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Behind the Bell
For the first-time, Diamond presents the inside story of the young cast from Saved by the Bell that the viewing public thought were so lucky . . .Learn the dark, behind-the-scenes story of the cast and crew's extreme lifestyle: sex, drugs, and wild partiesPost-Bell, discover how Diamond used his natural comedic talents to overcome being typecast as a child actor and how he reinvented himself through stand-up comedy and reality TV. Working in Hollywood might represent an American Dream, but for many youngsters it is a true nightmare. Dustin Diamond is best known for his character Samuel Screech Powers in the late '80s and '90s on the long-running American TV teen sitcom Saved by the Bell (SBTB). Diamond's new book gives readers the disheartening story of an ex-child star. Dustin faced serious challenges moving his career beyond his comic role as the smart, funny, and endearing nerd of Bayside High School on the show that made him an audience favorite. Through his eyes, we uncover Hollywood's myths.
230 pages, Hardcover
First published September 25, 2009
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April 4, 2013
Obviously, I considered not admitting on Goodreads that I read this book. But, one, I don't like to lie to Goodreads and, two, I actually feel the need to do some justice to this review. (Third, I had to ask for help to find this since it was my first time putting a book on hold at the NYPL (yes, I put it on hold) and the librarian laughed out loud at me so my literary pride was already sorely wounded. I just read Steinbeck, I swear!)
I read this book because I thought it would be funny to hear some behind the scenes SBTB gossip. There is lots of that, but it's hard to know if you can believe any of it. Instead this book made me really, crushingly sad. It's like we as America's pop culture consumers decided to conduct an experiment with a living human subject and it went really, really badly. Hmm, what happens when you take a goofy looking 12 year old and put him in a hit show for a national tv audience where his identity is based on being the constantly ridiculed butt of the joke and then surround him with hot 15 year olds who become the lusted after sex symbols for their generation? Then, let's make sure he is pigeonholed into this role that he will never escape before he hits high school.
What happens is that he it will stunt his development so he is caught in some prepubescent phase where he has no normal relationship to sex, women, friendship or family. He will be incredible crude, bitter, insecure and angry. And there won't be a good way out for him. I was simultaneously disgusted by and heartbroken for Dustin Diamond throughout this book. Aside from his obvious fury for his ex-costars, (He says he isn't sure what they are up to these days. Really? Wikipedia not working?) he has a few throwaway sentences that mention that his mom died of breast cancer when he was 19 and he no longer speaks to his father after he found out that he had blown all the money Diamond made while a minor.
The final layer of palpable tragedy to this book was the ridiculous lack of copy editing. There were constant weird line breaks, repeated paragraphs and EGREGIOUS grammar errors. Clearly, no one else even read the book before sending it off to the printer. They knew it would make its money from ex-fans, get totally panned by critics and quickly be forgotten. THEY DON'T EVEN CARE ENOUGH ABOUT HIM TO EDIT HIS BOOK. That's how happy America is to use and abuse Dustin Diamond. That's how little respect we have for him. He's just our national laughingstock. I hope he has a good therapist. I know I want one after this.
I don't recommend anyone read this book. Seriously, its pretty much weird adolescent references to his penis and boobs with some vague innuendo about other male celebrities gay affiars. (He claims not to have feelings about homosexuality one way or the other but that assertion made me laugh out loud next to his clear paranoia that anyone should think he was gay.) I do recommend that you read this great AV Club review that says what I'm trying to say better. http://www.avclub.com/articles/dustin... (Or read this for a summary of the juicy parts - http://www.11points.com/TV/11_Most_Sc...). But mostly, I just recommend that we all send him an apology letter.
I read this book because I thought it would be funny to hear some behind the scenes SBTB gossip. There is lots of that, but it's hard to know if you can believe any of it. Instead this book made me really, crushingly sad. It's like we as America's pop culture consumers decided to conduct an experiment with a living human subject and it went really, really badly. Hmm, what happens when you take a goofy looking 12 year old and put him in a hit show for a national tv audience where his identity is based on being the constantly ridiculed butt of the joke and then surround him with hot 15 year olds who become the lusted after sex symbols for their generation? Then, let's make sure he is pigeonholed into this role that he will never escape before he hits high school.
What happens is that he it will stunt his development so he is caught in some prepubescent phase where he has no normal relationship to sex, women, friendship or family. He will be incredible crude, bitter, insecure and angry. And there won't be a good way out for him. I was simultaneously disgusted by and heartbroken for Dustin Diamond throughout this book. Aside from his obvious fury for his ex-costars, (He says he isn't sure what they are up to these days. Really? Wikipedia not working?) he has a few throwaway sentences that mention that his mom died of breast cancer when he was 19 and he no longer speaks to his father after he found out that he had blown all the money Diamond made while a minor.
The final layer of palpable tragedy to this book was the ridiculous lack of copy editing. There were constant weird line breaks, repeated paragraphs and EGREGIOUS grammar errors. Clearly, no one else even read the book before sending it off to the printer. They knew it would make its money from ex-fans, get totally panned by critics and quickly be forgotten. THEY DON'T EVEN CARE ENOUGH ABOUT HIM TO EDIT HIS BOOK. That's how happy America is to use and abuse Dustin Diamond. That's how little respect we have for him. He's just our national laughingstock. I hope he has a good therapist. I know I want one after this.
I don't recommend anyone read this book. Seriously, its pretty much weird adolescent references to his penis and boobs with some vague innuendo about other male celebrities gay affiars. (He claims not to have feelings about homosexuality one way or the other but that assertion made me laugh out loud next to his clear paranoia that anyone should think he was gay.) I do recommend that you read this great AV Club review that says what I'm trying to say better. http://www.avclub.com/articles/dustin... (Or read this for a summary of the juicy parts - http://www.11points.com/TV/11_Most_Sc...). But mostly, I just recommend that we all send him an apology letter.
July 17, 2011
This is the life I have chosen for myself.
September 1, 2014
Why I read this book : In case people don't know, there's going to be an unauthorized Saved by the Bell movie coming up this Monday on Lifetime (info here). Yes, I was one of those kids who watched the show faithfully, cheesy as it was. I figured now was a good time to see if I could dig up some dirt before watching a movie about digging up dirt.
1.5 stars. I have to award an extra half point for the speculated insight on Neil Patrick Harris (whether it was true or just a theory is another story). This may be the one and only time in my life where I wish I could Facebook tag someone (Ash, come out of hiding!). But unfortunately, there was too much missed potential.
There wasn't a ton of info dished about the cast. What we did find out lead me to believe that Dustin Diamond is carrying a bit of a hard on for wanting to see his former cast mates fall on their faces.
Other than that, nothing really happened. Diamond got laid a lot. Big deal? Most celebrities can get get laid. I guess he must have felt the need to have to prove that he could, being that he was typecast as a loser for all of those years?
I will give DD some credit for being mildly funny at times. Some of his snarky observations were amusing, but a few good snippets do not make for an entire book of good recap either. Although, I have to admit that I laughed hard when Dustin recalled how the cast members all had their "real-life" talents or interests worked into the show (Tiffany was a former pageant queen, Mario a wrestler, etc.) and this was how Mark was recapped :
I remember that damn phone way too much.
The cast in a nutshell : Tiffani came off as easy, Lark came off as a silent weirdo, Mark Paul was not as much of a womanizer as I would have been expecting, Elizabeth was forever stuck in Tiffani's shadow, Mario was exactly how I figured, and Dustin was the biggest whore of them all.
Fin. I hope the movie is more scandalous!
1.5 stars. I have to award an extra half point for the speculated insight on Neil Patrick Harris (whether it was true or just a theory is another story). This may be the one and only time in my life where I wish I could Facebook tag someone (Ash, come out of hiding!). But unfortunately, there was too much missed potential.
There wasn't a ton of info dished about the cast. What we did find out lead me to believe that Dustin Diamond is carrying a bit of a hard on for wanting to see his former cast mates fall on their faces.
Other than that, nothing really happened. Diamond got laid a lot. Big deal? Most celebrities can get get laid. I guess he must have felt the need to have to prove that he could, being that he was typecast as a loser for all of those years?
I will give DD some credit for being mildly funny at times. Some of his snarky observations were amusing, but a few good snippets do not make for an entire book of good recap either. Although, I have to admit that I laughed hard when Dustin recalled how the cast members all had their "real-life" talents or interests worked into the show (Tiffany was a former pageant queen, Mario a wrestler, etc.) and this was how Mark was recapped :
"Mark-Paul, buddy, can you sing?"
"No."
"Can you dance?"
"No."
"Play sports? Instruments? Can you juggle?"
"No."
"Do you have any interests outside of showing up here and gelling your hair?"
"Um, I do have this cell phone that's the size of a loaf of bread. I like talking into that."
"And so you shall, my boy. And so you shall."
I remember that damn phone way too much.
The cast in a nutshell : Tiffani came off as easy, Lark came off as a silent weirdo, Mark Paul was not as much of a womanizer as I would have been expecting, Elizabeth was forever stuck in Tiffani's shadow, Mario was exactly how I figured, and Dustin was the biggest whore of them all.
Fin. I hope the movie is more scandalous!
January 25, 2011
I didn't really want to read this, as I had heard it was terrible. And not terrible in the "so-bad-it's-good" variety, but just flat out awful. But, Saved By The Bell was a huge part of my life growing up, and I just couldn't resist.
To sum this book up as succinctly as possible: Dustin Diamond is a d!ck. Or excuse me, a "douchebag", which is his favorite word throughout this poorly edited book. (Seriously, the amount of times sentences
did
this
or entire paragraphs were repeated was ridiculous. Too broke to hire an editor?)
Dustin threw his entire cast under the bus in an effort to make himself look like the injured party. "Mark-Paul was a douche, Mario raped women, Tiffani Amber was a slut and a bitch". But then he goes on to say that he has slept with over 2,000 women (um yeah, I doubt that) and that he regularly patrolled Disneyland looking for a quick lay but somehow justifies this as not being the same thing that Mario or Tiffani did. He makes sure not to name any last names of girls he slept with, except for someone who worked on the show that was 20 years older than him. He makes sure to mention her last name over and over and I was thinking "How is he going to get away with this?" Oh and then he tells us - she died a few years ago. I guess that means it's okay to completely tarnish her name and reputation then. Disgusting.
