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HardCell #0.5
Seedy Business
Official Description: Revenge can get sticky.
This prequel to Grown Men* is a crazy sci-fi short about sperm piracy and sibling rivalry gone seriously wrong.
When corporate mercenary Beirn agrees to a sleazy organ harvest job, he walks straight into his worst nightmare, a trap set by the twin brother he betrayed. Against his better judgment, Beirn teams up with a semen smuggler to save his own skin and hopefully make amends to the only family he has left.
Loathing turns to lust as the two men grapple with their violent impulses and their growing desire. In one terrible night, impossible feelings will force Beirn to understand the brother he betrayed and the mistakes he's made.
Warning: doublecrosses, dirty sex, and designer testicles
* These stories can be read in any order.
Original Prompt:
Dear Author,
My momma always told me anything was possible...but I'm not too sure she'd considered these boys! Will you prove my momma right?
Photo Description:
Two smiling, uncut men stand naked next to each other beside a grey tree on a tropical beach. One is hyper-masculine, all-over bigger and hairier than the other. His right arm drapes over the right shoulder of the shorter man, who barely reaches his shoulder in height.
This story was written as a part of the M/M Romance Group's "Hot Summer Days" event. Group members were asked to write a story prompt inspired by a photo of their choice. Authors of the group selected a photo and prompt that spoke to them and wrote a short story.
Download the story, read it here or find it in Don't Read in the Closet, Volume 3 or Don't Read in the Closet: GayRomLit Retreat 2011 Special Edition.
__________
Genre: sci-fi
Tags: gay m/m, sperm piracy, giant, mercenary, criminals, hormones, twins, doublecross, sounding, science fiction
Word Count: 12,055
This prequel to Grown Men* is a crazy sci-fi short about sperm piracy and sibling rivalry gone seriously wrong.
When corporate mercenary Beirn agrees to a sleazy organ harvest job, he walks straight into his worst nightmare, a trap set by the twin brother he betrayed. Against his better judgment, Beirn teams up with a semen smuggler to save his own skin and hopefully make amends to the only family he has left.
Loathing turns to lust as the two men grapple with their violent impulses and their growing desire. In one terrible night, impossible feelings will force Beirn to understand the brother he betrayed and the mistakes he's made.
Warning: doublecrosses, dirty sex, and designer testicles
* These stories can be read in any order.
Original Prompt:
Dear Author,
My momma always told me anything was possible...but I'm not too sure she'd considered these boys! Will you prove my momma right?
Photo Description:
Two smiling, uncut men stand naked next to each other beside a grey tree on a tropical beach. One is hyper-masculine, all-over bigger and hairier than the other. His right arm drapes over the right shoulder of the shorter man, who barely reaches his shoulder in height.
This story was written as a part of the M/M Romance Group's "Hot Summer Days" event. Group members were asked to write a story prompt inspired by a photo of their choice. Authors of the group selected a photo and prompt that spoke to them and wrote a short story.
Download the story, read it here or find it in Don't Read in the Closet, Volume 3 or Don't Read in the Closet: GayRomLit Retreat 2011 Special Edition.
__________
Genre: sci-fi
Tags: gay m/m, sperm piracy, giant, mercenary, criminals, hormones, twins, doublecross, sounding, science fiction
Word Count: 12,055
29 pages, ebook
First published July 24, 2011
About the author
Damon Suede
20 books2,185 followersDamon Suede grew up out-n-proud deep in the anus of right-wing America, and escaped as soon as it was legal. He has lived all over and along the way, he’s earned his crust as a model, a messenger, a promoter, a programmer, a sculptor, a singer, a stripper, a bookkeeper, a bartender, a techie, a teacher, a director... but writing has ever been his bread and butter. He has been happily partnered for over a decade with the most loving, handsome, shrewd, hilarious, noble man to walk this planet.
Though new to gay romance, Damon is an award-winning author who has been writing for print, stage, and screen for two decades, which is both more and less glamorous than you might imagine. He's won some awards, but he counts his blessings more often: his amazing friends, his demented family, his beautiful husband, his loyal fans, and his silly, stern, seductive Muse who keeps whispering in his ear, year after year.
Damon would love to hear from you... you can get in touch with him here.
DamonSuede.com
Dreamspinner Press
Amazon
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 70 reviews
October 29, 2011
This is a bold, funny, creative short story set in the same world of Grown Men and it sheds some light on what happens to the protagonist of that story, Ox.
