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Written in the Stars
This heart-wrenching novel explores what it is like to be thrust into an unwanted marriage. Has Naila’s fate been written in the stars? Or can she still make her own destiny?
Naila’s conservative immigrant parents have always said the same thing: She may choose what to study, how to wear her hair, and what to be when she grows up—but they will choose her husband. Following their cultural tradition, they will plan an arranged marriage for her. And until then, dating—even friendship with a boy—is forbidden.
When Naila breaks their rule by falling in love with Saif, her parents are livid. Convinced she has forgotten who she truly is, they travel to Pakistan to visit relatives and explore their roots. But Naila’s vacation turns into a nightmare when she learns that plans have changed—her parents have found her a husband and they want her to marry him, now! Despite her greatest efforts, Naila is aghast to find herself cut off from everything and everyone she once knew. Her only hope of escape is Saif . . . if he can find her before it’s too late.
Naila’s conservative immigrant parents have always said the same thing: She may choose what to study, how to wear her hair, and what to be when she grows up—but they will choose her husband. Following their cultural tradition, they will plan an arranged marriage for her. And until then, dating—even friendship with a boy—is forbidden.
When Naila breaks their rule by falling in love with Saif, her parents are livid. Convinced she has forgotten who she truly is, they travel to Pakistan to visit relatives and explore their roots. But Naila’s vacation turns into a nightmare when she learns that plans have changed—her parents have found her a husband and they want her to marry him, now! Despite her greatest efforts, Naila is aghast to find herself cut off from everything and everyone she once knew. Her only hope of escape is Saif . . . if he can find her before it’s too late.
277 pages, Hardcover
First published March 24, 2015
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April 9, 2015
Life is full of sadness. It's part of being a woman. Our lives are lived for the sake of others. Our happiness is never factored in.
I'm not sure what I expected from Written in the Stars, but it definitely wasn't what I received. Naila's story of a forced, arranged marriage both shocked and horrified me to the point where I had to put the book down several times. It reminds me of how I felt while reading Little Peach, except I knew going into that one was going to be hard. I didn't expect the same level of anger and heartbreak as Naila's situation went from not-so-great to down right horrifying.
Naila is hiding a secret from her parents: She's in love with a boy named Saif and if her parents were to find out, they'd be furious. The choosing of her husband is left to up to them, with no input from her. As a result, This may see like too much involvement for some, but for Naila culture, it's a deep level of trust and love for her parents that motivates her to accept this... kinda. The problem is that since she has found someone who she's fallen in love with, she no longer wants that for herself. But the worst does happen, and Naila suddenly finds herself whisked off to Pakistan, far away from the boy she loves and a life she wants.
Written in the Stars really opened my eyes to the issue of forced marriages and arranged marriages. Before reading this novel, I personally couldn't understand why someone would be okay with any form of an arranged marriage, but Naila's story has really shown me that a forced marriage is NOT the same thing as an arranged marriage. I really loved Saeed's guest post at YA Highway, where she goes into detail about the different forms of arranged marriages and I encourage you to check it out and learn new things! Naila is coerced, drugged and imprisoned during her "courting process." She doesn't want the life that her parents are choosing for her and tries desperately to escape. This, obviously, is completely wrong and a form of abuse.
There was a part of me that understood her parents' concern for Naila. I too grew up in a very religious household where I wasn't allowed to go to school events and parties or out with friends. Thankfully, I was given a lot more freedom and my parents became more understanding while I was in high school. So I understood why her parents were strict: they viewed it as a way of protection for their daughter. Unfortunately, they completely crossed the line and abused the trust Naila had in them by forcing her into a marriage she didn't want. They are a perfect example of having honorable intentions, but horrible, horrible actions through unreasonable justification. They fully believed that what they were doing was for the good of Naila and they viewed her relationship with Saif as a threat to her future. It also seemed like they were angry that Naila took away their "right" to choose her mate. There were just so many complex parts to their relationship.
What I really enjoyed was the writing style. It's very simple in nature, which originally concerned me. But I grew to appreciate it more as the story went along because it allowed for Naila's vulnerability to truly shine through. There weren't any fancy prose or deeply metaphorical phrases to distract the reader from what was actually happening. Naila's circumstance was enough to completely captivate me from beginning to end.
I also appreciated Saeed's Author's Note at the end that mentions forced marriages can happen in any culture, country or religion and is condemned by all. This was such an important distinction because there are some cultures and religions that get a lot of flack about arranged marriages in general. I love how she makes the reader aware that an arranged marriage is a loving arrangement between all parties and that no one should be forced to do anything they don't want. This is also why I think it was smart that Saeed left out mentions of any of the characters' religious beliefs. I know this may be a fear of some readers, but it was very tastefully done and Naila's religion is not blamed for what happened to her. The only blame placed is on the people that did this to her.
To conclude, I'm so happy I read Written in the Stars because it's helped me understand so much more about arranged marriages and forced marriages. It's books like this that make me incredibly grateful for the We Need Diverse Books campaign to help put more books like this on the market. I'm really excited for what Saeed writes about next.
ARC was provided from publisher for an honest review.
More reviews and other fantastical things at Cuddlebuggery.
February 7, 2017
As a Pakistani American I was hoping to being able to relate to this book, but I obviously didn't because the people and relatives I know about that live in Pakistan don't live a horrible life like the people in this book did. I also didn't relate to this book bc of the whole forced marriage issue. I know for a fact my parents won't force me to marry a guy without my consent.
One thing that I saw a lot when I was reading reviews for this book was that people said these "forced marriages" happen in the Muslim community. I just want to say that the religion isn't to blame for a forced marriage. Heck it's forbidden in Islam for forcing someone to marry against there will. As a Muslim myself it made me angry seeing these lies spread about my religion. It's the people or parents to blame who do this to their children. It is not the religions fault. I'm pretty sure Naila is a Muslim, correct me if I'm wrong, which is why I've brought this up.
I'm pretty sure the author mentioned this in the authors note, but I'd like to say it in my review. This book shows that forced marriages can happen in any culture, race or religion. It has happened and can be happening right now to so many girls and it is wrong.
This book isn't saying arranged marriages are bad, but arranging a marriage for someone, against their will and forcing them to marry is wrong. It's totally fine for parents to choose their childs partner in life as long as their daughter/son is willing to and saying it is okay. I hated Naila's parents. They didn't listen to her, they didn't let her explain herself and did this to her. Worst of all, they thought it was for her own good. I'm so glad my parents aren't like this and are more open minded. Excuse me, I'm gonna go hug my mom.
What happened to Naila was wrong and extremely heartbreaking to read about. I definitely recommend you read this because people should be educated about this topic of forced marriages and respect the culture of Pakistan, of course, especially with what's happening in the world today. I'm so glad I read this.
I also don't know how to rate this. Whether it is five stars or four. I've gotta think about it bc at some parts my heart hurt for Naila but I wasn't able to relate to this book which has left me disappointed. This is a tough book for me and I'm going to take some time and think about how to rate this.
This is a solid four stars.
*
*
*
BR with the one and only Blues clues.
One thing that I saw a lot when I was reading reviews for this book was that people said these "forced marriages" happen in the Muslim community. I just want to say that the religion isn't to blame for a forced marriage. Heck it's forbidden in Islam for forcing someone to marry against there will. As a Muslim myself it made me angry seeing these lies spread about my religion. It's the people or parents to blame who do this to their children. It is not the religions fault. I'm pretty sure Naila is a Muslim, correct me if I'm wrong, which is why I've brought this up.
I'm pretty sure the author mentioned this in the authors note, but I'd like to say it in my review. This book shows that forced marriages can happen in any culture, race or religion. It has happened and can be happening right now to so many girls and it is wrong.
This book isn't saying arranged marriages are bad, but arranging a marriage for someone, against their will and forcing them to marry is wrong. It's totally fine for parents to choose their childs partner in life as long as their daughter/son is willing to and saying it is okay. I hated Naila's parents. They didn't listen to her, they didn't let her explain herself and did this to her. Worst of all, they thought it was for her own good. I'm so glad my parents aren't like this and are more open minded. Excuse me, I'm gonna go hug my mom.
What happened to Naila was wrong and extremely heartbreaking to read about. I definitely recommend you read this because people should be educated about this topic of forced marriages and respect the culture of Pakistan, of course, especially with what's happening in the world today. I'm so glad I read this.
This is a solid four stars.
*
*
*
BR with the one and only Blues clues.
October 9, 2015
MUSHY, OVER-EMOTIONAL REVIEW COMING YOUR WAY. ESCAPE WHILE YOU CAN!
Flawlessly Written in the five stars!
When I couldn’t put the book down, it instantly merits five stars! It’s that simple.
This book, I devoured it in only a little more than three hours. I didn’t do anything else once I started reading it.
The wonderful writing is captivating. I love its smooth, easy, flow that in the beginning warms the heart. No. The better term is, it tricks the heart to feel good as it establishes the characters and the main conflict. (You treacherous book! How could you?!)
The complication (please read the blurb for the conflict) begins early on in the story but the author manages to avert the reader’s attention to something else. She brings the reader to Pakistan (where Naila, the heroine is originally from.) Her parents decide to spend a whole month of summer visiting their homeland and their relatives after 17 long years (Naila’s exact age), until things cool down back home in Florida.
For the first several chapters, the reader learns about Pakistan and the people, a lush depiction of their simple values and ways including their food, clothes and the place which kind of remind me of home.
Everything seems fine until it isn’t anymore as Naila’s life drastically changes or more accurately, her whole future is taken away from her and she herself is taken away from the boy she loves when her parents decide to marry her off to some man and leave her in Pakistan for good.
Naila’s parents,
The story started wrecking my heart. Slowly. Completely.
It’s overwhelming how the story struck my heart with the painful truth that sometimes, no matter how hard you try, no matter how much you want something, if it isn’t really meant to be. It’s never going to happen. Destiny sucks sometimes or a lot of times. (I just ruined the tone of this review right there. Lol.)
"Some things they’re just written in the stars. You can try but you can never escape what’s meant to be."
Ugh! Tears just kept coming.
The tragic tone warns of the same tragic ending. I expected no less even though I know it will further crush my already wrecked heart. But….there’s a but! *Gasps*
Read.the.book!^^
"Love, in its essence, at its core, is the most bittersweet thing there is."
This may be a contemporary YA romance novel, but I promise you this is different. Good different. This may be one of the most wonderful romantic stories I’ve read in a very long time.
Afterthoughts
[You don’t really have to read this cheesy, emotional, mostly pointless portion.^^]
October 29, 2015
More reviews and bookish fun at Deadly Darlings!
Five Reasons Why You Must Read Written in the Stars
1.) This book has a cast of authentic characters. Take our main character for example. Naila wants to be strong, but sometimes she doesn't really have a choice, especially where her parents are concerned. A lot of us are this way in real life, yeah?
2.) The romance in this book is absolutely amazing. Holy mother of feels, you guys! The romance was just so heartwarming and so fierce--I was rooting from Naila and Saif from the beginning to the end.
3.) You will learn a lot about other cultures in this book. Arranged marriages, living arrangements, terms of endearment... I didn't know anything about the Pakistani way of living before reading this book. I'd like to say I'm a bit more knowledgeable now.
4.) You will learn so many important life lessons. Like: a) hearts take fucking long to heal, b) parent's don't always know whats best, and c) you have to fight for the things you love.
5.) This book will give you all the feels, and then some. You're going to laugh, swoon, cry, rage, explode, and then cry some more. Trust me on this one.
Five Reasons Why You Must Read Written in the Stars
1.) This book has a cast of authentic characters. Take our main character for example. Naila wants to be strong, but sometimes she doesn't really have a choice, especially where her parents are concerned. A lot of us are this way in real life, yeah?
2.) The romance in this book is absolutely amazing. Holy mother of feels, you guys! The romance was just so heartwarming and so fierce--I was rooting from Naila and Saif from the beginning to the end.
3.) You will learn a lot about other cultures in this book. Arranged marriages, living arrangements, terms of endearment... I didn't know anything about the Pakistani way of living before reading this book. I'd like to say I'm a bit more knowledgeable now.
4.) You will learn so many important life lessons. Like: a) hearts take fucking long to heal, b) parent's don't always know whats best, and c) you have to fight for the things you love.
5.) This book will give you all the feels, and then some. You're going to laugh, swoon, cry, rage, explode, and then cry some more. Trust me on this one.
May 9, 2016
Written in the Stars is actually a book I don't recommend reading the synopsis for, as I feel it spoils a lot of elements of the book. I know I know.. I just posted the synopsis. But that is my review structure and I'm sticking to it.
First off, this was a very interesting story about a subject matter I had never read about before. It introduces the reader to the culture slowly, and I found a lot about it very fascinating.
While I felt for Naila and her plight, I also found her very naive at times. I saw the plot twist coming from a mile away, and it seemed obvious to everyone but her. I also found that due to how short the story was, many of the characters weren't developed. I was hoping for more interactions with her family that made them more sympathetic, when we instead got a very stereotypical image of them and their beliefs. I kept waiting for them to get some redemption, and they never did. I found it very interesting that the author is in a happily arranged marriage herself, and chose instead to write about the horror's surrounding that same topic. I was expecting this book to have a little more middle ground on the subject. While the situations she chose to depict are important, I think that is often the image we see of Middle Eastern culture here in the West, and I would have liked to see something different there.
Lastly, I also found the writing to be simple, and the plot to overall be wrapped up a little too quickly and easily. The writing allowed for the story to move quickly, but it was also very blunt. It made me feel like I was reading a script more than a story. I also felt that the conflict was wrapped up very quickly, leaving me reeling a bit. This story is very intense, and it is brought to a close rather easily. I also felt that the ending was a tad unrealistic for the story.
Overall, I enjoyed this book. I found it to be a quick read about a subject matter that many of us don't know much about. While I had some problems with it, I still think it is worth a read if you are interested.
