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Little Bird Lost
I'm the one they've been waiting for...
Tick, tick, tick…
He calls himself the Fowler, and this is his Aviary—
a lavish mansion buried deep within an endless wintry forest,
where the wicked elite gather to play their depraved games.
He calls us his Flock—
Me and his three sons, Corvin, Ezio, and Aquillus.
My jailers.
My tormentors.
My salvation.
They hold the keys to my cage.
They keep me sane.
I can’t let this place get to me. I can’t let them into my head.
But when the line between good and evil blurs in this never-ending nightmare—
Who will be left standing?
The girl I was…
Or the Firebird they turned me into.
“There is only one way out of the Aviary, my dear.
Be it by wings or ash.”
Little Bird Lost is a full-length, dark romantic thriller/horror novel inspired by the golden bird/firebird fairytales and folklore. It is NOT fantasy or a literal retelling. It contains mature language, themes, and content that may not be suitable for all readers. Reader discretion is advised.
Tick, tick, tick…
He calls himself the Fowler, and this is his Aviary—
a lavish mansion buried deep within an endless wintry forest,
where the wicked elite gather to play their depraved games.
He calls us his Flock—
Me and his three sons, Corvin, Ezio, and Aquillus.
My jailers.
My tormentors.
They hold the keys to my cage.
I can’t let this place get to me. I can’t let them into my head.
But when the line between good and evil blurs in this never-ending nightmare—
Who will be left standing?
The girl I was…
Or the Firebird they turned me into.
“There is only one way out of the Aviary, my dear.
Be it by wings or ash.”
Little Bird Lost is a full-length, dark romantic thriller/horror novel inspired by the golden bird/firebird fairytales and folklore. It is NOT fantasy or a literal retelling. It contains mature language, themes, and content that may not be suitable for all readers. Reader discretion is advised.
811 pages, Kindle Edition
First published March 18, 2023
About the author
Jessie Walker
12 books1,076 followersJessie Walker is an indie author of queer love stories based out of Scranton, Pennsylvania, where she lives with her long-time partner and fur-spawn. Drawn to all things dark and twisted, she likes to pretend she's not the hopeless romantic at heart that she is. She has ADHD and a background in psychology/mental health services, both of which contribute greatly to her storytelling and the themes of her long-winded, character-driven works. When she's not drudging away at a keyboard, there's a very good chance you'll find her vegged out on her couch, listening to sad '90s grunge, and day dreamin’ about the all the stories crowding her brain.
Random Facts About Me
Scorpio Sun | Aries Moon | Scorpio Rising
The most socially anxious ENFP you'll ever meet.
Chaotic AF because decisioning and planning is hard.
Random Facts About Me
Scorpio Sun | Aries Moon | Scorpio Rising
The most socially anxious ENFP you'll ever meet.
Chaotic AF because decisioning and planning is hard.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 349 reviews
February 13, 2024
this was a book i lived, experienced and felt with all my heart. i couldn’t tear my eyes from the book for even a moment. but i would recommend that people go in with an open mind and without spoilers (yes, it’s me, hi, telling everyone to go in without spoilers when i check spoilers for every book before going in), and definitely check triggers before starting. this is going to be a tale not everyone is going to love, i already know that.
this was a very dark, harrowing and haunting book about a girl who goes through so much pain and heartbreak. what she went through was a nightmare in every sense of the word. and then, meeting them. her flock. her torturers. her cagers. her abusers. and later, her people. her family.
the writing was incredibly immersing, just like in the will and way duet. it was so easy to read, that’s why i loved it so much—it was beautiful and simplistic and yet gorgeously evocative. it kept me so invested, unable to peel my eyes away even when the worst things were happening. and honestly the characters? were beautifully fleshed out. they all had so much depth to them, each and every single one of them.
just expect the unexpected—because that ending was one i was not expecting at all, and which i will elaborate more on in the spoilery section of this review—and the unconventional.
and i have to say one thing to those people who loved will and way but don’t wanna go into this because it’s poly—read it if only for *certain* scenes 😌 because even i don’t read poly much, but one plot twist had me gasping and left me reeling (thank god i didn’t read spoilers for what happened).
full on spoiler zone, proceed with caution ⚠️
i’m not gonna lie, i wasn’t completely invested in the book itself until *that* part happened and then i just sat up straight because what the fuck. i was expecting izzy to be alive and everything, but i didn’t expect her to be the main character of this, so what. mind. blown. in the best way.
✧ seeing my babies—mason, jeremy and way—and their dynamics was so fascinating here in the past. how izzy and jeremy used to have each other’s backs with everything, how they were so playful each other, it’s so breathtaking to see. and tragic.
✧ the love that mason and izzy shared was wholly innocent and pure, untainted. now i get why mason and izzy wouldn’t last after what happened to her and what changed—because now that she’d stared darkness right in the face, she couldn’t unsee it. and she belonged with her flock, not with mason. even though he was her childhood sweetheart, he couldn’t see all the different parts of her any longer and love her all the more for them because of what she had gone through during this time. he couldn’t empathize or put himself in her situation because he’d never gone through anything like that. that filled in a lot of my doubts about how she disappeared, what happened to her, and for that reason alone i’d recommend reading it. mason and izzy were almost like best friends here, flirting playfully. maybe in another life, they would’ve been soulmates, lovers forever intwined. they were young, but their love could’ve survived, had what she just went through not happened. unfortunately that wasn’t the case, however.
✧ i just want more masonjeremy though 😭 that moment when izzy said “he’s got you so whipped” to mason—he meaning jeremy—i squealed a little. i’m not gonna lie though, i have a feeling masonjeremy aren’t gonna hit as well for me because after a few snippets i’ve seen, i’m afraid i can’t believe in mason’s devotion to jeremy as much as jeremy pines away for him. i need more mcs to fight for each other and unless mason proves himself, i won’t be able to root for them.
✧ i feel like during the events of this—before izzy vanished and got kidnapped—jeremy wasn’t pining for mason or anything. it was probably only after she died that jeremy connected with mason over the grief and pain of losing her, and then realized that he unequivocally had feelings for mason too and started feeling guilty about it. their interactions before that seemed so playful and friendly.
✧ that hospital scene?? what the fuck was that?? pure pain—i honestly wanted a chapter from mason’s point of view too because i wanted to know exactly what he was thinking at that point. at least eba is next so i don’t have to wait much longer for his thoughts, hopefully.
now for the characters in this book. i’m literally rambling about the characters in the other series lmao but i have to say, i love it when crossovers like this happen when i’m invested in both sets of characters.
✧ corvin. he had me eyeing myself for a moment because do i believe in his redemption? still debatable. he has potential but i’m hoping he’ll redeem himself more in my eyes by groveling at least a little, even though i know it’s not in his nature. the way he took care of izzy and his family (i’m not gonna call them his brothers because that makes it weirder than it already is) was just perfect ugh 😩 i don’t care what he did, he loved them all first. he had to rape izzy all so that his family wouldn’t get hurt more. and when he finally begged ember/izzy and told her it wasn’t all a lie, i felt that. 😭 stories like this are always super controversial, i know that, but somehow i like indulging in them sometimes to see the depravity people have sometimes and the moral dilemma that pops up when situations like this occur.
✧ ezio. he was so sweet and flirty and playful, the most *innocent* of all of them, and i liked that. i loved how he was one of the first ones to truly stand up for izzy, to care about her and her choices and ultimately what she wanted to do. i loved how that place didn’t take away the essence of who he was, even though it stole away a piece of him all the same.
✧ aquillas. the man had gone through so much sexual assault and torture, i feel like he deserves a trophy. no wonder he never spoke. i felt for him, hell, all of them so much.
the fowler was an extremely foul man and that’s all i’m going to say about that. though the wolf, lycus, was even worse. they don’t deserve any of my words. fuck y’all. go to hell.
the symbolism in this? perfection. it literally showcased all of them with their personalities, and the tale was so haunting. the firebird—izzy/ember, the crow—corvin, the eagles—aquillas and ezio.
the dynamics between aquillas and corvin?? i wasn’t expecting it but i loved it. i felt like corvin melted with aquillas while he was brought out of his shell by ember, and i loved that.
i was also very worried close to the end because i thought something was going to happen—like the “it was all just in her head” bullshit and thankfully, that didn’t. but it left me with questions and now i can’t wait to see the answers.
spoilers end! ⚠️
the ending was very... ambiguous. i wasn’t completely satisfied, and that is one of the reasons i didn’t fully love this. i got why it was the way it was, though. this was more of the story of the firebird, how she was first caged, tortured, brutalized, and then finally, spread her wings and soared & flew.
“I am Ember,” I whisper.
And I was forged to make the world burn.
this was a very dark, harrowing and haunting book about a girl who goes through so much pain and heartbreak. what she went through was a nightmare in every sense of the word. and then, meeting them. her flock. her torturers. her cagers. her abusers. and later, her people. her family.
One cannot awaken, until they first suffer.
One cannot fly, until they first burn.
the writing was incredibly immersing, just like in the will and way duet. it was so easy to read, that’s why i loved it so much—it was beautiful and simplistic and yet gorgeously evocative. it kept me so invested, unable to peel my eyes away even when the worst things were happening. and honestly the characters? were beautifully fleshed out. they all had so much depth to them, each and every single one of them.
We are all.
We are many.
And we are one.
Flock, flock, flock.
just expect the unexpected—because that ending was one i was not expecting at all, and which i will elaborate more on in the spoilery section of this review—and the unconventional.
and i have to say one thing to those people who loved will and way but don’t wanna go into this because it’s poly—read it if only for *certain* scenes 😌 because even i don’t read poly much, but one plot twist had me gasping and left me reeling (thank god i didn’t read spoilers for what happened).
full on spoiler zone, proceed with caution ⚠️
i’m not gonna lie, i wasn’t completely invested in the book itself until *that* part happened and then i just sat up straight because what the fuck. i was expecting izzy to be alive and everything, but i didn’t expect her to be the main character of this, so what. mind. blown. in the best way.
✧ seeing my babies—mason, jeremy and way—and their dynamics was so fascinating here in the past. how izzy and jeremy used to have each other’s backs with everything, how they were so playful each other, it’s so breathtaking to see. and tragic.
✧ the love that mason and izzy shared was wholly innocent and pure, untainted. now i get why mason and izzy wouldn’t last after what happened to her and what changed—because now that she’d stared darkness right in the face, she couldn’t unsee it. and she belonged with her flock, not with mason. even though he was her childhood sweetheart, he couldn’t see all the different parts of her any longer and love her all the more for them because of what she had gone through during this time. he couldn’t empathize or put himself in her situation because he’d never gone through anything like that. that filled in a lot of my doubts about how she disappeared, what happened to her, and for that reason alone i’d recommend reading it. mason and izzy were almost like best friends here, flirting playfully. maybe in another life, they would’ve been soulmates, lovers forever intwined. they were young, but their love could’ve survived, had what she just went through not happened. unfortunately that wasn’t the case, however.
✧ i just want more masonjeremy though 😭 that moment when izzy said “he’s got you so whipped” to mason—he meaning jeremy—i squealed a little. i’m not gonna lie though, i have a feeling masonjeremy aren’t gonna hit as well for me because after a few snippets i’ve seen, i’m afraid i can’t believe in mason’s devotion to jeremy as much as jeremy pines away for him. i need more mcs to fight for each other and unless mason proves himself, i won’t be able to root for them.
✧ i feel like during the events of this—before izzy vanished and got kidnapped—jeremy wasn’t pining for mason or anything. it was probably only after she died that jeremy connected with mason over the grief and pain of losing her, and then realized that he unequivocally had feelings for mason too and started feeling guilty about it. their interactions before that seemed so playful and friendly.
✧ that hospital scene?? what the fuck was that?? pure pain—i honestly wanted a chapter from mason’s point of view too because i wanted to know exactly what he was thinking at that point. at least eba is next so i don’t have to wait much longer for his thoughts, hopefully.
now for the characters in this book. i’m literally rambling about the characters in the other series lmao but i have to say, i love it when crossovers like this happen when i’m invested in both sets of characters.
✧ corvin. he had me eyeing myself for a moment because do i believe in his redemption? still debatable. he has potential but i’m hoping he’ll redeem himself more in my eyes by groveling at least a little, even though i know it’s not in his nature. the way he took care of izzy and his family (i’m not gonna call them his brothers because that makes it weirder than it already is) was just perfect ugh 😩 i don’t care what he did, he loved them all first. he had to rape izzy all so that his family wouldn’t get hurt more. and when he finally begged ember/izzy and told her it wasn’t all a lie, i felt that. 😭 stories like this are always super controversial, i know that, but somehow i like indulging in them sometimes to see the depravity people have sometimes and the moral dilemma that pops up when situations like this occur.
✧ ezio. he was so sweet and flirty and playful, the most *innocent* of all of them, and i liked that. i loved how he was one of the first ones to truly stand up for izzy, to care about her and her choices and ultimately what she wanted to do. i loved how that place didn’t take away the essence of who he was, even though it stole away a piece of him all the same.
