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Lost In Place: Growing Up Absurd in Suburbia
From the author of Iron & Silk comes a charming and frequently uproarious account of an American adolescence in the age of Bruce Lee, Ozzy Osborne, and Kung Fu. As Salzman recalls coming of age with one foot in Connecticut and the other in China (he wanted to become a wandering Zen monk), he tells the story of a teenager trying to attain enlightenment before he's learned to drive.
286 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 1995
About the author
Mark Salzman
29 books222 followersMark Salzman is an award-winning novelist and nonfiction author who has written on a variety of subjects, from a graceful novel about a Carmelite nun’s ecstatic visions and crisis of faith to a compelling memoir about growing up a misfit in a Connecticut suburb – clearly displaying a range that transcends genre. As a boy, all Salzman ever wanted was to be a Kung Fu master, but it was his proficiency on the cello that facilitated his acceptance to Yale at the age of 16. He soon changed his major to Chinese language and philosophy, which took him to mainland China where he taught English for two years and studied martial arts. He never gave up music, though, and Salzman’s cello playing appears on the soundtrack to several films, including the Academy Award-winning documentary Breathing Lessons: The Life and Work of Mark O’Brien. He has also played with Yo-Yo Ma and pianist Emanuel Ax at Lincoln Center. Salzman’s unusual combination of talents – as both a well-known author and a concert-proficient cellist – led to a feature profile about him in The New Yorker magazine. He was also recently presented with the Algonquin West Hollywood Literary Award.
A number of Mark Salzman’s books have been chosen for “book in common” reading programs by more than a few schools and universities for their elegance, humor, and portrayal of our shared humanity. His first memoir, Iron and Silk, inspired by his years in China, was a finalist for the Pulitzer Prize in nonfiction and received the Christopher Award. His book True Notebooks is a fascinating look at his experiences as a writing teacher at Los Angeles Central Juvenile Hall, a lockup for violent teenage offenders. Salzman is also the author of the memoir Lost in Place: Growing Up Absurd in Suburbia, and the novels The Laughing Sutra, The Soloist, and Lying Awake. Common to each of his works is a theme of how people struggle to reach an ideal but often fall short, and the quiet change that takes place in facing the discouragement and the possibility of never achieving their goal. Salzman writes with gut-wrenching honesty and unalloyed warmth, combined with a sharp sense of humor.
A number of Mark Salzman’s books have been chosen for “book in common” reading programs by more than a few schools and universities for their elegance, humor, and portrayal of our shared humanity. His first memoir, Iron and Silk, inspired by his years in China, was a finalist for the Pulitzer Prize in nonfiction and received the Christopher Award. His book True Notebooks is a fascinating look at his experiences as a writing teacher at Los Angeles Central Juvenile Hall, a lockup for violent teenage offenders. Salzman is also the author of the memoir Lost in Place: Growing Up Absurd in Suburbia, and the novels The Laughing Sutra, The Soloist, and Lying Awake. Common to each of his works is a theme of how people struggle to reach an ideal but often fall short, and the quiet change that takes place in facing the discouragement and the possibility of never achieving their goal. Salzman writes with gut-wrenching honesty and unalloyed warmth, combined with a sharp sense of humor.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 113 reviews
October 10, 2017
I have enjoyed every Salzman title I have read so far, and this one is no exception. We are treated to a sometimes hilarious, sometimes painful glimpse into the author's youth; full of the usual issues which swirl around humans as they (hopefully) learn to become who they are supposed to be in life.
Remember the overbearing sensei in the movie The Karate Kid? Salzman studied kung-fu for three years with a man who makes that character look like an angel. I could not believe the brutality of this teacher, so totally contrary to any martial arts instruction and philosophy I have ever read about.
I loved Salzman's parents. They were a strong presence throughout the book, and I thought the final conversation between Mark and his father was perfect: full of 'why is life this way' questions on one side, but with a single patient word on the other. The impact on both Mark and the reader is much stronger than any other type of response would have been.
And now I am off to read my final Salzman title, The Man in the Empty Boat. Since I have gotten to know him fairly well in this volume, I am looking forward to spending more time with him years later when he is married with children and a farting dog. Will he be as entertaining and connected as he was in this book? I will let you know in a few days!
