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Nicked
From the award-winning and bestselling author of Feed comes a raucous and slyly funny adult fiction debut, about the quest to steal the mystical bones of a long-dead saint
The year is 1087, and a pox is sweeping through the Italian port city of Bari. When a lowly monk is visited by Saint Nicholas in his dreams, he interprets the vision as a call to action. But his superiors, and the power brokers they serve, have different plans for the tender-hearted Brother Nicephorus.
Enter Tyun, a charismatic treasure hunter renowned for “liberating” holy relics from their tombs. The seven-hundred-year-old bones of Saint Nicholas rest in distant Myra, Tyun explains, and they’re rumored to weep a mysterious liquid that can heal the sick. For the humble price of a small fortune, Tyun will steal the bones and deliver them to Bari, curing the plague and restoring glory to the fallen city. And Nicephorus, the “dreamer,” will be his guide.
What follows is a heist for the ages, as Nicephorus is swept away on strange tides—and alongside even stranger bedfellows—to commit an act of sacrilege. Based on real historical accounts, Nicked is a wildly imaginative, genre-defying, and delightfully queer adventure, full of romance, intrigue, and wide-eyed wonder at the world that awaits beyond our own borders.
The year is 1087, and a pox is sweeping through the Italian port city of Bari. When a lowly monk is visited by Saint Nicholas in his dreams, he interprets the vision as a call to action. But his superiors, and the power brokers they serve, have different plans for the tender-hearted Brother Nicephorus.
Enter Tyun, a charismatic treasure hunter renowned for “liberating” holy relics from their tombs. The seven-hundred-year-old bones of Saint Nicholas rest in distant Myra, Tyun explains, and they’re rumored to weep a mysterious liquid that can heal the sick. For the humble price of a small fortune, Tyun will steal the bones and deliver them to Bari, curing the plague and restoring glory to the fallen city. And Nicephorus, the “dreamer,” will be his guide.
What follows is a heist for the ages, as Nicephorus is swept away on strange tides—and alongside even stranger bedfellows—to commit an act of sacrilege. Based on real historical accounts, Nicked is a wildly imaginative, genre-defying, and delightfully queer adventure, full of romance, intrigue, and wide-eyed wonder at the world that awaits beyond our own borders.
240 pages, Kindle Edition
First published July 23, 2024
About the author
M.T. Anderson
56 books1,181 followersMatthew Tobin Anderson (M. T. Anderson), (1968- ) is an author, primarily of picture books for children and novels for young adults. Anderson lives in Cambridge, Massachusetts.
His picture books include Handel Who Knew What He Liked; Strange Mr. Satie; The Serpent Came to Gloucester; and Me, All Alone, at the End of the World. He has written such young adult books as Thirsty, Burger Wuss, Feed, The Game of Sunken Places, and Octavian Nothing. For middle grader readers, his novels include Whales on Stilts: M. T. Anderson's Thrilling Tales and its sequel, The Clue of the Linoleum Lederhosen.
-Wikipedia
His picture books include Handel Who Knew What He Liked; Strange Mr. Satie; The Serpent Came to Gloucester; and Me, All Alone, at the End of the World. He has written such young adult books as Thirsty, Burger Wuss, Feed, The Game of Sunken Places, and Octavian Nothing. For middle grader readers, his novels include Whales on Stilts: M. T. Anderson's Thrilling Tales and its sequel, The Clue of the Linoleum Lederhosen.
-Wikipedia
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 378 reviews
July 10, 2024
I have a particular fondness for books set in the early middle ages that involve naive monks and worldly, cynical relic hunters. It's a very specific subgenre and one that is dear to my heart. One gets all the interesting theological tidbits of the era along with a the struggle between disillusionment and what I'll call (in an attempt at balance) "reillusionment."
What underlies the embrace or rejection of a theology?
M. T. Anderson's Nicked is a delightful example of this subgenre. The humor outweighs the pathos by a bit, but there's such a deep sincerity to it. Anderson crafts beautiful prose and can create a richly detailed image from a single sentence. The short overview is this: young monk dreams of St. Nicholas, tells others (who see it as a moment of economic opportunity) of his dream, resulting in relic hunter, monk, and local political bigwig—along with crews of oarsmen and soldiers/mercenaries—finding themselves asea with a mission of stealing the remains of St. Nicholas in order to profit the local abbey and town.
If this is your kind of a read, you are in for such a delight! Even if you don't think it's your kind of a read, I'd urge you to check it out. There's a whole subgenre out there, full of philosophy, cynicism, moral dilemmas, cognitive dissonance, and more waiting for you.
I received a free electronic review copy of this title from the publisher via NetGalley; the opinions are my own.
What underlies the embrace or rejection of a theology?
M. T. Anderson's Nicked is a delightful example of this subgenre. The humor outweighs the pathos by a bit, but there's such a deep sincerity to it. Anderson crafts beautiful prose and can create a richly detailed image from a single sentence. The short overview is this: young monk dreams of St. Nicholas, tells others (who see it as a moment of economic opportunity) of his dream, resulting in relic hunter, monk, and local political bigwig—along with crews of oarsmen and soldiers/mercenaries—finding themselves asea with a mission of stealing the remains of St. Nicholas in order to profit the local abbey and town.
