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The Farmer's Wife: My Life in Days
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A gorgeous portrait of Helen Rebanks's Lake District life.
As dawn breaks on the farm, Helen Rebanks makes a mug of tea, relishing the few minutes of quiet before the house stirs. Within the hour the sounds of her husband, James, and their four children will fill the kitchen. There are also six sheepdogs, two ponies, 20 chickens, 50 cattle and 500 sheep to care for. Helen is a farmer's wife. Hers is a story that is rarely told, despite being one we think we know.
Weaving past and present, Helen shares the days that have shaped her. This is the truth of those from steering the family through the Beast from the East and the local authority planning committee, to finding the quiet strength to keep going, when supper is yet to be started, another delivery man has assumed he needs to speak to the 'man of the house', and she would rather punch a cushion than plump it.
A gorgeous, unvarnished delve into the labour and glory of keeping a home and raising a family, this memoir offers a chance to think about where our food comes from, and who puts it on the table, Helen helps us all survive with recipes, lists and gentle wisdom to help us get through our days, whatever they throw at us.
A gorgeous portrait of Helen Rebanks's Lake District life.
As dawn breaks on the farm, Helen Rebanks makes a mug of tea, relishing the few minutes of quiet before the house stirs. Within the hour the sounds of her husband, James, and their four children will fill the kitchen. There are also six sheepdogs, two ponies, 20 chickens, 50 cattle and 500 sheep to care for. Helen is a farmer's wife. Hers is a story that is rarely told, despite being one we think we know.
Weaving past and present, Helen shares the days that have shaped her. This is the truth of those from steering the family through the Beast from the East and the local authority planning committee, to finding the quiet strength to keep going, when supper is yet to be started, another delivery man has assumed he needs to speak to the 'man of the house', and she would rather punch a cushion than plump it.
A gorgeous, unvarnished delve into the labour and glory of keeping a home and raising a family, this memoir offers a chance to think about where our food comes from, and who puts it on the table, Helen helps us all survive with recipes, lists and gentle wisdom to help us get through our days, whatever they throw at us.
320 pages, Paperback
Published September 19, 2023
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 175 reviews
August 30, 2023
I fancied a sideways look at James Rebanks (The Shepherd’s Life and Wainwright Prize winner English Pastoral) and his regenerative farming project in the Lake District. (My husband spotted their dale from a mountaintop on holiday earlier in the month.) Helen Rebanks is a third-generation farmer’s wife and food and family are the most important things to her. One gets the sense that she has felt looked down on for only ever wanting to be a wife and mother. Her memoir, its recollections structured to metaphorically fall into a typical day, is primarily a defence of the life she has chosen, and secondarily a recipe-stuffed manifesto for eating simple, quality home cooking. (She paints processed food as the enemy.)
Growing up, Rebanks started cooking for her family early on, and got a job in a café as a teenager; her mother ran their farm home as a B&B but was forgetful to the point of being neglectful. She met James at 17 and accompanied him to Oxford, where they must have been the only student couple cooking and eating proper food. This period, when she was working an office job, baking cakes for a café, and mourning the devastating foot-and-mouth disease epidemic from a distance, is most memorable. Stories from travels, her wedding, and the births of her four children are pleasant enough, yet there’s nothing to make these experiences, or the telling of them, stand out. I wouldn’t make any of the dishes; most you could find a recipe for anywhere. Eleanor Crow’s black-and-white illustrations are lovely, though.
Originally published on my blog, Bookish Beck.
Growing up, Rebanks started cooking for her family early on, and got a job in a café as a teenager; her mother ran their farm home as a B&B but was forgetful to the point of being neglectful. She met James at 17 and accompanied him to Oxford, where they must have been the only student couple cooking and eating proper food. This period, when she was working an office job, baking cakes for a café, and mourning the devastating foot-and-mouth disease epidemic from a distance, is most memorable. Stories from travels, her wedding, and the births of her four children are pleasant enough, yet there’s nothing to make these experiences, or the telling of them, stand out. I wouldn’t make any of the dishes; most you could find a recipe for anywhere. Eleanor Crow’s black-and-white illustrations are lovely, though.
Originally published on my blog, Bookish Beck.
May 8, 2023
2.5
I feel bad for only giving this 2.5 although I have rounded up! Helen Rebanks is clearly a good woman who believes passionately in the farming life she leads with husband and fellow author James.
Which leads me on to the question of would she have got this book published if she wasn’t married to her best selling husband?
