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Tales of El #1
Iron Butterfly
Temple apprenticeship in an unfamiliar world, home to an unfamiliar race. Amid thorns of hatred and misunderstanding, can a human find true friendship and love among the rae'lir temple keepers?
M/M-sorta; read and see!
Status: Complete
Words: 139,849
M/M-sorta; read and see!
Status: Complete
Words: 139,849
419 pages, online fiction
First published September 11, 2010
About the author
mousegirl05
7 books9 followersMy warnings (the serious and not-so-serious):
(1) I am a sappy romantic so almost everything you find here will contain a measure if not a majority of sappy romance.
(2) I am not always very nice to my characters so you are liable to find touchy subjects, a lot of angst, pain, and a little suffering for flavor.
(3) That being said, I like all of my characters, so generally I give them what they want (even if they don't realize they want it right away). I will provide individualized warnings when my work strays from this.
(4) As I stated, I write mostly romance, and not all of that happens to be hetro. Some stories require the reader is unaware of which it is until the end so I will not include a blatant warning in each story that contains content that some find 'inappropriate'. Therefore, consider yourself warned here. In general though, it will be obvious.
(5) I am not the best when it comes to punctuation
Incidentally, the punctuation mistake on number (5) was unitentional, but funny, so I left it. o_
(1) I am a sappy romantic so almost everything you find here will contain a measure if not a majority of sappy romance.
(2) I am not always very nice to my characters so you are liable to find touchy subjects, a lot of angst, pain, and a little suffering for flavor.
(3) That being said, I like all of my characters, so generally I give them what they want (even if they don't realize they want it right away). I will provide individualized warnings when my work strays from this.
(4) As I stated, I write mostly romance, and not all of that happens to be hetro. Some stories require the reader is unaware of which it is until the end so I will not include a blatant warning in each story that contains content that some find 'inappropriate'. Therefore, consider yourself warned here. In general though, it will be obvious.
(5) I am not the best when it comes to punctuation
Incidentally, the punctuation mistake on number (5) was unitentional, but funny, so I left it. o_
Ratings & Reviews
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 31 reviews
November 18, 2013
I don't think I'll ever cease to be amazed by the quality of the free online-fiction that is available to any who bother to take a look. This story is yet another example of what I mean.
Ny, a young boy who doesn't yet realize he can never please his father, is sent to the Northern High Water Temple, in the Rae`lir city of El. Only 10 years old, he arrives at the temple to find he is the only human among those resident, and not all Rae`lir are happy to have him there. Knowing his father required him to eliminate all signs of weakness, he struggles to find his feet, not knowing that his determination and uncomplaining nature has won the respect of Gale, a fellow apprentice and the next King of the Rae`lir. A friendship soon blossoms between these two, yet their path of friendship is neither easy or smooth, and Ny in particular, pays a heavy price.
The story spans over 13 years of Ny's and Gale's lives. It follows their trials and tribulations, their despair and joy, and finally, their love. While most of the story moves effortlessly, there are perhaps a couple of spots where things are, perhaps, overly drawn out. The supporting characters are are pretty good on the whole, and the plot is better than many published novels. I really liked this story, and if you don't mind a few errors here and there, I'd definitely recommend it.
Ny, a young boy who doesn't yet realize he can never please his father, is sent to the Northern High Water Temple, in the Rae`lir city of El. Only 10 years old, he arrives at the temple to find he is the only human among those resident, and not all Rae`lir are happy to have him there. Knowing his father required him to eliminate all signs of weakness, he struggles to find his feet, not knowing that his determination and uncomplaining nature has won the respect of Gale, a fellow apprentice and the next King of the Rae`lir. A friendship soon blossoms between these two, yet their path of friendship is neither easy or smooth, and Ny in particular, pays a heavy price.
The story spans over 13 years of Ny's and Gale's lives. It follows their trials and tribulations, their despair and joy, and finally, their love. While most of the story moves effortlessly, there are perhaps a couple of spots where things are, perhaps, overly drawn out. The supporting characters are are pretty good on the whole, and the plot is better than many published novels. I really liked this story, and if you don't mind a few errors here and there, I'd definitely recommend it.
