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Saving Noah

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We forgive murderers, not pedophiles.

Not since Lionel Shriver brought us We Need to Talk About Kevin has a writer delved into the complexities of a disturbed mother/son relationship. Until now.

Meet Noah—an A-honor roll student, award-winning swimmer, and small-town star destined for greatness. There weren’t any signs that something was wrong until the day he confesses to molesting little girls during swim team practice. He’s sentenced to eighteen months in a juvenile sexual rehabilitation center.

His mother, Adrianne, refuses to turn her back on him despite his horrific crimes, but her husband won’t allow Noah back into their home. In a series of shocking and shattering revelations, Adrianne is forced to make the hardest decision of her life. Just how far will she go to protect her son?

Saving Noah challenges everything you think you know about teenage sexual offenders. It will keep you up at night long after you've read the last page, questioning beliefs you once thought were true.

259 pages, Kindle Edition

First published September 6, 2017

About the author

Lucinda Berry

25 books14.3k followers
Dr. Lucinda Berry is a former clinical psychologist and leading researcher in childhood trauma. Now, she spends her days writing full-time where she uses her clinical experience to blur the line between fiction and nonfiction. She enjoys taking her readers on a journey through the dark recesses of the human psyche. Her work has been optioned for film and translated into multiple languages.

If Berry isn’t chasing after her son, you can find her running through Los Angeles, prepping for her next marathon. To hear about her upcoming release The Secrets of Us, visit her on Facebook or sign up for her newsletter at https://www.lucindaberry.com/.

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5 stars
30,924 (33%)
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 12,745 reviews
Profile Image for j e w e l s.
315 reviews2,604 followers
December 31, 2017
Four Stars
Whew! This is a very short, very intense, very sad book.

Still interested?

Okay. This book is about a pedophile who is still technically a child himself.

Are you still there?

If I haven't scared you away, you will want to read this fictional account of a family in crisis. It is told mostly from Adrianne's (the mother) POV as she tries to help her 16 year old son who is admittedly attracted to MUCH younger girls.

Yes, it is a taboo topic, but in the knowledgeable hands of Lucinda Berry, that subject is spun into an absolutely riveting tale of love, family and motherhood. How far would you go to help your child?

I wish I could give it a 5 star rating, but there are too many cringe inducing moments in the family dynamic that I felt were milked for effect. Otherwise, the book is truly fascinating and gave me tons of new perspective on a subject I had not explored before. The writing is very fast and sucks you in immediately.

This is one of those books like These Violent Delights. It reads a bit like non-fiction, it is relevant, and has so much to offer in terms of educating the reader.

There is a twist that I did not see coming and I straight up cried a couple of times while reading. THAT doesn't happen very often!

Reading doesn't always have to be a guilty pleasure. Sometimes, an interesting take on a most difficult subject is just what the doctor ordered.

Available on Amazon. Saving Noah
Profile Image for Emily May.
2,089 reviews314k followers
April 24, 2024
I was on the fence about reading Saving Noah. I'd read reviews singing its praises, and others saying it makes excuses for child abuse(!!) In the end, I'm glad I read it. I can see why some people landed on that interpretation, but that's not what I think this book was saying at all.

The story is about a woman who finds out that her fifteen-year-old son molested two young girls he was coaching. The crime shatters her family, friendships, faith and entire worldview. Alternating between disgust and the unconditional love of a mother, she tries to find a way for him to put his monstrous acts behind him and have a place in the world.

To be clear, the mother, Adrienne, does try and defend Noah's actions, both to herself and to Noah's father, who doesn't want anything to do with him. But I'm pretty sure this was not Lucinda Berry making light of Noah's crimes. Instead, I took it as the denial of a desperate mother who is struggling to reconcile the sweet little boy she raised with someone who abused children.

As a mother of sons myself, I felt very sorry for Adrienne. This book forced me to imagine being in her position and the thought was horrifying. I don't think Berry excuses Noah's actions but it does force us to ask if it is ever right for a child to be written off for life if they commit a monstrous crime. Some people obviously think it's a hard yes. I'm conflicted. I'm inclined to favour redemption for those genuinely seeking it.

I appreciated the exploration of an atypical form of grief, too. Adrienne has effectively lost her son, the son she thought she had, and that loss is understandably devastating.

My least favourite thing about Saving Noah was the penultimate chapter. I actually totally saw it coming and hoped I was wrong. I'm still not sure what the point was.