And yes, I realize I could have just stopped reading. But it was like a train wreck I couldn't look away from. I kept wondering how he could get any worse, and then there would be a chapter about "banging chicks" on the set of Bayside.
All in all, Dustin just came out looking like a complete jerk. I'm not one to say if any of his allegations are true or not, but I find it telling that the rest of the cast is still friends today amidst all these stories about them screwing each other and doing drugs together. I think he's just bitter that he was treated as the weird, young friend and not invited into their "cool circle" and threw out whatever he could about them, lies or not.
I'm sure the cast weren't perfect angels, but some of these stories were just ridiculous. I also found it hilarious he continually commented on "Tiffani's fat ass." Really? What guy (or girl for that matter) in the 90s thought Kelly Kapowski was fat? These are the kinds of things he yells out about his co-stars to bring them down, and it's ridiculous statements like this that make the rest of his stories seem so contrived.
The only good things in this book are the mention of Monster Squad and Frank Zappa. But I don't think that awesome movie and that awesome musician should have their names soiled in such a crapfest as this book.
Okay I can't even believe I am still writing about this book. Ugh. I'm done.
To sum this book up as succinctly as possible: Dustin Diamond is a d!ck. Or excuse me, a "douchebag", which is his favorite word throughout this poorly edited book. (Seriously, the amount of times sentences
did
this
or entire paragraphs were repeated was ridiculous. Too broke to hire an editor?)
Dustin threw his entire cast under the bus in an effort to make himself look like the injured party. "Mark-Paul was a douche, Mario raped women, Tiffani Amber was a slut and a bitch". But then he goes on to say that he has slept with over 2,000 women (um yeah, I doubt that) and that he regularly patrolled Disneyland looking for a quick lay but somehow justifies this as not being the same thing that Mario or Tiffani did. He makes sure not to name any last names of girls he slept with, except for someone who worked on the show that was 20 years older than him. He makes sure to mention her last name over and over and I was thinking "How is he going to get away with this?" Oh and then he tells us - she died a few years ago. I guess that means it's okay to completely tarnish her name and reputation then. Disgusting.
And yes, I realize I could have just stopped reading. But it was like a train wreck I couldn't look away from. I kept wondering how he could get any worse, and then there would be a chapter about "banging chicks" on the set of Bayside.
All in all, Dustin just came out looking like a complete jerk. I'm not one to say if any of his allegations are true or not, but I find it telling that the rest of the cast is still friends today amidst all these stories about them screwing each other and doing drugs together. I think he's just bitter that he was treated as the weird, young friend and not invited into their "cool circle" and threw out whatever he could about them, lies or not.
I'm sure the cast weren't perfect angels, but some of these stories were just ridiculous. I also found it hilarious he continually commented on "Tiffani's fat ass." Really? What guy (or girl for that matter) in the 90s thought Kelly Kapowski was fat? These are the kinds of things he yells out about his co-stars to bring them down, and it's ridiculous statements like this that make the rest of his stories seem so contrived.
The only good things in this book are the mention of Monster Squad and Frank Zappa. But I don't think that awesome movie and that awesome musician should have their names soiled in such a crapfest as this book.
Okay I can't even believe I am still writing about this book. Ugh. I'm done.
September 21, 2012
I couldn't help myself. My guilty pleasure... trashy celeb bios! And it was my first one of the year! Someone sent it to me, so I decided to read it. I loved SBTB when I was younger. I heard this book was nothing but trash... but I read it anyway.
I found it to be hilarious! Dustin just complains, whines and brags through the whole book. He is a bitter, bitter man. I do believe that what he says has some truth in it. But he definately paints himself in a more favorable light, which is somewhat unbelievable.
The references to his junk, I could have gone without. And I find it sad that so many girls slept with him just to better their career. How Screech could do that for you, i'm still clueless... but hey... to each their own.
He does a lot of ranting about people who really didn't need to be mentioned. But it was celeb bio trash... so of course I enjoyed it. lol
I didn't hate the book. I didn't love the book. I read it very quickly and couldn't put it down. I wanted to, but I just couldn't look away. Believe me... I tried. His bullshit sucked me in.
I found it to be hilarious! Dustin just complains, whines and brags through the whole book. He is a bitter, bitter man. I do believe that what he says has some truth in it. But he definately paints himself in a more favorable light, which is somewhat unbelievable.
The references to his junk, I could have gone without. And I find it sad that so many girls slept with him just to better their career. How Screech could do that for you, i'm still clueless... but hey... to each their own.
He does a lot of ranting about people who really didn't need to be mentioned. But it was celeb bio trash... so of course I enjoyed it. lol
I didn't hate the book. I didn't love the book. I read it very quickly and couldn't put it down. I wanted to, but I just couldn't look away. Believe me... I tried. His bullshit sucked me in.
July 29, 2012
Judge me, fuck you. It was funny, and I like Saved By The Bell.
March 22, 2021
2021 reads, #6. It was just a couple of months before the writing of this review that the world saw the cancer-caused death of troubled child actor Dustin Diamond, a sad end to a legitimately tragic life and yet one more cautionary tale about the dangers of letting children get involved in the inherently icky world of international celebrity. In the very last interview Diamond did before he died, one of the things he confessed was that he didn't write a single word of his 2009 autobiography Behind the Bell, but rather was forced by his publisher (the now out-of-business Canadian trash peddlers Transit Publishing) to sit down with a ghostwriter for a few days relating anecdotes, and then said ghostwriter went off and just made up a bunch of stuff that never happened and Transit published it without checking any of it with Diamond first. Between his death and that confession, that was just exactly enough to inspire me to check the memoir out of my local library this week, where I found a book so reprehensible as to make one wonder how it can even exist without the people being mentioned in it suing it out of existence.
To be clear, I'm too old to be nostalgic about Saved by the Bell, the children's show that first made Diamond famous -- I was already 19 when it debuted in 1988, and well into my twenties and living my adult life during the '90s when it reached its popular peak -- and so that made my reading of it problematic, because I've never actually watched a single episode of the show (nor its spinoffs, SBTB: The College Years and SBTB: The New Class), so largely didn't get the references to the show's setting, events and cast that largely make up the contents of this book. Then again, you don't really need to know anything about the show to know that Diamond calling his co-star Tiffani-Amber Thiessen a whore literally on page 3 is the very definition of déclassé, and bodes bad tidings for how the rest of the book is to play out.
And indeed, this book is mostly defined by the sheer amount of piss and vinegar Diamond sprays over virtually everyone he's ever met -- Fred Savage is a "douchenozzle;" Neil Patrick Harris an "asshole" (and Ed Alonzo a closeted homosexual who was regularly having secret sex with Harris); Gary Coleman "jaded" and "stuck up;" Jeremy Jackson a "fucking mess;" Corey Haim and Corey Feldman insufferable pricks who considered themselves "God's twin gifts to the Earth;" Mark-Paul Gosselaar a spoiled, preening "Golden Child" who once pissed in the Playboy Mansion grotto; Mario Lopez a "man-whore" and "poon hound" with "saggy old man boobs;" Elizabeth Berkley a "desperate party hound;" Dennis Haskins a "career predator;" not to mention claiming that comedian Martin Lawrence once raped SBTB star Lark Voorhies without having a shred of evidence; and that the aforementioned Thiessen regularly smoked pot on set and had sex with both Gosselaar and Lopez in their dressing rooms immediately after each other. (And mind you, this is while also admitting that Thiessen's parents once selflessly let him and his pets move into their house for months to avoid a stalker.)
And it's not just outrageously negative statements that makes this book so unpleasant: at certain points in the page count, Diamond claims he has an enormous penis (or "meat stick" in his unfortunate particular vernacular) that Berkley was in awe of; has had sex with over 2,000 partners (all of whom he collectively apologizes to at once in the appendix, in an open letter that begins "To all the chicks I banged before"), many of the incidents taking place on the actual SBTB sets and sometimes in his co-stars' dressing rooms; has seen every cast member of SBTB naked at one point or another; used to "bang" 14-year-old girls regularly during live tours (and would also buy an annual pass each year to Disneyland because it was insanely easy to get teenage girls away from their parents there and spend a half-hour fingering them in a dark back corner of the amusement park); had a full-on romantic relationship with 20-years-senior NBC vice president Linda Mancuso when he was a teenager and she was in her thirties (which she can neither confirm nor deny because of conveniently dying six years before this book was written); once received a psychic message the day before he was to meet him that Michael Jackson was a pedophile; regularly improvised lines that made the SBTB writing staff feel threatened because they were so much better than the provided script; was once given a kilo of cocaine by a Cuban drug dealer because SBTB was his daughter's favorite show; received more fan mail than any other SBTB cast member; deliberately delivered terrible performances during SBTB: The New Class in an attempt to ease into adult roles after the show was over (under the justification that if his acting was deliberately over-the-top enough, producers would surely see that he was in on the joke and was actually a talented, serious actor); was the actual person who got the big-screen Hollywood version of Scooby-Doo greenlit, just to get conspiratorially screwed out of the Shaggy role due to secret machinations by Sarah Michelle Gellar and Freddie Prinze Jr.; and was regularly propositioned by most of the show's teenage extras (and would pick out random audience members to have sex with during taping days, in the style of KISS members instructing their roadies to bring girls backstage after shows, for which he refers to himself as a "Super Pimp").
