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Surpassing Certainty: What My Twenties Taught Me
“A defining chronicle of strength and spirit” (Kirkus Reviews), Surpassing Certainty is a portrait of a young woman searching for her purpose and place in the world—without a road map to guide her. This memoir “should be required reading for your 20s” (Cosmopolitan).
A few months before her twentieth birthday, Janet Mock is adjusting to her days as a first-generation college student at the University of Hawaii and her nights as a dancer at a strip club. Finally content in her body after her teenage transition, she vacillates between flaunting and concealing herself as she navigates dating and disclosure, sex and intimacy, and most important, letting herself be truly seen. Under the neon lights of Club Nu, Janet meets Troy, a yeoman stationed at Pearl Harbor naval base, who becomes her first. The pleasures and perils of their relationship serve as a backdrop for Janet’s progression through all the universal growing pains—falling in and out of love, living away from home, and figuring out what she wants to do with her life.
Fueled by her dreams and an inimitable drive, Janet makes her way through New York City intent on building a career in the highly competitive world of magazine publishing—within the unique context of being trans, a woman, and a person of color. Hers is a timely glimpse about the barriers many face—and a much-needed guide on how to make a way out of no way.
Long before she became one of the world’s most respected media figures and lauded leaders for equality and justice, Janet learned how to advocate for herself before becoming an advocate for others. In this “honest and timely appraisal of what it means to be true to yourself” (Booklist), Surpassing Certainty offers an “exquisitely packaged gift of her experiences...that signals something greater” (Bitch Magazine).
A few months before her twentieth birthday, Janet Mock is adjusting to her days as a first-generation college student at the University of Hawaii and her nights as a dancer at a strip club. Finally content in her body after her teenage transition, she vacillates between flaunting and concealing herself as she navigates dating and disclosure, sex and intimacy, and most important, letting herself be truly seen. Under the neon lights of Club Nu, Janet meets Troy, a yeoman stationed at Pearl Harbor naval base, who becomes her first. The pleasures and perils of their relationship serve as a backdrop for Janet’s progression through all the universal growing pains—falling in and out of love, living away from home, and figuring out what she wants to do with her life.
Fueled by her dreams and an inimitable drive, Janet makes her way through New York City intent on building a career in the highly competitive world of magazine publishing—within the unique context of being trans, a woman, and a person of color. Hers is a timely glimpse about the barriers many face—and a much-needed guide on how to make a way out of no way.
Long before she became one of the world’s most respected media figures and lauded leaders for equality and justice, Janet learned how to advocate for herself before becoming an advocate for others. In this “honest and timely appraisal of what it means to be true to yourself” (Booklist), Surpassing Certainty offers an “exquisitely packaged gift of her experiences...that signals something greater” (Bitch Magazine).
Audiobook
First published June 13, 2017
About the author
Janet Mock
6 books727 followersJanet Mock is a writer, TV host and advocate whose work has appeared in Marie Claire, The New Yorker, and Lenny. With a Masters in journalism from New York University, the Honolulu native worked as an editor at People.com, produced HBO’s The Trans List, hosted a series of specials for MSNBC, and appeared on OWN’s Super Soul Sunday. Oprah Winfrey has called her a “fearless new voice” and “trailblazing leader,” who “changed my way of thinking.” In addition, she’s been honored by the Ms. Foundation for Women, Planned Parenthood, the Sylvia Rivera Law Project and Time magazine which named her one of “the most influential people on the Internet.” She is the author of the New York Times bestseller "Redefining Realness" and "Surpassing Certainty."
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 280 reviews
June 28, 2018
I first saw Surpassing Certainty on a display table at a bookstore last year and skimmed the synopsis. My interest was piqued but I had no idea who Janet Mock was and didn’t bother to investigate. Not until I purchased this book and began reading it nearly a year later, did I learn who she is - a writer, who previously worked at People, a transgender woman, and a transgender rights activist.
She wrote another book, Redefining Realness which I was also unfamiliar with (and have not read). While I’ve seen Redefining Realness dubbed as Janet’s memoir, I felt Surpassing Certainty could only be described as a memoir - I’d have no other close categories to classify this book in.
Surpassing Certainty focuses on Janet’s life from her early college years through her mid-twenties. It touches on her childhood - She grew up in Hawaii, Oakland, CA, and Dallas, as well as her family. The story focuses on her becoming an adult, owning her life, and being comfortable as a strong woman. It also focuses on her career path, starting with stripping for extra money, interning at PlayBoy, going to college, then obtaining her Masters degree at NYU.