Contains depictions of rape and suicide / suicidal ideation.
Profile Image for Antje ❦.
163 reviews5 followers
August 14, 2023
I AM SHOCKED AND DEVASTATED.
You can't possibly imagine what's between these covers.

This was my second Lucinda Berry book, and let me tell you, I'm even more traumatized then after reading The Perfect Child... which means, I'll be reading MORE from this author. Discovering Lucinda Berry will for sure do wonderful things for my mental health (sarcasm ofc), but hey, I love being MOVED (preferably aggressively)!
This book was pretty short, but still, I don't finish books in ONE SITTING, but best believe that's exactly what happened with this one. I was hooked from the very beginning. I'll point out, the pacing doesn't intensify until you hit the 50% mark, so in the beginning, I thought this would be a 3-4 star read. But then BOOM, I didn't know a TRAIN WAS GONNA HIT ME?? And the plot twist in the end, I WAS CRYING, I WAS SHAKING, TERRIFYINGLY AMAZING!
This author is a former psychologist who specializes in childhood trauma. And you can very clearly see that in her books, she speaks from experience. It was even more prominent in The Perfect Child, but you could spot those details in this book too. Which brings me to a side note, DON'T READ THRILLERS (BOOKS) BY THIS AUTHOR IF YOU'RE LOOKING FOR SUSPENSE! They're twisty, but not as much as books from authors like Karin Slaughter, B. A. Paris, Freida McFadden, Ruth Ware. But if you want something chilling but pretty realistic and something that will leave you staring at a blank wall, Lucinda Berry is your choice! She writes book based on her professional experiences, so protagonists are parents with troubled children. Forming bonds is inevitable when it comes to a child, even if that child is in reality a monster. But what will you do when the monster side comes out to the surface? That moral dilemma was posed in both The Perfect Child and Saving Noah, and hey, I like being challenged.

CONTENT WARNING: This book is very very dark. If topics like SA, pedophilia, suicide are triggering to you, please skip this one. Mental health matters!
Profile Image for paige.
133 reviews54 followers
January 27, 2024
This was horrific. The writing was so so bad and 2-D. Literally, it was some of the worst writing ever. I knew it was going to be bad when the 1st chapter ended with "I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding."

This book could have been interesting but it really just fell flat in terms of everything. Honestly, I would have given it a better rating if I didn't reach this point in the book. This is how the mother describes her feelings towards the children her son molests

"I didn’t blame the girls, though. It wasn’t their fault. They had no idea what they were doing. None. Their touch and exploration was completely innocent. Nothing sexual about it, but it hadn’t been innocent for Noah, and he wasn’t their age, which made it a crime. I understood that, but their lives weren’t going to be ruined forever. They just weren’t. But, the world wouldn’t be satisfied until they’d annihilated him. He was more of a victim than those girls, but society would never see it that way. They saw it as him getting what he deserved."

The author also recants that it was "just touching" and not an assault. I was honestly sick reading this book because the psychological trauma caused by her disgusting son would leave those girls traumatized. The narrative that we should feel bad for Noah because he was being beaten up and his life was way worse than his victims was so WRONG. I am so disgusted by this book.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
Profile Image for Tanya.
97 reviews4 followers
April 11, 2022
I would have loved this more if Adrianne would have found out that not only her son but her jackass of a husband was also a pedophile and moved out with Katie.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
Profile Image for Ericka.
81 reviews2,824 followers
April 24, 2024
This book is insane. This book takes a situation that you would say “oh I know exactly what I would do” and literally puts you inside of it and makes you rethink EVERYTHING you ever thought you knew.

This was a tough read. Check your triggers, especially if you are a parent. But overall, I love love LOVE books that challenge my thinking and make me rethink what I “think I’d do”.

Lucinda Berry does it again. And by “it”, I mean terrifies me for when my kids get older.
Profile Image for Debra.
2,825 reviews35.9k followers
December 27, 2017
This book looks at what happens when your child commits a crime. What happens when the child you love with all your heart and soul is branded a pedophile? As a Mother you still love this person. You will still see the good in them. You still want the best for them. You hurt when they are hurting. When others harm your child seeking retribution, how does this affect you, your family, your relationships, and you children?

Whew!