To be clear, Diamond is ultimately the person responsible for Diamond's adult life becoming such a mess -- no one forced him to publish this terrible book, just like no one forced him to star in an amateur adult video, or then try to monetize said video a year later, or appear in such reality shows as Hulk Hogan's Celebrity Championship Wrestling and World's Dumbest..., or be a between-act host at the annual Insane Clown Posse convention "Gathering of the Juggalos," or start a nu-metal band called Salty the Pocketknife, or stab a guy one night inside a Wisconsin dive bar, or any of the other outrageous shenanigans that marked his post-SBTB life. But then again, it's not exactly Diamond's fault that his entire childhood was essentially stolen from him by greedy and amoral adults (including a father who spent nearly every penny Diamond made before he could turn eighteen and legally claim it), leaving him untrained and entirely unprepared for adulthood once he finished puberty and was no longer the cute little kid who owed his entire career to being a cute little kid.
He deserved better than that, and he certainly deserved better than this shoddily produced memoir by this fly-by-night company, which on top of all its other sins is filled with literally hundreds of typos and other grammatical mistakes. (At a certain point, the manuscript spells the Charles Dickens character Bob Cratchit as "Bob Crach It," and on three separate occasions it refers to craft services as "Kraft Service," as if all food given out on Hollywood sets is actually prepared by the Kraft corporation.) What was merely a horrible book while Diamond was alive becomes a crime against humanity now that he's dead; and no matter what kind of a human monster he was (and he was demonstrably a pretty horrible monster, make no mistake), nobody deserves the kind of hatchet job this exploitation piece does on both him and everyone he ever knew. It comes with a strong hate-read recommendation in this spirit.
To be clear, I'm too old to be nostalgic about Saved by the Bell, the children's show that first made Diamond famous -- I was already 19 when it debuted in 1988, and well into my twenties and living my adult life during the '90s when it reached its popular peak -- and so that made my reading of it problematic, because I've never actually watched a single episode of the show (nor its spinoffs, SBTB: The College Years and SBTB: The New Class), so largely didn't get the references to the show's setting, events and cast that largely make up the contents of this book. Then again, you don't really need to know anything about the show to know that Diamond calling his co-star Tiffani-Amber Thiessen a whore literally on page 3 is the very definition of déclassé, and bodes bad tidings for how the rest of the book is to play out.
And indeed, this book is mostly defined by the sheer amount of piss and vinegar Diamond sprays over virtually everyone he's ever met -- Fred Savage is a "douchenozzle;" Neil Patrick Harris an "asshole" (and Ed Alonzo a closeted homosexual who was regularly having secret sex with Harris); Gary Coleman "jaded" and "stuck up;" Jeremy Jackson a "fucking mess;" Corey Haim and Corey Feldman insufferable pricks who considered themselves "God's twin gifts to the Earth;" Mark-Paul Gosselaar a spoiled, preening "Golden Child" who once pissed in the Playboy Mansion grotto; Mario Lopez a "man-whore" and "poon hound" with "saggy old man boobs;" Elizabeth Berkley a "desperate party hound;" Dennis Haskins a "career predator;" not to mention claiming that comedian Martin Lawrence once raped SBTB star Lark Voorhies without having a shred of evidence; and that the aforementioned Thiessen regularly smoked pot on set and had sex with both Gosselaar and Lopez in their dressing rooms immediately after each other. (And mind you, this is while also admitting that Thiessen's parents once selflessly let him and his pets move into their house for months to avoid a stalker.)
And it's not just outrageously negative statements that makes this book so unpleasant: at certain points in the page count, Diamond claims he has an enormous penis (or "meat stick" in his unfortunate particular vernacular) that Berkley was in awe of; has had sex with over 2,000 partners (all of whom he collectively apologizes to at once in the appendix, in an open letter that begins "To all the chicks I banged before"), many of the incidents taking place on the actual SBTB sets and sometimes in his co-stars' dressing rooms; has seen every cast member of SBTB naked at one point or another; used to "bang" 14-year-old girls regularly during live tours (and would also buy an annual pass each year to Disneyland because it was insanely easy to get teenage girls away from their parents there and spend a half-hour fingering them in a dark back corner of the amusement park); had a full-on romantic relationship with 20-years-senior NBC vice president Linda Mancuso when he was a teenager and she was in her thirties (which she can neither confirm nor deny because of conveniently dying six years before this book was written); once received a psychic message the day before he was to meet him that Michael Jackson was a pedophile; regularly improvised lines that made the SBTB writing staff feel threatened because they were so much better than the provided script; was once given a kilo of cocaine by a Cuban drug dealer because SBTB was his daughter's favorite show; received more fan mail than any other SBTB cast member; deliberately delivered terrible performances during SBTB: The New Class in an attempt to ease into adult roles after the show was over (under the justification that if his acting was deliberately over-the-top enough, producers would surely see that he was in on the joke and was actually a talented, serious actor); was the actual person who got the big-screen Hollywood version of Scooby-Doo greenlit, just to get conspiratorially screwed out of the Shaggy role due to secret machinations by Sarah Michelle Gellar and Freddie Prinze Jr.; and was regularly propositioned by most of the show's teenage extras (and would pick out random audience members to have sex with during taping days, in the style of KISS members instructing their roadies to bring girls backstage after shows, for which he refers to himself as a "Super Pimp").
To be clear, Diamond is ultimately the person responsible for Diamond's adult life becoming such a mess -- no one forced him to publish this terrible book, just like no one forced him to star in an amateur adult video, or then try to monetize said video a year later, or appear in such reality shows as Hulk Hogan's Celebrity Championship Wrestling and World's Dumbest..., or be a between-act host at the annual Insane Clown Posse convention "Gathering of the Juggalos," or start a nu-metal band called Salty the Pocketknife, or stab a guy one night inside a Wisconsin dive bar, or any of the other outrageous shenanigans that marked his post-SBTB life. But then again, it's not exactly Diamond's fault that his entire childhood was essentially stolen from him by greedy and amoral adults (including a father who spent nearly every penny Diamond made before he could turn eighteen and legally claim it), leaving him untrained and entirely unprepared for adulthood once he finished puberty and was no longer the cute little kid who owed his entire career to being a cute little kid.
He deserved better than that, and he certainly deserved better than this shoddily produced memoir by this fly-by-night company, which on top of all its other sins is filled with literally hundreds of typos and other grammatical mistakes. (At a certain point, the manuscript spells the Charles Dickens character Bob Cratchit as "Bob Crach It," and on three separate occasions it refers to craft services as "Kraft Service," as if all food given out on Hollywood sets is actually prepared by the Kraft corporation.) What was merely a horrible book while Diamond was alive becomes a crime against humanity now that he's dead; and no matter what kind of a human monster he was (and he was demonstrably a pretty horrible monster, make no mistake), nobody deserves the kind of hatchet job this exploitation piece does on both him and everyone he ever knew. It comes with a strong hate-read recommendation in this spirit.
December 21, 2018
DNF at 56%
Why I Read this Book: I watched ‘Saved by the Bell’ growing up, so Behind the Bell definitely caught my attention.
What I Liked: The behind the scenes, day-to-day production stuff was interesting to read. This is the kind of stuff I was hoping to read about when I picked up this book, along with who was dating whom and such. I was under the impression that this was a ‘tell all’ book, but it was mostly Dustin complaining and whining about anyone and everyone he came into contact with during his run as Screech.
What I Didn’t Like: Where do I begin? There were A LOT of eye rolling moments when I was reading this book. Half the stuff in this book (of what I read) was unbelievable. That’s not to say it didn’t happen, but I questioned a lot of what I read. I’m sure there is some truth in there, but there’s also some exaggerations as well. I was left wondering how much of what I read was fact and how much was fabricated. Then, when I was 56% into the book, I decided to do a little digging online. I came across a snippet from Oprah’s Where Are They Now where Dustin says that this book was ghost written; that he talked to a guy (the ghost writer) a few times. “The book has some truth in it and a lot of the stories were just kind of throwaways.” At that point, I didn’t want to waste any more of my time reading this book. I was hoping for SBTB memories and stories about his cast mates, not fabricated tales you can’t decipher from the actual truth. (Which is why I categorized this book as ‘entertainment’ as opposed to ‘nonfiction’.)
Dustin gives himself too much credit, like when he credits himself to helping Mark-Paul Gosselaar with his lines, and thus landing the role of Zack. How he (Dustin) “received the most fan mail”. Or when he does give praise to his fellow cast mates, he has to one up them: “One thing everyone was pretty equal on was memorizing their lines…but I was usually the quickest.”
Dustin also mentions his “humongous dong” a few times, and clearly he wants to make sure you don’t forget that “not-so-little” tidbit of information. And there’s his sexcapades at Disneyland. He brags not only about the size of his penis, but about how many people he’s slept with and where: “Is it bragging to say I’ve banged over two thousand chicks in my life? Maybe it is, but it’s a fact.” and “I banged girls right on the set. Oh yeah, that’s right – on the SBTB set.” And he had the audacity to call Tiffani-Amber Thiessen a slut and Mario Lopez a man-whore? Ha!
One part that really shouldn’t have been in the book (and I don’t even know if this is even fact or fiction) was his relationship with the then NBC vice-president, which started (at least the kissing part) when he was a minor (she was 18 years his senior). I don’t care if this is true or not, what really bothered me was that he was publicizing this after the woman died. So she has no way of telling her side or denying it or whatever. He says “I knew I couldn’t tell anyone. Not a soul. Not until now.” Why speak of this now, after she has passed on and can’t respond to his accusations?
And lastly, there was one section, The Sniper, about Dustin and his cats that didn’t belong in this book. It had nothing to do with SBTB.
Overall Impression: Dustin comes off as whiny, bitter, and jealous. He says in the book “I’m not trying to paint a whole ‘woe is me’ portrait…” but that’s what this book essentially is – a pity party of one. If I were to compare Behind the Bell to celebrity gossip rags, I’d say it read like Star magazine – lots of claims from unreliable sources that are hit or miss and you don’t know what to believe.
Review originally posted on The Book Vixen.
Why I Read this Book: I watched ‘Saved by the Bell’ growing up, so Behind the Bell definitely caught my attention.
What I Liked: The behind the scenes, day-to-day production stuff was interesting to read. This is the kind of stuff I was hoping to read about when I picked up this book, along with who was dating whom and such. I was under the impression that this was a ‘tell all’ book, but it was mostly Dustin complaining and whining about anyone and everyone he came into contact with during his run as Screech.
