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216 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 1966
What with the Three Days of War and decades of Vegan occupation, Earth isn't doing too well these days. Indeed, all that seems to be left for us is selling off our heritage to the blueskins bit by bit. That's why Conrad Nomikos, Minister of Culture, Arts and Monuments, is tagged to play the part of native guide when one of these superior beings pays a visit to our backwater planet - and finds himself acting as the haughty alien's bodyguard as well.
But should he? He says that the purpose of his visit is to write a travelogue, but it is entirely possible that the real reason the Vegan is here is to write finis to the Human race.
There’s really nothing quite like someone’s wanting you dead to make you want to go on living.
Phil (...) had not always been the wielder of the bladeless sword without a hilt
As Commissioner of Arts, Monuments and Archives, I received special considerations. I got The Suite: Number 19.
It wasn’t exactly the way I’d left it. It was clean and neat.
The little metal plate on the door said:
This suite was the headquarters of Konstantin Karaghiosis during the founding of the Radpol and much of the Returnist Rebellion.
Inside, there was a plaque on the bedstead which read: Konstantin Karaghiosis slept in this bed.
In the long, narrow front room I spotted one on the far wall. It said: The stain on this wall was caused by a bottle of beverage, hurled across the room by Konstantin Karaghiosis, in celebration of the bombing of Madagascar.
Believe that, if you want to.
Konstantin Karaghiosis sat in this chair, insisted another.
I was really afraid to go into the bathroom.