Noah is an honor roll student and star on the swim team. He is the ultimate all-American boy with a bright future, until the day he confesses to molesting two girls during swim practice. He is arrested and sentenced to eighteen months in a juvenile sexual rehabilitation center. His Mother remains supportive and visits him on a regular basis. His father is disgusted and will not allow Noah to move back into their home after his release. Noah struggles throughout. He is targeted and beaten, has low self-esteem and views himself as a monster. His Mother refuses to give up but as time goes by she is faced with some challenging questions - how will she protect her son? how will she hold her family together? How does she help her young daughter who is struggling? What does the future hold for her son?

This book takes a unique look at the life of a pedophile and what happens to a teenage offender and his family especially his Mother. I found this book to be thought provoking, sad, and has a twist involved. I found the story to be engaging and felt for all the characters. No one wins in these types of situations. This is a very interesting book about a sensitive subject which may be hard for some to read. I found this book hard to put down and had to keep reading until the last page. I'm not sure how I feel about the epilogue but overall, I enjoyed this book; although it feels strange to say so due to the subject matter.

I received a copy of this book from the Author in exchange for an honest review.

See more of my reviews at www.openbookpost.com
Profile Image for Sandysbookaday .
2,313 reviews2,305 followers
January 5, 2018
EXCERPT: Noah being charged as a sex offender sucker punched our entire suburban community. Child molesters were adults - dirty old men who lured children into their cars with promises of candy and treats. They weren't A-honor roll students who ran varsity track and went to mass every Sunday.

THE BLURB: Not since Lionel Shriver brought us We Need to Talk About Kevin has a writer delved into the complexities of a disturbed mother/son relationship. Until now.

Meet Noah—an A-honor roll student, award-winning swimmer, and small-town star destined for greatness. There weren’t any signs that something was wrong until the day he confesses to molesting little girls during swim team practice. He’s sentenced to eighteen months in a juvenile sexual rehabilitation center.

His mother, Adrianne, refuses to turn her back on him despite his horrific crimes, but her husband won’t allow Noah back into their home. In a series of shocking and shattering revelations, Adrianne is forced to make the hardest decision of her life. Just how far will she go to protect her son?

Saving Noah challenges everything you think you know about teenage sexual offenders. It will keep you up at night long after you've read the last page, questioning beliefs you once thought were true.

MY THOUGHTS: Child molestation. Bullying. Suicide. Family relationships. Secrets and lies. Author Lucinda Berry, a clinical psychologist specialising in childhood trauma, tackles some difficult subjects with sensitivity. That is not to say she pussy-foots around them, because she certainly doesn't do that! She tackles everything head on, bravely, but with great sensitivity.

How did a boy who seemed so good do something so bad?

The story of Noah's fall from grace is told mainly from his mother, Adrianne's point of view, and that of Noah himself. It chronicles the fallout following 15 year old Noah's shock admission that he has molested two young girls, the wedge it drives between the family members themselves, their friends and community. It chronicles Noah's treatment and rehabilitation back into 'society' and school. But it doesn’t end there . . .

I don't quite know what I was expecting when I began Saving Noah, but I got far more than I bargained for. I don't quite know how to review this book without major spoilers, so I won't. Nor do I know how to do it justice. Let me just say that it is one of the most touching, emotionally intense and sad books that I have recently read.

Thank you to Rise Press for providing a digital copy of Saving Noah by Lucinda Berry for review. All opinions expressed in this review are entirely my own personal opinions. Please refer to my Goodreads.com profile page or the 'about' page on sandysbookaday.wordpress.com for an explanation of my rating system. This review and others are also published on my blog sandysbookaday.wordpress.com https://sandysbookaday.wordpress.com/...
Profile Image for Nica Libres at Dusk ☁.
276 reviews148 followers
August 18, 2022
1 star

What garbage.

I can't believe how many people bought into romanticizing and condoning sex-offenders. Most of the 4-5 star rating are raving about the "mother's love", Adrianne's devotion to Noah blah blah blah. Not me. I was sitting quietly in the corner, disgusted.



I was holding my breath hoping for a moral breakthrough that NEVER came.
If he’d been their age, it would’ve been labeled innocent fun. Playing doctor. It wasn’t as if he’d forced himself on them. He hadn’t. They’d been the ones to touch first. I didn’t blame the girls, though. It wasn’t their fault. They had no idea what they were doing. None. Their touch and exploration was completely innocent. Nothing sexual about it, but it hadn’t been innocent for Noah, and he wasn’t their age, which made it a crime. I understood that, but their lives weren’t going to be ruined forever. They just weren’t. But, the world wouldn’t be satisfied until they’d annihilated him. He was more of a victim than those girls, but society would never see it that way. They saw it as him getting what he deserved.