✧ aquillas. the man had gone through so much sexual assault and torture, i feel like he deserves a trophy. no wonder he never spoke. i felt for him, hell, all of them so much.
the fowler was an extremely foul man and that’s all i’m going to say about that. though the wolf, lycus, was even worse. they don’t deserve any of my words. fuck y’all. go to hell.
the symbolism in this? perfection. it literally showcased all of them with their personalities, and the tale was so haunting. the firebird—izzy/ember, the crow—corvin, the eagles—aquillas and ezio.
the dynamics between aquillas and corvin?? i wasn’t expecting it but i loved it. i felt like corvin melted with aquillas while he was brought out of his shell by ember, and i loved that.
i was also very worried close to the end because i thought something was going to happen—like the “it was all just in her head” bullshit and thankfully, that didn’t. but it left me with questions and now i can’t wait to see the answers.
spoilers end! ⚠️
the ending was very... ambiguous. i wasn’t completely satisfied, and that is one of the reasons i didn’t fully love this. i got why it was the way it was, though. this was more of the story of the firebird, how she was first caged, tortured, brutalized, and then finally, spread her wings and soared & flew.
July 11, 2024
"One cannot awaken, until they first suffer. One cannot fly, until they first burn."
Cold.
Dark.
Alone.
What's the point?
Is there even somewhere to go? Someone to go to?
I'm stuck here.
They make sure of that.
He calls himself my salvation.
With my keepers they make sure I don't go anywhere.
Where would I even go?
“There is only one way out of the Aviary, my dear. Be it by wings or ash.”
I have legitimately been racking my brain about what to write about this book. This book was absolutely amazing in the most heart wrenching ways. Jessie Walker created a masterpiece honestly. Maybe I'll come back and edit this review maybe I won't but just know that this book is a journey that is honestly so hard to come back from. So again - thank you Jessie Walker for the absolute heart ache!! I loved it!!
"I don't need to turn it off. I only ever needed to turn it on."
Jessie Walker's playlist for this is absolutely amazing. It was so hard to find songs to fit this book but these are the ones I felt work 🖤
(Link - https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2av... )
🎶 "Dynasty (Orchestral Version)" - MIIA
🎶 "Way down We Go" - KALEO
🎶 "Nightmare" - UNDREAM, Neoni
🎶 "Royal Blood" - Secession Studios, Greg Dombrowski
🎶 "doomsday" - Lizzy McAlpine
🎶 "Can I Exist" - MISSIO
🎶 "On My Own" - The Used
🎶 "Dark Matter" - Seratones
🎶 "In the Woods Somewhere" - Hozier
🎶 "snowfall (Slowed + Reverb)" - Oneheart, reidenshi
🎶 "Breathe" - Through Fire
🎶 "Annihilation" - Secession Studios, Greg Dombrowski
🎶 "One Way Or Another" - Until The Ribbon Breaks
🎶 "Come as You Are" - Prep School
🎶 "All I Wanted" - Paramore
🎶 "Redeemer" - Palaye Royale
🎶 "All For Us" - Labrinth, Zendaya
🎶 "When It's All Over" - RAIGN
🎶 "Let It Go" - Chandler Leighton, Lo Spirit
🎶 "A Grave Mistake" - Ice Nine Kills
🎶 "Parasite Eve" - Bring Me The Horizon
🎶 "Til Kingdom Come" - Secession Studios
🎶 "Are You Tired?" - Scene Queen
🎶 "Sleep" - The Last Bison
🎶 "Enjoy the Silence (Re:Imagined)" - Denmark + Winter
🎶 "It's a Sin - Epic Trailer Version" - Hidden Citizens
🎶 "Madness" - Ruelle
🎶 "I Ran (So Far Away) - Epic Trailer Version" - Hidden Citizens
🎶 "BLURRY" - Neoni
🎶 "In The Mean Time" - Lacuna Coil, Ash Costello, New Years Day
🎶 "Come For Me" - New Years Day
🎶 "As They Bloom" - Unlike Pluto
🎶 "The Maze" - J. Maya
🎶 "Mad World" - Demi Lovato
🎶 "Beautiful Undone" - Laure Doggett
🎶 "The Unimaginable" - Secession Studios, Greg Dombrowski
🎶 "Fear on Fire" - Ruelle
🎶 "Movement" - Hozier
🎶 "Can You Feel My Heart" - MOTHICA
🎶 "GASOLINE" - Maneskin
🎶 "Stronger Than Fate" - Secessions Studios, Greg Dombrowski
🎶 "Not Gonna Die" - Skillet
🎶 "Violate" - Bones Domingo
🎶 "Set Fire To The Rain" - SYCAMOUR
🎶 "I Feel You" - Depeche Mode
🎶 "Medicine (Acoustic Version)" - Sarah de Warren, EQRIC, Finnet
🎶 "Ricochet" - STARSET
🎶 "As Above, So Below" - Secession Studios, Greg Dombrowski
🎶 "Dare You to Move" - Adam Doleac
🎶 "Shapeshifting" - Taylor Acorn
🎶 "Paint It Black" - Wednesday Addams Version
🐦⬛ Tropes 🐦⬛
🎵 Dark Romance
🎵 MMFM/Poly Romance
🎵 Thriller Romance
🎵 Captive + Captors
🎵 Inspired by the golden bird/firebird fairytales and folklore
Book Edit - https://www.instagram.com/p/C9DB09gIh...
Cold.
Dark.
Alone.
What's the point?
Is there even somewhere to go? Someone to go to?
I'm stuck here.
They make sure of that.
He calls himself my salvation.
With my keepers they make sure I don't go anywhere.
Where would I even go?
“There is only one way out of the Aviary, my dear. Be it by wings or ash.”
I have legitimately been racking my brain about what to write about this book. This book was absolutely amazing in the most heart wrenching ways. Jessie Walker created a masterpiece honestly. Maybe I'll come back and edit this review maybe I won't but just know that this book is a journey that is honestly so hard to come back from. So again - thank you Jessie Walker for the absolute heart ache!! I loved it!!
"I don't need to turn it off. I only ever needed to turn it on."
Jessie Walker's playlist for this is absolutely amazing. It was so hard to find songs to fit this book but these are the ones I felt work 🖤
(Link - https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2av... )
🎶 "Dynasty (Orchestral Version)" - MIIA
🎶 "Way down We Go" - KALEO
🎶 "Nightmare" - UNDREAM, Neoni
🎶 "Royal Blood" - Secession Studios, Greg Dombrowski
🎶 "doomsday" - Lizzy McAlpine
🎶 "Can I Exist" - MISSIO
🎶 "On My Own" - The Used
🎶 "Dark Matter" - Seratones
🎶 "In the Woods Somewhere" - Hozier
🎶 "snowfall (Slowed + Reverb)" - Oneheart, reidenshi
🎶 "Breathe" - Through Fire
🎶 "Annihilation" - Secession Studios, Greg Dombrowski
🎶 "One Way Or Another" - Until The Ribbon Breaks
🎶 "Come as You Are" - Prep School
🎶 "All I Wanted" - Paramore
🎶 "Redeemer" - Palaye Royale
🎶 "All For Us" - Labrinth, Zendaya
🎶 "When It's All Over" - RAIGN
🎶 "Let It Go" - Chandler Leighton, Lo Spirit
🎶 "A Grave Mistake" - Ice Nine Kills
🎶 "Parasite Eve" - Bring Me The Horizon
🎶 "Til Kingdom Come" - Secession Studios
🎶 "Are You Tired?" - Scene Queen
🎶 "Sleep" - The Last Bison
🎶 "Enjoy the Silence (Re:Imagined)" - Denmark + Winter
🎶 "It's a Sin - Epic Trailer Version" - Hidden Citizens
🎶 "Madness" - Ruelle
🎶 "I Ran (So Far Away) - Epic Trailer Version" - Hidden Citizens
🎶 "BLURRY" - Neoni
🎶 "In The Mean Time" - Lacuna Coil, Ash Costello, New Years Day
🎶 "Come For Me" - New Years Day
🎶 "As They Bloom" - Unlike Pluto
🎶 "The Maze" - J. Maya
🎶 "Mad World" - Demi Lovato
🎶 "Beautiful Undone" - Laure Doggett
🎶 "The Unimaginable" - Secession Studios, Greg Dombrowski
🎶 "Fear on Fire" - Ruelle
🎶 "Movement" - Hozier
🎶 "Can You Feel My Heart" - MOTHICA
🎶 "GASOLINE" - Maneskin
🎶 "Stronger Than Fate" - Secessions Studios, Greg Dombrowski
🎶 "Not Gonna Die" - Skillet
🎶 "Violate" - Bones Domingo
🎶 "Set Fire To The Rain" - SYCAMOUR
🎶 "I Feel You" - Depeche Mode
🎶 "Medicine (Acoustic Version)" - Sarah de Warren, EQRIC, Finnet
🎶 "Ricochet" - STARSET
🎶 "As Above, So Below" - Secession Studios, Greg Dombrowski
🎶 "Dare You to Move" - Adam Doleac
🎶 "Shapeshifting" - Taylor Acorn
🎶 "Paint It Black" - Wednesday Addams Version
🐦⬛ Tropes 🐦⬛
🎵 Dark Romance
🎵 MMFM/Poly Romance
🎵 Thriller Romance
🎵 Captive + Captors
🎵 Inspired by the golden bird/firebird fairytales and folklore
Book Edit - https://www.instagram.com/p/C9DB09gIh...
October 23, 2023
100 stars… this is going to be, without a doubt, my best book of 2023, because it’s the best fiction book I’ve ever read….
Swoon /5 🥰🥰🥰🥰
Angst /5 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺
Steam /5 ♨️ ♨️♨️♨️
Plot /5 🧐🧐🧐🧐🧐
LOLs /5 🤭🤭🤭
Sometimes, a book comes along that changes your life. Like, it ACTUALLY has such a huge impact that it changes you. This is that book. It’s a book that makes you question all previous 5 star ratings, because it’s heads-above everything else. 5 stars don’t seem enough for this. It’s an absolute masterpiece.
Now, a few things:
- I can’t give much detail about the plot in this review, because it’s a landmine of spoilers. And I don’t want to be that asshole who ruins the 101 shocks threaded through this incredible book. It’s written in 1st person single POV from “Little Bird”. And she goes through HELL. So you do need to know that this is VERY DARK. If you have any triggers, you need to look at the content warning on Jessie’s website. If your triggers aren’t severe, I’d avoid reading them because they’ll give away important stuff.
- This book comes after Jessie’s 3 books for Will & Way. There is a lot of love for this couple from Jessie’s avid fans. It seems like this book comes out of nowhere. And with this book being MMFM, many readers who exclusively read MM stories may be tempted to skip it. YOU NEED TO READ THIS. Trust Jessie and her writing process. You won’t regret it. And there is one particular MMMF scene that is OMFG SCORCHINGLY HOT, with plenty of MM action to distract from the F if you’re not hugely into that
- There is a playlist for the book, and even if you’re not usually into playlists - download this one & listen as you read. I had full-on TINGLES, and it makes the book into an even more brilliant multi-sensory experience. I played it constantly in the background as I read, and it puts you into a dramatic headspace that perfectly compliments the writing.
- This book will CONSUME you. At around 800 pages, it’s a huge read, but you honestly don’t notice because the writing is so incredible, and the plot is so intricate & enticing. When I wasn’t reading it, I was thinking about it. I put off life stuff so I could keep reading. It’s THAT GOOD. I raged, I sobbed so hard I couldn’t read it, I cheered when the strength of the main protagonists came through.
I feel incredibly privileged to have had the opportunity to contribute to this book as a beta reader. But believe me when I say I have never read a book that has given me more of an experience than this book. I love angst, I love depth, I love complexity & unpredictability in a plot, and you’re left guessing until literally the final sentence of the book. That’s really hard to do, and Jessie did that in spades.
Check out my reviews and MM content on Instagram, Facebook & Bookbub, all under the same name! I gratefully received an advance copy and this is my honest review.
Swoon /5 🥰🥰🥰🥰
Angst /5 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺
Steam /5 ♨️ ♨️♨️♨️
Plot /5 🧐🧐🧐🧐🧐
LOLs /5 🤭🤭🤭
Sometimes, a book comes along that changes your life. Like, it ACTUALLY has such a huge impact that it changes you. This is that book. It’s a book that makes you question all previous 5 star ratings, because it’s heads-above everything else. 5 stars don’t seem enough for this. It’s an absolute masterpiece.
Now, a few things:
- I can’t give much detail about the plot in this review, because it’s a landmine of spoilers. And I don’t want to be that asshole who ruins the 101 shocks threaded through this incredible book. It’s written in 1st person single POV from “Little Bird”. And she goes through HELL. So you do need to know that this is VERY DARK. If you have any triggers, you need to look at the content warning on Jessie’s website. If your triggers aren’t severe, I’d avoid reading them because they’ll give away important stuff.