Remember the overbearing sensei in the movie The Karate Kid? Salzman studied kung-fu for three years with a man who makes that character look like an angel. I could not believe the brutality of this teacher, so totally contrary to any martial arts instruction and philosophy I have ever read about.
I loved Salzman's parents. They were a strong presence throughout the book, and I thought the final conversation between Mark and his father was perfect: full of 'why is life this way' questions on one side, but with a single patient word on the other. The impact on both Mark and the reader is much stronger than any other type of response would have been.
And now I am off to read my final Salzman title, The Man in the Empty Boat. Since I have gotten to know him fairly well in this volume, I am looking forward to spending more time with him years later when he is married with children and a farting dog. Will he be as entertaining and connected as he was in this book? I will let you know in a few days!
April 26, 2015
Mixed bag, here. Mark Salzman tells the story of his early teen to college age years. He was a most peculiar character. And his friends and teachers were so unique, so sublimely weird--his Kung Fu master, his best friend who used to beat him up, and especially his dad--they made a story themselves. His dad is a hoot.
I get the impression that with the notable exception of a Chinese Studies professor, Mr. Salzman's relationships with women were uniquely flat. His mother was a concert celloist yet we know nothing about her. She's just there, like a plate on which you pile a slab of roast beef and onions. Who cares about the plate? It's just a flat thing to pile yourself onto.
I'm not being a sexist pig about this. His two girl friends are also, just "his girlfriends". He spends hours and hours hanging out with them and yet we don't know anything about them. I just didn't get it.
So...I guess you get the idea. If you're a guy who grew up in the era, you might enjoy it a lot.
I get the impression that with the notable exception of a Chinese Studies professor, Mr. Salzman's relationships with women were uniquely flat. His mother was a concert celloist yet we know nothing about her. She's just there, like a plate on which you pile a slab of roast beef and onions. Who cares about the plate? It's just a flat thing to pile yourself onto.
I'm not being a sexist pig about this. His two girl friends are also, just "his girlfriends". He spends hours and hours hanging out with them and yet we don't know anything about them. I just didn't get it.
So...I guess you get the idea. If you're a guy who grew up in the era, you might enjoy it a lot.
June 22, 2018
Biographies in our society are usually reserved for the famous, the infamous, and the dead associated with the famous or infamous. To get to the real meat of what a biography should be, one must turn to the autobiography shelf. Although this area is also filled with the lives of the well-known, there also reside some gems that sparkle with an inner-fire of their own. These are the stories of lives which are unique in themselves, not for what they did on the sports court or the silver screen.
Although Mark Salzman has starred in a movie, I somehow doubt that his is a household name. The movie was Iron & Silk, based on his book of the same title. Both book and movie are wonderfully simple yet with deep meaning, telling the story of Salzman’s life spent teaching English in China. Salzman has a real gift for taking himself out of the picture, so it seems that you are the subject of the autobiography. At the same time, he remains interesting as a subject. It was this strange mixture of self-depreciation and self-congratulation that endeared Salzman’s story to many readers, including myself.
The two books that Salzman followed his debut with were both novels, one a fantasy about how the Chinese would and do see America (The Laughing Sutra), the other about playing the cello (The Soloist). Both were good, but neither had the same strange dichotomy of his first. Mark Salzman’s latest book, Lost in Place, returns to the autobiographical, and also returns to the strange brew that made Iron & Silk so appealing.
Subtitled Growing Up Absurd in Suburbia, Lost in Place chronicles Salzman’s life before he went to teach in China. In some ways it is a fairly mundane tale of coming of age in the 1960s. Yet Salzman as a subject is never mundane; from attempting to become a Zen monk at age 12, through the wonder and terror of high school and sadistic karate instruction, Salzman reveals that what might seem mundane on the surface actually teems with absurdity, wit, and…well, life. Instead of a simple listing of happenings which served him well in Iron & Silk, Salzman has added the strength of the novel to his autobiography. Everything that made his writing style so interesting remains–now, though, it has a structure, including a world-shattering climax. (Well, world-shattering for the protagonist–with meaning for the reader.)
