Me he encontrado terror, así es. Un chico busca un lugar tranquilo para hacer un estudio de las novelas góticas (muchos referencias nos dan a estas). Lo encuentra en un pueblo retrogrado, que viven como en el siglo XIX, en una familia extraña que alquila su gallinero (único sitio acondicionado con luz eléctrica). Comenzara sus lecturas, mientras a su alrededor comenzara a suceder fenómenos paranormales. La vida de él nos la narrara en 1º y 2º persona.
En otro lugar un anciano recorrerá lugares moviendo cabos para que algo suceda. Este anciano tuvo una conversación con un ser antediluviano cuando era joven, en un frondoso bosque.
Por otro lado tenemos la chica solitaria, perdida, estudiosa y deseosa de amor. Que se relacionara con nuestro protagonista por los libros.
Klein escribe de maravilla. Ambienta muy bien los lugares, algo fundamental en el terror. Y maneja los personajes con soltura dándoles mucha realidad. Por Dios queridas editoriales, hacer tiradas de estos autores olvidados de culto (Peter Straub, James Herbert…) Es muy barato reeditarlos y podéis hacerlo por medio de crowdfunding para asegurar no tener perdidas.
Llevaba tiempo buscando este libro en el mercado de 2º mano a un precio asequible. Lo encontré pero algo deteriorado. Daba igual, mas terror causaría leerlo así.
Lo buscaba por la simple razón de estar considerado uno de los libros más terroríficos, y de los que acompañaban a: “La habitación de Naomi”, “the Ring”, “El canto del Cisne”, “Aquí vive el horror”. Esos libros de culto difíciles de encontrar.
Me he encontrado terror, así es. Un chico busca un lugar tranquilo para hacer un estudio de las novelas góticas (muchos referencias nos dan a estas). Lo encuentra en un pueblo retrogrado, que viven como en el siglo XIX, en una familia extraña que alquila su gallinero (único sitio acondicionado con luz eléctrica). Comenzara sus lecturas, mientras a su alrededor comenzara a suceder fenómenos paranormales. La vida de él nos la narrara en 1º y 2º persona.
En otro lugar un anciano recorrerá lugares moviendo cabos para que algo suceda. Este anciano tuvo una conversación con un ser antediluviano cuando era joven, en un frondoso bosque.
Por otro lado tenemos la chica solitaria, perdida, estudiosa y deseosa de amor. Que se relacionara con nuestro protagonista por los libros.
Klein escribe de maravilla. Ambienta muy bien los lugares, algo fundamental en el terror. Y maneja los personajes con soltura dándoles mucha realidad. Por Dios queridas editoriales, hacer tiradas de estos autores olvidados de culto (Peter Straub, James Herbert…) Es muy barato reeditarlos y podéis hacerlo por medio de crowdfunding para asegurar no tener perdidas.
March 8, 2012
There are two significant problems with this:
The first is that Carol's storyline is repetitive, with sequence after sequence boiling down
to . I kept expecting the pattern to be a set up for a clever subversion, with Carol resisting the role that she is being forced into. That never happens.
The second is that making the antagonist of a cosmic horror story a point-of-view character puts the writer at an enormous disadvantage when it comes to producing terror. Klein, while a skilled and precise craftsman, lacks the kind of genius it would take to overcome this handicap.
The first is that Carol's storyline is repetitive, with sequence after sequence boiling down
to . I kept expecting the pattern to be a set up for a clever subversion, with Carol resisting the role that she is being forced into. That never happens.
The second is that making the antagonist of a cosmic horror story a point-of-view character puts the writer at an enormous disadvantage when it comes to producing terror. Klein, while a skilled and precise craftsman, lacks the kind of genius it would take to overcome this handicap.
October 20, 2024
I read this book when it was first published in paperback; it was a random purchase and turned out to be the best horror novel I have ever read. I love the theme of isolated places with weird goings-on and this certainly filled the bill there. The Lovecraftian monster and his evil minion were quite chilling. I also liked the gothicism of Jeremy's summer reading list; it served as an excellent undertone during the incidents at Poroth farm, and reading the entries from his journal created a sense of uneasiness. Overall excellent.