- This book comes after Jessie’s 3 books for Will & Way. There is a lot of love for this couple from Jessie’s avid fans. It seems like this book comes out of nowhere. And with this book being MMFM, many readers who exclusively read MM stories may be tempted to skip it. YOU NEED TO READ THIS. Trust Jessie and her writing process. You won’t regret it. And there is one particular MMMF scene that is OMFG SCORCHINGLY HOT, with plenty of MM action to distract from the F if you’re not hugely into that
- There is a playlist for the book, and even if you’re not usually into playlists - download this one & listen as you read. I had full-on TINGLES, and it makes the book into an even more brilliant multi-sensory experience. I played it constantly in the background as I read, and it puts you into a dramatic headspace that perfectly compliments the writing.
- This book will CONSUME you. At around 800 pages, it’s a huge read, but you honestly don’t notice because the writing is so incredible, and the plot is so intricate & enticing. When I wasn’t reading it, I was thinking about it. I put off life stuff so I could keep reading. It’s THAT GOOD. I raged, I sobbed so hard I couldn’t read it, I cheered when the strength of the main protagonists came through.
I feel incredibly privileged to have had the opportunity to contribute to this book as a beta reader. But believe me when I say I have never read a book that has given me more of an experience than this book. I love angst, I love depth, I love complexity & unpredictability in a plot, and you’re left guessing until literally the final sentence of the book. That’s really hard to do, and Jessie did that in spades.
Check out my reviews and MM content on Instagram, Facebook & Bookbub, all under the same name! I gratefully received an advance copy and this is my honest review.
July 28, 2023
What are the rules when there are none?
I don't even know where to start with this review. This book was exceptional. It is a work of art. The writing was excellent. The way the story unfolded was incredible. It's definitely a bit of a mind f*ck. It's not always an easy book to read, but it's worth it. I'm really looking forward to the follow up.
“Do you really think the world out there will be enough for you after this? Do you think they’d even still want you back?” I hear him now, his voice a hiss in my head, like that of a snake twisting down from a tree limb, beckoning me. Bite the apple. Just one little bite.
It really is difficult to review this book with out spoilers, so I am going to mostly be giving you my observations and feelings along the way. The story itself is a journey. One that is best to just jump in and go along with it. This book will not be for everyone, but I highly recommend it.
“One cannot awaken, until they first suffer.” “One cannot fly, until they first burn."
This book is complex. It's very philosophical. There are a lot of mental gymnastics to go through. The writing drew me in instantly. It's truly mesmerizing.
“Is a bird still a bird without wings?” His mouth twitches. “Is a prisoner still a prisoner without chains?”
The characters are incredible. So nuanced and complex. Ember is an interesting character. She endures so much in this book, but still she remains. She grows, adapts, but still stays strong. Corvin, Ezio and Aquillus are also such interesting characters. The relationship that is shared between Corvin, Ezio and Aquillus is beautiful. It's both simple and complicated. I really love the Flock. I love when they are together working and thinking as a unit. That is when they are at their best.
“We’ve been waiting for you,” he confesses quietly, his voice breaking. Vision blurred with tears, I shake my head. “I don’t understand.” His lips flatten into a small, somber smile. “I know. But I think one day you will.”
*** I received a free copy of this book via Indie Author Creative and am voluntarily leaving a review. ***
I don't even know where to start with this review. This book was exceptional. It is a work of art. The writing was excellent. The way the story unfolded was incredible. It's definitely a bit of a mind f*ck. It's not always an easy book to read, but it's worth it. I'm really looking forward to the follow up.
“Do you really think the world out there will be enough for you after this? Do you think they’d even still want you back?” I hear him now, his voice a hiss in my head, like that of a snake twisting down from a tree limb, beckoning me. Bite the apple. Just one little bite.
It really is difficult to review this book with out spoilers, so I am going to mostly be giving you my observations and feelings along the way. The story itself is a journey. One that is best to just jump in and go along with it. This book will not be for everyone, but I highly recommend it.
“One cannot awaken, until they first suffer.” “One cannot fly, until they first burn."
This book is complex. It's very philosophical. There are a lot of mental gymnastics to go through. The writing drew me in instantly. It's truly mesmerizing.
“Is a bird still a bird without wings?” His mouth twitches. “Is a prisoner still a prisoner without chains?”
The characters are incredible. So nuanced and complex. Ember is an interesting character. She endures so much in this book, but still she remains. She grows, adapts, but still stays strong. Corvin, Ezio and Aquillus are also such interesting characters. The relationship that is shared between Corvin, Ezio and Aquillus is beautiful. It's both simple and complicated. I really love the Flock. I love when they are together working and thinking as a unit. That is when they are at their best.
“We’ve been waiting for you,” he confesses quietly, his voice breaking. Vision blurred with tears, I shake my head. “I don’t understand.” His lips flatten into a small, somber smile. “I know. But I think one day you will.”
*** I received a free copy of this book via Indie Author Creative and am voluntarily leaving a review. ***
![Profile Image for Lilly [Hiatus due to School] .](https://cdn.statically.io/img/i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/users/1663899589i/10381707._UX200_CR0,0,200,200_.jpg)
March 17, 2023
"Mors mihi lucrum. Death is my reward."
How to start this review? I will not talk about the plot as it will spoil the story, and this is a story one should go in blind to get the whole experience. Instead, I will focus on my feelings and thoughts regarding this book.
I want to say, first and foremost, if you plan to read this book, please check the trigger warnings. Jessie has provided all trigger warnings on her site. Since some of them are spoilers I would say if you can handle darker stories to go in blind as I did. That being said, I know for a lot of people it will be a difficult book to read. Your mental health is important but you also have to be an adult and know your limits.
This story is not a romance, at least not in the traditional sense. The story is told from the female MC's POV and goodness, what this girl goes through is just heartbreaking. You have a front seat to her nightmare....it's like a traffic disaster one can't look away from.
This is a long long book but I found myself glued to my kindle wanting to know what was going to happen next, how this twisted tale would unfold. I think my main emotion reading this was anger. It is fiction, but many of the evil acts in this book do happen in real life, so it was hard for me not to feel enraged for a good chunk of it.
This is an MFMM story. I am not into MFM/MMF, but I wanted to give this story a chance and I am glad I did. I would say for fans of Jessie Walker's MM stories to try. It may not be everyone's cup of tea, which is valid but if you love Jessie's writing I think you will enjoy it. It worked for me because this was not a romance in the true sense but bonds and affection do form in the depths of darkness and evil. So I was able handle the relationship dynamics despite MFM/MMF not being my cup of tea at all.
It's been years since I've read a story with such a captivating female lead and I applaud Jessie for bringing her to life through with her words. And those boys….my heart broke for them over and over again.
Finally, the writing. My first taste of Jessie's writings came from the Anti-Valentine Anthology short, and I was blown away. I got to experience it in Little Bird Lost fully, and while it is a long book, her writing made the story flow no matter how dark the story got and honestly, there are some really fucked up things happening that it makes you question a lot of things.
Overall I would say if you have no triggers go in blind. While I do say try, this story will also not be everyone's cup of tea. If you do have triggers please check the TWs as this story explores the depths of human depravity, darkness and evil.
How to start this review? I will not talk about the plot as it will spoil the story, and this is a story one should go in blind to get the whole experience. Instead, I will focus on my feelings and thoughts regarding this book.
I want to say, first and foremost, if you plan to read this book, please check the trigger warnings. Jessie has provided all trigger warnings on her site. Since some of them are spoilers I would say if you can handle darker stories to go in blind as I did. That being said, I know for a lot of people it will be a difficult book to read. Your mental health is important but you also have to be an adult and know your limits.
This story is not a romance, at least not in the traditional sense. The story is told from the female MC's POV and goodness, what this girl goes through is just heartbreaking. You have a front seat to her nightmare....it's like a traffic disaster one can't look away from.
This is a long long book but I found myself glued to my kindle wanting to know what was going to happen next, how this twisted tale would unfold. I think my main emotion reading this was anger. It is fiction, but many of the evil acts in this book do happen in real life, so it was hard for me not to feel enraged for a good chunk of it.
This is an MFMM story. I am not into MFM/MMF, but I wanted to give this story a chance and I am glad I did. I would say for fans of Jessie Walker's MM stories to try. It may not be everyone's cup of tea, which is valid but if you love Jessie's writing I think you will enjoy it. It worked for me because this was not a romance in the true sense but bonds and affection do form in the depths of darkness and evil. So I was able handle the relationship dynamics despite MFM/MMF not being my cup of tea at all.
It's been years since I've read a story with such a captivating female lead and I applaud Jessie for bringing her to life through with her words. And those boys….my heart broke for them over and over again.
Finally, the writing. My first taste of Jessie's writings came from the Anti-Valentine Anthology short, and I was blown away. I got to experience it in Little Bird Lost fully, and while it is a long book, her writing made the story flow no matter how dark the story got and honestly, there are some really fucked up things happening that it makes you question a lot of things.
Overall I would say if you have no triggers go in blind. While I do say try, this story will also not be everyone's cup of tea. If you do have triggers please check the TWs as this story explores the depths of human depravity, darkness and evil.
March 27, 2023
MMFM Nightmare
Book 1 Of A Duet
Lost Boys Series
5 heartbroken 💔 stars ⭐️
Thank you Cyndi for helping me get through this book without completely losing my shit. I’m totally wrecked but had I not had anyone to talk to during it, I’d be a whole hell of a lot worse. 💗😘
As much as I love this author and don’t mind poly relationships, I had no intention of reading this book because MF romance just isn’t really my thing anymore BUT then I found out it tied into the Will/Way Lost Boys Duet and I had to give it a try. I highly recommend my friends that loved the Will/Way duet and can handle dark books to give this a whirl because this is Izzy’s book. Iykyk. This is not an easy read and I curse myself for being so curious that I needed to have her story because it has absolutely wrecked me and yet it’s my first real 5 star read of the year. I was finally able to create a “best of 2023” shelf. 😊
There is nothing cookie cutter about this book. It doesn’t follow traditional romance rules because it’s technically not a romance right now but that’s what made this so good because I had no idea what to expect. I had theories of course but I went in blind and this book took me on an unexpected journey that was so horrifying at times it hurt to keep moving forward and yet once I started reading this, I couldn’t put it down and the 800 pages flew by so fast it was unreal. This book takes place in only the heroine’s POV and while book 2 promises to have all 4 POVs, having just the one here made this all the more haunting. The anticipation of what was to come made me feel like I was going to vibrate out of my skin at times and yet I could not stop reading it.
This book absolutely fucking wrecked me but I am so glad I gave this a try because this author’s writing is flawless and she makes me care so much about her characters that I feel like I know them in real life. Even the characters I initially hated in this book somehow wormed their way into my soul and it’s going to kill me to not get the conclusion to this until 2024.
Book 1 Of A Duet
Lost Boys Series
5 heartbroken 💔 stars ⭐️
Thank you Cyndi for helping me get through this book without completely losing my shit. I’m totally wrecked but had I not had anyone to talk to during it, I’d be a whole hell of a lot worse. 💗😘
As much as I love this author and don’t mind poly relationships, I had no intention of reading this book because MF romance just isn’t really my thing anymore BUT then I found out it tied into the Will/Way Lost Boys Duet and I had to give it a try. I highly recommend my friends that loved the Will/Way duet and can handle dark books to give this a whirl because this is Izzy’s book. Iykyk. This is not an easy read and I curse myself for being so curious that I needed to have her story because it has absolutely wrecked me and yet it’s my first real 5 star read of the year. I was finally able to create a “best of 2023” shelf. 😊
There is nothing cookie cutter about this book. It doesn’t follow traditional romance rules because it’s technically not a romance right now but that’s what made this so good because I had no idea what to expect. I had theories of course but I went in blind and this book took me on an unexpected journey that was so horrifying at times it hurt to keep moving forward and yet once I started reading this, I couldn’t put it down and the 800 pages flew by so fast it was unreal. This book takes place in only the heroine’s POV and while book 2 promises to have all 4 POVs, having just the one here made this all the more haunting. The anticipation of what was to come made me feel like I was going to vibrate out of my skin at times and yet I could not stop reading it.
This book absolutely fucking wrecked me but I am so glad I gave this a try because this author’s writing is flawless and she makes me care so much about her characters that I feel like I know them in real life. Even the characters I initially hated in this book somehow wormed their way into my soul and it’s going to kill me to not get the conclusion to this until 2024.
![Profile Image for Kati *☆･ﾟ [a bit distracted atm].](https://cdn.statically.io/img/i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/users/1725834613i/144158876._UX200_CR0,0,200,200_.jpg)
May 8, 2024
5***** stars
From the author’s note: this book is dark, and it stays dark.
It was. And it did.
I’m speechless. And I’m honestly not sure what to do with myself now that I finished this.
I knew this book would be hard to read. And hell, it had me in a vice-like grip with everything that happened. I can’t or rather won’t say much else because I don’t want to spoiler the story for anyone who hasn’t read it yet. But I’m glad. Glad, that with EBA finally on the horizon I was finally brave enough to pick this up.
Not a romance this one (although there is love inside), but a tale of torture, pain and loss. And a tale of resurrection, like the phoenix from the ashes.
And the Fowler? The puppet master. The collector, the hunter of wild birds. He was a sick bastard. Recreating the tale of the firebird in real life. At least as part of his reality of life. You don’t have to know the tale, he will tell you. And her.
