What do you think?
Rate this book
The Secret Loves of Geek Girls
The Secret Loves of Geek Girls is a non-fiction anthology mixing prose, comics, and illustrated stories on the lives and loves of an amazing cast of female creators. Featuring work by Margaret Atwood (The Heart Goes Last), Mariko Tamaki (This One Summer), Trina Robbins (Wonder Woman), Marguerite Bennett (Marvel's A-Force), Noelle Stevenson (Nimona), Marjorie Liu (Monstress), Carla Speed McNeil (Finder), and over fifty more creators. It's a compilation of tales told from both sides of the tables: from the fans who love video games, comics, and sci-fi to those that work behind the scenes: creators and industry insiders.
279 pages, Paperback
First published December 9, 2015
About the author
Hope Nicholson
17 books204 followersHope Nicholson is the owner of Winnipeg-based publishing Bedside Press. She's an ardent comics fan passionate about bringing new stories to light, and author of the book "The Spectacular Sisterhood of Superwomen" which shines light on characters forgotten by comics history.
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 30 of 538 reviews
June 5, 2020
The Secret Loves of Geek Girls is a non-fiction anthology mixing prose, comics, and illustrated stories on the lives and loves of an amazing cast of female creators.
Can I just say that this was exactly my kind of anthology?
There are a lot of short stories in this one (around 50), so I decided to feature the ones that captured my heart the most:
This review contains mild spoilers.
Comics by Margaret Atwood:
We start out with 4 comics from Margaret Atwood that I throughly enjoyed.
Minas Truth by Marguerite Bennett:
Bennett writes about 'idle fangirl chatter' between two lovers, including: Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter, Wonder Woman... with the focus being mainly on Harry Potter, which I loved. I'm a sucker for anything featuring the Boy Who Lived.
“It’s idle fangirl chatter, yes, but it is secrets, too, knowledge more intimate than you would care to make known to strangers. Would you trust a stranger to know what you saw in the Mirror of Erised? Would you trust a stranger to know what shape the boggart in the wardrobe would take, for you?”
I can honestly say that I never thought of it before… this story made me want to sit down and seriously contemplate. But most of the other references (the ones not Harry Potter related) went shamefully right over my head.
Settings by ALB:
Such a beautifully unique take on emotional support in relationships.
"...except me."
Loved it! I just wanted a bit more pages.
Lungerella by Stephanie Cooke:
I knew this was a keeper from the very first line:
“Once upon a time of technological wonders, there lived a girl named Lungerella. Lungey, as she was called, lived quietly in the woods with her parents where they were super basic.”
Lungerella follows Lungey’s decision to online date because she wants to accomplish the one missing thing in her life: romance.
She goes on Spindr & StupidCupid and is astonished by some of the more crude responses, inducing some dude sending her a picture of his mostly flaccid penis— “Why would anyone send a photo of a flaccid penis? That’s like taking a photo of a sunrise at 3pm!”
I’ve yet to read about online dating, so this definitely managed to pique my interest.
“Lungey had learned that you could have chemistry with someone via text very easily but whether or not that translated into real life was an entirely different matter. It was another way that the Internet had changed dating.”
How Fanfiction Made Me Gay by J.M. Frey:
That title certainly knew how to get my attention…
How Fanfiction Made Me Gay celebrates fanfiction and how it taught the writer to talk about:
• everything there is to know about starting discussions
• everything there is to know about questioning the default “straight” setting
• everything there is to know about relationships
And I absolutely fell in love with the openness and inclusiveness this story featured.
“Fanfiction writers, especially queer ones, found their voices by borrowing a character’s.”
A truly important piece on accepting and discovering oneself.
URL > IRL by Gita Jackson:
Gita Jackson writes about her experience with IRL relationships compared to long- distance relationships.
“I don’t date as an active activity anymore because the work of loving myself is enough. I have long-distance relationships and crushes I’ll never act on because the feeling of liking someone and being liked back is enough. I am enough. I don’t want to have to explain that again.”
She managed to explain a lot of things that have been on the tip of my tongue for a few weeks now. It’s such an exhilarating feeling when someone manages to write about everything you’ve been thinking about.
“In whatever relationship I get into, I have to keep some parts of myself tucked away.”
Shipping by Jenn Woodall:
Jenn Woodall describes her earlier gamer years as being obsessed with Final Fantasy 7.
Her devotion to shipping Cloud + Aeris brought up some cringe-worthy memories of my own...but it's all good now. Definitely a nice walk down memory lane.
Also, I loved the art style in this.
Mechanism by Meaghan Carter:
This was such an unexpectedly sweet story about meeting someone online. It just truly warmed my heart.
The capitalized "HE'S CUTE" screaming in glaring red gets me every damn time!!
But she didn't get the "just friends" text, and now my heart craves to know if she ended up with him... Please, don't leave me hanging like that.
I’m Your Biggest Fan by Adrienne Kress:
Adrienne Kress takes on the subject of crushing on people, and crushes it with brilliance.
“The thing is, there’s a safety and security in crushing on celebrities or the characters they play because deep down we know we’ll never meet them. And therefore they can never disappoint us. But holding people in our real lives up to the same standard gets problematic.”
I also loved how she described her crush for Billy Boyd. And I truly felt her pain when she wrote that she could have come up to Billy Boyd but instead, she ran away.
“I showed up early for the show one evening. I walked into the hotel.
And there, checking in, was Billy Boyd.
I stared.
Now here’s what I could have done: I could have approached him politely and said, “Hi, Mr. Boyd? I just wanted to say I’m a big fan and I don’t want to bother you, but I’m the playwright and director of a play that’s happening in half an hour upstairs, and here’s a postcard with information about it, and if you have the time, maybe you might want to check it out. Of course I totally understand that you’re likely very busy.”
He might have replied with, “Marry me.” But instead, I ran away.”
I was all: go back, please. Even though I would have done the exact same.
