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The Birth Partner: A Complete Guide to Childbirth for Dads, Doulas, and Other Labor Companions
Since the original publication of The Birth Partner in 1989, new mothers' mates, friends, and relatives and doulas (professional birth assistants) have relied on Penny Simkin's guidance in caring for the new mother from the last few weeks of pregnancy through the early postpartum period. Fully revised in its third edition, The Birth Partner remains the definitive guide for preparing to help a woman through childbirth and the essential manual to have at hand during the event.This completely updated edition includes thorough information Preparing for labor and knowing when it has begun; Normal labor and how to help the woman every step of the way; Epidurals and other medications for labor; Non-drug techniques for easing labor pain; Cesarean birth and complications that may require it; Breastfeeding and newborn care; And much more.For the partner who wishes to be truly helpful in the birthing room, this book is indispensable.
398 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 1989
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 726 reviews
February 28, 2022
If you get this book, I highly recommend getting the 4th version or earlier. I had the unpleasant experience of reading the 5th version and it is so soaked in politically correct jargon, it makes it a little hard to read.
The authors refuse to use the term "mother" to describe the human being that is giving birth to the baby. I am not joking. They refer to her as "birthing person", "laboring person" or even "lactating person". Once again, I am not joking. This is seriously how this book is written.
It not only makes the sentences awkward and hard to read, but it is also very offensive to every mother everywhere. Motherhood is a beautiful thing and it is diminished by this language. I am not sure who they are trying not to offend by making the language extremely confusing. But I am sure that they they are offending a much larger portion of the population by doing this.
The authors refuse to use the term "mother" to describe the human being that is giving birth to the baby. I am not joking. They refer to her as "birthing person", "laboring person" or even "lactating person". Once again, I am not joking. This is seriously how this book is written.
It not only makes the sentences awkward and hard to read, but it is also very offensive to every mother everywhere. Motherhood is a beautiful thing and it is diminished by this language. I am not sure who they are trying not to offend by making the language extremely confusing. But I am sure that they they are offending a much larger portion of the population by doing this.
June 29, 2018
This is a really fantastic resource for any person in a supportive role to a pregnant woman.
The book goes into explicit but easily digestible detail of pregnancy, different types of labor, the types of support one can offer in labor, what you'll encounter in a home birth vs a hospital birth, basic baby care after the birth, and caring for the mother throughout the entire process.
It also covers the different styles of birth from home births to hospitals and natural labor to different medications that can be used. The tone of the book is really open and doesn't push any agenda of which way is better over another. Instead, pros and cons are laid out for each, and the book is really educational so that the mother and partner can make informed decisions. It's very pro-mother and its theme is that the mother's choices are the right choices for her.
As a co-mother, I found the book to be inclusive of different support partners, as well.
The book also offers a ton of resources with a number of links to videos, references to websites and other books.
It's really a must-have read.
The book goes into explicit but easily digestible detail of pregnancy, different types of labor, the types of support one can offer in labor, what you'll encounter in a home birth vs a hospital birth, basic baby care after the birth, and caring for the mother throughout the entire process.
It also covers the different styles of birth from home births to hospitals and natural labor to different medications that can be used. The tone of the book is really open and doesn't push any agenda of which way is better over another. Instead, pros and cons are laid out for each, and the book is really educational so that the mother and partner can make informed decisions. It's very pro-mother and its theme is that the mother's choices are the right choices for her.
As a co-mother, I found the book to be inclusive of different support partners, as well.
The book also offers a ton of resources with a number of links to videos, references to websites and other books.
It's really a must-have read.
March 14, 2016
Great book on childbirth. She is pro-natural childbirth and I think it shows, but she gives a fairly unbiased view of medical interventions and their pros and cons. Would recommend this to anyone having a baby, borrowed it from the library but I think this is going to be one to own! George will definitely be reading.
October 18, 2009
I can't say strongly enough how indispensable this book is to both partners and mothers. After and with Ina May Gaskin's Guide to Childbirth, for me this is the book to read if you're going to be involved in a birth. It has played about the same role for me that the Boy Scout Handbook did when I started camping. Life is easier if you know the taut line hitch; same with the techniques and info in this book.
November 25, 2013
One of the better books I've read for dads. It focuses on concrete information instead making inane jokes and treating men as beer-guzzling lug heads.
August 6, 2022
The overall tone of this book was extremely reassuring, even while discussing possible complications and things not going as planned.