If this is your kind of a read, you are in for such a delight! Even if you don't think it's your kind of a read, I'd urge you to check it out. There's a whole subgenre out there, full of philosophy, cynicism, moral dilemmas, cognitive dissonance, and more waiting for you.
I received a free electronic review copy of this title from the publisher via NetGalley; the opinions are my own.
May 4, 2024
There isn't anything I can call out as being 'bad' with this book; it just wasn't holding my interest. One thing that kept pulling me out of the story was difficulty grasping the tone; I couldn't tell if it was supposed to be humorous or serious or both. That probably doesn't make any sense, and I apologize, but I found myself stopping to reread sections multiple times.
It's all very Ocean's Eleven meets The Bible, written by Mel Brooks 🤷🏻♀️
It's all very Ocean's Eleven meets The Bible, written by Mel Brooks 🤷🏻♀️
November 5, 2024
It's the year 1087 and the city of Bari has two problems: (1) an epidemic of the pox; (2) insufficient tourist revenue. Inconveniently for himself, the monk Nicephorus has a dream about St. Nicholas, which he takes to mean that he should go into the city and tend the sick, but which the Barese powers that be decide, conveniently for them, signifies that they should hire the Tartar saint-hunter Tyun to [euphemism incoming] collect the saint's bones from the city of Myra, where they have lain for hundreds of years giving off a sweet ichor that has some beneficial effect or other, such as for example being saleable.
Nicephorus is sent off with Tyun in the good ship, I kid you not, Epiphany.
The subsequent adventures have a picaresque quality -- road trip, mayhem, more mayhem, yet more mayhem. I'm not, in general, a fan of the picaresque; Lazarillo de Tormes et al. bored me to tears. Nicked did not bore me for one single solitary second, however. It's funny, for starters, with just the right touches of bitterness and salt. Take, for instance, the account of how St. Nicholas saved the city of Myra during a famine, by performing a variation of the loaves-and-fishes miracle. It ends like this:
Nicephorus is dryly observant, honest, and kind-hearted (and he mostly manages to hang on to his moral compass throughout -- I say mostly; he's surprisingly good at lying by telling the strict truth). Tyun the saint-hunter is harder to describe; he's amoral, he's out for the shiny shiny ducats, and he tells Nicephorus awful stories about his childhood that he later claims he made up, except that occasionally he finds himself unable to maintain a blithe tale-telling air, which suggests that some truth is creeping in around the edges. I was fascinated by the way Anderson depicted the growth of their relationship, with minimal direct narration of their feelings. They talk; they touch each other more than necessary, though only Nicephorus appears to be at all disconcerted by this; most tellingly, we see other people seeing them -- only that; we're not told exactly what they see, only that they see. It's not a "romance" as a 21st-century reader expects a romance to unfold. Rather, Anderson uses storytelling and characterization in a way that feels authentic for the period. (I don't mean that it is authentic, exactly, but it's well suited.)
Perhaps the most astonishing thing about Nicked is that it hews closely -- Tyun's dog-headed pal/crewman Reprobus aside -- to real historical events. Medieval Europeans got up to a lot of shady shenanigans with respect to the touristic value of holy relics, this I knew, but I would have said the story of St. Nicholas's leaky bones was preposterous if Anderson's afterword hadn't set me straight.
A marvel of a book on every level. Thanks to Pantheon and NetGalley for the ARC.
ETA: This is one of those books where it's a bad idea for me to so much as glance in the direction of the negative reviews, because my blood pressure immediately starts climbing. Make of that what you will.
Nicephorus is sent off with Tyun in the good ship, I kid you not, Epiphany.
The subsequent adventures have a picaresque quality -- road trip, mayhem, more mayhem, yet more mayhem. I'm not, in general, a fan of the picaresque; Lazarillo de Tormes et al. bored me to tears. Nicked did not bore me for one single solitary second, however. It's funny, for starters, with just the right touches of bitterness and salt. Take, for instance, the account of how St. Nicholas saved the city of Myra during a famine, by performing a variation of the loaves-and-fishes miracle. It ends like this:
So Myra was saved. I am not sure what they did about the famine down the coast a few miles at Antiphellos or Phoinike.
God’s mercy is infinite— an infinite eye— which, seeing all, favors none, and makes no particular distinction in quality between those who eat and those who starve.