What I Didn’t Like: Where do I begin? There were A LOT of eye rolling moments when I was reading this book. Half the stuff in this book (of what I read) was unbelievable. That’s not to say it didn’t happen, but I questioned a lot of what I read. I’m sure there is some truth in there, but there’s also some exaggerations as well. I was left wondering how much of what I read was fact and how much was fabricated. Then, when I was 56% into the book, I decided to do a little digging online. I came across a snippet from Oprah’s Where Are They Now where Dustin says that this book was ghost written; that he talked to a guy (the ghost writer) a few times. “The book has some truth in it and a lot of the stories were just kind of throwaways.” At that point, I didn’t want to waste any more of my time reading this book. I was hoping for SBTB memories and stories about his cast mates, not fabricated tales you can’t decipher from the actual truth. (Which is why I categorized this book as ‘entertainment’ as opposed to ‘nonfiction’.)
Dustin gives himself too much credit, like when he credits himself to helping Mark-Paul Gosselaar with his lines, and thus landing the role of Zack. How he (Dustin) “received the most fan mail”. Or when he does give praise to his fellow cast mates, he has to one up them: “One thing everyone was pretty equal on was memorizing their lines…but I was usually the quickest.”
Dustin also mentions his “humongous dong” a few times, and clearly he wants to make sure you don’t forget that “not-so-little” tidbit of information. And there’s his sexcapades at Disneyland. He brags not only about the size of his penis, but about how many people he’s slept with and where: “Is it bragging to say I’ve banged over two thousand chicks in my life? Maybe it is, but it’s a fact.” and “I banged girls right on the set. Oh yeah, that’s right – on the SBTB set.” And he had the audacity to call Tiffani-Amber Thiessen a slut and Mario Lopez a man-whore? Ha!
One part that really shouldn’t have been in the book (and I don’t even know if this is even fact or fiction) was his relationship with the then NBC vice-president, which started (at least the kissing part) when he was a minor (she was 18 years his senior). I don’t care if this is true or not, what really bothered me was that he was publicizing this after the woman died. So she has no way of telling her side or denying it or whatever. He says “I knew I couldn’t tell anyone. Not a soul. Not until now.” Why speak of this now, after she has passed on and can’t respond to his accusations?
And lastly, there was one section, The Sniper, about Dustin and his cats that didn’t belong in this book. It had nothing to do with SBTB.
Overall Impression: Dustin comes off as whiny, bitter, and jealous. He says in the book “I’m not trying to paint a whole ‘woe is me’ portrait…” but that’s what this book essentially is – a pity party of one. If I were to compare Behind the Bell to celebrity gossip rags, I’d say it read like Star magazine – lots of claims from unreliable sources that are hit or miss and you don’t know what to believe.
Review originally posted on The Book Vixen.
November 27, 2009
I admit it. I was incredibly apprehensive about reading Dustin Diamond's expose about what really went on behind the scenes of Saved By The Bell. I am a huge SBTB fan. I watch the show every morning while I'm getting ready for work. I own the DVDs and I even have a manilla envelope of posters, magazine interviews, and other random cast paraphernalia I saved from my the height of my love in middle school. When I found out that Screech penned a memoir that supposedly dished all the dirt, well, I was angry. I didn't want to read it for fear that it would taint my almost lifelong love for the show. I figured the book was Dustin Diamond's method of retaliation for 1) being on a show with kids two to three years older than him and when he's 12 and everyone else is 15 or 16 - that's a big age gap and it's hard to overcome or 2) he's broke again and if he learned one thing out on the comedy circuit, it was that people came to see Screech and find out more about the show, not to see his comedy act so he thought he'd just cash in.
My fears were unwarranted. The 'juiciest' cast details (i.e. Mario's rape cover up, Mark Paul taking steroids, and Tiffani Amber being a Queen Bee whore) were all used in the promotion of the book - Dustin's interviews with the press and him reading excerpts for internet videos. The rest of the book details his sexual exploits, drug use, and how naive he was that people took advantage of him. Diamond claims he's slept with over 2,000 women. Really? I know that people will jump into the sack to get ahead, but 2,000 women really slept with Dustin Diamond? Really? I'm afraid for the future of our society if that's how low some (well, a reported 2,000) women will go to get ahead. I don't care about the first time Dustin smoked weed or how he showed up to a press junket incredibly hungover. And I certainly didn't expect a chapter on how he trolled Disneyland for 'poon' or whatever lame, hasn't been used in over a decade slang term for a woman's vagina he chose to use.
Dustin Diamond used his roll on Saved by the Bell to sell books about himself. I think he feels slighted by the cast and executives of SBTB because he wasn't the 'Golden Child' even though he got more fan mail than any other cast member (over 7,000 letters per week!). According to our insightful and oh so knowledgeable narrator, SBTB fans were tired of the same old story lines and didn't want anymore story lines about Zack and Kelly, especially the College Years. Diamond even complained about how the Wedding in Las Vegas was all about Zack and Kelly. Hello?! Everyone wants to see Zack and Kelly live happily ever after. Get over yourself, Screech. It's not all about you!
So, in retaliation, he babbles on about a few random behind the scenes anecdotes, spends several chapters detailing how childhood fame turned him into a sleaseball (but he's thankful he never got an STD!), and then uses the rest of the book to name drop and bash other celebrities. Dustin, what the heck did Neil Patrick Harris and Ed Alonzo ever do to you, huh?
*shaking my head* If you feel so inclined to read this mindless drivel for yourself or you're just out to punish yourself, take note that this is a quick read. I read it in a few hours. I'm not sure why I kept reading. It was like a bad car accident. You can't put look and keep looking... At least I can say I read it and that it wasn't all it was promoted to be. It isn't an expose, but a memoir of a spoiled child star who thinks he deserves more.
My fears were unwarranted. The 'juiciest' cast details (i.e. Mario's rape cover up, Mark Paul taking steroids, and Tiffani Amber being a Queen Bee whore) were all used in the promotion of the book - Dustin's interviews with the press and him reading excerpts for internet videos. The rest of the book details his sexual exploits, drug use, and how naive he was that people took advantage of him. Diamond claims he's slept with over 2,000 women. Really? I know that people will jump into the sack to get ahead, but 2,000 women really slept with Dustin Diamond? Really? I'm afraid for the future of our society if that's how low some (well, a reported 2,000) women will go to get ahead. I don't care about the first time Dustin smoked weed or how he showed up to a press junket incredibly hungover. And I certainly didn't expect a chapter on how he trolled Disneyland for 'poon' or whatever lame, hasn't been used in over a decade slang term for a woman's vagina he chose to use.
Dustin Diamond used his roll on Saved by the Bell to sell books about himself. I think he feels slighted by the cast and executives of SBTB because he wasn't the 'Golden Child' even though he got more fan mail than any other cast member (over 7,000 letters per week!). According to our insightful and oh so knowledgeable narrator, SBTB fans were tired of the same old story lines and didn't want anymore story lines about Zack and Kelly, especially the College Years. Diamond even complained about how the Wedding in Las Vegas was all about Zack and Kelly. Hello?! Everyone wants to see Zack and Kelly live happily ever after. Get over yourself, Screech. It's not all about you!
So, in retaliation, he babbles on about a few random behind the scenes anecdotes, spends several chapters detailing how childhood fame turned him into a sleaseball (but he's thankful he never got an STD!), and then uses the rest of the book to name drop and bash other celebrities. Dustin, what the heck did Neil Patrick Harris and Ed Alonzo ever do to you, huh?
*shaking my head* If you feel so inclined to read this mindless drivel for yourself or you're just out to punish yourself, take note that this is a quick read. I read it in a few hours. I'm not sure why I kept reading. It was like a bad car accident. You can't put look and keep looking... At least I can say I read it and that it wasn't all it was promoted to be. It isn't an expose, but a memoir of a spoiled child star who thinks he deserves more.
July 12, 2014
23 Word Review:
Holden Caulfield grows up and writes a book. Actually it’s Screech and it’s not much of a book. Best suited for MST3K fans.
----------------------------------------------------------
Diamond’s book is less of an expose and more of a modern day Catcher in the Rye. Diamond fits into the role of a grown up Holden Caulfield quite well. He’s angry, embittered and surrounded by a world full of posers, losers and dirty dirty fakes. He, of course, rises above it all, watching on with an air of self-righteous superiority as everyone else goes about their grubby little lives. That doesn’t mean Diamond is above the same behavior that leads him to label Mario Lopez a ‘man whore’. Lopez – along with every other cast member aside from Dennis Haskins (aka Mr. Belding) – is described only briefly and treated as a bit actor in the story of Dustin Diamond’s reign of ‘Saved By The Bell’.
Throughout the book, Diamond inadvertently paints himself as a sniveling, embittered, petty narcissist which, again, dovetails perfectly with the profile of a grown up version of Salinger’s anti-hero Holden Caulfield. The stories Diamond shares are so obnoxiously over the top, they beggar belief. He brags about how many “chicks I’ve banged” on nearly every page. His exploits seem to have started right out of the gate, apparently thanks to his “monster wang” which he refers to no less than a dozen times throughout the book. He focuses so intently on what a ladies man he was that it borders on the towns of Absurdville and Desperation Row.
While Dustin doesn’t seem too interested in giving up the details on his cast members, he was clearly a bit desperate to fill the 311 large font, widely kerned pages which make up the book. He includes the entire prime time line up circa 1992 and, towards the end, entire paragraphs are reprinted right one after each other. This might have been done by the publisher in a desperate attempt to stretch out the already thin material just a little more but it just as easily could have been the result the editors just not noticing because, I gotta be honest, this isn’t an easy book to finish.
When it comes to the crew who managed to get SBTB on the air every week, Diamond goes back and forth between what seems to be a genuine respect for their work and seeing them as little more than props. He recounts the details of camera placement and screen snaps for several pages but, when he gets to the color-key work done he sums it up by telling his readers “There’s probably some elaborate technical reason [behind the job of color-keying] …. But I have no idea what that undoubtedly excellent reason might be.” Clearly, he also couldn’t be bothered to look it up.
