Dating violence: Difference between revisions

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Teen dating violence (TDV) also known as dating violence and dating abuse is a pattern of threatened physical, sexual, emotional, and technological abuses perpetrated by an adolescent against a current or former dating partner. TDV also includes situations in which one partner attempts to maintain power and control over the other through the use of abuse. The Center for Relationship Abuse Awareness describes dating abuse as a "pattern of abusive and coercive behaviors used to maintain power and control over a former or current intimate partner."^[1]

Teen dating violence crosses all racial, economic and social lines. Between 1 in 4 and 1 in 5 teens nationally experience physical or sexual violence by their dating partner.^[2] Both males and females can be victimized by or perpetrate teen dating violence. However, gender differences exist in types of abuse and motivators of abuse; boys are more likely to perpetrate physical and sexual abuse resulting in injury.^[3]

Any and all forms of abuse committed by one teen against another may be considered Teen Dating Violence; of notable mention are sexual assault, sexual harassment, threats, physical violence, verbal abuse, insults, mental or emotional abuse, social sabotage, technological abuse and stalking. Physical force has been the most studied domain of dating violence, but more contemporary definitions of the term also account for sexual and psychological forms of aggression.^[4]

Psychological aggression, also referred to as emotional or verbal aggression, threatens personal integrity and increases partner dependency. Sexual aggression is defined as intimidation or pressure to engage in sexual intercourse or other sexual acts, or to engage in these actions more often than desired. Sexual coercion increases power differentials in the relationship and often it co-exists with psychological and/or physical aggression.^[5]

A developmentally specific challenge for teens is knowing what healthy relationships are. Based on peer attitudes and social messages, teen victims of violent dating relationships may perceive aggression, jealousy, or emotional abuse as a normal part of dating^[6], thus threatening future engagement in safe dating patterns.

Both victims and perpetrators of teen dating violence reportedly have a lower level of self-esteem and sense of self-worth, and are more likely to self blame and to experience feelings such as hurt, anger, depression, and anxiety.^[7][8] Overall life satisfaction for these individuals is reportedly reduced.^[9] For a review of Teen Dating Violence see Ulloa et. al, (2010)^[10].

The majority of teen dating violence intervention programs are school-based and target high school students. These students are at a critical age for shaping appropriate attitudes and behaviors, as they are in the early stages of experimentation with dating relationships.^[11] In general, these programs have a similar tacit, which is to influence student attitudes and increase student knowledge about teen dating violence. It is anticipated that this approach will decrease the likelihood that these students will become, or continue to be, a participant of dating violence.

An example of such programs is a five-session curriculum developed by Avery-Leaf, Cascardi, O’Leary, and Cano^[12] with the goal of promoting equity in dating relationships by illustrating the effects of inequality, challenging violence as a form of conflict resolution, and increasing knowledge of available resources. Lavoie, Vezina, Piche, and Bovin^[13] developed a short form program that highlights control and rights in relationships, and a long form that adds a film about dating violence and writing fictional letters to a perpetrator and victim of dating violence. Lastly, Jaffe, Sudermann, Reitzel, and Kellip^[14] developed a program designed to increase knowledge about violence against women, sexist attitudes, warning signs of abuse, and community resources.

Safe Dates is probably the most prominent teen dating violence prevention program in the literature.^[11] The program structure of Safe Dates is delivered to grade eight and nine students and includes two school activities (including a theater production and a poster contest), a ten-session curriculum (45-minute sessions), and a community component. The curriculum for Safe Dates was founded on and developed through extensive research, involvement of students, and contributions from experts in the field. The sessions are taught by teachers assigned to health class instruction, and the curriculum is delivered during these regularly scheduled classes. The community activity involves training for service providers, increasing student knowledge of available resources, and providing support groups for adolescents in violent relationships. However, the support groups have shown low endorsement rates by students, leading to their diminishment.^[15] This program prevented and reduced dating violence and positively changed cognitive mediating variables one month after program implementation.^[16] One year after the intervention, the cognitive effects were maintained, and in a three-year follow-up study, adolescents that received Safe Dates had significantly less physical, serious physical, and sexual dating violence perpetration and victimization.^[17]

Several risk factors for victimization exist.^[18]