In this short, Ox's twin brother, Beirn, is on a mission to rescue is brother after having practically sold him to a sperm harvester. When he arrives to the place where his brother is held, it's too late: Ox has managed to escape and has built a trap for Beirn and his accomplice Zed.
The protagonists of this story are anti-heroes: the giant Beirn is a selfish assassin, bordering on psycopath; Zed is a criminal. As we get at the end of the story, while Beirn reconsiders his past actions and feels at least a glimpse of remorse, the reader can't help beginning to like him.
The sci-fi setting was a bit confusing for me at the beginning and the story telling was so fast it made me dizzy. I also learned a lot of new words for sperm: I am a non native speaker and I truly appreciate when I can broaden my vocabulary.
Even if the protagonists are not immediately likable, it's impossible not to want to know where they will get, what will happen to them, if and how Beirn will try to get into contact with his brother.
In this short, Ox's twin brother, Beirn, is on a mission to rescue is brother after having practically sold him to a sperm harvester. When he arrives to the place where his brother is held, it's too late: Ox has managed to escape and has built a trap for Beirn and his accomplice Zed.
The protagonists of this story are anti-heroes: the giant Beirn is a selfish assassin, bordering on psycopath; Zed is a criminal. As we get at the end of the story, while Beirn reconsiders his past actions and feels at least a glimpse of remorse, the reader can't help beginning to like him.
The sci-fi setting was a bit confusing for me at the beginning and the story telling was so fast it made me dizzy. I also learned a lot of new words for sperm: I am a non native speaker and I truly appreciate when I can broaden my vocabulary.
Even if the protagonists are not immediately likable, it's impossible not to want to know where they will get, what will happen to them, if and how Beirn will try to get into contact with his brother.
May 31, 2016
1.5 stars, rounded up
Me after reading the first three paragraphs:
In fact, that was my reaction throughout the short story.
The main characters aren't particularly likeable, the romance isn't really a romance, and the sheer what-the-fuckery made me question my reading choices.
And yet, if you just sit back and let it happen, it's not that bad. It's written well too. I don't think I've ever been as fascinated yet simultaneously grossed out by the world-building as I was reading 'Seedy Business'.
If you're looking for something different, give this a try.
Me after reading the first three paragraphs:
In fact, that was my reaction throughout the short story.
The main characters aren't particularly likeable, the romance isn't really a romance, and the sheer what-the-fuckery made me question my reading choices.
And yet, if you just sit back and let it happen, it's not that bad. It's written well too. I don't think I've ever been as fascinated yet simultaneously grossed out by the world-building as I was reading 'Seedy Business'.
If you're looking for something different, give this a try.
August 27, 2012
Funny, weird, whacko. I was laughing out loud several times. This has explicit erotic gay male sex.
A sperm pirate kidnapped or somehow obtained donors (victims). They are strapped down with machines feeding them drugs and milking them every two hours. Beirn is sneaking up on the place, planning to free his brother Ox. I’ve never read anything like this. I loved the set up and the author’s creative and funny body part terms.
The negatives:
The relationship between the two guys was too vague. I wanted more clarity. It was unfinished.
This is a short story, a free download from Goodreads. It gives a little back story for the sequel “Grown Men.” The characters in this story are Beirn and Zed. Their story does not continue in the sequel. The characters in the sequel are Ox and Runt.
DATA:
Narrative mode: 3rd person. Kindle count story length: 688. Swearing language: strong. Sexual language: strong. Number of sex scenes: two or more - hard to count since much of the story is about sperm collection. Setting: unknown time on another planet. Copyright: 2011. Genre: erotic sci fi gay male fiction.
A sperm pirate kidnapped or somehow obtained donors (victims). They are strapped down with machines feeding them drugs and milking them every two hours. Beirn is sneaking up on the place, planning to free his brother Ox. I’ve never read anything like this. I loved the set up and the author’s creative and funny body part terms.
The negatives:
The relationship between the two guys was too vague. I wanted more clarity. It was unfinished.
This is a short story, a free download from Goodreads. It gives a little back story for the sequel “Grown Men.” The characters in this story are Beirn and Zed. Their story does not continue in the sequel. The characters in the sequel are Ox and Runt.
DATA:
Narrative mode: 3rd person. Kindle count story length: 688. Swearing language: strong. Sexual language: strong. Number of sex scenes: two or more - hard to count since much of the story is about sperm collection. Setting: unknown time on another planet. Copyright: 2011. Genre: erotic sci fi gay male fiction.