Nicephorus is dryly observant, honest, and kind-hearted (and he mostly manages to hang on to his moral compass throughout -- I say mostly; he's surprisingly good at lying by telling the strict truth). Tyun the saint-hunter is harder to describe; he's amoral, he's out for the shiny shiny ducats, and he tells Nicephorus awful stories about his childhood that he later claims he made up, except that occasionally he finds himself unable to maintain a blithe tale-telling air, which suggests that some truth is creeping in around the edges. I was fascinated by the way Anderson depicted the growth of their relationship, with minimal direct narration of their feelings. They talk; they touch each other more than necessary, though only Nicephorus appears to be at all disconcerted by this; most tellingly, we see other people seeing them -- only that; we're not told exactly what they see, only that they see. It's not a "romance" as a 21st-century reader expects a romance to unfold. Rather, Anderson uses storytelling and characterization in a way that feels authentic for the period. (I don't mean that it is authentic, exactly, but it's well suited.)
Perhaps the most astonishing thing about Nicked is that it hews closely -- Tyun's dog-headed pal/crewman Reprobus aside -- to real historical events. Medieval Europeans got up to a lot of shady shenanigans with respect to the touristic value of holy relics, this I knew, but I would have said the story of St. Nicholas's leaky bones was preposterous if Anderson's afterword hadn't set me straight.
A marvel of a book on every level. Thanks to Pantheon and NetGalley for the ARC.
ETA: This is one of those books where it's a bad idea for me to so much as glance in the direction of the negative reviews, because my blood pressure immediately starts climbing. Make of that what you will.
March 10, 2024
I’m honestly not entirely sure what to think about this book. It almost felt like I was reading two people trying to write the same story, one of whom was a fantastic writer, and then the other person who really didn’t know what they were doing, because I would be getting really invested into the plot, and then a line would come up that would just completely throw me off guard. Not even in a good way. I’m not too sure that “raucous” or “delightfully queer”, both in the synopsis, would be the best ways to describe this book either. The characters are gay (saying gay instead of queer because that is the literal extent of queerness), sure, but I wouldn’t really say that the story itself, or the cast apart from the two main characters is. They also had zero tension, so that may be a major contributor. I liked a lot of the writing, and the plot was really fun at certain points, but I think that that’s about it, and that’s from a lover of heist books, a former Catholic and a queer person. I think at a lot of points the book felt too short to tell what it wanted to tell, and the point of view was always too disconnected to really like the characters.
August 5, 2024
MT Anderson is such a freak (complimentary). This book was so strange and funny and had me looking up definitions of archaic words every other page. There were some passages that just struck me with their beauty while others were so so silly.
I would not have picked up a book about medieval monks by almost any other author, but of course I'm glad I did.
I would not have picked up a book about medieval monks by almost any other author, but of course I'm glad I did.
August 19, 2024
Go on quest to get saint bones. Bunch of things happen but also not really. Never get saint bones.
That's about it. I did not connect with any of the characters. There was no actual chemistry between the two involved in the side-plot romance. There were so many side characters that I got confused but could almost tell the difference between them by the end. Not sure what the message was supposed to be or if there was one. The end note mentioned how there was a lot of research and it was based on a true story so maybe I learned something about history? We'll see if anything sticks.
That's about it. I did not connect with any of the characters. There was no actual chemistry between the two involved in the side-plot romance. There were so many side characters that I got confused but could almost tell the difference between them by the end. Not sure what the message was supposed to be or if there was one. The end note mentioned how there was a lot of research and it was based on a true story so maybe I learned something about history? We'll see if anything sticks.
August 5, 2024
Nicked is an entertaining take on the bizarre but true story of a relic heist. The book follows a group of people on a mission to steal the bones of St. Nicholas from Myra. The author's wit and satirical style will divide readers, I think.
The protagonist, Brother Nicephorus, is a humble monk who dreams of St. Nicholas. Grand adventures aren’t necessarily his passion. But he has no choice. Accompanied by Tyun, a charismatic saint hunter, and Reprobus, his dog-headed companion, Nicephorus is doing his best not to fail. The dynamic and contrast between the earnest monk and the roguish Tyun adds humor to the story and works well most of the time.
I usually enjoy stories that mix humor and seriousness, and Anderson finds a solid balance between satirical commentary and a thoughtful take on faith, morality, and the nature of miracles. It gives Nicked a unique voice, but, honestly, the one I didn’t fully connect with.
I suppose the world-building deserves applause, but I found author’s attention to detail overwhelming. Thankfully, action-packed sequences, from sea battles to cunning deceptions, kept me (mostly) interested.
In summary, Nicked is a good read that combines historical fiction with fantasy and humor. It’s getting rave reviews and while I didn’t enjoy it as much as others, I’ll be the first to admit it’s the classical case of “It’s me, not you”.
If you enjoy well-researched historical adventures with a quirky twist, this book is for you.
The protagonist, Brother Nicephorus, is a humble monk who dreams of St. Nicholas. Grand adventures aren’t necessarily his passion. But he has no choice. Accompanied by Tyun, a charismatic saint hunter, and Reprobus, his dog-headed companion, Nicephorus is doing his best not to fail. The dynamic and contrast between the earnest monk and the roguish Tyun adds humor to the story and works well most of the time.
I usually enjoy stories that mix humor and seriousness, and Anderson finds a solid balance between satirical commentary and a thoughtful take on faith, morality, and the nature of miracles. It gives Nicked a unique voice, but, honestly, the one I didn’t fully connect with.