This review was originally posted on Thoughts on Tomes
First off, this was a very interesting story about a subject matter I had never read about before. It introduces the reader to the culture slowly, and I found a lot about it very fascinating.
While I felt for Naila and her plight, I also found her very naive at times. I saw the plot twist coming from a mile away, and it seemed obvious to everyone but her. I also found that due to how short the story was, many of the characters weren't developed. I was hoping for more interactions with her family that made them more sympathetic, when we instead got a very stereotypical image of them and their beliefs. I kept waiting for them to get some redemption, and they never did. I found it very interesting that the author is in a happily arranged marriage herself, and chose instead to write about the horror's surrounding that same topic. I was expecting this book to have a little more middle ground on the subject. While the situations she chose to depict are important, I think that is often the image we see of Middle Eastern culture here in the West, and I would have liked to see something different there.
Lastly, I also found the writing to be simple, and the plot to overall be wrapped up a little too quickly and easily. The writing allowed for the story to move quickly, but it was also very blunt. It made me feel like I was reading a script more than a story. I also felt that the conflict was wrapped up very quickly, leaving me reeling a bit. This story is very intense, and it is brought to a close rather easily. I also felt that the ending was a tad unrealistic for the story.
Overall, I enjoyed this book. I found it to be a quick read about a subject matter that many of us don't know much about. While I had some problems with it, I still think it is worth a read if you are interested.
This review was originally posted on Thoughts on Tomes
July 19, 2015
I was going to try to give this 4.5 stars but after I thought about it for 0.25 seconds, I realized this book is worth nothing less than 5 stars
I heard someone somewhere say that they read this book in a day and this morning I woke up wanting to do the same thing. I picked up this book and pledged that I would read it all today (or in 24 hours) no matter what happened. I thought maybe it wouldn't happen, or I would have to force myself through certain parts, but nothing of the sort occurred. From the first couple chapters of Written in the Stars, I was completely hooked and immersed in Naila's story. Not once did I actually want to put this book down, but I had to, you know, do normal people things like shower and eat.
This story is a very important one, and it's important to anyone who would read it. This is a story about a Pakistani-American girl who is physically (and occasionally violently) forced into an arraigned marriage completely against her will and the horrible things that follow. This is an important story for Pakistani-American (or just Pakistani) girls to read for many reasons. One, there really just aren't that many YA novels with Pakistani girl MCs. Two, this is a situation that some of them can probably relate to and stories like that are so important , especially for young people. For me, this story was important because it taught me about another culture I knew very little about and it opened up my eyes to a situation and various events that I will never, ever experience in my life. Stories that teach us things about the world and different ways of life other people have are vital because it makes us more educated and more empathic to their lifestyles and life experiences as well as more tolerant to things we are less familiar with. Basically, this is why we need more diverse books, especially in the Young Adult category. Stories like these that teach us the kinds of things I just mentioned are really important for young people because the way that young people think and act up to age, like, 18-21 is how they will be for the rest of their lives. Being more open to others' situations are so important .
Anyway, Aisha Saeed wrote Written in the Stars beautifully and it teaches young people (or any audience of this book because, really, someone of any age can read it) to have empathy and tolerance towards the sorts of situations Naila goes through. The most important part of this book, I think, is what it teaches the reader. It definitely taught me a lot.
This novel also made me think a great deal. It's always nice when a book brings up something that makes you slowly set the book down, stare into the cloudy sky, and really think in depth about what you just read. I thought a lot about what it would be like to be forced into a marriage, I thought a lot about the differences between being an Irish Catholic American versus a Pakistani-American. I contemplated the moral and cultural aspects of arraigned marriages. Even in my head, that one was hard because I almost feel like I don't have the right to think about the moral side of the event. Since I am Irish Catholic and an American, I am incredibly removed from this situation and I don't know much about it at all and I don't know what it's like to grow up just accepting and expecting that my parents will choose my husband. I feel like I don't have the right to state my opinion on it so I won't in this review, but I did think about the whole thing a great deal. I struggled with it because I could see the parents' side of the argument and Naila's side as well. I thought (of course, me, being the feminist warrior I am) about the sexism in arraigned marriages, like whether they are sexist or not. Whether that's ever talked about. Whether females who go through this think it's sexist or believe it to just be part of their culture (this really intrigues me because so many white people claim that wearing garments that cover women's hair is sexist but I've heard plenty of girls who cover their hair to say they like it or it's just purely cultural).
I have gone on quite the tangent here and for that I do not apologize because that whole excessive paragraph shows you how much this book impacted me and how much it just made me think about real things in the world. I hate to say this, because I am such an advocate for Young Adult literature and I believe that it's all worth the same as general "adult" literature but.....It's really nice to find a YA book that was able to provoke so much deep thinking, especially about the actual, real world around me. There are a lot of very good YA books out there that are fun and have great writing and have such rich and alive characters, but rarely do I find a YA book that makes me think about our world. I don't think there is an abundance of YA books that are commentary on things that go on in our country, in different countries and cultures. A lot of YA is fluff. And you know what? I love fluff. But I love books that make me think too.
Writing this review has made me realize a few things. 1) I loved this book more than I thought I did when I started this review. 2) I've been out of school for a couple months and I really miss writing things. I need to write more. 3) There really needs to be more diverse books in YA literature. And I need to read more of the ones that already exist.
If you haven't been able to tell, Written in the Stars is a book that you really, really want to read.
I heard someone somewhere say that they read this book in a day and this morning I woke up wanting to do the same thing. I picked up this book and pledged that I would read it all today (or in 24 hours) no matter what happened. I thought maybe it wouldn't happen, or I would have to force myself through certain parts, but nothing of the sort occurred. From the first couple chapters of Written in the Stars, I was completely hooked and immersed in Naila's story. Not once did I actually want to put this book down, but I had to, you know, do normal people things like shower and eat.
This story is a very important one, and it's important to anyone who would read it. This is a story about a Pakistani-American girl who is physically (and occasionally violently) forced into an arraigned marriage completely against her will and the horrible things that follow. This is an important story for Pakistani-American (or just Pakistani) girls to read for many reasons. One, there really just aren't that many YA novels with Pakistani girl MCs. Two, this is a situation that some of them can probably relate to and stories like that are so important , especially for young people. For me, this story was important because it taught me about another culture I knew very little about and it opened up my eyes to a situation and various events that I will never, ever experience in my life. Stories that teach us things about the world and different ways of life other people have are vital because it makes us more educated and more empathic to their lifestyles and life experiences as well as more tolerant to things we are less familiar with. Basically, this is why we need more diverse books, especially in the Young Adult category. Stories like these that teach us the kinds of things I just mentioned are really important for young people because the way that young people think and act up to age, like, 18-21 is how they will be for the rest of their lives. Being more open to others' situations are so important .
Anyway, Aisha Saeed wrote Written in the Stars beautifully and it teaches young people (or any audience of this book because, really, someone of any age can read it) to have empathy and tolerance towards the sorts of situations Naila goes through. The most important part of this book, I think, is what it teaches the reader. It definitely taught me a lot.
This novel also made me think a great deal. It's always nice when a book brings up something that makes you slowly set the book down, stare into the cloudy sky, and really think in depth about what you just read. I thought a lot about what it would be like to be forced into a marriage, I thought a lot about the differences between being an Irish Catholic American versus a Pakistani-American. I contemplated the moral and cultural aspects of arraigned marriages. Even in my head, that one was hard because I almost feel like I don't have the right to think about the moral side of the event. Since I am Irish Catholic and an American, I am incredibly removed from this situation and I don't know much about it at all and I don't know what it's like to grow up just accepting and expecting that my parents will choose my husband. I feel like I don't have the right to state my opinion on it so I won't in this review, but I did think about the whole thing a great deal. I struggled with it because I could see the parents' side of the argument and Naila's side as well. I thought (of course, me, being the feminist warrior I am) about the sexism in arraigned marriages, like whether they are sexist or not. Whether that's ever talked about. Whether females who go through this think it's sexist or believe it to just be part of their culture (this really intrigues me because so many white people claim that wearing garments that cover women's hair is sexist but I've heard plenty of girls who cover their hair to say they like it or it's just purely cultural).
I have gone on quite the tangent here and for that I do not apologize because that whole excessive paragraph shows you how much this book impacted me and how much it just made me think about real things in the world. I hate to say this, because I am such an advocate for Young Adult literature and I believe that it's all worth the same as general "adult" literature but.....It's really nice to find a YA book that was able to provoke so much deep thinking, especially about the actual, real world around me. There are a lot of very good YA books out there that are fun and have great writing and have such rich and alive characters, but rarely do I find a YA book that makes me think about our world. I don't think there is an abundance of YA books that are commentary on things that go on in our country, in different countries and cultures. A lot of YA is fluff. And you know what? I love fluff. But I love books that make me think too.
Writing this review has made me realize a few things. 1) I loved this book more than I thought I did when I started this review. 2) I've been out of school for a couple months and I really miss writing things. I need to write more. 3) There really needs to be more diverse books in YA literature. And I need to read more of the ones that already exist.
If you haven't been able to tell, Written in the Stars is a book that you really, really want to read.
December 28, 2020
Author's Note: When I was twenty-two years old, I married the love of my life. Both Pakistani-Americans raised in traditional families, our wedding was semiarranged by our parents. We met only once, surrounded by family, before getting engaged, and only a handful of times before our wedding day...
Aisha Saeed's Written in the Stars follows the story of Naila Rehman, a Pakistani-American teenager whose conservative immigrant parents have always said the same thing: she may choose anything she wants, including what she wants to study, how to wear her hair, and her future profession - but they will choose her husband. Following their cultural tradition, they will plan an arranged marriage for her. And until then, dating - or even friendship with a boy - is forbidden. Yet there's a catch in this situation: Naila is madly in love with Saif, a fellow Pakistani-American student in her high school. When their relationship is discovered by her parents, they are absolutely livid. Convinced Naila has forgotten who she truly is, her parents decide to travel to Pakistan to visit relatives and explore their roots. But Naila's vacation soon takes a horrifying turn when she finds out her parents' ulterior motives, and she is quickly caught in a vicious, inescapable nightmare without any hope of escape.
Before I begin my review, it is interesting to note that although Aisha herself was fortunate enough to find love in her arranged marriage, she chose to reveal the other side to it: penning a tale about the horror and trauma of forced marriage, some of which are brought about through coercion, pressure, threats and sometimes outright violence.
Written in the Stars has a simple, captivating writing style which grips you and makes the book impossible to put down. At the start, it reads like a vanilla contemporary: the words flowed easily, and my eyes traveled quickly over the pages. But with shocking speed, the mood of the story turns dark and ominous. Yet the author still retains her effortless storytelling style, which I practically devoured because her writing style only enhanced the pace and thrill of the book.
Part of the reason why I'm giving this five stars is because it made me feel. For those few hours, I was Naila, a young Pakistani-American girl betrayed by everyone she'd once trusted and terrified for her future. My heartbeat was constantly accelerated throughout the book, and I was devastated and anxious and so scared for Naila over the course of the story. Mostly I was so angry - that young girls were still treated like this, that their choice was taken away from them, that their dreams were crushed. But I was furious with Naila's family most of all, and I took a sort of vicious pleasure every time she refused to acknowledge her parents or ignored her mother, because they deserved it. Reading this book was a rollercoaster ride of emotions despite its deceptively simple language.
My uncle locked me in a barred room. My parents drugged me and forced me into this marriage. I didn't think anything could get worse, but today, for the first time, I know what it is like to feel completely broken.
One flaw that I did notice (which many of my friends complained about as well) was that the secondary characters were not fleshed out enough, and it was almost impossible to sympathise with them for that same reason. We weren't even given much insight into Naila's boyfriend Saif. I attributed this to the author's writing style - with all the drama and action happening, this is undoubtedly a plot-focused book, and it would be difficult to incorporate more sides to each character. The ending was also a little rushed and I will admit it was slightly unrealistic, but I enjoyed it a lot mostly because I was so relieved that everything would turn out fine for Naila.
Love is about the good moments, but it's about holding on to each other during the difficult ones too. Coming out the other side, weathered but still holding hands, isn't easy. It's the most difficult thing there can possibly be, but I know now it's the truest test of love there is. Life hasn't been easy, but it gets less painful every day, and as I look at Saif, I know that love - in its essence, at its core - is the most bittersweet thing there is.
October 27, 2015
3.75 Stars
”A life of loneliness is an awful punishment for one bad decision. We don’t want that for you. Trust us. Promise you won’t disappoint us.”
It’s Nalia’s senior year and she’s months away, scratch that days away, from heading to college with her secret boyfriend, Saif and her best friend, Carla. Nalia’s family is very strict of Pakistani descent. They have their own expectations of their only daughter. What harm could one lie to get her to the prom be?
Nalia’s family tells her a trip to Pakistan to spend time with all their extended family is just want they all need. Their stay should be only a few weeks. What happens when weeks become months and then a marriage is arranged?
”We cannot escape our destiny. There’s nothing you can do. There’s nothing I can do.”
This story is well written, well paced, and nail bitingly exciting.
I’ll be on the watch for more books this author writes, she definitely is gifted and her voice very powerful.
”If we’ve grown apart, we’ll find our way back to each other. Trust me. We will.”
”A life of loneliness is an awful punishment for one bad decision. We don’t want that for you. Trust us. Promise you won’t disappoint us.”
It’s Nalia’s senior year and she’s months away, scratch that days away, from heading to college with her secret boyfriend, Saif and her best friend, Carla. Nalia’s family is very strict of Pakistani descent. They have their own expectations of their only daughter. What harm could one lie to get her to the prom be?
Nalia’s family tells her a trip to Pakistan to spend time with all their extended family is just want they all need. Their stay should be only a few weeks. What happens when weeks become months and then a marriage is arranged?
”We cannot escape our destiny. There’s nothing you can do. There’s nothing I can do.”
This story is well written, well paced, and nail bitingly exciting.
I’ll be on the watch for more books this author writes, she definitely is gifted and her voice very powerful.