Janet also discusses her love life - good and bad. I thought the book was very interesting and appreciate the honesty and realism she shares. She does not sugarcoat her story. That said, I felt that while her primary relationship frequently seemed questionable, Janet was fairly hypocritical in her own actions, and seemed to only briefly acknowledge this. Of course, it’s her story to tell and she owes no one justification - This was just my primary observation as an outsider, reading this part of her story.
While the book was different than what I was anticipating, I enjoyed reading the story. It’s clear that Janet is a great writer, balancing eloquent language with a realistic tone which I appreciated.
She wrote another book, Redefining Realness which I was also unfamiliar with (and have not read). While I’ve seen Redefining Realness dubbed as Janet’s memoir, I felt Surpassing Certainty could only be described as a memoir - I’d have no other close categories to classify this book in.
Surpassing Certainty focuses on Janet’s life from her early college years through her mid-twenties. It touches on her childhood - She grew up in Hawaii, Oakland, CA, and Dallas, as well as her family. The story focuses on her becoming an adult, owning her life, and being comfortable as a strong woman. It also focuses on her career path, starting with stripping for extra money, interning at PlayBoy, going to college, then obtaining her Masters degree at NYU.
Janet also discusses her love life - good and bad. I thought the book was very interesting and appreciate the honesty and realism she shares. She does not sugarcoat her story. That said, I felt that while her primary relationship frequently seemed questionable, Janet was fairly hypocritical in her own actions, and seemed to only briefly acknowledge this. Of course, it’s her story to tell and she owes no one justification - This was just my primary observation as an outsider, reading this part of her story.
While the book was different than what I was anticipating, I enjoyed reading the story. It’s clear that Janet is a great writer, balancing eloquent language with a realistic tone which I appreciated.
June 19, 2017
If you read REDEFINING REALNESS, you'll be happy to find that Mock's second memoir is even better: warmer, deeper, and in many ways more personal. This is a good book for anyone in their 20's, the story here is one we often skip over when we talk about the narrative of people's lives, how your early attempts at personhood and independence shape you.
Mock is able to explore a wide array of experiences but always keeps you emotionally connected to her. She explores desire and being desired, when and how to disclose her trans identity, how race impacts her career and professional prospects, and how relationships can open us up and close us off at the same time.
If you're familiar with Mock, you know how this book ends. The last chapter coincides with her first big public piece when she landed on the national scene. But it's absolutely a journey worth taking to follow her from a job stripping in Hawai'i to breaking into People magazine in New York City.
You'll find there is less Trans 101 here, which makes sense. This is no longer a story about transition. The Janet of this book is a grown woman who is often confident in her gender, though not always in herself. It's important to have stories featuring trans people that aren't about transition and it's even better when they're a joy to read. I read this one in one sitting.
Mock is able to explore a wide array of experiences but always keeps you emotionally connected to her. She explores desire and being desired, when and how to disclose her trans identity, how race impacts her career and professional prospects, and how relationships can open us up and close us off at the same time.
If you're familiar with Mock, you know how this book ends. The last chapter coincides with her first big public piece when she landed on the national scene. But it's absolutely a journey worth taking to follow her from a job stripping in Hawai'i to breaking into People magazine in New York City.
You'll find there is less Trans 101 here, which makes sense. This is no longer a story about transition. The Janet of this book is a grown woman who is often confident in her gender, though not always in herself. It's important to have stories featuring trans people that aren't about transition and it's even better when they're a joy to read. I read this one in one sitting.
June 20, 2017
There are absolutely no words to express how much I loved this book. I loved Redefining Realness. But Surpassing Certainty really spoke to me as a black woman still trying to be seen and heard.
March 30, 2023
This candid, conversational memoir is read by the author in the audiobook and I really loved hearing it literally in her voice. Mock begins the book writing of being a freshman in college in her native Hawaii, of working briefly in a strip club as a dancer, of meeting the man who she would marry and live with on and off through her twenties, of following her academic ambition and writing skills to Rhode Island and then New York City, of friendships, boyfriends, heart breaks and career breaks. Mock pursued the goal of becoming a culture magazine editor with remarkable clear-eyed practicality and worked her way into higher and higher positions even as a recent grad. Along the way she gained confidence in herself, her place in the world, and her unique voice as a trans woman of color. She went from living stealth to deciding she wanted to share her story calmly and compassionately with the world.
August 2, 2017
I first heard about Mock when she appeared on Chelsea Weekly on Netflix, I made note of her book but didn't really get around to really researching it. Fast forward to July and I saw all over my twitter the boycott of The Breakfast Club- again Mock name came up. It was then I read an article she wrote specifically about the boycott, and it is through that article I found out she is transgendered, with that said, I decided it was time I give this book a read.
