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Spotless #1
Spotless
Island Chaptal—nerdy IT engineer by day, romance novel junkie by night—just walked into her messy New York apartment to find Mr. Right waiting for her. No, wait…Mr. Clean.
A gentleman professional killer with a bad case of OCD and zero tolerance for unsorted laundry, March isn’t there to kill her…yet. He wants the diamond her late mother stole for a sinister criminal organization. Island agrees to help him find it, facing the kind of adversaries who dismember first and ask questions later. Good thing she’s got March to show her the ropes. And the guns. And the knives.
The buttoned-up Island is soon having a blast racing from Paris to Tokyo following the clues in her mother’s will, and for the first time, she’s ready to get close to someone. But falling for a hit man may be the very definition of loving dangerously.
Spotless marks the beginning of Island and March’s ongoing adventures.
A gentleman professional killer with a bad case of OCD and zero tolerance for unsorted laundry, March isn’t there to kill her…yet. He wants the diamond her late mother stole for a sinister criminal organization. Island agrees to help him find it, facing the kind of adversaries who dismember first and ask questions later. Good thing she’s got March to show her the ropes. And the guns. And the knives.
The buttoned-up Island is soon having a blast racing from Paris to Tokyo following the clues in her mother’s will, and for the first time, she’s ready to get close to someone. But falling for a hit man may be the very definition of loving dangerously.
Spotless marks the beginning of Island and March’s ongoing adventures.
Audio CD
First published May 12, 2015
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 641 reviews
May 16, 2018
Audio is definitely 5 stars too.
The narrator does a marvelous job giving the hilariously quirky Island a voice. Each chapter opening gives us a great example of the narrators talent. It wasn't unusual for me to laugh out loud because I just couldn't help myself. This led to some very embarrassing moments on my train trips to work.
I loved reading Spotless myself and listening to the audio, I loved it more.
********
I couldn't pick my favourite part of Spotless it was all good
I really, really enjoyed Spotless. This book had so many parts to it that I couldn't pinpoint exactly which part was my favourite. The beginning was hilarious, the middle was creepy bordering on psycho chicken, Hannibal grossness and the ending was action packed, guns blazing fast. Island, yes that's her name, is a quirky and nerdy virgin, who's looking for a love similar to her romance books. One day she returns home early from work to find a strange man in her apartment. At first she thinks he's there for her roommate Joy, but soon learns that March, his codename, is there for her. And while he's there...he might as well do a spot of cleaning. March is a hitman with a slight (MAJOR) OCD problem. In his case OCD stands for Obsessive Cleaning Disorder.
After a slight tussle, a major migraine and a cleaning frenzy, March kidnaps Island. He needs her to help recover something that was misplaced when Island's mother died fifteen years earlier. The kidnapping turns into a mad dash across the world, avoiding people trying to kill them, but also meeting some very interesting people too. Being stuck with March for days, and learning more about him, gives Island a case of Stockholm Syndrome. She's attracted to him and he shows a degree of interest in her too, but he pushes her away to get the job done.
I hated seeing Island hurt by not having her feelings returned, but I could also see that this wasn't the right time for Island and March. There are a couple of passionate kisses, but I'm hoping the next installment takes things further.
Island learns that her mother isn't who she thought she was. She looks back at her time with her mum and realises she'd missed obvious signs of a cover up. People have been, and still are keeping a lot of secrets. I'm not sure Island will ever get to the bottom of them all.
Honestly, this was one of the funniest and craziest books I've read in a long time. The characters are funny, but also vulnerable. The scenery throughout the different countries, as well as the action scenes are packed with descriptions that helped me experience and "see" their adventure. The feelings that the storylines evoked were deep. Crazy hat man made my skin crawl, Antonio and Paulie made me laugh and Kalahari and Ilan were sweet and I hope we get to see them again.
Spotless was an original and Camilla Monk has MAD skills. I can't wait to start Beating Ruby (Spotless 2) soon.
To buy Spotless from Amazon - http://amzn.to/1MQ72Mr
I’m an Aussie chick who loves to read and review romance, drink coffee, be a Style Setter and stalk David Gandy. To see more of my reviews, fashion, food and pervathons -
The narrator does a marvelous job giving the hilariously quirky Island a voice. Each chapter opening gives us a great example of the narrators talent. It wasn't unusual for me to laugh out loud because I just couldn't help myself. This led to some very embarrassing moments on my train trips to work.
I loved reading Spotless myself and listening to the audio, I loved it more.
********
I couldn't pick my favourite part of Spotless it was all good
I really, really enjoyed Spotless. This book had so many parts to it that I couldn't pinpoint exactly which part was my favourite. The beginning was hilarious, the middle was creepy bordering on psycho chicken, Hannibal grossness and the ending was action packed, guns blazing fast. Island, yes that's her name, is a quirky and nerdy virgin, who's looking for a love similar to her romance books. One day she returns home early from work to find a strange man in her apartment. At first she thinks he's there for her roommate Joy, but soon learns that March, his codename, is there for her. And while he's there...he might as well do a spot of cleaning. March is a hitman with a slight (MAJOR) OCD problem. In his case OCD stands for Obsessive Cleaning Disorder.
After a slight tussle, a major migraine and a cleaning frenzy, March kidnaps Island. He needs her to help recover something that was misplaced when Island's mother died fifteen years earlier. The kidnapping turns into a mad dash across the world, avoiding people trying to kill them, but also meeting some very interesting people too. Being stuck with March for days, and learning more about him, gives Island a case of Stockholm Syndrome. She's attracted to him and he shows a degree of interest in her too, but he pushes her away to get the job done.
I hated seeing Island hurt by not having her feelings returned, but I could also see that this wasn't the right time for Island and March. There are a couple of passionate kisses, but I'm hoping the next installment takes things further.
Island learns that her mother isn't who she thought she was. She looks back at her time with her mum and realises she'd missed obvious signs of a cover up. People have been, and still are keeping a lot of secrets. I'm not sure Island will ever get to the bottom of them all.
Honestly, this was one of the funniest and craziest books I've read in a long time. The characters are funny, but also vulnerable. The scenery throughout the different countries, as well as the action scenes are packed with descriptions that helped me experience and "see" their adventure. The feelings that the storylines evoked were deep. Crazy hat man made my skin crawl, Antonio and Paulie made me laugh and Kalahari and Ilan were sweet and I hope we get to see them again.
Spotless was an original and Camilla Monk has MAD skills. I can't wait to start Beating Ruby (Spotless 2) soon.
To buy Spotless from Amazon - http://amzn.to/1MQ72Mr
I’m an Aussie chick who loves to read and review romance, drink coffee, be a Style Setter and stalk David Gandy. To see more of my reviews, fashion, food and pervathons -
Read
May 23, 2018I can't. DNF at 8%.
I'm sorry everyone who loved it, but I'm upset at how thevictim heroine is being treated by the guy who will be her love interest. I am reading, and she is just trapped and victimized every single second and it's driving me batty.
Maybe I'm just not in the right mood for this right now. I'll try it again another time.
I'm sorry everyone who loved it, but I'm upset at how the
Maybe I'm just not in the right mood for this right now. I'll try it again another time.
September 2, 2019
(Goodreads deleted this review a long time ago, but look what I found on my hard drive tonight!)
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Writing this review was a difficult decision to make : I consulted friends, family, my dermatologist, the cat that sometimes sneak into my living room (which belongs to the 4th floor neighbor. Husband say we should complain because he’s allergic and recently woke up from a nap with said cat sitting on his face).
I’ve come to feel it was a necessity I voiced my opinion, though, because, after several dozens of reads, this book has changed my life so profoundly that I need to share it with the world. I quit my job because of this book, I spent time, money, I lived in my PJs, I started hallucinating, got angry and sent lengthy and threatening emails to random people on the internet, containing claims that I knew where they lived and would do the work of God and get the world rid of Nigerian scammers and freemasons. Also, I’m harassed daily by mom because she wants to know how much the book is selling. The answer is: as much as a book glorifying gratuitous violence, virginity and ostriches should.
So here comes a thorough review of what SPOTLESS is, and what it does. Since I’m the best qualified to understand the depth and quality of the work, and I’m well aware of the incommensurable genius oozing from every word of this manuscript, I’m starting with the postulate that the book is worth 5 stars as long as it hasn’t been fully reviewed.
I’m planning on copyrighting this system: it will be called “The Schroedinger Reviewing Procedure”. You’ll have to pay me money if you want to do the same. Contact Montlake Publishing to ask for details.
1°) What SPOTLESS is:
It’s a book. It’s made of paper, the cover is primarily pink, and according to Amazon its dimensions are: 5.5 x 1 x 8.2 inches. THAT IS NOT TRUE. ONE OF THE MANY LIES AMAZON TELLS ITS CUSTOMERS TO LURE THEM INTO A SENSE OF FALE SECURITY. I took a ruler, SPOTLESS is 0.84 inch thick. NOT 1 INCH. LIES. LIES AND DECEIT.
For this, I’m removing one star. That makes the book now worth 4 stars.
2°) SPOTLESS’s written content
I’ll spare you the tedious details of the book’s synopsis, as you already have a blurb above, and if you possess a Kindle Unlimited subscription you can even pretend you’re getting the book for free and actually read it to verify its content.
I’m aware, however, that the blurb doesn’t answer the only question that matters: “How much sex? In what position(s)?”, but that’s the beauty and the mystery of blurbs.
I’ll give you hints by saying that the heroine is roped and handcuffed on a bed, handcuffed to a chair, but also savagely ravished in a luxury hotel with sexy lingerie. You will learn whether the hero is circumcised or not; will know every detail about his chest hair; there’s a reference to octopus sex, penile amputation, sexual abuse, a partial castration scene, and there’s also a peeing scene.
I dare say we’re looking at the next 50 SHADES OF GREY, here, and you’re probably wasting your time reading any other dark romance book: it will never be as frighteningly hard, panties-melting hot and controversial as SPOTLESS.
The ending, however, really sucks, and this ultimate, corny attempt from the author at redeeming March, the hero, when he could honestly bang the brains out of Island, is the lamest stuff I have ever read. I’m sure it’s done on purpose so people will buy the next book in the quadrilogy, BEATING RUBY.
For this, I’m removing one star. That makes the book now worth 3 stars.
3°) SPOTLESS’s intrinsic qualities as written piece of work
This is perhaps the easiest part of this review: from its chiseled, elegant writing, to its realistic and deeply emotional situations, SPOTLESS is, of course an eternal, multidimensional, universal—intergalactic, in fact, according to my royalties statement—chef d’oeuvre.
Every line speaks of the author’s deep commitment to write a piece that will make you think, feel and will change your life altogether.
Written in first person, narrated by Island (the heroine), the book takes us on a journey into the depths of a brilliant, sensual, tortured mind (“it probably qualified as the second-worst attempt at seduction ever in the animal kingdom—the worst one being, in my opinion, the way some octopuses tear their own penis off and throw it in their girlfriend’s general direction”).
The dialogue is incisive, often spot on (“Ain’t serving no Jews here!”), and it’s difficult to pinpoint a favorite scene of mine, when the author’s genius reaches such heights that you could use it to climb up and go fix Mars Rover Curiosity’s broken arm. Now that I’m typing it, I thinking I should write NASA about this: SPOTLESS could actually save science and mankind’s future altogether.