Diamond wants to be seen as a nice guy stuck in an awful world, forced into situations that left him jaded, potentially spoiled by youthful fame and fortune, but still a nice guy at heart. Sadly, he succeeds only at sounding like a whining, self-important prick. He tells a story about having been wronged by an extra. She insulted him in front of the rest of the cast and, to retaliate, he allegedly stole her purse and pissed in it while she was having lunch. Because, you know, every girl leaves her purse behind in a common area where anyone could take it when she leaves for lunch during the work day.
That TOTALLY happens.
One of his more ludicrous claims is that he carried on and off-and-on sexual affair with Linda Mancuso who was, at that time, VP of children’s programming at NBC. Like many of his tall tales, the story begins almost believably – with a building sexual tension that is almost-maybe-if-you’ve-had-a-few-to-drink-kinda-sorta believable. But then things take on the air of a late name Skinemax movie. In an unspecified year (Diamond is almost deliberately vague on his timelines) several members of the cast and crew, including Diamond and Mancuso, were flown to an appearance in New York. One evening, Diamond saunters down the hall to Linda’s room. Inside, her mother is asleep in an adjoining room and she and a friend are sitting on the couch drinking wine and watching soft core porn. I shit you not – that is seriously his story. The friend apparently offers a giggly excuse and leaves the room, leaving Dustin and Linda alone. After a brief make-out session, Dustin leaves and the affair kicks off in full steam some time later. He claims the affair carried on for years and until they simply (and discretely) “drifted apart.” Some time later, Linda was diagnosed with cancer and passed away in 2003. Diamond admits he didn’t attend her funeral and, for the reader, the entire story bears a striking resemblance to those boastful tales heard on the playground about a girlfriend (or boyfriend) a classmate has totally gone to third base with. But you wouldn’t know them … they live in Canada. Or it happened at Summer Camp.
In its own way, Behind the Bell a tragic tale and readers are likely to finish the book feel a small amount of pity for Diamond. Then, however, they’ll turn the page to find he has included three appendices to the book
• A Saved by the Bell Drinking Game (created by someone else)
• To All the Chicks I Banged Before: An Open Letter
• A Fan’s Top Episodes
This final appendix will erase any shred of sympathy you may still be clinging on to desperately. Dustin’s admittedly “very unofficial” list includes 12 forgettable episodes meant to be a collection of “fan favorites”. Missing from his list is the single most memorable episode in the history of the series, “Jessie’s Song” which featured the infamous ‘I’m so excited” clip. He could have picked any 11 other Screech-centric episodes for his list, but when you’re making a fan favorite list, it might be a good idea to actually include an episode the fans have proven they love even 20 years after Bayside High closed its doors for good.
After finishing Diamond’s memoir of his time on SBTB, I have to wonder if he may be have provided the real life inspiration for Kenny Powers. The irony in this book is that being a part of a long running television show like SBTB is an impressive accomplishment. Diamond has every right to be proud of what he, his cast mates and the crew managed to accomplish over the 10 years the show was on the air. The way he tells his story, however, diminishes his accomplishments. In the end, Behind the Bell is little more than the incessant inner dialogue of a narcissist the world has forgotten.
Holden Caulfield grows up and writes a book. Actually it’s Screech and it’s not much of a book. Best suited for MST3K fans.
----------------------------------------------------------
Diamond’s book is less of an expose and more of a modern day Catcher in the Rye. Diamond fits into the role of a grown up Holden Caulfield quite well. He’s angry, embittered and surrounded by a world full of posers, losers and dirty dirty fakes. He, of course, rises above it all, watching on with an air of self-righteous superiority as everyone else goes about their grubby little lives. That doesn’t mean Diamond is above the same behavior that leads him to label Mario Lopez a ‘man whore’. Lopez – along with every other cast member aside from Dennis Haskins (aka Mr. Belding) – is described only briefly and treated as a bit actor in the story of Dustin Diamond’s reign of ‘Saved By The Bell’.
Throughout the book, Diamond inadvertently paints himself as a sniveling, embittered, petty narcissist which, again, dovetails perfectly with the profile of a grown up version of Salinger’s anti-hero Holden Caulfield. The stories Diamond shares are so obnoxiously over the top, they beggar belief. He brags about how many “chicks I’ve banged” on nearly every page. His exploits seem to have started right out of the gate, apparently thanks to his “monster wang” which he refers to no less than a dozen times throughout the book. He focuses so intently on what a ladies man he was that it borders on the towns of Absurdville and Desperation Row.
While Dustin doesn’t seem too interested in giving up the details on his cast members, he was clearly a bit desperate to fill the 311 large font, widely kerned pages which make up the book. He includes the entire prime time line up circa 1992 and, towards the end, entire paragraphs are reprinted right one after each other. This might have been done by the publisher in a desperate attempt to stretch out the already thin material just a little more but it just as easily could have been the result the editors just not noticing because, I gotta be honest, this isn’t an easy book to finish.
When it comes to the crew who managed to get SBTB on the air every week, Diamond goes back and forth between what seems to be a genuine respect for their work and seeing them as little more than props. He recounts the details of camera placement and screen snaps for several pages but, when he gets to the color-key work done he sums it up by telling his readers “There’s probably some elaborate technical reason [behind the job of color-keying] …. But I have no idea what that undoubtedly excellent reason might be.” Clearly, he also couldn’t be bothered to look it up.
Diamond wants to be seen as a nice guy stuck in an awful world, forced into situations that left him jaded, potentially spoiled by youthful fame and fortune, but still a nice guy at heart. Sadly, he succeeds only at sounding like a whining, self-important prick. He tells a story about having been wronged by an extra. She insulted him in front of the rest of the cast and, to retaliate, he allegedly stole her purse and pissed in it while she was having lunch. Because, you know, every girl leaves her purse behind in a common area where anyone could take it when she leaves for lunch during the work day.
That TOTALLY happens.
One of his more ludicrous claims is that he carried on and off-and-on sexual affair with Linda Mancuso who was, at that time, VP of children’s programming at NBC. Like many of his tall tales, the story begins almost believably – with a building sexual tension that is almost-maybe-if-you’ve-had-a-few-to-drink-kinda-sorta believable. But then things take on the air of a late name Skinemax movie. In an unspecified year (Diamond is almost deliberately vague on his timelines) several members of the cast and crew, including Diamond and Mancuso, were flown to an appearance in New York. One evening, Diamond saunters down the hall to Linda’s room. Inside, her mother is asleep in an adjoining room and she and a friend are sitting on the couch drinking wine and watching soft core porn. I shit you not – that is seriously his story. The friend apparently offers a giggly excuse and leaves the room, leaving Dustin and Linda alone. After a brief make-out session, Dustin leaves and the affair kicks off in full steam some time later. He claims the affair carried on for years and until they simply (and discretely) “drifted apart.” Some time later, Linda was diagnosed with cancer and passed away in 2003. Diamond admits he didn’t attend her funeral and, for the reader, the entire story bears a striking resemblance to those boastful tales heard on the playground about a girlfriend (or boyfriend) a classmate has totally gone to third base with. But you wouldn’t know them … they live in Canada. Or it happened at Summer Camp.
In its own way, Behind the Bell a tragic tale and readers are likely to finish the book feel a small amount of pity for Diamond. Then, however, they’ll turn the page to find he has included three appendices to the book
• A Saved by the Bell Drinking Game (created by someone else)
• To All the Chicks I Banged Before: An Open Letter
• A Fan’s Top Episodes
This final appendix will erase any shred of sympathy you may still be clinging on to desperately. Dustin’s admittedly “very unofficial” list includes 12 forgettable episodes meant to be a collection of “fan favorites”. Missing from his list is the single most memorable episode in the history of the series, “Jessie’s Song” which featured the infamous ‘I’m so excited” clip. He could have picked any 11 other Screech-centric episodes for his list, but when you’re making a fan favorite list, it might be a good idea to actually include an episode the fans have proven they love even 20 years after Bayside High closed its doors for good.
After finishing Diamond’s memoir of his time on SBTB, I have to wonder if he may be have provided the real life inspiration for Kenny Powers. The irony in this book is that being a part of a long running television show like SBTB is an impressive accomplishment. Diamond has every right to be proud of what he, his cast mates and the crew managed to accomplish over the 10 years the show was on the air. The way he tells his story, however, diminishes his accomplishments. In the end, Behind the Bell is little more than the incessant inner dialogue of a narcissist the world has forgotten.
Read
November 15, 2020this is easily one of the worst books ive read this year maybe ever but i can no longer quantify time like that so i dont feel comfortable making that claim. whether this was ghostwritten or from the man himself behind the bell clearly came from the mind of a demon sent to terrorize planet earth with long turgid descriptions of the quality of breasts and sex but mostly it reads like a horny 14 y/o virgin wrote it so maybe dustin caught arrested development from shooting to tv fame at such a young age or he found a child to write this book for him. who can say! i suggest this book for those who like to see such clever turns of phrase as "melonesque gazungas" or "bulletproof knobs" there are any number of disturbing euphemisms for tiddy and they are all repulsive and truly reek of infantile misogyny like brooooooooooooooo u never "disneyfingered" (fingering someone at disney) anyone!! i can excuse poor writing because i am braindead but i cannot handle this shit especially in excess. a truly miserable book FDBD (for demons by demons)!
June 17, 2024
For what it’s worth, this was a great book! I can’t believe people gave it 1 or 2 stars. Blasphemy. I mean granted I’m reading it 9 years after Dustin Diamond’s death. And yes he was a bit of a narcissist. A bit sexist. Definitely sex crazed. But he’s honest about it. All of it! He trashes almost everyone he’s ever worked with, but he also holds himself up to the same level of scrutiny. And there were a couple times where I actually LOL’d. Dustin Diamond was legitimately funny! For a trashy tell-all by a messed up former child star, I enjoyed it. And anyone who didn’t must have really had odd expectations going in.
