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Negative Space
"Dancyger crafts a striking composition out of found objects, a poignant portrait of the identities we construct out of grief."--Oprah Daily
"Candid, thrilling, wickedly smart, Negative Space is one of the greatest memoirs of this, or any, time." --T Kira Madden, author of Long Live the Tribe of Fatherless Girls
Despite her parents' struggles with addiction, Lilly Dancyger always thought of her childhood as a happy one. But what happens when a journalist interrogates her own rosy memories to reveal the instability around the edges?
Dancyger's father, Joe Schactman, was part of the iconic 1980s East Village art scene. He created provocative sculptures out of found materials, and brought his young daughter into his gritty, iconoclastic world. She idolized him--despite the escalating heroin addiction that sometimes overshadowed his creative passion. When Schactman died suddenly, just as Dancyger was entering adolescence, she went into her own self-destructive spiral, raging against the world that had taken him away. But as an adult, Dancyger began to question the mythology she'd created about her father--the brilliant artist, struck down in his prime--using his paintings, sculptures, and prints as a guide to piece together a truer story.
Featuring Schactman's artwork throughout, Negative Space explores Dancyger's grief, anger, and artistic inheritance as she sets out to illuminate the darkness her father hid from her, as well as her own.
"Negative Space is a beautiful restoration act." --Lidia Yuknavitch, author of The Chronology of Water
"This book is so many a daughter's heartrending tribute, a love story riddled by addiction, a mystery whose solution lies at the intersection of art and memory. Together, they form a chorus that I could not turn away from, and didn't wish to." --Melissa Febos, author of Whip Smart and Abandon Me
"Dancyger creates an unflinching account of her artist father's snakebitten life and his struggles with addiction - peeling back the layers around an artistic practice that seems weighted with vulnerability. Ultimately, he comes painfully alive as Dancyger charts an elegiac path to her own self-discovery." --Cynthia Carr, author of Fire in the The Life and Times of David Wojnarowicz
"Negative Space is a lovely and heartbreaking book; navigating pain, inheritance, and loss. Dancyger's father emerges from these pages as vividly as if I'd known him." --Carmen Maria Machado, author of In the Dream House
"This book is a true accomplishment, one that often left me stunned and disturbed in all the right ways, all the ways brilliant art does." --Alex Marzano-Lesnevich, author of The Fact of a Body
"Dancyger achieves that beautiful, often elusive, balance of writing about addiction with equal parts examination and empathy." --Erin Khar, author of Strung Out
"Negative Space is a brilliant, moving, unique, thought-provoking meditation on the artistic life, fathers and daughters, and the struggle to live life at the highest pitch in each generation." - Mark Greif, author of Against Everything
For readers of The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls and The Night of the Gun by David Carr.
"Candid, thrilling, wickedly smart, Negative Space is one of the greatest memoirs of this, or any, time." --T Kira Madden, author of Long Live the Tribe of Fatherless Girls
Despite her parents' struggles with addiction, Lilly Dancyger always thought of her childhood as a happy one. But what happens when a journalist interrogates her own rosy memories to reveal the instability around the edges?
Dancyger's father, Joe Schactman, was part of the iconic 1980s East Village art scene. He created provocative sculptures out of found materials, and brought his young daughter into his gritty, iconoclastic world. She idolized him--despite the escalating heroin addiction that sometimes overshadowed his creative passion. When Schactman died suddenly, just as Dancyger was entering adolescence, she went into her own self-destructive spiral, raging against the world that had taken him away. But as an adult, Dancyger began to question the mythology she'd created about her father--the brilliant artist, struck down in his prime--using his paintings, sculptures, and prints as a guide to piece together a truer story.
Featuring Schactman's artwork throughout, Negative Space explores Dancyger's grief, anger, and artistic inheritance as she sets out to illuminate the darkness her father hid from her, as well as her own.
"Negative Space is a beautiful restoration act." --Lidia Yuknavitch, author of The Chronology of Water
"This book is so many a daughter's heartrending tribute, a love story riddled by addiction, a mystery whose solution lies at the intersection of art and memory. Together, they form a chorus that I could not turn away from, and didn't wish to." --Melissa Febos, author of Whip Smart and Abandon Me
"Dancyger creates an unflinching account of her artist father's snakebitten life and his struggles with addiction - peeling back the layers around an artistic practice that seems weighted with vulnerability. Ultimately, he comes painfully alive as Dancyger charts an elegiac path to her own self-discovery." --Cynthia Carr, author of Fire in the The Life and Times of David Wojnarowicz
"Negative Space is a lovely and heartbreaking book; navigating pain, inheritance, and loss. Dancyger's father emerges from these pages as vividly as if I'd known him." --Carmen Maria Machado, author of In the Dream House
"This book is a true accomplishment, one that often left me stunned and disturbed in all the right ways, all the ways brilliant art does." --Alex Marzano-Lesnevich, author of The Fact of a Body
"Dancyger achieves that beautiful, often elusive, balance of writing about addiction with equal parts examination and empathy." --Erin Khar, author of Strung Out
"Negative Space is a brilliant, moving, unique, thought-provoking meditation on the artistic life, fathers and daughters, and the struggle to live life at the highest pitch in each generation." - Mark Greif, author of Against Everything
For readers of The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls and The Night of the Gun by David Carr.