NASA wrote back to say my idea is stupid and I need to stop writing them every time I have an idea, like that time I said astronauts should take bubble wrapper with them so they have an emergency oxygen supply in space. For this, I’m removing one star. That makes the book now worth 2 stars.
4°) Healing and otherwise miraculous properties of the SPOTLESS paperback
I happen to possess several copies of the book’s paperback, and can testify that I witnessed the following effects in correlation with the use of SPOTLESS:
- Healing wounds, sores, necrotic flesh and amputated limbs: apply the paperback to the wounded area repeatedly with a gentle rubbing motion for full healing effect. Works well on sunburns too.
- Making plants thrive: burn the paperback and scatter its ashes at the feet of trees, flowers or any sort of vegetal lifeform on a daily basis, at dawn. Average production should be multiplied by 10.7% (beat that, Jesus!). Except for oranges. SPOTLESS doesn’t work for orange trees.
- Love, protection, money, marriage and fertility talisman: pierce a hole in the paperback, through which you’ll slip a simple twine. Tie the twine around your neck, to wear the paperback as a discreet pendant. Now, see your life change as its effects start affecting every aspect of your journey on this earth. I recommend wearing your SPOTLESS paperback chance talisman pendant during dates or job interviews, for example. Chances of getting called back will increase by 257%, and chances of being sexually rampaged afterward by 312%—either on the recruiter’s desk or in the restaurant’s toilets.
As you can see, those are pretty amazing effects, but it doesn’t work for orange trees. For this, I’m removing one star. That makes the book now worth 1 star.
This will complete my comprehensive review of SPOTLESS. I hope you will enjoy this unique piece of work as much as I did, and that, like it did for me, will change your life and make you marry a hot billionaire.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Writing this review was a difficult decision to make : I consulted friends, family, my dermatologist, the cat that sometimes sneak into my living room (which belongs to the 4th floor neighbor. Husband say we should complain because he’s allergic and recently woke up from a nap with said cat sitting on his face).
I’ve come to feel it was a necessity I voiced my opinion, though, because, after several dozens of reads, this book has changed my life so profoundly that I need to share it with the world. I quit my job because of this book, I spent time, money, I lived in my PJs, I started hallucinating, got angry and sent lengthy and threatening emails to random people on the internet, containing claims that I knew where they lived and would do the work of God and get the world rid of Nigerian scammers and freemasons. Also, I’m harassed daily by mom because she wants to know how much the book is selling. The answer is: as much as a book glorifying gratuitous violence, virginity and ostriches should.
So here comes a thorough review of what SPOTLESS is, and what it does. Since I’m the best qualified to understand the depth and quality of the work, and I’m well aware of the incommensurable genius oozing from every word of this manuscript, I’m starting with the postulate that the book is worth 5 stars as long as it hasn’t been fully reviewed.
I’m planning on copyrighting this system: it will be called “The Schroedinger Reviewing Procedure”. You’ll have to pay me money if you want to do the same. Contact Montlake Publishing to ask for details.
1°) What SPOTLESS is:
It’s a book. It’s made of paper, the cover is primarily pink, and according to Amazon its dimensions are: 5.5 x 1 x 8.2 inches. THAT IS NOT TRUE. ONE OF THE MANY LIES AMAZON TELLS ITS CUSTOMERS TO LURE THEM INTO A SENSE OF FALE SECURITY. I took a ruler, SPOTLESS is 0.84 inch thick. NOT 1 INCH. LIES. LIES AND DECEIT.
For this, I’m removing one star. That makes the book now worth 4 stars.
2°) SPOTLESS’s written content
I’ll spare you the tedious details of the book’s synopsis, as you already have a blurb above, and if you possess a Kindle Unlimited subscription you can even pretend you’re getting the book for free and actually read it to verify its content.
I’m aware, however, that the blurb doesn’t answer the only question that matters: “How much sex? In what position(s)?”, but that’s the beauty and the mystery of blurbs.
I’ll give you hints by saying that the heroine is roped and handcuffed on a bed, handcuffed to a chair, but also savagely ravished in a luxury hotel with sexy lingerie. You will learn whether the hero is circumcised or not; will know every detail about his chest hair; there’s a reference to octopus sex, penile amputation, sexual abuse, a partial castration scene, and there’s also a peeing scene.
I dare say we’re looking at the next 50 SHADES OF GREY, here, and you’re probably wasting your time reading any other dark romance book: it will never be as frighteningly hard, panties-melting hot and controversial as SPOTLESS.
The ending, however, really sucks, and this ultimate, corny attempt from the author at redeeming March, the hero, when he could honestly bang the brains out of Island, is the lamest stuff I have ever read. I’m sure it’s done on purpose so people will buy the next book in the quadrilogy, BEATING RUBY.
For this, I’m removing one star. That makes the book now worth 3 stars.
3°) SPOTLESS’s intrinsic qualities as written piece of work
This is perhaps the easiest part of this review: from its chiseled, elegant writing, to its realistic and deeply emotional situations, SPOTLESS is, of course an eternal, multidimensional, universal—intergalactic, in fact, according to my royalties statement—chef d’oeuvre.
Every line speaks of the author’s deep commitment to write a piece that will make you think, feel and will change your life altogether.
Written in first person, narrated by Island (the heroine), the book takes us on a journey into the depths of a brilliant, sensual, tortured mind (“it probably qualified as the second-worst attempt at seduction ever in the animal kingdom—the worst one being, in my opinion, the way some octopuses tear their own penis off and throw it in their girlfriend’s general direction”).
The dialogue is incisive, often spot on (“Ain’t serving no Jews here!”), and it’s difficult to pinpoint a favorite scene of mine, when the author’s genius reaches such heights that you could use it to climb up and go fix Mars Rover Curiosity’s broken arm. Now that I’m typing it, I thinking I should write NASA about this: SPOTLESS could actually save science and mankind’s future altogether.
NASA wrote back to say my idea is stupid and I need to stop writing them every time I have an idea, like that time I said astronauts should take bubble wrapper with them so they have an emergency oxygen supply in space. For this, I’m removing one star. That makes the book now worth 2 stars.
4°) Healing and otherwise miraculous properties of the SPOTLESS paperback
I happen to possess several copies of the book’s paperback, and can testify that I witnessed the following effects in correlation with the use of SPOTLESS:
- Healing wounds, sores, necrotic flesh and amputated limbs: apply the paperback to the wounded area repeatedly with a gentle rubbing motion for full healing effect. Works well on sunburns too.
- Making plants thrive: burn the paperback and scatter its ashes at the feet of trees, flowers or any sort of vegetal lifeform on a daily basis, at dawn. Average production should be multiplied by 10.7% (beat that, Jesus!). Except for oranges. SPOTLESS doesn’t work for orange trees.
- Love, protection, money, marriage and fertility talisman: pierce a hole in the paperback, through which you’ll slip a simple twine. Tie the twine around your neck, to wear the paperback as a discreet pendant. Now, see your life change as its effects start affecting every aspect of your journey on this earth. I recommend wearing your SPOTLESS paperback chance talisman pendant during dates or job interviews, for example. Chances of getting called back will increase by 257%, and chances of being sexually rampaged afterward by 312%—either on the recruiter’s desk or in the restaurant’s toilets.
As you can see, those are pretty amazing effects, but it doesn’t work for orange trees. For this, I’m removing one star. That makes the book now worth 1 star.
This will complete my comprehensive review of SPOTLESS. I hope you will enjoy this unique piece of work as much as I did, and that, like it did for me, will change your life and make you marry a hot billionaire.
April 13, 2021
Spotless was WILD from start to finish. I was not expecting it to be such a fast-paced mishmash of craziness. Personally, I felt like Spotless had a lot of potential but at the end of the day, it didn’t live up to what it was promising. The writing itself was great but it was light-hearted in places where it shouldn’t have been and shallow in places that needed more depth. The tone of the story didn’t feel consistent, and often times left me feeling confused.
Plot wise, the story was a bit too easy to follow which detracted from the mystery. However, the action sequences and all the travelling made the story a lot more flashier and exciting. I really enjoyed the scenes that took place in France and Japan. It seemed like the author really did her research there.
Island (25) was a relatively fun heroine to follow. Her die-hard romantic nature made her relatable and kind of amusing. However, her obsession (yes – I mean, obsession) with losing her virginity got old and repetitive pretty fast. And her reactions to being kidnapped were rather inauthentic and I just wish she had been more reactive. There were times where she should’ve been angry, but she wasn’t.
I felt very indifferent towards the anti-hero, March (32). He’s your typical hitman – cold and aloof... well, except for the fact that he has OCD. Although I found his moments of quirkiness amusing and endearing (his thing for ostriches and his ‘roommate’ for example), the attempts at making him three dimensional fell rather flat. I'm hoping that we'll get to peel through his layers in the next book.
THESE TWO THOUGH – I still don’t know if I want them to be together. They’re cute… but kinda toxic… but also kinda cute... You get my dilemma? I liked their witty banter and the moments where March lowered his guard to let Island in. The chemistry and sparks were definitely there but Island’s infatuation with March made her let him get away with way too many things. For a love interest, I definitely felt like March crossed a few too many lines. I mean, he might as well have been the villain at some points (and not the sexy kind). Honestly, how was Island able to be simultaneously so self-aware and completely clueless? I don’t know. Either way, the romance was not the focal point of this book, so don't go in expecting otherwise.
But my biggest grievance was the use of the r-word (I counted two times) and the way March’s OCD was talked about. Initially I was intrigued by the fact that March had OCD, but it was a rather shallow and caricatured depiction. There were a few time where it seemed to only exist at the butt of some else’s joke. And it bothered me quite a bit. Secondly, some darker moments in the book were dismissed way too quickly. Even if the author was trying to go for light-heartedness, or even dark comedy, it just didn’t work. Another minor thing was the humor, there were some moments that made me laugh out loud but other times… I just didn’t get it (but that’s my fault).
Overall, Spotless was a fun read and it was unlike any other book I’ve ever read before, so it gets bonus points for originality. Although the tone of the story felt way very inconsistent, I think this series has a lot of potential... If you’ve got an itch for an action-packed romantic suspense with some serious WTF moments, Spotless might be worth looking into.
Rating: 3/5
Plot wise, the story was a bit too easy to follow which detracted from the mystery. However, the action sequences and all the travelling made the story a lot more flashier and exciting. I really enjoyed the scenes that took place in France and Japan. It seemed like the author really did her research there.
Island (25) was a relatively fun heroine to follow. Her die-hard romantic nature made her relatable and kind of amusing. However, her obsession (yes – I mean, obsession) with losing her virginity got old and repetitive pretty fast. And her reactions to being kidnapped were rather inauthentic and I just wish she had been more reactive. There were times where she should’ve been angry, but she wasn’t.
I felt very indifferent towards the anti-hero, March (32). He’s your typical hitman – cold and aloof... well, except for the fact that he has OCD. Although I found his moments of quirkiness amusing and endearing (his thing for ostriches and his ‘roommate’ for example), the attempts at making him three dimensional fell rather flat. I'm hoping that we'll get to peel through his layers in the next book.