“I avoided the reality of having a real-world boyfriend because deep, deep down I liked the fantasy better. And when I finally did date someone I found that the fantasy was indeed much easier. It was safer; it was predictable; it was what I wanted the way I wanted it.
Most of all, I was what I wanted to be.”
So much YES for this piece.
Yes, No, Maybe by Megan Kearney:
Not only was the art in this one gorgeous but it's also my favorite take on demisexuality.
Megan Kearney managed to capture that moment of perfect clarity in such an honest way. Like, "THIS IS A THING. YES, THIS IS A THING."
Couldn't have said it better myself.
Rise of the Late Bloomer by Hope Nicholson:
The story starts out with the writer always wanting to check the ending before starting something - whether that be a book, a game, or... her life.
And as a result, she has this huge fear of dating - mainly because she can’t figure out what will end up happening.
“I ended up hanging out with gay men, and women who didn’t date.
I wonder now if these women were like me and were late bloomers, or whether they were just very discreet in their love affairs. Either way, I never heard about their romantic encounters and it made me feel more at ease. I avoided heterosexual men for years. I was scared of them, and I didn’t know why.”
That last line got me at my core.
“I desired men. Yet, the thought of them being in the same room as me made my skin crawl. The thought of sitting across the room from a stranger no matter how attractive or likeable made my stomach sink.”
I thought this story was leading to asexuality, but she considered herself to be a late bloomer, which was an increasingly interesting narrative to feature.
Heard It Through the Grapevine by Brandy Dawley:
This talks about girl-on-girl hate and how we should abolish its pretence in our relationships with females.
“Women are taught that, to be better than other ladies, we have to cut them down to our level. This is a critical exercise in stupidity, of course, because by pulling other women down, nobody gets ahead—all us ladies are still stuck wallowing in the muck of the trenches while, meanwhile, dudes are pole-vaulting mountains. And there’s a type of guy, he’ll try to work that to his own advantage.”
Super important read.
Popping the Heat Sink by Sam Maggs:
Sam Maggs writes about how unfortunate it is to hate on the girl her ex dated, so she decides to befriend her instead.
“And thus, a beautiful, lifelong friendship was born. Now I love her like she was my own sister—and all because of a shared ex.
Strange as it may sound, I think similar short of foundation is the fundamental tenet of fan communities. You bond with people online or IRL over your shared love—or, sometimes, hatred—for something; be it the fifth season of new Doctor Who (love, obviously), or the lack of a Black Widow solo film (super extra mega hate, but that’s a story for a different essay).”
This reminded me of my own super-extra-mega hate for not having a Black Widow solo movie... But the essay handled a topic I hadn't really thought about before in a thoroughly explained way.
Overall, this collection was exactly what I wanted and more. There was talk of so many subjects in the most inclusive way. I have so much love, love, love for it!
ARC kindly provided by the publisher in exchange for an honest review.
*Note: I'm an Amazon Affiliate. If you're interested in buying The Secret Loves of Geek Girls, just click on the image below to go through my link. I'll make a small commission!*
This review and more can be found on my blog.
January 17, 2016
Ahh what a book. I loved it so much. The contributors are so diverse: LGBQ, trans, poly, asexual, demisexual, you name it, there's a geek girl writing about it. I had to take a break every few essays because I was so emotional. It's really nice to feel understood by something you're reading, but it can be overwhelming when it hits SO close to home. If you call yourself a geek or nerd, there's a story in here for you.
January 28, 2016
Me, while reading this:
It took me a long time to get through this book. Longer than it should have. I couldn't connect with some of the stories, but man, I (overly) connected with others. I laughed a few times, but I cried many times, because the words hit too close to home (looking at you, Marguerite Bennett). This collection is great because there are a lot of stories by many different women, and there's something for every geek girl to connect with.
It's very difficult to get through if you're single and bitter like I am, though, so be careful.
Now I have to figure out what to do with my hair because I'm going to the signing at the comic store down the street and I'll probably end up word vomiting all over Bennett and if I do that, I need to make sure at least my hair looks good.
It took me a long time to get through this book. Longer than it should have. I couldn't connect with some of the stories, but man, I (overly) connected with others. I laughed a few times, but I cried many times, because the words hit too close to home (looking at you, Marguerite Bennett). This collection is great because there are a lot of stories by many different women, and there's something for every geek girl to connect with.
It's very difficult to get through if you're single and bitter like I am, though, so be careful.
Now I have to figure out what to do with my hair because I'm going to the signing at the comic store down the street and I'll probably end up word vomiting all over Bennett and if I do that, I need to make sure at least my hair looks good.
Read
November 29, 2021No rating for this one because I honestly just skimmed it. It was pitched to me as a graphic novel and I was really bummed to see that most of it is actually just essays written in text with the occasional illustration or brief panel. It's not a bad book, just not what I wanted it to be.
April 13, 2018
The Secret Loves of Geek Girls is a nonfiction anthology about crushes and friendships and romantic relationships. It tells a variety of stories, written by contributors that include trans women, bisexual women, and women of color. Most of it is prose, but there are some short comics and illustrations interspersed throughout the book. Some of it is written as advice, and a few pieces play around with format, but lots of pieces are straight-up memoir. The book is full of references to big fandoms, including Harry Potter, Star Trek, and Doctor Who. Sometimes those references are core to the story that's being told, but other times it just adds to the flavor of a piece.
There's a great deal of variety in the tone of this book. Some of the women are clever and sarcastic. Others are earnest and use plain language. There are heartbreaking stories and cute and light stories. Much of the book is hilarious, and I laughed and grinned a lot while reading it. I've lost count of the number of times I sent a panel screenshot or a quote to my friends, begging them to look at it, telling them how perfectly it captured something I've rarely seen articulated before.
I found the book to be incredibly relatable, and would recommend it on that basis alone, but I don't think you have to be a woman to enjoy this book; you just have to like geeky references and to be interested in hearing a woman's point of view.
