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Collusion
While her peers "went out on dates, talked to one another on the phone at night, listened to Greatest Hits," the prize-winning author of this refreshingly honest memoir was "listening to Chopin, Czerny, Scriabin, and Tchaikovsky surging through the humid, resin-filled air of the ballet studio." At the age of 12, Evan Zimroth submitted to the punishing regime of a latter-day Svengali who pushed her into a life of self-denial and physical torture. This demanding and temperamental Russian, a legendary dance master, also took a psychological hold over her, and a disturbing erotic bond was forged between tutor and pupil. The bruising affair dominated Zimroth's teenage years, but she writes about it without rancor. It was only after "F" (as she calls the man throughout the book) died that she felt able to write the story; it is imbued with the wisdom of hindsight and told in wonderfully supple prose. Zimroth writes of the punishment meted out to her on a regular basis--"F" would lash her with a cane--and the rewards--slices of blood-stained cheese that he would feed into her mouth--that she would endure without ever losing her poise. Her psychological acuity is astounding, and anyone who reads this--balletomane or not--will be gripped by Zimroth's lucid exploration of obsession. --Lilian Pizzichini, Amazon.co.uk
- GenresNonfictionMemoir
240 pages, Paperback
First published December 30, 1998
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Displaying 1 - 4 of 4 reviews
July 16, 2008
In Collusion, novelist and poet Evan Zimroth recounts her days as an adolescent ballet student and her completely inappropriate relationship with her ballet master "F.", a famous Russian dancer.
At the age of 12, Evan submitted to the punishing regime of a latter-day Svengali who pushed her into a life of self-denial and physical torture. This demanding and temperamental Russian, a legendary dance master, also took a psychological hold over her, and a disturbing erotic bond was forged between tutor and pupil. Zimroth writes of the punishment meted out to her on a regular basis--"F" would lash her with a cane--and the rewards--slices of blood-stained cheese that he would feed into her mouth--that she would endure without ever losing her poise.
At an early, impressionable age, Evan became intoxicated by ballet, and completely addicted to "F." I was disturbed that she chose "F." over her family and was allowed to become obsessed with her teacher. I was also amazed at the behavior of "F." I found him cowardly and cruel, and it was extremely hard for me to relate to his hold on Evan.
A dancer's life can be as magical as it is painful. In ballet there is always someone who is better than you, someone who gets more attention, more praise, more respect. Dancers who fail to develop will not survive in the face of this disappointment. Evan was the star pupil in "F.'s" class, she was the one he gave all his attention to. She looked forward to physical punishment and saw them as proof of his love for her.
At the end of the book, Zimroth writes that "writing is not catharsis," that she did not pen her memoir to gain any insight or closure. She believes that she will always think of "F." with fondness. I was really shocked by that statement. It made the entire book seem pointless to me. I was aggravated by her lack of hindsight.
That being said, the writing was good and the subject fascinating to me, so I did enjoy it. I can't say that something is bad just because it angered me. If you intend to read this book however, prepare for a compelling but disturbing story. That is all I can say.
At the age of 12, Evan submitted to the punishing regime of a latter-day Svengali who pushed her into a life of self-denial and physical torture. This demanding and temperamental Russian, a legendary dance master, also took a psychological hold over her, and a disturbing erotic bond was forged between tutor and pupil. Zimroth writes of the punishment meted out to her on a regular basis--"F" would lash her with a cane--and the rewards--slices of blood-stained cheese that he would feed into her mouth--that she would endure without ever losing her poise.
At an early, impressionable age, Evan became intoxicated by ballet, and completely addicted to "F." I was disturbed that she chose "F." over her family and was allowed to become obsessed with her teacher. I was also amazed at the behavior of "F." I found him cowardly and cruel, and it was extremely hard for me to relate to his hold on Evan.
A dancer's life can be as magical as it is painful. In ballet there is always someone who is better than you, someone who gets more attention, more praise, more respect. Dancers who fail to develop will not survive in the face of this disappointment. Evan was the star pupil in "F.'s" class, she was the one he gave all his attention to. She looked forward to physical punishment and saw them as proof of his love for her.
At the end of the book, Zimroth writes that "writing is not catharsis," that she did not pen her memoir to gain any insight or closure. She believes that she will always think of "F." with fondness. I was really shocked by that statement. It made the entire book seem pointless to me. I was aggravated by her lack of hindsight.
That being said, the writing was good and the subject fascinating to me, so I did enjoy it. I can't say that something is bad just because it angered me. If you intend to read this book however, prepare for a compelling but disturbing story. That is all I can say.
March 9, 2011
Scary. All I can think whilst reading this disturbing tale about an abuse of power between a sadistic ballet master and a young girl is "where were her parents???". At one stage they actually forbid her from attending ballet, to which her ballet master asks her to choose between him and her parents. Where were they then?
The apologetic prelude to the book is perhaps the most foreboding part. Where Zimroth shoulders blame for the abuse she endured - both physical and emotional - claiming that she, as a naive and clearly parentally abandoned school girl, was as equally responsible as her married ballet master.
If nothing else (and there isn't much else to tell, really), let this book serve as a warning of what it looks like when a girl grows up with parents who are uninvolved and disinterested!
The apologetic prelude to the book is perhaps the most foreboding part. Where Zimroth shoulders blame for the abuse she endured - both physical and emotional - claiming that she, as a naive and clearly parentally abandoned school girl, was as equally responsible as her married ballet master.
If nothing else (and there isn't much else to tell, really), let this book serve as a warning of what it looks like when a girl grows up with parents who are uninvolved and disinterested!
December 28, 2009
This story builds...and builds...and builds...and...nothing. I was exhausted and horribly let down as I willed myself to press on through the pages. Skip this one, and read "Ballerina" by Edward Stewart instead.
March 27, 2013
Very disturbing... but not what I expected at all. The back of the book claims that this is a about the affair between a ballet master and his pupil, but nothing actually happened.
I'm sure this book was very boring for readers who aren't dancers.
I'm sure this book was very boring for readers who aren't dancers.
Displaying 1 - 4 of 4 reviews