July 23, 2019
I really enjoyed this one! Definitely one of my fave stories posted so far! :)
Fantastic world-building, terrific characters, and I absolutely loved the humour, writing style, and dialogue (especially Beirn's internal thoughts)! It was such a page-turner, and I was so sad to see it end.
Can we get a sequel? Please, please?! :D I would love a continuation of their story/adventures, and my inner-kink is dying to know what else these two could get up to "between the sheets". Oh, the possibilities! Haha! :P I'd also love to see some from Zed's PoV as well. :)
--------------------
Story Prompt:
My momma always told me anything was possible...but I'm not too sure she'd considered these boys! Will you prove my momma right?
Fantastic world-building, terrific characters, and I absolutely loved the humour, writing style, and dialogue (especially Beirn's internal thoughts)! It was such a page-turner, and I was so sad to see it end.
Can we get a sequel? Please, please?! :D I would love a continuation of their story/adventures, and my inner-kink is dying to know what else these two could get up to "between the sheets". Oh, the possibilities! Haha! :P I'd also love to see some from Zed's PoV as well. :)
--------------------
Story Prompt:
My momma always told me anything was possible...but I'm not too sure she'd considered these boys! Will you prove my momma right?
January 17, 2012
I wanted to be squicked out by the over load of details that you don't often get in m/m fiction, but it was just too amazing. I loved every moment of it. I can honestly say that this is one of the most unique stories that I have read and it was so well rounded that it felt like a definite possibility that this is what the future could be like. The characters were just as unusual and disturbed as their environment, and the story altogether was something I'd love to read more of.
November 3, 2011
Excellent world-building, characters you start out hating and end up loving, laugh-out-loud phrases and comments on every single page. All in a short-story.
"Seedy Business" achieves what the majority of full length novels only aspire to. I understand there's another related story and cannot wait to read it.
"Seedy Business" achieves what the majority of full length novels only aspire to. I understand there's another related story and cannot wait to read it.
October 3, 2012
Um...eewwwwwwww!!!! This was unique...and gross. Although I am interested in reading the sequel
July 31, 2011
4.5 stars.
Good Lord Damon! I'm kind of speechless... I knew this was going to kind of out-there, but..?
Before tonight, Beirn had never stolen a set of designer testicles.
Now with a start like this, I realized that I'd better be ready for anything!
Beirn & Zed are fairly despicable characters yet somehow, by the end, I was feeling sorry for them and hoped they would work things out together. Just how did you do that? I mean, to sell Ox's balls, trap him with Zed, yet feel sorry for him? Damn!
Then you had me cracking up at some the images you painted:-
This is my punishment: a dwarf in heat chucking his muck on me.
So while I have yet to decide if I actually liked this story or not, I certainly can say it was one heck of a story!
Well, after reading it a second time I decided that I do like it, but it gave me a hell of a shock initially!
PS. I love the cover you created for this Damon - it's perfect!
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
June 29, 2012
3.5 stars
I thought this was really good until the very end (the last page or two), at which point I found one of the characters' attitude shift jarring in its abruptness. But I rounded up because this little story is free and certainly worth reading. It also gives some interesting and useful backstory for Grown Men, a novella which I found excellent and certainly superior to this story. It also has some elements from this story that make this story feel like a rough draft for that novella. The world building here is impressive for the length, and Mr. Suede is a solid writer with a mature voice and solid command of the written word. His prose flows and there's none of the stilted, awkward feeling common in m/m writing.
A solid introduction to Mr. Suede's writing and to the HardCell series, but inferior to his longer writing.
I thought this was really good until the very end (the last page or two), at which point I found one of the characters' attitude shift jarring in its abruptness. But I rounded up because this little story is free and certainly worth reading. It also gives some interesting and useful backstory for Grown Men, a novella which I found excellent and certainly superior to this story. It also has some elements from this story that make this story feel like a rough draft for that novella. The world building here is impressive for the length, and Mr. Suede is a solid writer with a mature voice and solid command of the written word. His prose flows and there's none of the stilted, awkward feeling common in m/m writing.
A solid introduction to Mr. Suede's writing and to the HardCell series, but inferior to his longer writing.