What I enjoyed most: each section of the book (covering a different stage of birth) talked about what the person giving birth might be feeling, and what the birth partner (i.e. me) might be feeling. These were total spectrums, from abject panic to a flood of excitement. This was informed by the co-authors' experience as doulas (not any more-stale clinical data), and I think was most useful for me to hear.
In addition to the content being polished and well-organized, the authors adopted gender- and role-neutral language in this 5th edition. "Mother and father" are replaced with "person giving birth and birth partner" or "pregnant person and co-parent". This took just a page or two to get used to, but I think was a terrific choice. In addition to making the book much more accessible to people who are in the LGBTQ community, unloading gender and parenting roles from a book about *birth* helps the reader focus on the *birth* and not all the obligations that come after that. (Discussed with Robyn while typing and she agreed: "I'm reading another book that uses the term 'birthing mother' instead of 'birthing person' and it gives me a lot more anxiety. I have to be a mother after this!?")
One detail I found very funny and also extremely useful was a high number of unsubtle hints addressed to the reader/birth partner to BRING A TOOTHBRUSH and keep their breath in check 😂
What I enjoyed most: each section of the book (covering a different stage of birth) talked about what the person giving birth might be feeling, and what the birth partner (i.e. me) might be feeling. These were total spectrums, from abject panic to a flood of excitement. This was informed by the co-authors' experience as doulas (not any more-stale clinical data), and I think was most useful for me to hear.
In addition to the content being polished and well-organized, the authors adopted gender- and role-neutral language in this 5th edition. "Mother and father" are replaced with "person giving birth and birth partner" or "pregnant person and co-parent". This took just a page or two to get used to, but I think was a terrific choice. In addition to making the book much more accessible to people who are in the LGBTQ community, unloading gender and parenting roles from a book about *birth* helps the reader focus on the *birth* and not all the obligations that come after that. (Discussed with Robyn while typing and she agreed: "I'm reading another book that uses the term 'birthing mother' instead of 'birthing person' and it gives me a lot more anxiety. I have to be a mother after this!?")
One detail I found very funny and also extremely useful was a high number of unsubtle hints addressed to the reader/birth partner to BRING A TOOTHBRUSH and keep their breath in check 😂
August 2, 2022
If you write an entire book on pregnancy, delivery, and birth, yet you never mention the word “woman” then you have completely missed the mark.
A woman’s body is specifically made to create and sustain life.
If you ignore this fact—no matter how many scientific facts and information you provide—you’re doing a disservice to and undervaluing women.
Ladies, we should be humbled and empowered by the gift God has uniquely given us to create and sustain life. The more I read about pregnancy, delivery, and the resulting babies I am in awe of God.
Recently, a friend commented on seeing a premature baby born into the world at 28 weeks. She said, “I saw those teeny tiny fingers and how perfect and beautifully woven they were. How could I not see God?”
Next time you pick up a book on birth… maybe choose one that will actually acknowledge the woman and the awe inspiring process of a life being brought into the world.
***I read the 5th edition of this book***
A woman’s body is specifically made to create and sustain life.
If you ignore this fact—no matter how many scientific facts and information you provide—you’re doing a disservice to and undervaluing women.
Ladies, we should be humbled and empowered by the gift God has uniquely given us to create and sustain life. The more I read about pregnancy, delivery, and the resulting babies I am in awe of God.
Recently, a friend commented on seeing a premature baby born into the world at 28 weeks. She said, “I saw those teeny tiny fingers and how perfect and beautifully woven they were. How could I not see God?”
Next time you pick up a book on birth… maybe choose one that will actually acknowledge the woman and the awe inspiring process of a life being brought into the world.
***I read the 5th edition of this book***
July 7, 2022
Get the 4th edition
The info is valid and helpful, but the dancing around the words “mother” and “woman” and “her” is distracting. Get the 4th edition if you want a straightforward read.
The info is valid and helpful, but the dancing around the words “mother” and “woman” and “her” is distracting. Get the 4th edition if you want a straightforward read.
March 26, 2017
This is the first book I've read that is specifically geared towards the labor support person. I found the author very pro-birth, pro-momma, and extremely helpful in advice giving for natural deliveries. She gives straight forward advice, as well as risks/benefits of medical interventions.
I have worked as labor and delivery nurse for 5 yrs and a Childbirth Educator for 3. I think this book would be an excellent addition to the labor and delivery nurse orientation at hospitals. Basic descriptions of laboring positions and reasoning behind them. I found this book a fantastic resource and look forward to implementing some of the material into my Childbirth Classes!