I have to say, I was impressed with Mock's writing, her storytelling abilities surprised me, and I did find myself enjoying her story. It is so refreshing to get a glimpse into what it takes to "make it" and what it takes is usually a lot of hard work- that in itself is inspiring.
A solid read.
I have to say, I was impressed with Mock's writing, her storytelling abilities surprised me, and I did find myself enjoying her story. It is so refreshing to get a glimpse into what it takes to "make it" and what it takes is usually a lot of hard work- that in itself is inspiring.
A solid read.
January 11, 2022
genre : memoirIt feels weird to rate a memoir sometimes because it’s almost like rating a person’s life.
indie? : no
I think the first time I really heard about Janet Mock (transwoman, Black, Asian, Kānaka Maoli) was her appearance on Netflix’s Styling Hollywood (hosted by husbands Jason Bolden and Adair Curtis). What prompt me to pick up this book was the fact that Mock narrated her own memoir, and I was intrigued. I knew close to nothing about her when I started listening, and Surpassing Certainty helped me learn more about her thoughts and insecurities growing up, and her journey of becoming the iconic transwoman of color she is today.
The whole book is more or less about Mock’s romantic and sexual history. She talked about working as a stripper in college (19), meeting and falling in love with a white marine Troy, moving to the East Coast for an exchange program and later graduate school, and navigating the world of journalism as a woman of color. Mock lived in this constant fear of people finding out her trans identity, especially back in Hawai‘i where the community is smaller and lots of locals knew about her. This memoir provides a glimpse into Mock’s life, perhaps a bit more detailed than I needed. Her narration is calming, and while I don’t think I’d like the book as much had I not listened to the audiobook, I’m glad I read it.
content warnings: internalized transphobia, transphobia (trans outing), rape, cheating, sex work (stripper), underage drinking, purchasing a dog, internalized racism, racism
April 2, 2018
Good, bad, or indifferent - Mock writes with an authenticity and bravery that few can match. To read the rest of this review and to see an interview with Janet Mock and Francesca Ramsey CLICK HERE.
August 7, 2017
This was not as good a read as her first book. It may be because I'm in my thirties and this memoir chronicles her twenties, or maybe because Redefining Realness taught me so much and really endeared her to me. Either way, while this was well written, it was kind of boring.
March 31, 2022
I’m so glad that I finally got around to reading this. When I finished Janet Mock’s first book Redefining Realness: My Path to Womanhood, Identity, Love & So Much More I felt like the ending was rushed and she didn’t show as much of her twenties as I wanted to read about. So this book really goes in depth with her time in college and grad school, stripping, romantic relationships, friendships, and starting her career in journalism. It was interesting to see when she was living stealth and when she would come out to people about being trans. Janet has so many engaging stories and writes them in a way that really pull you in.
August 27, 2017
4.5 Stars
This was so good!
I've been listening to Janet Mock's Surpassing Certainty over the past day, and I found any spare moment to press play. This is her second biography and I need her to keep living her life, because her memories make the best stories. I know, I sound like an insufferable gossip feeding off other people's lives, but I don't just watch anyone, I watch the interesting ones, and Mock is a very interesting one.
I loved Mock's first bio, Redefining Realness , but I adored Surpassing Certainty. I connected with this one more, since it felt more personal and revealing. It covers a shorter span in Mock's life and a pivotal relationship that spanned the majority of her twenties, a relationship that in many ways helped free her to be who she is today. It was compelling, enlightening, heartbreaking, and uplifting.
As with her previous book, Mock shows the reader all sides of herself, but I think unlike her first book, we also get to see how her journey to happiness and self-fulfillment left a mark on the people in her life, particularly one. It's this aspect that had me crying during the book's final chapters. Janet Mock is strong and resilient, but she's also self-absorbed and selfish. Her strengths are also flaws, and like us all, she had to make difficult choices about how much of herself to give to people, how much to bend before she started to take the form of someone she didn't recognize.
In this memoir, Janet meets a love of her life, she graduates college and struggles to realize her dreams and love the man who showed her unconditional acceptance and support, but who may not fit in with the image of the future she has for herself. This memoir is a coming-of-age story in many ways like hundreds that have been told before, while being unique and revealing a perspective that's often unperceived.
I don't read a lot of biographies, but if I can find more like this one, then I'll start reading more. I love reading novels, and Surpassing Certainty felt like one. It felt like a coming-of-age fiction, romance, chic-lit, whatever. The way Mock narrates it (both in print and via audio) is intimate and compelling, and I felt like I was taking her journey, as opposed to simply being told about it. I recommend you take the journey as well.
Originally posted on Majority Marginalized
This was so good!