296 pages, Paperback
First published May 1, 2021
About the author
Lilly Dancyger
3 books261 followersLilly Dancyger is the author of Negative Space (2021), a reported and illustrated memoir selected by Carmen Maria Machado as a winner of the Santa Fe Writers Project Literary Awards; and First Love, a collection of personal and critical essays about the power and complexity of female friendship, forthcoming from The Dial Press in Spring 2024. She is also the editor of Burn It Down (2019), a critically acclaimed anthology of essays on women’s anger, and her writing has been published by Guernica, Literary Hub, The Rumpus, Longreads, Off Assignment, The Washington Post, Playboy, Rolling Stone, and more. She lives in New York City.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 135 reviews
August 20, 2021
Absolutely, breathtakingly brilliant. I am so glad I read this and I want everyone to read this.
This is impeccably structured in a way that blew my mind, the self reflection at the core of this made me realize what memoirs can do, the inclusion of art is necessary and so helpful in grounding this, and I just loved this a whole lot, even the more sentimental parts.
This is impeccably structured in a way that blew my mind, the self reflection at the core of this made me realize what memoirs can do, the inclusion of art is necessary and so helpful in grounding this, and I just loved this a whole lot, even the more sentimental parts.
September 12, 2020
Lucky enough to read an early copy, and I know already this is my favorite 2021 book (and easily a favorite memoir of my life). Incredible. Formally innovative, brilliant, present, so candid and felt. I know this book took the author a decade (maybe more?) to write, and that's clear on the page by the depth of writing, thought, and exploration. A game changer.
March 14, 2021
Fucking wow. This book was extraordinary. It is a masterful example of memoir - I am going to make all my students read it to learn how to write compelling imagined scenes, how to research loved ones who are no longer alive, how to handle holes and conflicts in memory, and how to tell a damn good story.
April 13, 2021
'Negative Space' is really a special book. Part memoir, part-investigative journalism into her father's addiction, and part treatise on the art of self-creation - Dancyger has created a work as addictive and consuming as the love she investigates.
In a simple, descriptive sense - Dancyger's father died at 43, after years of being a heroin user. A noted Lower East Side artist, all that she had to remember and preserve him was his cannon of artwork, her memories, and some old notebooks. By interviewing those close to him, she attempts to unravel the edges of his art, addiction, and philosophies to decode both her father and her childhood.
The book shifts from memoir to artist portrait and back, deftly weaving together the relationships between father and daughter, teacher and student, betrayal and honor. It gently hovers above these notions while painting a vivid picture of what it was like to grow up in grit the Lower East Side, child to two drug addicts who are not demonized, but loving parents trying to do their best.
Very rarely will you read a memoir with such cutting honesty, brave introspection, and confidence. I had a hard time putting this down, and am just stunned at the work itself. Highly recommend.
In a simple, descriptive sense - Dancyger's father died at 43, after years of being a heroin user. A noted Lower East Side artist, all that she had to remember and preserve him was his cannon of artwork, her memories, and some old notebooks. By interviewing those close to him, she attempts to unravel the edges of his art, addiction, and philosophies to decode both her father and her childhood.
The book shifts from memoir to artist portrait and back, deftly weaving together the relationships between father and daughter, teacher and student, betrayal and honor. It gently hovers above these notions while painting a vivid picture of what it was like to grow up in grit the Lower East Side, child to two drug addicts who are not demonized, but loving parents trying to do their best.
Very rarely will you read a memoir with such cutting honesty, brave introspection, and confidence. I had a hard time putting this down, and am just stunned at the work itself. Highly recommend.
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June 9, 2021I can't remember the last time I read a book cover to cover over a single weekend. Part memoir, part critical art analysis, Dancyger's book explores her life and her parents' lives through the lens of the punk/art/misfit culture and history of New York City's Lower East Side and East Village art scene of the 70s, 80s, and 90s. Her book will connect with anyone who has experienced the grief, the anger, and the beyond-your-years wisdom that comes with dealing with a parent or loved one who struggles with addiction.
September 25, 2021
phew. this was heartbreaking, but filled with so much love.
October 13, 2020
Memoir of 2021. On grief, addiction, growing up in NYC Lilly honors the special relationship of father and daughter. So much to unpack to highlight. Need more time to process my thoughts but highly recommend. Highlighted so many beautiful sentences. Please add to your most anticipated for 2021!
April 25, 2021
*I received a free advanced review copy of this book from the publisher in exchange for an honest review.*
I started this book on the subway. I was on my way into Manhattan to see The Father, an Oscar-nominated movie, and I only had vague ideas about what both the movie and book were about.
