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272 pages, Hardcover
First published September 22, 2015
"If we could know the future our jobs would be a lot easier."
If I sound the alarm and the patient is OK, then I over-reacted and have untrustworthy clinical judgment. If I don't call in the calvary when it's needed, then I'm negligent and unsafe for patients. You don't always know because what goes on inside human bodies can be hidden and subtle. This job would be easier if there weren't such a narrow divide between being the canary in the coal mine and Chicken Little.
I watch the intern walk down the hall, slightly stopped, as if he bears the weight of the world on his shoulders. But it is I who will give Mr. Hampton his Rituxan, who will monitor him for serious changes in blood pressure, heart rate, and breathing, who will need to call this intern, or his replacement, if the treatment intended to heal ends up hurting instead. The intern doesn't know this drug as well as I do. The intern won't be the person hooking it up to Mr. Hampton's IV, watching it run down the plastic tubing directly into his vein, knowing that if things go badly, it will be result of the work of my own hands.
The more patients an individual nurse cares for, the smaller amount of TLC per patient. More significantly, research on staffing levels has made it pretty clear that the more patients a nurse has above a certain number (the number itself depends on the patient population and how sick the patients are), the larger the likelihood a patient will die who wouldn't have otherwise. In other words, nurse-to-patient ratios aren't just about patients feeling cared for; they're also about fragile people staying alive.
As force from the syringe makes blood swirl into the saline I stop and watch it billow like silk. Red. Beautiful. I never gave blood too much though before I took this job, but now I revere it. Blood is the liquid of life. Red cells give oxygen, platelets form clots, and white cells protect us from infection. Without healthy blood humans cannot live.
In all the hurly-burly, I'd forgotten, but now I remember: The most important thing of all is that everyone's alive at the end of the day.