She’s definitely not a bad writer but I am struggling to think of good things to say! Maybe I should leave it at that!
I feel bad for only giving this 2.5 although I have rounded up! Helen Rebanks is clearly a good woman who believes passionately in the farming life she leads with husband and fellow author James.
Which leads me on to the question of would she have got this book published if she wasn’t married to her best selling husband?
She’s definitely not a bad writer but I am struggling to think of good things to say! Maybe I should leave it at that!
January 14, 2024
“There are many ways to live, many ways to be a woman. I know lots of women don’t want what I want. Some would say mine is a small life. But this is how I want to live.”
“I have often felt undervalued, not so much by my own family but in society as a woman choosing to stay at home and cook for her family. There is a strong cultural dogma that life outside the home is more important than the one inside the home. As if domestic work isn’t a good enough way to spend a life. But isn’t it one of the most important things we can do?”
This book was a delightful memoir on the life of a farm wife in days. To quote Annie Dillard, “How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives.”
Also, the “farmer’s daughter who learned how to cook and went to school and worked in a cafe while honing her baking skills and then marries the farmer” trajectory was one I felt very personally. 😂♥️
“I have often felt undervalued, not so much by my own family but in society as a woman choosing to stay at home and cook for her family. There is a strong cultural dogma that life outside the home is more important than the one inside the home. As if domestic work isn’t a good enough way to spend a life. But isn’t it one of the most important things we can do?”
This book was a delightful memoir on the life of a farm wife in days. To quote Annie Dillard, “How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives.”
Also, the “farmer’s daughter who learned how to cook and went to school and worked in a cafe while honing her baking skills and then marries the farmer” trajectory was one I felt very personally. 😂♥️
December 5, 2023
mul olid kõrged ootused selle raamatu suhtes, sest Rebankside pere idüllilist taluelu olen Twitteri ja pereisa raamatute kaudu juba aastaid jälginud. ja vaadake seda kaanepilti, kas ei tõota uskumatut hubasust?
tegelikult lajatas siit vastu kohutav kogus keskealise koduperenaise frustratsiooni. eelkõige, väidab ta ise, selle üle, kuidas inimesed ei mõista tema valikut olla kodune nelja lapse ema ja farmeri abikaasa, sest nad ei saa üldse aru, KUI raske ja tänamatu see roll tegelikult on.
honey... you've got it wrong. me ei mõista su valikut just sellepärast, et me saame selgelt aru, et see on raske ja tänamatu. ja mina igatahes ei leia siit raamatust piisavalt seda teist poolt, et mis selles siis toredat ja head on, et see kogu pingutust ikkagi väärib.
formaat on üsna hüplik - raamjutustus oleks nagu üks (seejuures tõesti idülliline) päev Heleni olevikus, kus lapsed on kõik enamvähem kaela kandma kasvatatud, maja valmis ehitatud ja farm jätkusuutlikul ja keskkonnasõbralikul moel tööle saadud. (muidu ilus, aga täpselt samas formaadis oli üles ehitatud üks James Rebanksi raamat. vb nad pididki teineteist peegeldama - et mehe raamatus nägime, kuidas veedab päeva taluperemees, ja naise omas, kuidas seda toetab ja võimaldab taluperenaine? aga minu jaoks tundus natuke nagu plagiaat.)
palju pikemalt ja põhjalikumalt kirjeldatakse aga pildikesi Heleni minevikust - lapsepõlv ja kõik sealt kaasa saadud traumad, katsed elada linnaelu, kõigi laste sünnid ja loendamatute kodude ülesehitamised (see pere on täiesti obsessiivselt iga kord, kui maja valmis sai, selle maha müünud ja uue ostnud, mida nullist remontima hakata. vähemalt neli korda!)... ja sinna taustale tohutul hulgal söögitegemist. ikka hästi detailselt, no ikka lehekülgede kaupa kirjeldatakse meile, kuidas ta kuskil 1990ndatel aastatel mingit kooki küpsetas või suppi segas.
komandaks kihiks on teksti sees (ja pärast lõpus) olevad retseptid. ei saa salata, mitut neist retseptidest plaanin ise ka katsetada, sest tunduvad üsna lihtsad ja mõnusad. lõpus on ka nimekiri sellest, misasjad peaks inimesel sahvris ja külmikus varuks olema, ja see on samamoodi väga lihtne ja mõistlik kõik.