Fast forward to me speed reading to finish Negative Space, and lapping up every word of it. I typically like to listen to memoirs on audiobook, but reading a physical copy of this book got me so much more engrossed in the story.
It revolves around the author’s father, who died when she was a pre-teen. He was an addict, and the book is about her exploration into his death and art in her adulthood. It was fascinating how she was able to see the art, speak to people her father knew, and try to construct her father’s life for him. Dancyger writes with such knowledge and insight about New York, both when her father lived there and when she did, that I got the same feeling I had when I read Just Kids by Patti Smith - like I was there with her. The memoir was full of grief, anger, and the kind of love that only a parent and daughter can have together.
I don’t typically like to rate or review memoirs; it feels like giving a number or gold star to someone’s life. I hope it is sufficient when I write that this was incredibly haunting, moving, and a lot of other things, and that I will probably still be thinking about this book for a long time.
I started this book on the subway. I was on my way into Manhattan to see The Father, an Oscar-nominated movie, and I only had vague ideas about what both the movie and book were about.
Fast forward to me speed reading to finish Negative Space, and lapping up every word of it. I typically like to listen to memoirs on audiobook, but reading a physical copy of this book got me so much more engrossed in the story.
It revolves around the author’s father, who died when she was a pre-teen. He was an addict, and the book is about her exploration into his death and art in her adulthood. It was fascinating how she was able to see the art, speak to people her father knew, and try to construct her father’s life for him. Dancyger writes with such knowledge and insight about New York, both when her father lived there and when she did, that I got the same feeling I had when I read Just Kids by Patti Smith - like I was there with her. The memoir was full of grief, anger, and the kind of love that only a parent and daughter can have together.
I don’t typically like to rate or review memoirs; it feels like giving a number or gold star to someone’s life. I hope it is sufficient when I write that this was incredibly haunting, moving, and a lot of other things, and that I will probably still be thinking about this book for a long time.
June 11, 2021
I've been looking forward to reading this book for so long that by the time I finally held my copy in my hands, I was almost afraid to start. I knew Lilly was a brilliant writer, and I also knew that the subject matter would hit home for me in a number of ways - my expectations were so high for this book, and I knew I'd be incredibly disappointed if I didn't love it.
Fortunately, Negative Space is one of the most compelling memoirs I've ever read. Lilly does a brilliant job weaving together the life of her father with her own personal narrative, dancing back and forth between past and present, deftly exploring her father's relationship with his art while also examining her own desire to carve out a life of her own. Telling so many stories at once can be tricky, or end up muddling the emotional impact of each thread, yet the writing is so beautiful, the storytelling so sharp, that it's easy to get completely immersed in the world Lilly builds. She paints such a clear, unflinching picture of her father: the good and the bad, the messy and the uncertain, the kind and the harsh. Her love for him is clear, and she helps us fall in love with him too.
As someone that has lost a family member to a heroin addiction, I'm blown away by how perfectly Lilly managed to capture that impossible sense of anger and longing, the complicated dynamics of loving someone that is trapped in a vicious and harmful cycle. Not only is this book brilliant, but it also feels important, as a window into the challenges and heartbreak of loving an addict. I'm deeply grateful to Lilly for telling her story with so much poise and grace, for not being afraid to really grapple with the realities of her father's life as well as his death.
While Lilly does a wonderful job describing her father's art in detail, I'm so delighted that images of the artwork are included throughout the book. It feels essential to be able to see his pieces right there on the page, to have a sense of what Joe was creating, to understand his vision through the mediums that he chose. And having family photos after those stunning final pages felt perfectly, completely correct.
Truly cannot recommend this book highly enough. I am already looking forward to reading it again.
Fortunately, Negative Space is one of the most compelling memoirs I've ever read. Lilly does a brilliant job weaving together the life of her father with her own personal narrative, dancing back and forth between past and present, deftly exploring her father's relationship with his art while also examining her own desire to carve out a life of her own. Telling so many stories at once can be tricky, or end up muddling the emotional impact of each thread, yet the writing is so beautiful, the storytelling so sharp, that it's easy to get completely immersed in the world Lilly builds. She paints such a clear, unflinching picture of her father: the good and the bad, the messy and the uncertain, the kind and the harsh. Her love for him is clear, and she helps us fall in love with him too.
As someone that has lost a family member to a heroin addiction, I'm blown away by how perfectly Lilly managed to capture that impossible sense of anger and longing, the complicated dynamics of loving someone that is trapped in a vicious and harmful cycle. Not only is this book brilliant, but it also feels important, as a window into the challenges and heartbreak of loving an addict. I'm deeply grateful to Lilly for telling her story with so much poise and grace, for not being afraid to really grapple with the realities of her father's life as well as his death.
While Lilly does a wonderful job describing her father's art in detail, I'm so delighted that images of the artwork are included throughout the book. It feels essential to be able to see his pieces right there on the page, to have a sense of what Joe was creating, to understand his vision through the mediums that he chose. And having family photos after those stunning final pages felt perfectly, completely correct.