I suppose the world-building deserves applause, but I found author’s attention to detail overwhelming. Thankfully, action-packed sequences, from sea battles to cunning deceptions, kept me (mostly) interested.
In summary, Nicked is a good read that combines historical fiction with fantasy and humor. It’s getting rave reviews and while I didn’t enjoy it as much as others, I’ll be the first to admit it’s the classical case of “It’s me, not you”.
If you enjoy well-researched historical adventures with a quirky twist, this book is for you.
September 21, 2024
Nicked is a novel about a relic heist based on true events in which a cloistered monk and a relic hunter went on a job to steal the bones of a saint.
This didn’t work for me. I’ve seen many reviews stating the writing will be divisive and I agree wholeheartedly. Sometimes the narration was nice, sometimes it was dry and awkward, I just couldn’t get into the story at all. The book was satiric and I did appreciate how it poked fun at faith, morals, and so-called miracles, but I just couldn’t get into the writing at all.
M.T. Anderson tried something new and it didn’t work for me. It’s not you, it’s me. I did like the little 'surprise' in the ending (and the LGTBQIA+ aspect ofc), so 2.5 rounded up.
Bits I liked:
“God hides secrets around us to remind us that the world itself is a marvel.”
“If this Nicholas job doesn’t work out,” said Tyun, “maybe we can poke through the swamp, find a few gold figurines.”
–
I guess this is what it’s like to be a god, he thought. Airborne, but the little bastards on the ground won’t stop raising their hands in need.
This didn’t work for me. I’ve seen many reviews stating the writing will be divisive and I agree wholeheartedly. Sometimes the narration was nice, sometimes it was dry and awkward, I just couldn’t get into the story at all. The book was satiric and I did appreciate how it poked fun at faith, morals, and so-called miracles, but I just couldn’t get into the writing at all.
M.T. Anderson tried something new and it didn’t work for me. It’s not you, it’s me. I did like the little 'surprise' in the ending (and the LGTBQIA+ aspect ofc), so 2.5 rounded up.
Bits I liked:
“God hides secrets around us to remind us that the world itself is a marvel.”
“If this Nicholas job doesn’t work out,” said Tyun, “maybe we can poke through the swamp, find a few gold figurines.”
–
I guess this is what it’s like to be a god, he thought. Airborne, but the little bastards on the ground won’t stop raising their hands in need.
August 17, 2024
3 stars; I enjoyed this well enough. I don't come across much literary fiction set in the 11th century, much less with an LGBTQ+ angle, so I give the author credit for that. I don't think the book rises to great heights, but I would recommend it to people.
Many thanks to NetGalley and to the publisher for a digital ARC of this book in exchange for my honest opinions.
Many thanks to NetGalley and to the publisher for a digital ARC of this book in exchange for my honest opinions.
February 28, 2024
Honestly more like 4.5, thoughts on that later
A priest, a theif, and a dog-man go on a job to steal the bones of a saint. While it was filled with a bunch of Christian history I won’t pretend to know or understand, the action and adventure in this book was remarkable and absolutely captivating. It’s been a while since I’ve been so invested in an adventure.
I don’t think I know one single person I could pitch this book to, I think it’s because I was so lost on the religious aspect, but! I think the story was so well done and I was so so so invested in every scene.
A priest, a theif, and a dog-man go on a job to steal the bones of a saint. While it was filled with a bunch of Christian history I won’t pretend to know or understand, the action and adventure in this book was remarkable and absolutely captivating. It’s been a while since I’ve been so invested in an adventure.
I don’t think I know one single person I could pitch this book to, I think it’s because I was so lost on the religious aspect, but! I think the story was so well done and I was so so so invested in every scene.
July 24, 2024
Rep: achillean mcs
August 1, 2024
Anderson has provided us a stellar example in Nicked of what is possible when an author cuts out the fluff, cuts out the unnecessary world-building, and gets right to the story.
I'm a sucker for a heist, and this novel gets right to it within the first few pages. What follows is a wonder-filled and incredible account of how the cloistered monk Nicephorus and the impish relic hunter Tyun team up to pull off the impossible: the translation of Saint Nicholas. Historically-based, yet not afraid of coloring in the gaps of what the merry band of marauders likely encountered when they reached Myra with ill-intent.
I couldn't put this book down. Every page pulled me further into the world. Major events and characters are dispensed with in realistic manners, with none of the preciousness which has come to haunt so much writing of our time.
If you want the slowest of burns, the hottest of battle scenes, the darkest of tombs, and all the lies and subterfuge you can handle, this is the book for you. Five amazing stars over Bari.
I'm a sucker for a heist, and this novel gets right to it within the first few pages. What follows is a wonder-filled and incredible account of how the cloistered monk Nicephorus and the impish relic hunter Tyun team up to pull off the impossible: the translation of Saint Nicholas. Historically-based, yet not afraid of coloring in the gaps of what the merry band of marauders likely encountered when they reached Myra with ill-intent.