aga see frustratsioon ikkagi. see kuidagi... ei lahendu kuhugi :( järjest loeme lugusid sellest, kuidas Helenile ei meeldinud ükski pidu, kus ta noorena käis, ja kui raske oli hakkama saada esimese lapsega, samal ajal kodu remontides... ja siis teise lapsega, samal ajal alailma mehega tülis olles... ja kui ma jõudsin selle mälestuseni, kuidas ta 10 päeva pärast kolmanda lapse sünnitamist (mis toimus suure verekaotusega) kangelaslikult oma pere mingile jõulupeole tassib ja teeb eelnevalt kaasa mitte ühe, vaid KAKS magustoitu (jällegi, kaheksa lehekülge saame lugeda sellest, kuidas seda kihilist tarretist täpselt tehti, vahepeal beebit imetades, kaht maimikut peoriietesse surudes, nõusid pestes, lõunasööki serveerides, pesu kuivama riputades, kuurist puid tuues jne) ja siis seal peol kempsus nutab, sest kuulis pealt kellegi lõõpi, et ta sai kolmanda lapse, et ei peaks päris tööle minema... oh issand, see on kõik üheaegselt nii kurb, aga ka nii vihaleajav! miks sa teed seda endale? miks sa ajad taga mingit perfektsust, millest ei hooli keegi peale su enda, miks sa ajad end surnuks lihtsalt selle nimel, et kõigile näidata ja tõestada, et sa saad hakkama küll, miks sa, jumala eest, abi ei küsi ja vastu ei võta?
aa, ja siis on raamatus veel moraliseerimiskiht: saame kuulda mitut loengut sellest, kuidas tuleb ikkagi kõik toidud teha ise ja nullist ja värskest kohalikust toorainest (oh, ja see tema häbi ja läbikukkumistunne, kui ta läheb beebi ja kahe väikelapsega tipptunnil poodi ja lapsed nõuavad ja saavad ka maiustusi, sest ta ei jaksa nendega võidelda seal), sest esiteks muidu su lapsed surevad umbes ära ja teiseks sureb ära tema perekond, sest me ajame farmerid pankrotti, kui me poest imporditud toitu otsime. mitte et ma temaga sisuliselt väga vaielda tahaks, see ideaal pole ju vale, aga kui ma samal ajal näen, kui raskeks ta omaenda elu elab selle poole püüeldes (ja ikkagi "libastudes")... ausalt, see inimene vajab abi. loodetavasti tal vähemalt sai parem, kui ta kõik selle endast välja kirjutatud sai.
tegelikult lajatas siit vastu kohutav kogus keskealise koduperenaise frustratsiooni. eelkõige, väidab ta ise, selle üle, kuidas inimesed ei mõista tema valikut olla kodune nelja lapse ema ja farmeri abikaasa, sest nad ei saa üldse aru, KUI raske ja tänamatu see roll tegelikult on.
honey... you've got it wrong. me ei mõista su valikut just sellepärast, et me saame selgelt aru, et see on raske ja tänamatu. ja mina igatahes ei leia siit raamatust piisavalt seda teist poolt, et mis selles siis toredat ja head on, et see kogu pingutust ikkagi väärib.
formaat on üsna hüplik - raamjutustus oleks nagu üks (seejuures tõesti idülliline) päev Heleni olevikus, kus lapsed on kõik enamvähem kaela kandma kasvatatud, maja valmis ehitatud ja farm jätkusuutlikul ja keskkonnasõbralikul moel tööle saadud. (muidu ilus, aga täpselt samas formaadis oli üles ehitatud üks James Rebanksi raamat. vb nad pididki teineteist peegeldama - et mehe raamatus nägime, kuidas veedab päeva taluperemees, ja naise omas, kuidas seda toetab ja võimaldab taluperenaine? aga minu jaoks tundus natuke nagu plagiaat.)
palju pikemalt ja põhjalikumalt kirjeldatakse aga pildikesi Heleni minevikust - lapsepõlv ja kõik sealt kaasa saadud traumad, katsed elada linnaelu, kõigi laste sünnid ja loendamatute kodude ülesehitamised (see pere on täiesti obsessiivselt iga kord, kui maja valmis sai, selle maha müünud ja uue ostnud, mida nullist remontima hakata. vähemalt neli korda!)... ja sinna taustale tohutul hulgal söögitegemist. ikka hästi detailselt, no ikka lehekülgede kaupa kirjeldatakse meile, kuidas ta kuskil 1990ndatel aastatel mingit kooki küpsetas või suppi segas.