August 19, 2013
Rating: 2.5 rounded to 3 stars
I had mixed feelings about Iron Butterfly. I think the premise of the story was great: a human child, unloved by his father, is sent to another planet where he is to be disciplined at a temple. The human child meets a prince, and they fall in love while battling discrimination and some political turmoil. When the boys meet, they are 10 years old, and progresses over 13 years. There are elements of abuse that plays a significant role in Ny's (the human) upbringing in the temple and also MPreg.
However, the story was just too long. I found myself skimming the last 20% and reading about half the dialogue without really missing anything of importance. Also, the story itself was anticlimatic in its delivery. As for the characters, I can't really say I felt strongly for both protagonists, and will even go so far and say that I didn't really like Ny. Though, it was sweet to see his relationship with Gale grow and become something tangible over the years.
There were also inclusion of a lot of secondary characters, but the story always seemed to focus on the two MCs, which is a good thing. And one last gripe, which I tend to overlook for free online fiction, but was enough to give me a headache: there is so many proofreading mistakes (misspelled words, repeated words, missing words, incorrect words, and the lack of using the space bar between words)! My brain had to do autocorrect while reading, and it really distracted from the moment, especially when you are at a "heartbreaking" scene, yet the character dialogue doesn't make sense, or you have to reread it twice to get what's happening.
So overall? Kind of disappointing, but may be worth a shot if you can overlook the proof reading, blue aliens with black or silver hair, MPreg, and slightly strange PG sex (is that even possible? Apparently).
I had mixed feelings about Iron Butterfly. I think the premise of the story was great: a human child, unloved by his father, is sent to another planet where he is to be disciplined at a temple. The human child meets a prince, and they fall in love while battling discrimination and some political turmoil. When the boys meet, they are 10 years old, and progresses over 13 years. There are elements of abuse that plays a significant role in Ny's (the human) upbringing in the temple and also MPreg.
However, the story was just too long. I found myself skimming the last 20% and reading about half the dialogue without really missing anything of importance. Also, the story itself was anticlimatic in its delivery. As for the characters, I can't really say I felt strongly for both protagonists, and will even go so far and say that I didn't really like Ny. Though, it was sweet to see his relationship with Gale grow and become something tangible over the years.
There were also inclusion of a lot of secondary characters, but the story always seemed to focus on the two MCs, which is a good thing. And one last gripe, which I tend to overlook for free online fiction, but was enough to give me a headache: there is so many proofreading mistakes (misspelled words, repeated words, missing words, incorrect words, and the lack of using the space bar between words)! My brain had to do autocorrect while reading, and it really distracted from the moment, especially when you are at a "heartbreaking" scene, yet the character dialogue doesn't make sense, or you have to reread it twice to get what's happening.
So overall? Kind of disappointing, but may be worth a shot if you can overlook the proof reading, blue aliens with black or silver hair, MPreg, and slightly strange PG sex (is that even possible? Apparently).
July 19, 2017
This is a 2.5 read for me, the story is somewhat flat, but the characters are adorable in their own way. Rounding up to 3 stars because the book IS free and after thinking about it for a day and a half I have to admit I did enjoy reading it.
February 4, 2017
10 year old Ny (a human) is sent away by his abusive father to become an apprentice at the Northern High Water Temple on the planet El. His father thinks Ny is a failure for being to weak and pathetic and hopes this will toughen Ny up and turn him into a man. The planet El that had been at war with the human planet. Say hello to hatred, intolerance and abuse. Ny makes friends with a group of other apprentices one of whom is Gael, second to the throne. They become his saving grace.
This is a story about a teenage boy finding friendship and love while dealing with hatred and abuse and trying to prove himself worthy of his father.
This was just an awesome story. Ny just broke my heart and the things he deals with all due to intolerance made me shed some tears. He tried to be so strong to the point that I wanted to smack him for not sharing more with his friends especially Gael. The story spans about 7 or so years. I liked how Ny learns of his own strength and how it's not a sign of weakness to rely on others.
This is mpreg, but the pregnancy comes only at the end and is not the focus of the story.
This is a story about a teenage boy finding friendship and love while dealing with hatred and abuse and trying to prove himself worthy of his father.