I couldn't put this book down. Every page pulled me further into the world. Major events and characters are dispensed with in realistic manners, with none of the preciousness which has come to haunt so much writing of our time.
If you want the slowest of burns, the hottest of battle scenes, the darkest of tombs, and all the lies and subterfuge you can handle, this is the book for you. Five amazing stars over Bari.
September 1, 2024
I don't know where to even begin with this. The premise had everything to tease an excellent novel: a medieval heist, a forbidden queer romance between a monk and a reliques thief, religious themes, plenty of room for complex characters, internal dilemmas and contrasts with beliefs and diverse backgrounds, and all that with a sprinkle of historical accuracy– there was literally no way to mess it up. And yet the author managed to make such a cool concept fall flat and frankly quite predictable. To my surprise, the whole story was more action-focused than anything else. The characters were two-dimensional, the writing was very simple, the chemistry between Nicephorus and Tyun was inexistent, and don't even get me started on the author's choice to use slang (insisting on the word CHOICE, because a lot of research and some attempts to keep an archaic language at randoms were made, but the author deliberately decided to go for inaccuracy for the sake of "entertaining" the audience with witty and quirky dialogues); it's 1087, PLEASE stop saying fuck and its variations every five seconds, that doesn't make a character cool and mysterious, it's just infuriating. The contemporary vision cast on the story just made it lack dimension and credibility, watered down for the sake of fitting in the "fast-paced, silly read" category.
I think what disappointed me the most was the lack of an internal dilemma in Nicephorus's character. He was just a surface-level himbo with absolutely no situational awareness. His faith and personal beliefs were barely scratched, which is a shame especially when said character is involved in a gay romance; but that's a personal preference. I guess this book just wasn't my cup of tea.
I think what disappointed me the most was the lack of an internal dilemma in Nicephorus's character. He was just a surface-level himbo with absolutely no situational awareness. His faith and personal beliefs were barely scratched, which is a shame especially when said character is involved in a gay romance; but that's a personal preference. I guess this book just wasn't my cup of tea.
June 22, 2024
Honestly one of the most funnest books I've ever had the pleasure to read this year.
Sacrilegious theft? Epic tales of heroics and thievery? QUEER romance slowly simmering - the treasure hunter shamelessly flirting with the dreamer monk while everyone just stares at them.
PLEASE. The way I ate this book up and immediately went searching on where to pre-order this for a signed copy (Bear Pond Books!)
This story takes place in the 11th century where two cities in Italy race to steal the deceased body of Saint Nicholas. Our two main characters are a monk who had a seemingly prophetic dream of Saint Nicholas and a charismatic flirty treasure hunter who just wants to serve whoever gives him the biggest paycheck. Both are tasked to retrieve the corpse for the city of Bari.
Do you like high-strung adventure and heroics both on land and sea? Do you love sitting by the fire and telling tales of ancient relics and dreams of saints? Did you wish Bilbo and Thorin kissed at that one scene where they hug after Bilbo saves Thorin's life from Azog?
The history in this book was incredible along with all the religious stories interweaved. The twists in this adventure kept me at the edge of my seat throughout the whole book. I'm giving this book 5 perfect stars - I loved the romance, the action, the history, the medieval (kind of confusing) prose, and the characters (even Matteo!!).
Please go check this book out on release date (July 23rd) I need more people talking about this!
Thank you to NetGalley and Pantheon Books for this eARC in exchange for an honest review!
Sacrilegious theft? Epic tales of heroics and thievery? QUEER romance slowly simmering - the treasure hunter shamelessly flirting with the dreamer monk while everyone just stares at them.
PLEASE. The way I ate this book up and immediately went searching on where to pre-order this for a signed copy (Bear Pond Books!)
This story takes place in the 11th century where two cities in Italy race to steal the deceased body of Saint Nicholas. Our two main characters are a monk who had a seemingly prophetic dream of Saint Nicholas and a charismatic flirty treasure hunter who just wants to serve whoever gives him the biggest paycheck. Both are tasked to retrieve the corpse for the city of Bari.
Do you like high-strung adventure and heroics both on land and sea? Do you love sitting by the fire and telling tales of ancient relics and dreams of saints? Did you wish Bilbo and Thorin kissed at that one scene where they hug after Bilbo saves Thorin's life from Azog?
The history in this book was incredible along with all the religious stories interweaved. The twists in this adventure kept me at the edge of my seat throughout the whole book. I'm giving this book 5 perfect stars - I loved the romance, the action, the history, the medieval (kind of confusing) prose, and the characters (even Matteo!!).
Please go check this book out on release date (July 23rd) I need more people talking about this!
Thank you to NetGalley and Pantheon Books for this eARC in exchange for an honest review!
Read
June 2, 2024DNF
This book wasn't for me.
The promised humor apparently went over my head, because I didn't find anything funny.