komandaks kihiks on teksti sees (ja pärast lõpus) olevad retseptid. ei saa salata, mitut neist retseptidest plaanin ise ka katsetada, sest tunduvad üsna lihtsad ja mõnusad. lõpus on ka nimekiri sellest, misasjad peaks inimesel sahvris ja külmikus varuks olema, ja see on samamoodi väga lihtne ja mõistlik kõik.
aga see frustratsioon ikkagi. see kuidagi... ei lahendu kuhugi :( järjest loeme lugusid sellest, kuidas Helenile ei meeldinud ükski pidu, kus ta noorena käis, ja kui raske oli hakkama saada esimese lapsega, samal ajal kodu remontides... ja siis teise lapsega, samal ajal alailma mehega tülis olles... ja kui ma jõudsin selle mälestuseni, kuidas ta 10 päeva pärast kolmanda lapse sünnitamist (mis toimus suure verekaotusega) kangelaslikult oma pere mingile jõulupeole tassib ja teeb eelnevalt kaasa mitte ühe, vaid KAKS magustoitu (jällegi, kaheksa lehekülge saame lugeda sellest, kuidas seda kihilist tarretist täpselt tehti, vahepeal beebit imetades, kaht maimikut peoriietesse surudes, nõusid pestes, lõunasööki serveerides, pesu kuivama riputades, kuurist puid tuues jne) ja siis seal peol kempsus nutab, sest kuulis pealt kellegi lõõpi, et ta sai kolmanda lapse, et ei peaks päris tööle minema... oh issand, see on kõik üheaegselt nii kurb, aga ka nii vihaleajav! miks sa teed seda endale? miks sa ajad taga mingit perfektsust, millest ei hooli keegi peale su enda, miks sa ajad end surnuks lihtsalt selle nimel, et kõigile näidata ja tõestada, et sa saad hakkama küll, miks sa, jumala eest, abi ei küsi ja vastu ei võta?
aa, ja siis on raamatus veel moraliseerimiskiht: saame kuulda mitut loengut sellest, kuidas tuleb ikkagi kõik toidud teha ise ja nullist ja värskest kohalikust toorainest (oh, ja see tema häbi ja läbikukkumistunne, kui ta läheb beebi ja kahe väikelapsega tipptunnil poodi ja lapsed nõuavad ja saavad ka maiustusi, sest ta ei jaksa nendega võidelda seal), sest esiteks muidu su lapsed surevad umbes ära ja teiseks sureb ära tema perekond, sest me ajame farmerid pankrotti, kui me poest imporditud toitu otsime. mitte et ma temaga sisuliselt väga vaielda tahaks, see ideaal pole ju vale, aga kui ma samal ajal näen, kui raskeks ta omaenda elu elab selle poole püüeldes (ja ikkagi "libastudes")... ausalt, see inimene vajab abi. loodetavasti tal vähemalt sai parem, kui ta kõik selle endast välja kirjutatud sai.
February 26, 2024
As a farmers wife this was painful to read and the recipes were often unrealistic. The story went off in all different directions and was hard to figure out where she was going and what the point was. Several parts ended and jumped around. She tried to throw in serious conditions (like postpartum) and did a terrible job at it. This book makes me want to write my own book to share what it’s really like to live on a farm.
October 27, 2023
I thought this book sounded interesting before I realized that her husband was James Rebanks. I tried to read his book Pastoral Song and just could NOT get into it so I didn't read it. When I got this book in and realized it was by his wife I wasn't sure I would like it. But I started reading this one and liked her tone and style. I liked the beginning of the book better and actually disliked it more as I kept going. Her family history, time in college, and falling in love with James was interesting. But once they were married and having children the book became a laundry list of everything that Helen was doing, how overwhelmed she was, how little James helped with the children, how tight money was, etc. Helen really wanted children and to be a mother, but by the end of the book she wasn't helping convince anyone to be a parent or a farmer. She includes lots of recipes throughout the book and she obviously enjoys cooking and understands the importance of high-quality, regeneratively farmed food. There were a few spots where she talked briefly about how they farmed and why it's important but honestly it was lost in the laundry list of chores that filled the last 2/3 of the book. I also feel like the book would have flowed better if the recipes were included at the end of each chapter/section instead of just stuck in randomly. Often the recipes interrupted the flow of the text in a weird way. The recipes look good and I just think it would be easier to use/read if the recipes were all together either at the end of the book or included at the end of each section. I think Helen is a good writer and I liked her style but I just didn't love the majority of the content. Overall unless you're a HUGE fan of the Rebanks or are also an overwhelmed mother who wants to feel seen this might not be the book for you. I would give this one 2.5 stars but I'm rounding up to 3 because of the recipes.