There's a great deal of variety in the tone of this book. Some of the women are clever and sarcastic. Others are earnest and use plain language. There are heartbreaking stories and cute and light stories. Much of the book is hilarious, and I laughed and grinned a lot while reading it. I've lost count of the number of times I sent a panel screenshot or a quote to my friends, begging them to look at it, telling them how perfectly it captured something I've rarely seen articulated before.
I found the book to be incredibly relatable, and would recommend it on that basis alone, but I don't think you have to be a woman to enjoy this book; you just have to like geeky references and to be interested in hearing a woman's point of view.
December 24, 2015
I'm sitting here in my Doctor Who shirt, after having read two books in three days, reviewing this book while also possibly bawling. Maybe. Okay, I'm bawling.
I'm a late in life geek. Most people realize they are a geek early and have time to acclimate. I was a weird amalgamation of multiple labels growing up. I hung out with the smart kids. We were in AP classes, and were good at school and stuff. I read a great deal, willingly, which was weird at the time. But I was also a fairly gifted athlete, so being a college athlete I hung out with the "cool kids" in college, while readily realizing that I was, indeed, not one of them. (It was super nice of them to put up with me, though. Athletes are a loyal bunch.) My siblings were cool kids, which I think added to the conundrum of where I fit.
Reading this book was like reading narratives that I could have written about myself. I especially connect with the concept of being totally accepting of who you are, but building up walls. Although this does prevent rejection, it also coincides with loneliness. My favorite specific story, or in this case comic, was They Bury You in White by Laura Neubert. Jane Eyre is (one of) my favorite books and the connection I feel with it is much like what she describes.
Overall, wherever your geek life takes you, this book is the best. From a popera (classical pop) loving, classics reading, Doctor Who watching, old movie viewing geek. :)
I'm a late in life geek. Most people realize they are a geek early and have time to acclimate. I was a weird amalgamation of multiple labels growing up. I hung out with the smart kids. We were in AP classes, and were good at school and stuff. I read a great deal, willingly, which was weird at the time. But I was also a fairly gifted athlete, so being a college athlete I hung out with the "cool kids" in college, while readily realizing that I was, indeed, not one of them. (It was super nice of them to put up with me, though. Athletes are a loyal bunch.) My siblings were cool kids, which I think added to the conundrum of where I fit.
Reading this book was like reading narratives that I could have written about myself. I especially connect with the concept of being totally accepting of who you are, but building up walls. Although this does prevent rejection, it also coincides with loneliness. My favorite specific story, or in this case comic, was They Bury You in White by Laura Neubert. Jane Eyre is (one of) my favorite books and the connection I feel with it is much like what she describes.
Overall, wherever your geek life takes you, this book is the best. From a popera (classical pop) loving, classics reading, Doctor Who watching, old movie viewing geek. :)
April 12, 2020
To be fair, I didn't know what this book was when I bought it. I was browsing online for graphic novels and this popped up. I saw that it was an anthology of geeky stories, and that Margaret Atwood was a contributor, so I bought it.
I didn't realize that this isn't entirely a graphic novel - about half of it is made up of short stories. All of the stories are romance oriented with lots of geeky references. There genuinely wasn't a single story I liked. Most were just very boring, and some didn't seem to have anything to say or any entertainment value The whole book is just spotting as many geek references as possible. Super disappointed.
I didn't realize that this isn't entirely a graphic novel - about half of it is made up of short stories. All of the stories are romance oriented with lots of geeky references. There genuinely wasn't a single story I liked. Most were just very boring, and some didn't seem to have anything to say or any entertainment value The whole book is just spotting as many geek references as possible. Super disappointed.
January 28, 2016
Halfway through reading this, a friend asked what I thought of it. I told her I liked it because it gave me a POV on realities I've never experienced. I appreciated the stories from a female/geek/lesbian/coloured/ethnic minority/social outcast perspective. Various combinations of these traits gave me a lot to think about what I felt was by definition "different" than me. The stories themselves are all sorts of funny, touching and consistently interesting. The same holds true for the comics included.
As I went on, I realised that while the specific nature of these differences were objectively alien to me, the idea and the feeling of "different" was not. I too have felt non-fitting at various points in my life, only across other vectors than those described by the authors. Progressing through the stories I felt a meta-connection with aspects of the stories: I too have been painfully rejected and I've clumsily rejected others. I too have felt a deep connection based on understanding and communication. I too have felt dumbfounded with social norms my peers have felt as being only natural. I too have found relief and deep, deep interest in pastimes others thought of as too esoteric or distant or geeky (reading, writing, "strange" music, Lego, etc). And I too have found online communities with similarly minded people around those interests.
I'm so glad I backed this project on Kickstarter. The title might put you off, seeming way too different to your liking. I'd say it's precisely because of this that it'll be really worth your time to read these stories.
As I went on, I realised that while the specific nature of these differences were objectively alien to me, the idea and the feeling of "different" was not. I too have felt non-fitting at various points in my life, only across other vectors than those described by the authors. Progressing through the stories I felt a meta-connection with aspects of the stories: I too have been painfully rejected and I've clumsily rejected others. I too have felt a deep connection based on understanding and communication. I too have felt dumbfounded with social norms my peers have felt as being only natural. I too have found relief and deep, deep interest in pastimes others thought of as too esoteric or distant or geeky (reading, writing, "strange" music, Lego, etc). And I too have found online communities with similarly minded people around those interests.
I'm so glad I backed this project on Kickstarter. The title might put you off, seeming way too different to your liking. I'd say it's precisely because of this that it'll be really worth your time to read these stories.
January 28, 2016
5/5
I adore this anthology. There are a lot of amazing Canadian writers and artists that are showcased in this anthology (which I love seeing as a Canadian!)
But with this anthology, I found a lot of resemblance to myself and I think that is what made it so appealing. Realistically, I think that's why it was made, and why it's so important that it was made.
I think this work finally shows the three dimensional female figures that we all know exist in the geek world, but are rarely seeing when reading or taking in content related to geek girls.
