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202 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 1997
When a man gives his true gift of sex to his woman, he penetrates and blooms her beyond all limits into love. It is the same with the world. To bloom woman and world for real takes authenticity, persistence, and courage of heart. A man must know the truth at his core and be willing to give his gifts fully. [...] He must be willing to dedicate his sex and his life to magnifying love by penetrating woman and world with his true gifts. [...]
Many men are willing to poke their woman and bloom her in a mediocre way, sharing a few orgasms and a few emotional moments of bonding before going over tomorrow’s schedule. Many men are willing to poke the world and bloom it in a mediocre way, making a few bucks and contributing enough betterment so they don’t feel like their life is a total waste.
But very few men are willing to do the deed for real, to use everything they’ve got to liberate their woman and the world into the deepest possible truth, love, and openness. Few men are willing to give their deepest genius, their true endowment, the poetry of their very being, with every thrust of sex and life. Most men are limpened with doubts and uncertainties. Or they hold back their true drive because of fear. So they diddle their woman and the world just enough to extract the pleasure and comfort they need to assuage their nagging sense of falsity and incompleteness.
But if you are willing to discover and embrace your truth, lean through your fears, and give everything you’ve got, you can penetrate the world and your woman from the core of your being and bloom them into love without limit. You can ravish your woman so deeply that her surrender breaks your heart into light. You can press yourself into the world with such enduring love that the world opens and receives your deepest gifts.There is no essential difference between entering your woman’s feminine heart and entering fully into the world. Both forms of intercourse, sexual and worldly, require sensitivity, spontaneity, and a strong connection to deep truth in order to penetrate chaos and closure in a way that love prevails.
Neither woman nor world are predictable. They will often seem to resist your gifts and test your capacity to persist. And, just as surely, they will tenderly respond to the authenticity of your relaxed ministrations, the freedom expressed in your humor, and the invasion of your adamant love. They will open in love and receive you fully—only to resist and test you again, moments or days later. Neither woman nor world can be second-guessed, or fooled. They know when you are just dicking around. They want to receive you for real.There are two ways to deal with woman and world without compromising your true gifts or dribbling away the force of your deep being. One way is to renounce sexual intimacy and worldliness, totally dedicating yourself without distraction or compromise to the path you choose to pursue, free of the seemingly constant demands of woman and world.The other way is to “fuck” both to smithereens, to ravish them with your love unsheathed, to give your true gifts despite the constant tussle of woman and world, to smelt your authentic gifts in this friction of opposition and surrender, to thrust love from the freedom of your deep being even as your body and mind die blissfully through a crucifixion of inevitable pleasure and pain, attraction and repulsion, gain and loss. No gifts left ungiven. No limit to the depth of being. Only openness, freedom, and love as the legacy of your intercourse with woman and world.
If you are going to tryst with women and world at all, better to go all the way and ravish them from the depths of your true core, blooming them open with the wide gifts of your unrelenting heart. Otherwise, if you sheepishly penetrate them to gratify your own needs, your woman and the world will feel your lack of dedication, depth, and truth. Rather than yielding in love to your loving, they will distract you, suck your energy, and draw you into endless complications, so that your life and relationship become an almost constant search for release from constraint.
You can be a renunciate and live alone, apart from woman and world. But if you choose a life of sexual and worldly intercourse, you will feel trapped by woman and world unless you are free in the midst of “true fuck,” yielding yourself into the giving, holding nothing back, dissolving all time in the open of love. Through thick and thin, this is the way of the superior man.
A man abandons responsibility by expecting that his woman will always make her own decisions and then be accountable for the results. This expectation is a withholding of his masculine gift. It puts a woman in the position of magnifying her own masculine. It is good for some women to learn to animate their masculine capacity to make a decision and stick with it. But if a man abnegates his responsibility to provide his woman with the gift of masculine clarity and decisiveness, then she will become chronically sharp, angular, and distrustful of his love. She will cease surrendering in love with him, cease trusting his masculine capacity, and, instead, become her own man.
For most men, their woman is replaceable. Harsh, but true. [...] Many times, in fact, you have probably fantasized about finding another woman even before you lose the one you have. Because a man’s priority is his mission, he will always gravitate to a woman whom he feels would most support his mission. If he feels another woman would enliven him and give him more energy for his work, he might desire her as an intimate partner.
However, you are lodged in the heart of your woman. [...] You are not replaceable in her perception. She does not frequently consider other options, as you probably do. [...] Your relationship with her is not only at the core of her life, but is also the main determinant of her mood.
If your woman has rejected her own feminine core [...] She will try to identify with her masculine side, attempting to de-prioritize you and your relationship. She will think that she must “live her own life” and put more energy into her own career, for instance. While it is obviously healthy for every man and woman to learn to become whole and independent, it is self-destructive for your woman to try to lessen the import of your relationship in her life. [...]
[...] Our culture has become so anti-feminine that many women are trying to deny their feminine core desires and adopt the masculine way of dedication to mission. By denying their feminine essence, such women are predisposing themselves to emptiness of heart, depression, and bodily symptoms of disease.
Likewise, you must not deny your woman’s feminine essence by feeling or saying to her, “Your whole life seems to revolve around our relationship! That’s not healthy. You should have your own life, your own direction, your own career and friends. Stop complaining about our intimate problems and get a life!"
While it is common sense that she should live a fulfilling and engaging life outside of your relationship, it is sexual wisdom to understand that her feminine essence will always hold the flow of love at its center. That’s just the way it is. This flow of love could be in direct relationship with the divine, although it is usually in relationship with a man.The desire for intimate loving is as central to your woman’s life as the mission toward freedom—financial, psychological, and spiritual—is to yours.