January 3, 2024
Never have I read a book that so adequately captures the pressures of what it is like to be a regular woman. Not a CEO, not a movie star, not a New Age Princess, but a woman struggling with a shopping cart in the rain with 3 hungry children just picked up from school and the judgments of others in the supermarket. A great companion to James' books as well regarding their commitment to sustainable farming. Insightful, on-point, useful for its recipes and a nice rewarding autobiography.
September 4, 2023
This is a good autobiography and worth reading. But it is not mostly a story of a ‘farmers wife’. Rather this is mostly the story of a good and ordinary wife and mother, doing wife and mother things, loving and caring well, being terribly self conscious, occasionally being emotionally overwhelmed, trying to bring order and beauty to her world. The farming is just the background. I suspect many wives and mothers could read this and connect with it. As a bloke who is not married and has no children I appreciated this peek into a world I know little to nothing about on the ‘inside’.
It is an honest autobiography. It is not dishonest or narcissistic. It is plain. There is no hidden agenda, just a genuine sharing of her life. Good.
Pairing this book with her husband’s ‘the shepherds life’ would lead to a better bigger picture, but also an interesting study in how this husband and wife team (perhaps, most men and women) have their focus on different things, even as they do their lives together.
Do read this book. Read his book too.
(Also, she is a great cook. Food matters a lot to her. The book is full of recipes. And her mindset is the right one: no ultra processed weird crap. Natural is best. That she’s clocked on to the evil of vegetable oil is also a very good sign. Hail butter!)
It is an honest autobiography. It is not dishonest or narcissistic. It is plain. There is no hidden agenda, just a genuine sharing of her life. Good.
Pairing this book with her husband’s ‘the shepherds life’ would lead to a better bigger picture, but also an interesting study in how this husband and wife team (perhaps, most men and women) have their focus on different things, even as they do their lives together.
Do read this book. Read his book too.
(Also, she is a great cook. Food matters a lot to her. The book is full of recipes. And her mindset is the right one: no ultra processed weird crap. Natural is best. That she’s clocked on to the evil of vegetable oil is also a very good sign. Hail butter!)
February 10, 2024
I loved James Rebanks' books which offered a wordly and interesting view on some very real challenges. This didn't fall into that category for me - more of a defensive attempt to justify life choices and a non-feminist jumble of recipes, memories and recounting marital rough patches. Perhaps a subject matter better suited to a private journal than a published book.
July 3, 2024
I didn’t realize this book was a food memoir when I started reading, but I liked it!
December 28, 2023
I’d love to read a sequel to this, with even more of a focus on the farm (though perhaps it’s redundant given James’ books).
December 30, 2023
I bought this book immediately after hearing author Helen Rebanks interviewed on NPR. I wound up finding it a mixed bag ... some nice simple recipes, a glimpse into a life very different from mine ... but a tendency to jump around a bit temporally in ways that were not particularly artful and way too much mundane detail. For example, "The hens come clucking and running to me at lightening speed when they see me with a pan in my hand. I scrape out the leftover rice from supper onto the grass with a spoon and they peck around my feet. Back inside, I wipe the table, put the last two glasses in the dishwasher, tip out the water jug and rinse it. I bend down to get a detergent tablet from under the sink and put it in the dishwasher. My back is aching. The kids have made a good enough job of tidying the meal up"... and so on and so one. Is this really material worth sharing with the world? Reading it became tedious after a while. The book started out promising, but as the author's life and marriage became more mundane the narrative followed suit. That early promise was gone.
November 19, 2023
A really honest look at a tough but fulfilling life. Helen is not afraid to talk about her hard times and the way society doesn’t support farming. But she has great ideas about how to make farming better for the people who make the food, the people who buy the food and the animals who are the food.
June 3, 2024
I was hoping for more farm content, but got majority mom content. nothing wrong with that, just not my ideal read.
January 6, 2024
I met Helen Rebanks (wife of the more successful James, of The Shepherd's Life fame) at an author-event at our local indie bookshop and found her sparky and interesting. I didn't feel the same about her book. She details the hard slog of being a farmer's wife and a mother in an unforgiving, if beautiful part of England: she strongly feels the need to justify her decision to be a stay-at-home mother, even though she is clearly also instrumental in the running of the farm. Her description of her life in Oxford, where James was studying for a degree was the most absorbing. Much of the rest described a life of drudgery with little happiness, though she claims she would choose no other life.