The language—exposition and dialogue—is an odd mix of old and modern English. I assume this was intentional, though it didn't sit well with me. The setting is supposed to be historical, and the contemporary language kept throwing me off.
The writing, for me, was dry and the characters dull.
*I received an eARC from the publisher, via NetGalley.*
I just couldn't get into the story.
This book wasn't for me.
The promised humor apparently went over my head, because I didn't find anything funny.
The language—exposition and dialogue—is an odd mix of old and modern English. I assume this was intentional, though it didn't sit well with me. The setting is supposed to be historical, and the contemporary language kept throwing me off.
The writing, for me, was dry and the characters dull.
*I received an eARC from the publisher, via NetGalley.*
I just couldn't get into the story.
August 6, 2024
he was arguing with history itself, which once had been wind upon a plain, and now was fallen stone.
well! what a delight this was. m.t. anderson is funny and clever!
I’ve never actually read feed or the octavian nothing books or anything like that, but anderson’s short story “barcarole for paper and bones” from the middle-grade-ish stories-about-stories anthology shelf life: stories by the book, which I first read at age 10 or 11, has stuck in my brain ever since—there are specific lines that I can still summon to memory at will, and indeed sometimes unbidden (“my darling. o, my darling. I am ---------”), although I have forgotten most of the rest of the collection.
although nicked is obviously very different from that story, not least in its intended audience, similar skills are on display here: anderson’s sense of the bizarre, of the hilarity in the horrific.
nicked features a slow circling around of one another by two characters. there is the saint hunter tyun, from whom we typically see impious mendacity used like a lockpick to open doors—
his eyes were wide with piety. “these rough features may speak of the eastern steppe,” he declared, touching his chest, “but christ is engraved within my heart—a christ as white as oyster shells and blond as wheat.” he closed his eyes in reverence.
—and who on rare occasion exposes vulnerable sincerities, scattered like needles let fall:
the saint hunter’s face grew flat. he said, “in my village when I was a child there were many gods. they were all over the place. but I was taken away from there, and as I got older, there were fewer and fewer. once I reached khurasan, there was only one left. and now, finally...they’re all gone. I have none.”
then there is brother nicephorus, our main character, who is terminally incapable of untruth.
the relic thief watched him go. “benedictine?” he asked gallenice, with a nod of his head.
“yeah. nice guy, though.”
these men are very, very, fundamentally different, and the cautious dance between the two of them—as they come together and then spring apart and then warily approach once more—results in a great deal of humor, tension, and mutual intrigue.
the sheep shifted. tyun and nicephorus crawled with them. [...] the monk and the saint hunter stayed low and wormed along the ground.
legs a forest by their heads. “like odysseus and the cyclopes,” said nicephorus.
“why would you say that right now? why do I need that information? are they watching us?”
this is not, to be clear, a romance qua romance; it is an astonishingly well researched account of the 1087 barese expedition to steal st. nicholas(’s deliquescing relics)! and faithful to the spirit of medieval travel narratives, this voyage features, of course, a dog-headed man named reprobus.
the victory feature of one feast, he knew well, was always the corpse of another.
and EXTREMELY importantly (obviously): this book taught me what a troped kyrie was with an embedded example! I mean, we sang “troped kyries” all the time at church growing up, but I only ever knew it as the kyrie, and now I understand the more specific term. shoutout to m.t. anderson’s past as a writer for ya and middle grades. I may have to go back and read everything he’s ever written now.
seriously, though, I think I would recommend this book to like...everyone.
the afternoon falls from the sky.
July 19, 2024
Nicked is a witty queer satirical reimagining of the true historical events from 1087 when an expedition was sent from Bari to steal the sacred corpse of St. Nicholas from the port city of Myra after a failed attempt at bribing the Myra clergy and the guardians of the saint’s tomb. Shortly after, the event was first described by a Benedictine monk, Nicephorus, who is actually the main protagonist of this book.
Anderson wrote a charming story about a mercenary, who loves liberating holy relics from their tombs for a humble price of a small fortune, and a naive, curious and tender-hearted monk, who's coming to understand and accept himself and his own emotions, embarking on a journey across the sea together to commit sacrilege in order to cure Bari from the plague and restore its glory.
To my surprise, most of the plot is very, very closely based on the true events or the legends, from St. Nicholas "allegedly" appearing in a dream to a priest from Bari, confessing to him that "he no longer wishes to remain in Myra", to the details of the heist as well as Bari and Venice both fiercly competing to get their hands on the saint's relics.
This book was one of my most anticipated reads this year, and while it is different than what I expected it to be, it was such a fun, informative read with a cute romance and bizzare plot. I do wish the relationship between Nicephorus and Tyon was more explored, but all in all I enjoyed Nicked quite a lot.
*Thank you to Pantheon and Penguin Random House for providing an ARC of this book in exchange for an honest review.*
Anderson wrote a charming story about a mercenary, who loves liberating holy relics from their tombs for a humble price of a small fortune, and a naive, curious and tender-hearted monk, who's coming to understand and accept himself and his own emotions, embarking on a journey across the sea together to commit sacrilege in order to cure Bari from the plague and restore its glory.