• Antisocial peer attitudes where peers endorse dating violence as normative
• Protective Service and Juvenile Justice involvement
• Alcohol use
• Early sexual activity at age 13 or younger
• Exposure to school violence
• Invalidating school and family environments
• Individual attitudes
• Witnessing parental domestic violence
• Barriers in access to resources resulting from Immigration Status
• Disconnection from culture of origin

• Lack of or restrictive guidance on minor status in access to shelter and legal resources
• Prevalence of adult domestic violence
• Lack of youth specific resources
• Social attitudes
• Negative media portrayal of teen relationships
• School violence
• Lack of teen-dating-violence-specific school policies and protocols
• Inconsistent legal resources
• Lack of resources for funding
• Policies regarding Immigration Status
• Poverty. 55% of teen mothers receiving TANF benefits experienced dating violence within the past year.^[19]

• Individual knowledge and skills for developing healthy communication and relationships
• Positive relationship with family: high expectations, and a caring and supportive relationship in the family.
• Positive adult relationships: high expectations, and a caring and supportive relationship with an adult in the community.
• Positive peer relationship and influence: caring and supportive relationships with peers.
• Positive school engagement: high expectations, and a caring and supportive relationship in the school.
• Involvement in school activities, behavioral boundaries in the school
• Empathy, impulsiveness, sensation seeking, and religiosity^{[citation needed]}.
• Knowledge of youth-specific resources
• Connection with culture and traditions; meaningful participation within the community

• School-based health centers
• School teen dating violence policies
• Orders for protection for youth
• Youth shelters and community centers
• Teen dating violence screening

^[20]

• One high school student in 9 (12.6%) in New Mexico reports being hit or physically hurt within the 12 months preceding a 2007 survey.^[21]
• Women ages 16 to 24 experience the highest per capita rates of intimate violence—nearly 20 per 1000 women.

(Bureau of Justice Special Report:Intimate Partner Violence, May 2000)

• About one in three high school students have been or will be involved in an abusive relationship.
• Forty percent of teenage girls ages 14 to 17 say they know someone their age who has been hit or beaten by a boyfriend.
• In one study, from 30 to 50 percent of female high school students reported having already experienced teen dating violence.
• Teen dating violence most often takes place in the home of one of the partners.
• In 1995, 7 percent of all murder victims were young women who were killed by their boyfriends.
• One in five dating couples report some type of violence in their relationship.
• One in five college females will experience some form of dating violence.
• A survey of 500 young women, ages 15 to 24, found that 60 percent were currently involved in an ongoing abusive relationship, and that all participants had experienced violence in a dating relationship.
• One study found that 38 percent of date rape victims were young women from 14 to 17 years of age.
• A survey of adolescent and college students revealed that date rape accounted for 67 percent of sexual assaults.
• More than half young women raped (68 percent) knew their rapist either as a boyfriend, friend or casual acquaintance.
• Six out of 10 rapes of young women occur in their own home or a friend or relative's home, not in a dark alley.
• More than 4 in every 10 incidents of domestic violence involves non-married persons. (Bureau of Justice Special Report: Intimate Partner Violence, May 2000)

• Decreased help-seeking behavior resulting from stigma.
• Early sexual activity with multiple partners
• Increased contraction of sexually transmitted diseases
• Teen pregnancy -- at a four to six times greater rate than the average—and rapid repeat pregnancy.
• Truancy and drop-outs
• Tobacco, substance, and alcohol use
• Psychological trauma resulting in behavioral health disorders
• Eating disorders, overweight, and obesity
• More severe, lethal adult domestic violence.
• Barriers to educational attainment and sustainable employment. 34-57% of young women being victimized reported experiencing: physical violence when attempting to go to work or school; destruction of documents, clothes, and other important items so they cannot go to school or work; and being kept up all night before school or work.
• Barriers to accessing health care. 22% of teens in violent relationships began prenatal care in the 3rd trimester of pregnancy, compare to 7.5% of non-abused teens
• Injury resulting from sexual assault. 58% of survivors of sexual assault report being raped between the ages of 12-24.
• Suicide, at an 8 to 9 times greater rate; adolescent girls reporting recent dating violence were 60% more likely to report one or more suicide attempts in the past year.
• Homicide. Of all female adolescents between the ages 16–19 murdered each year from 1990–1999, 22% were killed by intimate partners.^[22]