The book is interspersed with recipes, all of which can easily be found anywhere, and at the end are store cupboard hints which I doubt are of much help to her probable readership. A slightly disappointing read.
The book is interspersed with recipes, all of which can easily be found anywhere, and at the end are store cupboard hints which I doubt are of much help to her probable readership. A slightly disappointing read.
February 24, 2024
I'm not really sure what the point of this book was. It was a random jump around in time with a lot of complaining, and some very basic recipes. The only part I liked was at the end when she sort of explained what they were doing on the farm as far as encouraging biodiversity. Wish there had been more of that in the book and less of her birthing stories!
I just saw on Goodreads that her husband James has written two well reviewed books about the farm and his return to more ecological ways of farming. I will give these a try!
I just saw on Goodreads that her husband James has written two well reviewed books about the farm and his return to more ecological ways of farming. I will give these a try!
December 21, 2023
Great memoir of yearning to start and then starting a homestead, and ultimately finding ones path to happiness. The heartaches and joys of starting a family as well as coping with what others expectations of what a family are and what one's life accomplishments should be were very well presented. And the recipes throughout were very tasty.
Plus, in the listings at the end she states "...almost every meal can be made better with bacon" a woman after my own stomach.
Plus, in the listings at the end she states "...almost every meal can be made better with bacon" a woman after my own stomach.
Read
September 28, 2023Free audio on hoopla. I made it to nearly 1yr old Molly and house #3 at about half and am quitting at this point.
August 6, 2024
This book by Helen Rebanks is filled with an equal measure of poetic beauty and tidbits that hit a bit too close to home, despite being written across the pond. But all in all, I loved this glimpse into the life of another farmer's wife.
If you can, listen to at least part of it on audio to appreciate the gorgeous narration. But don't miss all the recipes and pantry ideas in the print and Kindle editions.
If you can, listen to at least part of it on audio to appreciate the gorgeous narration. But don't miss all the recipes and pantry ideas in the print and Kindle editions.
February 4, 2024
I was so excited to see this book “The Farmers Wife” in my independent book store! After reading two of James Rebanks’ books I knew I must read his wife’s thoughts on being a farmers wife…spoiler alert ‼️ it is hard!
Helen writes in such an honest, matter of factly way that you could not help but be fascinated by her life! I liked the simple storytelling way she wrote, at times her prose was poetic. And the theme that “all I really wanted to be was a mom” was endearing. Oh, and her recipes intermingle throughout her story were so clever…I’m definitely going to try a few…but maybe not the Yorkshire pudding😅.
Helen writes in such an honest, matter of factly way that you could not help but be fascinated by her life! I liked the simple storytelling way she wrote, at times her prose was poetic. And the theme that “all I really wanted to be was a mom” was endearing. Oh, and her recipes intermingle throughout her story were so clever…I’m definitely going to try a few…but maybe not the Yorkshire pudding😅.
December 30, 2023
I really really wanted to love this book as I am a big fan of Helen's husband James. Also as a farmer's daughter who grew up to be stay at home mum with 4 kids (just like Helen), I expected to really relate to Helen and her life. In truth I found I didn't really like Helen much 🙈 There's a lot of moaning and complaining and everything always seems to be someone else's fault. The writing was disjointed and jumped around too much with huge chunks of her life skipped over so that at times I wasn't really sure where they were living or what was going on. And the recipes were really irritating, slotted in in the middle of the text so that I had to skip several pages of recipe to read the end of the anecdote. Some were also unnecessary - the "recipes" for Birds Custard and porridge for example are literally the instructions off the packet.
I loved the concept of this book, but it is so poorly executed - that is more the publisher's fault than Helen's I would imagine. The drawings are wonderful though and it is a pretty book so I will probably keep it on my bookshelf alongside my much read copies of The Shepherd's Life and English Pastoral.
I loved the concept of this book, but it is so poorly executed - that is more the publisher's fault than Helen's I would imagine. The drawings are wonderful though and it is a pretty book so I will probably keep it on my bookshelf alongside my much read copies of The Shepherd's Life and English Pastoral.
March 19, 2024
A lovely easy read.
As a lover of the Lake District and someone who longs to one day call it home, I very much enjoyed reading Helen’s story whilst creating a movie in my mind with each page.
