Jungle Cruise

Jaume Collet-Serra is a talented director, his first film Orphan is great and I liked his collaboration with Liam Neeson (that was back when Liam was still making fine films). Unfortunately, I didn't like this feel-good film. It takes something from Indiana Jones, Jumanji and Pirates of the Caribbean, but it can't come close to any of the them. It lacks its own edge, it lacks epicness or anything downright wow. I like The Rock a lot, but I wasn't entertained at all here; the humor went absolutely me, even Journey 2: The Mysterious Island was more interesting than this whole expedition. Emily Blunt is good, she's nice to look at, but I didn't trust the chemistry between the two protagonists. The jungle sets are quite nice, and even though it's too colourful and digital, the setting is probably the most interesting thing about the film. The villain here is not interesting at all good. The human one was chosen in a completely inappropriate and uninteresting way, and Edgar Ramirez as the "zombie" looked cool, but for my taste he had little room to do anything downright great. The action scenes didn't entertain me, nothing much explodes, there's a lack of physical action, it's more of a jungle chase with the occasional animal. Yes, the kids will be happy, but it's not enough for me and it's about half an hour longer than it should be. In the cinema I hoped it would be finally over and that's never a positive calling card. Two stars seems harsh as I'm obviously not the target audience, but for me it's the weakest cinema visit so far and a mild ordeal. Story 3/5, Action 3/5, Humour 2/5, Violence 0/5, Entertainment 3/5 Music 3/5, Visuals 4/5, Atmosphere 3/5, Suspense 2/5. 5/10. (07/30/2021)

Comparing it qualitatively with the first Mummy or the initial Pirates of the Caribbean movies is, in my opinion, completely off the mark! Maybe I’m not the ideal target audience that Disney aimed for; if I were 15 years younger, I’d probably enjoy all those colors more. But at least I can evaluate it a bit more objectively from a filmmaking perspective. First off... The Rock didn’t fit at all! I understand he’s a mega-star these days, but his presence on the boat sometimes felt ridiculous. Among the main trio, Emily Blunt was definitely the best; I bought into her English-style humor in almost every shot. The villains were quite comical (Plemons trying a German accent was, in a word, a tragedy). The music was decent, the story within the genre was okay (I don’t expect much from a fairy tale), but the digital landscape was quite jarring; the green screen was obvious. So, in summary... It’s not a complete disaster; there’s always something happening in the film, but it doesn’t come close to the best adventure movies. And that’s saying a lot. It gets a strong two stars. 5/10 (08/13/2021)

It really wants to be The Mummy crossed with the first Pirates of the Caribbean. But it's a lot closer to The Mummy Returns and the fourth Pirates, episodes of their respective franchises that are so routinely unmemorable for any quality that I had to check if I'd actually seen them. The film is aimed at a slightly younger audience than one would expect for a family adventure film, which the filmmakers try to make up for with references to classics of the genre (from The African Queen to Jumanji to Indiana Jones). It’s a pity that most of them are forced. It's saved by the more than solid pacing, an excellent opening half hour that hints at a better film than what follows, and a cast that is visibly having a good time. My eight-year-old son was delighted, I was not charmed. In other words, your standard, routine Disney corporate CGI fest for the whole family. (07/30/2021)

It's clear very quickly who the mischievous adventurer Rick O'Connell, the brave beauty Evelyn, and sidekick Jonathan are; all that's missing is to swap Egyptian sand for Amazonian water. Occasionally, comparisons to Indiana Jones arise, so let's use that to see how far apart they actually are. The goal is shared, but in the first three installments of Spielberg's series, what painfully lingers here does not appear. Flashbacks meant to quickly introduce the mythology feel forced, as if the creators feared that the audience wouldn't be able to integrate that information into the plot, or that the young audience wouldn't grasp it. Yet, this only encourages the audience's imaginative laziness (the exact opposite being, for instance, the professor's concise explanation, the image of the Ark, and Williams' motif). And then there's the obligatory CGI nonsense that inexplicably insists that the longer it is, the better it will be. P.S.: The opening jingle of the production studio seems to suggest that Money...nothing else matters. (08/13/2021)

Disney has produced another amazing adventure, and I couldn't keep track of how many different sources the filmmakers drew from (read: stole or ripped off). Those I noticed are The Mummy, Indiana Jones, Tomb Rider (the game), Pirates of the Caribbean, and All the Rivers Run:-) It was all incredibly "original", with an abundance of CGI (in terms of the amount, not quality), and it made the whole thing look like an adventure-fairy tale for the educationally challenged who like the jungle, rivers, boats, submarines, jaguars, musclemen, gays, heroic women, and dumbed-down scripts. I was partly just staring in disbelief, partly bored, and partly comforted by the presence of Emily Blunt. The youngest son of William II? Why? Do the Americans even know who William II was? (01/06/2022)