”If we’ve grown apart, we’ll find our way back to each other. Trust me. We will.”
June 5, 2019
4.5 stars. Review to come once I've collected my thoughts - all I can say is that this has officially been deemed one of my personal favorites in a long time.
______________________
Being a Pakistani myself, I'm all too well aware of some of us unfortunate souls trapped under these circumstances. (I'll admit - I have my own occasional moments where I have to battle relatives suffocating me with prospects of future arranged marriage and I'm only 17!)
Although, I feel the need to shed some positive light over this too, as it should be noted that not all cases of consensual arranged marriage end up in lifelong misery or forced adjustment, of course. There's no denying that following this line of tradition can and has (as I've witnessed firsthand) led to a remarkably successful and love-filled espousal.
Definitely interested in seeing the author's take on the matter.
______________________
Being a Pakistani myself, I'm all too well aware of some of us unfortunate souls trapped under these circumstances. (I'll admit - I have my own occasional moments where I have to battle relatives suffocating me with prospects of future arranged marriage and I'm only 17!)
Although, I feel the need to shed some positive light over this too, as it should be noted that not all cases of consensual arranged marriage end up in lifelong misery or forced adjustment, of course. There's no denying that following this line of tradition can and has (as I've witnessed firsthand) led to a remarkably successful and love-filled espousal.
Definitely interested in seeing the author's take on the matter.
June 11, 2020
Content warnings for forced marriage, domestic abuse, marital rape. There may be more but I haven’t read the book in a long time, so please refer to other reviews.
Aisha Saeed’s Written in the Stars follows the story of Naila, a Pakistani-American teenager whose parents have always told her that she is free to be who she wants to be; she can choose what she wants to study, her profession in the future, what she wears and how she does her hair. But when it comes to marriage- when it comes to choosing a husband, her parents will make that decision for her. But here’s the problem: Naila’s madly in love with Saif, a fellow Pakistani-American student in her high school. When their relationship is discovered by Naila’s family, they make the decision to take her to Pakistan so she can connect with her culture and roots. But this trip is more than just a vacation, and Naila gets caught up in vicious, grueling web almost impossible to disentangle herself from.
Written in the Stars is not an easy book to read, despite its rather vanilla start. Initially, Naila’s parents come across as unusually strict, but ultimately people who love their child. Naila’s story may seem unusual to people coming from those cultures where arranged marriage is virtually non-existent, but her parents’ behavior in the start, their feelings of “honor” and “reputation” and “shame” are so authentically portrayed. As a Pakistani myself, I felt like I was reading the life story of so many people I know. People who are free to do whatever they please, but cannot dream of falling in love and marrying who they are in love with. God, no, they couldn’t dream of dishonoring their families that way.
But this unpleasant (and pleasant, I know- it’s very confusing) sense of familiarity is shattered when the novel hits its 50% mark. Things de-escalate so steeply, so quickly that any sense of comfort is shattered. The book transforms from a vanilla contemporary to a genuinely terrifying, intense read about the extremes of arranged marriages. For those of you who do not know, arranged marriages aren’t usually forced. The parents set two people up, and the two decide if they want to marry. In most circumstances, it is done with permission and respect. Which is how it should be. But much too often are people forced into marriage through coercion, through threats and blackmail, and Written in the Stars is that type of story. Fast-paced, told with such authenticity, sensitivity and poise, it is an important, albeit difficult novel.
Moving on from the subject matter, I thought I’d talk a little about the portrayal of Pakistani culture. It’s a shame, but I’ve never read a YA novel revolving around Pakistani characters, and the familiarity was refreshing. Aisha Saeed, a Pakistan-American herself, steers clear from stereotypes while also refusing to cover up the darker parts of the culture. Her unapologetic use of cultural phrases, integrating Urdu language into her narrative and dialogue so effortlessly is something worth taking note of. Her vivid descriptions of scenery, of clothes and food, the things our characters say, their expressions and norms- everything is so spot-on.
But despite my praise of the book, I will not deny that it has its own share of problems. Firstly, I didn’t think the characters were fleshed out as fully as they could have been. I recognize that it’s difficult to do this while also maintaining the pace and thrill of the story, which leads me to believe that the book would’ve hit even harder had it been longer, had more focus been put on the characters. The ending, too, seemed rushed. I won’t say that it’s a happy ending, or a sad ending because that defeats the purpose of the suspense, but I felt it was too quick a conclusion. If it were me, I would have expanded the climax a little more. The writing also felt a little simplistic- but I felt that balanced out the darker, more complicated nature of the novel. But ultimately, Written in the Stars has more good than okay, and is a book I’d recommend to anyone.
On Culture and Empathy
This is a little bonus section I’m adding to my review. Don’t worry, there are no spoilers. I read a couple of negative reviews after completing the novel that stated that Saif and Naila’s romance was unrealistic. Their reasons for this were simply that Naila and Saif did not ‘hang out’ enough for them to have such intense feelings. While I completely understand why this thought may manifest in someone who is used to Western notions of romance, I would like to offer up my own two cents.
In many ‘conservative’ societies – places in the Middle East and South Asia – men and women don’t mingle as freely. Even if a young person’s parents lets them, you get side-glances and weird looks from people in even the most modern of areas, because that’s just what the culture is. I’m not saying it’s good- nor am I saying it’s bad, just that that’s how it is.
But no matter what you tell yourself, no matter what society wants you to be, sometimes you cannot help fall in love. I have been in a relationship for seven years – SEVEN – with a guy in Pakistan. I moved to the US almost three years ago, and since then I’ve been in a long-distance relationship. I have seen him twice since I moved, and if I were to count all the hours I’ve spent with him in the last three years, I’d say it’s less than two days. Less than two days. Does that make my feelings less valid?
Just because someone’s notion of romance and their way of staying in a relationship is different from what is the ‘norm’ in most Western cultures does not mean their feelings are invalid or weak or unrealistic. What does “realistic” or “unrealistic” in novels even mean? One person’s reality can be vastly different from another person’s and vice versa. To simply state that the romance is “unrealistic” simply because it depicts a polar opposite culture seems a little… apathetic to me.
I do not mean to disregard anyone else’s negative feelings about this book- it is a book, and thus people can have different opinions. Some of the negative reviews I read had very valid criticisms – I have criticisms too. But when it comes to calling the romance unrealistic simply because the two characters didn’t ‘hang out’ was something that bothered me, and I hope my counter-argument doesn’t come across as me trying to stifle dissent, or me invalidating someone’s opinion. That was not my intention, whatsoever.
Aisha Saeed’s Written in the Stars follows the story of Naila, a Pakistani-American teenager whose parents have always told her that she is free to be who she wants to be; she can choose what she wants to study, her profession in the future, what she wears and how she does her hair. But when it comes to marriage- when it comes to choosing a husband, her parents will make that decision for her. But here’s the problem: Naila’s madly in love with Saif, a fellow Pakistani-American student in her high school. When their relationship is discovered by Naila’s family, they make the decision to take her to Pakistan so she can connect with her culture and roots. But this trip is more than just a vacation, and Naila gets caught up in vicious, grueling web almost impossible to disentangle herself from.
Written in the Stars is not an easy book to read, despite its rather vanilla start. Initially, Naila’s parents come across as unusually strict, but ultimately people who love their child. Naila’s story may seem unusual to people coming from those cultures where arranged marriage is virtually non-existent, but her parents’ behavior in the start, their feelings of “honor” and “reputation” and “shame” are so authentically portrayed. As a Pakistani myself, I felt like I was reading the life story of so many people I know. People who are free to do whatever they please, but cannot dream of falling in love and marrying who they are in love with. God, no, they couldn’t dream of dishonoring their families that way.
But this unpleasant (and pleasant, I know- it’s very confusing) sense of familiarity is shattered when the novel hits its 50% mark. Things de-escalate so steeply, so quickly that any sense of comfort is shattered. The book transforms from a vanilla contemporary to a genuinely terrifying, intense read about the extremes of arranged marriages. For those of you who do not know, arranged marriages aren’t usually forced. The parents set two people up, and the two decide if they want to marry. In most circumstances, it is done with permission and respect. Which is how it should be. But much too often are people forced into marriage through coercion, through threats and blackmail, and Written in the Stars is that type of story. Fast-paced, told with such authenticity, sensitivity and poise, it is an important, albeit difficult novel.
Moving on from the subject matter, I thought I’d talk a little about the portrayal of Pakistani culture. It’s a shame, but I’ve never read a YA novel revolving around Pakistani characters, and the familiarity was refreshing. Aisha Saeed, a Pakistan-American herself, steers clear from stereotypes while also refusing to cover up the darker parts of the culture. Her unapologetic use of cultural phrases, integrating Urdu language into her narrative and dialogue so effortlessly is something worth taking note of. Her vivid descriptions of scenery, of clothes and food, the things our characters say, their expressions and norms- everything is so spot-on.
But despite my praise of the book, I will not deny that it has its own share of problems. Firstly, I didn’t think the characters were fleshed out as fully as they could have been. I recognize that it’s difficult to do this while also maintaining the pace and thrill of the story, which leads me to believe that the book would’ve hit even harder had it been longer, had more focus been put on the characters. The ending, too, seemed rushed. I won’t say that it’s a happy ending, or a sad ending because that defeats the purpose of the suspense, but I felt it was too quick a conclusion. If it were me, I would have expanded the climax a little more. The writing also felt a little simplistic- but I felt that balanced out the darker, more complicated nature of the novel. But ultimately, Written in the Stars has more good than okay, and is a book I’d recommend to anyone.
On Culture and Empathy
This is a little bonus section I’m adding to my review. Don’t worry, there are no spoilers. I read a couple of negative reviews after completing the novel that stated that Saif and Naila’s romance was unrealistic. Their reasons for this were simply that Naila and Saif did not ‘hang out’ enough for them to have such intense feelings. While I completely understand why this thought may manifest in someone who is used to Western notions of romance, I would like to offer up my own two cents.
In many ‘conservative’ societies – places in the Middle East and South Asia – men and women don’t mingle as freely. Even if a young person’s parents lets them, you get side-glances and weird looks from people in even the most modern of areas, because that’s just what the culture is. I’m not saying it’s good- nor am I saying it’s bad, just that that’s how it is.
But no matter what you tell yourself, no matter what society wants you to be, sometimes you cannot help fall in love. I have been in a relationship for seven years – SEVEN – with a guy in Pakistan. I moved to the US almost three years ago, and since then I’ve been in a long-distance relationship. I have seen him twice since I moved, and if I were to count all the hours I’ve spent with him in the last three years, I’d say it’s less than two days. Less than two days. Does that make my feelings less valid?
Just because someone’s notion of romance and their way of staying in a relationship is different from what is the ‘norm’ in most Western cultures does not mean their feelings are invalid or weak or unrealistic. What does “realistic” or “unrealistic” in novels even mean? One person’s reality can be vastly different from another person’s and vice versa. To simply state that the romance is “unrealistic” simply because it depicts a polar opposite culture seems a little… apathetic to me.
I do not mean to disregard anyone else’s negative feelings about this book- it is a book, and thus people can have different opinions. Some of the negative reviews I read had very valid criticisms – I have criticisms too. But when it comes to calling the romance unrealistic simply because the two characters didn’t ‘hang out’ was something that bothered me, and I hope my counter-argument doesn’t come across as me trying to stifle dissent, or me invalidating someone’s opinion. That was not my intention, whatsoever.
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December 22, 2020
It didn't give me the impact that it was supposed to give. Otherwise the plot is okay, the characters are ok. But yes, the character development needs improvement. I found the ending a bit underwhelming.
December 1, 2017
Rating: 4.5/5
This review is probably going to be a jumble of thoughts because this book hit me really hard (much harder than I was expecting) and I'm still reeling from it.
Although I'm not Pakistani like the characters of Written in the Stars, coming from a South Asian background means that I have been exposed to arranged marriages all my life. For the most part, like Aisha Saeed mentions in her Author's Note, they are positive and consensual and growing up in Australia, these are the sort of arranged marriages I have mainly been exposed to. I think I was quite sheltered from the awful reality it can be for some and so this book was such a powerful read for me.
We follow our protagonist Naila as she forced to go on a holiday to Pakistan to reconnect with her roots, after her incredibly strict parents find out that she has a secret boyfriend. Little does she know, this trip isn't merely a holiday and her life is about to change completely. From there develops a, quite frankly, terrifying tale about the reality for some women living in South Asian countries and the culture pressures and norms around marriage.
Whilst this book was a really fast read with quite simple and unembellished writing, it was so emotionally heavy at the same time and I connected and empathised with Naila constantly throughout the book - I honestly felt my heart physically hurt for her at times.
This is such an important book that I think you should all read. Keep in mind that this is but one story about arranged marriage and a lot of them are no where near this traumatic. However, it is a reality and I applaud Aisha Saeed for bringing some light upon it.
This review is probably going to be a jumble of thoughts because this book hit me really hard (much harder than I was expecting) and I'm still reeling from it.
Although I'm not Pakistani like the characters of Written in the Stars, coming from a South Asian background means that I have been exposed to arranged marriages all my life. For the most part, like Aisha Saeed mentions in her Author's Note, they are positive and consensual and growing up in Australia, these are the sort of arranged marriages I have mainly been exposed to. I think I was quite sheltered from the awful reality it can be for some and so this book was such a powerful read for me.
We follow our protagonist Naila as she forced to go on a holiday to Pakistan to reconnect with her roots, after her incredibly strict parents find out that she has a secret boyfriend. Little does she know, this trip isn't merely a holiday and her life is about to change completely. From there develops a, quite frankly, terrifying tale about the reality for some women living in South Asian countries and the culture pressures and norms around marriage.
Whilst this book was a really fast read with quite simple and unembellished writing, it was so emotionally heavy at the same time and I connected and empathised with Naila constantly throughout the book - I honestly felt my heart physically hurt for her at times.
This is such an important book that I think you should all read. Keep in mind that this is but one story about arranged marriage and a lot of them are no where near this traumatic. However, it is a reality and I applaud Aisha Saeed for bringing some light upon it.