August 6, 2011
Huh, I was actually rendered kind of speechless (temporarily) and that's a minor miracle as well as a compliment! ;) I'm very impressed with the level of world building packed into this short story - amazing creativity and imagination. But more impressive even, is the fact that I was actually kind of rooting for these guys when I really just wanted to hate them - skillz, man! And to think Beirn has a twin? *whoa* Kudos on one of the most unique and original stories I've read. Great job, Damon. Thank you:)
February 22, 2012
This prequel will ‘spoil’ some of the character discoveries of `Grown Men’ and I recommend that it be read second in this series. I avidly read early Sci-Fi pulp fiction in the ‘70’s and watched it develop into a highly respected genre. Suede can stand head high with the science fiction greats as his world crafting is second to none. Subtle turns of phrase in both books gives indelible strength to this alternate future; like David Brin��s `Earth’, you can almost touch the possibilities.
August 4, 2011
Damon,
This little sci-fi short was a helluva ride. I love what you did with that prompt, and I love the way you turned the tables on your mc...so smart and sassy.
Now for the shameless begging part.
Would you please write more in this world, with these characters?
Pretty please?
This little sci-fi short was a helluva ride. I love what you did with that prompt, and I love the way you turned the tables on your mc...so smart and sassy.
Now for the shameless begging part.
Would you please write more in this world, with these characters?
Pretty please?
November 9, 2012
Too freaking weird for poor little me. Sleazy main characters - I can't call them "heroes" - and shudder-inducing sex scenes. Good worldbuilding for such a short story, though.
April 16, 2013
Ridiculously funny. I wish it were longer. I also learned that I must have grown up in a box because there was so much new vocabulary that was eye opening.
September 27, 2011
I like Damon Suede as an author. Hot Head was my very first M/M book and it's still one of my favorites. I think the main reason that I couldn't enjoy this story was because of the photo itself. The photo is intensely creepy to me, and since I was picturing it the entire time I was reading the story, I couldn't get into the heat between the characters. I was a bit grossed out.
(more comments just added - upgrade review to 4 stars): As I thought about my review, I wanted to add some additional comments. I think that Damon's story was one of the tougher ones to write because his photo wasn't sweet and innocent and romantic. When I put it into perspective, I realize that Damon's job to turn this picture into a story was much harder than most of the other writers in this project. His story was fairly complex and his decision to write a sci-fi short is likely out of his comfort zone but he does an admirable job. I revised my original review from 3 to 4 stars based on the difficulty of the photo and Damon's overall creativity. But I still think the photo is gross.
Don't Read in the Closet is a collection of short stories published for free for members of the M/M Romance Group. The best part of this series of shorts is that they were based on a photo and a reader request for a story. Here is the photo and reader request that inspired this story (Warning contains M/M situation and graphic nudity):
I don't like this photo at all - it's super creepy
http://www.goodreads.com/topic/show/5...
(more comments just added - upgrade review to 4 stars): As I thought about my review, I wanted to add some additional comments. I think that Damon's story was one of the tougher ones to write because his photo wasn't sweet and innocent and romantic. When I put it into perspective, I realize that Damon's job to turn this picture into a story was much harder than most of the other writers in this project. His story was fairly complex and his decision to write a sci-fi short is likely out of his comfort zone but he does an admirable job. I revised my original review from 3 to 4 stars based on the difficulty of the photo and Damon's overall creativity. But I still think the photo is gross.
Don't Read in the Closet is a collection of short stories published for free for members of the M/M Romance Group. The best part of this series of shorts is that they were based on a photo and a reader request for a story. Here is the photo and reader request that inspired this story (Warning contains M/M situation and graphic nudity):
I don't like this photo at all - it's super creepy
http://www.goodreads.com/topic/show/5...
January 9, 2012
Edited Jan 2012
I am upping the rating to 4 stars because Damon did write a sequel. I did not realise that Ox out of grown men was the brother in this free story. Many people that now read Seedy business will love being able to jump straight into Grown Men :) The extra world building and backstory makes everything more enjoyable in my mind.
3.5 Stars
Great concept and ideas but it felt way to rushed. This story could easily be turned into a 30,000+ story because it has so many possibilities.
The characters were really interesting but we kind of made confusing jumps of logic because its only a short story.
Full points to Damon Suede for being bold and writing something so funny and unique. I hope that Damon either writes more about this couple/world OR re-writes this story into a full length piece.
I am upping the rating to 4 stars because Damon did write a sequel. I did not realise that Ox out of grown men was the brother in this free story. Many people that now read Seedy business will love being able to jump straight into Grown Men :) The extra world building and backstory makes everything more enjoyable in my mind.
Great concept and ideas but it felt way to rushed. This story could easily be turned into a 30,000+ story because it has so many possibilities.