Truly cannot recommend this book highly enough. I am already looking forward to reading it again.
April 24, 2021
“I had a happy childhood, and my parents were junkies. Both of these things are true.”
Negative Space was a lucky find from a Free Little Library, and I’m so glad I snatched it when I did.
Lilly Dancyger lost her father at the age of 12, and spends many of her adult years investigating his life through his artwork and the people he left behind. Not only does she learn more about his creative drives, but she also learns about the demon that was his demise: his addiction to heroin.
Negative Space made me feel so many emotions while I was reading it, and I’m still trying to piece them all together. The author has such a beautiful way of telling her story that every emotion she felt, I felt too as I read it. While reading this memoir, you see the growth of an angsty preteen to a young woman discovering how the life and death of her father shaped who she is today.
Truly incredible, will recommend to everyone.
Negative Space was a lucky find from a Free Little Library, and I’m so glad I snatched it when I did.
Lilly Dancyger lost her father at the age of 12, and spends many of her adult years investigating his life through his artwork and the people he left behind. Not only does she learn more about his creative drives, but she also learns about the demon that was his demise: his addiction to heroin.
Negative Space made me feel so many emotions while I was reading it, and I’m still trying to piece them all together. The author has such a beautiful way of telling her story that every emotion she felt, I felt too as I read it. While reading this memoir, you see the growth of an angsty preteen to a young woman discovering how the life and death of her father shaped who she is today.
Truly incredible, will recommend to everyone.
November 7, 2022
I am a huge fan of memoirs, and this one really looked interesting me. Lilly’s father died when she was just a child, and she investigates his life and pieces what she finds out together with the art he left behind.
I liked the descriptions of his art, his thoughts behind it, and her appreciation for it. I thought her life was interesting but ultimately the timeline and pacing really slowed me down. Many of the time jumps started to feel repetitive- as one thing worked out in present day and then we jump back to before it, it started to be a bit sluggish.
Lilly had some beautiful writing and I enjoyed that. I think for me it was just the flow and overall story that held me back. I mean reflecting on addiction and infidelity over and over again can feel bleak. A bit repetitive but still good.
3.5 stars
I liked the descriptions of his art, his thoughts behind it, and her appreciation for it. I thought her life was interesting but ultimately the timeline and pacing really slowed me down. Many of the time jumps started to feel repetitive- as one thing worked out in present day and then we jump back to before it, it started to be a bit sluggish.
Lilly had some beautiful writing and I enjoyed that. I think for me it was just the flow and overall story that held me back. I mean reflecting on addiction and infidelity over and over again can feel bleak. A bit repetitive but still good.
3.5 stars
August 4, 2020
Lilly Dancyger is a writer who goes on a quest to get to know her artist father who died when she was young, that will help her understand her childhood and how it made her who she is today. This is an amazing reported memoir that takes us back to the 80s artistic scene in New York City, to a pre-gentrification era, it is also about looking back at our parents and see them as flawed, complex adults. Lilly lets go of her ghosts, she faces her parents' struggle with addiction, she questions what was and what could have been. Masterfully written (no wonder Carmen Maria Machado selected "Negative Space" as a winner of the Santa Fe Writers Project 2019 Literary Awards), Dancyger's memoir is a page turner, the details in this book stayed with me, I dare you to put it down.
July 5, 2022
Negative Space by Lilly Dancyger is a marvelous tribute to her artist father. She weaves their family story, one of addiction and art, into a healing manifesto of her deep love for her father. With her mother sharing the family stories through time, and friends of her father who she interviews, she finds facts of his life from before he met her mother and into the intimate aspects of their life. It is a healing journey through grief.
Drawn into this book through the grit of the Lower East Side, I remember from my time in NYC, and the quest to be an artist from the outsider perspective, I loved how she was able to validate both his life and his art. And how she created her own artistic life as a writer through the lens of her father. It is also bi-coastal, for a time they lived in California, a painful time of a separation. Moved back to NYC with her mother, she skipped high school, eventually getting a GED, and with the experience of reading her father's books she was accepted at the New School, then accepted into Columbia to study journalism, in both schools she felt out of place. She was more at home working in the local bar on the Lower East Side (LES), where she worked her way up to being a bartender, the position with the most flexibility for her school schedule. This is a story of how the drive to be an artist perseveres, and a story of healing.
She went through a period using coke, and stopped. She wrote, "Now that I knew that I wasn't just doing coke for fun but that I'd fallen into the same trap I spent my childhood watching my parents try to climb out of, I couldn't do it anymore. The part of me that wanted to not repeat the pattern was stronger than the part of me that liked being high."
Another quote, "I still don't really know what stability means, or if it's a real thing that's possible to attain. But I know that when you don't have it, it seems like the promise of safety. Like redemption. But it can also feel impossible—the steps that are necessary to reach it don't come naturally if they're not what you're used to, like joining a dance class three weeks into their study of a new combination. When you don't know how to do the things you're expected to do, it can be so much easier to declare them bullshit and say you never wanted to be a part of it anyway. But how sweet to fall into step, to feel like maybe you know what you're doing just enough to fake your way to that magic place called stability, where you'll finally be able to let your guard down."