This is refreshing and amazing and a real look at the relationship (platonic and non-platonic) issues that everyone deals with, but from the perspective from women that I can identify with. Representation is so important and this work hits so many marks.
Additionally, it's very easy to read. You can pick it up and read a little bit, or read the entire thing. It's also the kind of work that can be re-read over and over.
This is great. Please read it.
I adore this anthology. There are a lot of amazing Canadian writers and artists that are showcased in this anthology (which I love seeing as a Canadian!)
But with this anthology, I found a lot of resemblance to myself and I think that is what made it so appealing. Realistically, I think that's why it was made, and why it's so important that it was made.
I think this work finally shows the three dimensional female figures that we all know exist in the geek world, but are rarely seeing when reading or taking in content related to geek girls.
This is refreshing and amazing and a real look at the relationship (platonic and non-platonic) issues that everyone deals with, but from the perspective from women that I can identify with. Representation is so important and this work hits so many marks.
Additionally, it's very easy to read. You can pick it up and read a little bit, or read the entire thing. It's also the kind of work that can be re-read over and over.
This is great. Please read it.
June 19, 2017
ok guys, I really LOVED this. some stories hit me harder than others but when they did, damn, they hit hard. this anthology is so honest, and fun, and dark, and simple, and complicated: everything love is. also, it's inclusive AND diverse!
the comics are wonderful and the stories too. there's so many ladies I admite in this!
URGH I JUST REALLY LIKED THIS AND CAN'T MAKE ANY SENSE OF MY FEELINGS
full review here: https://catshelf.wordpress.com/2016/0...
the comics are wonderful and the stories too. there's so many ladies I admite in this!
URGH I JUST REALLY LIKED THIS AND CAN'T MAKE ANY SENSE OF MY FEELINGS
full review here: https://catshelf.wordpress.com/2016/0...
March 1, 2016
I backed this on Kickstarter so, full disclosure there. Also I did not intend to sit down and read this in one sitting but I did. I feel like I read it a bit too fast (I definitely didn't; I've apparently been sitting here for a while). When I read this again, and I'm sure there will be several repeat readings, I may need to stretch out. One work a day or something.
Being a Geek Girl (nerd girl, fangirl, whatever your preferred nomenclature) can be an isolating experience as much as it is a collective one. Until you venture out onto the Internet (in my case, I didn't have internet in my house until I was 14 and I first stumbled onto the whole fanfiction concept on the library computers when I was 12 or 13) and see that there are others that share your interests. It's not unusual to be the only person you know who has deep feelings about Star Trek, will lecture on how Gandalf is basically a lesser deity, and hopes for an FBI profiler and a homicidal cannibal to run off into the sunset together, or a whole host of other references I could make here.
Fandom is how some of us first understand relationships, straight and not so straight, it's how we make friends, how we figure ourselves out, how certain issues are brought to our attention. We wonder if anyone will ever love us and resign ourselves (or become extremely comfortable with) the fact that no one will ever get us or take us seriously because of our intense hobbies. Fandom, especially as practiced by girls and women, gets a bad rap and getting a wide variety of experience of female geekdom in many variety of forms and time periods (Margaret Atwood has COMICS in here) is as interesting as it is affirming.
It was a fabulous read. Hit home in many ways for me and I know I'm not the only one.
Being a Geek Girl (nerd girl, fangirl, whatever your preferred nomenclature) can be an isolating experience as much as it is a collective one. Until you venture out onto the Internet (in my case, I didn't have internet in my house until I was 14 and I first stumbled onto the whole fanfiction concept on the library computers when I was 12 or 13) and see that there are others that share your interests. It's not unusual to be the only person you know who has deep feelings about Star Trek, will lecture on how Gandalf is basically a lesser deity, and hopes for an FBI profiler and a homicidal cannibal to run off into the sunset together, or a whole host of other references I could make here.
Fandom is how some of us first understand relationships, straight and not so straight, it's how we make friends, how we figure ourselves out, how certain issues are brought to our attention. We wonder if anyone will ever love us and resign ourselves (or become extremely comfortable with) the fact that no one will ever get us or take us seriously because of our intense hobbies. Fandom, especially as practiced by girls and women, gets a bad rap and getting a wide variety of experience of female geekdom in many variety of forms and time periods (Margaret Atwood has COMICS in here) is as interesting as it is affirming.
It was a fabulous read. Hit home in many ways for me and I know I'm not the only one.
December 24, 2015
I would pay good money to someone to take a side-trip in a TARDIS and drop this book off into the mailbox of my 14-year-old self.
Or, even better, for a mysterious rich patron to distribute a copy of it to all CURRENT adolescent girls. Geek and non-geek ones alike.
Even at the age of one-week-short-of-30, The Secret Loves of Geek Girls seriously changed my life. It's going to be a while before I can put it all to words, because right now I am just sitting like a happy little bundle under the Christmas tree, having an overload of warm, fuzzy, nostalgic feels, and some tears.
This book doesn't explain, deconstruct, or preach. It just tells stories. Women of all ages, backgrounds, interests, fandoms and identities come together to talk about the million ways love and geekery can intersect. They (we) all speak the same language, and I reveled in that. It is all personal storytelling, in word and in imagery, and I mean personal in all the ways possible. The whole book is open-minded and open-hearted. I found pieces of my own story in many of them, and the ones where I didn't showed me pieces of alternate universes without trying to educate me, or claiming to know it all.
The Secret Loves of Geek Girls is a delightful welcome to an international sisterhood, telling women of all ages and all backgrounds that "it is called Geek Love, and it is Okay."
Or, even better, for a mysterious rich patron to distribute a copy of it to all CURRENT adolescent girls. Geek and non-geek ones alike.
Even at the age of one-week-short-of-30, The Secret Loves of Geek Girls seriously changed my life. It's going to be a while before I can put it all to words, because right now I am just sitting like a happy little bundle under the Christmas tree, having an overload of warm, fuzzy, nostalgic feels, and some tears.