This was just an awesome story. Ny just broke my heart and the things he deals with all due to intolerance made me shed some tears. He tried to be so strong to the point that I wanted to smack him for not sharing more with his friends especially Gael. The story spans about 7 or so years. I liked how Ny learns of his own strength and how it's not a sign of weakness to rely on others.
This is mpreg, but the pregnancy comes only at the end and is not the focus of the story.
June 8, 2014
This story was overwhelming. I started it last night, read it all day today (literally all day), and now have finished just before midnight.
This wonderful, saddening, angering, loving, beautiful story had so much in it. I think back to the beginning portion and almost forget that they are from the same story. The characters grow and change so much throughout the book. Since it spans about eighteen years, and begins when Ny is eight, and Gale is ten, a lot of this book is about the development of their relationship before they mature and begin their romance, the abuse Ny goes through, and the merging of two worlds for them and their group of friends. For the past few years, I have mostly read strictly romance, and without it gotten bored, but this story kept me intrigued from the first scene to the last; it was filled with the anticipation of when the abuse would be discovered and stopped, when Ny and Gale would realize their romance, what would happen next with the bigotry and hatred of many of the Nae`lire and the love and acceptance of others, when would the baby come :D, etc. Bottom line, there was never a dull moment in this story.
And I became so emotional, the happenings twisting up my insides and filling my mind with the beautiful and rich world-building. The development of the plot and characters was also so masterful, and I enjoyed this much more than I have most published books, and I want to know why this hasn't been published yet.
This is definitely on my "all time favorites" list, because it caught me up like so few books do, twisted me all around in pain, sympathy, love, and wonder, and I could not imagine a more perfect read for alien/mpreg/gay romance/bildungsroman. This was just what I wanted and needed from those sub-genres. Especially since the other alien and mpreg I've read have left me wanting during and after the reads. This one tore me up and put me back together wonderfully and meticulously, and I could not imagine anything in this story playing out any other way. And this also had good-quality writing (regardless of grammatical errors from lack of editing, which comes from being unpublished). Every second was so much fun to read.
I encourage everyone to read this book, right now. Go, please, get caught up in this adventure, and enjoy. I will definitely read the side stories and watch this author :)
This wonderful, saddening, angering, loving, beautiful story had so much in it. I think back to the beginning portion and almost forget that they are from the same story. The characters grow and change so much throughout the book. Since it spans about eighteen years, and begins when Ny is eight, and Gale is ten, a lot of this book is about the development of their relationship before they mature and begin their romance, the abuse Ny goes through, and the merging of two worlds for them and their group of friends. For the past few years, I have mostly read strictly romance, and without it gotten bored, but this story kept me intrigued from the first scene to the last; it was filled with the anticipation of when the abuse would be discovered and stopped, when Ny and Gale would realize their romance, what would happen next with the bigotry and hatred of many of the Nae`lire and the love and acceptance of others, when would the baby come :D, etc. Bottom line, there was never a dull moment in this story.
And I became so emotional, the happenings twisting up my insides and filling my mind with the beautiful and rich world-building. The development of the plot and characters was also so masterful, and I enjoyed this much more than I have most published books, and I want to know why this hasn't been published yet.
This is definitely on my "all time favorites" list, because it caught me up like so few books do, twisted me all around in pain, sympathy, love, and wonder, and I could not imagine a more perfect read for alien/mpreg/gay romance/bildungsroman. This was just what I wanted and needed from those sub-genres. Especially since the other alien and mpreg I've read have left me wanting during and after the reads. This one tore me up and put me back together wonderfully and meticulously, and I could not imagine anything in this story playing out any other way. And this also had good-quality writing (regardless of grammatical errors from lack of editing, which comes from being unpublished). Every second was so much fun to read.
I encourage everyone to read this book, right now. Go, please, get caught up in this adventure, and enjoy. I will definitely read the side stories and watch this author :)
November 5, 2012
I debated whether to give this a 2 star rating but it barely cleared 1.5 stars and there were just so many things I found wrong with it that I dropped it to 1 star.
I could not focus on the story... about halfway through, I was speed-reading, barely registering some of the things said, which might explain my general dislike of the book.
Perhaps I needed another mood to find the story more palatable. As it is, I was cheering at the end simply for having managed to read it till the end.
I could not focus on the story... about halfway through, I was speed-reading, barely registering some of the things said, which might explain my general dislike of the book.