I've been listening to Janet Mock's Surpassing Certainty over the past day, and I found any spare moment to press play. This is her second biography and I need her to keep living her life, because her memories make the best stories. I know, I sound like an insufferable gossip feeding off other people's lives, but I don't just watch anyone, I watch the interesting ones, and Mock is a very interesting one.
I loved Mock's first bio, Redefining Realness , but I adored Surpassing Certainty. I connected with this one more, since it felt more personal and revealing. It covers a shorter span in Mock's life and a pivotal relationship that spanned the majority of her twenties, a relationship that in many ways helped free her to be who she is today. It was compelling, enlightening, heartbreaking, and uplifting.
As with her previous book, Mock shows the reader all sides of herself, but I think unlike her first book, we also get to see how her journey to happiness and self-fulfillment left a mark on the people in her life, particularly one. It's this aspect that had me crying during the book's final chapters. Janet Mock is strong and resilient, but she's also self-absorbed and selfish. Her strengths are also flaws, and like us all, she had to make difficult choices about how much of herself to give to people, how much to bend before she started to take the form of someone she didn't recognize.
In this memoir, Janet meets a love of her life, she graduates college and struggles to realize her dreams and love the man who showed her unconditional acceptance and support, but who may not fit in with the image of the future she has for herself. This memoir is a coming-of-age story in many ways like hundreds that have been told before, while being unique and revealing a perspective that's often unperceived.
I don't read a lot of biographies, but if I can find more like this one, then I'll start reading more. I love reading novels, and Surpassing Certainty felt like one. It felt like a coming-of-age fiction, romance, chic-lit, whatever. The way Mock narrates it (both in print and via audio) is intimate and compelling, and I felt like I was taking her journey, as opposed to simply being told about it. I recommend you take the journey as well.
Originally posted on Majority Marginalized
March 29, 2018
a second memoir in the span of three years might be considered indulgent. then again, memoirs from trans writers are undeniably underrepresented on history's bookshelf. I am grateful to read trans stories that document love, complexity, triumph and joy in the writer's life while refusing the narrative that trans lives equate tragedy.
at first I didn't know why I was reading this book. it read like an itinerary of important milestones and their adherent feelings, a statement of facts to devour quickly without too much to consider deeply. this, in contrast, to "redefining realness" which I'm sure will be read for generations. I finished it easily within a few days given the flow and pace of her writing.
ultimately the last chapters attend to what, I think, her purpose with this book is: to claim space for her first love in the public record of her life. what a way to honour the complicated ways someone who is no longer in your life has shaped you. I wish for everyone a gesture of this magnitude from and for the one's they love(d), especially for those relegated to the private realm of memory.
at first I didn't know why I was reading this book. it read like an itinerary of important milestones and their adherent feelings, a statement of facts to devour quickly without too much to consider deeply. this, in contrast, to "redefining realness" which I'm sure will be read for generations. I finished it easily within a few days given the flow and pace of her writing.
ultimately the last chapters attend to what, I think, her purpose with this book is: to claim space for her first love in the public record of her life. what a way to honour the complicated ways someone who is no longer in your life has shaped you. I wish for everyone a gesture of this magnitude from and for the one's they love(d), especially for those relegated to the private realm of memory.
January 4, 2018
I ignored my two kids, work responsibilities, and the desire to binge The Crown and finished Janet Mock's memoir in three days. It was riveting. Her storytelling style is accessible (the pages turn quickly) and she is honest and sincere without sentimentality. I grew up in Hawaii, and so I enjoyed her references to strip clubs, food joints and beaches that I frequented. But I realized I knew little about trans experience or native Hawaiian perspectives on non-binary gender.
I most appreciated her telling of her passionate, angsty first love. It touched my personal experience.
Many authors tell the story of coming into their voice. Mock's voice is beautiful and iconic, and her journey to find that voice is riveting. Read this.
I most appreciated her telling of her passionate, angsty first love. It touched my personal experience.
Many authors tell the story of coming into their voice. Mock's voice is beautiful and iconic, and her journey to find that voice is riveting. Read this.
October 19, 2017
Certainly, it's always interesting to read about something that's new to you, and I haven't read anything else yet about someone's transgender journey. Mock writes well too. My qualm with this book is that Mock doesn't seem to accept or own up to her own part in major events in her life. The easiest example involves the manner in which she discusses her romance and eventual marriage to her first husband. Perhaps I should have started with her first memoir, but this one had been recommended by a friend.
June 20, 2020
Janet Mock writes eloquently and openly in Surpassing Certainty focusing on her life in college and through the her mid-twenties. It is the story of becoming an adult in the face of discrimination. It is the story of becoming comfortable in her skin as a Black woman, a transgender woman, and a feminist.