I have worked as labor and delivery nurse for 5 yrs and a Childbirth Educator for 3. I think this book would be an excellent addition to the labor and delivery nurse orientation at hospitals. Basic descriptions of laboring positions and reasoning behind them. I found this book a fantastic resource and look forward to implementing some of the material into my Childbirth Classes!
January 11, 2021
This is a good, practical book for expecting mothers and spouses. It was easy to read. I recommend the 3rd edition over the newest (5th I think) because I saw that in the newer edition, the wording of “mother” is changed to “birthing person” to be more inclusive and it cumbersome to read. Not to mention ridiculous.
March 3, 2014
The start ratings for these "getting ready to birth a human" books is kind of silly. For those interested, a few quick thoughts on this book though.
What I enjoyed about this book was that it did a pretty good job of giving lots of details on what to expect during the birth. It also seemed to have lots of additional information for people who have non-standard birth plans (home births, etc.) Those sections did not apply to my partner and I, so I cannot speak as to how helpful they were.
The biggest thing I disliked about this book was a pervasive tone that indicated a severe distrust of the medical establishment. Lots of the sections would disparage medical practices or even warn that your provider may try to railroad you away from what the book viewed as "good" choices. Even granting that I have not been through the process of having a child, and thus the book may be correct in many areas, I did not think that taking such an antagonistic tone was very helpful in instilling the mindset that I'm guessing most parents will need to get through a birth.
What I enjoyed about this book was that it did a pretty good job of giving lots of details on what to expect during the birth. It also seemed to have lots of additional information for people who have non-standard birth plans (home births, etc.) Those sections did not apply to my partner and I, so I cannot speak as to how helpful they were.
The biggest thing I disliked about this book was a pervasive tone that indicated a severe distrust of the medical establishment. Lots of the sections would disparage medical practices or even warn that your provider may try to railroad you away from what the book viewed as "good" choices. Even granting that I have not been through the process of having a child, and thus the book may be correct in many areas, I did not think that taking such an antagonistic tone was very helpful in instilling the mindset that I'm guessing most parents will need to get through a birth.
December 19, 2015
Well, I read this (excellent) book cover to cover. With its knowledge firmly in place, I guess I'm about as ready as I'll ever be for the forthcoming birth of my daughter!
August 5, 2022
EVERYTHING you ever might want to know about the days leading up to labour, the labour process, and the first few postpartum weeks. This was recommended by a friend and also our doula. While it's technically written towards the audience of the partner of the person giving birth I found it incredibly comprehensive and useful as the person who will be giving birth as well.
While it doesn't beat around the bush about encouraging one to only use medically necessary interventions, it doesn't have a judgey tone and is really more about informing you about the risks and benefits of various interventions so you can make decisions and a birth plan from an educated place rather than in the moment or just deferring to the doctor or nurse's recommendations (but definitely emphasizes there are situations that may come up where you do just need to defer to the caregiver's recommendations).
Would recommend to anyone giving birth and their partner, including if it's a second/third etc birth but you didn't feel super informed going into the first one. I definitely feel more confident about making decisions for my birth plan after reading this book.
Also this book made me SO relieved that we hired a doula as there's no way we could remember everything we might want to from this book, but gives me great peace of mind that we'll have someone with us during labour and delivery who essentially has all this info memorized!
While it doesn't beat around the bush about encouraging one to only use medically necessary interventions, it doesn't have a judgey tone and is really more about informing you about the risks and benefits of various interventions so you can make decisions and a birth plan from an educated place rather than in the moment or just deferring to the doctor or nurse's recommendations (but definitely emphasizes there are situations that may come up where you do just need to defer to the caregiver's recommendations).
Would recommend to anyone giving birth and their partner, including if it's a second/third etc birth but you didn't feel super informed going into the first one. I definitely feel more confident about making decisions for my birth plan after reading this book.
Also this book made me SO relieved that we hired a doula as there's no way we could remember everything we might want to from this book, but gives me great peace of mind that we'll have someone with us during labour and delivery who essentially has all this info memorized!
Read
April 14, 2024Very helpful if you, like me, are going to be attending a birth soon (?!?). I appreciated the birth-positive tone throughout, as well as the updated language in this edition to be more gender-neutral (though I wish there were more anecdotes from LGBTQ+ couples). Overall, a super important resource with clear, easy to follow reference sections for things you might want to refer to during labor.
January 15, 2024
A terrific resource for soon-to-be dads, or anyone assisting at a birth. It's comprehensive enough to be helpful to the pregnant woman, as well, making it a great book to read together. It leans toward promoting unmedicated birth, but is balanced overall.