September 24, 2020
Klein was known mainly for his short stories, but he produced a doozy of a novel here-- a modern Lovecraftian Gothic experience that slowly burns hotter and hotter until the conclusion. The story centers on Jeremy Freirs, a graduate student of literature in NYC who needs a quite place to finish his dissertation and finds a seemingly ideal spot in the small town of Gilead, NJ.
Gilead is comprised of an off-shoot Mennonite sect who call themselves 'the breathen', who eschew electricity and are largely hard working farmers straight out of the 18th century. No phones, and very little contact with the outside world. Jeremy's hosts, the Poroths, have recently bought a run down farm and are making a go of it, albeit heavily in debt. After renovating a former chicken coup to a small apartment (with electricity!) they hope to find a lodger to help raise a little money. Jeremy finds the ad at a small library in NYC, and after a short visit, decides that Gilead and the Poroth's spread will be an ideal getaway for the summer. Just before he leaves, he meets Carol, who works at the library; she is a farm girl from Pennsylvania who only recently moved the NYC.
Along side this fairly normal tale, we have the machinations of the 'old one', 'Rosie', a servant of some strange but evil creature who found its way to Earth thousands of years ago. As a small child, Rosie found a strange glade in a nearby swamp in Gilead, and in the strange glade, perched upon a stricken cottonwood tree, he found and communicated with the evil creature. For the evil creature to live anew, and rend the Earth of the plague of humanity, certain ceremonies have to be enacted. Little does Jeremy and Carol know, but they are simply pawns in a much larger game. The first we learn of this concerns the actual ad for the Poroth's apartment-- Deborah placed it on a cork board in a small town next to Gilead, but Jeremy finds it in NYC, much to the confusion of the Poroths themselves.
While Jeremy moves to Gilead, Carol is offered a research job by Rosie that seems too good to be true, and it pays very well. Rosie, although very old (we soon learn over 100 years old in fact) wines and dines her, all the while enticing her into a variety of seemingly harmless ceremonies, each of which comprises a book within the novel. As the novel slowly unfolds, the ceremonies become more complex, and various omens and portents become visible in Gilead for those with the ability to read them, such as Portoth's mother, who quickly becomes another POV in the story...
The Ceremonies almost defines a slow-burn horror story, but Klein does an excellent job building tension along with well rounded characters and Gilead's tight-knit religious society. Carol, the naive young women is manipulated carefully by Rosie while Jeremy confronts various people in Gilead who are hostile to his 'big city ways' and his lack of belief. The Portoths, almost outsiders themselves, also receive some suspicious scrutiny; Sarr, the husband got himself some college education and his wife Deborah, hales from another breathen community.
The Ceremonies is on the one hand a classic small town horror story, with an ancient evil there that has the power to upend the world as we know it. The Gothic underpinnings are also in much evidence, however, and Jeremy's dissertation itself is on Gothic horror, so we find an almost endless name-dropping of Gothic horror stories and authors.
Definitely a classic in the horror genre, and Klein's magnum opus to be sure. Be warned, however, that this book puts the slow in slow-burn. 4.5 stars!
Gilead is comprised of an off-shoot Mennonite sect who call themselves 'the breathen', who eschew electricity and are largely hard working farmers straight out of the 18th century. No phones, and very little contact with the outside world. Jeremy's hosts, the Poroths, have recently bought a run down farm and are making a go of it, albeit heavily in debt. After renovating a former chicken coup to a small apartment (with electricity!) they hope to find a lodger to help raise a little money. Jeremy finds the ad at a small library in NYC, and after a short visit, decides that Gilead and the Poroth's spread will be an ideal getaway for the summer. Just before he leaves, he meets Carol, who works at the library; she is a farm girl from Pennsylvania who only recently moved the NYC.