She learns so much about her families choices that she was unaware of as a child. As is true for children in general, but growing up with a mother and father addicted to heroin formed her in ways she began to understand as she wrote this book and got to know her parents through her adult lens. It's a book she was compelled to write, and I'm so glad she did.
Drawn into this book through the grit of the Lower East Side, I remember from my time in NYC, and the quest to be an artist from the outsider perspective, I loved how she was able to validate both his life and his art. And how she created her own artistic life as a writer through the lens of her father. It is also bi-coastal, for a time they lived in California, a painful time of a separation. Moved back to NYC with her mother, she skipped high school, eventually getting a GED, and with the experience of reading her father's books she was accepted at the New School, then accepted into Columbia to study journalism, in both schools she felt out of place. She was more at home working in the local bar on the Lower East Side (LES), where she worked her way up to being a bartender, the position with the most flexibility for her school schedule. This is a story of how the drive to be an artist perseveres, and a story of healing.
She went through a period using coke, and stopped. She wrote, "Now that I knew that I wasn't just doing coke for fun but that I'd fallen into the same trap I spent my childhood watching my parents try to climb out of, I couldn't do it anymore. The part of me that wanted to not repeat the pattern was stronger than the part of me that liked being high."
Another quote, "I still don't really know what stability means, or if it's a real thing that's possible to attain. But I know that when you don't have it, it seems like the promise of safety. Like redemption. But it can also feel impossible—the steps that are necessary to reach it don't come naturally if they're not what you're used to, like joining a dance class three weeks into their study of a new combination. When you don't know how to do the things you're expected to do, it can be so much easier to declare them bullshit and say you never wanted to be a part of it anyway. But how sweet to fall into step, to feel like maybe you know what you're doing just enough to fake your way to that magic place called stability, where you'll finally be able to let your guard down."
She learns so much about her families choices that she was unaware of as a child. As is true for children in general, but growing up with a mother and father addicted to heroin formed her in ways she began to understand as she wrote this book and got to know her parents through her adult lens. It's a book she was compelled to write, and I'm so glad she did.
April 26, 2021
After having received this book from the publisher (Thank you, SFWP), and being in tears by the time I got to page three, I believed this would be a book I would want to read in its entirety.
This is the story of a Lilly Dancyger’s love for her father. It is a complicated story because, not only were both of her parents heroin addicts, but her father died when she was only eleven years old, and her dad was still a fairly young man. It’s hard to believe that the author waited until she was in college before opening her father’s notebooks to explore more about his life. I know there was grief after his death, but I doubt if I would have had the patience to wait as long as she did before she started learning more about him with those notebooks of his so close at hand.
I found it interesting that the author, a New York City high school dropout, found great pleasure in reading, especially the classics. It was her curiosity and love of reading and writing that ultimately led her to further education, writing, and to the creation of this book. Her father, Joseph Schachtman, was an artist whose strange and provocative art, a lot of it sculpture, was usually carefully crafted with odd items such as discarded objects of others or items found in nature, such as wood, hair, and even feathers from roadkill.
Lilly’s parents divorced at a time when her dad’s heroin use led to financial problems and complete lack of hygiene. Heroin use may or may not have been the direct cause of his death. That is not really clear, although lab tests showed he was clean when he died in bed at his own home
The loss of Lilly’s father at a young age put a spirit of longing in her to recapture him as he was. Through people who knew him and through his art, which she displayed with black-and-white photographs carefully arranged throughout the book, she gave honor to a fallible person she loved dearly. She was able to overlook her father’s faults and give praise where it was due.
One part of this memoir that brought me to tears was near the end where Lilly tells about her dad taking her to Friday night services “finding religion for the first time in his life”. I found that especially moving as I find comfort from time to time in religion as well.
I see that there was an inner warmth in Schachtman’s art work that appeared outwardly strange and unapproachable. In cataloguing and exhibiting her dad’s art work in this book and doing research among people who knew her dad, Lilly not only brought out that inner meaning for others to see but created a lasting record of his life’s work.
This is an honest, beautiful, and thought-provoking memoir unlike any other that I have read. While reading, I never missed an opportunity to stop and write down special passages that captured my heart. I liked the author’s idea that her father continues to talk to her through the art he created. This story was a pleasure to read.
This is the story of a Lilly Dancyger’s love for her father. It is a complicated story because, not only were both of her parents heroin addicts, but her father died when she was only eleven years old, and her dad was still a fairly young man. It’s hard to believe that the author waited until she was in college before opening her father’s notebooks to explore more about his life. I know there was grief after his death, but I doubt if I would have had the patience to wait as long as she did before she started learning more about him with those notebooks of his so close at hand.