About the King and the Wolf.
About the Crow. The Eagles. And the Firebird.
This book is an MMFM but I’ve never seen such a dynamic before. From a romance perspective it was thrilling af and I can’t wait to see where Jessie is taking this —them— in the sequel.
**************
Shilohverse recommended reading
Lost Boys Book 1 - Where There’s A Will - 5.0 stars
Lost Boys Book 2 - If There’s A Way - 5.0 stars
Lost Boys Novella - All We Are
Lost Boys Novella - Still Beating - 5.0 stars
Aviary Duet Book 1 - Little Bird Lost - 5.0 stars
Lost Boys Book 3 - Every Breath After, Part 1 - no rating for now
From the author’s note: this book is dark, and it stays dark.
It was. And it did.
I’m speechless. And I’m honestly not sure what to do with myself now that I finished this.
The moon doesn’t shine on dead girls. And I’ve been marked for death for a long, long time.
I knew this book would be hard to read. And hell, it had me in a vice-like grip with everything that happened. I can’t or rather won’t say much else because I don’t want to spoiler the story for anyone who hasn’t read it yet. But I’m glad. Glad, that with EBA finally on the horizon I was finally brave enough to pick this up.
Not a romance this one (although there is love inside), but a tale of torture, pain and loss. And a tale of resurrection, like the phoenix from the ashes.
But here I am, curled up between a Crow and an Eagle, and for once, I’m not clutched between their talons, but nestled safely in their wings.
And the Fowler? The puppet master. The collector, the hunter of wild birds. He was a sick bastard. Recreating the tale of the firebird in real life. At least as part of his reality of life. You don’t have to know the tale, he will tell you. And her.
About the King and the Wolf.
About the Crow. The Eagles. And the Firebird.
This book is an MMFM but I’ve never seen such a dynamic before. From a romance perspective it was thrilling af and I can’t wait to see where Jessie is taking this —them— in the sequel.
One day soon, she’ll understand again, and she’ll remember she’s not one of us, that she never was. Because no cage will ever hold a Firebird for long… And she was never ours to keep. Even if our hearts will never beat the same without hers next to us.
**************
Shilohverse recommended reading
Lost Boys Book 1 - Where There’s A Will - 5.0 stars
Lost Boys Book 2 - If There’s A Way - 5.0 stars
Lost Boys Novella - All We Are
Lost Boys Novella - Still Beating - 5.0 stars
Aviary Duet Book 1 - Little Bird Lost - 5.0 stars
Lost Boys Book 3 - Every Breath After, Part 1 - no rating for now
Shelved as 'wishlist'
March 21, 2023Hello you beautiful fucked-up looking book, you
May 27, 2023
Edit2: Almost two weeks after and i am still not over this!! It lives rent free in my miiiiind!!!!!
Edit: I am still not over this!!!
me describing this book and the author:
I really have no other words!!!!! I adore the world that this author has created!!!!! I felt everything so deep within me, like i was the one going through them!!!!!! I really can't wait for her next books, what else she will come up with!!! Her writing is 😍😍🤌🤌🥰🥰🥹🥹
ps: pls check tws before reading this!!!
ps2: i never reread books and i already want to reread both this and her other series i've read and this says a lot!!!!!!
-------------------
I am speechless. Shaking crying throwing up. I will never be the same! 5 thousand stars!
I apologize for any heart attacks I may have caused along the way.
Jessie Walker, i love you, you have become my favourite author but I SHALL NOT FORGIVE YOU!!! You will be hearing from my lawyer, you are paying my therapy bills, thank you!
Edit: I am still not over this!!!
me describing this book and the author:
I really have no other words!!!!! I adore the world that this author has created!!!!! I felt everything so deep within me, like i was the one going through them!!!!!! I really can't wait for her next books, what else she will come up with!!! Her writing is 😍😍🤌🤌🥰🥰🥹🥹
ps: pls check tws before reading this!!!
ps2: i never reread books and i already want to reread both this and her other series i've read and this says a lot!!!!!!
-------------------
I am speechless. Shaking crying throwing up. I will never be the same! 5 thousand stars!
I apologize for any heart attacks I may have caused along the way.
Jessie Walker, i love you, you have become my favourite author but I SHALL NOT FORGIVE YOU!!! You will be hearing from my lawyer, you are paying my therapy bills, thank you!
January 26, 2024
.·: ✰ 4.5 stars ¨*:·.
A thumb swipes just under my eye.
〝We've been waiting for you,〞 he confesses quietly, his voice breaking.
abysmal. atrocious. awful. the worst thing to ever exist…ever. stay away. far, far away. i’m so serious, i’m that, violently so.
and it’s all because little bird lost is mine, so dear to me, now, it feels as though it belongs to me, is a massively fragmented piece of me that’s inconsolably traversing the innards of my body like a lost soul that is desperate to return to its keeper.
i want to keep it in the cavern of my chest cavity. i literally want to lay in my bed with its hardback in the prison of my arms as i fall asleep, and then dream of it. it is my fever dream, my nightmare, my salvation, my folie á deux—i don’t care to share, i don’t want anyone so much as breathing anywhere near, let alone touching, it, this tome that's unmistakably gone and made an unhinged, unwell, and unequivocal shell of a girl out of me.
i'm so at a loss. i don’t even know where to start with transcribing my all-consuming emotions and thoughts and feelings apropos of what’s just become my fav—for lack of a better word—novel of not only 2023 thus far, but of the last two years, 2022 and 2021, too. it's true; i double, triple-checked this.
somewhere within the marrow of little bird lost’s 803 pages, i found myself inside of a cage in the shape of a home architected just for me, a fluffy blanket with barbed wire woven into it, an ice-cold fire to keep me warm, and i’m inconsolable, inconsolable in every sense of the word, now that i’ve turned the last page, now that i’m forced to leave it, this…masterpiece.
my head hurts. my chest hurts. my eyes and nose still sting with saline. everything that is me, my mind, my body, is just hurting and hurting, and in a way that is all too physical and real.
after the longest and tightest chokehold of my life, my throat is bereft, and my heart is in my stomach, and i can’t stomach the fact that i won’t get the rest of it until 2024 at the earliest at that.
i’m not the person i was before reading this. little bird lost cauterized my soul, and i will never, ever, be the same.
“ember”. cor. aquillus. ezio.
the paper birds. the food fight.
…the night of the blizzard…
i miss my flock ಥ︿ಥ
A thumb swipes just under my eye.
〝We've been waiting for you,〞 he confesses quietly, his voice breaking.
abysmal. atrocious. awful. the worst thing to ever exist…ever. stay away. far, far away. i’m so serious, i’m that, violently so.
and it’s all because little bird lost is mine, so dear to me, now, it feels as though it belongs to me, is a massively fragmented piece of me that’s inconsolably traversing the innards of my body like a lost soul that is desperate to return to its keeper.
i want to keep it in the cavern of my chest cavity. i literally want to lay in my bed with its hardback in the prison of my arms as i fall asleep, and then dream of it. it is my fever dream, my nightmare, my salvation, my folie á deux—i don’t care to share, i don’t want anyone so much as breathing anywhere near, let alone touching, it, this tome that's unmistakably gone and made an unhinged, unwell, and unequivocal shell of a girl out of me.
i'm so at a loss. i don’t even know where to start with transcribing my all-consuming emotions and thoughts and feelings apropos of what’s just become my fav—for lack of a better word—novel of not only 2023 thus far, but of the last two years, 2022 and 2021, too. it's true; i double, triple-checked this.
somewhere within the marrow of little bird lost’s 803 pages, i found myself inside of a cage in the shape of a home architected just for me, a fluffy blanket with barbed wire woven into it, an ice-cold fire to keep me warm, and i’m inconsolable, inconsolable in every sense of the word, now that i’ve turned the last page, now that i’m forced to leave it, this…masterpiece.
my head hurts. my chest hurts. my eyes and nose still sting with saline. everything that is me, my mind, my body, is just hurting and hurting, and in a way that is all too physical and real.
after the longest and tightest chokehold of my life, my throat is bereft, and my heart is in my stomach, and i can’t stomach the fact that i won’t get the rest of it until 2024 at the earliest at that.
〝Parum deos sumus.〞
We be but little gods.
i’m not the person i was before reading this. little bird lost cauterized my soul, and i will never, ever, be the same.
“ember”. cor. aquillus. ezio.
the paper birds. the food fight.
…the night of the blizzard…
i miss my flock ಥ︿ಥ
September 10, 2024
࿐ One cannot awaken, until they first suffer. One cannot fly, until they first burn.
ᝰ.ᐟ 4 stars
I'm pretty sure that this book turned my world upside down and forced me to look at it with different eyes. I truly experienced every single thing that happened as if it was happening to me.. I lived through it. I became one with these characters and it was terrifying and fascinating at the same time. I couldn't look away, I was completely immersed in the story from the beginning.
── .✦ Because the moon doesn’t shine on dead girls. And I’ve been marked for death for a long, long time.
.ᐟ This is one of those books where it's best to go in blind and with an open mind (trust me, this is a necessity. Judgments will get you nowhere and you won't be able to enjoy reading it if you're constantly judging the characters). I'd also recommend checking TW’s if you're very sensitive - this is a really, really dark book.
This is a story about the dark side of humanity, the depraved, twisted, cruel, sick world that is kept hidden from society. Although it's a work of fiction, the sad truth is that many of the things that happen in this book are not just a fantasy conjured up by the author. They happen in real life. But most of all, this is a story of survival. This is the story of a girl who suffers unimaginable heartbreak and torture, a victim of the games of men who think they are above the rules and morals of society. A girl who lives every day trapped in a never-ending nightmare. A girl who eventually finds her wings and breaks free from all bonds. And in her captors, her cagers, she finds her flock. A family, a home.
── .✦ We are all.
We are many.
And we are one.
Flock, flock, flock.
As in the Will and Way duet, the writing is simple yet beautiful. It draws you in and makes it hard to tear your eyes away from the book. I was completely engrossed in this dark world and loved the atmosphere the author created. There is a sense of eeriness in this place, it is sinister and seems haunted, it feels like someone is playing mind games, at times I couldn't tell what was real and what wasn't. I felt as trapped as our main character. Disgusted by the depravity of this world, but unable to look away.
── .✦ I’m no longer a little bird lost… But a little bird found, broken wings and all. And that’s what terrifies me most, because if I’m no longer lost, then what happens to the girl I hid away… And where does it leave those I left behind?
The characters are beautifully written and they're all so fleshed out. They're very human characters, with a lot of depth, and I think if you're a very empathetic person, and you can easily put yourself in someone else's shoes, you'll feel for them. You'll see beyond the facade they have to show the world. When the truth about the Flock was revealed, I wasn't surprised, because deep down I always knew.
I found the way the author explores morality fascinating. When we imagine certain situations, we're so quick to say "I'd never do that, I'd never become that person", but when faced with the unimaginable, who knows what we'd do? Who knows if our moral compass would remain strong? I don't want to say too much because, as I said, it's best to go into this book blind, but these are just a few thoughts that kept popping into my head as I read.
── .✦ In the game of life versus death, the only thing we have to rely on is our desperation. To do what must be done.
The ending was very unexpected and I don't know what to make of it yet, I knew this wasn't a standalone but I'm not the biggest fan of the cliffhanger. I have so many questions, I'm not sure I understand everything that happened at the end and I just want the next book to give me all the answers. This book was all about the fmc's story, the firebird who was caged and brutalised but found her wings and broke free. Now the healing begins and I wonder how the Flock will find a way to exist in a world that was denied to them for so long.
── .✦ “I am Ember,” I whisper. And I was forged to make the world burn.
There's a spoiler section below where I share some of my messy thoughts after finishing the book. For now, I'll just say that if this seems like something you'd enjoy reading, then go for it. But I can't guarantee you'll like it, I know it's one of those books that not everyone will love. I strongly encourage you to read the Lost Boy series and follow the author's recommended order, but you don't have to read the Will & Way duet if you don't want to.
.ᐟ spoiler zone .ᐟ
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- I already knew this was Izzy's story because the author says so at the end of ITAW, so it wasn't a shock when her identity was revealed, and ngl I'm a little sad about it. It would have been so cool to feel the full impact of it. But it didn't affect my enjoyment of the story.
- For a moment I was so scared that it was all a hallucination. I'd have thrown my kindle out of the window if Izzy had made it all up in her head. I'm so glad it was real, it would have been too upsetting otherwise.
- I didn't expect to see Jer, Mason and Waylon at the end and I really need to know more. I'd love to have Mason's POV of that moment, I want to know what was going through his head.
- I'm both excited and afraid to read Mason and Jeremy's book. From what I've seen in the Will & Way duet, Jeremy is pining so hard for Mason and I'm not sure Mason feels the same way. There's something there, and I know it's a very delicate and complicated situation, but for their love story to be believable to me, I need to know that Jeremy is it for Mason. Jeremy does not deserve to be a second choice and he does not deserve to spend his life wondering if Mason really wants to be with him. I'm just rambling at this point and I'll try not to set high expectations for their book. I trust Jessie to tell their story the way it needs to be told.