Perhaps I needed another mood to find the story more palatable. As it is, I was cheering at the end simply for having managed to read it till the end.
January 17, 2014
Main Characters: Nylear Cathan & Prince Gale El’rae
Key Themes: Abuse, Non-Explicit, MPreg, H/C, Interspecies, Men with Children, Bonding, NonCon, GFY
Location: Planets Gartu & El
Love story featuring a human (Ny) and an El’rae prince (Gale). The El’rae are tall hermaphrodites with blue-tinted skin. They are monotremes who bond for life and can communicate telepathically.
The MCs meet on Gale’s soggy planet(it seems to rain all the time), known as El. Ny is sent to El, aged 10 years old, to apprentice at the same temple as the prince. The temple is essentially a boarding school for boys, and Ny is the only human there.
For reasons that become clear early on in the story, Ny is frustratingly submissive and lacking in self-esteem, but that did not make it less upsetting to witness Ny succumb to his abusers' lies. Fortunately, the abusers get their payback, and it’s as dramatic and satisfying as I had hoped!
This is a super sweet story with non-explicit sex and amazing world building.....and it's FREE
It definitely has issues – not least of which are the typos, the occasionally weird prose, the unresolved story lines, and the erratic characters who seem to fly into a rage at the drop of a hat.
Having said that, I definitely enjoyed reading it. Although completing it tried my patience at times.
Key Themes: Abuse, Non-Explicit, MPreg, H/C, Interspecies, Men with Children, Bonding, NonCon, GFY
Location: Planets Gartu & El
Love story featuring a human (Ny) and an El’rae prince (Gale). The El’rae are tall hermaphrodites with blue-tinted skin. They are monotremes who bond for life and can communicate telepathically.
The MCs meet on Gale’s soggy planet(it seems to rain all the time), known as El. Ny is sent to El, aged 10 years old, to apprentice at the same temple as the prince. The temple is essentially a boarding school for boys, and Ny is the only human there.
For reasons that become clear early on in the story, Ny is frustratingly submissive and lacking in self-esteem, but that did not make it less upsetting to witness Ny succumb to his abusers' lies. Fortunately, the abusers get their payback, and it’s as dramatic and satisfying as I had hoped!
This is a super sweet story with non-explicit sex and amazing world building.....and it's FREE
It definitely has issues – not least of which are the typos, the occasionally weird prose, the unresolved story lines, and the erratic characters who seem to fly into a rage at the drop of a hat.
Having said that, I definitely enjoyed reading it. Although completing it tried my patience at times.
December 31, 2021
3.5 stars
I didn't read every word in this, skimmed through parts of it since I was impatient, but I can say that I liked this one very much.
It's hurt-comfort with a sweet and heartbreaking romance set in a fantasy/sci-fi world that I would have loved to have seen explored further. Very likable characters and a serious plot that tackles discrimination and abuse of strangers in an alien world and thus delivers an ageless message.
There was a little exchange between one main character and his father that had me tearing up out of the blue. So this little story may have the potential to pull at your heartstrings hard.
Side note: the mpreg is not a main theme in this story and only occurs towards the end. And since this is sci-fi you don't have to fear the proverbial butt baby for once.
I didn't read every word in this, skimmed through parts of it since I was impatient, but I can say that I liked this one very much.
It's hurt-comfort with a sweet and heartbreaking romance set in a fantasy/sci-fi world that I would have loved to have seen explored further. Very likable characters and a serious plot that tackles discrimination and abuse of strangers in an alien world and thus delivers an ageless message.
There was a little exchange between one main character and his father that had me tearing up out of the blue. So this little story may have the potential to pull at your heartstrings hard.
Side note: the mpreg is not a main theme in this story and only occurs towards the end. And since this is sci-fi you don't have to fear the proverbial butt baby for once.