I found it interesting that the author, a New York City high school dropout, found great pleasure in reading, especially the classics. It was her curiosity and love of reading and writing that ultimately led her to further education, writing, and to the creation of this book. Her father, Joseph Schachtman, was an artist whose strange and provocative art, a lot of it sculpture, was usually carefully crafted with odd items such as discarded objects of others or items found in nature, such as wood, hair, and even feathers from roadkill.
Lilly’s parents divorced at a time when her dad’s heroin use led to financial problems and complete lack of hygiene. Heroin use may or may not have been the direct cause of his death. That is not really clear, although lab tests showed he was clean when he died in bed at his own home
The loss of Lilly’s father at a young age put a spirit of longing in her to recapture him as he was. Through people who knew him and through his art, which she displayed with black-and-white photographs carefully arranged throughout the book, she gave honor to a fallible person she loved dearly. She was able to overlook her father’s faults and give praise where it was due.
One part of this memoir that brought me to tears was near the end where Lilly tells about her dad taking her to Friday night services “finding religion for the first time in his life”. I found that especially moving as I find comfort from time to time in religion as well.
I see that there was an inner warmth in Schachtman’s art work that appeared outwardly strange and unapproachable. In cataloguing and exhibiting her dad’s art work in this book and doing research among people who knew her dad, Lilly not only brought out that inner meaning for others to see but created a lasting record of his life’s work.
This is an honest, beautiful, and thought-provoking memoir unlike any other that I have read. While reading, I never missed an opportunity to stop and write down special passages that captured my heart. I liked the author’s idea that her father continues to talk to her through the art he created. This story was a pleasure to read.
November 16, 2021
Phenomenal book. As someone who lost her father recently and suddenly, I found it captured a sense of the pain of having one of the people who has been a source of great love and support ripped away without reason or explanation. Reconciling yourself to going on without that being an act of forgetting is an incredibly painful journey, and Dancyger finds her way to that place by continuing to explore her father's life and art as having meaning and being significant in a way that's both private to her and also larger because his life and work was so emblematic of the late 20th century world of outsider artists in NYC, in particular, and of the world of heroin addicts in NYC and SF.
I loved the interweaving of her father's story and hers, as she learned more about his life and how that updated knowledge changed, or didn't, her own memories of and understanding of him. I loved her blending of loving critical analysis of his work and the way that symbols from his work become incorporated into her life as well. I loved her use of interviews and investigating her own family archives of notes and letters as a way to get her dad's voice into the book. I loved how she reflected on the way losing her father had cast a shadow on her relationship with her mother -- when you're angry at the parent who remains because they aren't the parent who is gone, it can warp your understanding of their love for you. I loved how she thinks about inheritance -- how we can't ever be the parent we've lost, can't inhabit their being and become some living simulacrum of their spirit and way of seeing the world, but we can use what we got from them and fold that into ourselves.
I loved the sense of place Dancyger offers of both NYC and Northern California, and also the way that she honors her happy memories, and shares with us the fundamental thing that gave her a happy childhood -- her father loved her so much, and they found such joy together, despite all the ways in which his addiction and her parents' acrimonious split could have embittered her.
A beautiful book, and a wonderful work of honoring everything her father was, and especially the importance of his strange and beautiful artwork.
I loved the interweaving of her father's story and hers, as she learned more about his life and how that updated knowledge changed, or didn't, her own memories of and understanding of him. I loved her blending of loving critical analysis of his work and the way that symbols from his work become incorporated into her life as well. I loved her use of interviews and investigating her own family archives of notes and letters as a way to get her dad's voice into the book. I loved how she reflected on the way losing her father had cast a shadow on her relationship with her mother -- when you're angry at the parent who remains because they aren't the parent who is gone, it can warp your understanding of their love for you. I loved how she thinks about inheritance -- how we can't ever be the parent we've lost, can't inhabit their being and become some living simulacrum of their spirit and way of seeing the world, but we can use what we got from them and fold that into ourselves.
I loved the sense of place Dancyger offers of both NYC and Northern California, and also the way that she honors her happy memories, and shares with us the fundamental thing that gave her a happy childhood -- her father loved her so much, and they found such joy together, despite all the ways in which his addiction and her parents' acrimonious split could have embittered her.
A beautiful book, and a wonderful work of honoring everything her father was, and especially the importance of his strange and beautiful artwork.
January 16, 2022
An absolute all-timer. Negative Space came to me as a suggestion from an old professor after she read some of my more recent pages - I am so grateful to that twist of fate. It’s a stunning portrait of grief, memory, art, family, addiction, presence/absence and so much more. It leaps and lunges through the hard and ugly parts of loss, leaving so much beauty in its wake. There were times it felt so close to my own bones that I physically threw the book across the room in a knee jerk reaction. Lilly, if this little review finds you, I think we’d have quite the chat! If you’re reading this and you aren’t Lilly, go pick this up immediately, thanks!
June 15, 2021
I LOVED this book. Joe's art mixed into the pages was so lovely and Lilly's coverage of her relationship with her father and coming to terms with his addiction was beautifully written. As a child of an addict myself, I appreciated all of the emotional effort that it must have taken to put this together over the years. This was such a wonderful book.