To my surprise, most of the plot is very, very closely based on the true events or the legends, from St. Nicholas "allegedly" appearing in a dream to a priest from Bari, confessing to him that "he no longer wishes to remain in Myra", to the details of the heist as well as Bari and Venice both fiercly competing to get their hands on the saint's relics.
This book was one of my most anticipated reads this year, and while it is different than what I expected it to be, it was such a fun, informative read with a cute romance and bizzare plot. I do wish the relationship between Nicephorus and Tyon was more explored, but all in all I enjoyed Nicked quite a lot.
*Thank you to Pantheon and Penguin Random House for providing an ARC of this book in exchange for an honest review.*
April 6, 2024
A complete delight from start to finish. It's so fun and such a zany caper, and also a really interesting, evocative work of historical fiction, and also full of moments so poignant they took my breath away.
April 22, 2024
the most fun I’ve had reading a book in QUITE some time
November 4, 2024
I ask Saint Nicholas to tell us a tale to pass a winter night, so that when we rise in the morning, we may feel resolute in the new dawn.
[T]his is a story of St. Nicholas, Navigator and Thaumaturge, gift giver and magician, who flies through the snow to remind us of wonder, and of how we deceive the ones we love most into believing in miracles; and how that deception might be a betrayal or, perhaps, a gift in itself.
(This is going to be one of those reviews which are first and foremost excuses for me to enthusiastically point at passages of writing with an unsmotherable grin on my face; look, look, grab these words, the paper in fistfuls, stuff them in your mouth, devour them, BEHOLD! )
'Nicked' is an unlikely picaresque adventure of wonderment, hijinks, sheer audacity, immaculate autism, plans gone awry, God, queer love (or just love, queerly) and awesome emotional depth. It is subtly hilarious, compassionately ironic. M. T. Anderson's has a profound feel for historicity that is embodied in the narrative, an old understanding for the unfurling of subtext, a great capacity for poetic sentiment (which all possessed me and burrowed their way, warmly, as a treasured memory, into my bones when I read 'The Astonishing Life of Octavian Nothing, Traitor to the Nation'.)
I found Anderson's playful approach to history and/in fiction interesting:
I would point to the nature of medieval nonfiction: We have only a few bare sentences in Greek and Persian that cover, for example, the spread of the Seljuks into Lycia; whereas a nation of dog-headed people is attested at length in Herodotus, in the Chinese Classic of Mountains and Seas, and in most Eurasian travel narratives written for the next millennium and a half after them. I wanted to write a historical novel with the love of a good story, incidental detail, and willful inaccuracy demanded by the European Middle Ages themselves.There is something to be learned of in here, and in the dog-men and dragons that here be, in the white spaces of the terras incognitas. For we may all find ourselves lost in time— and in the Land of Darkness you must reach down and grab whatever your fingers find.
____________________________
assorted quotes of tender hurt and wry wonder:
This story is what we recall in giving our children miraculous gifts from the saint: We shall not have to sell you. We will keep the world from you as long as we can. Soon enough, you will have to sell yourselves
... There are those who would devour us; and worse, most of us live by devouring others without ever knowing our sin. We must watch what goes into our mouths and what comes out.
Remember, when you are trapped in this life, that often whatever liberates you, whatever transports you, must drag you by the hair to yank you free.
We are all our own icon, our own avatar; an idol made in our shape, haunted by a spirit longing to intervene in the calamities we witness.
November 4, 2024
again not something i would recommend to the masses bc how do i explain that this is a slow burn btwn a monk and a saint/relic hunter as they embark on a trip to steal saint nicholas’ (santa!!!) remains… and it’s also kind of piratey but also a theological reflection but also comedy… don’t ask, this is so off brand but ate it up nonetheless
August 22, 2024
A bit like The Road to El Dorado except Medieval and canonically queer. In other words, it was perfect. This could very well be the best thing I've read all year.
August 24, 2024
This book was exceptionally silly.
September 3, 2024
This was a bit of a mad cap adventure in 1087 as a monk and a treasure hunter attempt to steal the bones of St. Nicholas. The book is based on real events, but was a bit confusing at times.
August 16, 2024
A cute little saintly heist but boy am I out of touch on archaic language.
October 31, 2024
An intriguing story of a relic heist, based on actual events.
It is 1087, and there is a plague in Bari. A lowly monk has a dream where Saint Nicholas visits him, and Brother Nicephorus' superiors interpret this as something different from him. They want someone to take the bones of Saint Nicholas, which are found in Myra, and bring them to Bari to banish the plague. They employ Tyun, a treasure hunter who has a talent for "liberating" holy relics, and he, Brother Nicephorus and a team head out.
They encounter all sorts of difficulties and dangers, and Nicephorus, the naïve, gentle soul that he is, is increasingly taken with Tyun as they do their best to get past obstacles. There is quiet humour, irony, discussions of philosophy, and an indictment of the venality and cynicism of religious leaders.