- Although I have to say that I know in my heart that Izzy doesn't want to be with Mason again. I know that whatever romantic feelings she had for him are in the past, with the version of herself she had to leave behind. Their love was pure and innocent, and now that Izzy has embraced the darkness within her, there's no going back. She belongs with her flock.
- Speaking of the Flock, wow!! this book forced me to keep an open mind and I loved that, I loved getting to explore all the taboo subjects, I don't usually read books with polyamorous relationships but I am dying to see how their dynamics will be explored in the next book. This book was all about Izzy and the next one will focus on all of them and I can't wait to find out more.
- Confession: I loved the sex scenes. They were hot, they were intimate, they were both beautiful and tender, but also animalistic and dark. I don't know if this makes sense, but I was holding my breath the whole time.
- Corvin is such a complicated character, but I'm rooting for him. He needs to redeem himself more in my eyes, I'm still a bit suspicious of him, I have to believe that Izzy is now his priority too (which I think was made clear at the end), but I think he deserves a chance. I'm not going to justify his wrongdoings, but he was also a victim. He did everything he could to protect his boys and Izzy. And I don't have it in me to hate him, I'm sure he hates himself enough already.
- Ezio is a sweetheart and I love how he constantly reminded Izzy that she had a choice and he always respected her, he gave her what no one else had and that makes me love him even more.
- Aquillus, this poor boy. My heart breaks for him. All the abuse and trauma he's suffered is despicable, I hope he can heal from it.
- Fowler and Lycus deserved what they got, and I wish they had suffered more. Disgusting pigs.
April 4, 2023
" It's a love you wouldn't just die for, but the kind you'd sell your soul and commit unspeakable acts to protect. It's not a good love. It's not a bad love. It just is."
Little Bird Lost by Jessie Walker is not a love story. Far from it. Soooo far from it. But I'm leading with a quote from the book about love, because love and hate run so closely together in this magnificient opus that it would be wrong to exclude it.
Like other reviewers, I'm not going to be specific for fear of spoilers, but if you love Jessie's previous work, just trust me that you will love Little Bird Lost too.
If you're like me and don't really relish the idea of a MFMM story, I hear you. But you need to read this one, because it's honestly NOT like any other book in this trope.
Little Bird Lost is dark AF; seriously pitch black. There are warnings on the author's website if you need them, so please proceed with care. BUT if you're like me and have no triggers, then go in blind - you will appreciate what Jessie Walker has created so much more. I promise.
Simply put, Little Bird Lost is a darkly intense story of horror and loss and pain and abuse and betrayal, but somewhere out of all that comes hope and found family and a chance at redemption for the irredeemable.
It's an amazing piece of work and Jessie Walker has produced yet another masterpiece.
5 dark AF stars 🪶🪶🪶🪶🪶
Little Bird Lost by Jessie Walker is not a love story. Far from it. Soooo far from it. But I'm leading with a quote from the book about love, because love and hate run so closely together in this magnificient opus that it would be wrong to exclude it.
Like other reviewers, I'm not going to be specific for fear of spoilers, but if you love Jessie's previous work, just trust me that you will love Little Bird Lost too.
If you're like me and don't really relish the idea of a MFMM story, I hear you. But you need to read this one, because it's honestly NOT like any other book in this trope.
Little Bird Lost is dark AF; seriously pitch black. There are warnings on the author's website if you need them, so please proceed with care. BUT if you're like me and have no triggers, then go in blind - you will appreciate what Jessie Walker has created so much more. I promise.
Simply put, Little Bird Lost is a darkly intense story of horror and loss and pain and abuse and betrayal, but somewhere out of all that comes hope and found family and a chance at redemption for the irredeemable.
It's an amazing piece of work and Jessie Walker has produced yet another masterpiece.
5 dark AF stars 🪶🪶🪶🪶🪶
May 2, 2024
All honesty, if this was not a part of the Lost Boys series then I would never have read it BUT I am so glad that I did. It broke my heart, made me think a lot, and I cried so much more than I anticipated.
It's kind of hard to review this without spoilers because it will ruin the reading experience. I'd just say to check the trigger warnings carefully because there is A LOT of darkness here.
I will say that this was an incredibly difficult read for me because it contained something very triggering for me - I only have two triggers and they're listed in my profile info... I generally avoid books with my triggers in - to the point I can't even read books with my biggest trigger at all. However, if it's part of a series that I love and it just has the other trigger in it, then I take some time to prepare myself before hand and I make sure I have things in place to 'escape' with so I don't get lost.
I did have to take a lot of breaks, I even got to have a nice walk in the park because we had our first day with no rain or freezing cold temperature in MONTHS!!! It was so nice to feel the sun again - the joy of living in England!
I think my biggest takeaway from this book is that ALL of these characters have been through so much, and I'm just not ready to let go of them just yet so I actually am looking forward to the conclusion. Will I be able to move past what happened between some characters in this book? I really don't know. But I want to see the entire story before I make any firm opinions on that.
Definitely having a break for a few days before I dive into Every Breath After because I have been shipping Mason and Jeremy since book one and I already know that Jessie Walker is going to hurt my heart and my tear ducts some more!
And I managed to finish this book in time to watch an Adelaide Crows AFL game.... birds on the brain!
It's kind of hard to review this without spoilers because it will ruin the reading experience. I'd just say to check the trigger warnings carefully because there is A LOT of darkness here.
I will say that this was an incredibly difficult read for me because it contained something very triggering for me - I only have two triggers and they're listed in my profile info... I generally avoid books with my triggers in - to the point I can't even read books with my biggest trigger at all. However, if it's part of a series that I love and it just has the other trigger in it, then I take some time to prepare myself before hand and I make sure I have things in place to 'escape' with so I don't get lost.
I did have to take a lot of breaks, I even got to have a nice walk in the park because we had our first day with no rain or freezing cold temperature in MONTHS!!! It was so nice to feel the sun again - the joy of living in England!
I think my biggest takeaway from this book is that ALL of these characters have been through so much, and I'm just not ready to let go of them just yet so I actually am looking forward to the conclusion. Will I be able to move past what happened between some characters in this book? I really don't know. But I want to see the entire story before I make any firm opinions on that.
Definitely having a break for a few days before I dive into Every Breath After because I have been shipping Mason and Jeremy since book one and I already know that Jessie Walker is going to hurt my heart and my tear ducts some more!
And I managed to finish this book in time to watch an Adelaide Crows AFL game.... birds on the brain!
March 17, 2024
Little Bird Lost
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
This is NOT your traditional romance book, it’s a story about survival. It includes dark themes, and checking TWs is strongly recommended.
I’ve been so hesitant to pick this up because of certain aspects, and I’m glad I waited until I was ready to read this book because it completely consumed me. I could not put it down. Sure, in the beginning I was a little shell-shocked and uncertain as to where this story was going. I wasn’t sure if I could keep reading. But then it shifted, and I realized that this book was very different than what I’d initially expected.
“Only another monster can survive a monster.”
The last 20% had me in an absolute chokehold. Those scenes near the end? Yeah, let’s just say I’m excited for whatever Jessie Walker has in store for us.
“Because the moon doesn’t shine on dead girls. And we’ve been dead for a long, long time.”
The FMC goes THROUGH it. She’s strong. A surviver. I cannot wait to read more about these characters once the sequel is released. I’m dying to know how the FMC’s story will unfold. Until then, flock flock flock.
🦅🐦🔥🦅🐦⬛
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
This is NOT your traditional romance book, it’s a story about survival. It includes dark themes, and checking TWs is strongly recommended.
I’ve been so hesitant to pick this up because of certain aspects, and I’m glad I waited until I was ready to read this book because it completely consumed me. I could not put it down. Sure, in the beginning I was a little shell-shocked and uncertain as to where this story was going. I wasn’t sure if I could keep reading. But then it shifted, and I realized that this book was very different than what I’d initially expected.
“Only another monster can survive a monster.”
The last 20% had me in an absolute chokehold. Those scenes near the end? Yeah, let’s just say I’m excited for whatever Jessie Walker has in store for us.
“Because the moon doesn’t shine on dead girls. And we’ve been dead for a long, long time.”
The FMC goes THROUGH it. She’s strong. A surviver. I cannot wait to read more about these characters once the sequel is released. I’m dying to know how the FMC’s story will unfold. Until then, flock flock flock.
🦅🐦🔥🦅🐦⬛
March 22, 2023
This book has been incredibly hard for me to review for several reasons. For one, I initially didn’t want to read it at all. RH/poly books are not my jam. Single first person POV is not my favorite either. And it being 800 pages written in only the female perspective only upped my hesitance because I left all things MF in the dust years ago and have not regained interest since. But I had a feeling I needed to read this and I was right. I have some opinions about that, but since they’re based on my personal reading preferences, I’ll keep them to myself. This was a really good book that dealt with some very heavy and dark subject matter. If you liked Will and Way’s duet and you’re not put off by the trigger warnings, I highly recommend reading it even if it is outside of your preferred genre.
The first 60% of this book had me completely riveted, glued to the page, forgetting to blink, engrossed in the madness and obsessed. I lost sleep. I shut out every outside noise and growled at anyone who dared to enter my reading space. I was addicted. I liked the choices the author made as the story moved back and forth through time, building suspense and a barrage of questions I needed answers to. The family dynamics of the Aviary and the machinations of the Fowler were both compelling and disturbing. It had an Eyes Wide Shut vibe, only darker and more intense because of the perspective I was seeing it all from. Ember was a likable FMC and I, surprisingly, didn’t mind being stuck in her head because she reacted to what was happening to and around her in ways that made sense to me and felt true to someone getting their first glimpse at true human depravity and disregard. I was terrified for her because the author dropped the gauntlet early on and made it obvious that wherever the story took her, she would follow. It could have been a lot worse for Ember, but it was still really bad.
All was good until that 60% mark, when the secrets started to come out and the tone of the book started to change a bit, changing my level of enjoyment with it. I started to lose my connection to Ember because I thought she saw and assumed things that she apparently didn’t. The plot twists(?) weren’t shocking to me, but they shocked the hell out of her. I couldn’t help but wonder - was I intuitive or was she not? I didn’t know what to do with her reactions and felt like maybe I had given her too much credit. Mind you, she was young and going through things no human should ever be subjected to, but I guess I thought she was more observant than she was and I couldn’t decide where to place my disappointment - in her or the author. Regardless, once the tales had been told and the truths had been revealed, I experienced a 20% slog of repetitive inner monologue, conversations about how past moments were perceived by other characters and a dramatic “we’ve been waiting for you” chosen-one type situation a la Katniss Everdeen (imagine if Katniss ended up with Peeta, Gale and, let’s say, Haymitch?). The world Ember was living in suddenly felt a lot less volatile, with the risk levels dropping from a severe red to a moderate yellow. It went from a Grimm fairytale to a Disney movie and that shift was jarring. The only thing that saved it was the sense of foreboding. I clung to that like a life raft.
The last 20% was a pretty wild ride. Not all of it made sense and I will die on that hill, but I was back to being riveted and glued to the pages and absolutely loved how and where the book ended. There are plans for a second part to this story, but I’m not sure that I’ll read it. I read this one because I felt like I had to. I don’t regret it at all, but I also don’t have that same compulsion to see the story through to the HEA. Maybe I’ll feel differently when it comes out. Until then, I’ll be not so patiently waiting for the next Lost Boys book.
The first 60% of this book had me completely riveted, glued to the page, forgetting to blink, engrossed in the madness and obsessed. I lost sleep. I shut out every outside noise and growled at anyone who dared to enter my reading space. I was addicted. I liked the choices the author made as the story moved back and forth through time, building suspense and a barrage of questions I needed answers to. The family dynamics of the Aviary and the machinations of the Fowler were both compelling and disturbing. It had an Eyes Wide Shut vibe, only darker and more intense because of the perspective I was seeing it all from. Ember was a likable FMC and I, surprisingly, didn’t mind being stuck in her head because she reacted to what was happening to and around her in ways that made sense to me and felt true to someone getting their first glimpse at true human depravity and disregard. I was terrified for her because the author dropped the gauntlet early on and made it obvious that wherever the story took her, she would follow. It could have been a lot worse for Ember, but it was still really bad.
All was good until that 60% mark, when the secrets started to come out and the tone of the book started to change a bit, changing my level of enjoyment with it. I started to lose my connection to Ember because I thought she saw and assumed things that she apparently didn’t. The plot twists(?) weren’t shocking to me, but they shocked the hell out of her. I couldn’t help but wonder - was I intuitive or was she not? I didn’t know what to do with her reactions and felt like maybe I had given her too much credit. Mind you, she was young and going through things no human should ever be subjected to, but I guess I thought she was more observant than she was and I couldn’t decide where to place my disappointment - in her or the author. Regardless, once the tales had been told and the truths had been revealed, I experienced a 20% slog of repetitive inner monologue, conversations about how past moments were perceived by other characters and a dramatic “we’ve been waiting for you” chosen-one type situation a la Katniss Everdeen (imagine if Katniss ended up with Peeta, Gale and, let’s say, Haymitch?). The world Ember was living in suddenly felt a lot less volatile, with the risk levels dropping from a severe red to a moderate yellow. It went from a Grimm fairytale to a Disney movie and that shift was jarring. The only thing that saved it was the sense of foreboding. I clung to that like a life raft.