This book doesn't explain, deconstruct, or preach. It just tells stories. Women of all ages, backgrounds, interests, fandoms and identities come together to talk about the million ways love and geekery can intersect. They (we) all speak the same language, and I reveled in that. It is all personal storytelling, in word and in imagery, and I mean personal in all the ways possible. The whole book is open-minded and open-hearted. I found pieces of my own story in many of them, and the ones where I didn't showed me pieces of alternate universes without trying to educate me, or claiming to know it all.
The Secret Loves of Geek Girls is a delightful welcome to an international sisterhood, telling women of all ages and all backgrounds that "it is called Geek Love, and it is Okay."
April 11, 2018
THIS!!
This non fiction literally touches on so many aspects that are either me or so close to me that it felt too good to be true!!
I'm reading this and literally having to stop because these are the people I've been looking for and I understood so much of the sentiments and feelings that it was hard to dismiss this as anything but facts.
Growing up in a large city has it's own nuances and yes, makes finding like minded people just as hard as in a small city. As a fellow lady nerd who's also an introvert, the idea of socializing and not being able to "be yourself" is something I know well and reading these very same people go forth and try made me rethink somethings!
I highlighted too many sections in the e-book I borrowed from my library so I might need to buy my own copy! Thanks to all the awesome ladies that wrote, illustrated, edited, and put this out there!
This non fiction literally touches on so many aspects that are either me or so close to me that it felt too good to be true!!
I'm reading this and literally having to stop because these are the people I've been looking for and I understood so much of the sentiments and feelings that it was hard to dismiss this as anything but facts.
Growing up in a large city has it's own nuances and yes, makes finding like minded people just as hard as in a small city. As a fellow lady nerd who's also an introvert, the idea of socializing and not being able to "be yourself" is something I know well and reading these very same people go forth and try made me rethink somethings!
I highlighted too many sections in the e-book I borrowed from my library so I might need to buy my own copy! Thanks to all the awesome ladies that wrote, illustrated, edited, and put this out there!
October 2, 2018
What's your Patronus? I ask, and it seems strange that I have not asked until now.
These are the questions that matter more, more than how many siblings we have, than what our parents do for a living, then what television shows we follow in the fall. What is your Patronus?
What is the thing that represents all protection to you, all reassurance, all strength, all love?
What is the happiest moment you can remember, to summon the spell to you? What drives away the dark in your heart?
The Secret Loves of Geeks Girls is a collection of essays and comics from the Geeky Girls of the world exploring the trials and tribulations of love.
For some reason that was not what I thought I was getting into. Okay, look here's my problem, I'll go into a library looking for something specific, have loads of other things that catch my eye and look vaguely familiar from Goodreads and borrow them too. I really should stop doing it, but I know that I probably won't because sometimes it really pays off. My memory is not reliable, so often, what I grab is not what I thought it was. That brings us to The Secret Loves of Geek Girls.
But, honestly, enough with all of these questions. You should know better than to kiss a writer. They always tell.
First off the bat I kept reading the title as The Secret Lives of Geek Girls so, right off the bat, not doing great. I thought it would be a fiction story about girls geeking out over their pop culture loves. I also thought this was a very thick graphic novel so yeah, kinda was very wrong there. Anyway, once I got over my initial thought of 'WTF is this, I'm so confused?', I settled in for what I hoped would be an enlightening experience.
Boy was I enlightened. I mean I didn't really learn anything about love and relationships that I didn't already know. But I did learn things about myself, was reminded of lessons already learnt and was hit fucking hard by the roller coaster of emotions that came with some of the entries.
The thing about TSLOGG (I refuse to keep typing out that damn title, its just so long) is that every single geek girl should be able to find a piece of herself in this book. I found pieces of myself spread through out the whole thing, and I did possibly learn something about myself but I'll get to that a bit later.
I am only ever half-tamed. And the happiest moment of my life was the moment I knew I could be free. Riding my selfishness, my ambition, my stories, ever to the ends of the earth, ever from the dark and the cold.
The first entry I fell in love with was Minas Tirth by Marguerite Bennett. It was just so beautifully written and Bennett got me. I mean the woman chose a fox as her Patronus!
I felt this huge connection with her, it reminded me that my choices are my choices and although they may be viewed as selfish, they are mine to make regardless. I'm sure that is not what I was meant to take away from it. I'm sure I was probably meant to be reminded that romantic relationships with people I care about should matter more to me than my career, my ambition but honestly it just cemented my belief in what I already know, and that is that I need to look out for myself and do the things that make me happy. Ambition, having something to strive towards, being able to list my achievements, that does make me happy and I won't apologize for it.
While I was touring university campuses, I screwed up my courage and told my parents I was bisexual. It was the label that made the most sense to me at the time.
I like fantasizing about Methos. But I liked Xena, too.
"How can you know that?" my mother asked. "You've never even kissed a girl."
I hadn't kiss a boy then yet, either. Yet it was assumed that I was straight because that was the default, even though I hadn't done anything with anyone.
That shocked me.
For the first time I really understood that people were assumed straight until proven otherwise. That people around me that that the world really was like it was portrayed on television, and not at all as diverse and colorful as I had read about in fanfiction.
How Fanfiction Made Me Gay by J.M. Frey taught me that I might be demisexual and/or greyace. I had heard of demisexual before but never really new what it meant and greyace was entirely new to me. So when Frey explained further what those terms mean, I was excited. This is the closest I have ever been to figuring out how I identify in the entirety of my sexual and romantic attractions and that is thanks to TSLOGG.
Not only that, Frey spoke to the part of me who felt like she couldn't include herself in with LGTBQI+ people. I felt like I was a fraud trying to do so. I'd spent so long assuming myself to be straight that my attraction to girls or anyone anywhere on the gender binary was normal. That I was just super comfortable with my sexuality. Nope. Wrong. Greyson, ya big dummy, you were the opposite. It wasn't until very recently that I have finally been comfortable including myself in the LGBTQI+ community, labeling myself as queer/questioning, being okay with not knowing just yet, and maybe never knowing for sure. Now I have so much to explore, so much research to do (I love me some good research). I've been wondering around the woods aimlessly not understanding any of the signs and someone's finally pointed in a direction and told me "try there". For that alone I am so very thankful I picked up this book. For that I am thankful for Frey.
