Casualty (TV series)

Max:  And why do you think that?

Sean:  Because of the way you're looking at me.

Charlie:  [upon being asked to admit the rumours about him and Jan being together]  Yes the rumours are true... Patrick and I are engaged!

Stitch:  ...but I do care when you lose focus.  It might not be clear to those numpties in there but it's crystal clear to me.

Guppy:  Hang on, I didn't do anything wrong—

Stitch:  That's because I didn't let you.  What happens when I'm not around?

Guppy:  That's not fair!

Stitch:  [pushes Guppy into a wall]  Who said it was going to be fair?

Dixie:  [to Stitch]  You've been behaving like a ****** all day.

Stitch:  [to Kelsey]  Do I detect the morning after the night before?

Kelsey:  The morning after 8 pints with Dixie.

Stitch:  [having jumped into the back of the ambulance for a day with the paramedics]  Can I drive?

Dixie:  No.

Maggie:  Stitch, I think you are so out of order.

Stitch:  [referring to the next day's meeting with the Health minister]  Sorry Nathan, patients to treat.  You'll have to count the paper cups yourself.

Selena:  There's a firearm, in the treatment room and Harry's in there…[rushes off to save Harry]

Maggie:  No…no…Selena!…no…oh my…

Adam Trueman:  [on phone with girlfriend, trapped with pregnant women in lift]  "No, I'm not shagging someone!  That's a woman in labour!"

Harry:  [about Ruth's suicide attempt]  We did this.  We failed her.  We let these people work here and expect them to deal with the emotions of life and death.  And there are those who slip through the net.  And those that feel isolated.  Those are the ones that we fail.  It's not going to happen again Tess.

Ruth:  A month rolls by, and I didn't think it would be possible to work this hard and enjoy it so much.  But it is.  I love it.  Thank heaven for coffee though.

Ruth:  Toby de Silva.  A boy with a silver spoon in every orephus.  My competition.  Not much of a contest.  A donut in human form.

Zoe:  I'm not planning suicide till I'm 60 or my boobs look like spaniel's ears

Jeff:  What time is it, Dix?

Dixie:  Oh, I don't know Jeffrey; what time is it?

Jeff:  IT'S BEER O'CLOCK!

Toby:  Talk to me.

Ruth:  Is that supposed to be funny?  What are you going to do?  Talk me better?

Alice:  Have you ever tried to stop Kelsey getting drunk?

Big Mac:  Ah, yes, and I still have the bite marks

Alice:  What!

Big Mac:  Take one for the team, Alice

[Ruth is very drunk, Kelsey is chatting up a stranger]

Ruth:  [to the stranger]  Hi, I'm looking for a plus-one.  Do you have a smart suit?

Kelsey:  This is my ex-friend Ruth and my soon-to-be ex-friend Alice.

Zoe:  [arrives]  Evening ladies!

Ruth:  [hugging Zoe]  Zoe!  Zoe, what do I wear to a surgeons dinner?  Well, what would Mr Jordan like me to wear?

Zoe:  Probably nothing.  [they laugh]  Someone’s had a bit to much to drink!

Ruth:  [whispers to Zoe]  I'm going to be sick.

Zoe:  Lovely.

[Kelsey is both drunk and missing]

Alice:  We are in so much trouble.

Alice:  She’s going to miss her own leaving party, and she’s probably lying dead in a gutter.

Zoe:  That’s right, Alice, you look on the bright side.

[at Kelsey's leaving party]

Jay:  And that's the three rules of life according to Jay.

Kelsey:  Yeah, I can read!

[Maggie is seen]

Maggie:  But you spelt breakfast wrong!

Adam gets handed the paternity result of baby Harry and Jessica is anxious for the result

Adam: And the father is… Charlie Fairhead.

Adam:  [finds Heather following the fire not moving]  Heather, hey, Kitten, say something

Heather:  Please stop calling me kitten.

Grace:  [having arrived with a cut hand, she gives her details, written on a tissue, to Shona]  It's all there.  And don't let any crackheads jump the queue

Shona:  [types very slowly]  There you are!  All registered  [Grace walks away]  Plastic surgeon will be with you shortly…

Polly:  [finds Ella at the side of the road; to passerby]  Did anyone see what happened to her?  No?  So she just fell from the skies did she?

[Connie has increased the hours that she expects her doctors to work]

Caleb Knight:  You can't actually be expecting us to work those hours, surely?  They're crippling.  We're going to be exhausted.

Connie Beauchamp:  Then I suggest, Dr Knight, you shock us all, and use your bed for sleeping.

Dylan Keogh:  No, it clearly said nil by mouth.

Connie:  Did Bryan know that?  Did anyone explain that to him?  Obviously not.

Dylan:  No, it was an accident.  I really wouldn't get too obsessed about it, there are many more alarming things going on out there today.

Connie:  Please, spit it out.

Dylan:  Well, er, Lily is dead on her feet, er, Evan, Ethan, whatever his name is, is having a nervous breakdown, the tall one is completely unmanageable…

Connie:  Your concern is commendable, shame you don't know their names.

Charlie:  [to Megan]  You're dying.  But you're not dying alone.

Woman:  [about her husband having to wait]  He's not drunk, mad, or taking crack powder.  So he's not priority.

Official Casualty website

Holby.tv fansite