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351 pages, Kindle Edition
First published May 19, 2013
"Your body can survive in amazing situations; you just have to convince your mind to do what you tell it to do."
What. A. Story.
Surviving Raine was an amazing, heartfelt, emotional, gripping and unforgettable story that simply blew me away. For the day and a half it took me to read this book, it completely consumed my thoughts. And even now, after having finished it, I often still think about it. Yes, that's just how good this book was.
Surviving Raine is a story about two people having to survive together on a tiny life raft after their ship has capsized. They have to suffer through all the harsh conditions that come with surviving a shipwreck: starvation, dehydration, infections... but the toughest aspect to survive might not be the physical conditions, but the emotional journey both survivors have to go through.
Sebastian Stark --
Sebastian {Bastian} Stark is the captain of The Oblivion, a ship that sails it's passengers on their vacation throughout the Caribbean Seas.
Bastian is rude, crude, crass and the perfect epitome of badass.
He's not a people's person, not at all. He much prefers the company of a pack of cigarettes, a bottle of vodka and a whore every now and then.
He's used to caring about no one but himself, but when his ship capsizes and he is stuck on a life raft with one of his female passengers, his sense of responsibility kicks in and he becomes quickly aware that from now on his safety isn't the only one he needs to care about anymore.
"For once, it wasn't just me I needed to look after. There was the annoying, questioning, tiny little piece of seriously feminine, soft, brown-eyed, doesn't-take-my-shit, fucking beautiful young woman who didn't stand a chance on her own that I needed to protect."
At first, Bastian and Raine don't get along very well. They argue, a lot. Bastian suffers from alcohol withdrawal and since there's no else to take it out on, Raine is often the victim of one of his outrages outbursts...
"Well, is there something I can do to help with that?" she asked, "or are you just going to yell at me all the time?"
That was it. I couldn't hold my temper back any longer.
"Yeah, there is something you can do," I said coldly, turning my glare at her. "Come here and blow me. That would probably ease a bit of my tension - especially if you swallow."
Yeah, I know. I couldn't believe I said it either."
Well, at least, Bastian knew what an ass he could be at times and I have to admit, despite him being mean and cruel in the beginning, after a while he grew on me. I liked his direct approach of things and the fact that, despite his hard exterior, deep down he's actually a nice person with a big hart; he just doesn't know how to show it.
And then there's sweet, innocent Raine Gayle...
She's pretty much the complete opposite of Bastian; she's caring, compassionate and just downright a good person. Everything Bastian is not.
Still, she finds herself drawn to him and when both of them start opening up about their past, they start to grow closer to each other.
And you know, two people spending days alone with each other, thinking that they might never make it out of their messed up situation alive, that's bound to create some sexual tension. (and trust me, there were some serious HOT and sexy scenes between the two of them!).
"I could do it, you know," I heard myself say. My voice had dropped low, but I knew she still heard me. I leaned over only a little, bringing my mouth closer to her ear. "I could make you come without touching you."
But despite the fact that they start to grow more comfortable around each other, Bastian finds it hard to let himself be vulnerable around Raine. His past makes it hard for him to trust anyone other than himself and he's afraid that if he opens himself up to her, he'll never be able to survive Raine if he ever were to lose her...
"Please stop shutting me out."
...
"I never let you in, baby."
"I want to, Raine," I said quietly. "I want to let you in. I just don't know if I can."
Shay Savage has written a unique, captivating and intriguing story that will stay with me for a very long time and that I would highly recommend everyone to read. Surviving Raine is the first story I've read by her and I already know it won't be my last!
**ARC kindly provided by the author and happily received in exchange for an honest review**
“How the fuck was I going to survive with this annoying, smoking hot bitch that I simultaneously wanted to fuck and kill?”
“I’ve seen you, Bastian. I’ve seen you. Not who you pretend to be, not who you try to hide behind... I’ve seen the real you. Please, Bastian. Don’t hide him from me anymore.”
“I could do it you know...I could make you come without even touching you.”
“I don’t know how else to be. If I could be... something.... someone else... for you, I’d do it.” “I know you would.”
- giving you free lessons on how to survive on a lifeboat and keeping you alive with his resourcefulness
- protecting you from any kind of danger with his deadly fighting skills
- helping you maintain your feminine hygiene (including but not limited to )
- fulfilling your (and his) other needs by indulging you in titillating sweat inducing activities???
✓ Soft and hard
✓ Troubled and tortured
✓ Foul mouthed but fluent at Shakespeare
✓ Caveman possessive but endearing instead of overbearing
✓ Bad tempered but sweet and gentle when in love
“Throw her overboard or stick my tongue down her throat? I could decide and it fucking ticked me off.”
“Please stop shutting me out.”
“I never let you in, baby.”
“I want to let you in, I just don’t know if I can.”