Along side this fairly normal tale, we have the machinations of the 'old one', 'Rosie', a servant of some strange but evil creature who found its way to Earth thousands of years ago. As a small child, Rosie found a strange glade in a nearby swamp in Gilead, and in the strange glade, perched upon a stricken cottonwood tree, he found and communicated with the evil creature. For the evil creature to live anew, and rend the Earth of the plague of humanity, certain ceremonies have to be enacted. Little does Jeremy and Carol know, but they are simply pawns in a much larger game. The first we learn of this concerns the actual ad for the Poroth's apartment-- Deborah placed it on a cork board in a small town next to Gilead, but Jeremy finds it in NYC, much to the confusion of the Poroths themselves.
While Jeremy moves to Gilead, Carol is offered a research job by Rosie that seems too good to be true, and it pays very well. Rosie, although very old (we soon learn over 100 years old in fact) wines and dines her, all the while enticing her into a variety of seemingly harmless ceremonies, each of which comprises a book within the novel. As the novel slowly unfolds, the ceremonies become more complex, and various omens and portents become visible in Gilead for those with the ability to read them, such as Portoth's mother, who quickly becomes another POV in the story...
The Ceremonies almost defines a slow-burn horror story, but Klein does an excellent job building tension along with well rounded characters and Gilead's tight-knit religious society. Carol, the naive young women is manipulated carefully by Rosie while Jeremy confronts various people in Gilead who are hostile to his 'big city ways' and his lack of belief. The Portoths, almost outsiders themselves, also receive some suspicious scrutiny; Sarr, the husband got himself some college education and his wife Deborah, hales from another breathen community.
The Ceremonies is on the one hand a classic small town horror story, with an ancient evil there that has the power to upend the world as we know it. The Gothic underpinnings are also in much evidence, however, and Jeremy's dissertation itself is on Gothic horror, so we find an almost endless name-dropping of Gothic horror stories and authors.
Definitely a classic in the horror genre, and Klein's magnum opus to be sure. Be warned, however, that this book puts the slow in slow-burn. 4.5 stars!
February 8, 2016
I just finished The Ceremonies by Ted Klein. It is clearly a novel that has earned its reputation as one of the finest works of Cosmic Horror ever written. It has its faults, the ending seemed rushed and a little incongruent with the rest of the book, but this book makes up for its faults in spades.
This is a dense read, that doesn't mind taking trips into minutia, and gets very meta with its constant references to Machen's The White People, making that tale a part of the story itself, as well as constant mentions of authors and their works that are now considered canon for The Weird and the Cosmic, much in the manner that Lovecraft did in his storytelling.
I could go on and on about this one, it's one of those books that you kick yourself for not reading twenty years ago, and I promise you this; there are many books in the genre that don't measure up to their hype. This is not one of them. Buy it and read it now.
This is a dense read, that doesn't mind taking trips into minutia, and gets very meta with its constant references to Machen's The White People, making that tale a part of the story itself, as well as constant mentions of authors and their works that are now considered canon for The Weird and the Cosmic, much in the manner that Lovecraft did in his storytelling.
I could go on and on about this one, it's one of those books that you kick yourself for not reading twenty years ago, and I promise you this; there are many books in the genre that don't measure up to their hype. This is not one of them. Buy it and read it now.
August 1, 2008
An excellent novel. I really wish Klein would have written more.
April 28, 2019
Ugh.
I read The Events at Poroth Farm in the Cthulhu Mythos Megapack about a year ago. That novella, commonly known to be the jumping-off point for The Ceremonies, is an engrossing, chilling little number that uses the journal form to good effect in portraying the insidious approach of some unknown evil. The characters are sympathetic and, though you're not with them for long, you feel genuine concern when the evil catches up to them.
Not so for The Ceremonies.
The main character, Jeremy Freirs, is a lazy, repugnant man who, quite frankly, thinks with his penis for the majority of the book. Klein never makes the jump to making Freirs a full-blown antihero, and with him framed as the everyman this sleaziness leaves a very bitter aftertaste.