I'm at the point where I feel like normal courtship is a human ritual that is awful from top to bottom, but we've just convinced ourselves that we enjoy it. It's a hassle. It's a time suck. The highs can be high, yes, but the lows are often so very, very low. When you add any kind of modifier to your person-nerd, hipster, black, queer, female-the highs become unreachable peaks and the lows are the valleys that you live in.
Gita Jackson's URL>IRL reminded me of Nola Darling from She's Gotta Have it. I think it was Jackson's incredible and beautiful way of communicating her point, explaining things in way that helps others understand, who perhaps otherwise wouldn't have. I just really loved this one.
When people demand that I explain myself, I don't think they care how long it took for me to understand the whole arc of my life. How long it took me to wipe off a veneer of irony when I talked about liking games or anime or K-Pop. How long it took me to look in the mirror and appreciate the lines of my own face, my wide nose, and my big lips.
When I inevitably deliver my lecture, it's like being asked to learn to love myself all over again. It's hard to even like the people who ask me to do that. It took a lot of work to love myself. How dare you ask me to justify that?
I connected with Jackson's unwillingness to explain herself, that it took her a long time to get to a place where she unashamedly loves herself and she is not in the business of questioning that every time someone wants her to explain who she is, so she refuses to comply. She cuts out a part of life that everyone else seems to think is mandatory, they're obsessed with it. She's unwilling to carry on with a process that is not benefiting her. She chooses self-love. That is something to aspire to.
I don't date as an activity anymore because the work of loving myself is enough. I have long-distance relationships and crushes I'll never act on because the feeling of liking someone and being liked back is enough. I am enough. I don't want to have to explain that again.
You were so afraid as a child. Did anyone ever realize that? Is that one of your great secrets?
You would wander into the woods surrounding your home and stay there for fours with the dogs and the cats who followed you from the house, and in those shadows you prayed for magic to find you and that didn't frighten you, not in the slightest, not the solitude of nature, but oh my God you were wary of people. You were not born that way, but you learned a lesson early on, and it took you many years to unwind from that coiled place.
Ghost by Marjorie Liu ripped my fucking heart out. This essay is so heart wrenching that if you finish it and it didn't leave you an emotional wreck then you have no soul, you're probably at least a little fucked up and should be locked away from others. It was intense, and emotional, and just... there's not real way to relay how important Ghost is.
I mean huge trigger warning: rape. So if that's a trigger for you then please for the love of God don't hurt yourself by reading it. If that's not a problem for you then you have to read it. No, I'm being 100% serious here. This is a must read, especially in our climate, especially as fellow geek women but especially if you're a man. Just fucking read it. If you read nothing else in this book, read this if it's safe for you to do so.
Also a small mention to make is that Ghost deals with the tangled mess that is trauma and memory and it's so fucking rare to see it portrayed in a way that I actually related to. So there's also that too.
Boys say that we girls gossip too much-maybe we do. Or maybe we gossip just enough.
And maybe that's our secret weapon. Pass it on.
Listen there were a number of entries in here that I didn't like, or just didn't connect with me at all. And that's okay. What was great about this book was that it was so fucking diverse. It was a collection of thoughts from all across girl geekdom. It's what makes this so amazing.
TSLOGG felt like a call to arms for all the fellow geek girls to get together and just fucking talk. Not just about are mutual fandoms but about the actual real shit in our lives. To be open and honest and communicate with each other even if we're scared that our thoughts and feelings make us weird. Because hello, that's why we're all friends in the first place. We already know we're seen as weird by society, so why not fucking embrace all of it, be honest and help each other? We are so much stronger when we're together. Female friendships are so fucking important. Share with each other. Get too deep. Tell each other you're deepest fears and wildest dreams.
I wasn't going to review TSLOGG, but I'm extremely glad I did. I recommend everyone pick it up, even if it is just so flip through and read just the parts that interest you. The only reason why I have rated it higher is because I didn't connect and/or love all of it but boy when I did...
Just do yourself a favour and pick up a copy, whether you buy or loan it, please just give it a go.
You know where God lives and God is in paint and ink and pencil and the page;
you fell in love and became that love. Transformed, like in a fairy tale. A girl who became a wolf,
focused and hungry for only one thing; story.
You never stopped hunting stories. Little wolf, persistent but timid, prowling shelves and stacks;
anywhere there were books, that was the forest you claimed. You found a frontier in your school library, rushing inside every morning where you were most alive, books were places you could pretend you were brave. Books were walls against everything that frightened you.
—
I read this book as part of my 2018 Library Love binge, where I read as many library books as possible to take advantage of my great local library network before I move interstate!
___
│Blog│Instagram│Twitter│Tumblr│
February 7, 2017
Borrowed this from the library as Margaret Atwood was a contributor to the mix of short stories and graphic novels (can you call them graphic novels when they're less than 5 pages long?). Only dipped in here and there as it wasn't really my cup of tea. Stories were too short and tried too hard to be clever.
February 11, 2017
Kinda all over the place, but I blame that mostly on the changing media and how many contributors there were. I feel like it would have benefited by dividing and expanding.
March 30, 2017
Interesting, for sure, with some insightful essays and stories, but a lot of the stories were too genre-specific for me to really connect to.
September 12, 2017
A great mix of stories about the Secret Loves of Geek Girls. I personally loved that it mixed stories, short comics, and essays covering loves from fandom to loving relationships, from friends to lovers, happily ever afters to heartbreaks.
Read
December 30, 2017This anthology about geek girls and their relationships was an interesting reading experience. It's a mix of short stories and comics. The artwork is beautiful. Some of the stories were fantastic; some were dull. Overall, I enjoyed it, but no need to race to your nearest book buying facility.