January 15, 2022
Since my mother died last year, I seem to be attracting books about grief and the loss of loved ones. Most of the books were fiction, this was the first one that was non-fiction. It hit hard, even though my relationship with my parent was different than hers - who's relationship with their parent is the same person to person? - it still hit hard. Trying to find a parent through the things they leave behind is hard and the author did a beautiful job of finding him.
April 11, 2021
Lilly Dancyger's excellent style skillfully confronts disturbing topics in her memoir, Negative Space. Dancyger presents harsh details of two generations of drug addicts to frame a broader story with which many will identify, that of mourning, and coming to terms with, the loss of a less-than-perfect parent. The illustrations add interest and also provide context for Dancyger's early life. Her discussions of the illustrations as important symbols to her own existence provides the link she sought to her father. This book would suit book clubs that can discuss family (dys)function, addiction, and the lasting effect of addiction on the family environment. I’m pleased to have made Dancyger’s acquaintance through this read and will look for any future work from her.
May 1, 2021
I was lucky enough to get my hands on an advance copy of Negative Space. I read it in a single sitting because once I started there was no good stopping point - I had to get to the end.
Negative Space is a beautifully written account of the author’s evolving understanding of and reconciliation with her father’s complicated legacies of love, art, and addiction. Over the course of the memoir, Dancyger guides us through her experience uncovering new and sometimes uncomfortable truths about her family, which often challenge what she believed were the facts of her past. As readers, we accompany her as she struggles to reconcile her childhood memories with what she learns about her father, her parents’ tumultuous relationship, and their shared struggles with addiction. In bringing us along on this honest, self-reflective interrogation of her personal history, Dancyger provides insight into the difficult process of recognizing our heroes as human, and highlights the ways in which our lives are often shaped by the struggles of parents whose motives we might not understand or even be aware of as children.
Negative Space is a beautifully written account of the author’s evolving understanding of and reconciliation with her father’s complicated legacies of love, art, and addiction. Over the course of the memoir, Dancyger guides us through her experience uncovering new and sometimes uncomfortable truths about her family, which often challenge what she believed were the facts of her past. As readers, we accompany her as she struggles to reconcile her childhood memories with what she learns about her father, her parents’ tumultuous relationship, and their shared struggles with addiction. In bringing us along on this honest, self-reflective interrogation of her personal history, Dancyger provides insight into the difficult process of recognizing our heroes as human, and highlights the ways in which our lives are often shaped by the struggles of parents whose motives we might not understand or even be aware of as children.
May 4, 2021
Review pending, 10/10 recommend
April 9, 2021
Although I am a slow reader by nature, I devoured this book, even though I wanted to savor it. It's ok, because I know I'm going to read it over and over again, possibly starting my next read later today. As I work on my own memoir, this will be a mentor text I come back to again and agin.
Structurally, the way Lilly is able to tell several stories, all inextricably tied together but spanning several timelines is a wonder. There is not an extraneous sentence and nuggets of wisdom are scattered throughout with the same plain speak as all the other details.
Personally, although I'm several years older than Lilly, she was the angry teen I wanted to be and now the writer I yearn to be. I'm so glad to have this book.
Structurally, the way Lilly is able to tell several stories, all inextricably tied together but spanning several timelines is a wonder. There is not an extraneous sentence and nuggets of wisdom are scattered throughout with the same plain speak as all the other details.
Personally, although I'm several years older than Lilly, she was the angry teen I wanted to be and now the writer I yearn to be. I'm so glad to have this book.
April 20, 2021
More to come, but thoughts upon finishing: it’s beyond beautiful, absolutely stellar, hit me in my soul.
August 5, 2021
Bracing, keenly-observed, honest, gritty, and redemptive. I ache for the loss of Dancyger’s father in her life. I ache for what he lost too and the relationship with his daughter that he missed when his addiction claimed him. A parent that’s gone is not only a hole in one’s life but all of the unanswered questions that accompany their absence.
Dancyger did find her way and some relief in reconstructing his life. Her work in Negative Space reminds me how hard-won self-discovery is and how frozen-in-time parts of our lives remain no matter how we might change. Favorite line: “The version of me that I became without him could never have known him.”
Dancyger did find her way and some relief in reconstructing his life. Her work in Negative Space reminds me how hard-won self-discovery is and how frozen-in-time parts of our lives remain no matter how we might change. Favorite line: “The version of me that I became without him could never have known him.”
March 7, 2022
Upon finishing the book, I found myself torn on how I feel about this memoir while yearning for more. I think the story would have been better if the author reframed the narrative to focus on her relationship with her mother versus filling in the blank spots of her shortened relationship with her father. The mother I found to be a more fascinating subject, rising from a rough childhood to come out on the other end and survive and fight for her daughter and sobriety. Most of the book had the author explaining/defending the shortcomings of her father. I also wish the author spent more time describing her adolescence and had a stronger focus on the period after she dropped out of high school. I do think that the author adequately portrayed what is to be an addict and who the addiction effects. Most of this memoir came off as journal entries - a recap of a day without much depth. I enjoyed the artwork shown in the book, just wish it was in color to see the detail.