The characters were really interesting but we kind of made confusing jumps of logic because its only a short story.
Full points to Damon Suede for being bold and writing something so funny and unique. I hope that Damon either writes more about this couple/world OR re-writes this story into a full length piece.
October 10, 2011
Very creative storytelling and characterization. In terms of the "I liked it" aspect of romance ratings, I'd probably give it more of a 3-3.5 because I did like the romance - just did not "really like" or "love" it. The unique world, the strong characters, and the inner torment of the not-so-nice-guy (and not-so-gay -- or so he thinks) narrator that the author fit into a ~40 page story, though, are mighty impressive.
This story is available for FREE as part of the M/M Romance group's "Don't Read in the Closet: GayRomLit Retreat 2011" anthology. Download it here.
This story is available for FREE as part of the M/M Romance group's "Don't Read in the Closet: GayRomLit Retreat 2011" anthology. Download it here.
December 29, 2015
Well this is quite the splooge-fest. But that title does warn. Full of gooey, dripping, semen-full oozing and distended gravy makers and priapismic urges.
And a mercenary twin who turned on his hulking brother and now regrets it. The twins are bioengineered behemoths in a world wanting to make capital off of their… endowments. Beirn (read ‘Bear’) and Ox (no translation needed) seem to be at odds with each other. The reader doesn’t really know why as yet. Of course this is the start of a series and all will presumably be explained as one reads on. But this one is full of bubbling, frothy fun.
Suede’s voice is singular, that’s for sure.
October 29, 2011
Prequel to Grown Men.
Normally I don't like sci-fi based stories, but this short story changed my mind. Funny, original and hot, this was a great read. I mean, a MC who deals in stolen semen? You have to check this out! Plus toss in Damon Suede's way with words and I cannot read to read Grown Men.
Normally I don't like sci-fi based stories, but this short story changed my mind. Funny, original and hot, this was a great read. I mean, a MC who deals in stolen semen? You have to check this out! Plus toss in Damon Suede's way with words and I cannot read to read Grown Men.
July 25, 2011
This story was insane! And I mean that in the best way possible! The story had great world building, and the entire thing was so creative! This was a very fun read, very unique and one that I will definitely remember from the HSD event.
November 22, 2011
read this in the goodreads mm giveaway...at first I was disturbed by it, but something about the story just kept coming back to me...it certainly stood out from the rest in the collection, and had something about it, even if I can't work out exactly what.
September 30, 2014
Could I give a story about Sperm Piracy anything less than 5 Stars? Never!
Great world-building with more than a touch of humour!
Great world-building with more than a touch of humour!
August 15, 2011
Okay...that was way outside the box. What can I say? Read it for yourself.
September 12, 2011
Wow! Fantastic introduction to this author's work. Great story, hot action, intriguing characters. Looking forward to more from Damon Suede.
September 30, 2011
This story was wild and crazy! What an enjoyable ride - I don't think anyone other than Damon Suede could have taken this premise and made it work, but he did.
January 29, 2012
Raunchy, funny, surprising, gross, smart, hot, silly, tight, clever, rich, imaginative, vulgar...
DELICIOUS.
DELICIOUS.
March 6, 2014
Great freebie which adds a lot to the Hard Cell story. All I can say is "MORE!"
January 24, 2019
“I’m not very good at being human, huh? I didn’t know I could be…” Beirn frowned and shrugged. “…good…at it, I mean.”
The concept behind this should seem so absurd - in a futuristic world, Beirn sold his brother to a 'sperm farm'. When it suddenly becomes more profitable to outright sell said brother's testicles, Beirn attempts to 'rescue' said brother from a life of being in a drugged induced come while he is fed and... milked... mechanically. Except Beirn's brother isn't there anymore, and has left some revenge for Beirn to find instead.
So this was Suede's version of filthy. I didn't know there so many words for jizz. But there are. Some of the imagery in this story is going to keep me up at night. Seriously. And there was a little romance-ish, although its hard to tell how it would go long term.
Suffice it to say, the story was hot and it got me intrigued in the world enough to look for the next book. So, it did what it was meant to do, yeah?
Read
June 2, 2023Free short story that is a prequel to Grown Men but should be read after. Uneven, with unlikeable characters who have sex and end up stuck with each other but no real romance. It is kinda essential to understanding the Ox character in Grown Men.
December 13, 2017
This was a bit hard to get into. But, it did get better. Crazy better
Displaying 1 - 30 of 70 reviews