The book is fascinating, especially for readers of Salzman’s previous books. We discover where his love of Chinese culture came from, and how he ended up studying classical Mandarin. We see the study of the cello in his own life, including has brief attempt at jazz cello and the interpretation of classical Indian music. But most of all, we see ourselves in Mark Salzman. We see the insecurities of a teenager in love and sex, ambition and depression, hedonism and the straight-and-narrow. While the specifics may not match our own lives, we can recall the same feelings of wanting so much, when life seemed like it was an endless chore, and also those epiphanies when we realize how much we resemble our parents, how much our parents resemble us, and how much we resemble each other.
In Iron & Silk, Mark Salzman used his time in China to reflect on what it meant to be an American. In Lost in Place, he goes one better–here he shows us what it means to be human. That is what true autobiography is about.
Although Mark Salzman has starred in a movie, I somehow doubt that his is a household name. The movie was Iron & Silk, based on his book of the same title. Both book and movie are wonderfully simple yet with deep meaning, telling the story of Salzman’s life spent teaching English in China. Salzman has a real gift for taking himself out of the picture, so it seems that you are the subject of the autobiography. At the same time, he remains interesting as a subject. It was this strange mixture of self-depreciation and self-congratulation that endeared Salzman’s story to many readers, including myself.
The two books that Salzman followed his debut with were both novels, one a fantasy about how the Chinese would and do see America (The Laughing Sutra), the other about playing the cello (The Soloist). Both were good, but neither had the same strange dichotomy of his first. Mark Salzman’s latest book, Lost in Place, returns to the autobiographical, and also returns to the strange brew that made Iron & Silk so appealing.
Subtitled Growing Up Absurd in Suburbia, Lost in Place chronicles Salzman’s life before he went to teach in China. In some ways it is a fairly mundane tale of coming of age in the 1960s. Yet Salzman as a subject is never mundane; from attempting to become a Zen monk at age 12, through the wonder and terror of high school and sadistic karate instruction, Salzman reveals that what might seem mundane on the surface actually teems with absurdity, wit, and…well, life. Instead of a simple listing of happenings which served him well in Iron & Silk, Salzman has added the strength of the novel to his autobiography. Everything that made his writing style so interesting remains–now, though, it has a structure, including a world-shattering climax. (Well, world-shattering for the protagonist–with meaning for the reader.)
The book is fascinating, especially for readers of Salzman’s previous books. We discover where his love of Chinese culture came from, and how he ended up studying classical Mandarin. We see the study of the cello in his own life, including has brief attempt at jazz cello and the interpretation of classical Indian music. But most of all, we see ourselves in Mark Salzman. We see the insecurities of a teenager in love and sex, ambition and depression, hedonism and the straight-and-narrow. While the specifics may not match our own lives, we can recall the same feelings of wanting so much, when life seemed like it was an endless chore, and also those epiphanies when we realize how much we resemble our parents, how much our parents resemble us, and how much we resemble each other.
In Iron & Silk, Mark Salzman used his time in China to reflect on what it meant to be an American. In Lost in Place, he goes one better–here he shows us what it means to be human. That is what true autobiography is about.
July 2, 2008
One thing going on in this delightful coming-of-age memoir is Salzman’s coming to terms with the idea that attaining enlightenment is one thing and life is something else. Americans have a hard time with this, because we are preoccupied with becoming more than we can be. (Perhaps this is because advertisements continually sell us the idea that our lives will be so much more wonderful if we just do whatever it is we’re being urged to do.) And so Salzman presents us with his younger self, a kid determined to emulate Cain, from the 1970s "Kung Fu" television series, while in the background his amusingly gloomy father (a distinctly Buddha-like soul, come to think of it) passively encourages him to think for himself.
Also significant is the fact that this memoir is perhaps the best I’ve seen at interweaving the viewpoints of the adolescent growing up in suburbia and the adult who is now telling the story. We see how overawed the boy is by his kung fu instructor, for example, and yet the way the guy is described he’s clearly a nut -- and a perfect example of why the Chinese didn’t want Westerners to learn their martial arts. A coherent understanding of what was going on in his life was probably not available to the 14-year-old in the story. But since then Salzman has worked through it with much thought, and the result is very impressive.