Notice the use of the phrase "pregnant woman" - I got my hands on a 4th edition (aka the pre-"laboring person" edition) of this book at a thrift store so the sex of the person carrying the pregnancy was, thankfully, affirmed throughout.
Notice the use of the phrase "pregnant woman" - I got my hands on a 4th edition (aka the pre-"laboring person" edition) of this book at a thrift store so the sex of the person carrying the pregnancy was, thankfully, affirmed throughout.
July 23, 2012
THE best labour and childbirth book I've read to date. While this one is very much for the support person, not the labouring mother, I think mothers, father, doulas, grandmothers-planning-on-being-at-the birth, and labour and delivery nurses would all benefit from reading.
I particularly appreciated the very balanced perspective Simpkin takes on "natural" birth versus medicated birth versus planned induction or c-section. I think she comes as close as anyone could to presenting an unbiased perspective.
The only bias that she clearly presents is arguing fully in favour of a labouring mother having the assistance of a doula. She argues that labours are easier, shorter, more manageable and both mother and father feel more empowered with the assistance of a doula.
And having been both the recipient and giver of doula-like assistance (though not DONA-trained) I can concur that there certainly is a place for doulas in the delivery room (or home, in the case of a homebirth).
I particularly appreciated the very balanced perspective Simpkin takes on "natural" birth versus medicated birth versus planned induction or c-section. I think she comes as close as anyone could to presenting an unbiased perspective.
The only bias that she clearly presents is arguing fully in favour of a labouring mother having the assistance of a doula. She argues that labours are easier, shorter, more manageable and both mother and father feel more empowered with the assistance of a doula.
And having been both the recipient and giver of doula-like assistance (though not DONA-trained) I can concur that there certainly is a place for doulas in the delivery room (or home, in the case of a homebirth).
September 27, 2023
Doula check
April 11, 2024
Ready for my Doula training! 🥰
May 9, 2023
A very informative book about supporting someone through the birthing process. While most baby books focus on the person giving birth, this one focused on the father's or supporting person's role. I liked how the book walks through the entire birth process from start to finish and clearly states what the birthing person will be doing/feeling, what the caretakers will be doing, and what the birth partner can do to help during each stage. There were tons of helpful tips that I will be implementing when my wife gives birth within the next month or so. This book definitely helped ease some of my anxieties about the birthing process and I'd definitely recommend it to anyone first-time fathers.
November 14, 2023
Actually fire
May 10, 2024
This was a very helpful book to read as I prepare to support my wife in her low intervention birth for the second time.
4-stars because it continually calls mother's "birthing-persons".
A LOT of information. There is no way to reasonably retain this book. I have even been through this process before and still struggled to know what she was talking about. This is a great reference work for after you've finished the book to refresh yourself on ideas.
Please just employ a Doula, they are very competent and know all of this.
If you are a Dad reading this: good for you, way to step up and be a supportive husband.
4-stars because it continually calls mother's "birthing-persons".
A LOT of information. There is no way to reasonably retain this book. I have even been through this process before and still struggled to know what she was talking about. This is a great reference work for after you've finished the book to refresh yourself on ideas.
Please just employ a Doula, they are very competent and know all of this.
If you are a Dad reading this: good for you, way to step up and be a supportive husband.
March 2, 2024
Helpful
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
February 17, 2010
This is my sixth childbirth that I am preparing to attend, so I guess I could say I am somewhat of an expert at being a birth partner!
If you are looking forward to a child birth and are wondering how to support the mother during the process, this is the book to get! It quickly tell you pretty much everything you need to know.
I especially liked this book because Penny Simkin covers the wide range of birth choices without coming off as judgemental. The only time she is critical is when she points out medical practices that are no longer supported by science (such as not allowing women to eat solid foods during labor) or the harsh judgements from adherants to particular birth practices. In Penny's view, it is all about choices and making informed decisions. She encourages this by talking about the pros and cons of every major birth decision and presents the facts honestly.
Having been to many births, I felt that Ms. Simkin covers all the bases- from what things to gather beforehand, to what can happen during labor, and even to what could go wrong and how to prepare for that. She even has chapters at the end about breast feeding and postpartum issues. She writes all of this advice in very plain, easy to understand english. The book is also specially marked so that certain important sections are easy to find in a hurry.
I recommend this book for anyone preparing for a child birth, regardless of your birth preferences. In fact, I think it would make a great gift.
If you are looking forward to a child birth and are wondering how to support the mother during the process, this is the book to get! It quickly tell you pretty much everything you need to know.