The female protagonist, Carol, is just as bad but errs on the side of pliability more than anything else. As much as with Jeremy, Klein could have done more with the character to explain her constant coercion, but in the end I just felt she was a bit of a drip.
The Poroths of Poroth Farm I feel we don't get enough time with and, given what happens to them, this is a shame.
The other characters are not memorable.
Stick with the novella!
I read The Events at Poroth Farm in the Cthulhu Mythos Megapack about a year ago. That novella, commonly known to be the jumping-off point for The Ceremonies, is an engrossing, chilling little number that uses the journal form to good effect in portraying the insidious approach of some unknown evil. The characters are sympathetic and, though you're not with them for long, you feel genuine concern when the evil catches up to them.
Not so for The Ceremonies.
The main character, Jeremy Freirs, is a lazy, repugnant man who, quite frankly, thinks with his penis for the majority of the book. Klein never makes the jump to making Freirs a full-blown antihero, and with him framed as the everyman this sleaziness leaves a very bitter aftertaste.
The female protagonist, Carol, is just as bad but errs on the side of pliability more than anything else. As much as with Jeremy, Klein could have done more with the character to explain her constant coercion, but in the end I just felt she was a bit of a drip.
The Poroths of Poroth Farm I feel we don't get enough time with and, given what happens to them, this is a shame.
The other characters are not memorable.
Stick with the novella!
August 14, 2019
Billed as one of those “hard to find” horror classics of the 80’s by a little-known “Grandmaster of Horror” I was underwhelmed by this novel. It was adequate which is probably something that’s not much of a compliment for such a book. Not bad. But not great and probably not even good. Just adequate. Not real scary and kind of corny honestly. All that being said, his out-of-print “masterpiece” Dark Gods (which I just recently got a near fine copy of) is still on my TBR list.
August 12, 2024
Classic 1980s horror (expanded from a 1974 novella, "The Events at Poroth Farm") by an author who sadly really hasn't written a whole lot else since -- there was one contemporary story collection (Dark Gods) and another collection in 2006, but really, that's been about it, which is a shame, because Klein really is a very good author.
The Ceremonies is one of the better examples I've read of novel-length Lovecraftian fiction -- mostly because Klein is taking inspiration from Lovecraft's vibe and worldview, not just regurgitating pages of Cthulhu Necronomicon whoops tentacles just ate your head.
Jeremy Friers, a nebbishy New York academic working on a thesis about weird fiction, decides that he needs to get away from it all to focus on his studies, so he rents a guest cabin (well, a very recently converted chicken coop) from Sarr and Deborah Poroth near the town of Gilead, NJ. (Although when the Poroths posted their rental notice, they certainly didn't post it on a library bulletin board all the way in New York City ...)
The Poroths are members of the Brethren (as is the entire community of Gilead), one of those religious groups that views the Mennonites and Amish as a little too soft and modern, although the guest house has been electrified and they do occasionally listen to radios &c.; and Jeremy, as the outsider from the godless city is viewed with not a little suspicion by pretty much everybody except the Poroths. And the Poroths' farm (which they've newly taken possession of after it lay fallow for some years) is right up next to some suitably creepy New Jersey swampy forests in which unspeakable events have taken place and may be taking place again.
Also in the mix: Carol Conklin, a librarian Jeremy meets just as he's getting ready to leave the city, and Aloysius Rosebottom, the scholarly and mysterious, charming old gentleman who engineers Jeremy & Carol's meet-cute (and is there more to him than meets the eye? well, yes).
As mentioned, this is Klein very much working in a Lovecraftian vein -- the story's DNA seemed to contain equal parts "The Colour Out of Space" and "The Dunwich Horror" at times, but with some of those things that good ol' HPL never quite seemed to have a grasp on, like actual characters and actual dialogue.
Happily, after many years of undeserved unavailability, The Ceremonies is now back in print, and if you like that kind of 80s die-cut cover paperback horror, you could do much worse.