April 5, 2017
Positively delightful! This is an anthology, a mixture of comics and prose revolving around the theme of the title. Most of the stories seem to be autobiography, not surprising really. There are tales of first loves and crushes and the awkwardness of figuring out how dating and relationships work anyway (hint: It involves much more improvisation than is apparent at first glance. Most people are just as nervous about it as you; they're just putting up a good front.) Although I've never been female, I can relate to many of these stories, being a fairly sizeable geek myself, and a late bloomer to boot. There's a wonderful feeling of camaraderie to this book, a sense that we're all in this together and that you're not the only one who's ever felt this way. There is an incredible array of talent on display in this book. Possibly the most unusual entry is a series of four panel comic strips written and drawn by Margaret Atwood, who is not generally known for her comics work. In all, this is an amazing book! Highly, highly recommended!
December 11, 2016
I loved this book. There were some that were a little weird and random but, for the most part, completely relateable. The awkwardness of not dating when all you other friends were or not dating until you were a little older. Finding people who really get you and all different types of relationships. These woman talk about it all. There many times where I wished I had this in my early 20s.
August 16, 2017
There's about 10 stand out pieces in here. The rest are fine. Overwhelmingly a whole lot of people presentating variations on "I was isolated because of my geekdom and then my geekdom connected me!" -- a story I resonate with, but at some point, got repetitive. #I'mOld #GetOffMyLawn
November 17, 2017
3.75 Stars
April 15, 2019
I found a lot of the essays either not super well written, or entirely too dependent on fandom metaphors to hold my interest. That said, some of the art was gorgeous, and I immediately loved Love In The Time of Ethernet.
May 28, 2017
This book is about love. The love of all things geeky, the love of other people like us. Learning that love isn't just about liking the same things, as in the story "Nerd Love" by Irene Koh. Reticent and reserved love, trapped in a world that seems sex obsessed as related by Megan Kearney.
Love of movie stars who represent something they're not. Love of superheroes. Love of everything with David Bowie in it. Long-distance love conducted entirely by computer terminal and iPhone. Love we can never have in real life.
Love of books.
Love and a life of the mind.
Because the mind is the best aphrodisiac.
And so, with love, read on.
I borrowed this as an ebook from the library, but I 100% need to buy a physical copy of my own, just to have it on hand and revisit some of these stories -- screencaps aren't enough. It's a nonfiction anthology about, yes, love, of all shapes and sizes and types. Most of them are memoir-y, some in the form of short stories, others as short comics. There's some great diversity here, too, with queer, trans, poly, ace, and demisexual ladies telling their tales.
As I mentioned in status updates, there was something almost-painful about reading this, because it hit too close to home, and made me feel seen and known -- in a way that was comforting, but also vaguely unsettling in how it touched on the exact experiences I've had. Looking at all of the top Goodreads reviews, I see a lot of women pointing out how they saw the resemblance to theirselves, how we saw ourselves echoed in these stories; all showing that you are not alone, you are not the only one going through this. I'm not even going to specifically namedrop which stories struck the biggest chord with me, because it's actually too personal.
But there is just something so refreshing and powerful about having these subjects on display, and being discussed in the open, and hearing from so many different perspectives of the eponymous 'geek girl'.
So, yes. I loved this.
Some other favourite quotes below:
July 31, 2019
HOLY FREAKIN SHIT! What is this amazing level of relate?? Though some stories weren't relatable at all, some are OVERLY relatable. Again, why did it take me so long to finish this? Also, great comics and cute illustrations, definitely a huge plus.
Shelved as 'dnf-or-set-aside-for-now'
September 17, 2017This book offers a large collection of short stories by and about women. The tales cover myriad subjects, not the least of which is sexuality. For those who think this is 'just another graphic novel,' please be warned that the subject matter is often mature and should be targeted to young adults and, perhaps, very mature middle graders.
The stories are important and validate many of the feelings that women have felt unable to express in other media. It is an inclusive book that does not shy away from LGBTQIA topics.
Our oldest daughter loved this book and highly recommended it for me to read, but cautioned that perhaps our youngest daughter wasn't quite ready for it yet. I agree.
interesting quotes:
Hope Nicholson, from the Note from the Editor:
"And just know that if we're all weird and we're okay, no matter what your weirdness is, you'll be okay too." (p. 8)
Kelly Sue DeConnick, from the Foreword:
"Writing is hard. Writing that is good, writing that is powerful enough to evoke a change or an authentic emotion or even just an idea in another human being is about as mysterious as an alchemical recipe, but there are a few known ingredients. Craft? Yes, absolutely. Devotion? A load - yes! Humility? Not vital, I suppose, but all my favorites include at least a dash. Before those can be added to the cauldron though, you must have a base of Honesty. Honesty is difficult to find in public spaces these days (and getting harder every goddamn day) but if you're quiet, and patient, you can usually find some hidden in your room somewhere. (It helps to turn off the lights, for some reason.) Problem is, Honesty is invariably bound to Vulnerability and the only thing that cuts the bitterness of Vulnerability is Courage. And Courage?
Well. Courage is the hardest thing of all." (p. 9)
"Speak Truths, even and especially those truths that make us uncomfortable...
1) Lead with Your Heart;
2) Find Your People;
3) Foster Community;
4) Listen; and
5) Seek to Be Uncomfortable Yourself." (pp. 9-10)
"Merely by having the gall to exist, this book acts as a bolster for an underserved community of readers, to say nothing of its community of creators." (p. 10)
Colleen Doran, from the Introduction:
"Love of books.
Love and a life of the mind.
Because the mind is the best aphrodisiac.
And so, with love, read on." (p. 12)
Erin Cossar:
"I am from an isolated, rural town on the East Coast and was eager to get out of Heather Chandlerville and find other well-read, alternachick Veronica Sawyers with weird interests." (p. 42)
"" (p.)
"" (p.)
"" (p.)
"" (p.)
"" (p.)
"" (p.)
The stories are important and validate many of the feelings that women have felt unable to express in other media. It is an inclusive book that does not shy away from LGBTQIA topics.