THESE TWO THOUGH – I still don’t know if I want them to be together. They’re cute… but kinda toxic… but also kinda cute... You get my dilemma? I liked their witty banter and the moments where March lowered his guard to let Island in. The chemistry and sparks were definitely there but Island’s infatuation with March made her let him get away with way too many things. For a love interest, I definitely felt like March crossed a few too many lines. I mean, he might as well have been the villain at some points (and not the sexy kind). Honestly, how was Island able to be simultaneously so self-aware and completely clueless? I don’t know. Either way, the romance was not the focal point of this book, so don't go in expecting otherwise.
But my biggest grievance was the use of the r-word (I counted two times) and the way March’s OCD was talked about. Initially I was intrigued by the fact that March had OCD, but it was a rather shallow and caricatured depiction. There were a few time where it seemed to only exist at the butt of some else’s joke. And it bothered me quite a bit. Secondly, some darker moments in the book were dismissed way too quickly. Even if the author was trying to go for light-heartedness, or even dark comedy, it just didn’t work. Another minor thing was the humor, there were some moments that made me laugh out loud but other times… I just didn’t get it (but that’s my fault).
Overall, Spotless was a fun read and it was unlike any other book I’ve ever read before, so it gets bonus points for originality. Although the tone of the story felt way very inconsistent, I think this series has a lot of potential... If you’ve got an itch for an action-packed romantic suspense with some serious WTF moments, Spotless might be worth looking into.
Rating: 3/5
September 7, 2016
3.5~ 4 STARS
This author displayed a unique witty writing style as she tells this tale of our heroine Island Chaptal being kidnapped to help find a two billion dollar diamond that her mother hide before her death. The hero/the kidnapper is a very interesting character not only is he a killer but he has OCD and a bit of a thing for our Island. The two travel all over being chased while Island discovers things about her family that she hadn’t known before.
Hands down my favorite part of this story was the kidnapping scene with her roommate’s reaction thinking it’s some sort of BDSM scene.
The quest to the diamond was dangerous but the author’s humor lightens the story and the idea of a love connection between March and Island. The story ends kind of open with the next book already released and a third on its way!
This author displayed a unique witty writing style as she tells this tale of our heroine Island Chaptal being kidnapped to help find a two billion dollar diamond that her mother hide before her death. The hero/the kidnapper is a very interesting character not only is he a killer but he has OCD and a bit of a thing for our Island. The two travel all over being chased while Island discovers things about her family that she hadn’t known before.
Hands down my favorite part of this story was the kidnapping scene with her roommate’s reaction thinking it’s some sort of BDSM scene.
The quest to the diamond was dangerous but the author’s humor lightens the story and the idea of a love connection between March and Island. The story ends kind of open with the next book already released and a third on its way!
May 30, 2017
Freebie Alert!
Amazing deal on Amazon right now (as of 5/30/17) books 1-3 FREE!
I have read the first and second, super fun series.
Download these, y'all!
Amazon Get Yourself Some Link
4.3ish stars (I won't fit into your box Goodreads!)
I received this book for free in exchange for an honest review. This does not affect my opinion of the book or the content of my review.
When Island opened the door to her apartment and found a man standing there with his back to her going through her filed taxes, she had no idea how her mundane normal world was about to be shook up. Questioning her about a 2 billion dollar diamond March, the tax papers organizer, doesn't like the answers he is getting and decides to kidnap her. On the run with a hitman, who is slowly starting to look like her safest port in the storm, Island begins to learn that her seemingly previous boring life may have just all been a lie.
Spotless is the first in a series by newcomer Camilla Monk and is a fabulous debut; the writing is topnotch. The story was suspenseful, intriguing, humorous, and most importantly interesting. It is completely told from our heroine Island's point of view, I did miss hero March's take on things but nevertheless, Island was a good leader. The story takes us from New York, Paris, and to Tokyo with enough details to fill in the scenery, place you mentally there, and make it believable. The pace is steady as we learn along with Island that her mother may have been even more of an adventuress than she knew and travel along with her and March as both try and fight their attraction for one another. There was some good tension and humorous thoughts and moments while Island and March struggled to maintain their distance as it would have been equally dangerous for either one to succumb.
Island was a fun character to follow with her realness and slightly quirky thoughts. She was an interesting blend of sheltered naïve worldliness; in her childhood she traveled the world with her mother but never attended schools, at fifteen when she goes to live with her father she lacks the knowledge of how to interact at her new school and becomes a bit of a social outcast. March had his own quirkiness with his OCD, which lent to some playful moments but also respectfully showcased the compulsive aspect. As I mentioned, we never get March's pov which had him coming off a little stiff (not in the good way) to me as the reader, I get he is supposed to come off that way to Island but I would have really enjoyed seeing/reading his emotion towards our heroine at times. Their relationship was slightly slow moving as I could have stood to see more closeness from them. My issue with this could stem from the fact that this is a pretty clean romance, no pervy payoffs here. Fundamentally though, the humor and danger between them may go a bit off kilter on occasion but ultimately they work and this was what I liked so much about them.
There were also a handful of secondary characters that brilliantly did their job in adding compelling pieces to the story without clogging or stealing the spotlight from our leads. It was about 20% in when I thought this book really hit its stride and it was around the 60-80% mark that I thought things started to slow down. Our couple starts to go in a circle and the action side of the plot starts to get a tad long but I also don't know what should have been cut because the steps to finding the diamond were all needed, maybe Island's mother shouldn't have been so clever.
While I won't quite call it a cliffhanger, the ending of this book is clearly not the ending of Island and March's story, so be prepared to lock yourself into continuing with the series. As this is a new author and wondering about comparisons, I would say you could fit this book comfortably between “Agnes and the Hitman" by Jennifer Crusie and "Cloak and Dagger" by Nenia Campbell. If you're in the mood for a jocular bit off center suspense with a dash of romance involving shady world organizations, the shady men and women who work for them, a broody caring OCD hitman, and a plucky heroine lost in the mix and falling love, then you must give this book a try. There is also the delightful bonus of each chapter starting with a quote from a fake romance book that lightheartedly pokes fun at what makes us love so much and groan over in the romance genre.
Amazing deal on Amazon right now (as of 5/30/17) books 1-3 FREE!
I have read the first and second, super fun series.
Download these, y'all!
Amazon Get Yourself Some Link
4.3ish stars (I won't fit into your box Goodreads!)
I received this book for free in exchange for an honest review. This does not affect my opinion of the book or the content of my review.
When Island opened the door to her apartment and found a man standing there with his back to her going through her filed taxes, she had no idea how her mundane normal world was about to be shook up. Questioning her about a 2 billion dollar diamond March, the tax papers organizer, doesn't like the answers he is getting and decides to kidnap her. On the run with a hitman, who is slowly starting to look like her safest port in the storm, Island begins to learn that her seemingly previous boring life may have just all been a lie.
Spotless is the first in a series by newcomer Camilla Monk and is a fabulous debut; the writing is topnotch. The story was suspenseful, intriguing, humorous, and most importantly interesting. It is completely told from our heroine Island's point of view, I did miss hero March's take on things but nevertheless, Island was a good leader. The story takes us from New York, Paris, and to Tokyo with enough details to fill in the scenery, place you mentally there, and make it believable. The pace is steady as we learn along with Island that her mother may have been even more of an adventuress than she knew and travel along with her and March as both try and fight their attraction for one another. There was some good tension and humorous thoughts and moments while Island and March struggled to maintain their distance as it would have been equally dangerous for either one to succumb.
Island was a fun character to follow with her realness and slightly quirky thoughts. She was an interesting blend of sheltered naïve worldliness; in her childhood she traveled the world with her mother but never attended schools, at fifteen when she goes to live with her father she lacks the knowledge of how to interact at her new school and becomes a bit of a social outcast. March had his own quirkiness with his OCD, which lent to some playful moments but also respectfully showcased the compulsive aspect. As I mentioned, we never get March's pov which had him coming off a little stiff (not in the good way) to me as the reader, I get he is supposed to come off that way to Island but I would have really enjoyed seeing/reading his emotion towards our heroine at times. Their relationship was slightly slow moving as I could have stood to see more closeness from them. My issue with this could stem from the fact that this is a pretty clean romance, no pervy payoffs here. Fundamentally though, the humor and danger between them may go a bit off kilter on occasion but ultimately they work and this was what I liked so much about them.
There were also a handful of secondary characters that brilliantly did their job in adding compelling pieces to the story without clogging or stealing the spotlight from our leads. It was about 20% in when I thought this book really hit its stride and it was around the 60-80% mark that I thought things started to slow down. Our couple starts to go in a circle and the action side of the plot starts to get a tad long but I also don't know what should have been cut because the steps to finding the diamond were all needed, maybe Island's mother shouldn't have been so clever.
While I won't quite call it a cliffhanger, the ending of this book is clearly not the ending of Island and March's story, so be prepared to lock yourself into continuing with the series. As this is a new author and wondering about comparisons, I would say you could fit this book comfortably between “Agnes and the Hitman" by Jennifer Crusie and "Cloak and Dagger" by Nenia Campbell. If you're in the mood for a jocular bit off center suspense with a dash of romance involving shady world organizations, the shady men and women who work for them, a broody caring OCD hitman, and a plucky heroine lost in the mix and falling love, then you must give this book a try. There is also the delightful bonus of each chapter starting with a quote from a fake romance book that lightheartedly pokes fun at what makes us love so much and groan over in the romance genre.
May 14, 2020
Ok, so this was me reading this book!
Upon beginning to realise it might be getting too late for the HEA to come so close to the end!
And finishing it and the book indeed having a cliffhanger!!
ANNNDDD - this book had no sex, zero, nada, no bumping uglies, no doing the pants dance, no making the beast with two backs! But you get the picture.
However, I LOVED this book, the heroine was awesome, my favourite heroine EVER, and March was great, if a bit odd, and a hitman, and weirdly adorable at times! I made so many notes for my favourite bits in this book. It goes on my better than 5 stars shelf, which given I hate cliffhangers, says a LOT. And I got it on KU, but will be buying my own copy.
It was just plain fun and I could not put it down. But apparently I have to wait till early 2016 for book 2!
Upon beginning to realise it might be getting too late for the HEA to come so close to the end!
And finishing it and the book indeed having a cliffhanger!!
ANNNDDD - this book had no sex, zero, nada, no bumping uglies, no doing the pants dance, no making the beast with two backs! But you get the picture.
However, I LOVED this book, the heroine was awesome, my favourite heroine EVER, and March was great, if a bit odd, and a hitman, and weirdly adorable at times! I made so many notes for my favourite bits in this book. It goes on my better than 5 stars shelf, which given I hate cliffhangers, says a LOT. And I got it on KU, but will be buying my own copy.
It was just plain fun and I could not put it down. But apparently I have to wait till early 2016 for book 2!
December 5, 2016
Oh wow... wow. I have never been as entertained by book characters as I was with March and Island. Even as this review is being written, spontaneous bursts of laughter alternated with goofy smiles seem completely apropos.