All he did was touch the girls. There was no penetration or insertion of any kind ... He’d touched them, and they’d touched him. That’s all. It didn’t make it right. It was disgusting and wrong, but he didn’t physically hurt them. Not even close to how he’d been brutalized and stripped of his dignity.

I cannot believe how selfish Adrianne is. I'd like to bash Adrianne's head on the wall when I get a chance. She really had the temerity to walk around and ask for sympathy and respect while she diminishes the effects of Noah's actions to his victims every chance she gets? They'll be fine, we'll pay for therapy. How fucking revolting! Victim-complex unlike any other —



How is Noah a victim though? He is reaping the results of his actions! I guess don't be a pedophile next time?

I understood his shock and the horror. What Noah did was abhorrent, but he was our son. No matter what he’d done, he was still our son. I couldn’t sever my love for him any more than I could cut off my arm.

This right here is the reason I could never be a parent. I can detach and throw the whole person away in a snap.

This is a big no in my books.
Profile Image for Lit with Leigh.
622 reviews7,738 followers
April 11, 2022
Trigger warning: SA, pedophilia, suicide

Writing: 5/5 | Plot: 4/5 | Ending: 4/5

PLOT

Noah was accused of inappropriately touching younger girls, was sent to a "pervert rehab" of sorts, and is now getting out. His mom, Adrianne, is still in stage 1 of grief (denial) and refuses to believe her perfect son is really a supreme pervert. Adrianne is committed to "saving" her son and helping him return to a normal life, but is it even possible?

MY OPINION

*Heavy sigh* Where do I start? If this kind of topic makes you sick, then do not read it. Some parts of exceptionally graphic and disturbing. I've read several other Lucinda Berry novels, and I love her writing. I was interested to see how she would broach such a sensitive and challenging topic; I wasn't disappointed. Lucinda does a fantastic job of telling it like it is: it's a mental disorder and true pedophilia cannot be rehabilitated.

Ok so let me just say: Adrianne is so f****** annoying. I wanted to shake her sometimes. I'm not a mother so maybe I don't understand the whole concept of turning a blind eye to your kid's wrongdoings out of love... But BROTHAAAAAA, pull your head out of your ass. When she tries to act like Noah touching little girls isn't a big deal and all boys are curious.... EXCUSE MOIIIII??? If I were one of the victim's parents, I would've had to whoop her ass at the dinner table.

The revelation at the end was a doozy. I would've liked more explanation on... how.... If you've read the book, you'll understand what I'm asking. I removed a star because of the unsatisfying ending.

PROS AND CONS

Pros: Interesting look at a challenging topic, great writing

Cons: Rushed ending
Profile Image for Flo.
252 reviews6 followers
January 28, 2022
Being inside his mother head was infuriating!!! Like I could not read the delusions this woman believed, she literally said that her pedophile son was more of a victim than the actual little girls he molested!!!!!!! I CANNOT!!!!!!!! Noah was a super interesting character but we got so little insight into his mind I'm disappointed. And the plot twist was absolutely ridiculous and I'm sure it was put there just for shock value but....... no thanks!
Profile Image for Nevin.
238 reviews
May 12, 2022
I struggled with writing a review on this book because of the ending. Mother’s pain an anguish was wayyy too close to my heart.

***Spoilers from this point forward****

Oh my! I have not cried out loud this much reading a book in a very long time. I am guessing anyone reading this review have already read the book, so I will not waste anyones time by writing about the plot of the book. I will jump right into my thoughts…

As a mother who has a son, I completely understood her unrelenting, unconditional love for her son, no matter how awful he is or was. The bond between a mother and a child is very primal and extremely intense. Nothing comes close to it. The moment you hear a heart beat in your tummy, you just fall in love with the baby. From that moment on, you just want to protect your child from the world. I really bonded with Adrianne from the very beginning. She was a mama bear and just wanted to protect Noah, even though he was a pedophile. I can’t imagine if I was ever confronted with such a situation but one thing I know, I would not stop loving my son. I didn’t like Lucas at all! He is a cold hearted, cruel man! Also when we find out he is also a pedophile, really pissed me off!