After reading other reviews I was quite sceptical, with people accusing her of sounding a tad moany. To be honest, this didn’t affect me. As a woman, it’s refreshing to hear other women say how hard “just” being a “housewife” is. In a world of social media, where everyone only shows the life highs, it’s reassuring to know that others find themselves tired of the daily struggles too.
Like myself, Helen too sees the benefits of good conscience food that support our UK farmers. I think more people could do with reading this book.
As a lover of the Lake District and someone who longs to one day call it home, I very much enjoyed reading Helen’s story whilst creating a movie in my mind with each page.
After reading other reviews I was quite sceptical, with people accusing her of sounding a tad moany. To be honest, this didn’t affect me. As a woman, it’s refreshing to hear other women say how hard “just” being a “housewife” is. In a world of social media, where everyone only shows the life highs, it’s reassuring to know that others find themselves tired of the daily struggles too.
Like myself, Helen too sees the benefits of good conscience food that support our UK farmers. I think more people could do with reading this book.
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October 3, 2023Reminds me a bit of James Rebanks first book in the sense that it’s a little unpolished and defensive. I think it’s the defensiveness that has left an unwelcome taste in my mouth after what was otherwise a good memoir. I didn’t enjoy it as much as The Shepherd’s Life, and definitely not as much as Pastoral Song, but maybe that’s not a fair comparison. I hope she keeps writing and I hope she feels less judged for her choices (which I think are admirable and worthwhile). Also, I didn’t give it a star rating because I still haven’t decided on one yet.
April 16, 2024
I read English farmer/shepherd James Rebanks’s two books, A Shepherd’s Life and Pastoral Song, during the pandemic, when I was isolated in my city apartment and longing for the rolling fields of the Laurel Highlands of the Western Pennsylvania where I grew up. I loved hearing about James’s life on his family farm in the fells of the Lake District, as well as his thoughtful perspectives on farming practices and society’s attitudes towards food and farming. For that reason, I was excited to read about his wife Helen’s memoir, The Farmer’s Wife, in the Slightly Foxed autumn 2023 reader’s catalogue.
Helen’s memoir is unique in that it provides a perspective that normally does not have an amplified voice in our culture. The title of the book reveals her primary identity: she is first and foremost a farmer’s wife and a mother, embracing these roles wholeheartedly. (And to be clear, Helen is actually a farmer’s wife, for real, not just someone with an MFA who happens to live in the country and keep some chickens.) She details what her life in this role looks like day to day, the hardships and the triumphs, the sacrifices and the rewards. She fills in a lot of gaps from her husband’s books, in which his love for her is clear, but she only appears as a background character. Here, she provides much more texture, dimension, and candor to the Rebanks family life portrayed in James’s writing. Much of the book is recounting the quotidian tasks of her life at various points in the family’s journey towards owning and living on James’s family’s farm, throughout which we see she and James grow individually and as a couple, slowly building healthier relationship dynamics and sustainable lifestyles for themselves. Although she does not quite convince me that a life as a farmer (or farmer’s spouse) is for me, she thoughtfully and persuasively makes the case for why the lives of farm families and caregivers are undervalued and deserve our admiration.
I strongly recommend this well written, unpretentious memoir for anyone with an interest in the life of a farm wife or farm family. If you have read James’s books and enjoyed them, this book is a wonderful complement to them; likewise, if you read The Farmer’s Wife first, I highly recommend picking up A Shepherd’s Life and Pastoral Song next.
Helen’s memoir is unique in that it provides a perspective that normally does not have an amplified voice in our culture. The title of the book reveals her primary identity: she is first and foremost a farmer’s wife and a mother, embracing these roles wholeheartedly. (And to be clear, Helen is actually a farmer’s wife, for real, not just someone with an MFA who happens to live in the country and keep some chickens.) She details what her life in this role looks like day to day, the hardships and the triumphs, the sacrifices and the rewards. She fills in a lot of gaps from her husband’s books, in which his love for her is clear, but she only appears as a background character. Here, she provides much more texture, dimension, and candor to the Rebanks family life portrayed in James’s writing. Much of the book is recounting the quotidian tasks of her life at various points in the family’s journey towards owning and living on James’s family’s farm, throughout which we see she and James grow individually and as a couple, slowly building healthier relationship dynamics and sustainable lifestyles for themselves. Although she does not quite convince me that a life as a farmer (or farmer’s spouse) is for me, she thoughtfully and persuasively makes the case for why the lives of farm families and caregivers are undervalued and deserve our admiration.