OMG. Sorrynotsorry, but words are inadequate to convey how thoroughly I enjoyed EVERYTHING about Spotless
It had guns -and Bazookas-; brilliantly written action scenes; crack-your-ribs cast of main and supporting characters; intelligent and adorable female protag, and a male protag who is a hitman with OCD; plane hopping to France and Japan; mix these with some sinister but weirdly adorable villains, and you have a mix of genres done so impeccably you'd be forgiven for thinking this was Monk's 10th novel. Aaaannnd.... even the lack of S-E-X (we all know great smex scenes are an obsession of mine), did not detract from this stellar 5-star read.
Loved it!
May 17, 2020
17/5/2020
Book 1-4 and novella 4.5, £0.99 on Amazon right now!!!
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B06...
https://smile.amazon.co.uk/Spotless-B...
16/3/2020
FREE on Amazon for this week!!!
The first book is currently FREE and the rest are 0.99p each!!
https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B...
14/5/18
Drop whatever you are doing and go get this! The whole Spotless series, books 1-4 , is currently FREE on Amazon from May 12 to May 16, 2018!!
https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B...
An action adventure like no other awaits, DO NOT pass it by!
Book 1-4 and novella 4.5, £0.99 on Amazon right now!!!
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B06...
https://smile.amazon.co.uk/Spotless-B...
16/3/2020
FREE on Amazon for this week!!!
The first book is currently FREE and the rest are 0.99p each!!
https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B...
14/5/18
Drop whatever you are doing and go get this! The whole Spotless series, books 1-4 , is currently FREE on Amazon from May 12 to May 16, 2018!!
https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B...
An action adventure like no other awaits, DO NOT pass it by!
November 10, 2023
sighs dreamily while staring longingly into the distance: when will it be my turn to be kidnapped by a hot hitman who is secretly sweet and kind and who would kill for me because he cares about me a little bit too much
January 4, 2022
5 stars
This was just so much fun!
I didn't know what to expect but I had such a great time reading/listening to this story and, now, all I want to do is keep going and find out more about these characters and what's to come.
Ms. Monk has a wild sense of humor, the storyline was engaging, I got such a kick out of Island (the heroine) and March (the hero... um... what I mean to say is... uh... well, you'll see. And yes, you're quite welcome for that articulate and informative bit of info) and their rather interesting (and often hilarious) dynamics, plus I enjoyed the action, adventure, and many discoveries along the way...
Kudos to Ms. Monk for cracking me up while keeping me both intrigued and entertained, and to Amy McFadden who did a wonderful job narrating this tale.
Can't wait to read
and find out what happens next...A few extra tidbits/potential spoilers for those who wish to know more about the 'romance' part of the deal:
March 10, 2016
Review written January 25, 2016
4 Stars - Hilarious fun fast paced suspense adventure
A couple of days ago I dowloaded this Spotless audiobook on pure impulse. Written by Camilla Monk, new for me. I read some pretty good and happy readers-reviews and yet another time, took a chance. I expected it is to be a lighthearted funny suspense with an added sweet romance touch. — And I was right, this was for sure a lighthearted chuckle "read". I liked and it will be more.
~ 11 hours well narrated by Amy McFadden ~
*********************************************
It all starts in New York in Island Chaptal's apartment. Island is a quite nerdy IT engineer, still waiting for "Mr. Right" (unfortunately and embarrassing also still a 25 year old virgin) who spends her lonely evenings with sugary smexy romance novels. Then one evening... « A gentleman professional killer with a bad case of OCD and zero tolerance for unsorted laundry, March isn’t there to kill her…yet. »
A hilarious fast paced suspense adventure starts. Island is pretty soon both March victim and companion (..and secretly drooling admirer - he has a nice hard smooth looking body). — There are a lot if nasty villains, gunfire and after some tricky situations also a trip overseas. The whirlwind has just begun to spin fast, fast and even faster...
Oh yes, this was wonderful fun action comedy with an outrageously cute (screwed) heroine and a pedantic, but always polite and tough, hero. Not a quiet moment and Spotless is filled with non stop adventure and hilarious situations. — Really good entertainment and a perfect good audiobook narrator in Amy McFadden.
A big added plus to these amusing introductions to each chapter with fictional excerpts from ridiculously sugary silly smexy romances. I giggled every time...
I'm curious about the next series part, Beating Ruby (soon to be published). — Will our dear heroine Island get what she want so badly ? I cross my fingers.
*********************************************
I LIKE - fun new book journeys in different genres
4 Stars - Hilarious fun fast paced suspense adventure
A couple of days ago I dowloaded this Spotless audiobook on pure impulse. Written by Camilla Monk, new for me. I read some pretty good and happy readers-reviews and yet another time, took a chance. I expected it is to be a lighthearted funny suspense with an added sweet romance touch. — And I was right, this was for sure a lighthearted chuckle "read". I liked and it will be more.
~ 11 hours well narrated by Amy McFadden ~
*********************************************
It all starts in New York in Island Chaptal's apartment. Island is a quite nerdy IT engineer, still waiting for "Mr. Right" (unfortunately and embarrassing also still a 25 year old virgin) who spends her lonely evenings with sugary smexy romance novels. Then one evening... « A gentleman professional killer with a bad case of OCD and zero tolerance for unsorted laundry, March isn’t there to kill her…yet. »
A hilarious fast paced suspense adventure starts. Island is pretty soon both March victim and companion (..and secretly drooling admirer - he has a nice hard smooth looking body). — There are a lot if nasty villains, gunfire and after some tricky situations also a trip overseas. The whirlwind has just begun to spin fast, fast and even faster...
‘I had sometimes met guys who looked like they worked out a lot; however, overly conservative social boundaries had restrained me from tearing their shirts open in public to check the goods.’
‘Okay, I’m lying. I couldn’t focus on the bandages. (...) I knew it was wrong, but I pictured myself burying my face in his chest to rub my cheeks against that damn hair and inhale his scent, kinda like cocaine addicts do when they’re at the end of the road and they just slam their face into the entire bag.’
Oh yes, this was wonderful fun action comedy with an outrageously cute (screwed) heroine and a pedantic, but always polite and tough, hero. Not a quiet moment and Spotless is filled with non stop adventure and hilarious situations. — Really good entertainment and a perfect good audiobook narrator in Amy McFadden.
A big added plus to these amusing introductions to each chapter with fictional excerpts from ridiculously sugary silly smexy romances. I giggled every time...
I'm curious about the next series part, Beating Ruby (soon to be published). — Will our dear heroine Island get what she want so badly ? I cross my fingers.
*********************************************
I LIKE - fun new book journeys in different genres
June 5, 2017
4.5 Stars
What do you get when you take an awkward IT engineer teaming up with a paid killer with OCD? This hysterical novel!
Spotless revolves around Island who is sort of kidnapped by a paid killer named March to help him find a rare diamond Island's mother supposedly stole before passing away. Island is socially inept, a total weirdo, and has the most insane thoughts like this one:
“Chinga tu madre!” My accomplice clearly had unresolved issues with March, because he was encouraging him to satisfy his own mother. (Just so you know, I practice Spanish watching Dora the Explorer and playing GTA, so I know how to say backpack, whore, and weed. I hope you’re impressed.)
and my favorite:
I knew it was wrong, but I pictured myself burying my face in his chest to rub my cheeks against that damn hair and inhale his scent, kinda like cocaine addicts do when they’re at the end of the road and they just slam their face into the entire bag.
Seriously, this girl had me cracking up the entire book. But what I loved was how she was never once annoying, and always endearing. Which I think is rare. Heroines who are quirky tend to be over the top and become exasperating after a while. And given this book is told primarily in her POV, I was so pleasantly surprised I enjoyed every minute of it.
March is another great character. Despite being the hardcore killer he is paid to be, he's complicated and has a little bit of a soft side for our girl Island.
"...and you should stop comparing yourself to other women.”
“Why?”
“Because you don’t need to. You’re in a league of your own.”
This book had everything. Action, twists and turns, humor, touching and sad moments, all mixed in amongst a slow burning romance. I was actually surprised at how touching some moments in this were and how perfectly paced the romance was.
I'm a little sad more book friends haven't read this series! It's original, quirky, smart, funny, and so sweet. Highly recommended if you're looking for a different and fun read!
Spotless is available now! | http://amzn.to/2rTCEmd
Find Me On:
Instagram ❤ FB Page ❤ FB Blog ❤ Blog ❤ Twitter
What do you get when you take an awkward IT engineer teaming up with a paid killer with OCD? This hysterical novel!
Spotless revolves around Island who is sort of kidnapped by a paid killer named March to help him find a rare diamond Island's mother supposedly stole before passing away. Island is socially inept, a total weirdo, and has the most insane thoughts like this one:
“Chinga tu madre!” My accomplice clearly had unresolved issues with March, because he was encouraging him to satisfy his own mother. (Just so you know, I practice Spanish watching Dora the Explorer and playing GTA, so I know how to say backpack, whore, and weed. I hope you’re impressed.)
and my favorite:
I knew it was wrong, but I pictured myself burying my face in his chest to rub my cheeks against that damn hair and inhale his scent, kinda like cocaine addicts do when they’re at the end of the road and they just slam their face into the entire bag.
Seriously, this girl had me cracking up the entire book. But what I loved was how she was never once annoying, and always endearing. Which I think is rare. Heroines who are quirky tend to be over the top and become exasperating after a while. And given this book is told primarily in her POV, I was so pleasantly surprised I enjoyed every minute of it.
March is another great character. Despite being the hardcore killer he is paid to be, he's complicated and has a little bit of a soft side for our girl Island.
"...and you should stop comparing yourself to other women.”
“Why?”
“Because you don’t need to. You’re in a league of your own.”
This book had everything. Action, twists and turns, humor, touching and sad moments, all mixed in amongst a slow burning romance. I was actually surprised at how touching some moments in this were and how perfectly paced the romance was.
I'm a little sad more book friends haven't read this series! It's original, quirky, smart, funny, and so sweet. Highly recommended if you're looking for a different and fun read!
Spotless is available now! | http://amzn.to/2rTCEmd
Find Me On:
Instagram ❤ FB Page ❤ FB Blog ❤ Blog ❤ Twitter
February 15, 2016
I just couldn't warm to this book. The tone was scattered and I couldn't get attached to either main character. And while the plot held together very well, and the pacing was tight and flowed nicely, I had the same problem with the main bad guy (once we meet him) that I did with the protagonists.
Okay, tone first because I think it's actually the central problem. This book couldn't seem to decide if it was farce or serious suspense drama. I could have bought either one, really, but I kind of wanted the book to choose. I didn't like going from wisecracking to credible rape/mutilation scenes and back to nonchalant snarking so fast. It gave me whiplash. There are some very serious events that seemed like they should have carried emotional repercussions but just didn't. Nobody is that well-adjusted and it made Island and March seem like authorial puppets rather than actual characters to care about.
This plays out mainly in Island and March's interactions. March pulls some truly egregious stunts and Island passes them off way, way too quickly for me to believe she has any attachment to the man. A couple trivial (so non-spoilery) examples: At one point, Island hasn't eaten for 24 hours and it's largely March's fault. Yet he refuses to get her anything to eat because crumbs in his car. They aren't in that big a hurry but no, he can't be bothered to see to even minimal comfort. And Island doesn't push at all, it's just haha funny, isn't he quirky. She isn't otherwise that big a wuss, so I kind of expected her to start rearranging his carefully ordered stuff until he had to choose a minor delay and future car detailing or have his life disordered indefinitely.