Let’s get to the end of the book, but before I must tell you a bit about my personal story. Maybe reading from my Goodreads profile, you will know I lost my daughter to leukemia when she was 14 years old. When we found out the last round of chemo didn’t work, my world stopped, my heart become a huge rock, heavy and suffocating. I just wanted the earth to open up and swallow me into the deepest darkest corners of the world. We wanted our daughter to take her last breath at home. That’s what she wanted too. She lived 10 more days after coming home. That week we were all very strong and tried to make the best of our last few days together. The night before she passed away, I hugged her really gingerly and whispered to her gently “I will see you when my time comes, I love you”. She was not conscious but I think she heard me because I saw her sigh. The next day she passed away.

The pain Adrianne was describing of loosing Noah was so close to my heart, I can’t tell you how much I cried. Thank goodness I was alone reading this book otherwise it would have been too painful for my family to watch. They saw me cry way too many times anyway. The ending was so painful but beautifully written. If Adrianne was in front of me, I would have hugged her tightly. I understood her pain and why she did what she did. Sometimes we do the unthinkable to do the best for our children.

After loosing my precious daughter, I read and read. Books saved my life. This book was written very well. I will definitely read more from Lucinda Berry.

A solid ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
Profile Image for Abbie Konnick.
51 reviews8,109 followers
February 25, 2024
This book is a WILD ride! It has you so distracted & focused on the intense topic that the book centers around that you never actually notice what’s happening in the background. I SCREAMED at the end when I realized what was actually happening…wow wow wow. Really intense, but really good!
Profile Image for rodina ㅤᵕ̈.
140 reviews291 followers
September 17, 2024
⭐️ 5 stars —
⤿ no spoilers ahead.

before we start this review, i want to say that i’m not entirely comfortable putting a rate on the plot line or events of this novel; the sensitivity of the topics should be respected. the five stars i gave are directed at the writing, the pace, and the emotional impact of the book.

to say the ending ruined everything i thought i knew about these characters would be an understatement. i was so angry and devastated after that final chapter, it was overwhelming. lucinda berry knows exactly how to toy with her readers’ hearts. i was questioning everything i knew, questioning what i believed in, questioning whether i felt bad for noah, after the severe consequences he faced, or not. the unraveling of the story kept me awake till three in the morning, and i was going fucking crazy.

this was emotional damage. do with that information what you will. however, it’s mandatory you check the listed trigger warnings before proceeding.

the thing that drove me insane the most was noah’s mother’s ignorance. her inability to have compassion for any child that wasn’t her own was astounding. ma’am, your son committed a crime against seven year olds. how are you still trying to justify his behavior? i understand that she loved him too much to admit he’s ill, but saying that the girls will eventually get over it while he dealt with the repercussions for the rest of his life was literally madness.

i don’t think i’ll ever forget reading this book. the effect it had on me after finishing it yesterday will last a lifetime.
Profile Image for Jolie McAdoo.
53 reviews14.4k followers
Read
July 13, 2024
There’s nothing that I can say about this book that would truly encapsulate all that I feel for it. It was difficult to read about and even harder to see through. The epitome of “being at war with one’s self”. Rating an experience like this feels weird so I’m not going to do it. A heart breaking story but one that will leave an imprint.
Profile Image for Erin (from Long Island, NY).
514 reviews198 followers
Read
July 17, 2020
This book is SO sad!! Actually, sad isn’t even the word. It’s absolutely heartbreaking (& terrifying) on so many levels. It’s excellent for what it is, extremely well written, but it is NOT a thriller. It’s more so a character study, or sort of fictional memoir. I couldn’t decide what to rate it because it is so expertly done, & I think it may be perfect if God forbid, you need insight into any of these issues.. But as far as reading it for “entertainment?” No way. I was gutted. Even once I realized what it was (or wasn’t,) i still couldn’t put it down.. But I wouldn’t have picked it up in the first place if i knew what it was.
Profile Image for Danielle.
743 reviews247 followers
November 10, 2022
Wow. I expected to feel disgusted, and I do, but I didn't expect to feel this sad. What a heartbreaking story that was well-told through a flawed mother trying her best with the hand she was dealt.
Profile Image for Petra.
131 reviews5 followers
July 17, 2023
DO NOT READ THIS PILE OF GARBAGE. I give it MINUS 10 stars.
SAVE YOUR MONEY (and time!) But if you really wanna read it - spoilers ahead.