January 12, 2015
As a former extra, (hopefully one that never got my purse violated)...I really enjoyed reading a lot of this. His account gave so many nuances of what it was like to be backstage. It was very. interesting. I think if he'd taken a cue from SBTB producer Peter Engel and edited the book to be "fit for family," his story would have been much better received. The one star ratings dissuaded me from reading it for several years and I think I only paid 99 cents for it. I wound up thoroughly entertained and enjoyed a few laugh out loud moments. I CRINGED at all the hate. In light of the lifestyle he claims for himself...the name calling was almost absurd.
Dustin did a hard job for a lot of years. I don't believe a person can work on a successful TV show for this long without a great deal of discipline, professionalism and responsibility. A lot to take on at eleven years old, I'd say. If you read between the lines you will find an intelligent and soulful person in there. I'd have liked to give both a 1 and a 5 rating rather than this average looking 3.
From my own experience I can contribute a couple of "extra" things, if you are bored or have insomnia like I do right now. I do not doubt Dustin's account of the things he saw...though his interpretations I believe were off at times and particularly wrong in one case..
Dustin did a hard job for a lot of years. I don't believe a person can work on a successful TV show for this long without a great deal of discipline, professionalism and responsibility. A lot to take on at eleven years old, I'd say. If you read between the lines you will find an intelligent and soulful person in there. I'd have liked to give both a 1 and a 5 rating rather than this average looking 3.
From my own experience I can contribute a couple of "extra" things, if you are bored or have insomnia like I do right now. I do not doubt Dustin's account of the things he saw...though his interpretations I believe were off at times and particularly wrong in one case..
August 27, 2012
What a coincidence that I would pick this book up after reading Julie Dawn Cole's saccharin I Want it Now! about her days filming Willy Wonka. This book by former Saved by the Bell (SBTB) star, Dustin Diamond, is about as close to being a complete opposite to Cole's book as one could dream up!
From the very get go, Diamond, who played the geeky Screech on SBTB tells the story of a world in which every single person is a jerk - except, or course, Diamond himself.
SPOILERS!!
Let me sum up some points for Mr. Diamond:
Mark-Paul Gosselaar (Zack) was a mean, entitled, prima donna who might possibly have been engaged in an elicit relationship with the show's male creator.
Mario Lopez (Slater) was an narcissistic bully and womanizer who was accused of rape and had NBC payoff the complainant.
Tiffany Amber Thiessen (Kelly) was an opportunist skank who slept her way to whatever she managed to attain.
Lark Vorhies (Lisa) was an emotionally damaged introvert who Diamond alludes to have been abused by her fiance, Martin Lawrence.
Elizabeth Berkeley (Jessie) was a lousy actress and mental midget who's main activity while on the show was to sleep with whomever Thiessen was done with.
Dennis Haskins (Mr. Belding) was a car-salesman-like opportunist who really wanted to get a lady but who scared them away (literally.)
Those are the highlights. Diamond thrashes about 98% of the people he mentions in the book, including his parents who spent all his child actor dough.
On the flip side, reading this book will let you in on a secret: Dustin Diamond is a ladys man like no other! He literally talks about his conquests being north of the 2000 women mark. He tells intimate details of an affair he had with an NBC executive in her late 30's (he was about 15 at the time) who is, regrettably, dead now, having dies of breast cancer and unable to confirm or deny his accusations. He tells stories of using Disneyland and various SBTB public appearances as dating junkets. He basically puts himself forward as the one guy who had all the right answers, knew the way things really worked, and saw everyone for what they really were.
One facet of the story that is noticeably missing is Diamond's theory as to how, given his mental and personality prowess, he has managed to do prescious little else since leaving SBTB other than:
A "leaked" amateur adult film.
Celebrity Fit Club 2 (where he claims he was in cahoots with the producers to liven things up by acting like a villain.)
A celebrity fight with the lat Ron Palillo, Welcome Back Kotter's Arnold Horshack
Write a scathing tell all about his very limited perspective on Hollywood.
There are some tidbits of interesting info about the workings of the show and about child stardom in general. Overall, the book comes off like the rantings of an ego maniac who misses the fame.
From the very get go, Diamond, who played the geeky Screech on SBTB tells the story of a world in which every single person is a jerk - except, or course, Diamond himself.
SPOILERS!!
Let me sum up some points for Mr. Diamond:
Mark-Paul Gosselaar (Zack) was a mean, entitled, prima donna who might possibly have been engaged in an elicit relationship with the show's male creator.
Mario Lopez (Slater) was an narcissistic bully and womanizer who was accused of rape and had NBC payoff the complainant.
Tiffany Amber Thiessen (Kelly) was an opportunist skank who slept her way to whatever she managed to attain.
Lark Vorhies (Lisa) was an emotionally damaged introvert who Diamond alludes to have been abused by her fiance, Martin Lawrence.
Elizabeth Berkeley (Jessie) was a lousy actress and mental midget who's main activity while on the show was to sleep with whomever Thiessen was done with.
Dennis Haskins (Mr. Belding) was a car-salesman-like opportunist who really wanted to get a lady but who scared them away (literally.)
Those are the highlights. Diamond thrashes about 98% of the people he mentions in the book, including his parents who spent all his child actor dough.
On the flip side, reading this book will let you in on a secret: Dustin Diamond is a ladys man like no other! He literally talks about his conquests being north of the 2000 women mark. He tells intimate details of an affair he had with an NBC executive in her late 30's (he was about 15 at the time) who is, regrettably, dead now, having dies of breast cancer and unable to confirm or deny his accusations. He tells stories of using Disneyland and various SBTB public appearances as dating junkets. He basically puts himself forward as the one guy who had all the right answers, knew the way things really worked, and saw everyone for what they really were.
One facet of the story that is noticeably missing is Diamond's theory as to how, given his mental and personality prowess, he has managed to do prescious little else since leaving SBTB other than:
A "leaked" amateur adult film.
Celebrity Fit Club 2 (where he claims he was in cahoots with the producers to liven things up by acting like a villain.)
A celebrity fight with the lat Ron Palillo, Welcome Back Kotter's Arnold Horshack
Write a scathing tell all about his very limited perspective on Hollywood.
There are some tidbits of interesting info about the workings of the show and about child stardom in general. Overall, the book comes off like the rantings of an ego maniac who misses the fame.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
May 21, 2021
Dustin Diamond's book is the definition of "so bad it's good!" This is pure, concentrated SHIT...and I loved every minute of reading it. Sometimes you need a break from the intellectually stimulating works to indulge in some world-class garbage, just to be reminded that not every book needs to be Dostoevsky or Shakespeare to be worthwhile.
I know 90% of what Dustin Diamond claims in this memoir is pulled out of his ass or exaggerated nearly to the point of absurdity (which adds to the book's unintended humor), but I knew what I was getting into prior to picking this up so it didn't negatively affect my reading. I was fully aware of Diamond's status as a bullshit artist, so I didn't care that he lied his way through these several hundred pages. In truth, that's what I came here for – to be entertained at any cost. Needless to say, I was not disappointed.
Though, for as enjoyably bad as Dustin Diamond's anecdotes and behind-the-scenes tales were, one thing kept bugging me all throughout my reading – horrendous editing. There are a litany of errors that are simply inexcusable in a publication of such high notoriety. Repeating sentences and paragraphs, mind-boggling misspellings, punctuation errors, improper syntax, and flat-out incorrect information (like wrongly referencing Uncle Fester as a character from The Munsters rather than one from The Addams' Family) plague this already trashy book. I have a feeling that whoever edited the book had a hard time taking it seriously and thus left it mostly unchecked, which I don't blame them for. Had these copious mistakes been corrected, this would be a much more tolerable reading experience, although the content would remain just as hilariously bad.
How can you not have a good time with such a slanderous, hyperbole-laden, spite-fueled hit-piece aimed at the cast of Saved by the Bell, written by Screech himself? That concept is crazy enough to warrant a read by anyone who was a fan of the show simply on those merits alone. Read it for the laughs and enjoy the shit show for all its dumb glory; don't take it too seriously or you're more likely to have a bad time.
I know 90% of what Dustin Diamond claims in this memoir is pulled out of his ass or exaggerated nearly to the point of absurdity (which adds to the book's unintended humor), but I knew what I was getting into prior to picking this up so it didn't negatively affect my reading. I was fully aware of Diamond's status as a bullshit artist, so I didn't care that he lied his way through these several hundred pages. In truth, that's what I came here for – to be entertained at any cost. Needless to say, I was not disappointed.
Though, for as enjoyably bad as Dustin Diamond's anecdotes and behind-the-scenes tales were, one thing kept bugging me all throughout my reading – horrendous editing. There are a litany of errors that are simply inexcusable in a publication of such high notoriety. Repeating sentences and paragraphs, mind-boggling misspellings, punctuation errors, improper syntax, and flat-out incorrect information (like wrongly referencing Uncle Fester as a character from The Munsters rather than one from The Addams' Family) plague this already trashy book. I have a feeling that whoever edited the book had a hard time taking it seriously and thus left it mostly unchecked, which I don't blame them for. Had these copious mistakes been corrected, this would be a much more tolerable reading experience, although the content would remain just as hilariously bad.
How can you not have a good time with such a slanderous, hyperbole-laden, spite-fueled hit-piece aimed at the cast of Saved by the Bell, written by Screech himself? That concept is crazy enough to warrant a read by anyone who was a fan of the show simply on those merits alone. Read it for the laughs and enjoy the shit show for all its dumb glory; don't take it too seriously or you're more likely to have a bad time.