She is honest and forthright when discussing her love life even when it doesn't always paint her in the best light, and even when it delves into uncomfortable and painful moments. I would have liked to know more about the things that caused the demise of her relationship with her first husband. It felt like there was a lack of effort by the two of them (and perhaps mostly by her). But she may have needed to keep things to herself. Also they married extremely young.
I enjoyed the book. I would have liked to see a bit more about how she came to be such a powerful woman -- and more about her transition story.
She is honest and forthright when discussing her love life even when it doesn't always paint her in the best light, and even when it delves into uncomfortable and painful moments. I would have liked to know more about the things that caused the demise of her relationship with her first husband. It felt like there was a lack of effort by the two of them (and perhaps mostly by her). But she may have needed to keep things to herself. Also they married extremely young.
I enjoyed the book. I would have liked to see a bit more about how she came to be such a powerful woman -- and more about her transition story.
July 9, 2020
This is a good memoir, I'm glad my sister recommended it. I wish it had been less about Janet's relationships and more about her work and personal life. I hope she writes another volume that picks up where this left off because I want to see what happens next.
May 10, 2020
A must read for women in their twenties - I loved everything about this book and am eager to purchase her other bestseller “Redefining Realness”!
March 10, 2019
I really enjoyed this book. I am glad it was written. IMO there aren't enough autobiographies written by trans people, and the ones that do exist are about trans-ness, when clearly there is also so much more to each trans person's story. This book is about Janet and her first marriage, and her first job in the publishing industry, and her brushes with racism in publishing.
I hope readers of her first book also pick this book up.
I hope readers of her first book also pick this book up.
June 25, 2017
May 2017 be remembered as the year when, instead of dragging myself to any of the festivities celebrating Saturday of Pride weekend, I sat in a park devouring the second half of Surpassing Certainty. Though I was alone, reading Janet Mock's work always makes me feel as if she is speaking directly to me, animating details of the kinds of stories most of us only share with our best friends.
I am grateful for Mock's writing not only for the feelings she evokes with her writing, but for the history she documents while telling her own story. Mock does this by including statistics about the disproportionate impact of homelessness on LGBT—and especially trans—youth, noting that her first apartment in NYC was near the site of Sylvia Rivera and Marsha P. Johnson's STAR, and acknowledging how the times have changed since her 20s now that Laverne Cox and Caitlyn Jenner are household names. This not only adds context but adds another dimension to her writing and makes it clear she is not on selfish mission by sharing her story.
I am grateful for Mock's writing not only for the feelings she evokes with her writing, but for the history she documents while telling her own story. Mock does this by including statistics about the disproportionate impact of homelessness on LGBT—and especially trans—youth, noting that her first apartment in NYC was near the site of Sylvia Rivera and Marsha P. Johnson's STAR, and acknowledging how the times have changed since her 20s now that Laverne Cox and Caitlyn Jenner are household names. This not only adds context but adds another dimension to her writing and makes it clear she is not on selfish mission by sharing her story.
August 1, 2017
A quick and enjoyable memoir from Janet Mock in which she details her growing up and meeting her first husband in Hawaii, her move to New York for graduate school and work as a magazine editor, and the end of her marriage. She is straightforward in her writing and reflects on the many things she learned, not just pertaining to her career and marriage but also colorism within the black community, racism and sexism in the workforce, "disclosing" oneself as a trans individual, and more. I don't feel that I took away anything new to apply to my own life, but nonetheless it was a lovely read.
August 3, 2017
Another amazing book from Janet Mock! Do yourself a favor and listen to the audiobook. It's so much better hearing her tell her story.
July 1, 2020
I have spent a long time refusing to read memoirs about fellow transpeople. Not out of hate, but because so many of them are about the individual's transition rather than about the individual person themselves. The reason I don't like those is because it feels like giving into cisgender voyeurism. It reduces us to our transition rather than focusing on our lives and what we've learned while living them. I admit I could have just read a handful of bad memoirs, but that's the sense I got from them. Especially after the publication of Jennifer Finney Boylan's She's Not There and all the excitement Oprah generated around that book. I'm not saying that is a bad book, it still sits on my own shelf, but I am saying that it skews an already pretty skewed narrative about transpeople. We are more than the medical procedures we endure.
I bring all of that up because this book is nothing like that. Janet Mock's Surpassing Certainty feels like an actual memoir and I connected with it pretty hard. The fact Janet Mock and I happen to be the same age is one thing, but it's more that she talks about what her life is like throughout the book. It helped me connect with her as a person.
For those of us transwomen that have survived our twenties we get to remember that they were a weird and difficult time that fundamentally shape our lives. We all made mistakes while we tried to find the adult we would become. We all agreed to things that we shouldn't have. Or worked for less than we should have. I just found it important and powerful to read a very successful transwoman's journey through her twenties. I appreciate getting to read about Janet Mock the person rather than Janet Mock's transition.