This was the biggest piece of trash I have laid my eyes on. THANK GOD I didn’t pay for it (Kindle Unlimited).

The book is about a 15 yr old pedophile and his mother - who spends 85% of the book excusing his behavior. The way that it is written is abhorrent.

Examples:

1) It doesn’t mean he’s a monster. He has a problem.
2) He touched them, and they touched him. That’s all.
3) “All he did was touch the girls. There was no penetration or insertion of any kind.”
4) It was disgusting and wrong, but he didn’t physically hurt them. Not even close to how he’d been brutalized and stripped of his dignity.
5) “That’s entirely different you don’t have cancer.” He gave me a halfhearted smile. “You’re right I’ve got something worse. At least when you have cancer people still love you.”

I shit you not, these are LITERAL sentences from this book.

THEN. Yes, it unfortunately gets worse. The mother who spends the whole first 3 quarters of the book excusing his behavior - then ends up helping him commit suicide cause she realizes he is a pedophile and cannot be helped.

BUT that’s not the end to this dumpster fire. The father who was portrayed as the one with a brain wanting to protect his daughter … WELL it turns out he too was a pedophile who went to juvie after he was 16, and got shock therapy - which he says didn’t even work, and he managed to squash his urges by pinching his thigh (cause that’s so effective and how come no one thought of that treatment plan before?) and got to live happily after and have two kids and never re-offend….

There are also implications someone may have SA’d the daughter - example such as her regression into bed wetting, and the sentence where she literally says “I don’t care if he touches my private parts.”

I cant. Literally. This was the most awful, piece of sh*t book I have ever read in my entire life.

I had to go have a rage gym session and then shower the filth off me.

Profile Image for Rossy Arzate.
154 reviews4 followers
July 21, 2022
This is a book touching a very difficult subject and being so short (256 pages) felt superficial in some parts.

I can understand why the mom loves Noah despite what he had done but at some point she was just trying to justify him.

I totally hated this part when she says “Nothing sexual about it, but it hadn’t been innocent for Noah, and he wasn’t their age, which made it a crime. I understood that, but their lives weren’t going to be ruined forever. They just weren’t.” Uhhh…. what about the permanent psychological harm to the little girls?

I am giving 2 starts just because it got me interested throughout the story. But I don’t think I would recomend this book.
Profile Image for Angela (PerpetualPages).
98 reviews116 followers
April 15, 2022
Not sure what the author’s intention was with this, but I will never feel sympathy for a pedophile. Just no. Also, the mom was horrible and tried to justify his behavior during the ENTIRE book. Disgusting.
November 20, 2019
Superficial and overwrought look at a teenage sex offender with very little actual insight.

Saving Noah is classified as a novel of psychological suspense although I would more accurately describe it as a simplistic and superficial look at a family torn apart when fifteen-year-old son, Noah Coates, admits to molesting two six-year-old girls. As a popular A grade student who ran varsity track, attended mass and was an award-winning swimmer, mother Adrianne has never found the reasons for his actions. Sentenced to eighteen months in a juvenile detention centre Noah’s release in imminent but for devoted Adrianne, who has visited him weekly, and husband, Lucas, who has steadfastly refused to discuss his return home and failed to hide his disgust, Noah’s homecoming is a source of disagreement.

Already having had their lives in well-heeled Buffalo Grove decimated by neighbourhood vitriol at Noah’s behaviour, Adrianne is determined to protect and support her son at any cost and moves with Noah to an apartment whilst Lucas and eight-year-old daughter, Katie, remain in the new family home. With Noah’s parents at loggerheads, I was angered that Adrianne was so bitter towards Lucas and felt it was acceptable to put her young daughter at risk. With Noah having lost all of his interest in life, reluctant to leave the apartment and a target for bullies and vigilantes, the months after his release are littered with pitfalls including violent assaults and depression soon sets in.

Berry’s prose is clunky to say the least as the narrative moves back and forth between mother, Adrianne, in the wake of her son’s release and Noah during his time at the treatment facility. Although the author is a trauma psychologist and might well have researched her material I was unconvinced that the book gave me any astonishing insight into having a paedophile in the family with Adrianne’s rose-tinted perspective occupying the bulk of the novel. I certainly wouldn’t take anything from this novel as credence. Funnily enough, seventeen-year-old Noah earns the readers sympathy with his mature and honest outlook, his abhorrence of his crimes and his refusal to think for second that he should be pitied or given extra support. I would have liked to hear more from him and a little less from his overwrought mother because he made for a far more fascinating view of a complex character facing a future battling the condition. Meanwhile Adrianne refuses to see that her son as anything other than a victim.