• Control of daily activities, choices, and access to resources
• Isolation from family, friends, religious activities, school, community, etc.
• Peer Pressure and Bullying, where sexual bullying is linked with dating violence
• Threats of physical or sexual violence, self-harm (i.e. cutting), or to disclose personal information to others
• Birth Control Sabotage, where a majority (51%) experience at least one type of birth control sabotage during their relationships, which includes verbal sabotage, such as being labeled promiscuous for using birth control, and behavioral sabotage, such as being physically assaulted for requesting the use of condoms, or being forced to have sex without protection.
• Forced or Coerced Pregnancy, where pregnancy promoting behaviors by adolescent male perpetrators may be linked to increase in birth rate among teen dating violence victims.
• Emotional Abuse
• Education and Employment Sabotage
• Spiritual Abuse or the prevention of access to spiritual activities, traditions, and practices
• Technological Abuse and Stalking
• Physical Abuse
• Sexual Coercion and Assault
• Suicide or Homicide threats, attempts or completions

^[23]

• Red Flags is a youth-friendly tool that identifies teen dating violence early and provides safety resources.^[24] Warning signs are tell-tale signs of an abusive relationship.^[25]:
• R=relationship status, respect, resiliency, rights in relationships
• E=emotional abuse, educational sabotage
• D=drug and alcohol abuse
• F=friends and family
• L=lethality or dangerousness
• A=anger, arguments, aggression, abuse and stalking history, access to weapons, animal cruelty, attempts or threats to harm themselves or others
• G=give youth-centered resources
• S=safety plan

^[26] and ^[24]

• Talk with all your friends about ways to identify TDV
• Tell your friend you are worried for their safety
• Include tech and internet abuse in safety plan
• Role play with teens on reproductive health needs
• Help your friend make a SAFETY PLAN http://www.thesafespace.org/pdf/handout-safety-plan-workbookteens.pdf )
• Encourage them to tell someone they trust about the abuse. Breaking the silence saves lives!
• Remind them to keep a cell phone charged with minutes
• Help them to memorize important numbers instead of just storing them in their cell phones
• Know when to ask an adult for extra help

• Have them write down all the good and bad things about their relationship in a list. Help them find healthy things to replace the good things on the list.
• Develop a list of “Must-Haves” and “RED FLAGS” in Relationships
• Make a life-size person from butcher paper, fabric, markers, etc,and encourage them to artistically represent a teen in a healthy relationship
• Create a collage of images that represent elements of healthy relationships, how the media demonstrates relationships,and what they want in a safe relationship
• Make TDV tee shirts of the effects of violence in their lives ^[24]

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• Studies show 42% to 87% of dating violence takes place in a school building or on school grounds. Therefore, teachers have opportunities to observe interactions between dating partners that other adults, like parents, might not see. The ultimate goal is to prevent teen dating violence.'---To stop it before it begins.' Educators play an important role in their school communities to not only impart knowledge but also serve as trusted, adult role models for their students.
• In order to assist schools in developing and carrying out violence prevention and response plans, the Departments of Education and Justice and the American Institutes for Research developed a report, "Safeguarding Our Children: An Action Guide." The report indicates that an effective school violence prevention plan must include three tiers:
• 1.Schools must build a school-wide foundation for all children. This involves: supporting positive discipline, academic success, and mental and emotional wellness through a caring school environment; teaching students appropriate behaviors and problem solving skills; positive behavioral support; and appropriate academic instruction with engaging curricula and effective teaching practices.
• 2.Schools must identify students at risk for severe academic or behavioral difficulties early on and create services and supports that address risk factors and build protective factors for them. Approximately 10 to 15% of students exhibit problem behaviors indicating a need for such early intervention. It is important that staff be trained to recognize early warning signs and make appropriate referrals. Once students are identified, they must receive coordinated services that meet their individual needs. A number of approaches have been developed for interventions at this stage, including anger management training, structured after-school programs, mentoring, group and family counseling, changing instructional practices, and tutoring.
• 3.Schools must identify and provide intensive interventions for the few children who are experiencing significant emotional and behavioral problems. This involves providing coordinated, comprehensive, intensive, sustained, culturally appropriate, child-and family-focused services and supports. Such interventions might include day treatment programs which provide students and families with intensive mental health and special education services; multi-systemic therapy, focusing on the individual youth and his or her family, the peer context, school/vocational performance, and neighborhood/community supports; or treatment foster care, an intensive, family-focused intervention for youth whose delinquency or emotional problems are so serious and so chronic that they are no longer permitted to live at home. To be effective, these approaches generally require the collaboration of schools, social services, mental health providers, and law enforcement and juvenile justice authorities.
• As more schools in our nation develop and implement such plans with support from their communities, we should continue to see reductions in violence in our Nation's schools.