May 21, 2021
I loved Negative Space. One of my favorite memoirs ever, in part because I grew up in New York City, spent time in Dancyger’s stomping grounds of the East Village, took ballet at the Joffrey School on 8th Street, and also grew up surrounded by the art of my father and his friends. Like Dancyger, I was not allowed coloring books, because our fathers believed in setting the imagination free to create free of premanufactured lines.
And the author's creative spirit shows up on every page. This memoir is so engaging because of Dancyger’s graceful and gripping use of language, her candor about the emotional rollercoaster she rode in the process of manifesting her father’s memory. Dancyger allows us to get so close to her experience, to herself, I could not put it down. I was drawn in by each character—her father, his friends, her mother, Lilly herself at every age and incarnation—as if this were a work of fiction, and I mean that in the best way.
I know from Dancyger’s acknowledgments that there were editors who recommended she leave out the photographs of her father’s sketches and sculptures, but they added so much dimension and helped immerse me in his character as it developed for Dancyger herself.
This is a love letter to Dancyger’s father who was at once a devoted, loving hero of a dad, and a heroin addict. The author never shies away from the coexistence of these twin facts. She draws herself, her childhood, her adolescence and overall daughterhood in vivid strokes, weaving in humor and joy along with the trauma.
And the author's creative spirit shows up on every page. This memoir is so engaging because of Dancyger’s graceful and gripping use of language, her candor about the emotional rollercoaster she rode in the process of manifesting her father’s memory. Dancyger allows us to get so close to her experience, to herself, I could not put it down. I was drawn in by each character—her father, his friends, her mother, Lilly herself at every age and incarnation—as if this were a work of fiction, and I mean that in the best way.
I know from Dancyger’s acknowledgments that there were editors who recommended she leave out the photographs of her father’s sketches and sculptures, but they added so much dimension and helped immerse me in his character as it developed for Dancyger herself.
This is a love letter to Dancyger’s father who was at once a devoted, loving hero of a dad, and a heroin addict. The author never shies away from the coexistence of these twin facts. She draws herself, her childhood, her adolescence and overall daughterhood in vivid strokes, weaving in humor and joy along with the trauma.
November 24, 2022
Did I DM the author right after I finished? You may never know. (I did).
Read
June 23, 2021In her memoir, Dancyger writes about growing up in the face of loss. The story opens with the death of her father, Joe Schactman, who was an artist in the 1980s East Village gallery scene. The exploration of drug use opens the memoir as an honest and raw look at how society views drugs Throughout the book, Dancyger explores various facets of her father’s life, including his art and relationships with other individuals.
I will say this Dancyger doesn't shy away from sharing her story. Negative Space, talks about how one can move on after the death of a loved one. It shows how one can get fully attached to oneself without letting go. Dancyger talks about her experiences growing up, which included running away from her mother, experimenting with drugs, and living on her own. The style of this memoir is not calm water. Instead, it is a mad river that flows.
Thank you, Santa Fe Writer's Project for the gifted copy.
I will say this Dancyger doesn't shy away from sharing her story. Negative Space, talks about how one can move on after the death of a loved one. It shows how one can get fully attached to oneself without letting go. Dancyger talks about her experiences growing up, which included running away from her mother, experimenting with drugs, and living on her own. The style of this memoir is not calm water. Instead, it is a mad river that flows.
Thank you, Santa Fe Writer's Project for the gifted copy.
October 20, 2021
3.5*
I both really enjoyed this memoir and found it uneven - there are moments of honest beauty and pain, as well as heartfelt reflections on what makes up truth, both historical and reconstructed. But there are also portions that drift too close into journal therapy, which is possibly my greatest pet-peeve in memoir. I can understand how a project this close to the author's heart (and lived experience) would be very hard to make publish-ready for a neutral audience, but I think with a bit more distance this could have gone from a good book to a truly great book. Definitely worth reading and lots of hard, lovely, insightful, heartbreaking, artistic moments. Just be ready to do some of the emotional work of growing up and making peace with her past alongside the author in what feels like real time.
I both really enjoyed this memoir and found it uneven - there are moments of honest beauty and pain, as well as heartfelt reflections on what makes up truth, both historical and reconstructed. But there are also portions that drift too close into journal therapy, which is possibly my greatest pet-peeve in memoir. I can understand how a project this close to the author's heart (and lived experience) would be very hard to make publish-ready for a neutral audience, but I think with a bit more distance this could have gone from a good book to a truly great book. Definitely worth reading and lots of hard, lovely, insightful, heartbreaking, artistic moments. Just be ready to do some of the emotional work of growing up and making peace with her past alongside the author in what feels like real time.
May 28, 2024
Oof, couldn’t put this one down. I felt so immersed in this 90s NYC art world. Reminded me in a way of Sally Manns memoir, including the art alongside her writing. Deeply moving.
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