April 16, 2016
When I was twenty-two years old, I married the love of my life. Both Pakistani-Americans raised in traditional families, our wedding was semiarranged by our parents. We met only once, surrounded by family, before getting engaged, and only a handful of times before our wedding day.
~ Author's Note
Yes, your eyes are not playing tricks on you: This is a quote from the author herself, not the protagonist. I believe this to be very important because it sheds light on what was important to the author, what message she wanted to bring across.
This book is not about assessing whether arranged marriages are bad or not. It’s about the right to choose. And if you decide to let your parents pick someone suitable for you, it’s still your choice. Naila did not get to voice her opinion, and that’s the core of this book.
Naila is a sympathetic young character with dreams beyond the cages of her strict upbringing; she has a boyfriend, Saif, and she has just been accepted into medical school. Naturally, her secret relationship with Saif does not remain hidden from her parents. Determined to bring Naila back to her roots (because having a boyfriend is too "American" in her parents’ opinion), the family travels to Pakistan to visit their relatives in the aftermath of the been-busted-at-prom-in-the-arms-of-my-secret-bf disaster. It takes Naila a long time (several delays of flying back to the US) to figure out that she is not meeting all these friends of her parents for enjoyment, but because they want to inspect her as possible future bride-material for their unmarried sons. Thereafter, her ordeal and struggle against an arranged marriage begins – an ordeal which everyone around her perceives as being Written in the Stars. Screw the stars.
The writing was raw, and it hit me right in the feels. I’m not weepy but my eyes experienced some 'increased humidity' during this read. Naila’s fate was suffocating, as in reading about her being deceived, drugged, treated like a cow for sale (for the lack of better words), and not being able to intervene. It felt as if the world had united against her, and in a way, it had.
Naila’s parents are, as far as antagonists go, the villains in this book. Although I would’ve crossed all the deserts and the Atlantic to get away from them, I do believe they loved her the best they knew how. They believed they were doing Naila a service, that she had to be brought back onto the right path. Some conservative families warm up to Western culture when moving to the US/Europe, some cling even more vigorously to their old traditions. It seems Naila’s parents belong to the latter sort.
But if you expect to read one of these books where a woman is married to a stranger, constantly abused by her husband and then forced to flee across several countries to get away from an ill-tempered bastard – well, this is not that book. The mistreatments are harsh but are mostly inflicted by her own extended family (further, the graphics in this book are very subtle, since this is a YA book, after all).
My biggest issue with this book? It’s too short. It felt like Saeed had just taken the scissors and cut through the plot at a convenient point. I turned the page to find an epilogue when I did not yet expect one. Further, the underdeveloped romance between Naila and Saif. While the main part of the story does and should focus on the arranged marriage, I think their relationship is important enough to have been given more attention.
If you decide to read this, I recommend you read it with an open heart. As I have pointed out, this is not about judgement. Not on Pakistan, not on the Middle East, not on Islam. The content of this book should concern you neither as a Christian nor a Jew, neither as an American nor a European. It should concern you as a fellow human being. It should provoke sympathy for an individual and her fate, not hatred for a culture or a religion.
Arranged marriages remain a worldwide concern, not only in less developed countries. As the author has put it, this problem presents itself as a silent epidemic.
If you or someone you know needs advice or help, please contact: The Tahirih Justice Center, Offices in Arlington, Baltimore and Houston.
~ Aisha Saeed
And now excuse me while I go hug my parents.
August 12, 2016
Review also posted at Young Adult Hollywood.
“You can choose what you want to be when you grow up, the types of shoes you want to buy, how long you want your hair to be. But your husband, that’s different. We choose your husband for you. You understand that, right?” I’ve heard this more times than I can count. The first time we had this conversation was seven years ago, when I was ten.
“What if I find him first?” I asked then.
“That’s not how it’s done,” she had said. “Just because we live in a different place doesn’t change how things should be.”
I chose this particular quote, because it embodies what Written in the Stars entails. It's a story of a teenage girl who had her voice, life, and freedom taken away from her.
If you’re looking for something fluffy. I am warning you, this is not the book for you. This is a common tale that goes unwritten and unspoken. Something that thousands of women and young girls find themselves facing everyday.
Saeed gracefully introduced us to the Pakistani culture with its fine traditions, wonderful food, picturesque lands, and colorful
dresses.
In addition, Written in the Stars explore the struggles of living in America while connecting with your roots and trying to make a room for yourself to grow on your own.
It was relatively easy to get lost in this book.
The terror, anguish, and loneliness. It was handle with so much heart and realism. I ache everywhere.
I only have two conclusion after I finished reading Written in the Stars. This is the book I would heartily shove in everyone’s throat. And this story would stay within me for a very long time, maybe even forever.
Without doubt, this would open a lot of doors for plenty of women. Perhaps, more stories like these should not go unnoticed. What a powerful, and life changing read. Thank you to Aisha Saeed for bravely sharing this story with us.
Tip: The Author’s Note was so touching. Go buy it, everyone.
“You can choose what you want to be when you grow up, the types of shoes you want to buy, how long you want your hair to be. But your husband, that’s different. We choose your husband for you. You understand that, right?” I’ve heard this more times than I can count. The first time we had this conversation was seven years ago, when I was ten.
“What if I find him first?” I asked then.
“That’s not how it’s done,” she had said. “Just because we live in a different place doesn’t change how things should be.”
I chose this particular quote, because it embodies what Written in the Stars entails. It's a story of a teenage girl who had her voice, life, and freedom taken away from her.
If you’re looking for something fluffy. I am warning you, this is not the book for you. This is a common tale that goes unwritten and unspoken. Something that thousands of women and young girls find themselves facing everyday.
Saeed gracefully introduced us to the Pakistani culture with its fine traditions, wonderful food, picturesque lands, and colorful
dresses.
In addition, Written in the Stars explore the struggles of living in America while connecting with your roots and trying to make a room for yourself to grow on your own.
It was relatively easy to get lost in this book.
The terror, anguish, and loneliness. It was handle with so much heart and realism. I ache everywhere.
I only have two conclusion after I finished reading Written in the Stars. This is the book I would heartily shove in everyone’s throat. And this story would stay within me for a very long time, maybe even forever.
Without doubt, this would open a lot of doors for plenty of women. Perhaps, more stories like these should not go unnoticed. What a powerful, and life changing read. Thank you to Aisha Saeed for bravely sharing this story with us.
Tip: The Author’s Note was so touching. Go buy it, everyone.
May 10, 2018
I was physically shaking during a large portion of my reading of this book out of anger, sadness, and stress. Aisha Saeed does an incredible job of making the reader feel the weight of Naila's story. This was an incredible story I'm glad I finally picked up.
June 7, 2023
It’s very hard to review this book because there are just so so many ways to look at this story.
As a desi, I think it’s so important for us to see representation, and as a desi from an upper middle class family, I can tell it’s important to talk about the kind of horrors that some arranged marriages can cause in small villages in Pakistan. But as a reader of international fiction, I worry about what the non-Pakistani reader takes away about our country from this novel: do they believe all Pakistanis are intolerant of love marriages and willing to drug girls into saying yes? And in continuing this conversation, isn’t it upon the reader to not expect a book to represent everything about a country, in all of its complexities and contradictions? Is the author to blame if our country is not publishing enough fiction to represent all the different ways of living in Pakistan there are?
And even more: does this book do a good job in representing how helpless girls can be in the face of overwhelming sexism and patriarchy? Or is its heroine a weak character, resigned to her status until the hero swoops in to save her? Is Naila naïve and poorly drawn, or does she represent innocence and a hope that things will get better? Does the short page length keep the reader hooked, or is it a disservice to not give more depth and time to such an important topic?
All these questions and more are worth discussing, but I think what’s most important is that a book like this exists in the first place. While arranged marriage versus love marriage is a pretty old argument which has been rehashed countless times, some aspects of it – the complete lack of agency some girls can have in these situations – are still significant because things like honour killing still exist.
“Life is full of sadness. It’s part of being a woman. Our lives are lived for the sake of others. Our happiness is never factored in.”
Our protagonist in this story is Naila, a Pakistani American teenager in her last year of high school – good lord she is so YOUNG – who is part of a very conventionally desi household. She has to attend lunches her brother gets to skip, she might be two years older but her 15-year-old brother gets the driving lessons, and so on. But these are injustices most desi girls learn to swallow because that’s just the way things are. Soon Naila will be going away to college, something she looks forwards to because she will finally be able to spend time properly with her boyfriend Saif.
I hate keeping secrets from her. But how can I explain that I see the world a little differently and my way of looking at the world isn’t bad, not if it means their daughter has found someone she loves, someone who makes her completely and unbelievably happy?
For Naila’s parents, the idea that Naila could conceivably have a boyfriend is beyond the realms of possibility. This particular aspect of the story felt very true to life, because most Pakistani parents are like this. I say most, because there is great variation amongst the types, of course. Some might not care at all, or might actually encourage their children to find their potential partners, while others are ready to kill their own children who dare to fall in love without parental permission.
“You can choose what you want to be when you grow up, the types of shoes you want to buy, how long you want your hair to be. But your husband, that’s different. We choose your husband for you.”
This obsession with marriage might seem weird to a person who hasn’t grown up in this culture, but in desi communities or Islamic ones (and the crisscross between these two is too tangled up to properly make clear, even to our own communities) marriage is seen as a representation of community, of good will. A marriage doesn’t only bring the bride and groom together but also their families. Joint living systems encourage more than two people to have stakes in the marriage, with elders considering it their responsibility to solve disputes, and daughters seen as representations of the family honour. In such settings, it is the right of the elders to choose who will marry whom amongst the young, since the young are considered too naïve and inexperienced to make such a decision on their own. Questioning this system isn’t encouraged.
“My parents knew it was a good match, and they were right. You’ve seen others, your third cousin Roohi, who chose not to listen. Look at her now, divorced with young children. Her parents can’t even leave their home without hanging their heads in shame. Who wants to marry her now?”
I repeat again, this is not true for all families. I know people personally who fell in love, introduced their parents to their respective choices, and are happily married now. I know people whose marriage arranged by their elders fell apart. All these various digressions show that it is the people in the marriage who ultimately matter. But the idea that love marriages end in ruin and unhappiness while arranged marriages lead to ultimate bliss is too strongly entrenched in the Pakistani mindset for it to be shaken by a few youthful ideas.
It is precisely these kind of ideas that lead Naila and Saif to believe that things between them can work out. Unfortunately for the reader, this young relationship isn’t as strong as one could hope. I never shipped these two, and neither did I feel the passion and excitement Naila feels when it comes to Saif. For someone whose existence is the catalyst for this book’s conflict, Saif remains a blurry, vague figure whose only purpose is to want to be with Naila.
“They think there’s only one way to do things because it’s all they ever knew, but they’re not bad people, Saif. They can be reasoned with. One day we’ll show them there’s another way to look at all of this.”
Naila is convinced that she can reason with her parents, that she can convince them to give Saif a chance. Things fall apart when she sneaks away to prom, where she’s promptly caught by her parents, dancing in Saif’s arms. Horrified and disgusted, they drag her back home.
“Boyfriend?” he yells. “My daughter has a boyfriend?” His words reverberate through the house. They shake the walls. I shudder. Boyfriend is a dirty, shameful word.
I vividly remember a time when one of my friends told me that when her mother discovered she had a boyfriend, she slapped her. For my friends and me, corporal punishment was a distant reality. Our parents had never raised their hands on us, and we always believed they never would. But for my friend’s mother, the real life existence of her young daughter’s boyfriend had been a turning point. Moments like those are representative, because they teach you that some issues are bigger than your imagination could conceive. Even though for years and years we are told to sit properly and not laugh loudly and stay away from boys because boys will be boys and it is on girls to protect themselves, the misogyny of Pakistani society is still hard to digest in all its extremes.
“For generations my family lived in this village. People looked up to us. They came to us to resolve their disputes. And now? The respect we built up over the generations, you are trying to ruin all of it!”
Naila’s decision to fall in love with or marry whoever she likes is a representation of her disobeying her parent’s complete authority over her, which is the one thing some families cannot stand. Parental control, a girl’s submissiveness, her lack of interest in her own sexual activity, exhibiting no desires, all these things are tightly bound within the circles of honour. Of course, this is not only the case in Pakistani society but in traditional family norms all over the world, but it is true that we have lesser tolerance for when these circles of honour are broken. Honour killings – known locally as Karo Kari and which anywhere else would be called plain murder – have their name for a reason. In cases repeated again and again and again, we find that women who dare to disobey traditional norms or who attempt to control their own destiny in sexuality, love, and marriage are rejected and killed in brutal ways. In many cases the killer(s) stand unapologetic and even proud, saying that the women’s death is what has restored honour to her family.
“We love you. We want what’s best for you. If we see you doing wrong, we have to stop you. Even if you hate us, and I know you do right now, one day, you will see we did what was best for you. That is what we have always tried to do.”
Admittedly, this book takes the route of the extreme in showing how horrible arranged marriages can be. As someone who’s been happily married through the same arranged route, I can say that not all of them are horrible and vicious. A million examples exist around me which refute the statement that all arranged marriages are deadly, but that still doesn’t deny the fact that the opposite of an arranged marriage is viewed with horror and derision, and in some cases as a reasonable cause of murder. Those who dare to marry for love may not always end up killed, but there’s still the societal stigma to face, having to contend with your parents’ disappointment, and the oft-quoted criticism of a marriage made for love: ‘if things go wrong, who will you blame but yourself?’ The logic being, of course, that in an arranged marriage you’ll still be miserable if it doesn’t work out, but at least you’ll have the savage satisfaction of saying that your misery was other people’s doing.
