31

So here we have another Zombie slasher ride from Buranov with characters you won't sympathize with for a million years, plus as a bonus, it doesn't have an absolute point or sense. Except for well-handled visuals, quite funny music, and fantastic masks, you probably won't get anything else. The running time is unnecessarily long considering that the same things keep happening over and over again, and I never really enjoyed Zombie's favorite clownish killers and they will probably never stop annoying me (the scene with the midget really irritated me). So, what else can I give it but two worthless stars, because I can honestly say that it doesn't deserve more, and it's not just because of my antipathy towards this mysterious director who enjoys shooting the same horrors over and over again. (30/10/2016)

A slasher fest without much sense but with a pretty OK dirty atmosphere, a plethora of relatively charismatic killers, and plenty of blood. Films like this can be more effective only when you can root for the characters, which isn’t a risk here. It wouldn’t hurt, either, if the sad sod that some people consider an important horror author tried for a change to write the script before the film begins shooting. 31 feels as if the script consisted of one page outlining the central idea and the rest was improvised on set. (19/09/2016)

Rob Zombie could make up for this year's dearth of gore, and it's a surprise that a lot of the murders go out of frame or can't be seen properly due to the frantic camera, which I give a thumbs down for, but other elements were nice. The villains are great, except for the crazy dwarf repeating puta and mierda, he was annoying. Schizo-Head and Psycho-Head offer motorbike games and more significant gore, but the biggest surprise is Doom-Head, who played the sleazy madman very convincingly and deserves a solo. On the plus side, there are great make-up effects, a very dirty look, very unlikeable characters, one redneck next to another – I missed this quite a bit, hixploitation doesn't really work nowadays. A lot more could have been made out of the idea, though. Even though it's more of a 3*, there hasn't been a more sick twisted movie here this year, I’m going for a weaker four stars. Story 5/10, Atmosphere 7/10, Gore 6/10, Visuals 5/10, Action 7/10, Suspense 7/10, Humor 4/10. Entertainment 7/10, Scares 0/10. 70%. (16/09/2016)

The horror film 31 is more like a bite-sized snack. If you were expecting something big, new, and unique from Zombie, then 31 simply isn't that kind of film. It's a slasher/survival that's gory but doesn't have a single positive character you can like. Clowns are a bit of a cliché, but the filthiness of this rendition makes it work. For me, it's a decent horror average because it manages to leave an impression on you at times. (17/01/2017)

Zombie no longer goes for meta-art overlaps, but unfortunately, there’s also nothing else there. I thus sadly long for at least a hint of an eccentric plot to give the whole brutality even a modicum of meaning (only the Mexican Nazi midget gets points even without doing anything), and for a more vigorous directorial self-direction to tame the senseless visual passions, where most of the carnage is indiscriminately shot by the camera and edited by a drunken redneck. I've defended Rob for years, but I'm not going to accept this sort of fail a third time. (21/10/2016)