Maybe I should finally get around to watching Pose.
I bring all of that up because this book is nothing like that. Janet Mock's Surpassing Certainty feels like an actual memoir and I connected with it pretty hard. The fact Janet Mock and I happen to be the same age is one thing, but it's more that she talks about what her life is like throughout the book. It helped me connect with her as a person.
For those of us transwomen that have survived our twenties we get to remember that they were a weird and difficult time that fundamentally shape our lives. We all made mistakes while we tried to find the adult we would become. We all agreed to things that we shouldn't have. Or worked for less than we should have. I just found it important and powerful to read a very successful transwoman's journey through her twenties. I appreciate getting to read about Janet Mock the person rather than Janet Mock's transition.
Maybe I should finally get around to watching Pose.
July 12, 2017
i did not want this book to end! it is a mostly breezy, sometimes touching, and inviting read, with Janet Mock's warmth and resilience shining through the writing. this story of self-discovery and coming into oneself is a lovely tribute to loves of many kinds, to revealing our truths and to spiritual and emotional risk-taking. also to the confusion and heartache and growing pains of our twenties, which as painful as they are, have their place in shaping us and propelling us into our dreams. i want Janet to keep writing and sharing her life with us! i found the book very engaging and moving while also addressing issues like sex work, sexual assault, racism, in a very personal and candid way. i loved both this and her earlier memoir, Redefining Realness, which i highly highly recommend.
the frontispiece:
“And the speaking will get easier and easier. And you fill find you have fallen in love with your own vision, which you may never have realized you had. And you will lose some friends and lovers, and realize you don’t miss them. And new ones will find you and cherish you. And you will still flirt and paint your nails, dress up and party… And at last you’ll know with surpassing certainty that only one thing is more frightening than speaking the truth. And that is not speaking.” (Audre Lorde)
the frontispiece:
“And the speaking will get easier and easier. And you fill find you have fallen in love with your own vision, which you may never have realized you had. And you will lose some friends and lovers, and realize you don’t miss them. And new ones will find you and cherish you. And you will still flirt and paint your nails, dress up and party… And at last you’ll know with surpassing certainty that only one thing is more frightening than speaking the truth. And that is not speaking.” (Audre Lorde)
October 16, 2020
This book continues Janet Mock's memoirs through her twenties. It's well written, and she reveals a lot. I imagine writing it was a bit of a roller coaster for her. Being a stripper, falling in love, going to college and grad school, getting assaulted, marrying young and having it slowly disintegrate, moving from Hawaii to New York City, entering the workplace, encountering subtle discrimination in school and workplace, and mostly hiding the fact that she's transgender. I hadn't realized how much courage it took for her to become a public face as a transgender woman when she could have continued to hide that part of herself.
I like Mock, and she is absolutely right about a bunch of stuff. I like when she calls out racism and transphobia. However, I don't relate so much to how she is such a pretty girl and likes to flaunt it and use it to get what she wants. She has trouble at getting a promotion once, and the word "diva" is used. She chalks it up to racism, and it likely was, but that word had already come to my mind more than once earlier in the book. I guess that helps with becoming a celebrity.
Oh, and I loved the Audre Lord quote at the beginning of the book, which the title comes from.
I like Mock, and she is absolutely right about a bunch of stuff. I like when she calls out racism and transphobia. However, I don't relate so much to how she is such a pretty girl and likes to flaunt it and use it to get what she wants. She has trouble at getting a promotion once, and the word "diva" is used. She chalks it up to racism, and it likely was, but that word had already come to my mind more than once earlier in the book. I guess that helps with becoming a celebrity.
Oh, and I loved the Audre Lord quote at the beginning of the book, which the title comes from.
April 9, 2022
Memoiren sind einfach nicht meine Textgattung, denke ich. Bei dieser fand ich die persönlichen Geschichten leider besonders mühsam: die imaginierten Dialoge zwischen Mock und ihrem Ex-Mann (oder erinnert man sich auch noch zehn Jahre später an jeden non-verbalen und para-verbalen Moment) und die Bridgertonesken Beschreibung von Sex fand ich erstaunlich fade. Überhaupt: die Romantik des Buches ging komplett an mir vorbei, vermutlich weil ich ihren Ehemann von Anfang an eine sehr beige Figur fand.
Spannend waren die Momente, in denen sie sich für ihre Karriere, ihre Träume, ihr Selbst entscheidet - verwässert allerdings mit anekdotischen Geschichten, warum sie eine Mitbewohnerin nicht leiden konnte oder welche Jeanssorte sie trägt.