What it all comes down to, in the end, is in the degree of consent of both the parties involved. In the real life situations I have seen, parents are the ones who pick their children’s prospective others, but then these children have the agency to meet these people and talk to them. These kids had the right to say no, and they exercised it, and so what we are witnessing in this book is a subset of the arranged marriage formula which we can call the forced marriage. Unfortunately for us, how this book fails is in showing Naila’s arranged marriage, one which has been thoroughly and completely forced, as the only type of arranged marriage this is. What would have made this story remarkable, and much more balanced, is an example of a marriage that was arranged, but that was also happy.
“You’re gone, beta. We have to help bring you back. We’re your parents. It’s our responsibility.”
Ultimately Naila’s story is one of agency, and who has it, and who doesn’t. We all of us exercise our agency to an extent and in different ways every day, testing the boundaries which limit us. Sadly enough, even the ‘good’ characters in this book are those who tell her heroine that she must learn to bear the unhappiness of her marriage. Selma, a cousin Naila’s age, tells Naila that she must learn to move on after her forced marriage, while Faiza, a sympathetic sister-in-law, only goes as far as to pat Naila on the head and say something along the lines of “I know it’s tough, but what can one do?”
“Do I want this life? Living here and seeing my husband a few times a year, raising my daughter alone? I don’t know what it was like for you in America, but this is how life is. This is reality.”
When the characters depicted as good do nothing more than accept the system, it makes the situation appear all the more unfair. Unfortunately, such a thing happening would be pretty common in Pakistan, where even those who mean well are unable to understand how such an entrenched system of patriarchy can be fought against.
“It’s good to accept what is. I try not to dwell on what I don’t have. When you get married, things change. I’ve learned over time to accept this.”
In a book that depicts any and every character as being ruthless when it comes to support for arranged marriages, it would have been nice to see people representing the opposite end of the spectrum. The only proponents of the love marriage, Saif’s parents, barely appear for half a page, and are rushed through quickly. In fact, almost all the characters in this book rest solidly on the negative side of the misogyny scale. Not even one major character, with the sole exception of Saif, who’s in it for his own interest, believes that what has happened to Naila is wrong. Within this book of one-dimensional characters, it is ironically Naila’s husband who proves to be the most complex.
“If you think I want this, I don’t. How can I be happy when my wife finds me repulsive? When she will never trust me again? But what can I do? Not only would your life be in danger, we would bring shame to both our families.”
Amin is one of the good guys, but he’s also most definitely a bad guy. Unaware that Naila has been forced into her marriage, he is both upset at her lack of response to his presence, and eager to please Naila in any way he can. He is both charming and considerate in the beginning, giving Naila her space, protecting her from his mother’s slow-boiling wrath. In Pakistan, sons are the apples of their mother’s eyes, and for most mothers it is their daughter-in-law’s rightful place to worship the ground their husbands walk upon. In this case, Naila’s mother-in-law is horrified by Naila’s unending defiance of these societal norms, and determined to make her crack.
It is in these situations that Amin is the hero. But once he finds out how Naila was forced into this marriage, he falls back on the ‘divorce is shame’ route. And while he can be defended for being a product of his times, he is still more complex than other characters
In conclusion, a friend of mine asked me why I so vehemently argued against arranged marriages if I myself had gone through the same process. My response was that I’m for the system when it’s a system the girl chooses. For me, the arranged marriage route was convenient because I was too lazy to find someone on my own and too busy to take out time to do just that. For me, it was easier for my parents to find someone for me whom I could later meet and approve of. It was an arranged marriage, done with the consent of both the parties involved. But in places where the girl, after expressing a desire to marry someone of her own choice, is shunned, violated and beaten, in cases of honour killing and excessive parental control and the direct co-relation of a family’s esteem with a girl’s virginity, I find that I’m not such a proponent after all. That is what one would call a forced marriage. It all comes down to the amount of agency we give our girls, and this book shows that in the majority of places in Pakistan, we still don’t give them enough, or even a little. So this might be a weak book, but it’s an important conversation starter, and for that it goes on the recommended list.
***
I review Pakistani Fiction, and talk about Pakistani fiction, and want to talk to people who like to talk about fiction (Pakistani and otherwise, take your pick.) To read more reviews or just contact me so you can talk about books, check out my Blog or follow me on Twitter!
As a desi, I think it’s so important for us to see representation, and as a desi from an upper middle class family, I can tell it’s important to talk about the kind of horrors that some arranged marriages can cause in small villages in Pakistan. But as a reader of international fiction, I worry about what the non-Pakistani reader takes away about our country from this novel: do they believe all Pakistanis are intolerant of love marriages and willing to drug girls into saying yes? And in continuing this conversation, isn’t it upon the reader to not expect a book to represent everything about a country, in all of its complexities and contradictions? Is the author to blame if our country is not publishing enough fiction to represent all the different ways of living in Pakistan there are?
And even more: does this book do a good job in representing how helpless girls can be in the face of overwhelming sexism and patriarchy? Or is its heroine a weak character, resigned to her status until the hero swoops in to save her? Is Naila naïve and poorly drawn, or does she represent innocence and a hope that things will get better? Does the short page length keep the reader hooked, or is it a disservice to not give more depth and time to such an important topic?
All these questions and more are worth discussing, but I think what’s most important is that a book like this exists in the first place. While arranged marriage versus love marriage is a pretty old argument which has been rehashed countless times, some aspects of it – the complete lack of agency some girls can have in these situations – are still significant because things like honour killing still exist.
“Life is full of sadness. It’s part of being a woman. Our lives are lived for the sake of others. Our happiness is never factored in.”
Our protagonist in this story is Naila, a Pakistani American teenager in her last year of high school – good lord she is so YOUNG – who is part of a very conventionally desi household. She has to attend lunches her brother gets to skip, she might be two years older but her 15-year-old brother gets the driving lessons, and so on. But these are injustices most desi girls learn to swallow because that’s just the way things are. Soon Naila will be going away to college, something she looks forwards to because she will finally be able to spend time properly with her boyfriend Saif.
I hate keeping secrets from her. But how can I explain that I see the world a little differently and my way of looking at the world isn’t bad, not if it means their daughter has found someone she loves, someone who makes her completely and unbelievably happy?
For Naila’s parents, the idea that Naila could conceivably have a boyfriend is beyond the realms of possibility. This particular aspect of the story felt very true to life, because most Pakistani parents are like this. I say most, because there is great variation amongst the types, of course. Some might not care at all, or might actually encourage their children to find their potential partners, while others are ready to kill their own children who dare to fall in love without parental permission.
“You can choose what you want to be when you grow up, the types of shoes you want to buy, how long you want your hair to be. But your husband, that’s different. We choose your husband for you.”
This obsession with marriage might seem weird to a person who hasn’t grown up in this culture, but in desi communities or Islamic ones (and the crisscross between these two is too tangled up to properly make clear, even to our own communities) marriage is seen as a representation of community, of good will. A marriage doesn’t only bring the bride and groom together but also their families. Joint living systems encourage more than two people to have stakes in the marriage, with elders considering it their responsibility to solve disputes, and daughters seen as representations of the family honour. In such settings, it is the right of the elders to choose who will marry whom amongst the young, since the young are considered too naïve and inexperienced to make such a decision on their own. Questioning this system isn’t encouraged.
“My parents knew it was a good match, and they were right. You’ve seen others, your third cousin Roohi, who chose not to listen. Look at her now, divorced with young children. Her parents can’t even leave their home without hanging their heads in shame. Who wants to marry her now?”
I repeat again, this is not true for all families. I know people personally who fell in love, introduced their parents to their respective choices, and are happily married now. I know people whose marriage arranged by their elders fell apart. All these various digressions show that it is the people in the marriage who ultimately matter. But the idea that love marriages end in ruin and unhappiness while arranged marriages lead to ultimate bliss is too strongly entrenched in the Pakistani mindset for it to be shaken by a few youthful ideas.
It is precisely these kind of ideas that lead Naila and Saif to believe that things between them can work out. Unfortunately for the reader, this young relationship isn’t as strong as one could hope. I never shipped these two, and neither did I feel the passion and excitement Naila feels when it comes to Saif. For someone whose existence is the catalyst for this book’s conflict, Saif remains a blurry, vague figure whose only purpose is to want to be with Naila.
“They think there’s only one way to do things because it’s all they ever knew, but they’re not bad people, Saif. They can be reasoned with. One day we’ll show them there’s another way to look at all of this.”
Naila is convinced that she can reason with her parents, that she can convince them to give Saif a chance. Things fall apart when she sneaks away to prom, where she’s promptly caught by her parents, dancing in Saif’s arms. Horrified and disgusted, they drag her back home.
“Boyfriend?” he yells. “My daughter has a boyfriend?” His words reverberate through the house. They shake the walls. I shudder. Boyfriend is a dirty, shameful word.
I vividly remember a time when one of my friends told me that when her mother discovered she had a boyfriend, she slapped her. For my friends and me, corporal punishment was a distant reality. Our parents had never raised their hands on us, and we always believed they never would. But for my friend’s mother, the real life existence of her young daughter’s boyfriend had been a turning point. Moments like those are representative, because they teach you that some issues are bigger than your imagination could conceive. Even though for years and years we are told to sit properly and not laugh loudly and stay away from boys because boys will be boys and it is on girls to protect themselves, the misogyny of Pakistani society is still hard to digest in all its extremes.
“For generations my family lived in this village. People looked up to us. They came to us to resolve their disputes. And now? The respect we built up over the generations, you are trying to ruin all of it!”
Naila’s decision to fall in love with or marry whoever she likes is a representation of her disobeying her parent’s complete authority over her, which is the one thing some families cannot stand. Parental control, a girl’s submissiveness, her lack of interest in her own sexual activity, exhibiting no desires, all these things are tightly bound within the circles of honour. Of course, this is not only the case in Pakistani society but in traditional family norms all over the world, but it is true that we have lesser tolerance for when these circles of honour are broken. Honour killings – known locally as Karo Kari and which anywhere else would be called plain murder – have their name for a reason. In cases repeated again and again and again, we find that women who dare to disobey traditional norms or who attempt to control their own destiny in sexuality, love, and marriage are rejected and killed in brutal ways. In many cases the killer(s) stand unapologetic and even proud, saying that the women’s death is what has restored honour to her family.
“We love you. We want what’s best for you. If we see you doing wrong, we have to stop you. Even if you hate us, and I know you do right now, one day, you will see we did what was best for you. That is what we have always tried to do.”
Admittedly, this book takes the route of the extreme in showing how horrible arranged marriages can be. As someone who’s been happily married through the same arranged route, I can say that not all of them are horrible and vicious. A million examples exist around me which refute the statement that all arranged marriages are deadly, but that still doesn’t deny the fact that the opposite of an arranged marriage is viewed with horror and derision, and in some cases as a reasonable cause of murder. Those who dare to marry for love may not always end up killed, but there’s still the societal stigma to face, having to contend with your parents’ disappointment, and the oft-quoted criticism of a marriage made for love: ‘if things go wrong, who will you blame but yourself?’ The logic being, of course, that in an arranged marriage you’ll still be miserable if it doesn’t work out, but at least you’ll have the savage satisfaction of saying that your misery was other people’s doing.
What it all comes down to, in the end, is in the degree of consent of both the parties involved. In the real life situations I have seen, parents are the ones who pick their children’s prospective others, but then these children have the agency to meet these people and talk to them. These kids had the right to say no, and they exercised it, and so what we are witnessing in this book is a subset of the arranged marriage formula which we can call the forced marriage. Unfortunately for us, how this book fails is in showing Naila’s arranged marriage, one which has been thoroughly and completely forced, as the only type of arranged marriage this is. What would have made this story remarkable, and much more balanced, is an example of a marriage that was arranged, but that was also happy.
“You’re gone, beta. We have to help bring you back. We’re your parents. It’s our responsibility.”
Ultimately Naila’s story is one of agency, and who has it, and who doesn’t. We all of us exercise our agency to an extent and in different ways every day, testing the boundaries which limit us. Sadly enough, even the ‘good’ characters in this book are those who tell her heroine that she must learn to bear the unhappiness of her marriage. Selma, a cousin Naila’s age, tells Naila that she must learn to move on after her forced marriage, while Faiza, a sympathetic sister-in-law, only goes as far as to pat Naila on the head and say something along the lines of “I know it’s tough, but what can one do?”
“Do I want this life? Living here and seeing my husband a few times a year, raising my daughter alone? I don’t know what it was like for you in America, but this is how life is. This is reality.”
When the characters depicted as good do nothing more than accept the system, it makes the situation appear all the more unfair. Unfortunately, such a thing happening would be pretty common in Pakistan, where even those who mean well are unable to understand how such an entrenched system of patriarchy can be fought against.
“It’s good to accept what is. I try not to dwell on what I don’t have. When you get married, things change. I’ve learned over time to accept this.”
In a book that depicts any and every character as being ruthless when it comes to support for arranged marriages, it would have been nice to see people representing the opposite end of the spectrum. The only proponents of the love marriage, Saif’s parents, barely appear for half a page, and are rushed through quickly. In fact, almost all the characters in this book rest solidly on the negative side of the misogyny scale. Not even one major character, with the sole exception of Saif, who’s in it for his own interest, believes that what has happened to Naila is wrong. Within this book of one-dimensional characters, it is ironically Naila’s husband who proves to be the most complex.
“If you think I want this, I don’t. How can I be happy when my wife finds me repulsive? When she will never trust me again? But what can I do? Not only would your life be in danger, we would bring shame to both our families.”
Amin is one of the good guys, but he’s also most definitely a bad guy. Unaware that Naila has been forced into her marriage, he is both upset at her lack of response to his presence, and eager to please Naila in any way he can. He is both charming and considerate in the beginning, giving Naila her space, protecting her from his mother’s slow-boiling wrath. In Pakistan, sons are the apples of their mother’s eyes, and for most mothers it is their daughter-in-law’s rightful place to worship the ground their husbands walk upon. In this case, Naila’s mother-in-law is horrified by Naila’s unending defiance of these societal norms, and determined to make her crack.