April 2, 2012
This book was decent. After reading reviews I expected it to be horrible. However, I was pleasantly surprised to find I enjoyed it. Maybe the bad reviews are because people expected screech to write it...I however went in with an open mind. I was expecting for Dustin to bad mouth fellow cast mates. I expected him to tell his side and only his side, therefore probably not entirely accurate. For example, he may have seen Tiffani going in and out of Mario or mark-Paul's dressing rooms, but was he in the room with them? No, so he doesn't have proof any of those rendezvous actually took place. He is speculating. His life...? Probably accentuated in the book. He focuses on himself through the whole book making himself look like everything was about him but we all know that wasn't the case. As I mentioned I enjoyed the drama of the book and that is what it is, drama. However, the editing could have used some work. There are many spelling and grammar errors scattered through out the book, some of which caused my reading progress to pause. Thus only four stars, it could have been better written, but he did what he set out to do, to tell his own story and many people didn't like it.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
November 1, 2015
I didn't think I was going to be able to finish this but I have to finish a book if I start reading it. I will first start off by saying that it was interesting to get some of the behind the scenes of SBTB. That being said...other than that I don't recommend this book.
Dustin Diamond has issues. His is so into himself it's ridiculous, and the fact he has to keep bringing up how big his package is, is just annoying. He actually put a letter in there apologizing to the women he took advantage of and even in that apology he's a pig!
There is also a lot of writing flaws such as repeating paragraphs, misspelling of words, and incorrect information. He also said that "Jackie Coogan" played Uncle Fester on "The Munsters"...Uncle Fester was on "The Addams Family" you Moron!!!!
It's really up to you to read this or not. I was a huge SBTB fan so I ignored the reviews and read it anyway. I hope someone from the cast writes a biography on SBTB that isn't a load of crap.
I did read an interview where he said there was a ghost writer responsible, but I'm not sure if I buy that. I think he said a lot of things he shouldn't have and realized it after it was too late.
Dustin Diamond has issues. His is so into himself it's ridiculous, and the fact he has to keep bringing up how big his package is, is just annoying. He actually put a letter in there apologizing to the women he took advantage of and even in that apology he's a pig!
There is also a lot of writing flaws such as repeating paragraphs, misspelling of words, and incorrect information. He also said that "Jackie Coogan" played Uncle Fester on "The Munsters"...Uncle Fester was on "The Addams Family" you Moron!!!!
It's really up to you to read this or not. I was a huge SBTB fan so I ignored the reviews and read it anyway. I hope someone from the cast writes a biography on SBTB that isn't a load of crap.
I did read an interview where he said there was a ghost writer responsible, but I'm not sure if I buy that. I think he said a lot of things he shouldn't have and realized it after it was too late.
January 13, 2013
Being a big fan of SBTB and inside Hollywood gossip, I was excited to read this book. I finally received it for Christmas and finished it in a few days. It's a quick read and that's one of the few good things I can say about it. I'm not sure if I got a bad copy but my issue was full of typographical errors and repeated line printings. I'm not a grammarian but it also was poorly written for a published novel. There were few spicy tidbits that could largely be chalked up to heresay. I actually found it more interesting to read about the technical aspects of SBTB production than some of the salacious details, like how Screech used to troll Disneyland for girls. Overall, Dustin Diamond comes off as a bitter, sad individual desperate to hold onto whatever fading fame he has left regardless of the consequences or whom he hurts. Oh, and apparently he has a monster dong. He wanted to make that point very clear. Its probably a must read for super fans of SBTB but everyone else should probably pass.
November 17, 2009
The only dirt to be found in 300 pages: 1. Zack did 'roids during "The College Years (or as Screech aptly puts it, 'Semester')." 2. Max from The Max had a gay affair with Neil "Doogie Howser M.D." Patrick Harris. Why would you only give literally one sentence to possibly interesting stories like playing chess with Will Smith or getting Christmas presents from Johnny Cash, and then devote entire chapters to trying to pick up chicks at Disneyland or smoking weed for the first time? At least he acknowledges how unintentionally funny the "I'm so excited! I'm so... scared!" scene where Jessie freaks out on caffeine pills was.
Also I forgot to mention he claims Kelly alternated banging Zack and Slater, but I think we all guessed that years ago.
Also I forgot to mention he claims Kelly alternated banging Zack and Slater, but I think we all guessed that years ago.
July 26, 2012
Blows on so many levels: sloppy, all types of misogynistic/myopic/disgusting, and still manages to be BORING. Occasionally interesting for finding out about set hijinks, but Jesus Christ, NOT WORTH IT for the amount of clunky, smarmy pages in between. Skipped several chapters.
Just read other reviews, as they are more hilarious than the source. I feel like picketing his stand-up shows with a sign that says, "THIS GUY'S BOOK SUCKS / FEMALES, DO NOT BLOW HIM LIKE HE PURPORTS YOU WILL"
But please, do not buy -- no more money to "first-time author" and bitter, entitled nerd (as we'd expected, and as he delivers) Dustin Diamond's vanity publishing enterprise. My roommate lent me his copy, just ask me for it.
Just read other reviews, as they are more hilarious than the source. I feel like picketing his stand-up shows with a sign that says, "THIS GUY'S BOOK SUCKS / FEMALES, DO NOT BLOW HIM LIKE HE PURPORTS YOU WILL"
But please, do not buy -- no more money to "first-time author" and bitter, entitled nerd (as we'd expected, and as he delivers) Dustin Diamond's vanity publishing enterprise. My roommate lent me his copy, just ask me for it.
April 23, 2010
I feel dirty all over.
December 7, 2020
This was a sad, bitter book written by a sad, bitter man. It starts off by slamming the other Saved By The Bell cast while Diamond tries to paint himself as the heart and soul of the show. There's a very cool section where he explains how things worked behind-the-scenes with the writing, table reading, filming, how the lights were set up, etc. That is what interested me and was what I thought the book would mostly be about. But what we have here is am excluded kid with a victim mentality who never grew up and spends pages discussing his conquests at Disneyland and his, and I quote, "humongous dong." Hard pass.
April 27, 2024
I read this after hearing Screech from Saved by the Bell" had passed away in 2021 at the age of 44 from cancer. ( I saw it in his wiki ).
This book is poorly written and has mostly been debunked by his castmates as untrue. His life story is a sad one. He died penniless and never found Celebrity after Saved by the Bell. He could of invested his money and lived a healthier life but Hollywood has a way of destroying some people imo.
This book is poorly written and has mostly been debunked by his castmates as untrue. His life story is a sad one. He died penniless and never found Celebrity after Saved by the Bell. He could of invested his money and lived a healthier life but Hollywood has a way of destroying some people imo.
May 11, 2012
In Dustin Diamond’s memoir about his time as Screech on the much-mocked and much-beloved (ironically?) 80s sitcom Saved by the Bell (as well as its spin-offs), he takes a no-holds barred approach to spilling the dirt on his cast mates. Diamond recounts his days on the set with his much-older peers, his brushes with other celebrities of the day (as much as Jaleel “Urkel” White can be counted as a celebrity), and his myriad sexual encounters with women. Be prepared, readers, for you’re in for a bumpy ride.
There are so many problems with Diamond’s memoir that it’s hard to know where to start. This might be the biggest disasterpiece I’ve ever read (and I’ve read a lot of really, really crappy books). Perhaps the biggest problem is that from the onset, Diamond presents himself of the voice of authority and experience. This is even present in the book’s subtitle, which states that it goes “behind the scenes of Saved by the Bell with the guy who was there for everything.” The problem is that not only was Diamond not there for most things, but he’s clearly also delusional, or a pathological liar. That works for Diamond’s purposes, though, because the only way that readers are going to believe the contents of this book is if they are very stupid or total superfans who want to be scandalized.
The fact remains, though, that Diamond doesn’t present anything particularly scandalous or shocking, and the allegations he does make are not backed up by facts or anecdotes or even tidbits of stories. All of the alleged bad behavior that went on onset is the stuff of normal teenagerdom, and it becomes clear, early on, that Diamond wasn’t actually present for any of it. Once readers realize this, the book alternately bores and grosses out.
Diamond is incredibly bitter about his entire life, and much of his vitriol is aimed at his fellow cast members. There doesn’t seem to be any legitimate reason for Diamond’s hatred of his costars, but it’s present all the same. He takes them all to task for various reasons: Mark-Paul Gosselaar was fawned over by the producers and was thus “the Golden Child;” Mario Lopez was a womanizer who started working out too early in life; Tiffani-Amber Thiessen was a whore; etc. Particularly disturbing is Diamond’s weird obsession with Gosselaar’s heritage: more than once, he makes comments about Gosselaar’s Thai heritage that are blatantly racist. There are moments where you realize that this can’t all be true: there’s several anecdotes about Diamond playing around with Lopez and Gosselaar on set, and when he had a stalker, he lived with Thiessen and her family until the situation was handled. These things don’t add up.
If the book were being honest–if, indeed, Diamond could be honest with himself–this memoir would talk about the fact that Diamond was on a show where he was surrounded by people both older and cooler than him, and that despite his desperate desire to belong, he never did. This would be an interesting memoir: one in which Diamond is capable of being both vulnerable and self-reflective. Of course, none of that is present here, as Diamond puts on an air of smugness and weird superiority from the first line.
Instead of offering any sort of actual content, though, Diamond prefers to focus on sex. He spends a great deal of time hinting at all the sex his cast members were having with one another, but there’s no evidence to support this. There’s a fairly lengthy passage where Diamond makes the claim that he’s pretty sure both Gosselaar and Thiessen were having a threesome with producer Peter Engel in order to curry favor. In these (frankly, imagined) scenes, Diamond sits outside the office and stares at a closed door. Never is it more clear that most of–if not all–this is in his head.
This review wouldn’t be complete if I didn’t talk about Diamond’s preoccupation with sex. In the memoir, he claims to have slept with over 2,000 women, the majority of whom he picked up at Disneyworld. Diamond also repeatedly refers to his penis as “the monster in [his] trousers.” It’s not the claims that I take issue with–I don’t really care if he’s slept with that many people, and it’s certainly not my business–it’s the vulgar way he goes about describing these encounters. He talks about women he’s slept with with the kind of callousness you expect from some drunk old douche in a bar, and his disregard for them as human beings is repulsive. All of this frank discussion about sex hints at what is really going on, of course. Saved by the Bell took away his sexuality (watch an episode–any episode–of SbtB and you’ll see it immediately), and Diamond is on a mission to reassert his masculinity and sexuality. It’s gross and sad and more than a little pathetic.