I strongly recommend this well written, unpretentious memoir for anyone with an interest in the life of a farm wife or farm family. If you have read James’s books and enjoyed them, this book is a wonderful complement to them; likewise, if you read The Farmer’s Wife first, I highly recommend picking up A Shepherd’s Life and Pastoral Song next.
June 13, 2024
After reading Hannah Coulter with my book club this spring and discussing much about community, regenerative farming, and making a home where your ancestors lived, this book was a welcome follow-up. Unlike Wendell Berry, who I find preachy and sentimental despite sharing most of his values, Helen and James Rebanks write realistic, compelling accounts of their everyday farm life. I had enjoyed James's book a couple years ago, but Helen's story felt so familiar to me, a homemaker and mother who finds great joy (and frustration at times!) in dedicating my energies to improving my corner of the world from my home outward. I will never be a farmer --we don't even have chickens right now since our latest move-- but Helen's love of the land inspires me. She shows the good, the bad, and the ugly of homemaking (the messes and the yummy food), having a large family (I took have heard the snarky comments at dinner parties and have felt judged for my lifestyle choices and yet found great joy in the midst of the chaos), and marriage (their story is so much more satisfying than a romance novel that ends 5% into a life together).
I listened to half of this book (read by the author) while driving my kids to and from activities, and I do want to note that there are a half dozen or so F-bombs throughout the book, so this isn't one I would listen to with my kids. I finished the second half in a hospital room with my youngest, so I read it as an ebook but would love to own a physical copy to try the recipes and reread various sections.
If you love Wendell Berry (or wish you could love him but would like a realistic, real-life picture of the lifestyle he advocates on his writings), this is a must-read.
I listened to half of this book (read by the author) while driving my kids to and from activities, and I do want to note that there are a half dozen or so F-bombs throughout the book, so this isn't one I would listen to with my kids. I finished the second half in a hospital room with my youngest, so I read it as an ebook but would love to own a physical copy to try the recipes and reread various sections.
If you love Wendell Berry (or wish you could love him but would like a realistic, real-life picture of the lifestyle he advocates on his writings), this is a must-read.
July 25, 2024
Not sure if its a full 4 stars yet, but its close to it. As someone who knows literally nothing about farming and , in particular, nothing about farming in England, this was a fascinating look into this type of life. This work was clearly deeply personal and, at times, a little hard to read (emotionally); Rebanks does an incredible job conveying complex feelings about her role in farm life, her role as a mother, and what her role means to her and her community. This book felt like a mixture of cozy cottagecore ideas (i.e. a focus on food and cooking and house design) and the darker, harsher realities of what a "cottagecore" life could mean, with the high stressorz and emotions that come with life on a farm. It's a bit disjointed at times, with short digressions about food choices and the relationships between farming and nature she perceives mixed in with her recollections of her life so far. Despite this, though, I found myself deeply engaged in this memoir and it's earnest, straightforward way of discussing so many fascinating and impactful topics.
November 1, 2023
I was expecting this novel to focus on what it was like in the day to day living on a farm but it was more so just a memoir of the author’s life . There were bits about the farm but it was also about the struggles of her marriage and raising 4 kids with a ton of other stuff going on. I appreciate the main message of the book being the importance of motherhood and that being “enough” in life but overall found this read just ok and did not love it . As a side note the book is very pretty and I loved the sketches illustrated throughout the book.
January 8, 2024
Honestly can't figure out if I want to give it a 3 or 4. It's an enjoyable read, and kind of like if the long preludes to online recipes got expanded and compiled. I enjoyed reading about Rebanks' philosophy about food and cooking, and her personality comes through when describing recipes. I don't think it's exceptionally well-written, but I wouldn't call it bad and it does feel like it was written by a mother.
September 6, 2024
“It has been a long journey, but it is now time for us to do more than survive, more than just get through the days. We are kinder to each other now, because we understand ourselves better…we know our limits better, too. We spent too many years pushing ourselves and each other beyond them. A swim in the lake is as important as making the hay—both have to be given time for a good life.”
October 22, 2023
Generally a pleasant read , reminded me of my my childhood with the cooking and mincer on the end of the table.
Good example of not worrying what your life consists of compared to others and enjoying it. I will share it with friends.
Good example of not worrying what your life consists of compared to others and enjoying it. I will share it with friends.
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