Second is more serious because it comes after they've had time to supposedly establish some foundation for trust. Island crosses him by withholding information because he's said he'll go off on his own to pursue it, leaving her behind (this kind of byplay happens throughout so not really a spoiler). You expect them to clash over this. What I didn't expect was him trussing her up and stuffing her into the trunk as punishment for her recalcitrance. She gripes and all, but it has zero impact on their burgeoning feels. Seriously? Girl, at that point, the partnership is over. You don't stuff someone you consider a partner into the trunk of a car for a couple hours and expect any kind of forgiveness for the foreseeable future. Worse, events prove Island correct and it's a good thing he didn't prevail or the entire thing would have been a waste, and yet no apology or back track from March, ever.
And that's before you get to the end where March . So I'm sorry, but the very thought of signing up for book two makes he shudder.
Oh, and the antagonist? .
So yeah, tone. Pick one: serious death/mutilation/rape threats by people in place to carry them out or snarky banter with building emotional connections and touching coming-together-in-adversity undertones. You don't get both in the same story. It just doesn't work.
So two stars? Well, I did finish and as I said, the pace was excellent and the plot interesting. I kept waiting for the characters to decide whether they were going to be people or puppets, but the plot kept me involved to the end.
Okay, tone first because I think it's actually the central problem. This book couldn't seem to decide if it was farce or serious suspense drama. I could have bought either one, really, but I kind of wanted the book to choose. I didn't like going from wisecracking to credible rape/mutilation scenes and back to nonchalant snarking so fast. It gave me whiplash. There are some very serious events that seemed like they should have carried emotional repercussions but just didn't. Nobody is that well-adjusted and it made Island and March seem like authorial puppets rather than actual characters to care about.
This plays out mainly in Island and March's interactions. March pulls some truly egregious stunts and Island passes them off way, way too quickly for me to believe she has any attachment to the man. A couple trivial (so non-spoilery) examples: At one point, Island hasn't eaten for 24 hours and it's largely March's fault. Yet he refuses to get her anything to eat because crumbs in his car. They aren't in that big a hurry but no, he can't be bothered to see to even minimal comfort. And Island doesn't push at all, it's just haha funny, isn't he quirky. She isn't otherwise that big a wuss, so I kind of expected her to start rearranging his carefully ordered stuff until he had to choose a minor delay and future car detailing or have his life disordered indefinitely.
Second is more serious because it comes after they've had time to supposedly establish some foundation for trust. Island crosses him by withholding information because he's said he'll go off on his own to pursue it, leaving her behind (this kind of byplay happens throughout so not really a spoiler). You expect them to clash over this. What I didn't expect was him trussing her up and stuffing her into the trunk as punishment for her recalcitrance. She gripes and all, but it has zero impact on their burgeoning feels. Seriously? Girl, at that point, the partnership is over. You don't stuff someone you consider a partner into the trunk of a car for a couple hours and expect any kind of forgiveness for the foreseeable future. Worse, events prove Island correct and it's a good thing he didn't prevail or the entire thing would have been a waste, and yet no apology or back track from March, ever.
And that's before you get to the end where March . So I'm sorry, but the very thought of signing up for book two makes he shudder.
Oh, and the antagonist? .
So yeah, tone. Pick one: serious death/mutilation/rape threats by people in place to carry them out or snarky banter with building emotional connections and touching coming-together-in-adversity undertones. You don't get both in the same story. It just doesn't work.
So two stars? Well, I did finish and as I said, the pace was excellent and the plot interesting. I kept waiting for the characters to decide whether they were going to be people or puppets, but the plot kept me involved to the end.
July 19, 2020
If you can leave your common sense behind before you delve into this book, you are in for a treat.😁
In simple words, if Alias were to be a romantic comedy, this book would be the outcome. Island is a 25 year old girl who is kidnapped by a hitman who goes by the name March. He wants to know about a diamond that was stolen by her dead mother. The fact that her mother was a spy shocks Island and we are off on a journey with them as they uncover secrets while searching for the lost diamond and Island can't help developing feelings for March either. I wouldn't label this book under romance because its only there in the background.
This book is never boring and was quite funny and fast paced. But what I don't get is the mood of the book. You see people getting killed and Island getting kidnapped multiple times. Yet she is able to hold on to her funny self. That was a bit surprising. Nevertheless I liked it a lot. This book is a part of series and I'm definitely going to read the rest!
In simple words, if Alias were to be a romantic comedy, this book would be the outcome. Island is a 25 year old girl who is kidnapped by a hitman who goes by the name March. He wants to know about a diamond that was stolen by her dead mother. The fact that her mother was a spy shocks Island and we are off on a journey with them as they uncover secrets while searching for the lost diamond and Island can't help developing feelings for March either. I wouldn't label this book under romance because its only there in the background.
This book is never boring and was quite funny and fast paced. But what I don't get is the mood of the book. You see people getting killed and Island getting kidnapped multiple times. Yet she is able to hold on to her funny self. That was a bit surprising. Nevertheless I liked it a lot. This book is a part of series and I'm definitely going to read the rest!
February 1, 2016
I loved and hated it at the same time!
Island was sometimes hilarious and sometimes TSTL! I just couldn't decide if she was likable or hateable! One page is loved her and the other I wanted to kill her!
But, as much as I was undecided towrds the eroine, I didn't have any doubt about the hero: March, April, May...: he was VERY, VERY likable and more! LOL
Who wouldn't want a hunk who cleans the house?!!! LMAO!!!!
I was also undecided towards the humor: sometimes I LOLed like crazy and sometimes I scratched my head in confusion. But maybe I cant understand some of the humor because it is very local (there's mentioned some people who probably are famous there, but I haven't never heard of)!
So, all in all a solid 4 stars!
Island was sometimes hilarious and sometimes TSTL! I just couldn't decide if she was likable or hateable! One page is loved her and the other I wanted to kill her!
But, as much as I was undecided towrds the eroine, I didn't have any doubt about the hero: March, April, May...: he was VERY, VERY likable and more! LOL
Who wouldn't want a hunk who cleans the house?!!! LMAO!!!!
I was also undecided towards the humor: sometimes I LOLed like crazy and sometimes I scratched my head in confusion. But maybe I cant understand some of the humor because it is very local (there's mentioned some people who probably are famous there, but I haven't never heard of)!
So, all in all a solid 4 stars!
November 10, 2016
Exciting audiobook with some stellar narrators. Cliffy-esk ending. I can't wait to see where this series takes me!
September 25, 2015
‘March was in love. With Haru’s remote controlled mop.’
This is my first Camilla Monk so I thin we're not yet close enough for me to say that she writes a crazy story. *whisper:But it's true. She do writes crazy story..*
Spotless is a story about Island (a nerdy heroine who has the habit of thinking "scientifically" if stressed and who is also socially awkward) and March (a professional killer who has OCD. No joke.)
The story began when Island came home to her apartment and find March arranging her tax returns. No, March is not there to clean herpigsty apartment. March was there because Island's mother stole a diamond from the bad guys.
Uh oh moment.
Island is definitely cray-cray.She's smart and yet at the same time, she has this endearing naivety in her.And the stuffs that came out of her mouth are hilarious!
“Just so you know, I practice Spanish watching Dora the Explorer and playing GTA, so I know how to say backpack, whore, and weed. I hope you’re impressed.”
“I tried to ignore the quizzical stares of the shoppers passing by. So I had no pants and no shoes, so what? Fuck you, France!"
See?Told ya she's crazy.
March is..complicated.
‘I stared at him, baffled. Who the hell was March? Was he the ruthless professional killer…Or the gentle and slightly lunar guy telling me about his collection of ostrich pictures?’
March is a hitman who is Obsessive Compulsive. Dirty house of the person he's supposed to kill? He'll clean it and most of the time, it was used as a running gag in the story.
"We're done here."
He didn't budge."You didn't switch the bras. Your underwear won't be coordinated."
Sweet Jesus, it was OCD time.
And March has this weird fascination with ostriches.
"I like ostriches. There's a certain depth to their gaze."
The Romance
NO INSTA-LOVE, thank fuck. The romance is sweet and the pacing for it is just perfect. No unnecessary idiots are included.
Spotless is a fun quirky read that can make you laugh and fall in love a little page by page.
Highly recommended if you're looking for a fluffy read.
This is my first Camilla Monk so I thin we're not yet close enough for me to say that she writes a crazy story. *whisper:But it's true. She do writes crazy story..*
Spotless is a story about Island (a nerdy heroine who has the habit of thinking "scientifically" if stressed and who is also socially awkward) and March (a professional killer who has OCD. No joke.)
The story began when Island came home to her apartment and find March arranging her tax returns. No, March is not there to clean her
Uh oh moment.
Characters:
Island is definitely cray-cray.She's smart and yet at the same time, she has this endearing naivety in her.And the stuffs that came out of her mouth are hilarious!
“Just so you know, I practice Spanish watching Dora the Explorer and playing GTA, so I know how to say backpack, whore, and weed. I hope you’re impressed.”
“I tried to ignore the quizzical stares of the shoppers passing by. So I had no pants and no shoes, so what? Fuck you, France!"
See?Told ya she's crazy.
March is..complicated.
‘I stared at him, baffled. Who the hell was March? Was he the ruthless professional killer…Or the gentle and slightly lunar guy telling me about his collection of ostrich pictures?’
March is a hitman who is Obsessive Compulsive. Dirty house of the person he's supposed to kill? He'll clean it and most of the time, it was used as a running gag in the story.
"We're done here."
He didn't budge."You didn't switch the bras. Your underwear won't be coordinated."
Sweet Jesus, it was OCD time.
And March has this weird fascination with ostriches.
"I like ostriches. There's a certain depth to their gaze."
The Romance
NO INSTA-LOVE, thank fuck. The romance is sweet and the pacing for it is just perfect. No unnecessary idiots are included.
Spotless is a fun quirky read that can make you laugh and fall in love a little page by page.
Highly recommended if you're looking for a fluffy read.
April 17, 2019
I'm going to think about my rating. Rtc.
& I have thought. I had mixed feelings going into this book. The premise sounded good - & I really liked the cover art.
My Goodreads friend Christina really liked this novel, https://www.goodreads.com/review/show..., but Jacob really didn't https://www.goodreads.com/review/show... Jilly ended up with a DNF. https://www.goodreads.com/review/show... Sadly I'm with Jacob & Jilly on this one - in fact, Jacob's review mirrors my own feelings so closely I don't know why I'm bothering to write a review! (ok I do - because I review everything I read.)
I loved the excerpts from non-existent (but undoubtedly torrid! ) romance novels, written by literary stars like Gilda Sapphire & Muffin Thorpe. & I thought Ms Monk had a bright & breezy writing style - until she switched to a quite frightening scene of This isn't a twist, this is a promising author who hasn't yet mastered their writing style. I don't normally give warning about triggers as I believe we are adults who should make our own reading choices, but I went into this one expecting a Janet Evanovich in style, not the Marquis de Sade! I think this changed in direction could be quite traumatising to women who have experienced sexual violence.