“Survival 101… You can live three minutes without air, three hours without shelter, three days without water, and three weeks without food. It’s not exact, obviously, but it tells you where to put your priorities.”
“I love your arms,” she said, almost too quietly for me to hear. Her fingers trailed all the way down to my wrist, then back up to my shoulder where she outlined the muscles there.
“I thought you loved my dick,” I teased.
Raine chuckled and sighed at me.
“I like that, too, but your arms are my favorite part of you. They make me feel safe.”
“I’ll always keep you safe,” I told her. I tilted my head to the side, looked into her eyes, and smiled down at her.
“I know.”
“I could do it you know… I could make you come without even touching you.”
“As long as I’m breathing, I’m yours. Even when I’m nothing more than a fucked up dick, I still love you.”
“What did you do before sailing?”
Here was a topic best avoided.
“Not much.”
“You must have done something.”
“Not necessarily.”
“Well you had to have done something to be able to buy your boat, right?”
“It’s a ship. Or it was. Boats are small, and size fucking matters.”
“I love you… I’ll never walk away from you, Raine, I swear — I’ll be with you as long as you will have me.”
I must have rolled my eyes a million times. From Bastian's abusive behaviour to Raine's numerous too stupid to live questions, I wanted to capsize their dinghy then jump into the ocean and drown with them.
Additionally, I was disappointed that Shay Savage decided to describe the 2 Black characters as "dark-skinned". Why do authors feel the need to differentiate the POC characters with derogatory descriptors when they could simply say 'Black'? 🙄
"Forgiveness is the fragrance of the violet which still clings fast to the heel that crushed it. "Raine's eyes met mine again, her tears still staining her cheeks. "I'm a heel, Raine," I told her. "You're my beautiful violet and I'm always crushing you..."
"I'm a nutcase, Raine," I told her. "I'm a murderer and a drunk. I use women as a place to stick my cock. That's who I am. You don't want to delude yourself into thinking I'm something else."
"I didn't know how to stop. Everything in my body was so tight - so tense and hard - I couldn't even stop if I wanted to - I was on complete, reactionary autopilot. I managed to wrap my arms around my knees and lean forward a little, bt that was it. I couldn't look at her because if I did my reaction would be - undoubtedly - violent. I would either lash out more with verbal abuse or I would grab her and violently...beg her to hold me. Fuck..."
"I'd fucked thirty year veteran whores and barely out of high school virgins. Some felt better than others, but it wasn't the physical that made it different. When I connected with Raine physically, I could feel every bit of her soul within my own...It had never occurred to me before that I might have a soul..."
"I knew she wanted me. I knew she loved me. The single, brightest point in the universe wanted and loved me."
“You got me?”
“Yeah, I got you.”
“There was something wrong with me, and none of them ever wanted me to stay. They’d keep the other kids.”
“ This didn’t feel like I was fucking you…it was something else. I don’t know what it is. I want to be with you, and touch you, and hold you. I have this overwhelming desire to protect you and make sure you’re safe. Every time I look at you, it’s like my chest gets crushed, and I just want to stare at you and hold on to you and tell you everything is going to be all right. I don’t know what this is, Raine. I don’t understand what you’re doing to me.”
“I love you too, Bastian.”
“Don’t touch me,” I clarified.
“Why not?”
Because I want it and I don’t deserve it….”
***
“Your…acceptance of me,” I said. “That’s really my favorite thing about you. I don’t know why you put up with my shit, but I’m glad you do.”
"I held you, and you cried, and you asked me why no one had ever wanted you."
I'm not...a nice guy, Raine." I didn't know how to make her understand that there wasn't anything else to me despite what she wanted to believe. I was what I was- violent, crude, and utterly unlovable."
Toss her overboard or stick my tongue down her throat? I couldn't decide and it fucking ticked me off.
I told you before. I'm fucking tense"
"Well, is there something I can do to help with that? Or are you just going to yell at me all this time?
"Yeah, there is something you can do," I said coldly, turning my glare at her. "Come here and blow me. That would probably ease a bit of my tension- especially if you swallow."
...my cock was in danger of busting right through the buttons of my shorts and maybe taking a little trip all on his own. I had the feeling he was already contacting "AAA" for a Triptik and probably trying to book a hotel in pussyland.
I didn't want her to touch me even if my brain was screaming for it. She shouldn't want to have her hands on me. I was fucking toxic- ask any woman who knew me.
I felt everything as I let her take me- mind, body and soul. I did't know if she wanted it or needed it like I did, but I gave it to her anyway.
Vulgar?" I mocked surprise, placing my hand over my chest. "You're implying my speech might include vulgarities? You fucking take that shit back right now!"
"Don't cry, Raine. Not for me."Sebastian Stark!! His possessive and obsessive ways stole my heart.
"Someone should."