It is in these situations that Amin is the hero. But once he finds out how Naila was forced into this marriage, he falls back on the ‘divorce is shame’ route. And while he can be defended for being a product of his times, he is still more complex than other characters
In conclusion, a friend of mine asked me why I so vehemently argued against arranged marriages if I myself had gone through the same process. My response was that I’m for the system when it’s a system the girl chooses. For me, the arranged marriage route was convenient because I was too lazy to find someone on my own and too busy to take out time to do just that. For me, it was easier for my parents to find someone for me whom I could later meet and approve of. It was an arranged marriage, done with the consent of both the parties involved. But in places where the girl, after expressing a desire to marry someone of her own choice, is shunned, violated and beaten, in cases of honour killing and excessive parental control and the direct co-relation of a family’s esteem with a girl’s virginity, I find that I’m not such a proponent after all. That is what one would call a forced marriage. It all comes down to the amount of agency we give our girls, and this book shows that in the majority of places in Pakistan, we still don’t give them enough, or even a little. So this might be a weak book, but it’s an important conversation starter, and for that it goes on the recommended list.
***
I review Pakistani Fiction, and talk about Pakistani fiction, and want to talk to people who like to talk about fiction (Pakistani and otherwise, take your pick.) To read more reviews or just contact me so you can talk about books, check out my Blog or follow me on Twitter!
October 15, 2015
You can chooses many things. You can choose what you want to be when you grow up, the types of shoes you want to buy, how long you want your hair to be. But your husband, that's different. We choose your husband for you. You understand that, right?
Nope, I don't! But Naila does, deep down, she keeps trying to break the barrier of this mind-set, struggling to create cracks in this one rule that governs her life since she was ten years of age. But to no avail! The mind-set is as tough as the law of gravity and Naila finds herself facing a plethora of troubles when she tries to go against this rule.
All characters are drawn well. Naila, the central character, is a bird trapped in a golden cage. As a daughter, her character is obedient and respectful but as an individual, she is determined to make her choices. Naila's parents are the stereotypical parents who believe that as wise elders, they've the right to choose their daughter's better half and so they see their actions as justified.
The plot is swift and fast-paced. The author doesn't waste any time by lingering on any unwanted details and delivers her story in a good and clear language.
The novel is set in rural Pakistan within the boundaries of an ultra-conservative family. All aspects of a village culture- the lifestyle, dressing, food, beverages, et cetera are brilliantly covered.
Even though this is a love story yet it is more theme-driven. The area it focuses is forced marriages. Unfortunately, the plague of such marriages against will is deeply enrooted in many parts of the world and knows no boundaries of country, race or religion. Naila is just one victim of this narrow-mindset and her story is significant because she is the representative of such girls going through such unfairness.
Having said all this, I had 2 major issues with the novel
Firstly, weak emotions. In an emotional novel such as this, I expected to cry a river, as was the case in A Thousand Splendid Suns. Except for one instance, I was hardly touched and I hardly shed a tear. So I think, the emotions were a bit weak for such a strong story.
Secondly, I did not like the chemistry brewing between Naila and Saif. Little more work on their relationship would have been splendid. Rather
Nonetheless, I recommend this book to everybody particularly the readers who appreciate a good book on a social vice. The book carries a strong message that needs to find its way to everybody's shelf.
Looking for another review? Here's Aj's wonderful review.
Nope, I don't! But Naila does, deep down, she keeps trying to break the barrier of this mind-set, struggling to create cracks in this one rule that governs her life since she was ten years of age. But to no avail! The mind-set is as tough as the law of gravity and Naila finds herself facing a plethora of troubles when she tries to go against this rule.
All characters are drawn well. Naila, the central character, is a bird trapped in a golden cage. As a daughter, her character is obedient and respectful but as an individual, she is determined to make her choices. Naila's parents are the stereotypical parents who believe that as wise elders, they've the right to choose their daughter's better half and so they see their actions as justified.
The plot is swift and fast-paced. The author doesn't waste any time by lingering on any unwanted details and delivers her story in a good and clear language.
The novel is set in rural Pakistan within the boundaries of an ultra-conservative family. All aspects of a village culture- the lifestyle, dressing, food, beverages, et cetera are brilliantly covered.
Even though this is a love story yet it is more theme-driven. The area it focuses is forced marriages. Unfortunately, the plague of such marriages against will is deeply enrooted in many parts of the world and knows no boundaries of country, race or religion. Naila is just one victim of this narrow-mindset and her story is significant because she is the representative of such girls going through such unfairness.
Having said all this, I had 2 major issues with the novel
Firstly, weak emotions. In an emotional novel such as this, I expected to cry a river, as was the case in A Thousand Splendid Suns. Except for one instance, I was hardly touched and I hardly shed a tear. So I think, the emotions were a bit weak for such a strong story.
Secondly, I did not like the chemistry brewing between Naila and Saif. Little more work on their relationship would have been splendid. Rather
Nonetheless, I recommend this book to everybody particularly the readers who appreciate a good book on a social vice. The book carries a strong message that needs to find its way to everybody's shelf.
Looking for another review? Here's Aj's wonderful review.
May 12, 2015
Oh, written in the stars
A million miles away
A message to the main, oh.
Seasons come and go
But I will never change.
And I'm on my way.
Oops sorry. I'm just singing a song I like that has the same title with this book.
Anyway, let me tell you that this book, or should I say, the characters of this book ANGERED me. Really aANGERED me. By characters, I mean not Naila (the main character) but her parents and her relatives. I just don't want to elaborate because this review I afraid will become a rant rather than a review. But, this anger just showed how much I became invested to this book that it fucked around with my emotions. I am so affected on what is happening to Naila. Everything is real and believable. If only I could transport in this book and slapped sense to her parents and relatives. Ugh ugh ugh.
It's true what the synopsis stated that this is a heart-wrenching novel. Because it is. Written in the Stars is a diverse novel that touched the culture and lifestyle of Pakistan and the way of life in America as immigrants. As an individual who has limited knowledge about countries' culture, I am glad that I learned about these, through this novel. Mainly, Written in the Stars is an eye-opener on the danger of unwanted/forced marriage. It voiced out what is need to be voiced out about this serious matter.
Life hasn’t been easy, but it gets less painful every day, and as I look at Saif, I know that love—in its essence, at its core—is the most bittersweet thing there is.
I love the hopeful ending. It depicted a kaleidoscope of feelings, not just for Naila but also for me, the reader, that there are lots of possibilities. And we intend to choose the possibilities that will benefit both sides and will make our hearts to beat in relief. At the end of the day, even if we don't forget, at least we forgive.
December 28, 2022
2.5 stars
Written In The Stars by Aisha Saeed, first published in 2015 and is author's debut novel I guess, which focuses on diversity, Pakistani - American culture, forced marriage, love, etc.
Naila, our main character, studies in American school and lives with her orthodox immigrant parents in Florida. She is forbidden to talk to any boys, but Saif has her heart and soon things start to change for her.
I've read quite a few books on Pakistani - American immigrant parents and culture, and this was no different. I understand it's not only about culture and we also see forced marriages happening across cultures and countries.
Though the book is very well written as well as holds importance in terms of what author has tried to portray through her story, but somewhere down the line I also feel showing what's positive in a particular culture is more important for reader's who aren't much clear about the particular culture or religion.
Although author has tried to show some women in this book very strong as well as family dynamics could have been better. I would prefer if authors start enlightening what's positive in a culture and not the negative.
Written In The Stars by Aisha Saeed, first published in 2015 and is author's debut novel I guess, which focuses on diversity, Pakistani - American culture, forced marriage, love, etc.
Naila, our main character, studies in American school and lives with her orthodox immigrant parents in Florida. She is forbidden to talk to any boys, but Saif has her heart and soon things start to change for her.
I've read quite a few books on Pakistani - American immigrant parents and culture, and this was no different. I understand it's not only about culture and we also see forced marriages happening across cultures and countries.
Though the book is very well written as well as holds importance in terms of what author has tried to portray through her story, but somewhere down the line I also feel showing what's positive in a particular culture is more important for reader's who aren't much clear about the particular culture or religion.
Although author has tried to show some women in this book very strong as well as family dynamics could have been better. I would prefer if authors start enlightening what's positive in a culture and not the negative.
February 10, 2017
“My mother always says when you fight destiny, destiny fights back. Some things, they're just written in the stars. You can try but you can never escape what's meant to be.”
Meet our main character Naila
A smart and beautiful young lady of 18 Years old who had almost everything figured out in her life:
• Graduating High School: Check
• Getting a scholarship for Med school: check
• Awesome BFF: Check
• Adorable boyfriend: check
Except for one small detail that will become her worst nightmare. Naila didn’t have the right to choose the love of her life because she always knew the rules:
‘‘You can choose what you want to do when you grow up, the types of shoes you want to buy, how long you want your hair to be. But your husband, that’s different. We choose your husband for you. You understand that, right?’’
No, this is not a dystopian, Stories like Naila’s happen everyday especially in the Muslim communities. Some parents think it’s okay to choose the husband of their daughter and the worst thing about it is that they actually think it is for the best.
Let me tell you why I think you should read this book:
1. Never in my life have I ever cried my eyeballs out as much as I did while reading this book. You guys don’t even understand!
2. Reading diversely is important: You’ll get so much information about a culture that you might not be familiar with, I mean some people have no idea about how arranged marriages happen and the extent of its cruelty.
3. Because I said so.
September 19, 2016
I love it when I finish a book feeling like I've learnt something new and that's exactly how I felt after finishing Written in the Stars.
This book was insightful, shocking, educational and heartbreaking. I highly recommend this to anyone wanting to expand their knowledge of different cultures and learn something new, whilst also reading a fantastic book!
Check out my full review for Written in the Stars on my blog ~ http://girlreading.co.uk/bookreviews/...
This book was insightful, shocking, educational and heartbreaking. I highly recommend this to anyone wanting to expand their knowledge of different cultures and learn something new, whilst also reading a fantastic book!
Check out my full review for Written in the Stars on my blog ~ http://girlreading.co.uk/bookreviews/...
June 20, 2017
Full review originally posted on my blog:
Word Wonders
Oh boy, I don’t know where to begin with this review. This book touched me in such deep ways that I have no clue how to put those feelings into words but I’m going to trying my hardest because I adored it and I need everyone I know, their mother, thei neighbor and their neighbor’s dog to read it. I’m even mad at myself because I’ve had it for MONTHS but for some reason haven’t picked it up, I’m grateful to Ramadan Readathon for making me pick it up though.
The writing is so simple and easy to follow that at first I thought it was too simplistic, but as I read along I realized that the book wouldn’t have worked with more intricate writing, the themes are too heavy for that. I also noticed that as the story progressed and as things got worse and the MC got more desperate and hopeless, the writing became urgent and in a horrible way, beautiful. I loved the descriptions of places, food and people, they were really vivid and animated, they made everything more tangible.
Written in the Stars isn’t a happy story, it isn’t your cute arranged marriage working out at the end. It starts off light hearted and what not but once it hits the halfway point (give or take) it becomes a nightmare, something so intense and terrifying that no one would ever want to go through. This is parents starting off as wanting to keep their honor (which is very common in non-western cultures) but who end up being deceitful, and manipulative and tricking their daughter into a marriage she never wanted and not taking no for an answer. I shudder just thinking about it and thinking about girls going through it in real life, because this is more than a book, it’s the story of hundreds of girls around the world.
This book hit me harder than I ever expected, because truth is I didn’t expect it to be as true to reality as it was. I felt trapped, and frustrated because the situation was so bad and I just read about it helplessly because everything Naila went through was horrifying. Even with the themes being so heartbreakingly realistic, I loved the way the author wrapped up the story with a hopeful, light-at-the-end-of-the-tunnel kind of ending.
Naila is such a strong, resilient character. I really, genuinely loved her and as much as I hated how much her traumatic experiences changed her, it was just what the book needed to stay true to reality (I feel like I said that a lot). At the start she was this girl who’s full of joy and who cares about the little things in life to become brutally mature. What I loved most of all is that through it all, she never lost hope in finding away out of her misery.
All the side characters felt entirely like real people. There was depth and thought put into each and every one of them and that mission was a success. One thing I have a deep appreciation for and that made me fall in love with the book even more is how nothing was sugar coated, the author depicted things as they are, as people go through them.
I know this may come as a cultural shock to people who have never been exposed to arranged marriages, but they usually aren’t forced -I feel like this needs to be specified- the two have to agree to being set up, so what’s in this book is an extreme that no one wants to ever be in. And I love how in the author’s note, Aisha reminded people of that, herself being in a happy arranged marriage. It was a nice touch to remind people that arranged =/= forced.
Oh boy, I don’t know where to begin with this review. This book touched me in such deep ways that I have no clue how to put those feelings into words but I’m going to trying my hardest because I adored it and I need everyone I know, their mother, thei neighbor and their neighbor’s dog to read it. I’m even mad at myself because I’ve had it for MONTHS but for some reason haven’t picked it up, I’m grateful to Ramadan Readathon for making me pick it up though.
The writing is so simple and easy to follow that at first I thought it was too simplistic, but as I read along I realized that the book wouldn’t have worked with more intricate writing, the themes are too heavy for that. I also noticed that as the story progressed and as things got worse and the MC got more desperate and hopeless, the writing became urgent and in a horrible way, beautiful. I loved the descriptions of places, food and people, they were really vivid and animated, they made everything more tangible.
Written in the Stars isn’t a happy story, it isn’t your cute arranged marriage working out at the end. It starts off light hearted and what not but once it hits the halfway point (give or take) it becomes a nightmare, something so intense and terrifying that no one would ever want to go through. This is parents starting off as wanting to keep their honor (which is very common in non-western cultures) but who end up being deceitful, and manipulative and tricking their daughter into a marriage she never wanted and not taking no for an answer. I shudder just thinking about it and thinking about girls going through it in real life, because this is more than a book, it’s the story of hundreds of girls around the world.