The Ceremonies is one of the better examples I've read of novel-length Lovecraftian fiction -- mostly because Klein is taking inspiration from Lovecraft's vibe and worldview, not just regurgitating pages of Cthulhu Necronomicon whoops tentacles just ate your head.
Jeremy Friers, a nebbishy New York academic working on a thesis about weird fiction, decides that he needs to get away from it all to focus on his studies, so he rents a guest cabin (well, a very recently converted chicken coop) from Sarr and Deborah Poroth near the town of Gilead, NJ. (Although when the Poroths posted their rental notice, they certainly didn't post it on a library bulletin board all the way in New York City ...)
The Poroths are members of the Brethren (as is the entire community of Gilead), one of those religious groups that views the Mennonites and Amish as a little too soft and modern, although the guest house has been electrified and they do occasionally listen to radios &c.; and Jeremy, as the outsider from the godless city is viewed with not a little suspicion by pretty much everybody except the Poroths. And the Poroths' farm (which they've newly taken possession of after it lay fallow for some years) is right up next to some suitably creepy New Jersey swampy forests in which unspeakable events have taken place and may be taking place again.
Also in the mix: Carol Conklin, a librarian Jeremy meets just as he's getting ready to leave the city, and Aloysius Rosebottom, the scholarly and mysterious, charming old gentleman who engineers Jeremy & Carol's meet-cute (and is there more to him than meets the eye? well, yes).
As mentioned, this is Klein very much working in a Lovecraftian vein -- the story's DNA seemed to contain equal parts "The Colour Out of Space" and "The Dunwich Horror" at times, but with some of those things that good ol' HPL never quite seemed to have a grasp on, like actual characters and actual dialogue.
Happily, after many years of undeserved unavailability, The Ceremonies is now back in print, and if you like that kind of 80s die-cut cover paperback horror, you could do much worse.
September 18, 2021
HP Lovecraft and Arthur Machen had a weird, twisted, snake-like baby that is this book. The main character's work on gothic and horror fiction is itself a class on the history of the genre, which is satisfying to read. Yet, it's hard to care about a protagonist who thinks things like this: "Deborah ... was cleaning up in here when we arrived, on her knees scrubbing the floor. Something curiously erotic about a woman in that position, exerting herself while you're at your ease." Ugh. He also talks shit about Shirley Jackson.
In general, the politics are of their time and therefore difficult, and the characters sometimes shift to fit the roles they are supposed to play (e.g., women getting randomly bitchy when they showed no sign of being so before).
Lastly, you would think that someone who is so well-versed in the literature of the supernatural would recognize some of the supernatural events occurring around him, or at least comment on how similar these things feel to the books he's reading? Is that a comment on the uselessness of academia? Still, there are truly creepy things in here, which have since become tropes of the genre. So, ups and downs. Recommended for horror fans.
In general, the politics are of their time and therefore difficult, and the characters sometimes shift to fit the roles they are supposed to play (e.g., women getting randomly bitchy when they showed no sign of being so before).
Lastly, you would think that someone who is so well-versed in the literature of the supernatural would recognize some of the supernatural events occurring around him, or at least comment on how similar these things feel to the books he's reading? Is that a comment on the uselessness of academia? Still, there are truly creepy things in here, which have since become tropes of the genre. So, ups and downs. Recommended for horror fans.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
March 17, 2019
It's unfortunate that "The Ceremonies" is T.E.D. Klein's only full-length novel. This book left me wanting more from him, and there is, a collection called "Dark Gods", but none of that measures up to this creepy Gothic novel. A grad student decides that staying with a strange Amish-type group in rural New Jersey to work on his dissertation is a good idea, but he has no idea that he is somehow being set up as a pawn for something dark, ancient & monstrous to awaken. This is a novel that may require patience for some, but I read it with complete fascination the very first time & have taken it out & re-read it several times over the years. As I said, too bad this is Klein's only full-length novel, he should have written more.
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