September 11, 2013
Pick it for Me challenge book September 2013
Just under 4 stars
This is a lovely space opera saga with added m-preg, some non con and a HEA. Ny, a human, is sent by his father to another planet to be an apprentice at a temple, on the grounds that it will toughen him up and stop him being a disgrace to the family. The planet El is inhabited by Rae’lir, a single sex species who are vaguely humanoid but evolved from amphibians… oh and they are blue… The High Water Temple is home to many apprentices and temple keepers, some of whom can accept Ny and others who look down on him as inferior or unclean. Ny finds friends, including Gale, the First Prince of El, but also enemies, such as the High Master who routinely abuses Ny from the outset. The story, and relationship between Ny and Gale develops very slowly – the time frame for the story is 13 years and for the first 60% of the book it does drag a bit, but then it picks up the place to a happy ending. There are some quirky side characters, particularly the royal family and Ny’s somewhat stroppy younger sister. This story is a free online story and does stand up to other published works.
Just under 4 stars
This is a lovely space opera saga with added m-preg, some non con and a HEA. Ny, a human, is sent by his father to another planet to be an apprentice at a temple, on the grounds that it will toughen him up and stop him being a disgrace to the family. The planet El is inhabited by Rae’lir, a single sex species who are vaguely humanoid but evolved from amphibians… oh and they are blue… The High Water Temple is home to many apprentices and temple keepers, some of whom can accept Ny and others who look down on him as inferior or unclean. Ny finds friends, including Gale, the First Prince of El, but also enemies, such as the High Master who routinely abuses Ny from the outset. The story, and relationship between Ny and Gale develops very slowly – the time frame for the story is 13 years and for the first 60% of the book it does drag a bit, but then it picks up the place to a happy ending. There are some quirky side characters, particularly the royal family and Ny’s somewhat stroppy younger sister. This story is a free online story and does stand up to other published works.
July 10, 2017
Typos and unnecessary torture of the main character aside, this was actually pretty sweet, especially towards the end.
Might be a little aimless and lack any sort of consistent plot, but I liked the setting and the characters, especially the group of friends at the temple.
My biggest critique, or rather what makes me a little sad, is that the potential of a society with only one gender was left entirely unexplored through simply dubbing all people 'male'.
Might be a little aimless and lack any sort of consistent plot, but I liked the setting and the characters, especially the group of friends at the temple.
My biggest critique, or rather what makes me a little sad, is that the potential of a society with only one gender was left entirely unexplored through simply dubbing all people 'male'.
March 5, 2015
This was pretty good. The world that was created was pretty easy to visualize which I liked. The only thing that bothered me was that I wasn't able to keep up with time. The MC quickly went from 10 to 20 or something like that without any real direction that he was that age. Wish it had a bit more clarity of time.
July 2, 2013
Yeah, that was just ... bad.
There is no subtlety or any particular umph in this story. Everything is fairly predictable and the reader isn't remotely encouraged to create their own opinion on events -- instead, we're told what to feel in regard to the events and the characters are so sadly transparent.
There is no subtlety or any particular umph in this story. Everything is fairly predictable and the reader isn't remotely encouraged to create their own opinion on events -- instead, we're told what to feel in regard to the events and the characters are so sadly transparent.
April 10, 2015
Wonderful story! This should be published!
April 16, 2015
Oh wow, I really liked this one, there is a tiny bit Of darkness, some hard times for Ny but overall it's a sweet loving story.
February 27, 2016
Sweet. Sweet sweetness. The story follows the characters from childhood to adulthood. Makes for a long, but full story.
Read
September 15, 2019YES
April 23, 2013
Okay, so, not exactly what I expected BUT still wonderful, regardless.
I didn't expect for this to have such a huge religious aspect as it did and how much of a part it would play--not that its anything close to what I think most people think of religion--and how it would effect the characters.
Interesting, interesting, interesting though! Very good, thoughtful writing and even better--FREE!
It's on freaking FictionPress and from the horrors of what I read on FanFiction as a child, I didn't have high hopes but my, my this book has exceeded them!
I cannot say that this is one of my favorites, or even book-boner-shelf worthy, but I am glad I read it! It was not a waste of time. I LOVED Leh'ar and Gale and Ja'le and Garen and Stel and Ny and Gartol and Parthol and it was wonderful to see them grow up together, to see the couplings flourish and how things changed.
Four stars!
I didn't expect for this to have such a huge religious aspect as it did and how much of a part it would play--not that its anything close to what I think most people think of religion--and how it would effect the characters.
Interesting, interesting, interesting though! Very good, thoughtful writing and even better--FREE!