Our oldest daughter loved this book and highly recommended it for me to read, but cautioned that perhaps our youngest daughter wasn't quite ready for it yet. I agree.
interesting quotes:
Hope Nicholson, from the Note from the Editor:
"And just know that if we're all weird and we're okay, no matter what your weirdness is, you'll be okay too." (p. 8)
Kelly Sue DeConnick, from the Foreword:
"Writing is hard. Writing that is good, writing that is powerful enough to evoke a change or an authentic emotion or even just an idea in another human being is about as mysterious as an alchemical recipe, but there are a few known ingredients. Craft? Yes, absolutely. Devotion? A load - yes! Humility? Not vital, I suppose, but all my favorites include at least a dash. Before those can be added to the cauldron though, you must have a base of Honesty. Honesty is difficult to find in public spaces these days (and getting harder every goddamn day) but if you're quiet, and patient, you can usually find some hidden in your room somewhere. (It helps to turn off the lights, for some reason.) Problem is, Honesty is invariably bound to Vulnerability and the only thing that cuts the bitterness of Vulnerability is Courage. And Courage?
Well. Courage is the hardest thing of all." (p. 9)
"Speak Truths, even and especially those truths that make us uncomfortable...
1) Lead with Your Heart;
2) Find Your People;
3) Foster Community;
4) Listen; and
5) Seek to Be Uncomfortable Yourself." (pp. 9-10)
"Merely by having the gall to exist, this book acts as a bolster for an underserved community of readers, to say nothing of its community of creators." (p. 10)
Colleen Doran, from the Introduction:
"Love of books.
Love and a life of the mind.
Because the mind is the best aphrodisiac.
And so, with love, read on." (p. 12)
Erin Cossar:
"I am from an isolated, rural town on the East Coast and was eager to get out of Heather Chandlerville and find other well-read, alternachick Veronica Sawyers with weird interests." (p. 42)
"" (p.)
"" (p.)
"" (p.)
"" (p.)
"" (p.)
"" (p.)
November 19, 2016
This was a mixed one for me but the majority of the book I did really like or related to in some form or other. It's a hard one to review because there are so may different formats and styles throughout that you're bound to like/love some and not like others, but I definitely think there were more I enjoyed a lot than not.
This is a book which includes various female creators in various medias talking about their loves, lives and passions. We see most 'stories' take up between 1-5pgs and so each one is pretty short, and you move quickly through comic strip, essay, fiction and poetry.
What I most enjoyed about this was that it's incredibly geeky. If you like SFF then it's more than likely you'll relate to a lot of this. If you're female and you've enjoyed SFF since you were younger then maybe you'll relate to a whole lot of this. I personally related more to the geeky things than I did the 'love' things, but that's going to always be different for everyone, so that's just my experience.
Overall I would say that the first half of the book contained more of my favourites, but it's a solid read throughout and many of the themes discussed and feelings laid bare are beautiful, moving or through-provoking and I definitely think I took a lot away from the collection. 4*s
This is a book which includes various female creators in various medias talking about their loves, lives and passions. We see most 'stories' take up between 1-5pgs and so each one is pretty short, and you move quickly through comic strip, essay, fiction and poetry.
What I most enjoyed about this was that it's incredibly geeky. If you like SFF then it's more than likely you'll relate to a lot of this. If you're female and you've enjoyed SFF since you were younger then maybe you'll relate to a whole lot of this. I personally related more to the geeky things than I did the 'love' things, but that's going to always be different for everyone, so that's just my experience.
Overall I would say that the first half of the book contained more of my favourites, but it's a solid read throughout and many of the themes discussed and feelings laid bare are beautiful, moving or through-provoking and I definitely think I took a lot away from the collection. 4*s
March 13, 2018
As many of my friends and followers know, I very rarely give ratings of 5 stars. Also, I'm not a huge fan of autobiographies, which this collection of essays, prose, comics, and illustrated stories can be viewed as autobiographical. Yet, this anthology really grabbed me. I had to take it in chunks, at times, because many of the stories contained within really hit close to home, and some are just so full of emotion, that I had to take time to process those feelings.
Growing up geeky or nerdy, in the 1950s, made me quite the outcast. The 1960s changed that a little bit, but only in a few realms. Reading fantasies (unicorns and fairies) was okay, but hard science fiction was still considered a boys-only club, as well as comic books, etc.
Under these circumstances, relationships can sometimes have a few challenges that might not be part of the non-geek girl's life. Which is what this anthology covers. The very diverse set of writers tell, in their own ways, their experiences with love and relationships.
Growing up geeky or nerdy, in the 1950s, made me quite the outcast. The 1960s changed that a little bit, but only in a few realms. Reading fantasies (unicorns and fairies) was okay, but hard science fiction was still considered a boys-only club, as well as comic books, etc.
Under these circumstances, relationships can sometimes have a few challenges that might not be part of the non-geek girl's life. Which is what this anthology covers. The very diverse set of writers tell, in their own ways, their experiences with love and relationships.
July 25, 2017
I think the 2 stars I'm giving this is generous, but it's solely for the comics. First, I didn't realize the bulk of this would be personal dating stories, told in the modern personal essay style. This combines two things into something that I, upon finishing this anthology, realize I simply do not like. All of the stories honestly felt the same to me. I didn't relate to any of them and since I don't like the style, I wasn't entertained or enlightened by them - with the only exception being the one story that was about Bioware romances because I, at least, got that and even that one was still in the same tone/style as the rest, so it kinda was flat for me, too.
I liked several of the comics, though. Many were cute and fun, and some were serious. But many of them were a fun read. There just wasn't enough of them.
I basically skipped/skimmed the bulk of this. Disappointing since I was looking forward to reading it.
I liked several of the comics, though. Many were cute and fun, and some were serious. But many of them were a fun read. There just wasn't enough of them.
I basically skipped/skimmed the bulk of this. Disappointing since I was looking forward to reading it.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 538 reviews