Talk:Simone Murphy/GA1

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Nominator: Launchballer (talk · contribs) 15:09, 16 April 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Reviewer: Kimikel (talk · contribs) 02:51, 11 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Hello, I am going to review this article as part of the October GA backlog drive. I should be done within a week. Kimikel (talk) 02:51, 11 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]

@Launchballer: Please see my review below. Let me know if there are any questions or concerns with my suggestions, or if you will not be able to complete the review in a timely manner. Thank you. Kimikel (talk) 03:43, 13 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]

@Launchballer: I've finished going over the article and I believe there's nothing left to remedy; as such, I am going to close this review. Thank you for your prompt, quality work and congratulations! Kimikel (talk) 22:39, 13 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]

• "she walked out of" > quit
• "on the grounds that Manchester" > because it
• "work available down there" > work available
• "from her agency" > from Murphy's agency
• "lots of jobs" > many jobs
• "before deciding she could not be bothered" > but did not want
• "only for the producers to email her back" > only doing so after the show's producers emailed her
• "after which she found it easier to obtain work." > remove

I believe I've completed all of these.--Launchballer 04:41, 13 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]

• "the pandemic" > the COVID-19 pandemic
• "After returning to Scotland" > the second half of this sentence has nothing to do with the first, break them up

Split, although it feels recursive mentioning Scotland twice in quick succession.--Launchballer 04:41, 13 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]

• "During the pandemic, modelling work dried up, and Murphy realised that she wanted to make music, so spent lockdown teaching herself." > After modelling work became harder to find during the pandemic, Murphy spent the lockdown teaching herself to make music.
• "In 2023, she released" > In 2023, Murphy released
• "a further track" > another track
• "preferring to take punters" > I can't find a definition for "punters" anywhere that fits this context, perhaps a different word would be better

Changed to "ravers".--Launchballer 04:41, 13 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]

• "nail pop up" > perhaps explain what this is

Pop up nail salon.--Launchballer 04:41, 13 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]

• "annotated with artwork" > decorated with artwork

All done.--Launchballer 04:41, 13 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]

• "after a long dating pause after dating people in the modelling industry" find a way to get rid of this double "after"

Reworded.--Launchballer 04:41, 13 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]

• "[sic]." > which part needs a sic?

Capitalisation of "Sim0ne" and the lack of oxford comma.--Launchballer 04:41, 13 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]

• A ton of sources are missing authors and dates. Go through all of them and see which ones can be input.

I believe I've added all of them that have them.--Launchballer 04:41, 13 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]

1. 1: Maybe I'm missing it but I don't see where states her birthday is 29 July

If you scroll down the comments you should see one from Simone saying "gentle reminder my birthday is this saturday".--Launchballer 04:41, 13 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]

1. 4: Missing author and date
2. 3: Missing date
3. 29: missing date
4. 27: missing author

• Broad in its coverage

• Neutral

• No images, but not a detriment to the article

I can promise you that if I was aware of any Creative Commons images they'd be in the article.--Launchballer 04:41, 13 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]

• Stable