It's on freaking FictionPress and from the horrors of what I read on FanFiction as a child, I didn't have high hopes but my, my this book has exceeded them!
I cannot say that this is one of my favorites, or even book-boner-shelf worthy, but I am glad I read it! It was not a waste of time. I LOVED Leh'ar and Gale and Ja'le and Garen and Stel and Ny and Gartol and Parthol and it was wonderful to see them grow up together, to see the couplings flourish and how things changed.
Four stars!
August 23, 2012
Wow. I really enjoyed this. The very beginning hit me with quite a few unusual names/titles/concepts since this was a pure fantasy, even though it involved humans. I really enjoyed learning about the rae'lir though and the culture was absolutely fascinating. The violent scenes and the intimate scenes were strangely... vague, but still enough that the reader really got the impact from each moment they should. The story needs a good editing, but the problems were minor mistakes. I'd have been more irked if I'd purchased the story, but for a free read this was AMAZING. I loved it.
June 17, 2014
This book is free and utterly awesome.
It is one of the best mpreg books I have had the pleasure of reading. I have a slight kink for mpreg stories. In fact I have read nearly 50 in the listopia 'mpreg list' So when I say this is one of the best I really really realllllllly mean it.
Because its free the author took the time to develop the characters over a 13-15 year period. We saw heartbreaking moments as they grew up as children and then saw them as stronger adults blossoming into a great ending.
I HIGHLY recommend this book
It is one of the best mpreg books I have had the pleasure of reading. I have a slight kink for mpreg stories. In fact I have read nearly 50 in the listopia 'mpreg list' So when I say this is one of the best I really really realllllllly mean it.
Because its free the author took the time to develop the characters over a 13-15 year period. We saw heartbreaking moments as they grew up as children and then saw them as stronger adults blossoming into a great ending.
I HIGHLY recommend this book
September 21, 2016
I loved the concept and the whole world-building by the author. However, I think maybe there should be a disclaimer about certain themes within the story that could be triggering.
However, other than the above mentioned things, I loved the story! I'm a sucker for a well-done mpreg novel, and this relationship, built over years, was beautifully done.
However, other than the above mentioned things, I loved the story! I'm a sucker for a well-done mpreg novel, and this relationship, built over years, was beautifully done.
December 16, 2013
In a word. Beautiful.
The writing was clear and concise, the prose were fantastic, and the imagination was phenomenal. Over any online books I've read, this one deserves to be published. The characters and even the sci fi elements were more believable and realistic than a lot of others I've come across, and they portrayed a huge depth of character. It was a beautiful tale of self discover that was poignant and heartbreakingly lovely. A rare find.
The writing was clear and concise, the prose were fantastic, and the imagination was phenomenal. Over any online books I've read, this one deserves to be published. The characters and even the sci fi elements were more believable and realistic than a lot of others I've come across, and they portrayed a huge depth of character. It was a beautiful tale of self discover that was poignant and heartbreakingly lovely. A rare find.
March 18, 2015
I really liked it. I stayed up until 6am reading it. Its a love story and the world it takes place in is original and fascinating.
My only complaint is that the sex was a little too vague, as far as anatomy goes not passion, and it took forever to get there, but otherwise is was excellent, very well written.
My only complaint is that the sex was a little too vague, as far as anatomy goes not passion, and it took forever to get there, but otherwise is was excellent, very well written.
October 2, 2012
The first half did drag for a bit, but it still held my interest , The second half of this blew my mind away.. The physical and verbal/emotional abuse that Ny suffered at the hands of the Temple master was disturbing...
November 29, 2013
This story was sweet and engaging, if a little predictable at times and a little rough around the edges (grammar/spelling-wise). I really liked how well the world and characters came to life from the descriptions and dialogues.
January 18, 2015
sci-fi kind of... it's alright.
February 1, 2013
Realistic, interesting, sad and with a lovely HEA.
June 23, 2022
This book is definitely one of my favorite online reads. It's a great read with an interesting universe ,emotional depth and great characters. Iv read this book like 6 times if not more.
June 22, 2015
That was really interesting story plot.
March 16, 2012
I liked the second half of this story alot.
August 11, 2013
3. because people get away with insulting the royal family! how funny is that???
Displaying 1 - 30 of 31 reviews