This book hit me harder than I ever expected, because truth is I didn’t expect it to be as true to reality as it was. I felt trapped, and frustrated because the situation was so bad and I just read about it helplessly because everything Naila went through was horrifying. Even with the themes being so heartbreakingly realistic, I loved the way the author wrapped up the story with a hopeful, light-at-the-end-of-the-tunnel kind of ending.
Naila is such a strong, resilient character. I really, genuinely loved her and as much as I hated how much her traumatic experiences changed her, it was just what the book needed to stay true to reality (I feel like I said that a lot). At the start she was this girl who’s full of joy and who cares about the little things in life to become brutally mature. What I loved most of all is that through it all, she never lost hope in finding away out of her misery.
All the side characters felt entirely like real people. There was depth and thought put into each and every one of them and that mission was a success. One thing I have a deep appreciation for and that made me fall in love with the book even more is how nothing was sugar coated, the author depicted things as they are, as people go through them.
I know this may come as a cultural shock to people who have never been exposed to arranged marriages, but they usually aren’t forced -I feel like this needs to be specified- the two have to agree to being set up, so what’s in this book is an extreme that no one wants to ever be in. And I love how in the author’s note, Aisha reminded people of that, herself being in a happy arranged marriage. It was a nice touch to remind people that arranged =/= forced.
August 14, 2017
Trigger warnings : rape, forced marriage, drugged against one’s will
This is probably one of the hardest books I had to read in my entire life. But also one of the most important.
My uncle locked me in a barred room. My parents drugged me and force me into this marriage. I didn’t think anything could get worse, but today, for the first time, I know what it is like to feel completely broken.
This is the story of Naila, a 18-year-old Pakistani-American, forced against her will to marry Amin. She promised her parents she will let them choose her future husband, as long as she’s able to wear what she wants, acts the way she wants, and go to College. But dating someone is forbidden. Unfortunately - or not, depends on how you see it - she falls in love with a fellow Pakistani-America, Saif, who’s deemed unworthy of her because her parents don’t approve the way he was raised. When her parents learn she’s in a relationship with Saif, they decide to go to Pakistan for the summer . . . where Naila learns she’s only there because her parents want her to marry someone, and she’s not coming back with them to America.
I know this subject is tough, and I’m glad this book is somehow #ownvoices, because even though the author’s wedding was semiarranged, she knows what she’s talking about. I wouldn’t have trusted someone else to talk about this. If you read this book, please do read the author’s note at the end, it’s very important.
I know Naila’s parents thought they were doing what’s best for their daughter, I have no doubt of that, you could see how much they loved her, but sometimes love isn’t enough, and you end up hurting the people you swore to protect. That’s what happens here. Her parents don’t know how to love her. I think it’s something every immigrant has to face at some point : a clash of cultures. You can’t expect your children - children born in this new country - to act just like you, because it’s not their culture. Children born from immigrants have to mix both cultures, and sometimes some aspects of both cultures are incompatible.
I hurt for Naila. I had to stop reading more than once because I couldn’t handle her pain. She’s been betrayed by the persons she trusted the most in this world, ‘sold’ - her words - into a marriage she didn’t want, trapped in a house she felt was like a prison . . . her pain was raw, and so real.
In reading time, it took me only two days to read this book, I really read it in two sittings, but this book triggered my anxiety so much that 9 days passed between the day I read the first half and the day I read the second half. It’s one of those books you know how important they are, so even though you feel sick just reading because the subject is really hard, you keep reading. You keep reading because they book matters.
4.5
Around the Year in 52 books 2017.
49. A book from someone else's bookshelf.
This is probably one of the hardest books I had to read in my entire life. But also one of the most important.
My uncle locked me in a barred room. My parents drugged me and force me into this marriage. I didn’t think anything could get worse, but today, for the first time, I know what it is like to feel completely broken.
This is the story of Naila, a 18-year-old Pakistani-American, forced against her will to marry Amin. She promised her parents she will let them choose her future husband, as long as she’s able to wear what she wants, acts the way she wants, and go to College. But dating someone is forbidden. Unfortunately - or not, depends on how you see it - she falls in love with a fellow Pakistani-America, Saif, who’s deemed unworthy of her because her parents don’t approve the way he was raised. When her parents learn she’s in a relationship with Saif, they decide to go to Pakistan for the summer . . . where Naila learns she’s only there because her parents want her to marry someone, and she’s not coming back with them to America.
I know this subject is tough, and I’m glad this book is somehow #ownvoices, because even though the author’s wedding was semiarranged, she knows what she’s talking about. I wouldn’t have trusted someone else to talk about this. If you read this book, please do read the author’s note at the end, it’s very important.
I know Naila’s parents thought they were doing what’s best for their daughter, I have no doubt of that, you could see how much they loved her, but sometimes love isn’t enough, and you end up hurting the people you swore to protect. That’s what happens here. Her parents don’t know how to love her. I think it’s something every immigrant has to face at some point : a clash of cultures. You can’t expect your children - children born in this new country - to act just like you, because it’s not their culture. Children born from immigrants have to mix both cultures, and sometimes some aspects of both cultures are incompatible.
I hurt for Naila. I had to stop reading more than once because I couldn’t handle her pain. She’s been betrayed by the persons she trusted the most in this world, ‘sold’ - her words - into a marriage she didn’t want, trapped in a house she felt was like a prison . . . her pain was raw, and so real.
In reading time, it took me only two days to read this book, I really read it in two sittings, but this book triggered my anxiety so much that 9 days passed between the day I read the first half and the day I read the second half. It’s one of those books you know how important they are, so even though you feel sick just reading because the subject is really hard, you keep reading. You keep reading because they book matters.
4.5
Around the Year in 52 books 2017.
49. A book from someone else's bookshelf.
May 6, 2016
I will stick to the not-gonna-rate-it decision, I think. I did not love it, I was more horrified than anything else.
This was a moving story, one I could not wrap my mind around, but maybe exactly for this reason. I could not comprehend the behaviour of Naila's aunts and uncles, the behaviour of her parents (her mother in particular), her own trust and devotion when it came to her family making decisions for her...There was a lot, okay?!
Books are often like windows and this window opened a different culture for me. I knew some minor details but never the reality of this culture, its demands and sacrifices. The author masterfully depicted the conflict between traditions of the "old world" and the fight to break free from their confines. The existing problem of forced, not arranged but really forced, marriages and how brides are sold off and treated by the new family. It also provided an insight into lives of people who live depending on rumors and the opinions of neighbours and friends, which I could relate to very well.
In my culture there are no forced marriages, or general marriage conflicts, but there is the bad bad thing called neighbours who talk. Who always talk, about everything.
But back to this story, another fantastic aspect was its diversity. No white Christian major characters. This book was from the first to the last page filled with details about a whole different culture, language, habits and traditions showing just how much the mentality of this particular culture differs from the Western or even Christian one.
This was a truly heartbreaking, sometimes downright brutal story of a girl who fought hard to keep her free will and her life, it did not fit into the pattern of the usual contemporary and this was amazing. This book awoke actual interest in Pakistan, its culture and history in me so I will probably look for some non-fiction dealing with the topic of forced marriages and the culture of this country soon.
Highly recommended for everyone, regardless of what genre you usually read, this is simply something everyone has to be aware of. This is the reality of some girls and I personally think that it is unacceptable for it to continue. Besides, it is unlike the typical contemporary book with all the diversity it provides and pretty much everyone who either is an immigrant or who has immigrant parents or grandparents will be able to relate to Naila and her inner conflict of being torn between two cultures and traditions. At least I could relate when it came to many aspects of Naila's life (not talking about the marriage here but about everything else).
This was a moving story, one I could not wrap my mind around, but maybe exactly for this reason. I could not comprehend the behaviour of Naila's aunts and uncles, the behaviour of her parents (her mother in particular), her own trust and devotion when it came to her family making decisions for her...There was a lot, okay?!
Books are often like windows and this window opened a different culture for me. I knew some minor details but never the reality of this culture, its demands and sacrifices. The author masterfully depicted the conflict between traditions of the "old world" and the fight to break free from their confines. The existing problem of forced, not arranged but really forced, marriages and how brides are sold off and treated by the new family. It also provided an insight into lives of people who live depending on rumors and the opinions of neighbours and friends, which I could relate to very well.
In my culture there are no forced marriages, or general marriage conflicts, but there is the bad bad thing called neighbours who talk. Who always talk, about everything.
But back to this story, another fantastic aspect was its diversity. No white Christian major characters. This book was from the first to the last page filled with details about a whole different culture, language, habits and traditions showing just how much the mentality of this particular culture differs from the Western or even Christian one.
This was a truly heartbreaking, sometimes downright brutal story of a girl who fought hard to keep her free will and her life, it did not fit into the pattern of the usual contemporary and this was amazing. This book awoke actual interest in Pakistan, its culture and history in me so I will probably look for some non-fiction dealing with the topic of forced marriages and the culture of this country soon.
Highly recommended for everyone, regardless of what genre you usually read, this is simply something everyone has to be aware of. This is the reality of some girls and I personally think that it is unacceptable for it to continue. Besides, it is unlike the typical contemporary book with all the diversity it provides and pretty much everyone who either is an immigrant or who has immigrant parents or grandparents will be able to relate to Naila and her inner conflict of being torn between two cultures and traditions. At least I could relate when it came to many aspects of Naila's life (not talking about the marriage here but about everything else).
March 13, 2022
THIS BOOK GAVE ME ALL THE FEELS!!
Let me start this off by affirming the fact regarding how flawlessly this book was written, I could not even put this down for a single minute.
The storyline is about a Pakistani girl who grew up in Florida who was happy with her life. Though there was one rule that she always had to follow, the "no boyfriend and guy friends". When her parents found out that she was falling in love with Saif, her parents decided to visit home for the summer before she heads off for college.
At first, they initially intended to visit Pakistan only for a few weeks, until Naila realized that her parents have a different plan for her future. She was forced to leave the man she loves back at Florida, and marry a man that her parents chose for her. Once she was forced into the arranged marriage, she was left in Pakistan while her parents went back home to Florida.
This book messed with my emotions. It was such an eye-opener that this kind of thing happens, that there are parents out there who forbid their child in making crucial life decisions, especially finding love. I know that this does not only happen in Pakistan (where the story is set), but it also happens to loads of different countries. It's just sad that there are people out there whose life decisions are dictated by their cultures, traditions, and parents, where it leads to the point where their feelings and emotions are disregarded.
What I love about this book is how despite all the tragedies, there is a way out. The hopeful ending provided faith. You just have to fight hard enough. I'm personally not against arranged marriage, I mean there could also be an upside, but like what happened with Naila, there are people who have to suffer the consequences of the cultural traditions even though they are not happy about it.
Overall, this book was such an eye-opener and I'm glad I was able to read this. It was also interesting to learn more about the culture of arranged marriage since that is something that I never really witnessed in my life (which I'm very thankful for). The romance between Naila and Said was just so heartwarming. .
This book certainly left me with life lessons, how we should keep fighting for the things we love. Even if there are obstacles on the way, we should never give up, because, in the end, we will receive the happy ending we deserve. <3
Let me start this off by affirming the fact regarding how flawlessly this book was written, I could not even put this down for a single minute.
The storyline is about a Pakistani girl who grew up in Florida who was happy with her life. Though there was one rule that she always had to follow, the "no boyfriend and guy friends". When her parents found out that she was falling in love with Saif, her parents decided to visit home for the summer before she heads off for college.
At first, they initially intended to visit Pakistan only for a few weeks, until Naila realized that her parents have a different plan for her future. She was forced to leave the man she loves back at Florida, and marry a man that her parents chose for her. Once she was forced into the arranged marriage, she was left in Pakistan while her parents went back home to Florida.
This book messed with my emotions. It was such an eye-opener that this kind of thing happens, that there are parents out there who forbid their child in making crucial life decisions, especially finding love. I know that this does not only happen in Pakistan (where the story is set), but it also happens to loads of different countries. It's just sad that there are people out there whose life decisions are dictated by their cultures, traditions, and parents, where it leads to the point where their feelings and emotions are disregarded.
What I love about this book is how despite all the tragedies, there is a way out. The hopeful ending provided faith. You just have to fight hard enough. I'm personally not against arranged marriage, I mean there could also be an upside, but like what happened with Naila, there are people who have to suffer the consequences of the cultural traditions even though they are not happy about it.
Overall, this book was such an eye-opener and I'm glad I was able to read this. It was also interesting to learn more about the culture of arranged marriage since that is something that I never really witnessed in my life (which I'm very thankful for). The romance between Naila and Said was just so heartwarming. .
This book certainly left me with life lessons, how we should keep fighting for the things we love. Even if there are obstacles on the way, we should never give up, because, in the end, we will receive the happy ending we deserve. <3
August 10, 2016
I can't believe I have read another emotional novel,when I was only preparing myself for a light read. The thing is, I was just about to peek through a few pages of this book,only to see what the story is all about.(I know that AJ recommended this to me,but I forgot that this is also an intense heart-wrecking novel).But when I started reading the first chapter,I could no longer put down the book until suddenly,I am already at the epilogue! I'm surprised that I finished it in just one sitting!^^
This book is a story of a 17 year old Pakistani-American girl who was forced to marry a young man,who she haven't even met yet and doesn't even had the slightest idea that her parents formulated this arranged marriage for her,because they believed this is the best option they can offer to her future.
The problem is,Naila is already in love with Saif, a young man who's also madly in love with her. But according to her parents,she's not suppose to love anyone or even interact with boys without her parents' approval. So just to make sure that Naila won't disobey her parents,they suddenly went off to Pakistan. What's worse is that,when they got there,all her relatives(except her cousin,Selma and her brother Imran-I love them!)plotted on her future that seemed like a prison.(What kind of love do these people,especially her parents know anyway?) JUST READ THIS AND YOU'LL SEE..
This book is totally exhilarating! It rocked me into different kind of emotions..It made me cry,it made worry,it made me so furious and angry,and most importantly..it made my eyes open to see the different cultures,traditions,beliefs and societies that are different from our own.