The last 20% was a pretty wild ride. Not all of it made sense and I will die on that hill, but I was back to being riveted and glued to the pages and absolutely loved how and where the book ended. There are plans for a second part to this story, but I’m not sure that I’ll read it. I read this one because I felt like I had to. I don’t regret it at all, but I also don’t have that same compulsion to see the story through to the HEA. Maybe I’ll feel differently when it comes out. Until then, I’ll be not so patiently waiting for the next Lost Boys book.
May 22, 2024
WHAT A GUT PUNCH OF A FUCKING BOOK. This one took my the fuck OUT. I was unwell on the floor in a ball most of the book. Holy fuck. The symbolism woven in with the fairytale story telling was unmatched. Probably the best book I’ve read so far this year. I didn’t think I would be into MMFM and all of the nightmares of this book but I DID IT. Not without having breakdowns and texting my buddy read friends! Shoutout to them for consoling my the last couple of days 😂 I’m excited to see where this story goes and the characters. Now on to EBA 🫡
“It’s okay, Firecracker. You’ve got us now. It’s okay, it’s okay.” And all I can think is— Flock. Flock, flock, flock. I’m no longer a little bird lost… But a little bird found, broken wings and all. And that’s what terrifies me most, because if I’m no longer lost, then what happens to the girl I hid away… And where does it leave those I left behind?
“It’s okay, Firecracker. You’ve got us now. It’s okay, it’s okay.” And all I can think is— Flock. Flock, flock, flock. I’m no longer a little bird lost… But a little bird found, broken wings and all. And that’s what terrifies me most, because if I’m no longer lost, then what happens to the girl I hid away… And where does it leave those I left behind?
May 22, 2024
4 ⭐️
Buddy read with my sweetie — Jonathan 🫂
”I’m no longer a little bird lost… But a little bird found, broken wings and all.”
I didn't want to read this book. 🫣
Although I read dark romance a lot, I'm not a poly girl, so this was out of my comfort zone. I did, though. I read it (thank you Megan), and once again I was totally absorbed by Jessie Walker's writing, the way she characterizes Izzy down to the bone; her emotional and psychological state takes you to look inside yourself layer by layer in a slow, painful but also knowing way.
To say that Izzy and the Flock's has been a torturous journey would be an understatement. It has been a one-way ticket to HELL, and not in a tangible sense most of the time, but abstract, deep in her broken mind. A fragmented reality you can no longer tame; it cuts you deep and brands you with its splinters.
After Will & Way's story I fell in love with the Shilohverse, and this story helped me understand and appreciate Izzy; Her strength on so many levels. Her hope and courage. A warrior who pushes herself to survive on and on. A character that basically I didn't even LIKE to consider until this book (I'm a really bad person, I know) but I can't help but deeply respect now. 🧎🏻♀️🪽
I didn’t give it 5 stars because while it is a special book in many ways, I would not read it again and the ending was bittersweet; for that I’m glad that two more books have been announced for the Aviary series, this time with Flock's POVs and I’m SOO curious — looking forward to reading them! 😭
Buddy read with my sweetie — Jonathan 🫂
”I’m no longer a little bird lost… But a little bird found, broken wings and all.”
I didn't want to read this book. 🫣
Although I read dark romance a lot, I'm not a poly girl, so this was out of my comfort zone. I did, though. I read it (thank you Megan), and once again I was totally absorbed by Jessie Walker's writing, the way she characterizes Izzy down to the bone; her emotional and psychological state takes you to look inside yourself layer by layer in a slow, painful but also knowing way.
To say that Izzy and the Flock's has been a torturous journey would be an understatement. It has been a one-way ticket to HELL, and not in a tangible sense most of the time, but abstract, deep in her broken mind. A fragmented reality you can no longer tame; it cuts you deep and brands you with its splinters.
After Will & Way's story I fell in love with the Shilohverse, and this story helped me understand and appreciate Izzy; Her strength on so many levels. Her hope and courage. A warrior who pushes herself to survive on and on. A character that basically I didn't even LIKE to consider until this book (I'm a really bad person, I know) but I can't help but deeply respect now. 🧎🏻♀️🪽
I didn’t give it 5 stars because while it is a special book in many ways, I would not read it again and the ending was bittersweet; for that I’m glad that two more books have been announced for the Aviary series, this time with Flock's POVs and I’m SOO curious — looking forward to reading them! 😭
March 15, 2023
Please take warnings of this book seriously before you read, it is not for everyone - I can’t stress this enough.
This is probably one of the darkest books I have ever read.
But this book is also one of the best books I have ever read. Jessie’s writing style is unique and captivating. This story is Embers POV (apart from one chapter at the end) and I felt as though everything she was going through, I was alongside with her. How she felt, I also felt. This story broke me apart multiple times but it also put me back together.
Ember is without a doubt, one of the most well written characters I have come across. Her character building through out this book is absolutely phenomenal. For this to be done in one book alone and not a series, I personally think is incredible. I can’t put into words her character transformation because if I’m honest, words alone can’t do it justice. Her character will definitely stay with me forever.
Corvin, Ezio and Aquillus are also three characters which will stay with me forever. All for different reasons. I connected with all three in different ways. Each character is so different from another but together they create such a beautiful unit. They will not only protect one another but they will also protect those they are loyal too, together. (But Ezio, you have my heart)
I must also stress, while this story does have “romantic”elements, this is not a romance story. This story is dark, twisted and unhinged but in the most amazing way.
Also the villains deserve a mention within this story, The Fowler and the Wolf etc intrigue me. They are sick, unhinged, twisted men but their story makes you all more intrigued also. What is their background, why are they the way they are? The questions are endless.
This story will make you think, cry, scream, want to punch something, want to punch someone in the face but it is so worth it. It is a large book so please be prepared that you’re ready for the journey you’re going to take with these characters. I will never be able to forget this story and I hope everyone who reads it, falls in love with Ember and the boys just as much as I have. It is one of the best written books I have read, I was gripped from page one until the end. The plot twists within this book, the story line and the character development for all characters was incredible. Even thinking about this book now after I’ve read it, is making me feel emotional.
I am absolutely blown away with this story, Jessie you’ve done amazing. I’m in awe.
This is probably one of the darkest books I have ever read.
But this book is also one of the best books I have ever read. Jessie’s writing style is unique and captivating. This story is Embers POV (apart from one chapter at the end) and I felt as though everything she was going through, I was alongside with her. How she felt, I also felt. This story broke me apart multiple times but it also put me back together.
Ember is without a doubt, one of the most well written characters I have come across. Her character building through out this book is absolutely phenomenal. For this to be done in one book alone and not a series, I personally think is incredible. I can’t put into words her character transformation because if I’m honest, words alone can’t do it justice. Her character will definitely stay with me forever.
Corvin, Ezio and Aquillus are also three characters which will stay with me forever. All for different reasons. I connected with all three in different ways. Each character is so different from another but together they create such a beautiful unit. They will not only protect one another but they will also protect those they are loyal too, together. (But Ezio, you have my heart)
I must also stress, while this story does have “romantic”elements, this is not a romance story. This story is dark, twisted and unhinged but in the most amazing way.
Also the villains deserve a mention within this story, The Fowler and the Wolf etc intrigue me. They are sick, unhinged, twisted men but their story makes you all more intrigued also. What is their background, why are they the way they are? The questions are endless.
This story will make you think, cry, scream, want to punch something, want to punch someone in the face but it is so worth it. It is a large book so please be prepared that you’re ready for the journey you’re going to take with these characters. I will never be able to forget this story and I hope everyone who reads it, falls in love with Ember and the boys just as much as I have. It is one of the best written books I have read, I was gripped from page one until the end. The plot twists within this book, the story line and the character development for all characters was incredible. Even thinking about this book now after I’ve read it, is making me feel emotional.
I am absolutely blown away with this story, Jessie you’ve done amazing. I’m in awe.
Read
April 23, 2023DNF 65%
I've been trying to finish this book for a month. Every night I read a few pages and end up finding an excuse not to continue. The story is too long and drags on. It's repetitive and nothing new is happening. I started skimming around 45%. I'm out.
I've been trying to finish this book for a month. Every night I read a few pages and end up finding an excuse not to continue. The story is too long and drags on. It's repetitive and nothing new is happening. I started skimming around 45%. I'm out.
April 7, 2024
One more broken soul in here 🙋🏻♀️I’ve made it! I’m so lost for words right now…
I believe with all my heart that Jessie has the power to break me and unbreak me in the same book, not in this particular order…
And she takes care of EVERYTHING while we read her books. We can get immersed in the music with the Spotify playlist and with the visual support of her Pinterest boards. I felt like I was there. I´ve never experienced anything like this—so intense, raw, and ethereal. Thank you! I just bought the paperback because I have to hold them in my arms and feel them. Until next time*
Flock.Flock.Flock.🪽🪽🪽🪽
I’m so excited to see where Jessie takes us from here, because with that ending and the Afterwards she wrote? One thing is for sure: a huge amount of pain, angst, and suffering is coming, and I’m here for it!
To the flock all my love 🖤
I believe with all my heart that Jessie has the power to break me and unbreak me in the same book, not in this particular order…
And she takes care of EVERYTHING while we read her books. We can get immersed in the music with the Spotify playlist and with the visual support of her Pinterest boards. I felt like I was there. I´ve never experienced anything like this—so intense, raw, and ethereal. Thank you! I just bought the paperback because I have to hold them in my arms and feel them. Until next time*
Flock.Flock.Flock.🪽🪽🪽🪽
I’m so excited to see where Jessie takes us from here, because with that ending and the Afterwards she wrote? One thing is for sure: a huge amount of pain, angst, and suffering is coming, and I’m here for it!
To the flock all my love 🖤
![Profile Image for ♡Gabi♡ [life & work is chaotic atm semi-hiatus].](https://cdn.statically.io/img/i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/users/1723326521i/137459201._UX200_CR0,40,200,200_.jpg)
January 28, 2024
♾️ stars
Just finished this book at 1:48am and I truly have no words. I am speechless. All I know is that this book was unlike anything I have ever experienced or read before. I cried, my heart shattered, then got built back up, just to shatter all over again. And now it is slowly, but surely recovering. The unparalleled talent of Jessie Walker is truly mind blowing. The way I was in shock when things connected that I never ever saw coming. Wow, is all I have to say. Ember, Corvin, Aquillus, and sweet sweet Ezio… what a journey (or hell ride I should say) these characters went through. Yet, as impossible as it may seem…I love them so much. The found family between them all had me. 😭💔💔❤️🩹❤️🩹
This book was one of the darkest books I have ever read so pls be mindful of all the trigger warnings.
Just finished this book at 1:48am and I truly have no words. I am speechless. All I know is that this book was unlike anything I have ever experienced or read before. I cried, my heart shattered, then got built back up, just to shatter all over again. And now it is slowly, but surely recovering. The unparalleled talent of Jessie Walker is truly mind blowing. The way I was in shock when things connected that I never ever saw coming. Wow, is all I have to say. Ember, Corvin, Aquillus, and sweet sweet Ezio… what a journey (or hell ride I should say) these characters went through. Yet, as impossible as it may seem…I love them so much. The found family between them all had me. 😭💔💔❤️🩹❤️🩹
This book was one of the darkest books I have ever read so pls be mindful of all the trigger warnings.
January 5, 2024
✰ 2.5 stars ✰
“Where do we draw the line?
When does the captive become the captor?
When does the victim become the monster?
What are the rules when there are none?”
I had read enough spoilers to know that at some point or another I would have to read Little Bird Lost to be up to date with Jessie Walker's writing. In all honesty and fairness, it's certainly not a story I would typically read or enjoy, but as it was one of the three books released this year that took me quite awhile to finally cross off my reading bucket list - I am thankful that I finally did eventually read it.
“He’s been my captor and my abuser.
But he’s also been my savior and my sanity.
Neither can cancel out the other.”
I had some issues that weren't entirely related to the writing itself, more to the actual plot, but after reading the Author's Note, I'll try to tone it down slightly to be respectful of her choices. Yes, it is a dark and uncomfortable read, so please be mindful of the trigger warnings if it's something you're not comfortable reading. It is also a hefty read, but given the pacing and the content, it, fortunately, didn't quite have a lull at any moment. 👍🏻
It is also a MFMM story, and poly romances aren't really my cup of tea either, but well, if you want to immerse yourself in Jessie Walker's writing once more, it's certainly worth your time. Yes, there is a lot of questionable content, a lot of inexcusable actions and plenty more of uncomfortable situations that are meant to make you rage and be appalled. 😥 But, it is also the awakening and resurrection of characters who have been stripped of their innocence and lost all reason for living - until the unexpected arrival of Ember.