Also significant is the fact that this memoir is perhaps the best I’ve seen at interweaving the viewpoints of the adolescent growing up in suburbia and the adult who is now telling the story. We see how overawed the boy is by his kung fu instructor, for example, and yet the way the guy is described he’s clearly a nut -- and a perfect example of why the Chinese didn’t want Westerners to learn their martial arts. A coherent understanding of what was going on in his life was probably not available to the 14-year-old in the story. But since then Salzman has worked through it with much thought, and the result is very impressive.
January 12, 2009
Salzman is a favorite author, and while there were parts of this I enjoyed enorumously, there were parts that I kind of felt my eyes glazing over and my brain numbing. But that may be what happens when you read about someone else's adolescence! However, the singlemindedness that Salzman has when starting a new love, be it kung fu or becoming an astronaut, is wonderful to read about.
However, there were two things that really cracked me up.
The dedication:
(Note to say that the parts I enjoyed the most had to do with SAlzman the elder and his philosophy/approach to life.)
Also a chuckle from the disclaimer:
However, there were two things that really cracked me up.
The dedication:
For Joseph Arthur Salzman, artist, astronomer, social worker, beloved father and good-natured pessimist, whose reaction to this book was to say that he enjoyed it, but felt that my portrayal of him was inaccurate. I put him, he complained, in an excessively positive light.
(Note to say that the parts I enjoyed the most had to do with SAlzman the elder and his philosophy/approach to life.)
Also a chuckle from the disclaimer:
Although this is a work of nonfiction and represents the whole, unsullied, objective truth, I am advised of the slim chance that some of the people described in this book might remember things differently. To accomodate that absurd possibility, all of the names except for those of my immediate family have been changed.
October 16, 2009
An incredibly entertaining coming-of-age memoir with quite a few insightful tidbits. My only disappointment was wanting to read more about "growing up absurd in suburbia" (the book's subtitle) -- in other words, how others reacted to his weirdness and how he dealt with it -- as opposed to just the "growing up" story itself. Overall, a very enjoyable quick read that even gave me a little bit to chew on afterward.
January 12, 2011
It's a coming of age memoir that takes our nebbishy hero to the brink and back via kung fu! in Connecticut! The author's morose hobbyist astronomer father is memorable. It's all pretty likable, although his "synthetic pessimism" philosophy didn't leave me feeling especially enlighted at the end. Probably the author's point.
September 16, 2007
Nicely written memoir about Salzman's odd and goofy childhood. The characters ring true, and the absurdities made me smile. Worthwhile, though not as riveting as his True Notebooks.
July 7, 2018
The spectacular autobiography, “Lost in Place: Growing Up Absurd in Suburbia”, written by Mark Salzman, is about how Mark’s life journey from a little boy absorbed in Kung-Fu into a mature, educated Yale graduate. Mark’s story starts off with how he developed a deep interest in becoming a Zen monk, a practitioner of the Chinese Kung-Fu Martial Arts techniques. Mark’s obsession was so extreme that he even donned a swimming cap and painted robes to make himself look like a Zen monk. One day, Mark’s mother decided to send him off to the Chinese Martial Arts Academy to “really learn Kung-Fu”, and Mark’s life changed… forever…
Overall, the book was fantabulous; the author used thrilling, suspenseful scenes to engross the reader in the story’s plot. The author’s exceptional word choice included a myriad of martial arts terms, making the book an interesting read. The only issue with this book is that it does use a lot of inappropriate language unnecessarily that could have been avoided; anyhow, I’d recommend this book to martial arts and Bruce Lee fans so that they get a glimpse into the life of an American Zen monk!
Overall, the book was fantabulous; the author used thrilling, suspenseful scenes to engross the reader in the story’s plot. The author’s exceptional word choice included a myriad of martial arts terms, making the book an interesting read. The only issue with this book is that it does use a lot of inappropriate language unnecessarily that could have been avoided; anyhow, I’d recommend this book to martial arts and Bruce Lee fans so that they get a glimpse into the life of an American Zen monk!