I want to thank my sister AJ,for recommending this book, a crisply written young adult contemporary which serves as an eye-opener to everyone.
This book is a story of a 17 year old Pakistani-American girl who was forced to marry a young man,who she haven't even met yet and doesn't even had the slightest idea that her parents formulated this arranged marriage for her,because they believed this is the best option they can offer to her future.
The problem is,Naila is already in love with Saif, a young man who's also madly in love with her. But according to her parents,she's not suppose to love anyone or even interact with boys without her parents' approval. So just to make sure that Naila won't disobey her parents,they suddenly went off to Pakistan. What's worse is that,when they got there,all her relatives(except her cousin,Selma and her brother Imran-I love them!)plotted on her future that seemed like a prison.(What kind of love do these people,especially her parents know anyway?) JUST READ THIS AND YOU'LL SEE..
This book is totally exhilarating! It rocked me into different kind of emotions..It made me cry,it made worry,it made me so furious and angry,and most importantly..it made my eyes open to see the different cultures,traditions,beliefs and societies that are different from our own.
I want to thank my sister AJ,for recommending this book, a crisply written young adult contemporary which serves as an eye-opener to everyone.
February 10, 2016
This novel captivated me from start to finish. The writing is emotionally engaging, intense at times, and purely addictive. I couldn't put this down while reading it, though sometimes I wanted to just to give my heart a break. Written in the Stars is such an eye-opening, and impactful read, and I just can't recommend this novel enough.
August 1, 2020
Written in the Stars follows Naila, who is forced into a marriage when her parents catch her with a boy.
I like that the author introduces her own notes at the end of the book. The same thing was done in Amal Unbound. It really helps frame the story. The author outlines the differences between arranged and forced marriages which I felt like was so necessary because people still don’t understand the differences between the two. It breaks my heart that girls around the world still experience forced marriages and seeing Naila’s story was actually heartbreaking. Everything that happened to her, from being forced into a marriage and separated from Saif, from being drugged to even being raped by her new husband, everything was just heartbreaking and shocking and at times, I found it hard to read this book but I pushed through because books like these are so important because they encourage you to open your eyes and recognise that although this is literature, it is also something that is happening around the world to real people.
I like the way this novel progressed, but there were so many times I felt so angry at Naila’s parents. I just couldn’t even justify their way of thinking. It was so extreme and I can’t believe that they were still justifying their actions throughout the book. Like even when Naila is forced into a marriage, her mother is still upset that Naila isn’t speaking to her when she has every right to be upset and angry with everyone. I liked how this book ended but one thing I wanted to see was the conversation between Naila and her parents right at the end of the book when she escapes and she is finally ready to see them. I wanted to see her confront her parents throughout the whole book, and although she does have a small confrontation with her mother, it wasn’t enough for me and I wanted more so it was a little disappointing that we didn’t get to see that scene in the end.
Overall, Written in the Stars is such an important book about something so heartbreaking that is still happening all around the world. But this has definitely cemented Aisha Saeed as a talented author and I will read anything she writes.
“Life is full of sadness. It’s part of being a woman. Our lives are lived for the sake of others. Our happiness is never factored in.”
I like that the author introduces her own notes at the end of the book. The same thing was done in Amal Unbound. It really helps frame the story. The author outlines the differences between arranged and forced marriages which I felt like was so necessary because people still don’t understand the differences between the two. It breaks my heart that girls around the world still experience forced marriages and seeing Naila’s story was actually heartbreaking. Everything that happened to her, from being forced into a marriage and separated from Saif, from being drugged to even being raped by her new husband, everything was just heartbreaking and shocking and at times, I found it hard to read this book but I pushed through because books like these are so important because they encourage you to open your eyes and recognise that although this is literature, it is also something that is happening around the world to real people.
“My mother always says when you fight destiny, destiny fights back. Some things, they're just written in the stars. You can try but you can never escape what's meant to be.”
I like the way this novel progressed, but there were so many times I felt so angry at Naila’s parents. I just couldn’t even justify their way of thinking. It was so extreme and I can’t believe that they were still justifying their actions throughout the book. Like even when Naila is forced into a marriage, her mother is still upset that Naila isn’t speaking to her when she has every right to be upset and angry with everyone. I liked how this book ended but one thing I wanted to see was the conversation between Naila and her parents right at the end of the book when she escapes and she is finally ready to see them. I wanted to see her confront her parents throughout the whole book, and although she does have a small confrontation with her mother, it wasn’t enough for me and I wanted more so it was a little disappointing that we didn’t get to see that scene in the end.
“Love is about the good moments, but it's about holding on to each other during the difficult ones, too. Coming out on the other side, weathered but still holding hands, isn't easy. It's the most difficult thing there can possibly be, but I know now it's the truest test of love there is.”
Overall, Written in the Stars is such an important book about something so heartbreaking that is still happening all around the world. But this has definitely cemented Aisha Saeed as a talented author and I will read anything she writes.
April 28, 2019
This is a young adult contemporary novel.
The story basically follows Naila, a Pakistani-American teenager, who is finishing off her senior year in highschool. And is really excited to go to college.
Since her parents are really conservative, they don't allow her to do a lot because they are afraid that she's gonna be making out with guys. The only rule they have is that she is not allowed to hangout with guys or date them especially.
But Naila ends up breaking that rule and has a boyfriend.
When her parents finds out about this, they completely filled out. They think that Naila is losing touch with her roots and her culture. So they decide to take her and her brother to Pakistan for the summer but it turns out that it is not just a simple family vacation, and her parents are using this as an opportunity to arrange a marriage for Naila.
So this books follows her and her family, as she tries really hard to get out of this horrible situation.
The story basically follows Naila, a Pakistani-American teenager, who is finishing off her senior year in highschool. And is really excited to go to college.
Since her parents are really conservative, they don't allow her to do a lot because they are afraid that she's gonna be making out with guys. The only rule they have is that she is not allowed to hangout with guys or date them especially.
But Naila ends up breaking that rule and has a boyfriend.
When her parents finds out about this, they completely filled out. They think that Naila is losing touch with her roots and her culture. So they decide to take her and her brother to Pakistan for the summer but it turns out that it is not just a simple family vacation, and her parents are using this as an opportunity to arrange a marriage for Naila.
So this books follows her and her family, as she tries really hard to get out of this horrible situation.
March 27, 2015
This was another one of those books where I tell myself "Sure Aila why don't you read a little before sleeping?" and I end up finishing it within a night. Sorry sleep, but this was just too good to put down. Love the characters, love the culture, and Naila is just so, so relatable. (Not just because her name is one letter from mine.)
This all starts out with Naila's senior prom, which her parents definitely wouldn't let her go to. Basically their motto is "You can focus on anything but boys." And prom is certainly a distraction with a hella lot of boys.
Turns out, Naila's parents don't really need to worry about anything because she already has a boyfriend: another Pakistani-American teen in her class named Saif. But then it turns out that they do need to worry since there's no chance they're ever getting an arranged marriage. Saif's family has been ostracized from the Pakistani community because his sister had marriage with a dude named Justin that they thought was shameful. Thus, star-crossed lovers they are.
Why wouldn't a girl want to experience her last high school dance with the love of her life, even if her parents are against it? I can certainly understand, especially since my own mother is always against me going to places. However, things take a turn for the worst when her parents find out and they ship her to a family "vacay" at Pakistan.
In Part 1, where the fam is still in America, there are so many times where I can relate to Naila, or see a friend relate.
1. SHE UNDERSTANDS FLORIDA.
My old teacher used to say that in Florida, we have two seasons: summer, and not summer. True as heck.
2. I can relate to her parent's strict values.
Granted, my parents definitely aren't as strict as Naila's.
So they're definitely on the traditional side, and I have an Indian friend whose parents are quite similar. Physically, my friend can avail herself to whatever she wants. New books? Done. New phone? Why not. But mentally, her parents can cause such a strain. Studying to get straight A's all the time and whatnot. This book shows such a good example on how oppressed children can actually be with conservative parents.
3. Parents are empathetic, too.
Aisha Saeed literally takes the words out of my mom's mouth.
Alas, their meaningful intentions result in deleterious consequences.
This quote really struck home, though, because the end just really reminds me of my mom always says. My earliest memory would probably be second grade, yelling at her for making me practice an hour of piano a day. "You will thank me one day!" She would scream back. "I am your mother, and I am only looking out for the best of you! Trust me, this is for your own good."
I can't say I haven't gained a lot from the never-ending hours of piano practice, but it still stings to think about it.
4. Apologizing to friends because of your situation.
How many times have I had to decline a date, or take a rain check on a movie night, or skip out on a school dance because of my mother? Too many.
The apologies that come right after the hopeful messages are the worst.
- "Sorry guys, not this time."
- "Maybe next time?"
- "Sure, maybe! I hope. :)" (Always adding smiley faces to seem like it may be a plausible possibility when in fact it's not.)
You and me both, Naila.
In Part 2 we get introduced to the Pakistan world, where families are super huge and integrated in the community! My own oriental culture isn't like that, but I definitely have Indian friends that can relate. From here I'll give a rundown on the amazing parts of the book.
- Naila's relationships with the different characters are realistic and beautiful but heartwrenching at the same time.
Selma, one of her cousins that becomes her best friend. Her uncle, whom she calls chacha, that finds her after she tries to escape. There are so many different relationships and feelings that she has with characters, you have to read the book to find out. It would be too spoiler-y if I told.
- Superb descriptions of Pakistan.
The author paints a new world for me. The marketplace, houses, and even buses are given an extra dimension that made it seem so real.
- It questions destiny and if our fate is really "written in the stars."
... Or can you?
I came for the romance, I stayed for the cross-cultural references and eye-opening experiences that Naila had to go through.
Contemporary readers who can appreciate a variety of cultures will appreciate this book and should read it to find out if Naila can really defy what's written in the stars.
Rating: 4.5/5
This all starts out with Naila's senior prom, which her parents definitely wouldn't let her go to. Basically their motto is "You can focus on anything but boys." And prom is certainly a distraction with a hella lot of boys.
Turns out, Naila's parents don't really need to worry about anything because she already has a boyfriend: another Pakistani-American teen in her class named Saif. But then it turns out that they do need to worry since there's no chance they're ever getting an arranged marriage. Saif's family has been ostracized from the Pakistani community because his sister had marriage with a dude named Justin that they thought was shameful. Thus, star-crossed lovers they are.
Why wouldn't a girl want to experience her last high school dance with the love of her life, even if her parents are against it? I can certainly understand, especially since my own mother is always against me going to places. However, things take a turn for the worst when her parents find out and they ship her to a family "vacay" at Pakistan.
In Part 1, where the fam is still in America, there are so many times where I can relate to Naila, or see a friend relate.
1. SHE UNDERSTANDS FLORIDA.
"In my world, the leaves stay green, the same Florida heat beating down on us, day after day, year afer year. Unchanging."
My old teacher used to say that in Florida, we have two seasons: summer, and not summer. True as heck.
2. I can relate to her parent's strict values.
Granted, my parents definitely aren't as strict as Naila's.
"'You can choose many things,' she continues. 'You can choose what you want to be when you grow up, the types of shoes you want to buy, how long you want your hair to be. But your husband, that's different. We choose your husband for you. You understand that, right?'"
So they're definitely on the traditional side, and I have an Indian friend whose parents are quite similar. Physically, my friend can avail herself to whatever she wants. New books? Done. New phone? Why not. But mentally, her parents can cause such a strain. Studying to get straight A's all the time and whatnot. This book shows such a good example on how oppressed children can actually be with conservative parents.
3. Parents are empathetic, too.
Aisha Saeed literally takes the words out of my mom's mouth.
"'We raised you well?' My mother laughs. 'We can see for ourselves what a job we did. We are your parents. We love you. We want what's best for you. If we see you doing wrong, we have to stop you. Even if you hate us, and I know you do right now, one day, you will see what we did what was best for you. That is what we have always tried to do.'"
Alas, their meaningful intentions result in deleterious consequences.
This quote really struck home, though, because the end just really reminds me of my mom always says. My earliest memory would probably be second grade, yelling at her for making me practice an hour of piano a day. "You will thank me one day!" She would scream back. "I am your mother, and I am only looking out for the best of you! Trust me, this is for your own good."
I can't say I haven't gained a lot from the never-ending hours of piano practice, but it still stings to think about it.
4. Apologizing to friends because of your situation.
How many times have I had to decline a date, or take a rain check on a movie night, or skip out on a school dance because of my mother? Too many.
The apologies that come right after the hopeful messages are the worst.
- "Sorry guys, not this time."
- "Maybe next time?"
- "Sure, maybe! I hope. :)" (Always adding smiley faces to seem like it may be a plausible possibility when in fact it's not.)
"I'm tired of always giving him these same reason. These same excuses for missing outon the important mile-stones in our lives. I swallow back tears."
You and me both, Naila.
In Part 2 we get introduced to the Pakistan world, where families are super huge and integrated in the community! My own oriental culture isn't like that, but I definitely have Indian friends that can relate. From here I'll give a rundown on the amazing parts of the book.
- Naila's relationships with the different characters are realistic and beautiful but heartwrenching at the same time.
Selma, one of her cousins that becomes her best friend. Her uncle, whom she calls chacha, that finds her after she tries to escape. There are so many different relationships and feelings that she has with characters, you have to read the book to find out. It would be too spoiler-y if I told.
- Superb descriptions of Pakistan.
The author paints a new world for me. The marketplace, houses, and even buses are given an extra dimension that made it seem so real.
- It questions destiny and if our fate is really "written in the stars."
"'My mother always says when you fight destiny, destiny fights back. Some things, they're just written in the stars. You can try, but you can never escape what's meant to be.'"
... Or can you?
I came for the romance, I stayed for the cross-cultural references and eye-opening experiences that Naila had to go through.
Contemporary readers who can appreciate a variety of cultures will appreciate this book and should read it to find out if Naila can really defy what's written in the stars.
Rating: 4.5/5
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