Ember's mind invites you into the Aviary - as disturbing and unsettling as it is - it is depicted with that intention to unnerve you. She is thrown into a situation she has no reason or want of being and you can see that even when she's drugged or hurt and abused, she still retains that inner strength and resolve not to sink into the despair and deploring filth that she has been brought to. And then there is Fowler, the ringleader and his sons - Corvin, Ezio, and Aquillus. 🩶🩶🩶
She is a resilient and likeable character, who is doing what she can to survive. If it means to justify the abuse she has to endure to move beyond it - she'll have to - if it's to seek comfort and solace in the only one who ignites a fire in her - she'll take it - if it's to sympathize with the one who is as broken as her - she'll give it. It's that courage and faith that lingers within her - that memory of her life that she'll never abandon - even as the time goes by - that remains her guiding light. 🙏🏻🙏🏻
“Don’t cry for me,�� he says, and it’s only then I realize how blurry he looks right now. “I don’t deserve your tears.”
Shaking my head fiercely, I drop my hand and say, “I’ve already been stripped of every other freedom. You don’t get to take that too. You don’t get to tell me what I feel. If I want to give you my tears, that is my fucking choice.”
The four of them develop a bond - a deep-knitted sense of kindred spirits that she, time and time again, is so conflicted upon, because how can she forgive the very people who are hurting here? It's this foreboding feeling that they are so secluded and cut off from everyone else, that they have only each other to turn to - that she can find it in her to connect with them - that they are the special chosen few - who will rise above this adversity. 'I’ll never understand it, never understand this. Us. And I don’t think I want to.' ❤️🩹❤️🩹
And yet, through their shared pain - through the moments when she is the victim at their hands, she becomes stronger for it - depicted in some rather abstract and flowery descriptions which did tend to go on a bit longer than necessary, but she was, for lack of a choosier word, turning into a phoenix - a firecracker who had come to bring down this demented cult of sex and drugs and violent inhibitions and depraved tendencies that didn't have any reason for existing, but still did.
And yet, given the many gratuitous pages I had to read through, I couldn't quite feel anything for either of the three main boys - this was probably the most shocking revelation for me. They did not become characters I could - well, not relate to, but at least, empathize with their situation - feel for their loss of life and how they're forced to submit to the Fowler's beck and call. As much as they are presented as these intriguing, beautiful, and tortured souls - sadly I could never form any emotional attachment to them; perhaps, this was because I only got to see them through Ember's perspective, so it never allowed them to grow as people for me. 🤷🏻♀️
There was just - no soul to either of them - because so much was simply her impression of them and what they willingly shared with her. And if not for the ending that further proved my feelings, as well as the Author's Note that helped me understand why I felt this way. For others, maybe not- but now that, in a way, I feel that the lack of development to them was deliberate - I'll have to accept that this is my own personal grievance, which I hope will be rectified in the future. 😔
“The light might be more forgiving on the eyes, but not on the grievances of the heart. Or the yearnings of the soul.
And oh, how I grieve. How I yearn. Despite how much I wish it wasn’t so.”
I liked the structure of the story - the author had a unique outline that followed a compelling trajectory that showed the stages in Ember's life - culminating in an explosive reveal that did surprise me. I was caught off-guard by the last chapter - yes, there is a surprise twist to it, which further asserts my belief that perhaps, the characters will connect with me more later. The writing was poetic and vivid at times that had some beautiful expressions that really moved me.
But, conversely, it did become a little too redundant and overly flowery and more often than not, repetitive. I didn't like how much it was stressed upon the ethereal beauty of the boys and how special a character she is - the special chosen one who is different from the rest of the people caught up in the depraved actions. 'Perhaps I’m not meant to. Perhaps it’s like what he said about the Fowler so long ago—it’s when I stop trying to look for a why, that it all starts to make sense.' 🥺 A lot could have easily been cut out to emphasize on a more compact and direct story rather than the tedious round-about approach it went to at times.
Plus, half the time the Fowler was talking - I just wanted him to stop talking - his philosophical drivel made no sense to me - much like a cartoon villain who goes on his whole tirade of world domination - only for the hero to immediately burn out the fuse that he'd lit. Hence, one part of the story that I felt burned out too quickly was the ending; it felt a little too rushed, further worsened by how almost everything fell apart too easily and conveniently for Ember, - even with the many questions that plagued me at why it turned out the way it did. 😣 It was harrowing and heart-breaking and almost painful to see the lengths Ember went to - to achieve even the littlest bit of happiness and trust - only for it to be taken away from her so violently and viciously so.
“It’s where the three of them fell in love in ways most people could never fathom. The kind of love that has no definition. The kind that is forged in blood, sweat, tears, and pain…so much fucking pain.
It’s a love you wouldn’t just die for, but the kind you’d sell your soul and commit unspeakable acts to protect.
It’s not a good love.
It’s not a bad love.
It just is.
And for a brief, all-too-short time, I was fortunate enough to get a taste of that love.”
So, no, it wasn't the worst of reads - believe me, it wasn't. It is dark, but there is also a lot of light and hope to it - with the promise that Ember will rise out of the ashes and reclaim her Flock, for her own - one that she will earn with her own right, rather than having it forced upon her. And if that is something that she needs in order to survive, then I look forward to that day when it finally happens. ✨✨
“Where do we draw the line?
When does the captive become the captor?
When does the victim become the monster?
What are the rules when there are none?”
I had read enough spoilers to know that at some point or another I would have to read Little Bird Lost to be up to date with Jessie Walker's writing. In all honesty and fairness, it's certainly not a story I would typically read or enjoy, but as it was one of the three books released this year that took me quite awhile to finally cross off my reading bucket list - I am thankful that I finally did eventually read it.
“He’s been my captor and my abuser.
But he’s also been my savior and my sanity.
Neither can cancel out the other.”
I had some issues that weren't entirely related to the writing itself, more to the actual plot, but after reading the Author's Note, I'll try to tone it down slightly to be respectful of her choices. Yes, it is a dark and uncomfortable read, so please be mindful of the trigger warnings if it's something you're not comfortable reading. It is also a hefty read, but given the pacing and the content, it, fortunately, didn't quite have a lull at any moment. 👍🏻
It is also a MFMM story, and poly romances aren't really my cup of tea either, but well, if you want to immerse yourself in Jessie Walker's writing once more, it's certainly worth your time. Yes, there is a lot of questionable content, a lot of inexcusable actions and plenty more of uncomfortable situations that are meant to make you rage and be appalled. 😥 But, it is also the awakening and resurrection of characters who have been stripped of their innocence and lost all reason for living - until the unexpected arrival of Ember.
Ember's mind invites you into the Aviary - as disturbing and unsettling as it is - it is depicted with that intention to unnerve you. She is thrown into a situation she has no reason or want of being and you can see that even when she's drugged or hurt and abused, she still retains that inner strength and resolve not to sink into the despair and deploring filth that she has been brought to. And then there is Fowler, the ringleader and his sons - Corvin, Ezio, and Aquillus. 🩶🩶🩶
She is a resilient and likeable character, who is doing what she can to survive. If it means to justify the abuse she has to endure to move beyond it - she'll have to - if it's to seek comfort and solace in the only one who ignites a fire in her - she'll take it - if it's to sympathize with the one who is as broken as her - she'll give it. It's that courage and faith that lingers within her - that memory of her life that she'll never abandon - even as the time goes by - that remains her guiding light. 🙏🏻🙏🏻
“Don’t cry for me,�� he says, and it’s only then I realize how blurry he looks right now. “I don’t deserve your tears.”
Shaking my head fiercely, I drop my hand and say, “I’ve already been stripped of every other freedom. You don’t get to take that too. You don’t get to tell me what I feel. If I want to give you my tears, that is my fucking choice.”
The four of them develop a bond - a deep-knitted sense of kindred spirits that she, time and time again, is so conflicted upon, because how can she forgive the very people who are hurting here? It's this foreboding feeling that they are so secluded and cut off from everyone else, that they have only each other to turn to - that she can find it in her to connect with them - that they are the special chosen few - who will rise above this adversity. 'I’ll never understand it, never understand this. Us. And I don’t think I want to.' ❤️🩹❤️🩹
And yet, through their shared pain - through the moments when she is the victim at their hands, she becomes stronger for it - depicted in some rather abstract and flowery descriptions which did tend to go on a bit longer than necessary, but she was, for lack of a choosier word, turning into a phoenix - a firecracker who had come to bring down this demented cult of sex and drugs and violent inhibitions and depraved tendencies that didn't have any reason for existing, but still did.
And yet, given the many gratuitous pages I had to read through, I couldn't quite feel anything for either of the three main boys - this was probably the most shocking revelation for me. They did not become characters I could - well, not relate to, but at least, empathize with their situation - feel for their loss of life and how they're forced to submit to the Fowler's beck and call. As much as they are presented as these intriguing, beautiful, and tortured souls - sadly I could never form any emotional attachment to them; perhaps, this was because I only got to see them through Ember's perspective, so it never allowed them to grow as people for me. 🤷🏻♀️
There was just - no soul to either of them - because so much was simply her impression of them and what they willingly shared with her. And if not for the ending that further proved my feelings, as well as the Author's Note that helped me understand why I felt this way. For others, maybe not- but now that, in a way, I feel that the lack of development to them was deliberate - I'll have to accept that this is my own personal grievance, which I hope will be rectified in the future. 😔
“The light might be more forgiving on the eyes, but not on the grievances of the heart. Or the yearnings of the soul.
And oh, how I grieve. How I yearn. Despite how much I wish it wasn’t so.”
I liked the structure of the story - the author had a unique outline that followed a compelling trajectory that showed the stages in Ember's life - culminating in an explosive reveal that did surprise me. I was caught off-guard by the last chapter - yes, there is a surprise twist to it, which further asserts my belief that perhaps, the characters will connect with me more later. The writing was poetic and vivid at times that had some beautiful expressions that really moved me.
But, conversely, it did become a little too redundant and overly flowery and more often than not, repetitive. I didn't like how much it was stressed upon the ethereal beauty of the boys and how special a character she is - the special chosen one who is different from the rest of the people caught up in the depraved actions. 'Perhaps I’m not meant to. Perhaps it’s like what he said about the Fowler so long ago—it’s when I stop trying to look for a why, that it all starts to make sense.' 🥺 A lot could have easily been cut out to emphasize on a more compact and direct story rather than the tedious round-about approach it went to at times.
Plus, half the time the Fowler was talking - I just wanted him to stop talking - his philosophical drivel made no sense to me - much like a cartoon villain who goes on his whole tirade of world domination - only for the hero to immediately burn out the fuse that he'd lit. Hence, one part of the story that I felt burned out too quickly was the ending; it felt a little too rushed, further worsened by how almost everything fell apart too easily and conveniently for Ember, - even with the many questions that plagued me at why it turned out the way it did. 😣 It was harrowing and heart-breaking and almost painful to see the lengths Ember went to - to achieve even the littlest bit of happiness and trust - only for it to be taken away from her so violently and viciously so.
“It’s where the three of them fell in love in ways most people could never fathom. The kind of love that has no definition. The kind that is forged in blood, sweat, tears, and pain…so much fucking pain.
It’s a love you wouldn’t just die for, but the kind you’d sell your soul and commit unspeakable acts to protect.
It’s not a good love.
It’s not a bad love.
It just is.
And for a brief, all-too-short time, I was fortunate enough to get a taste of that love.”
So, no, it wasn't the worst of reads - believe me, it wasn't. It is dark, but there is also a lot of light and hope to it - with the promise that Ember will rise out of the ashes and reclaim her Flock, for her own - one that she will earn with her own right, rather than having it forced upon her. And if that is something that she needs in order to survive, then I look forward to that day when it finally happens. ✨✨
March 27, 2023
i’m in tears what did you put in this book man
April 1, 2023
Little Bird Lost by Jessie Walker is a contemporary gothic with poly romance elements, inspired by the Brother’s Grimm Golden Bird/Firebird fairytale. This is part one of the Aviary Duet — which is interconnected with Walker’s Lost Boys series.
You do not need to have read Walker's Lost Boys books to read this, nor do you have to know the Firebird folktale.
I’ll reveal my bias right now by explaining that I basically start drooling like Pavlov’s dog when I hear about anything Brother’s Grimm-related in the romance genre. Those gruesome gothic fairytales were some of my favourites growing up and they sparked my love for gothic literature, and I guess eventually dark romance. So the idea of an 800+ page Firebird retelling that is dark, romantic and emotional had my mouth instantly watering...
But let me tell you, this is now the standard to which I hold all other Brothers Grimm retellings.
This book is really dark — I definitely recommend going in blind if that is a safe choice for you, however, you can find the content warnings on Walker’s website (click here). Please use caution as some of these can be considered spoilers. There are explicit sexual scenes in this book.
Little Bird Lost is not a literal retelling, nor is it a traditional romance. The Firebird fairytale clearly brings certain elements to life, but the story itself is incredibly original and, in my opinion, executed to perfection. I finished this book with an overwhelming sense of awe at Walker’s ability and this incredible story that took me on such a thought-provoking and emotional adventure. This book will haunt me in the best way; I will without a doubt return to it, and I will be eagerly anticipating the conclusion to this duet until I have it in my hands (expected 2024, per the author's note).