I especially liked this book because Penny Simkin covers the wide range of birth choices without coming off as judgemental. The only time she is critical is when she points out medical practices that are no longer supported by science (such as not allowing women to eat solid foods during labor) or the harsh judgements from adherants to particular birth practices. In Penny's view, it is all about choices and making informed decisions. She encourages this by talking about the pros and cons of every major birth decision and presents the facts honestly.
Having been to many births, I felt that Ms. Simkin covers all the bases- from what things to gather beforehand, to what can happen during labor, and even to what could go wrong and how to prepare for that. She even has chapters at the end about breast feeding and postpartum issues. She writes all of this advice in very plain, easy to understand english. The book is also specially marked so that certain important sections are easy to find in a hurry.
I recommend this book for anyone preparing for a child birth, regardless of your birth preferences. In fact, I think it would make a great gift.
October 18, 2021
I just finished reading the first half of this book in preparation for my wife's second birth, and found it to be a helpful reference with lots of good information and advice--seemingly too much information at times, in fact. I know there's much in here I wish I'd read before the birth of my first child, particularly the section on rapid births, and Simkin's repeated advice to hire a doula. My wife and I just purchased a copy of this book to have on hand as we--Lord willing--continue to have children; I trust it will prove a valuable resource over the years.
Note that the latest edition, the 5th, has apparently been thoroughly edited to reflect a politically correct agenda (e.g., it refers to mothers as "birthing persons," and avoids use of gender-specific pronouns). While the 3rd edition does contain some politically correct content (e.g., in addition to fathers, it lists "lesbian lovers" once as a possible birth partner), it is not nearly to the same degree seemingly as the 5th edition. It's for this reason that I chose to read and purchase the older 3rd edition.
Note that the latest edition, the 5th, has apparently been thoroughly edited to reflect a politically correct agenda (e.g., it refers to mothers as "birthing persons," and avoids use of gender-specific pronouns). While the 3rd edition does contain some politically correct content (e.g., in addition to fathers, it lists "lesbian lovers" once as a possible birth partner), it is not nearly to the same degree seemingly as the 5th edition. It's for this reason that I chose to read and purchase the older 3rd edition.
October 19, 2021
My friend (studying to become a doula) gifted me this book. I discussed with her how I wanted to try an unmedicated, natural birth but I am only comfortable birthing in a hospital setting with an OB present. I also do not feel comfortable hiring a doula due to COVID and general self-reliance that my husband and I can get though the birthing process as a family, while advocating for ourselves and our desired birth plan.
The author (who is a doula) telling the reader that they couldn’t possibly give birth without a doula. I’m not trying to say the position of doula isn’t useful, and it really threw me for the rest of the book. I marked the pain mitigation techniques offered in the book to resource later.
The author (who is a doula) telling the reader that they couldn’t possibly give birth without a doula. I’m not trying to say the position of doula isn’t useful, and it really threw me for the rest of the book. I marked the pain mitigation techniques offered in the book to resource later.
March 19, 2017
This book seems super helpful. I like that it lays outs really detailed, specific and accessible information about what to expect during birth. But that it also includes a lot of information about how the birthing person and the support/companion person might *feel* in response to particular scenarios. I feel better prepared for our birth as a result of this book.
Cons: really gendered language around the gestational parent. Could be more inclusive of families other than the heteronormative.
Cons: really gendered language around the gestational parent. Could be more inclusive of families other than the heteronormative.
July 15, 2017
I read the 4th edition of The Birth Partner. Well-written book with many quick, easily digestible summaries for a lay-person (like me) to understand the many aspects of pregnancy, birth, and newborn care that an individual and partner may experience. Needless to say, I have bookmarked many pages for quick reference as my wife and I enter the final stages of pregnancy and prepare for life as first-time parents.
August 20, 2007
Though the majority of people that I know who own this book are doulas, this book is made for anyone who is going to support someone through pregnancy and labor. It is really basic and very detail oriented. I usually use this book as a reference guide while working with women in labor doing doula work, and its amazing for that! Theres really no other book like it.
August 4, 2018
A fantastic, detail-rich guide preparing those planning to play a support role during a birth. The book makes for slow reading at times per its density, but Simpkin’s thoroughness is to be respected. Only three stars instead of four because of countless truly atrocious typographical errors—this book is in its fourth edition!—which at times were laughable and at other times infuriating.
April 4, 2022
A good book for dad‘s who want to wrap their mind around the many details of childbirth. The fifth edition is almost unbearable to read or listen to as they replace “mother” and “woman” with “birthing person.” There’s also a surprise word swap in the ending chapters too.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 726 reviews