Another irritant was the endless foreign phrases translated immediately into English. While I had already realised this wasn't the fun, escapist read I hoped for, I didn't want to work this hard at the read.This was just showing off.
March came across as more of a whack job than a tormented hero. Island often seem in more danger from him than the actual villains.
& finally - the proofreading. I gained the impression from the acknowledgements that Ms Monk did, or at least assisted with, the editing. If so, she did a wonderful job until the last few chapters when the typos come in - not thick & fast, but there are a few.
I won't pursue this series any further but I think Ms Monk has potential & I might look at reading another of her books.
https://wordpress.com/view/carolshess...
& I have thought. I had mixed feelings going into this book. The premise sounded good - & I really liked the cover art.
My Goodreads friend Christina really liked this novel, https://www.goodreads.com/review/show..., but Jacob really didn't https://www.goodreads.com/review/show... Jilly ended up with a DNF. https://www.goodreads.com/review/show... Sadly I'm with Jacob & Jilly on this one - in fact, Jacob's review mirrors my own feelings so closely I don't know why I'm bothering to write a review! (ok I do - because I review everything I read.)
I loved the excerpts from non-existent (but undoubtedly torrid! ) romance novels, written by literary stars like Gilda Sapphire & Muffin Thorpe. & I thought Ms Monk had a bright & breezy writing style - until she switched to a quite frightening scene of This isn't a twist, this is a promising author who hasn't yet mastered their writing style. I don't normally give warning about triggers as I believe we are adults who should make our own reading choices, but I went into this one expecting a Janet Evanovich in style, not the Marquis de Sade! I think this changed in direction could be quite traumatising to women who have experienced sexual violence.
Another irritant was the endless foreign phrases translated immediately into English. While I had already realised this wasn't the fun, escapist read I hoped for, I didn't want to work this hard at the read.This was just showing off.
March came across as more of a whack job than a tormented hero. Island often seem in more danger from him than the actual villains.
& finally - the proofreading. I gained the impression from the acknowledgements that Ms Monk did, or at least assisted with, the editing. If so, she did a wonderful job until the last few chapters when the typos come in - not thick & fast, but there are a few.
I won't pursue this series any further but I think Ms Monk has potential & I might look at reading another of her books.
https://wordpress.com/view/carolshess...
October 25, 2022
“Küçükhanımı korkuttun. Ona iyi olduğunu söyle.”
Adam ilk başta inlemeye devam etti ama ilan onu silahıyla dürtünce, çatlak bir sesle, “Ben... iyiyim,” dedi.
Hayatta olduğuna dair bu kanıt yüreğime su serpti ama hâlâ onu ağır yaralamış olmaktan endişeleniyordum.
“Durumu nasıl?”
“Hımm, bir bakalım... bacakta iki, kalçada bir... ah, müthiş bir iş çıkarmışsın cherie,” dedi ilan tetikçiyi kontrol ederken.
“Ne... dördüncü kurşun nerede?”
Kurbanımdan kulakları sağır eden bir haykırış yükseldi.
“Beni aletimden vurdun, kaltak!”
Ellerimle ağzımı kapadım.
“Çok özür dilerim! Acaba... düştü mü?”
“Hayır.” Ilan kıkırdadı.
Kusursuz Elmas, absürt kurgusu ve son derece ilginç karakterleri ile son zamanlarda okuduğum en iyi kitaplardan biriydi bana göre. Obsesif kompulsif bozukluğu olan bir tetikçi, tam anlamıyla asosyal, kendini berbat romantizm kitaplarına kaptırmış bir kadının kahkahalara boğan, enteresan maceraları işleniyor kitapta. Eh, tabi ki bolca kahkaha ve suratımızda oluşan şapşal gülümse kitap boyunca yüzümüzden eksik olmuyor.
Kusursuz Elmas, öyle çok cafcaflı bir kurguya sahip değil. Didik didik inceleyip her olayı kafaya takarak okursanız zerre keyif almazsınız bunu önceden söyleyeyim. Boş zamanınızda sadece "eğlenmek" için okunursa beklenileni tam anlamıyla veriyor ve eh, ben de buna bakarım. Ben kitaplarda romantizmin yanında hafif macera okumayı seven bir okuyucuyum. Kitabımızda macera kısmı tam anlamıyla oturmamış olsa da olan olayların absürtlüğü, kitabın macera kısmını okuyucuya göz ardı ettiriyor.
Genel kurgunun yanında bir de karakterlerden bahsedeceğim ki bu karakterler bana göre bir romantik komedide işlenecek en orijinal karakterlerdi. Düşünsenize bir tetikçisiniz, bir insan öldürebiliyorsunuz, bu sizin mesleğiniz. Ama dağınık bir ortama en ufak bir pisliğe dayanamıyorsunuz. Bir işin üstündeyken bir anda dağınık bir çarşaf dikkatinizi dağıtabiliyor. İşi bırakıp "kurbanın" evini temizlemeye başlıyorsunuz. Çok ilginç değil mi, özellikle de karakterin mesleği(!) göz önüne alındığında. Bu yüzden kitabın ana erkek karakteri March benim için en özgün karakterlerden biriydi. Davranışları dengesiz, aklımızdaki tetikçi tanımına zerre uymayan, tam anlamıyla yumuşak işlenmiş bir karakter. Ve ben bu karakteri okumaktan aşırı zevk aldım.
Kadın karakterden fazla uzun bahsetmeyeceğim birçok yerde zekâsını kullanamadığını, işleri birbirine karıştırıp kitaba tam anlamıyla renk verdiğini bilmenizi istiyorum sadece.
Son olarak tam da romantik kitapları bir "diss" niteliğinde kitabın bölüm başlarında erotik romanlar ile dalga geçen çok eğlenceli alıntılar mevcut. Her bölüm başını sırf onlar için iple çektim yemin ediyorum. Bayılıyorum böyle ince dokundurmalara.
Adam ilk başta inlemeye devam etti ama ilan onu silahıyla dürtünce, çatlak bir sesle, “Ben... iyiyim,” dedi.
Hayatta olduğuna dair bu kanıt yüreğime su serpti ama hâlâ onu ağır yaralamış olmaktan endişeleniyordum.
“Durumu nasıl?”
“Hımm, bir bakalım... bacakta iki, kalçada bir... ah, müthiş bir iş çıkarmışsın cherie,” dedi ilan tetikçiyi kontrol ederken.
“Ne... dördüncü kurşun nerede?”
Kurbanımdan kulakları sağır eden bir haykırış yükseldi.
“Beni aletimden vurdun, kaltak!”
Ellerimle ağzımı kapadım.
“Çok özür dilerim! Acaba... düştü mü?”
“Hayır.” Ilan kıkırdadı.
Kusursuz Elmas, absürt kurgusu ve son derece ilginç karakterleri ile son zamanlarda okuduğum en iyi kitaplardan biriydi bana göre. Obsesif kompulsif bozukluğu olan bir tetikçi, tam anlamıyla asosyal, kendini berbat romantizm kitaplarına kaptırmış bir kadının kahkahalara boğan, enteresan maceraları işleniyor kitapta. Eh, tabi ki bolca kahkaha ve suratımızda oluşan şapşal gülümse kitap boyunca yüzümüzden eksik olmuyor.
Kusursuz Elmas, öyle çok cafcaflı bir kurguya sahip değil. Didik didik inceleyip her olayı kafaya takarak okursanız zerre keyif almazsınız bunu önceden söyleyeyim. Boş zamanınızda sadece "eğlenmek" için okunursa beklenileni tam anlamıyla veriyor ve eh, ben de buna bakarım. Ben kitaplarda romantizmin yanında hafif macera okumayı seven bir okuyucuyum. Kitabımızda macera kısmı tam anlamıyla oturmamış olsa da olan olayların absürtlüğü, kitabın macera kısmını okuyucuya göz ardı ettiriyor.
Genel kurgunun yanında bir de karakterlerden bahsedeceğim ki bu karakterler bana göre bir romantik komedide işlenecek en orijinal karakterlerdi. Düşünsenize bir tetikçisiniz, bir insan öldürebiliyorsunuz, bu sizin mesleğiniz. Ama dağınık bir ortama en ufak bir pisliğe dayanamıyorsunuz. Bir işin üstündeyken bir anda dağınık bir çarşaf dikkatinizi dağıtabiliyor. İşi bırakıp "kurbanın" evini temizlemeye başlıyorsunuz. Çok ilginç değil mi, özellikle de karakterin mesleği(!) göz önüne alındığında. Bu yüzden kitabın ana erkek karakteri March benim için en özgün karakterlerden biriydi. Davranışları dengesiz, aklımızdaki tetikçi tanımına zerre uymayan, tam anlamıyla yumuşak işlenmiş bir karakter. Ve ben bu karakteri okumaktan aşırı zevk aldım.
Kadın karakterden fazla uzun bahsetmeyeceğim birçok yerde zekâsını kullanamadığını, işleri birbirine karıştırıp kitaba tam anlamıyla renk verdiğini bilmenizi istiyorum sadece.
Son olarak tam da romantik kitapları bir "diss" niteliğinde kitabın bölüm başlarında erotik romanlar ile dalga geçen çok eğlenceli alıntılar mevcut. Her bölüm başını sırf onlar için iple çektim yemin ediyorum. Bayılıyorum böyle ince dokundurmalara.
November 30, 2015
What a pleasant surprise! When I purchased this little "gem" (see what I did there?) for less than 5 bucks off audible I didn't really have my hopes up. However, I wanted a new audio book, and the premise sounded entertaining and it had good reviews, so here we are...
So Island is a young woman who comes home early one day to find gun for hire English James Bond type March in her living room, sorting through her things... And cleaning them. He has a pretty bad case of OCD... He wants a diamond that her late mother stole ten years ago and doesn't really buy her "I have no idea what the hell you are talking about" pleading (even though she actually doesn't know what he is talking about). So there begins Island's adventure around the world with March in an attempt to not only find the diamond, but discover who her mother actually was, and what exactly does March have to do with any of this... Whilst also trying to figure out what is going on with this spark between her and the hunky Englishman.
Spotless was a great to listen to for a bit of escapism. The first half of the book was setting up the scene and the characters, it was enjoyable, but it wasn't till the second half that I really started enjoying it. There were a few violent scenes which were pretty tame (by my standards - Me being a pretty big blood and gore fan). And some killer romantic tension happening, especially in the last half of the book.
There were a few twists and turns that I didn't see coming, and I always love that, because I'm normally not easily surprised...
I loved the characters, especially March. Island and her constant rambling annoyed me on occasion but not enough for me to dislike her character. I enjoyed the secondary characters in Spotless. They all had surprising depth.
The audio version was pretty good. Amy McFadden did a great job, especially in the little snippets before each chapter. However the one thing that I didn't like was her rendition of March. For some reason with the English accent she pulled I could not for the life of me picture a sexy man! I couldn't take it seriously. It didn't go so far as to ruin the story for me, but for me it was a small downer in an otherwise entertaining performance.
Would I recommend Spotless?