Inspirierend ja, betulich auch, gewiss empowernd - insgesamt waren die Lebensweisheiten etwas zu postkartenhaft (Choose yourself…) mit zu viel Alltagschichi. Trotzalledem sticht das Buch heraus, da die Autorin eine Geschichte erzählt, von der es viel zu wenige gibt. Und wer sagt schon, dass neue Stimmen auch immer neue Geschen erzählen müssen?!
🎧📖
Spannend waren die Momente, in denen sie sich für ihre Karriere, ihre Träume, ihr Selbst entscheidet - verwässert allerdings mit anekdotischen Geschichten, warum sie eine Mitbewohnerin nicht leiden konnte oder welche Jeanssorte sie trägt.
Inspirierend ja, betulich auch, gewiss empowernd - insgesamt waren die Lebensweisheiten etwas zu postkartenhaft (Choose yourself…) mit zu viel Alltagschichi. Trotzalledem sticht das Buch heraus, da die Autorin eine Geschichte erzählt, von der es viel zu wenige gibt. Und wer sagt schon, dass neue Stimmen auch immer neue Geschen erzählen müssen?!
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June 24, 2017
I had no idea what to expect from "Surpassing Certainty," but Janet Mock exceeded all of my expectations. Mock's second memoir didn't teach about her trans-ness. Instead, she explored the difficulties of navigating the world in your 20s, a decade I'm knee-deep in the throes of. She explores being a first generation graduate student, stripping to provide for herself and her family, marrying a man she loves and learning love is more than a lifetime commitment, moving to New York, and navigating publishing as a Black trans woman.
It's that last part that particularly resonated with me. Mock offers a Black girl's guide for being the "only one" in a predominantly white newsroom and pushing for inclusion through position. "Surpassing Certainty" should be taught in every race in journalism course and gifted to Black women who want to "make it." This book will empower you to achieve what seems impossible.
It's that last part that particularly resonated with me. Mock offers a Black girl's guide for being the "only one" in a predominantly white newsroom and pushing for inclusion through position. "Surpassing Certainty" should be taught in every race in journalism course and gifted to Black women who want to "make it." This book will empower you to achieve what seems impossible.
March 2, 2018
http://mariesbookgarden.blogspot.com/...
Mock's second memoir of her coming out process as a trans woman is just as great as, if not better than, her first book (Redefining Realness). If you have not read Redefining Realness, I strongly suggest you start there.
Janet Mock is an extraordinary woman with a highly colorful journey, full of obstacles and accomplishments. I enjoyed listening to her read the book in her rich, creamy voice.
I felt a little sorry for Troy. He simply could not keep up with her or be as honest and authentic as she is. But I'm glad she has found real love.
Mock pushes through the prejudice that tries to get in her way (racism and transphobia) and also owns her own privilege (being drop-dead beautiful allows her to "pass" more easily as a cisgendered woman than other trans women). I love the fact that she's chosen to live her life out loud, being a role model for other biracial trans women along the way.
Mock's second memoir of her coming out process as a trans woman is just as great as, if not better than, her first book (Redefining Realness). If you have not read Redefining Realness, I strongly suggest you start there.
Janet Mock is an extraordinary woman with a highly colorful journey, full of obstacles and accomplishments. I enjoyed listening to her read the book in her rich, creamy voice.
I felt a little sorry for Troy. He simply could not keep up with her or be as honest and authentic as she is. But I'm glad she has found real love.
Mock pushes through the prejudice that tries to get in her way (racism and transphobia) and also owns her own privilege (being drop-dead beautiful allows her to "pass" more easily as a cisgendered woman than other trans women). I love the fact that she's chosen to live her life out loud, being a role model for other biracial trans women along the way.
January 20, 2019
I read Janet's first memoir and love her to death, but didn't think I would read her second memoir because a friend said it was much of the same.
I ended up reading it for a black feminist book club I frequent and I can tell you it's not the same story! There are new people, new loves, new experiences.
I loved this book. I read it in one day which I can't say for everything I read. Other than her hat tilts to womanist like Audre Lorde, Toni Morrison, and Zora Neale Hurston, my favorite thing about Mock's writing in these memoirs is her honesty! I have always seen her as an advocate for trans women, black women, LGBTQ youth, and sex workers but I love that in this book, she's completely honest about the fact that she hasn't always been 100% woke or socially conscious about everything. That she had to learn some lessons about oppression despite her marginalized identities.
We, as readers, really got to know more about her in this book.
My only complaint is we didn't get to learn that much about her relationship with Aaron. She led with that in Redefining Realness so I thought we would have learned about him by the second book, but he's still a mystery to me.