For school personnel:

• Schools can play a key part in the prevention of TDV. Behaviors associated with TDV have a negative impact on academic achievement and school safety. National studies show that nearly half of teen dating violence victims experience some dating abuse on school campuses (Molidor & Tolman, 1998). Here are some important links to help you prevent and raise awareness of teen dating violence:
• American Bar Association’s Teacher’s Guide http://www.abanet.org/unmet/teendating/teachersguide.pdf
• Choose Respect Teacher’s Manual http://www.chooserespect.org/scripts/materials/discussionguide/discussionguide.pdf
• Expect Respect School Curriculum http://new.vawnet.org/Assoc_Files_VAWnet/NRC_Expect-full.pdf
• A Guide to Addressing TDV and Sexual Assault in a School Environment can be found at http://www.publicsafety.ohio.gov/NCVRW/TDV_GuideAssessingTDViolence.pdf
• Lessons from Literature Classroom Manual for English Literature Teachers http://www.lessonsfromliterature.org/docs/manual/ClassroomManual.pdf
• Love is Not Abuse Curriculum http://www.loveisnotabuse.com/teen_curriculum.htm

• If you are a parent and want to learn more about TDV, here are helpful links:
• Love is Not Abuse website, with parent handbooks: http://www.loveisnotabuse.com/
• Red flags screen for teen dating violence red flags
• Signs of Dating Violence and Parent Handbooks provided at www.LoveisNotAbuse.com
• Moms and Dads for Education to Stop Teen Dating Abuse (MADE) Foundation http://www.loveisnotabuse.com/made/

MADE: Moms and Dads for Education to Stop Teen Dating Abuse is a national coalition of parents, teachers and concerned citizens who are advocates for ensuring that every middle school and high school in the country is teaching a curriculum on preventing dating relationship violence and abuse.

• MADE is inspired by those courageous and dedicated parents who are committed to mobilizing people across the nation to spearhead education efforts in all middle and high schools after watching their children suffer at the hands of a violent partner.
• MADE aims to strengthen the pathways to healthy dating relationships and take the essential steps to break the cycle of relationship violence in the future.
• MADE is working to support the 50 State Attorneys General who have endorsed a teen dating violence resolution and have committed to introducing curricula on dating violence education in their state's schools.
• MADE is working with the National Foundation for Women Legislators (NFWL) and their outstanding members to support the introduction of legislation
• MADE is aiming to ensure that every child in the country has the education and resources available to maintain healthy relationships, free from abuse and violence.
• By building a national coalition of dedicated members, MADE seeks to guarantee that every middle and high school in the country has a curriculum that addresses teen dating violence so our children can learn the path to positive, healthy relationships.
• As a member of MADE, here is how you can help:
• Recruit as many MADE members as you can in your community. Go to local organizations, PTA meetings or elementary schools to find parents, friends, or neighbors who would like to get involved and invite them to be a part of the coalition. The more people MADE reaches, the more we can make sure our children are educated on the issue.
• Build the movement by joining MADE and help generate support for passing teen dating violence and abuse legislation in your state.
• Contact your local middle and high schools and provide them with teen dating violence education materials, such as the Love Is Not Abuse curriculum, provided by Liz Claiborne Inc. free of charge.
• Utilize the MADE tool kit, and send letters to your local policymakers supporting mandated legislation on teen dating abuse education in your state.

