Sometimes, couples splurge on expensive gifts to show their love and appreciation. But what happens when your partner asks you to buy an extravagant gift — not for them, but for their best friend?

This is the situation one Reddit user is facing after his wife suggested spending his $3,000 bonus on a high-end necklace as a wedding gift for her best friend.

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This friend has been there for his wife during tough times, helping with rent when she struggled financially and often covering their dinner tabs. While he acknowledges the friend's generosity, he feels a $2,000 wedding gift is simply too much.

“She insisted I should spend the bonus on a wedding gift for her friend,” he wrote. “I shut her down and told her it’s my bonus and she really cannot expect me to buy her friend something this expensive. I don’t think wedding gifts even exceed $100.”

Now the couple is at a standstill, with his wife giving him the silent treatment. But is it fair for her to expect him to spend his bonus this way?

Lack of communication

According to the user, this couple doesn’t have an extra $2,000 to spend on extravagant gifts for friends. Spending that much on a friend just doesn’t feel necessary to him.

“She is marrying a doctor and they already have a house whereas we are still renting,” the user wrote.

A 2023 consumer survey by Bread Financial found that 64% of couples admit to experiencing financial incompatibility with their partners. The findings also suggest those who talk about money more may have more frequent arguments over finances — much like this Reddit user and his wife.

As financial advisor Rick Kahler highlighted in an interview with Forbes, “Many couples can’t talk about money in a functional and helpful way. Each partner's emotions, stories and histories get in the way. Over 80% of all financial decisions are made emotionally."

Though the Reddit user didn’t elaborate on their approach to financial conversations, it’s clear they disagreed on how to use his bonus. Whether he’d rather save for a future home or reduce debt, the lack of open communication and alignment has led to the tension they’re now facing.

Read more: 5 ways to boost your net worth now — easily up your money game without altering your day-to-day life