Yes absolutely for anyone who loves a bit of entertaining romantic tension and suspense, a very odd "bad" guy, and someone who doesn't mind getting caught off guard by a funny part of the story and snorting out some of their drink... Twice!
For more reviews visit my blog
www.booksbabiesbeing.com
On twitter:
www.twitter.com/BBB_Mel
So Island is a young woman who comes home early one day to find gun for hire English James Bond type March in her living room, sorting through her things... And cleaning them. He has a pretty bad case of OCD... He wants a diamond that her late mother stole ten years ago and doesn't really buy her "I have no idea what the hell you are talking about" pleading (even though she actually doesn't know what he is talking about). So there begins Island's adventure around the world with March in an attempt to not only find the diamond, but discover who her mother actually was, and what exactly does March have to do with any of this... Whilst also trying to figure out what is going on with this spark between her and the hunky Englishman.
Spotless was a great to listen to for a bit of escapism. The first half of the book was setting up the scene and the characters, it was enjoyable, but it wasn't till the second half that I really started enjoying it. There were a few violent scenes which were pretty tame (by my standards - Me being a pretty big blood and gore fan). And some killer romantic tension happening, especially in the last half of the book.
There were a few twists and turns that I didn't see coming, and I always love that, because I'm normally not easily surprised...
I loved the characters, especially March. Island and her constant rambling annoyed me on occasion but not enough for me to dislike her character. I enjoyed the secondary characters in Spotless. They all had surprising depth.
The audio version was pretty good. Amy McFadden did a great job, especially in the little snippets before each chapter. However the one thing that I didn't like was her rendition of March. For some reason with the English accent she pulled I could not for the life of me picture a sexy man! I couldn't take it seriously. It didn't go so far as to ruin the story for me, but for me it was a small downer in an otherwise entertaining performance.
Would I recommend Spotless?
Yes absolutely for anyone who loves a bit of entertaining romantic tension and suspense, a very odd "bad" guy, and someone who doesn't mind getting caught off guard by a funny part of the story and snorting out some of their drink... Twice!
For more reviews visit my blog
www.booksbabiesbeing.com
On twitter:
www.twitter.com/BBB_Mel
January 1, 2017
And the first book of the year goes to...
Camilla Monk yay :D
Camilla Monk yay :D
August 30, 2019
Do you like Spy thrillers? Treasure hunt of a precious jewel? Swoon-worthy hitmen with simply hilarious and adorable OCD for cleanliness? Totally quirky (not artificially so) and nerdy heroines with a penchant for reading romance novels?
Then go ahead and read this book. I G-u-a-r-a-n-t-e-e you won't regret it.
I accidentally stumbled upon this book. Who am I kidding, it was actually the cover that grabbed my eyeballs. Then I saw its a spy/thriller...ooooh colour me curious I'd say. But I did hedge for a while seeing that it was a series. I found Gold!!!
This part of the series was nothing short of fantastic. A little bit thrilling, a bit dark, awesomely hilarious (I found it really hard to contain my laughter, while sneaking in a read at work) and definitely swoon-worthy. I declare Mr. March/November etc as my this year's most fave hero err anti-hero?
That's the Mr/ March/November of my dreams :D
TBH loved each and every bit of this story. I immediately started the second part of the series, at 1:30 at night because I just couldn't wait to catch up with series (am actually on the third book as I am writing this reaction/review thing)
I accidentally stumbled upon this book. Who am I kidding, it was actually the cover that grabbed my eye
This part of the series was nothing short of fantastic. A little bit thrilling, a bit dark, awesomely hilarious (I found it really hard to contain my laughter, while sneaking in a read at work) and definitely swoon-worthy.
That's the Mr/ March/November of my dreams :D
TBH loved each and every bit of this story. I immediately started the second part of the series, at 1:30 at night because I just couldn't wait to catch up with series (am actually on the third book as I am writing this reaction/review thing)
July 21, 2016
Spotless by Camilla Monk was goofy and gauche and downright delightful. Laugh-out-loud in spots, this book has an unpolished charm that matches its heroine's disarming sweetness and self-deprecating humor.
"Somewhere in the maze of my mind a little chunk of gray matter that wasn't pissing itself in terror connected this sound with the cold sensation around my wrists. He had handcuffed me." Now in another book - one Camilla Monk probably would have poked fun at in her hilarious, tongue-in-cheek romance book quotes at the beginning of each chapter - this might have been a precursor to some sexy bondage times. Here, however, OCD anti-hero March really is cuffing her so that he can search her apartment in peace - while he simultaneously straightens a few stacks of Island's mess of romance books strewn across her bedroom floor.
What ensues is a madcap adventure across multiple international time zones. And violence, lots of violence. Every crime syndicate in the world must be chasing Island, March and this elusive diamond. But truthfully, if Spotless were a movie, it would get an R-rating for violence rather than sexual content. It's the kind of movie teenage boys would flock to except the main character is a trouble-attracting poppet with a smart mouth and a soft side who is falling hard for her hard-bodied captor.
This book is refreshingly wacky. In the hands of some big-wig publisher or editor, it probably would have been polished and smoothed within an inch of its life. Island would have had hidden karate talents and a spine of steel, March's violence would have been toned down in order to make him more plausible as a romantic lead, and the villains wouldn't have looked like they came out of some Pink Panther re-make. Island is shrewd, but insecure. Her humanity keeps getting in the way of her sense. March is taciturn and brutally efficient with any weapon available, but then up pops a hint of sarcastic humor: "I'm actually thirty-two, and I never thought I'd hear a socially crippled virgin who binges on romance books speculate on my size. You made my day." I really liked the indie-feel of this novel. So fun.
What makes Spotless amusing is that Island is a romantic heroine caught in a suspense thriller plot. She's smart, but has a tendency to evaluate situations based on her reading preference. "If things were headed the way I thought they were, March was supposed to undress me slowly in the dark - with a saxophone solo in the background." But since this book is, at its heart, a romantic thriller, one guess as to whether Island gets to hear the end of that serenade. The description of this book says this is book one of Island and March's ongoing adventures, which is a big tease to tune in next time for new villains, new capers and more opportunities to live vicariously on the high of romance.
Finally, I can't leave this review without commenting more specifically on the romance book quotes that start each chapter. I laughed and laughed because they could be so true. Here is one of the quotes: "'Rick loathed the idea of cheating on Belinda with a stripper spy, but he had made a commitment to serve his country and the CIA demanded that he draw his weapon.' - Sabrina Boys, Slip of the Thong." But how outrageous are these quotes really? After finishing Spotless, I looked at the list of "customer also bought" books. Here were some of the titles: The Virgin Romance Novelist; Pucked; Slow Hand (Hot Cowboy Nights Book 1); Mermadmen; Taken, Not Spurred; and Beauty & the Biker. Cheers to poking a little satirical fun at the romance category in general while actually showing a love of the genre through the story-telling. Priceless.
"Somewhere in the maze of my mind a little chunk of gray matter that wasn't pissing itself in terror connected this sound with the cold sensation around my wrists. He had handcuffed me." Now in another book - one Camilla Monk probably would have poked fun at in her hilarious, tongue-in-cheek romance book quotes at the beginning of each chapter - this might have been a precursor to some sexy bondage times. Here, however, OCD anti-hero March really is cuffing her so that he can search her apartment in peace - while he simultaneously straightens a few stacks of Island's mess of romance books strewn across her bedroom floor.
What ensues is a madcap adventure across multiple international time zones. And violence, lots of violence. Every crime syndicate in the world must be chasing Island, March and this elusive diamond. But truthfully, if Spotless were a movie, it would get an R-rating for violence rather than sexual content. It's the kind of movie teenage boys would flock to except the main character is a trouble-attracting poppet with a smart mouth and a soft side who is falling hard for her hard-bodied captor.
This book is refreshingly wacky. In the hands of some big-wig publisher or editor, it probably would have been polished and smoothed within an inch of its life. Island would have had hidden karate talents and a spine of steel, March's violence would have been toned down in order to make him more plausible as a romantic lead, and the villains wouldn't have looked like they came out of some Pink Panther re-make. Island is shrewd, but insecure. Her humanity keeps getting in the way of her sense. March is taciturn and brutally efficient with any weapon available, but then up pops a hint of sarcastic humor: "I'm actually thirty-two, and I never thought I'd hear a socially crippled virgin who binges on romance books speculate on my size. You made my day." I really liked the indie-feel of this novel. So fun.
What makes Spotless amusing is that Island is a romantic heroine caught in a suspense thriller plot. She's smart, but has a tendency to evaluate situations based on her reading preference. "If things were headed the way I thought they were, March was supposed to undress me slowly in the dark - with a saxophone solo in the background." But since this book is, at its heart, a romantic thriller, one guess as to whether Island gets to hear the end of that serenade. The description of this book says this is book one of Island and March's ongoing adventures, which is a big tease to tune in next time for new villains, new capers and more opportunities to live vicariously on the high of romance.
Finally, I can't leave this review without commenting more specifically on the romance book quotes that start each chapter. I laughed and laughed because they could be so true. Here is one of the quotes: "'Rick loathed the idea of cheating on Belinda with a stripper spy, but he had made a commitment to serve his country and the CIA demanded that he draw his weapon.' - Sabrina Boys, Slip of the Thong." But how outrageous are these quotes really? After finishing Spotless, I looked at the list of "customer also bought" books. Here were some of the titles: The Virgin Romance Novelist; Pucked; Slow Hand (Hot Cowboy Nights Book 1); Mermadmen; Taken, Not Spurred; and Beauty & the Biker. Cheers to poking a little satirical fun at the romance category in general while actually showing a love of the genre through the story-telling. Priceless.
May 16, 2015
‘Sweet Jesus, it was OCD time.’
This story was not at all what we were expecting but how refreshingly surprising was the fact that we fell in complete book love. Spotless is a brilliantly written story with a difference. It crosses a few genres and brings something completely new to the table. It’s laugh out loud funny, it’s sweet and strangely romantic but in quite a unique way. It’s thrilling and suspenseful whilst fast paced and quirky. There was so much happening; so many details all wrapped up in a strange kidnapping on the hunt for a diamond.
“March…how does it work? Do we trust each other now?”
“I’m afraid so, Island.”
Not everything was as it seemed and when we finished we were left gagging for more. After a few serious reads we needed a laugh and that is exactly what we got here. Don’t be fooled though, this is strangely not a comedy but the banter and internal musings as well as compelling personality quirks made this ‘serious twisted fun’.
We loved both the heroine, Island and our hero, March equally, definitely wanting more – their connection both intriguing and in some respects left us wanting. There’s no nookie time nor is there any level of romance many romance readers are used to but you know what? We LOVED this fact, as the underlying questionable tension was there and all the more powerful as it was under exceptional circumstances. Would we have liked more romance? Sure as we loved these two characters. However, it did not spoil our enjoyment of their story.
‘Never in my life had I wished for a thousand – foot – wide asteroid to change its course to hit someone directly in the face…I was now officially over March.’
A professional killer with OCD – bloody hell we LOVE Mr. March or is it June or December? This guy was addictively hilarious yet incredibly suave and mysterious.
‘March was in love. With Haru’s remote controlled mop.’