• RESPECT is the number one quality of healthy relationships.
• Respect is a pattern of behaviors over time where you:
• Talk honestly and openly
• Make decisions together
• Trust each other
• Value each other's independence
• Build up each other’s self esteem
• Support each other in going after goals or dreams
• Encourage each other to spend time with friends and family and alone
• Have the freedom to be yourself
• Say you’re sorry when you make a mistake and learn from it
• Good Communication
• Control over Angry or Jealous Feelings
• Willingness to Problem Solve
• Fair Fighting
• Understanding
• Self-Confidence

• You have the right:
• To be treated with respect
• To be in a healthy relationship
• To not be abused-physically, sexually, or emotionally
• To keep your body, feelings, beliefs, and property to yourself
• To have friends and activities apart from your boyfriend or girlfriend
• To set limits and values
• To say no
• To feel safe in the relationship
• To be treated as an equal
• To feel comfortable being yourself
• To leave a relationship
• You have the responsibility:
• To determine your limits and values
• To respect your boyfriend's or girlfriend's limits, values, feelings, and beliefs
• To refuse to abuse-physically, sexually, or emotionally
• To be considerate
• To communicate clearly and honestly
• To give your boyfriend or girlfriend space to be his or her own person
• To not try to have power or control in the relationship
• To compromise when needed
• To admit to being wrong when appropriate
• To ask for help from friends, family, and trusted adults

• Safety planning for teens

You should think ahead about ways to be safe if you are in a dangerous or potentially dangerous relationship. Here are some things to consider in designing your own safety plan.:

• What adults can you tell about the violence and abuse?
• What people at school can you tell in order to be safe—teachers, principal, counselors, security?
• Consider changing your school locker or lock.
• Consider changing your route to/from school.
• Use a buddy system for going to school, classes and after school activities.
• What friends can you tell to help you remain safe?
• If stranded, who could you call for a ride home?
• Keep a journal describing the abuse.
• Get rid of or change the number to any beepers, pagers or cell phones the abuser gave you.
• Keep spare change, calling cards, number of the local shelter, number of someone who could help you and restraining orders with you at all times.
• Where could you go quickly to get away from an abusive person?
• What other things can you do?

• Awareness:
  • Break The Cycle: 2009 State-By-State Teen Dating Violence Report Card http://www.breakthecycle.org/content/teen-dating-violence-state-law-report-cards
  • Jennifer Ann's Group: Teen Dating Violence resources http://www.JenniferAnn.org/TDV.htm
  • Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month (U.S.) http://www.teendvmonth.org/
  • School-based suggestions:
    • Assemblies
    • Speakers
    • Flyers
    • Awareness Day
    • Ribbons
    • Morning announcements
  • Ten things you can do to promote teen dating abuse awareness
    • 1.Promote awareness of teen abuse violence by hanging posters at your school or on a community bulletin board. You can make your own or use ours download and print them immediately through loveisrespect.org.
    • 2.Ask the school nurse or a teacher to make dating abuse brochures and quizzes available to students.
    • 3.Join loveisrespect, National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline on MySpace or Facebook. Post our “I believe that love is respect” badge to your profile.
    • 4.Stay educated. Learn to recognize relationship abuse and what to say to a friend [link to] in an abusive relationship. Once you’ve done this, you may be surprised by the people that turn to you for help.
    • 5.Forward our editorial to your school newspaper editor or sponsor.
    • 6.Write an article about teen dating abuse and submit it your campus or town newspaper. Include a referral to www.loveisrespect.org for your readers that may be in abusive relationships.
    • 7.Create a public service announcement or video to create awareness abut dating abuse. Share it with your friends (send it us http://www.youtube.com/loveisrespect too!) through YouTube http://www.youtube.com/loveisrespect or your MySpace or Facebook profile.
    • 8.Set up a table at lunch to provide dating abuse materials to students at your school. Contact your local domestic violence program and ask about volunteer opportunities. Also, ask about projects they may have specific to teen dating abuse. If you need, a loveisrespect peer advocate can help you locate the program in your area.
    • 9.Organize a school wide assembly or fundraiser focusing on dating abuse. Invite speakers from local domestic or dating abuse programs. Involve a variety of clubs or groups at school. Ask the drama club to perform, the literary magazine staff to read poetry, and the band or musicians to play.
    • 10.Start a healthy relationship and dating abuse awareness club. Find a teacher to sponsor the club and help you get started by creating a mission statement. If there’s already an anti-violence or social service club in your school, ask if dating abuse can be included in their focus.