This story is told in first person and limited to the perspective of the female protagonist. I’m intentionally leaving her name out as it is kept secret for some of the book. We first meet her as a captive in a strange and cruel place where she is forced to let go of everything she’s ever known, including her own identity. This is her harrowing journey of survival, adaptation and transformation.
I won’t explain any more about the actual plot, but I thoroughly recommend this one if you enjoy dark retellings, poetic writing, intensely emotional storylines and situations, and complicated characters. This book crawled beneath my skin and scarred my heart. Walker's prose is beautiful, evocative and haunting. I found myself hanging onto every word, so enamoured with this horrific story, and so attached to these incredible characters. It's definitely a new favourite, likely one of my top reads of the year, and I cannot wait to read Walker’s other books.
Walker has structured this book like a symphony and has created an incredible playlist with songs that correspond to each section. If you know me, this kind of thing is my kryptonite. I highly recommend pairing the playlist with your reading experience. It can be found here (Spotify).
Walker is a new-to-me author, and I understand this is quite different from her other work. Regardless, I am excited to read her backlist and whatever is to come! I have a new obsession, and I'm not mad about it.
You do not need to have read Walker's Lost Boys books to read this, nor do you have to know the Firebird folktale.
I’ll reveal my bias right now by explaining that I basically start drooling like Pavlov’s dog when I hear about anything Brother’s Grimm-related in the romance genre. Those gruesome gothic fairytales were some of my favourites growing up and they sparked my love for gothic literature, and I guess eventually dark romance. So the idea of an 800+ page Firebird retelling that is dark, romantic and emotional had my mouth instantly watering...
But let me tell you, this is now the standard to which I hold all other Brothers Grimm retellings.
“It’s a far worse fate than death, I imagine. To be caged.”
This book is really dark — I definitely recommend going in blind if that is a safe choice for you, however, you can find the content warnings on Walker’s website (click here). Please use caution as some of these can be considered spoilers. There are explicit sexual scenes in this book.
Little Bird Lost is not a literal retelling, nor is it a traditional romance. The Firebird fairytale clearly brings certain elements to life, but the story itself is incredibly original and, in my opinion, executed to perfection. I finished this book with an overwhelming sense of awe at Walker’s ability and this incredible story that took me on such a thought-provoking and emotional adventure. This book will haunt me in the best way; I will without a doubt return to it, and I will be eagerly anticipating the conclusion to this duet until I have it in my hands (expected 2024, per the author's note).
“Some people freeze, some people flee… But me? I’ve always been a fighter. Trap me, corner me, and the claws come out.”
This story is told in first person and limited to the perspective of the female protagonist. I’m intentionally leaving her name out as it is kept secret for some of the book. We first meet her as a captive in a strange and cruel place where she is forced to let go of everything she’s ever known, including her own identity. This is her harrowing journey of survival, adaptation and transformation.
I won’t explain any more about the actual plot, but I thoroughly recommend this one if you enjoy dark retellings, poetic writing, intensely emotional storylines and situations, and complicated characters. This book crawled beneath my skin and scarred my heart. Walker's prose is beautiful, evocative and haunting. I found myself hanging onto every word, so enamoured with this horrific story, and so attached to these incredible characters. It's definitely a new favourite, likely one of my top reads of the year, and I cannot wait to read Walker’s other books.
“Only a monster can survive another monster.”
Walker has structured this book like a symphony and has created an incredible playlist with songs that correspond to each section. If you know me, this kind of thing is my kryptonite. I highly recommend pairing the playlist with your reading experience. It can be found here (Spotify).
Walker is a new-to-me author, and I understand this is quite different from her other work. Regardless, I am excited to read her backlist and whatever is to come! I have a new obsession, and I'm not mad about it.
March 20, 2023
When you're supposed to be reading another book and then you see "dark, why choose, reverse harem, legend of the fire-bird inspired, romance". What's a girl to do? (At least I'm using my Kindle Unlimited Subscription)
Also page 1, the author references one of my favorite pieces of music of ALLLLLL TIME: Valse sentimentale by Tchaikovsky AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Really hoping this doesn't turn into dark/horror/erotica/snuff.
Update (3/20/2023):
DNF page 568 (out of 803 pages)
I'm not going to go on and on about why I dnf'd this book, however here are the highlights:
-F*ck appears 425 times in this book, the repetition started to really annoy me. The word could have been bananas and it still would have been annoying. People don't talk like this. Word repetition like this is sloppy writing and ruins the experience for the reader.
-Major character development is mentioned to have happened off page after big time jumps (3 years ect.). This is sloppy writing, no one can get a feel for the characters if this happens. It feels like major whiplash when they appear again.
-The MM relationship in this MFMM takes precedence over the other relationships. Which is fine, but the only pov we get is the FMC's, so it makes her relationships seem secondary to the plot.
-This book is a prequel to the author's main MM series, but it wasn't mentioned so the big reveal seems very meh, since I had no context from the other books. You need to have read her other books first before reading this one technically. This was not mentioned anywhere at all before I started reading the book.
-The scene transitions were sloppy and disorienting.
-Finally it seemed like the author just flew by the seat of her pants as she was writing this. It didn't seem like the story was planned out well.
All of this is really sad since the concept and first 25% of this book is actually really good.
Also page 1, the author references one of my favorite pieces of music of ALLLLLL TIME: Valse sentimentale by Tchaikovsky AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Really hoping this doesn't turn into dark/horror/erotica/snuff.
Update (3/20/2023):
DNF page 568 (out of 803 pages)
I'm not going to go on and on about why I dnf'd this book, however here are the highlights:
-F*ck appears 425 times in this book, the repetition started to really annoy me. The word could have been bananas and it still would have been annoying. People don't talk like this. Word repetition like this is sloppy writing and ruins the experience for the reader.
-Major character development is mentioned to have happened off page after big time jumps (3 years ect.). This is sloppy writing, no one can get a feel for the characters if this happens. It feels like major whiplash when they appear again.
-The MM relationship in this MFMM takes precedence over the other relationships. Which is fine, but the only pov we get is the FMC's, so it makes her relationships seem secondary to the plot.
-This book is a prequel to the author's main MM series, but it wasn't mentioned so the big reveal seems very meh, since I had no context from the other books. You need to have read her other books first before reading this one technically. This was not mentioned anywhere at all before I started reading the book.
-The scene transitions were sloppy and disorienting.
-Finally it seemed like the author just flew by the seat of her pants as she was writing this. It didn't seem like the story was planned out well.
All of this is really sad since the concept and first 25% of this book is actually really good.
April 11, 2024
Reread March 2024: review to come but A MASTERPIECE in every sense of the word and if you don't love the FMC after reading this and the authors note idk what's wrong with you
Original review- July 2023
I thought I understood "screaming, crying, throwing up" before reading this.... turns out I did not and now I FUCKING GET IT.
Im kinda traumatised tbh. I am a husk of a person 😭😭😭 this put me through all 7 stages of grief. If you loved lost boys and are waiting for Every Breath After, I strongly recommend reading this. I'd almost go as far to say it's necessary.
Ok now on to my actual thoughts on the characters. I loved the main cast in this. The FMC went THROUGH IT. She deserves a break and I hope the sequel provides that for her. Against all odds, I was rooting for Corvin so hard, and the way he softens around the twins, especially Aquillus, was just 🥹🥹 SPEAKING OF THE TWINS, I LOVE THEM, AND I WANT NOTHING BUT THE BEST FOR THEM. In saying that there's some real evil pieces of shit in this, so you have been warned.
This shit is dark, man, and it isn't a romance but it's setting us up for an epic one. All the best happy endings are hard earned and I can't wait to continue suffering at Jessie's hands 😂
Original review- July 2023
I thought I understood "screaming, crying, throwing up" before reading this.... turns out I did not and now I FUCKING GET IT.
Im kinda traumatised tbh. I am a husk of a person 😭😭😭 this put me through all 7 stages of grief. If you loved lost boys and are waiting for Every Breath After, I strongly recommend reading this. I'd almost go as far to say it's necessary.
Ok now on to my actual thoughts on the characters. I loved the main cast in this. The FMC went THROUGH IT. She deserves a break and I hope the sequel provides that for her. Against all odds, I was rooting for Corvin so hard, and the way he softens around the twins, especially Aquillus, was just 🥹🥹 SPEAKING OF THE TWINS, I LOVE THEM, AND I WANT NOTHING BUT THE BEST FOR THEM. In saying that there's some real evil pieces of shit in this, so you have been warned.
This shit is dark, man, and it isn't a romance but it's setting us up for an epic one. All the best happy endings are hard earned and I can't wait to continue suffering at Jessie's hands 😂
June 18, 2024
i will write a (sorta) coherent review when i can put my thoughts into words because i have a lot but i don’t know it’s difficult to verbalise them.
so bear with me because imma write a long and lengthy review about the psychology that went into writing this book and how it’s supposed to fuck with ur brain and it did exactly that. it makes u think about the worst fucking things ever and it’s mad fascinating.
——
live love lobotomy
i don’t necessarily wanna kill myself but the book kinda did that for me😌🔫
anyway 5/5
(this book is going to haunt my ever waking thought for the rest of time guys)
so bear with me because imma write a long and lengthy review about the psychology that went into writing this book and how it’s supposed to fuck with ur brain and it did exactly that. it makes u think about the worst fucking things ever and it’s mad fascinating.
——
live love lobotomy
i don’t necessarily wanna kill myself but the book kinda did that for me😌🔫
anyway 5/5
(this book is going to haunt my ever waking thought for the rest of time guys)
July 12, 2024
I WILL NOT KNOW PEACE UNTIL I HAVE ALL THE CONCLUSIONS 😩
March 15, 2023
I have no words.
I am STUMPED.
FLOORED.
DECEASED.
💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀
I won’t give too much here because - trust me - you need to head into this blind. Don’t read any spoiler reviews, don’t even THINK. Just DO.
This story is dark AF (my favorite) and incredibly disturbing. The single POV keeps you in the dark the entire time…. I was ITCHING for answers like an addict. Unraveling everything at the same time as the MC is a pure genius approach from Jessie.
As always, the writing is gorgeous and the story flowed seamlessly. Beware - this is a thiiiiiiiic boi, so make sure you carve out some serious time to dedicate to it. Did it need to be this long? 🤔🤔🤔 Hmmmmm…. Probably not. Do I care? No.
Get ready to have your jaw on the floor and your heart lodged in your throat. And bring tissues. Lots and lots and lots of tissues.
Check your TW’s for this one 🖤
I am STUMPED.
FLOORED.
DECEASED.
💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀
I won’t give too much here because - trust me - you need to head into this blind. Don’t read any spoiler reviews, don’t even THINK. Just DO.
This story is dark AF (my favorite) and incredibly disturbing. The single POV keeps you in the dark the entire time…. I was ITCHING for answers like an addict. Unraveling everything at the same time as the MC is a pure genius approach from Jessie.
As always, the writing is gorgeous and the story flowed seamlessly. Beware - this is a thiiiiiiiic boi, so make sure you carve out some serious time to dedicate to it. Did it need to be this long? 🤔🤔🤔 Hmmmmm…. Probably not. Do I care? No.
Get ready to have your jaw on the floor and your heart lodged in your throat. And bring tissues. Lots and lots and lots of tissues.
Check your TW’s for this one 🖤
April 7, 2023
I don’t even know how to really write a review for this masterpiece. It’s dark, it’s gritty, it’s a mind-fuck quite honestly. Half the time it felt like a fever dream… But the storytelling is UNREAL.
I initially didn’t think I was going to read this assuming that a lot of it wasn’t up my alley. But I am so glad I did. I was completely enraptured by the story and these characters.
One thing I absolutely love about Jessie’s writing is the depth of her characters. Everyone is flawed, nobody makes perfect choices, things are messy - but they are raw and real. And this one was no exception. I have so many thoughts and feelings about each and every one of these characters.
This is not romance. There are romantic elements but at the heart it is a heartbreaking story of survival and a deep emotional journey. I won’t say much more because I went into it blind and am so glad I did because my experience was a whole ride. I will be thinking about this book for a long time to come.
***please check any and all trigger warnings to protect yourself if in any doubt***
I finished this book and instantly had a mini hangover. I need more. More about these characters, more from this world (looking at you Mason & Jeremy), just MORE. I can’t wait for Jessie to shatter my heart and piece it back together over and over again in the future.
I initially didn’t think I was going to read this assuming that a lot of it wasn’t up my alley. But I am so glad I did. I was completely enraptured by the story and these characters.
One thing I absolutely love about Jessie’s writing is the depth of her characters. Everyone is flawed, nobody makes perfect choices, things are messy - but they are raw and real. And this one was no exception. I have so many thoughts and feelings about each and every one of these characters.
This is not romance. There are romantic elements but at the heart it is a heartbreaking story of survival and a deep emotional journey. I won’t say much more because I went into it blind and am so glad I did because my experience was a whole ride. I will be thinking about this book for a long time to come.
***please check any and all trigger warnings to protect yourself if in any doubt***
I finished this book and instantly had a mini hangover. I need more. More about these characters, more from this world (looking at you Mason & Jeremy), just MORE. I can’t wait for Jessie to shatter my heart and piece it back together over and over again in the future.
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