I ended up reading it for a black feminist book club I frequent and I can tell you it's not the same story! There are new people, new loves, new experiences.
I loved this book. I read it in one day which I can't say for everything I read. Other than her hat tilts to womanist like Audre Lorde, Toni Morrison, and Zora Neale Hurston, my favorite thing about Mock's writing in these memoirs is her honesty! I have always seen her as an advocate for trans women, black women, LGBTQ youth, and sex workers but I love that in this book, she's completely honest about the fact that she hasn't always been 100% woke or socially conscious about everything. That she had to learn some lessons about oppression despite her marginalized identities.
We, as readers, really got to know more about her in this book.
My only complaint is we didn't get to learn that much about her relationship with Aaron. She led with that in Redefining Realness so I thought we would have learned about him by the second book, but he's still a mystery to me.
June 20, 2019
⭐⭐⭐⭐ 3.5-4 stars
If you haven't read "Redefining Realness" Mock's first book please pick it up. I'd never read a book about a Black transwoman before and learned a great deal. It's one of the most riveting memoirs I've read. Her writing is an amalgamation of gender studies, relatable earthiness and pop culture insertions.
"Surpassing Certainty" picks up where her first book left off. She chronicles her life as a young college student seeking love and acceptance to her rise in journalism. She lays bare everything from stripping, *stealthing*, discovering new aspects of Blackness and sisterhood. Most people can attest to learning valuable lessons in their 20s and this is Janet Mock's becoming.
Favorite Quotes: "For so much of my life, I believed that my silence would protect me, that by keeping my circle small, by holding my truth close, by being cautious of others, I would be able to remain safe"
"I aspired daily to be like Toni Morrison’s Sula, a woman who shuns the demands placed on her by her watchful community, a woman who lacks ego, a woman OK in her otherness. She feels no pressure to verify herself. Her only aim is to be consistent, not with the world or those around her, but with herself."
If you haven't read "Redefining Realness" Mock's first book please pick it up. I'd never read a book about a Black transwoman before and learned a great deal. It's one of the most riveting memoirs I've read. Her writing is an amalgamation of gender studies, relatable earthiness and pop culture insertions.
"Surpassing Certainty" picks up where her first book left off. She chronicles her life as a young college student seeking love and acceptance to her rise in journalism. She lays bare everything from stripping, *stealthing*, discovering new aspects of Blackness and sisterhood. Most people can attest to learning valuable lessons in their 20s and this is Janet Mock's becoming.
Favorite Quotes: "For so much of my life, I believed that my silence would protect me, that by keeping my circle small, by holding my truth close, by being cautious of others, I would be able to remain safe"
"I aspired daily to be like Toni Morrison’s Sula, a woman who shuns the demands placed on her by her watchful community, a woman who lacks ego, a woman OK in her otherness. She feels no pressure to verify herself. Her only aim is to be consistent, not with the world or those around her, but with herself."
January 18, 2021
Janet Mock's story is interesting and her writing is good - I very much found myself relating to the way she thought about her relationship with her ex-husband in the way I think about one of my exes. She lost me in her discussion of her jealous roommate when she implied that performing victimhood is the only way only children know how to interact with a group - it was a cheap shot, self-righteous, and clearly born of some unresolved anger at her roommate rather than any knowledge of family psychology. Honestly, that's why this book didn't get four stars. Perhaps it was more an editing oversight, but it only served to undermine her story of herself as a person with integrity who writes what she knows.
August 23, 2018
In another fantastic memoir by Janet Mock, she shares intimate details of her journey to adulthood. Her vulnerability and the breadth of her experiences are inspirational, and her writing makes this book an easy read and a new personal favorite.
I recommend reading her first memoir first, Redefining Realness, where she introduces her story starting with her childhood. The two memoirs flow nicely for anyone reading both, but can also each stand on their own as powerful narratives.
Janet Mock shares real-life stories highlighting her experiences with racism, misogyny, transphobia, poverty, and sex work. Her life story offers a glimpse of context into statistics about trans women of color, many of whom have faced similar barriers. Mock offers a sense of hope that we all can thrive, along with an honest look at how we are impacted by our intersectional identities and the situations we're born into.
I recommend reading her first memoir first, Redefining Realness, where she introduces her story starting with her childhood. The two memoirs flow nicely for anyone reading both, but can also each stand on their own as powerful narratives.
Janet Mock shares real-life stories highlighting her experiences with racism, misogyny, transphobia, poverty, and sex work. Her life story offers a glimpse of context into statistics about trans women of color, many of whom have faced similar barriers. Mock offers a sense of hope that we all can thrive, along with an honest look at how we are impacted by our intersectional identities and the situations we're born into.
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