• Prevention:
• Legislation 2009 Bills - Nationwide ABA National Teen Dating Violence Prevention Initiative
• See it and Stop it toolkit
• Love is Not Abuse Teen
• Love Is Not Abuse - LIZ CLAIBORNE FOUNDATION
• Love Is Not Abuse DatingViolence Prevention Curriculum (pdf; 59 pages)
• Love is respect - National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline
• Evidence-Based or Promising TDV Prevention Programs:
• Safe Dates http://www.hazelden.org/web/go/safedates
• Expect Respect Student Groups http://new.vawnet.org/Assoc_Files_VAWnet/NRC_Expectfull.pdf
• Break the Cycle http://www.breakthecycle.org/pdf/rand_curriculum_report.pdf

Prevention programs

• Resources on preventing youth violence. Information is provided in three sections: general information; evidenced-based best practices and programs; and tools for taking action:

General Information--

• Youth Violence: A Report of the Surgeon General

This Surgeon General's report seeks to focus on action steps that all Americans can take to help address the problem of youth violence, and continue to build a legacy of health and safety for our young people and the Nation as a whole.

• Youth Violence Prevention—This website provides information on youth violence prevention from the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.
• CDC Program Activities Guide—This guide describes CDC’s public health activities and research to prevent youth violence.
• Prevent Youth Violence—This website provides information on preventing youth violence from the U.S. Department of Justice.
• Urban Networks to Increase Thriving Youth Through Violence Prevention (UNITY)--

The goal of UNITY is to support cities in preventing violence before it occurs and to help sustain these efforts.

• National Academic Centers of Excellence (ACEs) on Youth Violence Prevention—The Academic Centers of Excellence, or ACEs, bring together resources and experts from varied backgrounds to study youth violence issues, share solutions, and work with communities to prevent youth violence.
• The Action Series—To help communities that are concerned about youth violence take action, SAMHSA supports many local initiatives. This action series is intended to further their efforts. Here are the questions that each pamphlet answers.
• Action 1: Preventing Youth Violence: Communities Take Action. – What are the core concepts in youth violence prevention? Is my community ready for a youth violence intervention? How do we create a strategic plan?
• Action 2: Getting Together: Ideas For Effective Collaborations. – What are the characteristics and types of collaborations? How do we form a collaboration and work as a team?
• Action 3: Changing Lives: The Right Program Makes A Difference. – What are the best practices and model programs in youth violence prevention? How do we select and adapt programs and ensure the appropriate mix of human and material resources for successful implementation?
• Action 4: Evaluation: Did You Do It? Did It Matter? – What are the critical building blocks of evaluation? How do we assess our collaboration and our prevention intervention?
• Action 5: Keeping It All Together: Ideas for Sustaining Your Initiative. – How do we sustain our collaboration and interventions? How do establishing effective collaborations and carefully choosing and implementing appropriate programs help lead to sustainability?

• Teen dating abuse
• Date rape

• Love is Respect Teen Dating Abuse Hotline:866.331.9474 or #HOPE from Verizon Cells
• Dating Violence Legal Helpline: 1-800-374-HOPE
• The Trevor Helpline (GLBTQ Youth Hotline)866.488.7386 or www.TheTrevorHelpline.org
• New Mexico Provider TDV Toolkit (2008)http://www.ped.state.nm.us/SchoolFamilySupport/dl08/New%20Mexico%20Teen%20Dating% 20Violence%20Toolkit%20Final.pdf
• New Mexico Teen-Developed Love and Respect Toolkit (2009)http://youthhealthlink.org under the Youth Violence Tab
• TDV Prevention Recommendations, (ABA Publication) http://www.abanet.org/unmet/teenabuseguide.pdf
• Youthhealthlink.org/tdv
• SafeYouth.org

• Break the Cycle: State-by-state report card
• Jennifer Ann's Group: Online resources including games, videos, and polls.
• New Mexico Youth Health Link Teen Dating Violence Resources
• Center for Relationship Abuse Awareness
• National Domestic Violence Hotline
• ACADV.org - created by the Alabama Coalition Against Dating Violence, provides a Dating Bill of Rights.
• Love Is Not Abuse.org - sponsored by Liz Claiborne, provides educational materials.
• Love Is Respect.org - National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline.
• National Youth Violence Prevention Center - offers articles and fact sheets.
• The Safe Space.org - created by Break the Cycle, offers information and allows teens to submit questions.