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323 pages, Paperback
First published May 1, 2011
Well, shit, son. If there was a moment that determined the course of my future, I'm pretty sure this was it.
I know, I know. A motorbike. I've heard it all : It's dangerous, I'll die, I'll look like a douchebag.
Most lustful meth addicts don't have high quality digital cameras.
At least mine were flirtatious; he probably just had smoke in his eyes.
The show wasn't. It was like Lamb Chop's Play-Along on acid but without the endearing weirdness of acid.
"The truth scares you."
He leaned in closer across the table and this time grabbed my forearm.
"You scare me, Perry," he growled. "You."
He had such a lovely smile when he was using it for good and not evil.
"I just want you to enjoy the pies in life, Perry."
Expect the unexpected...
“We need you to be scared.”
“Why do I have to be? How come you aren’t afraid?”
“Because I find life to be scarier than death,” he replied matter-of-factly."
“Somehow, by dealing with the dead, I had never felt so alive.”
“Why? Because you called me up and was all like ‘Oh, hello there, little girl, do you like scary movies?’” I imitated his growly voice and talked into my hand. “‘I was hoping we could make a scary movie together; maybe then I could make some money off of ya. Hope you like to read history books at gunpoint.’”
“Because sometimes I lie, Perry. We all lie, even you, but not everyone is brave enough to admit it.”
Here is what I found about Dex Foray:
Activities: Music, filmmaking, video games, making up stuff on Wikipedia, booze, more stuff
Favorite Music: Metal, rock, alternative, and everything that’s missing from pop culture
TV Shows: BBC
Movies: Stuff YOU probably don’t like
Books: Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. Catch-22...all the stereotypes
He didn’t have a college listed under his education but he did have his high school: Bainbridge High School ‘96
Quick calculations in my head placed him at thirty-two, ten years older than I.
“I hate bullshitters; you can never bullshit them.”
“OK?”
“That’s the spirit! Now we are cooking with gas!”
“You’re not drunk right now, are you?”
“You’re not having anything?” He pointed at me with the fork.
“I don’t like pie,” I said feebly. That wasn’t true, but I don’t know why I lied.
“You don’t like pie? What kind of person doesn’t like pie?” He laughed. He reached forward and actually poked me in the arm with the fork. Lightly, but still. “You can’t be trusted.”
I instinctively batted the fork away from me. “You’re the one with the fork.”
He opened up my hand and placed the fork in it. “Now you have the fork.”
He sat back in his chair, looked down at his writing and thoughtfully scratched his sideburns. And just like that, it was—
“I just want you to enjoy the pies in life, Perry,” he shot in. “That’s all.”
“I enjoy...pies,” I managed to say. I wasn’t about to charm him with my wit, that’s for sure.
“Pies are a metaphor,” he said quickly. He exhaled.
“We should probably have a safety word too,” he said.
“A safety word? Like in S&M?”
His eyes flashed, animated and bright. “The safety word is ‘Jell-O’.”
God help me if I ever had to say “Jell-O” for any reason.
“You’d think,” he joked, “but she just nags me to go to the gym. Have you ever been to a gym? It’s the gayest shit ever. I went for the first six months of us dating until I got tired of paying someone to torture me.”
"You'll find out. It's not over yet. You're just discovering. You're just starting."
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Perry-- “How come you aren’t afraid?”
Dex-- “Because I find life to be scarier than death,” he replied matter-of-factly."
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“Somehow, by dealing with the dead, I had never felt so alive.”
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“Because sometimes I lie, Perry. We all lie, even you, but not everyone is brave enough to admit it.”
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I narrowed my eyes at him. "Were you staring at my ass?"
"Yes," he replied without hesitation.
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