December 4, 2017
I liked it enough to finish it, and there are excerpts that I might recommend, but, overall, I think this suffered from the lack of a more engaging narrator - so it depended on content to make it enjoyable or not. Sometimes the content was interesting. Other times not so much. I also thought it veered rather strongly into privileged white male speak towards the end of the book, which was a big turnoff for me. I thought the dad was the best part, and I would have loved to get more of him and his stories/advice/perspective.
July 7, 2018
I very much enjoyed this book. It was a relatively light and easy read considering the depth of the questions involved. Generally, it was the story of Salman's life as he hopped from obsession to obsession–kung Fu, meditation, Chinese philosophy, painting, cello, marajuana, the meaning of life.
I picked it up randomly from a used bookstore, was drawn to the subtitle and the summary on the back, and am now definitely curious about the other books he has written.
I picked it up randomly from a used bookstore, was drawn to the subtitle and the summary on the back, and am now definitely curious about the other books he has written.
February 3, 2023
somehow i only realized this was a biography until halfway through the book. it’s full of worthy lessons that i, as a teenager would have never have the balls to learn. i wish there was more emphasis on his academics just because i feel there is some blur in the later years of how dedicated he truly is to learning. bill was by far my favourite character, he’s so sweet and caring for the boys. one of the most entertaining biographies i’ve read!
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
September 27, 2017
I so enjoy Mark Salzman (along with my newest discovery, Michael Chabon). They both speak to my own time frame, I guess. It was so interesting seeing his teenage years. Illuminates the strands that make up his stories. Ever since The Laughing Sutra I've been a big fan.
January 7, 2019
I really enjoyed this novel. I identified with the author, a lot, which made it funs at times, and mildly embarrassing at others. The writing is great - life's big questions being asked by a teen, yet written down by an adult.
May 3, 2020
Might be good for teen boys, but lost of language. Saltzman is searching for himself in martial arts and other eastern pursuits, and concludes that we must search for knowledge even though there really is none.
January 10, 2023
An entertaining memoir that is subtitled “growing up absurd in Suburbia” How does a boy in Connecticut become a Chinese language scholar? A series of chance encounters and passionate teachers and an unusual student all play a part. Well written and sweet in all the right ways.
September 4, 2017
I loved watching Salzman recount the childhood and the mind he has that has made him such a great writer. I also appreciated seeing where the themes of his work came from.
December 23, 2018
Occasionally I laughed out loud at this memoir of a boyhood in Connecticut. There were stretches I found much less interesting, particularly the adolescent drug use and the obsession with Kung Fu.
January 3, 2019
One of my favorite books ever. Just a really funny memoir with some poignant moments.
June 18, 2019
Ridgefield author
June 26, 2020
Fast and light but quite beautiful. Easy to pick up, easy to read, a vivid reminder of growing up in the 70s. It's also clear that Mark isn't quite the schlub that he presents himself as...
June 29, 2020
The story line is great--- the language--- in places, really intense, in a bad kind of way!
February 1, 2021
Screamingly funny! I just loved it. The author was so self-deprecating that I had to wonder what his contemporaries thought of him.
April 3, 2023
Fun, but a little trifling.
June 3, 2023
Touching coming of age story with the best comic relief! I was audibly laughing while reading this gem of a book and I will definitely read it again!!
June 28, 2023
Warm, funny, insightful coming-of-age memoir of a Kung Fu nerd. I loved it.
March 21, 2024
A great memoir. Funny and infuriating all the same.
August 4, 2020
I'm not entirely sure how this ended up on a list of 1,000 books to read before you die, but that's not to say that it wasn't enjoyable and even, to an extent, rather profound. I did find myself laughing aloud multiple times, especially in the first half. And as a mother of a male child, I am grateful for the insight it provided into the teenage boy mind.
August 2, 2020
A wonderful memoir of growing up. Salzman's descriptions of his father, friend Michael, Sensei O'Keefe are delightful. I laughed aloud at his first marijuana experience.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 113 reviews