We just couldn’t help but fall for him. And HURRAHHHH March has chest hair – we are so tired of Ken Doll chests in our fiction!!
‘I knew it was wrong, but I pictured myself burying my face in his chest to rub my cheeks against that damn hair and inhale his scent, kinda like cocaine addicts do when they’re at the end of the road and they just slam their face into the entire bag.’
As for Island – sweet and geeky, funny and strong. There was definitely more than meets the eye to her character. Their story is quite strange at times, full of criminal dealings and bloodshed. However, it had a strong human element that kept us reading and left us wanting the next book. There’s definitely a bit of a cliff-hanger wrapped up in a bit of a closed ending so really it’s not one that’ll keep you up at night. Rather, we’re so excited for more and hope we get March and Island back soon!
‘I stared at him, baffled. Who the hell was March? Was he the ruthless professional killer…Or the gentle and slightly lunar guy telling me about his collection of ostrich pictures?’
**Reviewed from an ARC Copy kindly provided by Montlake via Netgalley, with thanks**
★ ☆ ★ ☆ ★
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February 6, 2017
Geeky-ish, romance-reading protagonist? OCD killer-love interest? Mystery? Romance? Humor? Action? Paris? Tokyo? Let's goooooo~~~~
Plot
I keep on going back between thinking this book is realllly cute and thinking it's realllly creepy. It’s most likely both. This book is not afraid to go there. I was honestly expecting this book to be more of a cutesie, funny, romantic mystery – and it does have some cute scenes, some funny scenes, some romantic scenes, and mystery (I mean LOOK AT THAT COVER - it looks so cute and innocent! And PG!). However, what I wasn’t expecting was that some serious shit actually happens in this book too. The protagonist gets kidnapped multiple times, gets tied down naked on a table (and touched) by one of the antagonists, gets slapped by rough men, etc. etc. And besides that, people are dying left and right, creepers are everywhere, one guy almost gets his balls cut off , and as I’m reading all of this, I’m just like, “WHOA WHOA. This book is fuckin’ crazy!” It definitely has a mixture of vibes – both lighter and heavier moods.
From the very first page, we dive right into the mystery. The protagonist, Island, along with her kidnapper-savior-friend-love-interest (complicated relationship, I know), March, try to figure out the location of a lost, billions-dollar-worth diamond. And then, there’s the mystery of March who is honestly confusing AF. What does he want with Island? Does he even want anything from her? Is he good -is he bad - what's he about??? I have to say that throughout this book, while we are getting bits of clues here and there, predicting the truth about some of the mystery is not that hard - A bit predictable at times, but some things are just plain confusing. Even now, and especially after reading the last page, I’m just like, “Wait. What???” I feel like this is one of those mysteries where the clues are entertaining, but really, you’re not going to get shit until you reach the final destination. I had guesses of what was going on, of course, but really, the only thing that mattered to me was getting the truth. I was confused on the 1st page - and I'm still confused now because while some things are resolved, a lot of things are still left wide open.
Anyway, the plot is fun. Creepy, yes. But also highly entertaining. There are different settings (Paris, Tokyo), lots of guns and running-for-your-life situations, ongoing mysteries, etc.
Characters
--Island: She’s rather adorable, somewhat geeky and relatable. She has definitely gone through a lot in the 5 or so days that this book shows. I like that her personality is rather distinctive. Her responses are never bland, and she reacts in a way that makes sense of her personality. I like her. Through all the madness, she has been stronger and calmer than I would ever be. She's an absolute sweetie (but she does have a backbone sometimes too).
--March: His personality is intriguing to learn more about. While we don’t really get to know too much about him (at least not in the 1st book), there is something about this character that makes you crave to know more. He has OCD. He’s a professional killer. He has no problem with killing and torturing, but he kinda has an ethical side. He is so very confusing. I like him as a character, but I don’t think I can say I love his character without finding more about him in the later books.
Romance
This is another romance where you have to internally debate if the love interest is crossing a line. March isn't exactly an alpha male. He's not weirdly possessive or acting outrageously out of romantic notions, but he is forceful and never tells the protagonist about anything - I mean he IS a professional killer with an agenda. He manhandles her, especially at the beginning of the book, when he interrogates her. Literally, the 1st scene they have together had me questioning a lot, but, still... I ship it. They’re cute, and I like that he protects her. At least the protagonist is aware of possible Stockholm Syndrome. This is a complicated, intriguing romance.
The romance is obviously there, and it can get a bit cheesy at times. However, it’s also rather slowwww. There aren’t too many developments in this book, which is a bit disappointing. I mean I can appreciate the slow build-up, and how the characters realistically realize the challenges of having a romance between a professional killer and an ordinary girl. It’s not all easy-peasy and rose-colored lenses and shitting rainbows or whatever. I’m curious to see what will happen/develop in their relationship in the next book though.
Final Thoughts
I’m giving this 3.5 stars. I like this a bitttt more than an average book… but I don’t quite love it yet – I wanted a bit more…something. I wanted more romantic developments, to learn more about March, just… more. With that being said, this book is highly entertaining. Confusing because it is a mystery, but I’m intrigued by all of the elements we get to see in this book so far. Overall, I like the characters, I ship the romance, and the plot is fun.
Things that you might want to know (WARNING: Spoilers below)
Is there a happy/satisfying ending?
Is there a love triangle? Cheating? Angst level?
Tears-worthy?
Humor?
Favorite scene?
What age level would be appropriate?
Plot
I keep on going back between thinking this book is realllly cute and thinking it's realllly creepy. It’s most likely both. This book is not afraid to go there. I was honestly expecting this book to be more of a cutesie, funny, romantic mystery – and it does have some cute scenes, some funny scenes, some romantic scenes, and mystery (I mean LOOK AT THAT COVER - it looks so cute and innocent! And PG!). However, what I wasn’t expecting was that some serious shit actually happens in this book too. The protagonist gets kidnapped multiple times, gets tied down naked on a table (and touched) by one of the antagonists, gets slapped by rough men, etc. etc. And besides that, people are dying left and right, creepers are everywhere, one guy almost gets his balls cut off , and as I’m reading all of this, I’m just like, “WHOA WHOA. This book is fuckin’ crazy!” It definitely has a mixture of vibes – both lighter and heavier moods.
From the very first page, we dive right into the mystery. The protagonist, Island, along with her kidnapper-savior-friend-love-interest (complicated relationship, I know), March, try to figure out the location of a lost, billions-dollar-worth diamond. And then, there’s the mystery of March who is honestly confusing AF. What does he want with Island? Does he even want anything from her? Is he good -is he bad - what's he about??? I have to say that throughout this book, while we are getting bits of clues here and there, predicting the truth about some of the mystery is not that hard - A bit predictable at times, but some things are just plain confusing. Even now, and especially after reading the last page, I’m just like, “Wait. What???” I feel like this is one of those mysteries where the clues are entertaining, but really, you’re not going to get shit until you reach the final destination. I had guesses of what was going on, of course, but really, the only thing that mattered to me was getting the truth. I was confused on the 1st page - and I'm still confused now because while some things are resolved, a lot of things are still left wide open.
Anyway, the plot is fun. Creepy, yes. But also highly entertaining. There are different settings (Paris, Tokyo), lots of guns and running-for-your-life situations, ongoing mysteries, etc.
Characters
--Island: She’s rather adorable, somewhat geeky and relatable. She has definitely gone through a lot in the 5 or so days that this book shows. I like that her personality is rather distinctive. Her responses are never bland, and she reacts in a way that makes sense of her personality. I like her. Through all the madness, she has been stronger and calmer than I would ever be. She's an absolute sweetie (but she does have a backbone sometimes too).
--March: His personality is intriguing to learn more about. While we don’t really get to know too much about him (at least not in the 1st book), there is something about this character that makes you crave to know more. He has OCD. He’s a professional killer. He has no problem with killing and torturing, but he kinda has an ethical side. He is so very confusing. I like him as a character, but I don’t think I can say I love his character without finding more about him in the later books.
Romance
This is another romance where you have to internally debate if the love interest is crossing a line. March isn't exactly an alpha male. He's not weirdly possessive or acting outrageously out of romantic notions, but he is forceful and never tells the protagonist about anything - I mean he IS a professional killer with an agenda. He manhandles her, especially at the beginning of the book, when he interrogates her. Literally, the 1st scene they have together had me questioning a lot, but, still... I ship it. They’re cute, and I like that he protects her. At least the protagonist is aware of possible Stockholm Syndrome. This is a complicated, intriguing romance.
The romance is obviously there, and it can get a bit cheesy at times. However, it’s also rather slowwww. There aren’t too many developments in this book, which is a bit disappointing. I mean I can appreciate the slow build-up, and how the characters realistically realize the challenges of having a romance between a professional killer and an ordinary girl. It’s not all easy-peasy and rose-colored lenses and shitting rainbows or whatever. I’m curious to see what will happen/develop in their relationship in the next book though.
Final Thoughts
I’m giving this 3.5 stars. I like this a bitttt more than an average book… but I don’t quite love it yet – I wanted a bit more…something. I wanted more romantic developments, to learn more about March, just… more. With that being said, this book is highly entertaining. Confusing because it is a mystery, but I’m intrigued by all of the elements we get to see in this book so far. Overall, I like the characters, I ship the romance, and the plot is fun.
Things that you might want to know (WARNING: Spoilers below)
Is there a happy/satisfying ending?
Is there a love triangle? Cheating? Angst level?
Tears-worthy?
Humor?
Favorite scene?
What age level would be appropriate?
April 20, 2021
Nasıl devamı çevrilmez 🤦🏼♀️
September 3, 2019
⭐⭐⭐⭐
Island & March
I read this during a book funk so basically I was struggling during the first half of the story. Still this book was enough to entertain me and get me out of the funk.
One of the funniest book I’ve read so far. I just wish we get to have March’s POV and speaking of March, I never thought I’d come across an assassin who has an OCD 😂
I had so much fun reading this…
Good job Camilla Monk 👍🏻
Island & March
I read this during a book funk so basically I was struggling during the first half of the story. Still this book was enough to entertain me and get me out of the funk.
One of the funniest book I’ve read so far. I just wish we get to have March’s POV and speaking of March, I never thought I’d come across an assassin who has an OCD 😂
I had so much fun reading this…
Good job Camilla Monk 👍🏻
November 30, 2017
Beklemediğim derecede sıkıldım. Güle oynaya okurum diye bekliyordum, çünkü arka kapak çok iddialı cidden. Ama gelin görün ki iki üç kahkaha attığım yer hariç kurgu pek yavan geldi. Koşuşturmacayı beğenirim dedim, orası bile sıktı. Bir de Island - bunun ne saçma bi isim olduğuna değinmeyeceğim bile - baya aptal geldi yani açıkçası. March’ın obsesif kompülsif temizlik hastalarından olması beklediğim kadar da eğlendirmedi bilmiyorum. Kısacası hayal kırıklığı olarak kaldı. Bir de cliffhanger sayılır sonu, serinin geri kalanını okur muyum bilmem.
January 4, 2018
Şuan yorum yapabileceğimi sanmıyorum ama en yakın zamanda mükemmel alıntılarla döneceğim ve siz de benim gibi aşık olacaksınız 😍
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