The final chapter prior to the epilogue, written from the point of view of Lucas, left me with more questions than answers and I felt like it was deliberately thrown in for shock value or to fit the psychological suspense criteria. At less than 260 pages the story is obviously very superficial and I felt the character of Adrianne was utterly deluded. From hosting a dinner party to break the news of her son interfering with the young daughters of two sets of parents and expecting them to think that it was their duty to support each other and perpetrator Noah, to her galling attitude to Noah being somehow ‘better’ than his peers in the Marsh institute.
Profile Image for Melissa.
351 reviews24 followers
December 31, 2021
“They’d been the ones to touch him first. I don’t blame the girls though. It wasn’t their fault”.

No, that’s exactly what you did when you wrote that first sentence. You blamed them. “They touched him first”. That’s disgusting. “Their lives won’t be ruined forever”. F you. I’m still dealing with my trauma 34 years later.
Profile Image for L. Rambit.
Author 4 books17 followers
March 22, 2021
What do you do if your teenage son tells you he molested two six-year-old girls?

hhhhhhh. Oh, I have feelings about this one.

First off, it's very well written and researched (on both the psychological and the legal fronts). The author handles everything with tact and sympathy, and nothing is made gratuitous or used for shock factor. If you think you can stomach the heavy subject matter and feel intrigued by the premise, then by all means you should read it; in some matters, it was enlightening, and a heavy tale about the love of a mother for her children.

I wouldn't classify it as a thriller. Generally, I dislike thrillers, especially when they throw in some stupid twist at the end. This book did have a twist, but I didn't mind it so much because it was 1. Relevant (it changed the meaning behind quite a few chapters and relationships) 2. Well-written and foreshadowed (all the hints were there, and I noticed a few of them as I read them, such as ) and 3. Effective (I didn't see it coming; I was impressed, from a literary standpoint. Well done).

But I didn't get the point. Especially of that twist. What the hell??? Why does it matter that ? Was the author trying to imply that

And, oh... I wasn't okay with the end resolution, regarding Adrienne and Noah's choice. I think if it were any other kind of book, I'd be like, "Okay, this was the decision that was right for THEM; I can accept that." But since this is such a rare and taboo perspective, it almost has to speak for all such cases. Does the author believe that all As a mentally ill lesbian, that leaves a bad taste in my mouth. There are people who think that about people like me, too. What was the point of setting Noah up as such a sympathetic protagonist if you were just going to ? Surely there's better options than that for people like him.

Like some reviewers, I was also frustrated by Adrienne's mindset. She kept acting like literal child molestation was just "a mistake" that could be remedied. It may have been realistic... Plenty of parents have defended their children for worse crimes. What would I do if someone I loved was charged with something so heinous? I don't know! I hope I never have to find out!

But it was frustrating that she couldn't see how much risk she was putting people in. Leaving her seven-year-old daughter with a known, offending pedophile specifically attracted to girls in that age-range? Sending Noah back to school like everything will be fine, and then feeling shocked when people beat the shit out of him?!

Rape is never, ever, ever okay. Prison rape is not okay. Rape jokes are never funny. I'm speaking here as someone who has been sexually assaulted! I have dumped friends for making prison rape jokes. We as a society cannot turn our backs on sexual assault, even if it happens to the worst of criminals, or we're literally saying "Rape is sometimes an acceptable thing to do to other human beings, if we decide they deserve it." But it's still prevalent, because it's something that actually happens, and Adrienne knows this, and yet she's still shocked every time her son is assaulted!

There's a difference between being optimistic and being a blind idiot! If you love your damn kids so much, lady, protect them. (And the way she broke the news to the victim's parents was in really poor taste. Inviting them over to dinner to talk about it casually?! "Oh hi, Cheryl. Can you pass the salad? By the way, my son molested your daughter. Can you pass the dressing?" Lady. Please.)

I think I feel this frustrated because... It feels possible. I can imagine a loving parent behaving this way, thinking this way. The way she compares Noah to other teenage sex offenders and thinks he's "better" than them? That's a totally realistic mom-thing to do. And it's frustrating as hell! Stop it!