This revisionist history of the cult-classic 80′s sitcom is worth skipping, even for the die-hard fan. Diamond’s recounting of his time on the show and his life afterwards is almost impossible to slog through. It’s not just his insufferable tone or the fact that he’s clearly lying: the book is not well-written and doesn’t appear to have been edited at all. Mistakes and typos abound. With nothing new to offer readers, nothing about this memoir is worth reading. Pass on it, and watch the series again instead.
Behind the Bell by Dustin Diamond. Transit Publishing: 2009. Borrowed copy.
There are so many problems with Diamond’s memoir that it’s hard to know where to start. This might be the biggest disasterpiece I’ve ever read (and I’ve read a lot of really, really crappy books). Perhaps the biggest problem is that from the onset, Diamond presents himself of the voice of authority and experience. This is even present in the book’s subtitle, which states that it goes “behind the scenes of Saved by the Bell with the guy who was there for everything.” The problem is that not only was Diamond not there for most things, but he’s clearly also delusional, or a pathological liar. That works for Diamond’s purposes, though, because the only way that readers are going to believe the contents of this book is if they are very stupid or total superfans who want to be scandalized.
The fact remains, though, that Diamond doesn’t present anything particularly scandalous or shocking, and the allegations he does make are not backed up by facts or anecdotes or even tidbits of stories. All of the alleged bad behavior that went on onset is the stuff of normal teenagerdom, and it becomes clear, early on, that Diamond wasn’t actually present for any of it. Once readers realize this, the book alternately bores and grosses out.
Diamond is incredibly bitter about his entire life, and much of his vitriol is aimed at his fellow cast members. There doesn’t seem to be any legitimate reason for Diamond’s hatred of his costars, but it’s present all the same. He takes them all to task for various reasons: Mark-Paul Gosselaar was fawned over by the producers and was thus “the Golden Child;” Mario Lopez was a womanizer who started working out too early in life; Tiffani-Amber Thiessen was a whore; etc. Particularly disturbing is Diamond’s weird obsession with Gosselaar’s heritage: more than once, he makes comments about Gosselaar’s Thai heritage that are blatantly racist. There are moments where you realize that this can’t all be true: there’s several anecdotes about Diamond playing around with Lopez and Gosselaar on set, and when he had a stalker, he lived with Thiessen and her family until the situation was handled. These things don’t add up.
If the book were being honest–if, indeed, Diamond could be honest with himself–this memoir would talk about the fact that Diamond was on a show where he was surrounded by people both older and cooler than him, and that despite his desperate desire to belong, he never did. This would be an interesting memoir: one in which Diamond is capable of being both vulnerable and self-reflective. Of course, none of that is present here, as Diamond puts on an air of smugness and weird superiority from the first line.
Instead of offering any sort of actual content, though, Diamond prefers to focus on sex. He spends a great deal of time hinting at all the sex his cast members were having with one another, but there’s no evidence to support this. There’s a fairly lengthy passage where Diamond makes the claim that he’s pretty sure both Gosselaar and Thiessen were having a threesome with producer Peter Engel in order to curry favor. In these (frankly, imagined) scenes, Diamond sits outside the office and stares at a closed door. Never is it more clear that most of–if not all–this is in his head.
This review wouldn’t be complete if I didn’t talk about Diamond’s preoccupation with sex. In the memoir, he claims to have slept with over 2,000 women, the majority of whom he picked up at Disneyworld. Diamond also repeatedly refers to his penis as “the monster in [his] trousers.” It’s not the claims that I take issue with–I don’t really care if he’s slept with that many people, and it’s certainly not my business–it’s the vulgar way he goes about describing these encounters. He talks about women he’s slept with with the kind of callousness you expect from some drunk old douche in a bar, and his disregard for them as human beings is repulsive. All of this frank discussion about sex hints at what is really going on, of course. Saved by the Bell took away his sexuality (watch an episode–any episode–of SbtB and you’ll see it immediately), and Diamond is on a mission to reassert his masculinity and sexuality. It’s gross and sad and more than a little pathetic.
This revisionist history of the cult-classic 80′s sitcom is worth skipping, even for the die-hard fan. Diamond’s recounting of his time on the show and his life afterwards is almost impossible to slog through. It’s not just his insufferable tone or the fact that he’s clearly lying: the book is not well-written and doesn’t appear to have been edited at all. Mistakes and typos abound. With nothing new to offer readers, nothing about this memoir is worth reading. Pass on it, and watch the series again instead.
Behind the Bell by Dustin Diamond. Transit Publishing: 2009. Borrowed copy.
April 23, 2021
Once I start a book I HAVE to finish. Honestly this book started out great to me! Drama, which is what I wanted.
But as the pages DRAGGED on, it was jibber jabber and alot of jumping around between time periods that's hard to keep up with.
I now know why none of his cast mates cared he was dying, which is why I picked up the book to begin with.
Don't waste your time.
But as the pages DRAGGED on, it was jibber jabber and alot of jumping around between time periods that's hard to keep up with.
I now know why none of his cast mates cared he was dying, which is why I picked up the book to begin with.
Don't waste your time.
February 7, 2012
I get just as much a kick out of reading other reviews of this book as I did reading it. Most people don’t believe Dustin Diamond’s exploits, foul mouth, big dong, strong dislike for his fellow SBTB cast mates, copious use of the word “douchebag”, the fact that he picked up chicks at Disneyland, or the fact that he banged 2,000 women. I have no problem believing any of this. I find Dustin obnoxious, yes, but I also find him refreshingly real. He is one bitter dude. I can feel it jump off the page like so many teen girls off his fingers at Disneyland. This is hilarious stuff. From the aimless ranting, topic switching, disorganized randomness to the horrific editing and many, many typos and typesetting problems to the fact that this is SCREECH we’re talking about!
Dustin spends most of the book condemning the actions of others while defending his own. It’s like he really doesn’t see that he was just as bad as he’s claiming Mark-Paul, Mario, and Tiffani Amber were. Even the few people Dustin claims to like (rather, not totally hate) he throws under the bus. There’s an odd section of the book where Dustin names other celebrities and talks about their level of douchiness. Kevin from The Wonder Years = douche. Gary Coleman = bitter (no duh). Neil Patrick Harris = gay (again, no duh). It’s such a random part of the book and has no reason being there; it’s just filler between calling Mario and Mark-Paul douchebags and calling Tiffani a whore. He also glosses over things you want to hear more about yet spends chapters and chapters on how many women he slept with and how he got high. I enjoyed hearing about the inner workings of making a TV show and wish he spent more time on that and less on trashing people which he honestly could have condensed into one or two chapters.
You know, I like Dustin’s sense of humor. His sense of entitlement… now that’s not for us to judge. It sounds like he has the right to be a little angry and it’s no wonder he carries animosity to this day. You don’t have to like SBTB to find this hilarious. That is if you enjoy train wrecks and aren’t easily offended by naughty words. This guys sounds like a trip.
May 20, 2016
Overall, I'd say it wasn't as bad as I was expecting, but a lot of it was ridiculous. Throughout the book he talked about his many sexual exploits behind the scenes while playing a nerd of epic proportions on TV. But who cares? Honestly. What was it like being in such an epic TV show for so long? What were your favorite episodes? What was it like being a child actor? How was it growing up in San Jose and then moving to LA to be an actor so young? Was it hard to leave your friends? He touched on some of these things in the book, but most of it was about "Screech" hooking up in real life, talking very loose smack about his costars, and providing random lists of celebrities that were huge Screech fans. It felt as desperate and immature as Justin Bieber writing that Anne Frank would've been a Belieber. I read yesterday that Dustin Diamond had done an interview with Mario Lopez (AC Slater) the day before where he said that he didn't actually write this book, which has caused his fallout with the other SBTB cast members and his not being invited to participate in show reunions. Instead he says that he met with a ghost writer to write a book, but then that ghost writer went rogue and wrote the Tell All book. Maybe it's true? Maybe it's false? Saying this seven years after a book was published seems a bit late to the party, but who knows? As is, there were some interesting tidbits in this book that is buried amidst pages of complete and utterly irrelevant/uninteresting rubbish.
September 28, 2013
This book was so ridiculous and a little confusing. This guy spends the entire time whining about what "douchebags" his cast members are. (a phrase he seems to coin all throughout the book, and I thought people stopped saying douchebag around the time the original saved by the bell went off the air) Then does the exact same thing that he claims made them such jerks in the first place but tries to play it off like if he does it it's okay. They were all drinking and doing drugs and having sex with everything with a pulse and I think this guy was just pissed cause he had to get drunk and high and pick up promiscuous teenage runaways all by himself. I'm also a little confused about his reference to the child actor who he says played Uncle Fester on the 60's show the Munsters. This was before my time but I don't remember an Uncle Fester from the Munster, I do recall one from the Addams Family. If I'm wrong please let me know. I also noticed numerous typos and an entire paragraph that repeats itself. I think this author should spend less time talking about his supposedly (huge) privates and more time finding a better editor.
October 18, 2022
Those who grew up in the late 1980s and early 1990s and who watched Saturday morning Kids TV might remember a popular show on NBC...Saved By the Bell....well this is Dustin Diamond's take on the show and on life.
If you are looking for a tell-all,. this might fit the bill. Read the behind the scenes antics of Dustin as well as his co-stars and the goings of what made Saved By the Bell tick as well as its spin-offs.
If you are looking for a tell-all,. this might fit the bill. Read the behind the scenes antics of Dustin as well as his co-stars and the goings of what made Saved By the Bell tick as well as its spin-offs.
September 2, 2017
okay well I've always been curious if it's as entertaining of a reed as I've heard. If you've ever been curious about how many women Dustin Diamond managed to sleep with at Disney World this book is for you. he seems to trash-talk everybody he's ever worked with and has managed to make himself look like a total douche.
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