It is 1087, and there is a plague in Bari. A lowly monk has a dream where Saint Nicholas visits him, and Brother Nicephorus' superiors interpret this as something different from him. They want someone to take the bones of Saint Nicholas, which are found in Myra, and bring them to Bari to banish the plague. They employ Tyun, a treasure hunter who has a talent for "liberating" holy relics, and he, Brother Nicephorus and a team head out.
They encounter all sorts of difficulties and dangers, and Nicephorus, the naïve, gentle soul that he is, is increasingly taken with Tyun as they do their best to get past obstacles. There is quiet humour, irony, discussions of philosophy, and an indictment of the venality and cynicism of religious leaders.
September 25, 2024
another book that i just did not vibe with
October 13, 2024
short little novels about medieval gay people by writers who live in vermont is a small subgenre but every day we grow stronger
April 20, 2024
Based on real, recorded events, this book should have interested me more. I’m a big fan of M.T. Anderson from the years of reading his books to my kids (we particularly liked his Whales on Stilts series) and I had high hopes for what is billed as his “adult debut”.
Nicked would make a better movie than a novel in my opinion. It is almost non-stop action, which held my attention, but tired me out as a reader. The book tells the story of a lowly monk (Nicephorus) living in a small town (Bari) which is being ravaged by the pox in the year 1087. Nicephorus reports being visited by St. Nicholas in a dream and his superiors interpret this dream as a call to steal the bones of St. Nicholas from a church in Myra who houses them in its tombs. The bones are said to emit a substance that heals the sick, which could save Bari’s population and earn the town renown. A charismatic bone-stealer (Tyun) is called to accompany Nicephorus (“the dreamer”) on the mission and the action is underway.
The full-tilt action and adventure in this tale will appeal to many. Anderson is still the compelling writer that I learned to love through the Whales on Stilts books, plus his YA work Feed and the Octavian Nothing series. I had a hard time connecting to the characters in Nicked as I wanted to, however, and wished the pace could be slowed down to accommodate character development. In the end, I felt rushed to finish the novel…too rushed to appreciate subtleties in the tale. Others love the book, though, so readers should consider that mine is but one opinion.
Thanks to NetGalley and Pantheon for providing me with an e-ARC of this novel.
Nicked would make a better movie than a novel in my opinion. It is almost non-stop action, which held my attention, but tired me out as a reader. The book tells the story of a lowly monk (Nicephorus) living in a small town (Bari) which is being ravaged by the pox in the year 1087. Nicephorus reports being visited by St. Nicholas in a dream and his superiors interpret this dream as a call to steal the bones of St. Nicholas from a church in Myra who houses them in its tombs. The bones are said to emit a substance that heals the sick, which could save Bari’s population and earn the town renown. A charismatic bone-stealer (Tyun) is called to accompany Nicephorus (“the dreamer”) on the mission and the action is underway.
The full-tilt action and adventure in this tale will appeal to many. Anderson is still the compelling writer that I learned to love through the Whales on Stilts books, plus his YA work Feed and the Octavian Nothing series. I had a hard time connecting to the characters in Nicked as I wanted to, however, and wished the pace could be slowed down to accommodate character development. In the end, I felt rushed to finish the novel…too rushed to appreciate subtleties in the tale. Others love the book, though, so readers should consider that mine is but one opinion.
Thanks to NetGalley and Pantheon for providing me with an e-ARC of this novel.
April 15, 2024
*Thank you to the publisher via Netgalley for an e-arc in exchange for an honest review*
I think the central premise of the book was certainly interesting. Apparently this was based off an actual heist that happened, and I appreciated the nods to the moments in history when it happened. Unfortunately, that was kind of the extent to which I enjoyed this novella. This book is written in a pretty dry way--dry humor, dry descriptions--and while I enjoyed a few moments of the humor, the fact that the book was also written in a dry way didn't work for me. I couldn't get invested in the characters or the plot and the "romance" (I can't really call it a full romance because the chemistry wasn't really there and neither was any emotional investment on my part) just didn't feel like it. Plus, there were some moments in the book where the writing was attempting to be archaic and kind of purple-prose-y(?) but left me feeling very, very confused.
Interesting effort, but ultimately not for me and not very enjoyable to read.
I think the central premise of the book was certainly interesting. Apparently this was based off an actual heist that happened, and I appreciated the nods to the moments in history when it happened. Unfortunately, that was kind of the extent to which I enjoyed this novella. This book is written in a pretty dry way--dry humor, dry descriptions--and while I enjoyed a few moments of the humor, the fact that the book was also written in a dry way didn't work for me. I couldn't get invested in the characters or the plot and the "romance" (I can't really call it a full romance because the chemistry wasn't really there and neither was any emotional investment on my part) just didn't feel like it. Plus, there were some moments in the book where the writing was attempting to be archaic and kind of purple-prose-y(?) but left me feeling very, very confused.
Interesting effort, but ultimately not for me and not very enjoyable to read.
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