Noah, a teenage pedophile, is more aware of his situation than his mother. He reaches for help again and again, saying "I am a pedophile and I am not safe; if I have the opportunity to hurt children, I will do it. I need someone to stop me." How much clearer can he make it?! Why is nobody listening to him?! (I did appreciate the distinction the author made. Most instances of child sexual abuse are not the result of pedophilia. Pedophilia, the actual attraction to children, is quite rare. Most cases of CSA happen because children are vulnerable; not because predatory people are specifically attracted to them. Most people won't care to make that distinction, but it does matter in handling and preventing cases of CSA.)

Here's the thing about people, whether they're criminals or pimps or slavers or traffickers or rapists or pedophiles or terrorists or murderers or Nazis or anything else on the planet: they are human and they have human feelings and human families and favorite flavors of ice cream and favorite songs on the radio and they probably thought that baby panda video on Facebook was just as cute as you did. That does not justify or excuse what they do. But when we classify other humans as "incomprehensible monsters," we distance ourselves from them. And we can't do that, because it gives us a mental get-out-of-jail free card. It leaves us free to say, "well, sure, I did this horrible thing, but I'm not like THEM. I'm a person. They're barely even human." It's important to understand the "them" of this world, and to realize the capacity for good and evil each human, ourselves included, possesses. We are our actions.

I thought this book was well-written, and I'll probably read it again soon. It did bring tears to my eyes twice. I felt a lot of emotions reading this. This author is clearly very talented, and I want to read more of her work soon.

Profile Image for Jan.
423 reviews277 followers
February 8, 2018
Well written and incredibly thought-provoking read!

***This is a book about child abuse. While the actions are only alluded to, it is the foundation of what this whole book is about, so if this is a trigger, this is not the book for you. Also note that there are scenes that involve the discussion of suicide and bullying. ***

Not everything, or everyone, is as they appear...
The perfect family, the perfect son.
Until one day he confesses to molesting some of the young girls he has been in charge of coaching.
What would you do or how far would you go to protect your son? Does he even deserve your protection?

This is a story that tears into the heart of what goes on behind the scenes, between the four walls, as this family slowly falls apart.

I did this as a buddy read, and I'm really glad I did. This is one of those books that just hits you hard in so many ways. It will make you angry and frustrated, as much as it will make you sad where you want to cry at the hopelessness of it. Being able to write down my thoughts and emotions helped make this subject matter go down a bit easier.

My buddy and I were very much in tune with our feelings throughout, but that's not to say that there weren't a few issues that weren't so black and white. Some of the decisions made by both of Noah's parents confused and angered us. Try as we did to put ourselves in their shoes, the subject matter is just too personal to say how we would react if this happened in our family.

Hats off to the author for tackling this rough subject matter in such a powerful way. I highly recommend, if you can handle the subject matter.
Profile Image for Michael David (on hiatus).
744 reviews1,898 followers
May 19, 2020
This is a very uncomfortable and sad read. It is written so realistically. I knew going into it that there couldn't possibly be a positive outcome, but it was still difficult to get through many parts of the book. Author Lucinda Berry paints an honest picture with skill, and doesn't shy away at the tough parts. I applaud her for telling the story given that when you read the synopsis, you know it won't be an easy one to tell.
Profile Image for Scott Lyons.
140 reviews778 followers
June 18, 2023
This was an excellent book. Heart breaking, soul crushing and difficult to read… but excellent. I think what makes it excellent isn’t the writing or the details or even the shocking ending. I think what makes in excellent is Dr. Lucinda Berry’s ability to make you really think about what you would do if you’re family was in full on crisis. To be in an impossible situation. Could you be the strength your child needed you to be. I enjoyed this book because it made me think, question myself, and wonder what we would do to save our kids.
Profile Image for Dem.
1,226 reviews1,332 followers
September 30, 2022


I bought it, I read it and it shocked me. The less said on this one the better


My real life sit in book club new season nomination and what a shocker to start the ball rolling.
A fantastic discussion book even for the people in the group who gave up after a few chapters.
While the book is disturbing , it is not graphic and therefore I chose to read it and discuss it. Had it been graphic or too uncomfortable I would not have read it nor would our group have chosen it.
This was a terrific discussion read for our group and while we could not find any discussion questions we managed to create some of our own which resulted in a lively discussion that lasted 1.5 hours.
I always feel that books that are out of reader’s comfort zone always make the best discussion books as everyone has an opinion.

A great thought provoking novel and well worth discussing.
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