"As long as I'm breathing, I'm yours. Even when I'm nothing more than a fucked up dick, I still love you."Plot in a nutshell: this quote sums it up perfectly . . .
We were in a life raft, for the love of God, in the middle of the fucking Caribbean, and I was getting a hard on from a half-drowned stranger lying on top of me. Well at least we know I'm still a guy.I love a good survival story! Honestly, I don't know how I hadn't stumbled onto this book before now.
You could stab me, shoot me, beat me beyond recognition - I could cope with that kind of pain. You couldn't make me feel for you - couldn't make me care because caring meant hurting in a way that I couldn't handle.And I would have LOVED him even more if the author had made his backstory less OTT. I felt like every detail of Bastian's past was pushed too far into the realm of improbable in order to very deliberately yank at my heartstrings.
"I like the way you look at me," I said seriously. "Sometimes when you do, your eyes light up, and I think maybe I could be lucky enough for you to care about a fucked up asshole like me."Happy reading!
“I held you,” she said, her voice was tense and gaining in volume. “I held you, and you cried, and you asked me why no one had ever wanted you. You asked me why your own mother didn’t want you. You asked me why it hurt so much and if I could make it stop hurting. I may not know a lot about you, but I know you aren’t as much of a badass as you want people to think you are.”
Another tear fell down her cheek.
“Don’t cry, Raine. Not for me.”
“Someone should,” she said.
“I want to, Raine,” I said quietly. “I want to let you in. I just don’t know if I can”
“Will you try to let me in, Bastian?” Raine asked. Her fingers traced over my jaw. “Just try? I won’t hurt you – I swear I won’t hurt you like that.”
“You’re already in,” I confirmed.”
“I love you, and I need you to love me. I want it…so, so much…I need it. Even though I think it would be better for you not to care about me, I need you too much to turn away from it. I’ll never walk away from you, Raine, I swear – I’ll be with you as long as you will have me. If any motherfucker ever tried to take you from me, I’d fucking fight to the death for you.”
“Oh, Bastian!” Raine let out another long, exasperated sigh. “Going home is going to be really hard for you, isn’t it?”
“You’re my home,” I said quietly. A big fucking knot crawled up my throat and lodged itself there. I tried to take a deep breath, but it hurt.
“Then you know where your home is”
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“Don’t touch me,” I clarified.
“Why not?”
"Because I want it and I don’t deserve it.”
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“Your…acceptance of me,” I said. “That’s really my favorite thing about you. I don’t know why you put up with my shit, but I’m glad you do.”
"You aren't that hard to accept, Bastian."
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"I'll never give up," I told her. "I'll fight for you, no matter what. I don't deserve you...I'll never believe that...but I want you so bad...I need to be with you. I just have to be, Raine...I don't think I could live any other way anymore."
"Bastian," she whispered, "I'll always love you, and there's nothing that can change that."
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"I knew she wanted me. I knew she loved me. The single, brightest point in the universe wanted and loved me."
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"Tell me you got me," I heard her whisper through her cries.
"I've got you, Raine," I said. "I've got you."
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"You saved me in another way." I looked into her eyes, wanting her to understand what I meant so much. "You gave me something...no someone...to live for. There was no reason for my existence before you."
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"You can live 3 minutes without air, 3 hours without shelter, 3 days without water, and 3 weeks without food.”
“I’m a heel, Raine,” I told her. “You’re my beautiful violet, and I’m always crushing you. You take away my nightmares, and I probably add to yours . I don’t think I will ever believe I deserve you, but I love you more than I can even describe. I don’t know if I can ever… be better for you, but if you’re willing to keep forgiving me for being a complete idiot, I’m willing to keep trying.”This was romantic suspense at it's best -
I had never run from anything in my life. What was it about this miniscule little girl that scared the shit out of me? Once she understood everything, she was going to hate me, and the thought was extremely unnerving. I didn’t want her to hate me.Let's be honest, Bastian is an asshole... His dark and sordid past includes violence and death - just knowing the details could get Raine killed... But they're castaways, who is she going to tell? Besides, there's something about the beautiful young girl which sirs something inside Bastian...
"...I've seen you, Bastian – the real you. I know what's inside that thick skin you try to use as a shield. I've seen you at your worst, and I'm pretty sure I saw you at your best just a few minutes ago. If not then, it was when you told me not to be scared. You can't fool me anymore, Bastian. I know too much. I know you've been hurt, and I know you're scared."Raine was hiding from the darkness of her own past... Taking a cruise on Bastian's ship before the storm came. He pulled her out of the water and saved her life. Now she must face all of the challenges of survival AND deal with Bastian's sparkling personality.
“Are you fucking serious?” I asked her. “Have you ever heard the phrase ‘there aren't any stupid questions?’”Right, you heard the man! I guess you better read the book!
“Yes.”
“Well, there are. That was one of them.”